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That's why Judi Dench and I lost touch after that infamous ride on the Concorde. That never happened, right? God, you really get me. Selena Gomez and Martin Short as Mabel Mora and Oliver Putnam in Only Murders in the Building (2021-present) created by Steve Martin and John Hoffman

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I just need to ask for safety and my own courtesy, since your blog doesn't have an age. You're 18+?

yes over 20+

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'Bedrock and Blueprints' Masterlist

best friends-to-lovers, Ari Levinson x Reader (25k+)

Romance 🔥 || Smut 🦆 || Author Fave 🍀 || Angst ⛈ || Fluff 🌼 || Dark Fic 🌘 || ***��denotes work for all ages

Ari Levinson, now-retired from the Army Special Forces, is your aloof-but-loyal best friend who knows everything about you from the past ten years. What happens when a nomad and chronically planning family woman get together? And what happens when the house is actually falling apart around them?

*Most works under 2k words (longer are labeled).

In The Beginning (origins) ***🌼🔥

Alone Together (Valentine's Day) ***⛈🌼

No, We Aren't (drunk cuddles) 🌼🔥

Saucy (Ari's attraction) 🌼🦆

I Know You (house hunt)*** 🌼

Tension (massage) 🌼🔥🦆

Release (first time) 🔥🦆 (4k)

Oh Dear... (period comfort) *** 🌼⛈

Temper (headcanon humor) *** 🌼

Seventy-Five Days (fake-a-versary) *** 🌼🔥

Post-Nightmare Cuddles *** 🌼⛈ New 5/3!

Everything Has Its Place (house decisions) 🌼⛈🦆

Run-In (your ex comes back) 🌼⛈

A Little Rain Indoors (storm cuddles) *** 🌼🔥

Quick and Dirty (Ari sees your hot co-worker) ⛈🔥🦆

Cooking with Ari (headcanon) *** 🌼

An Ass of You and Me (argument) 🌼

Treasure (gifts headcanon) *** ⛈🌼

Joanna (Ari handles your bad friend) ⛈🌼🔥 (3k+)

The Chair Beside Your Bed (hospital visit) *** ⛈🌼

White Musk (massage 2) 🌼🔥🦆

Too Eager (work troubles) ⛈🦆

Loud and Threatening (sick comfort 1) 🌼

Calling From The Office Of... (sick comfort 2) 🌼⛈

Light of My Life (proposal) *** 🌼

The Break and the Birth (when Ari gets sick) *** 🌼

3 + 1 (the name Mrs. Levinson) 🌼🔥🦆

New Parent Panic (Rachel gets sick)

Random headcanons:

"Anniversary" *** 🌼

Thoughts on the future *** 🌼⛈

[Main Masterlist]

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Steve: Thing is, it's so hard to talk at work because there's no privacy. The roof is freezing, the holding cell is full of perps, and their romantic advice is not great. It's always to tell Y/N, "bitch, get your life right!"

Bucky: And?

Steve: I tried it. She did not like it.

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#He broke the circle (insp)

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Y/N: I'm 27 years old. I'm not getting any younger.

Steve: Really, sweetheart? Because in that last sentence, you just became 5 years younger.

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Y/N: I am 30 years old, I have two GSEs, over thirteen years of schooling and three terms at an adult education centre behind me, right? And with all that, what have I become? I am a lookout.

Steve: No, Y/N, you're wrong. You're not just a lookout, you're a bad lookout!

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[Playing Monopoly]

Y/N: Ah, you landed on Park Lane, I think that's one of my properties.

Steve: Of course it is. You own everything on the board.

Y/N: No I don't, no I don't. Look, you've got Coventry Street, Tony has the waterworks and all that. Ah yeah, Park Lane with one hotel, two thousand please.

Steve: Two...hold on, according to this it's only fifteen hundred.

Y/N: Yes I know, but I've put you in the penthouse suite haven't I?

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Steve: You know, I think I would like to be cremated.

Y/N: Well you'll have to wait till the morning, cause they'll be closed now.

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Steve: During the-

Tony: If you say during the war one more time, I’ll pour this cup of tea over your head.

Steve: I wasn't going to say during the war!

Tony: Okay, alright…I'm sorry. Go on.

Steve: That's alright.

Steve: During the 1939-1945 conflict with Germany-

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Steve: I am not going to go stealing from a fishing pond just because you like the ‘pretty blue one’!

Y/N: We are not going to be stealing.

Steve: Oh, then what are we doing?

Y/N: It’s called poaching.

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Steve: I made a list of everything I missed, including TV shows on a list called ‘TV shows you have to watch before you die’. I ended up watching all ten seasons of the show Friends.

Steve: Those friends really were "friends," weren't they? Although - and I realize this is the kind of observation that maybe no one else had…How did they afford that apartment? A waitress and a chef with those Manhattan real estate prices

Y/N: Yeah, we were all confused about that too.

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Y/N: I may not be a saint, but it's not like I killed anybody. I‘m not arsonist. I’ve never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.

Steve: That was very specific, and it makes me think that you definitely did do that.

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Y/N: Your fly is undone.

Steve: Oh, thanks.

Y/N: Just doing my job.

Steve: It's your job to look at my crotch?

Y/N: As your wife, I consider it one of the perks.

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i just adore him.

video: jenmarkham on tiktok

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Steve: I had a dream that Bruce and Nat got married last night.

Y/N: What hat was I wearing?

Steve: Is that all your focused on?

Y/N: That’s all that matters.

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Steve: On this mission, just give me a heads up when you're lying.

Y/N: I'm always lying. I'll give you a heads up when I'm not.