darkwing-ramblings

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Katniss is such an unreliable narrator. She says "Then something unexpected happens. At least, I don't expect it because I don't think of District 12 as a place that cares about me" girl you deliver strawberries to the Mayor, you hunt and trade for the district, when you fell at Prim being chosen someone caught you, when you went to Prim people parted for you, when you volunteered EVERYONE stopped. Idk how to tell you but I think you're a pillar of the community.

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I am, once again, begging people to stop doing Harrow and Runaan's uwuification. They are both adult men who made their own choices and paid their own prices for it (imprisonment in coins/birds)

I am also, once again, begging for everyone to stop trying to pin the blame on Ez and/or Rayla for what happened in episode 2. Ezran and Rayla are not bad people for continuing to love, defend, and seek justice for their fathers. They aren't bad people or friends for being traumatized kids and responding to the resurrection of their trauma in less than becoming ways. Ezran just lost his home, Rayla just lost her parents. Ezran wanted justice for Harrow, Rayla wanted freedom for Runaan. Neither are wrong for that, or for acting badly when being able to fulfilling their desires was threatened

Runaan killed Harrow, because Harrow killed Avizandum, because Avizandum killed Sarai.

What happened between them in episode 2 was never about Rayla or Ezran, they were just dragged born into it

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"why is ezran only blaming runaan and not zubeia"

because zubeia gave the order when she thought her baby was dead and runaan followed through even when he knew her baby wasn't. because runaan actually committed the murder even when others (like rayla) defected and campaigned to save harrow instead. because ezran has had two years to get to know zym and zubeia first hand. because like him with his father, zubeia was grieving and ezran has always known this; runaan was likely grieving (possibly lain and tiadrin) but why would ezran know this. because zubeia changed her mind and he knows she regrets it. because an actively grieving 12 year old isn't going to be 100% fair and rational, nor does he need to be, nor is him being mad at runaan and just runaan irrational either. why would i expect it to be the same anger towards both of them because the situations and relationships are entirely different in their own way?

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what do you have against Poseidon? /gen - asking as a fan of seafam. he wanted to keep Percy and help him avoid his fate, but Sally said no for immortality to both of them so Poseidon respected that and stayed away to not draw Zeus and Hades' attention (bc they would kill Percy).

and after everything's revealed, Poseidon actually does as much as he can for Percy while obeying the no-interference laws? actually no - he breaks them a few times to help Percy. Like by mortal standards I know he's neglectful but by godly standards he's literally the best in pjo?

unless your referring to cotg poseidon which in that case - hate away. cotg poseidon is the worst and feels incredible fake/performative.

love your headcanon posts BTW!! those are some of the best takes I've seen. especially since you dont shy away from the more angsty topics like gabe and the suicidal thoughts.

Okay, so i promise i have many many reasons for this so this might be a bit scattered around so bare with me :))

In the books, we only see him interact with Percy a few times—which is much more than any other godly parent, i’m not denying that—but mainly (practically only) in the first series, before the war and before Percy has to choose between Kronos and Olympus.

So, how much of that do you think was Poseidon being a “good godly parent” and how much of it was Poseidon trying to make his son feel loved so that Percy didn’t turn on the gods. Because after Percy’s 16th birthday, Poseidon basically completely disappears from Percy’s life and when they do interact in say CotG, Poseidon is much more “godly” than he was when he was interacting with Percy in earlier books. He doesn’t try nearly as hard to make Percy feel heard or loved. He acts like every other god Percy has come into contact with.

The idea that Poseidon was just trying to manipulate Percy into choosing the gods’ side would also explain how Poseidon was able to contact Percy so easily without Zeus or the other gods throwing a hissy fit. They all knew that they needed Percy to like them, or at least they needed Percy to feel like they (Poseidon) cared about him.

Again, Poseidon stops interacting with Percy after the Battle of Manhattan. We do not see him at all throughout Heroes of Olympus (except for the final battle, when they fight together. However, they don’t talk after that and Percy is still just a weapon in that scenario. There is no father-son bonding in that scene at all.) I mean, i give him some grace during that time bc he was like tore between Neptune and Poseidon so that kinda makes sense but, with how much he was “present” in the earlier books, it was kinda weird that Percy had ZERO contact with him (if we’re going under the impression that Poseidon actually cared.)

Then, we see him in CotG and he is not like the Poseidon that Percy met in the earlier PJO books. He treats Percy like every other god does; like a weapon. And when he sees Percy in CotG, it’s not to check in and see how he is doing, it’s to give him more quests. It’s to remind him that he will never be anything more than a weapon. It could have just as well been Apollo (well actually not really bc Apollo was kinda all mortal-y at that time so never mind) or Hermes giving him the news and nobody would bat an eye. The Olympians could’ve even planned for Poseidon to be the one to give Percy the information about the quests because they thought it might lighten the blow, or Percy would have the chance of being more calm. It was probably all a manipulation tactic.

Also, i’m still kinda annoyed at Poseidon for him calling Percy a “wrongdoing” and an “unforgivable mistake.” Like i know that might not have been exactly what he meant to say, but he’s literally a thousand year old god. What do you mean you don’t know how to eloquently talk to a child? I feel like that’s just him being lazy. There is NO WAY that a thousand year old being doesn’t know how to put what he means to say into words. I can do that and i’m literally 14. Poseidon saying that and people using the excuse “well he didn’t mean it that way” is giving weaponized incompetence.

And, coming from someone who grew up with a manipulative parental figure, half the “compliments” and praise Percy gets from Poseidon feels very much like…well, love-bombing might be the right word for it? It feels fake and like he’s just trying to make sure Percy isn’t starting to feel bitter toward the gods. Or like he’s trying to distract Percy from the way the gods are manipulating him by showering him with gifts and advice and whatnot. But none of it actually feels real.

The books with Percys interactions with Poseidon are also completely from Percy’s pov, meaning that it’s an unreliable narrative. Percy desperately needs a good relationship with Poseidon because he needs a father figure in his life. There’s a very good chance that the interactions with Poseidon are much worse than what Percy says because he perceives them differently. He makes himself believe that Poseidon is being genuine and that he actually loves Percy because Percy knows he wouldn’t be able to take it if all of it was fake. He knows he wouldn’t be able to handle another person leaving him.

Overall, Poseidon was a manipulative god. He never really saw Percy as his son, he saw him as a weapon, just like all the other gods did. He manipulated Percy to prevent him from becoming bitter toward the gods before his 16th birthday. Paul Blofis is wayyyy better than Poseidon ANY DAY.

Paul>>>>

(also i don’t have time to proofread this so if anything looks weird that’s why)

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I misread someone’s “I don’t own the Silmarillion” disclaimer as “I don’t own the Silmarils” and legit my only thought was a heartfelt “good” as though the Silmarils are a real thing and all of us are in constant danger of being murdered by the Sons of Fëanor if we don’t tell everyone on the internet we don’t own them

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😱🙀😱🙀 Noooooooo!!! Don't say that @twowigglyworms ! The Lord of the Rings has no reboot! The Lord of the Rings needs no reboot! Say it is not so! Such a prophecy ought never to come to pass!

... at least make it another The Hobbit one first that's nicer to Thranduil than the live action movies, that way any flaws can be opposed and balanced by what the live action The Hobbit movies did right and not utterly change public perception of the book entirely for the worse

... I would say surely they can pick a story from somewhere else in the legendarium.. but uhhh I am sadly aware of Rings of Power so am under no illusions it'd be preferable necessarily

I had a dream they decided to reboot lord of the rings and timothee charmander was frodo. How long before this turns out to have been a prophecy?

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I have it.

The most convoluted, hilarious tracksuit imaginable.

Lucius Malfoy x Vernon Dursley.

presumably you meant crackship. and clearly this is a match made in heaven. they immediately bond over their mutual hatred of harry potter and desire to never hear about him again. and it's several months into their relationship before they realize that all their conversations about how "the wrong sort" really ought to be dealt with by whatever means necessary - the harsher the better - were in fact about very different groups of people.

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rewatching the mighty nein and rewitnessing their amount of paranoia is so good. they walk into a 5 star hotel after a battle with the followers of the god of death and a total of 10 hit points and 3 spell slots between all of them and they're still casing their rooms. uv lights out, flipping beds and checking smoke detectors for cameras. they insight check every person they meet. they want to cast a truth spell on the oldest, most powerful and crustiest wizard in all of exandria. theyd rather impale themselves instead of giving up their weapons. theyd rather send a cat with 2 hit points that's determined to roll nat 1s on its perception rolls to check out evil lairs rather than going in themselves. they hate people scrying on them but they get annoyed when they fail doing it to others. they lie to most people they meet yet they're still 'trusted' by the two out of the three great powers on wildemount. no one's doing it like them.

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@iamnmbr3 it sure does get better every year to culminate in that!

Walburga: So, Alphard. How's your imaginary boyfriend?

Alphard: For the last time he's not imaginary.

Walburga: Oh really? And what's the reason that he can't come to Christmas dinner this time? I can't wait. Each year is better than the last.

Alphard: ...

Alphard: He ah... He hasn't got a corporeal form at the moment.

Walburga: ...

Alphard: ...

Alphard: It's really not what it looks like.

Walburga: I'm sure.

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Actual things that happen in the 1897 Dracula novel, without context:

A character has ominous nightmares and attributes them to eating too much paprika

Dracula first appears wearing a fake beard

The person he was trying to fool with the fake beard immediately realizes Dracula and Beard Guy are the same man, due to both having really firm handshakes

We are told parrots are immortal unless fatally wounded

A Texan cowboy opens fire on a bat flitting around a window, and lodges a bullet in the wall of an occupied room

A woman is called a polyandrist for receiving blood transfusions from multiple men

An incorrectly addressed telegram leads to two deaths, multiple druggings, and several children being assaulted

Dracula, while trying to maintain a low profile, takes a lovely trip to the zoo and freaks out the animals so badly that he gets mentioned in a newspaper article

The one character who knows anything about vampires spends a good two-thirds of the book refusing to talk about vampires

Dracula went to Satan's Witchcraft Academy and somehow this is only brought up in two throwaway lines

A character gets stuck inside a circle of communion wafer crumbs

A major plot point of the book is Dracula (who was said to be a brilliant scholar and has the strength of twenty mortal men) realizing he can move boxes without human help

Someone is referred to as "manifestly a prig of the first water"

Two characters have a hobby of reading train schedules

A hospital lets a mental patient escape to see what will happen

A character starts vomiting up feathers from eating whole birds

A doctor refuses to give a medical diagnosis and instead makes a speech about growing corn

Dracula impersonates another character just by wearing the same clothes, despite being taller and visibly much older. This deception is successful.

A character "cleans" a room by eating all the insects in it

Suddenly: rats. Thousands of them.

The heroes progress in their efforts through "the wonderful power of money," i.e., bribery

Dracula has three other vampires in his castle. Their relation to him is never explained, nor are any of them named.

A character insists his salvation depends on having a pet cat

Dracula is thwarted by flowers on more than one occasion

A group of vampires stand in the hall outside a man's bedroom, talking loudly about their plans to eat him. When he comes to the door to confront them, they run away laughing

Dracula wears an unfashionable hat and gets roasted for it

A group of Romanians encounter a disheveled, shouting man and, "seeing from his violent demeanour that he was English, they [give] him a ticket for the furthest station on the way thither that the train reached."

A boat crashes due to Dracula having the munchies

A wolf is thrown through a window and immediately runs off, confused and covered in glass

Dracula makes a bed

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Harrow finding out about Ezran and Aanya's nuclear deterrence plan like "yeah okay that 110% sounds like a plan Viren would have come up with, so let's maybe have a little talk about not doing that"

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The first fight with Drolta in Paris he had Drolta attempting to stab him gave Alucard the opportunity to dodge the attack by turning into a swarm of bats and I can appreciate the choreography of that at least, avoiding a stab wound by moving into a cloud of beasties leaving air where your vitals previously were is just cool. 10/10 dodge, it absolutely made Drolta’s attack absolutely okay with me granting that opportunity. I don’t know the conditions of Alucard transforming that way or teleporting but figure him dodging both of those ways (in addition flight and just standard being fast dodging and occasional parrying) is why the times she went to stab him afterwards it was notably whilst he was knocked to the ground first.

you know drolta is a good character because she stabbed my good friend alucard and i was ok with it

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@eri-pl exactly, he can't be the author: as a result he's instead the target to beat by outshining! Therefore it pictures him as someone (the government) with knowledge other people to know that's holding it back!

Is competitiveness of pretty hairstyles among the elves of Nargothrond something Finrod can't compete in? I'm sure he gave them/the basics to the edain given they needed a helping hand to catch up with elves enough to innovate their own way forth past that point but among other elves one (or ten) particular ways of putting up nice bejewelled hairpins he dragged across the Helcaraxe surely he's allowed to keep to himself for the edge among his peers!

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[Tulkas] has little heed for either the past or the future, and is of no avail as a counsellor, but is a hardy friend.

Another description I love. "Yeah, Tulkas is a big dumbass with a negative attention span, but he's friend-shaped and we love him." <3

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Elrond and Haldir! They have to have fascinating thoughts on birdlife in middle earth, not to mention knowledge of plants! Plus Elrond is spoken of glowingly as a host and haldir I found charmingly earnest when reading the books! Ecology from an immortal perspective sounds grand. Also I'm always fascinated by Rivendell and Lothlorien.

Sam and Frodo sounded interesting too and possibly a tad more approachable but there's just less opportunity in life to talk to immortals so I must pass on their company, also I don't do partying like hobbits do which is a significant consideration.

Legolas and Gimli would have neat things to talk of I'm sure but I cannot match Gimli's poetry and dwarven secrecy with less known people is a thing etc. Not to mention Legolas is a bit hard to understand talking about trees to those around him in the books even if trees are great. So it doesn't sound unpleasant but also doesn't sound like how I'd want to spend my birthday.

Aragorn and Arwen I only briefly considered as I don't think I'd have much to actually say? Aragorn must have bird thoughts and Arwen must have some kind of craft etc I'd want to actually hear about in terms of what she's up to as the books limit our knowledge there... but those reasons are less compelling for selecting them as birthday company.

Eowyn and Eomer I just don't know enough about horses about to feel I could enjoy conversations with without feeling woefully underprepared (plus my memory in conversations just won't compare to theirs from a primarily oral culture so... I'm passing).

Merry and Pippin are great but I don't think I could match their energy when it comes birthday celebration potential (I am still not a hobbit or very outgoing).

I don't think I'd stand a chance getting a word in edgewise if Bilbo and Gandalf were talking and I'm not that keen on fireworks so not them even if they surely have the ability to just talk and keep going. They're also renowned for not giving straight answers and having a sense of humour- cryptic humour that's a little clever to unravel is not something I understand easily.

Galadriel makes intense eye contact and Celeborn appears rather disinterested in mortals on the whole so that's absolutely not worth it. Sounds like an uncomfortable time at least in part.

Boromir and Faramir tempted me because Boromir's notable lack of marriage pleases me as common ground and Faramir's own taking it slow on relationship levels is neat. Their company allowing for learning about Gondor as a place sounds fascinating! It'd be neat actually getting to see them in one place while alive and interacting too. But still sounds like a little bit of an awkward time given my own conversational tendencies.

Saruman and Grima sound like horrible company and I would, reasonably I think, fear for my wellbeing if I someone registered as more than a random nobody to them. Absolutely not, thank you, it would be a horrible birthday. There are points in the timeline they were probably (?) decent company but... just no, particularly the implied at once duo timings of either sabotaging rohan or, you know, scouring the shire...

in honour of turning 22 today i of course have to make it about lord of the rings

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Elrond: Let's maybe not swear a binding oath to keep jewelry away from an Ainu at all cost. Let's maybe. Let's maybe just like, pinky promise to do our best. Trust me on this, you don't want to swear any oaths