goodberry-druid-blog

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I think I just had a life changing epiphany while watching Kung Fu Panda 3. Of all things.

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Wild Magic

So we did a oneshot and on the first spell our wild magic sorcerer cast she rolled a 1 on her wild magic die. And then rolled a 1 on her d100, meaning that she had to roll wild magic effects for the next minute. Now she is a sheep that sets fire to everything wherever she goes, every time she opens her mouth pink bubbles come out of her mouth, and there are flower petals and butterflies magically flying around her.

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“Well, I’m going to be a sheep for the next hour.”

- Our Wild Magic Sorcerer

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Dear Americans,

Please go vote. This is a matter where truly, every vote matters. YOUR VOTE MAKES A DIFFERENCE. Get out there and save your country. Don’t trust everyone else to do it. Be part of it. Please.

Love,

Your worried neighbors to the North.

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Me: So... Do you have people?

NPC: .... Define “people.”

Me: People that you live with. That you like.

Me trying to ask about the NPC’s family. Top 10 most awkward conversations.

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Honestly I think Lucretia is the most tragic character ever, and this song rips my little heart out every time.

Please listen to this Lucretia song, and then, cry. 

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So we needed to lock something up and we were trying to figure out if we could make/build a lock, when all of a sudden our dumb barbarian comes up with a plan.

Barbarian: What if. We put it on the ground. And I take a really big rock and put it on top. And hopefully nobody else can lift the rock.

Warlock: ..... You’re a genius!

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My party headed back into a room to have a discussion, but the door was unlocked even though we had locked it upon leaving.

Fighter: *enters* ... I think the room has been bugged.

Barbarian: I look for bugs!

DM: You find a ladybug on the wall.

Barbarian: *smashes the ladybug* No more bugs!! :D

Party: Good job buddy.

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A map of Central Algol, detailing the major cities, capital cities (star icon) and major roadways.

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DM: *filling me in on a session I missed* And then he found out there was contact poison on the table.

Me: “Found out” as in “he rolled high on investigation” or “found out” as in he touched the table and got poisoned?

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Context: Our fighter’s player couldn’t make the session, so the other two players got to play the fighter. We decided to go back to a dungeon we almost died in to check out the room beyond some pressure plate traps.

Party: *goes back into the dunegon we nearly died in*

Fighter: *immediately takes off through the dungeon*

Druid and Rogue: *trying their best to keep up*

DM: And all of a sudden the floor gives out beneath him, and he falls 20 feet into a pit, and a trap door closes over him and locks.

Rogue: I thought we tripped all the pit traps last time! What the hell? Now we have to get him out AGAIN.

Druid: I mean... We don’t HAVE to get him out.

Rogue: ... I mean if we bring him with us he’s going to charge into those pressure plates and set everything off.

Druid: And he can’t get out by himself, so we can’t lose him down here again...

Rogue and Druid: Yeah, let’s just leave him there. *steps over the trap door and keeps going*

DM: ... So you’re leaving a third of your party in a hole.

Us: Yup.

And then we almost died again.

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A doodle I did during class. It was supposed to be a beholder but then I forgot what they looked like exactly so it’s a weird cyclops squid monster now.

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You’ll all scoff at Goodberry until it’s literally been the only thing stopping a player character from dying 5 times over the span 3 sessions.

Tonight’s session is brought to you by Goodberry

“Goodberry: healing the party, one hit point at a time.”

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“... You can’t use sneak attack, it’s a fucking net!”

-Exasperated DM

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I drew up a robot guard for my clockwork city during class (hence the random notes and flow chart surrounding). I call them Skaylays and they’re manufactured with different purposes. I’ll probably just slap a skeleton stat block on them.

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Barely Successful and Mostly Incomplete Dungeon Crawl

We went into this dungeon that had a lot of pit traps and our fighter ran ahead promptly falling into EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. Me and the rogue tried jumping the pits but ended up falling into a couple. The fighter managed to jump one of the pits, but he proceeded to run ahead without waiting for us, took a wrong turn, ended up looping back behind us, then fell back in the pit he jumped only a minute before.

Oh and then there was one pit that we all fell in. The harpoon cannon we were lugging around proved to be useful then.

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“I thought punching the little girls would help.”

-Out of context D&D