epick-cluster-b-blog

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Learn to say “can you love me a bit harder today? It’s a rough day” and then explain how you want to be loved harder.

Learn to say “I could use some support. Are you able to provide some? This is how you can support me -“

Learn to say “I feel lonely. Are you able to keep me company?”

Learn to say “I’m feeling overwhelmed. Can I talk to you about it?”

Do this instead of dropping hints or expecting someone to be able to read you. What may be obvious to you isn’t necessarily obvious to someone else. You’re often hurting your own feelings by not communicating your needs and just hoping people meet them anyways.

I know this is easier said than done. We often drop hints because we feel ashamed or bad about asking for help. But the truth is, for most of our loved ones, us hinting at things is exhausting. It can also set them up for failure because they don’t know your expectations. Sometimes they miss hints but sometimes they ignore them because it’s more draining when they aren’t asked directly. It’s very likely your loved one would appreciate you being direct.

People often want to support and help you, but a lot of them like to be told how they can do that.

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created a new blog! check it out if you’re a writer, role player, oc maker, etc.! :)

Hello and welcome. I made this blog to help people educate themselves while writing neurodiverse and/or mentally ill characters. I can offer help for many different types of mental illness.

My goal is to help writers in creating characters with accurate, sensitive, and tactful depictions of mental illness. I believe that representing mental illness in a positive and understanding way is extremely important.

Things I have good knowledge about:

ADHD

Autism

Mood Disorders (Depression & Bipolar) without psychotic features

OCD and other obsessive-compulsive related disorders (such as BFRBs and body dysmorphia)

PTSD and C-PTSD

Personality Disorders (especially Cluster B)

Dissociative Disorders, including but not limited to DID*

ARFID

Things I have okay knowledge about:

Psychotic and Schizophrenia-spectrum Disorders

Certain Eating Disorders (anorexia, bulimia, pica)

Mood Disorders with psychotic features

Anything not listed here is probably something I have limited knowledge on. I will try to offer help and redirect you to outside resources if in doubt.

So uh, please send an ask if you’re looking for some help!

*footnote: I recognize and support many forms of plurality. Because this blog is centered around mental illness, I do not feel comfortable grouping all plurality under the umbrella of mental illness. Thus, I will not be covering non-disordered plurality on this blog. To all the non-disordered plurals out there, I see you and I support you.

[epick-cluster-b-blog]

Reminder that political figures, abusers, bigots and general bad people aren't "delusional", "brain-dead", "narcissistic" or "psychotic" for the horrible things they do.

They're assholes. Or arrogant. Or power hungry. Or abusive. Or bigoted. Or heavily biased. Or criminals. Or violent. Or aggressive. Or out of touch. Or genocidal. Or any other descriptive word for what they're doing that doesn't make an already stigmatised symptom any more demonised.

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AVPD is a personality disorder in cluster C. 34.91% suffer from alcohol dependence. 19.56% suffer from drug dependence. it is NOT the same as social anxiety disorder (SAD). it is NOT a lack of discipline.

thanks for reading y'all, this turned half informational post half vent, hope you can still appreciate what i'm trying to say.

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I find it so ironic how many stereotypes about narcissists aren't just inaccurate, but are actually the complete opposite of how the average narcissist thinks.

"narcissism is excessive self-love" when most narcissists feel shame more easily than non-narcs do.

"narcissists don't work hard" when most narcissists are prone to perfectionism.

"narcissists are abusers who only pretend to be victims" when most narcissists were abused in childhood and are often on the receiving end of abusive relationships in adulthood.

"narcissists don't try to fit in" when most narcissists are constantly watching for signs of respect or criticism, constantly adjusting our behavior so those around us will see us as competent and pleasant.

and then when you describe what narcissism is actually like, they insist that a narcissist would never act like that, that anyone who fits that description must just have post-traumatic stress or one of the "good" PDs (if they believe there are good ones, that is).

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HPD culture is How do I identify a histrionic crash. Guys. Chat. Help me out here please.

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hey, i was thinking about doing polls for each cluster B disorder. i’m interested to see some stats so i wanna collect some data!

the questions would most likely be about which diagnostic criteria you relate to, what comorbidities you have, etc.

would anyone be interested in doing these polls? i will share the results, and of course answers will be anonymous.

[epick-cluster-b-blog]

✦　˚BPD resources

All of the links below are either resources, research, and/or tips/help for people with BPD.

Found any outdated links, or any links that include misinformation? Please let me know!

✦ Resources/Miscellaneous

Basic info about BPD

(Book)  Stronger than BPD by Debbie Corso

What is splitting?

Positive BPD traits

The DBT Travel Guide app - Apple / Google Play

Ways to rephrase your sentences

Your disorder does not make you evil (positivity!)

(Podcast) How I saved my own life

✦ About BPD

The DSM-5 criteria for BPD

BPD glossary; Terms and more

Types of BPD

What is BPD?

What does FP (favourite person) mean?

What exactly is splitting?

Safety and Rapid attachment in BPD

Basics of BPD

Understanding Borderlines by @clusterrune

Help to soothe Paranoia found in BPD

✦ Recovery Resources

The Emotion wheel

Setting Boundaries

Getting through feelings of rage

Challenging irrational thoughts

If you feel like you're about to be unwanted or rejected

An AMAZING list of self-help strategies; The HELP method, types of therapy for BPD, identifying triggers, and more!

Steele's notes on BPD; symptoms, skills to improve, and more

About DBT; Guide and basics to learning about DBT

Early Morning Barking; A (very fun!) YouTube channel about a man named Rich who struggles with both BPD and NPD. He talks about personal experiences and tips.

TIPP; A method for when you struggle with overwhelming emotions and/or urges to self-injure

✦ BPD safe blogs/Informational Blogs

@bpd-culture-is

@bpdsafespace

@epick-cluster-b-blog

@a-sip-of-milo

@cluster-b-culture

@clusterb-besties

@clusterb-itch

Is this list missing something? Please let me know in the comments, or send an ask!

[epick-cluster-b-blog]

As someone suspecting HPD (Diagnoses w/ BPD)

I’m very happy my partners are so understanding. They ground me when I’m splitting or having an episode.

Their okay with the fact I require a bunch of attention

And they don’t put me down for how my brain has been wired over the years.

They don’t get mad at me for needing to be the center of attention and they don’t get mad when I am overreacting on something small.

This is a friendly reminder to everyone w/ Cluster B personality disorders

Healthy relationships can happen<3

You are going to be okay.

You are NOT a burden to anybody. -🌻🍋

i'm happy that you have supportive partners! thank you for this ask! /g

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I asked a friend who is a sociopath (diagnosed with ASPD, he refers to himself as a sociopath which is why I’m calling him that) what love feels like to him and how he knows when he loves someone.

I loved his answer. He said “Routine. If they are a part of my routine and feel familiar and comfortable and I would feel like something is missing if they weren’t there, then I think I love them.”

I have bpd with ASPD traits and I think his answer was so cute. I think that is what love is like for me too but I’ve never heard it so succinctly explained, perfect summarization.

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A lack of empathy is not a moral failing.

Some neurodivergent people feel low or no empathy towards other people. This is not an indication of moral bankruptcy or a sign someone is a bad person. You need to stop saying things like "Conservatives are evil because they just lack empathy.", or "The left is the party of empathy."

The word you are looking for is compassion.

Empathy is a feeling in which the suffering of others causes you to suffer to some extent.

Compassion is a conviction to do good for your fellow human beings because you feel their suffering should be alleviated.

The correct statement would be "Right-wing politics lack compassion." And the inverse "Leftist ideals are built on compassion."

We as leftists should not assume those incapable of feeling a certain emotion are incapable of acting with compassion, as that is deeply ableist.

The feeling of empathy can motivate compassion, but it is not required for a person to be compassionate. Those with low or no empathy can and do act with compassion. To care for others even in the absence of an instinctual pack-bonding drive to do so is truly revolutionary, and it should be recognized as such.

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why do so many people think being a narcissist is such a bad thing? yes I'm self absorbed, I spend literally all my time with myself, no shit. I love myself a lot, I think about myself a lot and I treat myself well, none of that means I harm people. narcissism isn't abusive in and of itself, even if it's disordered. it never was. I can be self absorbed and still care about people, they aren't mutually exclusive.

don't tell narcissists to have more empathy when you refuse to extend your empathy towards narcissists. we are people.

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video essayist my partner likes made a video on narcissism/npd will watch and update yall on how it goes🙏...

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having cluster b disorders is so painful and exhausting if you are alive with this shit you are so strong

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i have npd comorbid w/ bpd which changes it up a little bit, but i’ll still try to just talk about it from an npd perspective.

the core of narcissism for me is a lack of self-worth and intense fear of not being good enough. because of these fears, we overcompensate with grandiosity. it doesn’t feel good to have npd, i’ll tell you that much. there are “highs” where the grandiose delusions are at their worst, making me feel on top of the world and euphoric. but they lead to crashes because the grandeur gets shattered by reality, leaving me feeling crushed and worthless. my self-worth rides on me being special and superior in one way or another, because i simply cannot fathom being “worthy” or “good enough” while also just being average and normal.

i have the privilege of “covert” npd, meaning my symptoms are internalized and more difficult to see from an outsider’s perspective. thus, people treat me well. i mostly don’t tell anybody that i have npd and i try to mask it as much as humanly possible because i don’t want them to assume i’m a bad person. that’s because i’m really not! i treat people well, i am respectful despite lacking empathy and not caring sometimes, and my narcissism actually drives me to want to help other people. (the thought process is that since i’m superior, i am more fit to help than anyone else. it also gets me praise and good reputation and stuff.)

while the narcissism itself is disabling, the ableism makes it even worse. i genuinely feel fear when i tell people i have npd, even if i trust them. i know that some people genuinely do not distinguish “narcissist” from “abuser,” and i fear that my disorder would cause a false preconception of me. it’s also pretty ironic because npd means that usually your self esteem relies on others’ perception of you, yet people’s perception of narcissists is complete dogshit. so you can imagine how that impacts the self-esteem. to be indirectly dehumanized and verbally degraded constantly just… hurts.

as for understanding, i think you have the right approach. ask people WITH the disorder. there are some good subreddits for this too if you’re willing to go there. thanks for asking and i hope my response was helpful. :)

A genuine question for people with ASPD or/and NPD

People with ASPD (antisocial personality disorder) or/and NPD (narcissistic personality disorder), I am genuinely curious about what you believe is the core part of aspd and npd, and how you see the world. How does it feel to have these disorders? How do people treat you? How do you treat people? How can one understand how it must be like for you?

These disorders are VERY stigmatised. Even actual medical journals and sites perpetuate this stigmatisation, and there's this whole thing of "narcissistic abuse" or that all people with antisocial personality disorder are serial killers. I simply refuse to believe this, it's not nuanced enough, and I genuinely seek to understand. And maybe other people may find this thread of posts and also understand.

So people with npd/aspd, add on, explain anything you wish people knew about your disorder.

Coming from a fellow person with a highly stigmatised disorder (schizophrenia) who wishes to understand.

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friendly reminder that your friends with bpd, npd, hpd, dpd, avpd, other personality disorders, anxiety disorders, etc, actually need attention and support. it’s not just “being needy” or selfish, it’s necessary for their health, no matter how excessive it might seem.

there is nothing wrong with “being needy”. stop shaming people for needing attention and instead actually GIVE them positive attention.

some of us crave negative attention, but getting enough positive attention can help us avoid conflict instead.

this is also a reminder for people with bpd, npd, hpd, dpd, avpd, aspd, etc

positive attention is healthy. negative attention is (usually) not. try to focus more on support and healthy interactions. conflict brings stress and can lead to legal issues or even physical injury. try to avoid seeking it out if you have people around you who can provide positive attention.

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Seeing some stigmatizing stuff today? Worry not, for the imo creature eats stigma for breakfast. And lunch. And dinner. It’s surprisingly nourishing.