addictedtomyowninsanity

[addictedtomyowninsanity]

The only vacations I get are trips to county for trying to drive across town at 3am for some dirtybutslut cause she is broke down. Hello officer. ....

[addictedtomyowninsanity]

My biggest fear In life has become realized. life has a funny way of doing that. What you stress you manifest.

[addictedtomyowninsanity]

“It’s time to distance yourself from the people who let you down, the inconsistent ones.”

— Billy Chapata (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

[addictedtomyowninsanity]

“It’s time to distance yourself from the people who let you down, the inconsistent ones.”

— Billy Chapata (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

[addictedtomyowninsanity]

I just want you to know that i love you

[addictedtomyowninsanity]

“The successful continuance of how I act and who I am depend on prayer~”

— E. M. Bounds

[addictedtomyowninsanity]

“Great things are done by a series of small things brought together~”

—

Vincent Van Gogh

[addictedtomyowninsanity]

“Find out who you are and then be that on purpose~”

—

Dolly Parton

[addictedtomyowninsanity]

This was a wonderful woman. A mother, friend, caring passerby, daughter, and all around light in a dark world. Taken . Taken by dope. Another soul collected for heaven by the hell that is addiction . R.I.P. Lil Samiy. My world is forever darkened by your absence.

[addictedtomyowninsanity]

[addictedtomyowninsanity]

MADE MY DAY

💛🧡💚

I love this so much

💚🧡💛

[addictedtomyowninsanity]

Am I the only one....6/24/14

I used to think to my self am I the only one?

Am I the only one who is lonely?

Am I the only one who is scared?

Am I the only one who is tired?

Am I the only one who is hungry?

Am I the only one who can’t pay his rent?

Am I the only one who puts his family through this?

Am I the only one who buys drugs every time he has an extra $20?

Am I the only one that wants to  quit so bad but can’t?

Am I the only one out here spinning in circles?

Am I the only one who feels worthless?

Am I the only one who thinks suicide will be better for my family?

NO.  I am not. YOU ARE NOT People are suffering, scared, tired, lonely and lost in a pit of despair that feels like it is so deep, and so dark that you can’t see your nose or the light at the top. That there is no help for me I might as well not try.  I’m not worth it. 

Then one day I realized that:

I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN CHANGE THAT. 

Suddenly the darkness faded the light began to appear.  Funny thing about darkness is that it only needs light to chase it away.  Find your light.  Shine bright!! You can  BE MORE than what you are if you want it.

[addictedtomyowninsanity]

April 25th 2019 To my kids

I hate that I have to write you on here but one day you will see it. You will know that I didn't give up. I'm drug free. I've caused alot of pain but I'm on the right path. I'm working everyday to be the dad you need me to be. You will always be my children and when I'm able to I will be ready, responsible, and prepared to be what you need. Present. I can't do that now for alot of reasons you won't understand until you are older. Just know that I love you, I have always loved you even when i didn't act like it. Even when I was being a bad father. I never stopped loving you . I just had to learn how to live life on life's terms without the help of a chemical to get through the day. Every day I think of you and I will always always love you.

Dad

[addictedtomyowninsanity]

If it feels wrong (even if just a little bit), it is wrong. If if takes away your peace (even if just a little bit), get away from it. 

You may get nostalgia from time to time for your old life, but remember what brought you to recovery: you weren’t happy.

I prefer the peace and quiet of today to the loud misery I convinced myself I loved in the past. So I’m gonna do my best, day after day, to stay on it. 

[addictedtomyowninsanity]

[addictedtomyowninsanity]

There is no time like the present. LET TODAY BE THE DAY YOU START. WHATEVER IT IS. God's grace is yours for the taking. He offers it free to each and every one of us. Day 31. Lets do this!

[addictedtomyowninsanity]

30 Days

I am amazed and thankful today. 30 days. 30 days without any drugs. Wow. I never thought it possible. I woke up and said I'm done and I did it. No rehab. No special medication. Just good old fashioned over the dumb shit. In 30 days I have restored contact with my family. Bought a car, made ammends to many people and have found self worth. I'm not there yet or anything like that. My pink cloud comes and goes. I just wanted to share with those who follow me and have read my blog that it has been a struggle for me. Emotionally, mentally, even physically. I couldn't stand to be alone. I was always depressed. I give thanks to God for strength and peace. Only through my faith do I feel it possible. If your suffering Hold On Pain Ends. H.O.P.E. I heard that in a meeting once and man did it stick . Make a meeting they help. Get some sober friends. Something. Do something different. If nothing changes then Nothing changes. I'm here for you If you need to chat. Only by grace am I clean today and only by grace will I wake up tomorrow.