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Rintaro: *throws door open* IS “HOWDY” SHORTHAND FOR “HOW DO YOU DO”?!

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An important dinner for the alchemists’ association

Houtaro: *dressed up nicely* You look… really pretty.

Rinne: *also dressed up* And therefore I have value?

Houtaro: No. No, no, wait, that’s not- I didn’t mean-

Rinne: I’m just messing with you.

Houtaro: *sighs in relief*

Rinne: Thank you. *smiles, shyly scratches her cheek* You look… pretty, too.

Houtaro: *drops his coat* …th-thank you.

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Sheeta & Jeep: You two… are at the top of our to-kill list!

Hanto: What?!

Shouma: The fact that they share a to-kill list isn’t as surprising as the fact that they have a to-kill list.

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Hana: I never noticed this before, but you really have a certain je ne sais quoi.

Orteca: I have no idea what that means.

Hana: *summons knives* It’s French for I’m gonna KILL YOU!

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Yua: *angrily sips coffee*

Jin: Good morning, Val-

Yua: THIS IS NOT A GOOD MORNING!!

Jin: …meep.

Aruto: *whispering* Fuwa, do something!

Fuwa: Why me?

Izu: Good morning, everyone. Miss Yaiba-

Yua: *predator glare*

Izu: …making an emergency request for Miss Yua’s favorite sushi.

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Neon: First, you get a jar.

Tsumuri: *spins magnum barrel*

Neon: …thaaaaaat’s a gun.

Tsumuri: Y e s.

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Ace fighting with some Game Master

Random DGP Audience Member: GRAB HIS DICK AND TWIST IT!!

Ziin: Wh-WHOA! This isn’t the Desire Royale!

Audience Member: TWIST THAT DICK!

Beroba: Twist his DYICK!

Audience Member: TWIST HIS DICK!

Ziin: I’m going to ban you if you don’t-

Audience Member: THE OL’ DICK TWIST!!

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Mei: Are you an extrovert or an introvert?

Ren: I’m a menace.

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Daiji: Raising awareness of mental health! Mine is very bad. Thank you for listening.

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Houtaro: …Kudo, I mean this in the nicest way possible, but when was the last time you slept?

Rinne: *moon-crater eye bags* …uh. I did some studying when I woke up this morning, then I practiced my alchemy, washed up, went to pick you up so we could go to school, had classes, went to the academy and did some mixing and synthesis… I think I got maybe… two hours, tops.

Houtaro: Over how many days?

Rinne: *looks down at her hands* …I need more fingers.

Houtaro: I will bribe you with your favorite pastries to close your eyes for two minutes.

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Dark Shouma: C’mon out, guys… let’s fight! Ooh, a piece of candy! Ooh, a piece of candy! Ooh, a piece of candy! Ooh, a piece of candy! Ooh, a piece of candy! Ooh-

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Fuwa: I am going to give my inner child a gun.

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Yua: How much of a dick was Amatsu? When I needed to book a flight to meet some investors, he bought out every business seat on the plane. I had to fly coach.

Fuwa: You shoulda shot him.

Yua: It did cross my mind, but coach passengers can’t kill business passengers.

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Spanner: You’re telling me we’re going to have Lachesis in the laboratory from now on?

Kyoka: And the classroom, remember? Even if she doesn’t sleep, she’ll need a place to stay.

Spanner: No, we can’t!

Kyoka: And why not?

Spanner: …I have a feeling I’ll wake up with her foot pressed into my face one of these days.

Kyoka: I didn’t know you were into that kinda kinky stuff. *wiggles eyebrows*

Spanner: *turns away* No, I’m not!

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Daiji: *existing*

Akaishi: You are my child now.

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Touma and Luna: *holding hands*

Mei: Oh my, how lewd~

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Neon: Why?! Why are you doing this?!

Beroba: Bored lol