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I'll be filming my Coffee Chit-Chat video for YouTube today. I'll also be publishing it on the same day. Stay tuned for a new video. Because I've had a crazy couple of days, I really needed to prioritise some things, but I'm definitely keen to Coffee Chit-Chat. I didn't do a video on the 25th of Oct, so I don't want to miss too many in a row. I won't be giving away any hints of my video today, but on this social, I'll post the link. Probably by 9 or 10.00 PM Sydney time. Susannah-Mariee 🦋

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For the full post, visit the link. Would love some ideas for my next Coffee Chit-Chat video!!

Xo, Susannah-Mariee from Always Angelic Aspie Alice 🦋

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My natural eye-lid colour was part of this look.

Please see my Instagram- Razzle Dazzle Always Alice for all the photos!

Xo, Susannah-Mariee from Always Angelic Aspie Alice 🦋

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Cozy Break ☕️

Friday Feels

I'm wrapping up the week with a confessional coffee chit-chat (watch now via YouTube)!

And then... I'm disappearing into the weekend.

No social media, just relaxation and rejuvenation.

See you Monday, sparkling souls!

Susannah from Always Angelic Aspie Alice 🦋

#DifferentNotLess #AlwaysAngelicAspieAlice #CoffeeLover #MentalHealthAwareness #WeekendVibes #SelfLoveJourney

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< When I HAVE to talk to someone >

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Wish I had this kind of representation growing up

Summer Berry Mix 🍓🫐 ♡⊹˚₊

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Heads up, lovelies! This fairy's wings are fluttering away from social media for a spell! As of 6 pm on Friday, I'm trading screens for sunsets, words for wanderlust, and likes for library dates.

Time to recharge amidst pages, paints, and piano melodies. Join me in spirit, darling, and indulge in your own whimsical pursuits! 📚

Xo,

Susannah from Always Angelic Aspie Alice 🦋

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Fantastic Friday Update: Embracing Imperfection and Celebrating Progress ✨️

Hey everyone!

Welcome to my Fantastic Friday Update, where I share my thoughts, feelings, and lessons learned from the week. I might make this a regular blog post every day, or this post might just be a once-off.

But today, I want to talk about embracing our unique imperfections and celebrating the sparkly moments that make life special.

Self-Care and Me-Time 🧋

This week, I made time for the things that bring me joy:

- Getting lost in lovely books (currently reading Happy Place by Emily Henry and Deep South by Paul Theroux)

- Writing short stories that glimmer with possibility

- Cosying up with Netflix and a warm cuppa (loving Nescafe Instant Coffee Blend 43 and Twinings English Breakfast Tea)

These moments helped me recharge and find hope in the midst of chaos.

Embracing Our Quirks 🌈

I've been thinking a lot about the importance of embracing our individuality. We're all unique, special, and sparkly in our own ways. Let's celebrate our differences and reject the pressure to conform.

Achievements and Progress 💗

This week, I achieved small goals, such as:

• going to my careers counselling appointment on Monday

• using Finch every day to help with my self-care goals

• practicing German every day with Duolingo

• list any more here if there are others I'm proud of, a maximum of five

I'm proud of myself for taking steps towards my goals and overcoming obstacles.

Lessons Learned 🗝

One key lesson I learned this week is that progress is not always linear. Some days, I felt motivated and productive, while others were challenging. But that's okay. It's essential to acknowledge and accept our fluctuations.

Gratitude ❤️

Even though I struggle with the concept of gratitude, I'm grateful for:

- Lovely loved ones who support me

- Inspiring books, podcasts and videos that fill me with hope (listening to Mamamia Out Loud on Podbean and Kati Morton on YouTube)

- Opportunities for growth and learning

Exciting News! 🦋

Get ready for our upcoming podcast episode!

Season 5, Episode 7: "R U OK?" will be released this Sunday!

In this episode, we'll dive into mental health, self-care, and the importance of checking in with ourselves and others.

Listen to the latest episodes on our Podbean account: https://alwaysangelicaspiealice.podbean.com/e/s5e6wakeme-up-when-september-ends-%e2%80%a2-with-george%e2%80%a2-the-mentalhealth-%f0%9f%a9-pas-depauxnavigating-life-schallengeswithstrengthin-ad/

Subscribe to stay updated and join the conversation!

Wrapping Up 🫶

Remember, you are unique, special, and sparkly just the way you are. Hold onto hope, and know that you're not alone.

Stay lovely, and I'll catch you in the next post!

Kind regards, Susannah from Always Angelic Aspie Alice 🦋

[Credits: photo of sticker courtesy of Always Angelic Aspie Alice at Kensington, Sydney]

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Isn't it lovely when I mature through time and space?

“as you get older, you realize that you’re not always right and there’s so many things you could’ve handled better, so many situations where you could’ve been kinder and all you can really do is forgive yourself and let your mistakes make you a better person.”

— Unknown

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When I dream at night, I want them to play out like this: romantic, perfect, eternal, beautiful, magical, with just a touch of reality.

Too bad I don't live my life like I live my dreams. At least, I can see ballets in real life.

Late last year, I saw The Sleeping Beauty by the Victorian Ballet Company. It. Was. Amazing.

I'm still into ballet-core, TBH. Just not as heavy-handed as I was late year with it. I had an Instagram about it and everything.

Now, I'm essentially less ballet-core, but more me?

I suppose I still love aesthetics. But they are not my whole identity, being, soul, personality, life, lifestyle. Aesthetics are only part of my life. They are an expression, but they are not the total sum of my life.

Still, I look forward to when I can wear my I Love Billie satin light pink ballet slipper-inspired shoes out again. They surprisingly don't go with everything.

Yet, I long to dance again. To feel. To move. I was going to re-start dancing earlier in the year. But due to a massive flare-up upon a flare-up, I had no choice but to watch and consume dance instead.

Some-time, it will be real. For real. For me. Some-time, I will be allowed the freedom, the gift, and the opportunity to dance again. Even if it's just a beginner class. I don't care. I need it.

Midsummer Nights Dream, New York City Ballet Production

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TW/CW: anxiety, depression, ED, Girl Interrupted Syndrome, confessional (and the like, I'm not great at making warnings. Read at your own risk, although a lot of my writing is positive because I know thyself).

My sense of reality is different from what it used to be. Now, I have chronic-health issues and autism-neurodivergent specific issues that guide my decisions. Everything is constantly hard and emotionally draining and physically exhausting to the point where I need time off socials on the weekends and where it is not uncommon if I have a day-time sleep in the middle of the day, or late afternoon.

I feel like I'm in my Girl Interrupted Era. I'm trying so hard to be good and on the right path, but sometimes my bad habits get in the way. I'm trying to make good choices, but sometimes decisions aren't good or bad, you know?

Sometimes, I'm just learning to survive and surviving in a world not build for me. I don't care anymore about what people say to me or what society expects, such as I should be working a full-time job. I don't care that I don't drive right now, or that I don't have many real-life friends because some friend-ships are broken brookes and bridges need not to be burnt down, but just avoided altogether.

I am certainly not perfect, but I don't want to be. I don't care about being a size zero or a size eight. I don't care that my boobs are small in comparison to those who have their boobs done. Or that my lips are not so aggressively plump like Kylie Jenner or Angelina Jolie. Yes, some say that I have fine features, like high cheekbones, full lips, green eyes, and thick eyebrows. But at the end of the day, I'm finding that while my looks may get me some places, such as likes on social media, it doesn't lead to a job. My appearance hadn't always been advantageous to me.

I don't care too much now about what I look, although social media, including Tumblr, has a lot of white, skinny, sometimes ED looking girls in ethereal back-drops and a young Courtney Love vibe. But I'm not trying to be that. I'm trying to just be myself.

I know that social media is still full of a lot of triggering things such as very skinny girls. But when I do re-share, I make an effort to say how I relate to it, and I try not to glamourise ill mental-health, ED, or now there's something called Girl Interrupted Syndrome. I just don't get influenced anymore in negative ways in the social media context because I'm older, I'm wiser, I know myself more, and I know what's good for me. I'm not 14 or 15 or 19 anymore.

But, I'm on social media to feel connected, to fill up the void in my life where my other friends besides the ones I already have would be present. I'm not lonely, I just like to be in the company of others who are also on-line or were on-line recently. I have off-line friends, one or two really good ones. But what I've found is that my sense of reality may be different. My life is now so different from who it used to be.

But I'm empowered, I'm strong, I'm emotional, I'm free, I'm free, I'm vulnerable, I'm magical, and most of all I've learnt how to dance in the dark, to make peace with my demons, to consume the light and the dark, and to know that both the lightness and the darkness within the crevices in my soul, in my heart are my life's biggest teachers.

Without the darkness, I would not appreciate the light. Without the devils, I would not appreciate the insanity, the delight, the power, the wisdom that comes with the knowledge of holding the hand of Mr. Darkness.

- Susannah 🦋

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Yes, self-sabotaging is something I'm so great at. It's easy for me to push people away because I don't need their help, their company, or their energy. But, sometimes, I do need help, so I shouldn't be pushing people away. I'm getting 5% better at getting help, whether it be emotional, personal, or other issues. But I've got to work on myself and not be ashamed of getting help. Maybe it's self-pride, stubbornness, or the delusion that I'm fine. But, I'm my own villain, my enemy. If I want things to change, then I need to change myself. Slowly. I know that going to therapy works. And my peer groups. End of rant/though process this morning (I need more coffee to wake up).

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I blame the melancholic autism in my brain. But at the same time, it is nice not to conform to the standards of societal and familial life, so I can just be. And sometimes, yes, I do not think a lot out loud. But a lot of the thinking I do is on the inside. It is purely okay for me to communicate and express how I want to. Even though there are times when I get major rejection and people do not want to engage with my augmentative assistance technology. Or they judge me for not really talking for three days or more, when sometimes all I honestly need is a break. And some space, peace, and some quiet to truly find myself again. And to just feel a simple yet complicated glow of euphoric warmth that is my calm against the storm. You know?

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i was not born to have a full time employment, i'm angelic, and tortured, and was brought onto earth to be a muse

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If you struggle with substance abuse but not addiction, you still deserve support. If you struggle with suicidality/self harm urges but don't act on it, you still deserve support. If you struggle with psychosis and paranoia but have insight, you still deserve support. If you struggle with anything but are "coping with it," you still deserve support.

You dont need to be in imminent crisis to get help - safety planning, harm reduction, resources, and accommodations. You're still struggling. You're still suffering, You're still at risk/in danger. You deserve better - you need better. Your health and wellbeing matters.