#incorrect batfamily quotes

[incorrectbatfam]

Tim: Jason, what’s your plan for dealing with this?

Jason: Well, Plan A is what I call "Operation Ignore It and Hope It Goes Away".

Tim: That’s it? What the heck is Plan B?

Jason: Plan B is to keep trying Plan A.

[theaceofarrows]

[Nightwing and Robin Jason showing up to a GCPD crime scene]

Robin: Okay, everybody stand back. The professionals are here

Nightwing: Robin, be nice. They're just doing their job

Robin: If they're doing their job, then why are we here?

Nightwing: ...

GCPD: ...

[dickgraysonmybeloved]

Jason, knocking against table on the way up: If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back. Dick, offended: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.

[thedevilundercover]

The bat kids should threaten to get adopted by Tim every time Bruce is being a dickhead or just an inconvenience in anyway shape or form. Tim is paranoid enough to have his foster license and probably overthinks it enough to have Gotham CPS under his control. (Some people are bribing the cops while this man is bribing CPS smh.)

And like when Bruce over steps, they’re like “ok then, Tim’s my new dad now. “ Then they go camp out at Tim’s place for a while.

Usually the younger ones (+Cass) do this but it’s even more hilarious when Dick and Jason catch on to this. I think that Jason would do it first tho

Like imagine if Bruce refused to give Jason money for ammo or smth:

Bruce, literally so tired bc of this: Jaylad, for the last time, I’m not giving you money to buy real bullets. I'd be happy to buy you the rubber ones.

Jason, the most extra, dramatic younger-sibling-turned-older-sibling: Ok then, I get it, you don’t love me anymore. I can take a hint. You know what? I’ll do you a favour and get myself adopted by Tim *cue fake sniffles and dramatic exit*

Bruce, so so tired this has happened like twenty times this week already and it’s Wednesday: Oh my god why does he keep stealing my kids what the fuck

Tim also has no concept of money so he just shrugs, hands them his black amex and lets them do whatever the fuck they want

[incorrectgothamcity]

Damian: What is love? Jason: An emotional minefield. Tim: A neurochemical reaction. Dick: Baby don't hurt me.

[ahfrickenfrick]

tim: you can’t just kick me!

jason: i did not kick you 🙄 i merely encouraged you in the right direction with my foot

[goodoldfashionedengineer]

Tim: What are you guys' favorite cereals?

Damian: Cocoa Puffs

Tim: Good answer, good answer

Jason: Frosties

Dick: *turns to Jason* That is such a basic answer

Jason: So what?! They're good! Let me guess, yours is like Fruit Loops, the Tropical Edition or something!

Dick: No, who do you think I am?! Mine is obviously the "Super Crunch" Edition from 2005

Tim: The Superman cereal? The one that had wildberry, cherry AND cinnamon all in one box?

Damian: I doubt that those are still safe for consumption, Richard

Jason: You were asked to name your favourite cereal and you go ahead and are like "Oh, I like the Ford Bronco produced in 1993! Yes, it has to be from 1993 because the other ones suck actually!" Be a fucking person, Dick!

[gothamundernightlight]

Incorrect Batfam Quotes

Bruce: I hope one of you has a good explanation for this!

Bruce: *points to the Batmobile, which is on fire and upside down

Dick: We have three, actually!

Jason: Yeah, you just have to pick your favorite!

[adeptune01]

Dick: What’re you doing, Damian?

Damian: Practicing for a fire. Ace is my best friend so I want to make sure he gets out first.

Jason: I don’t know what’s more troubling. The fact that a dog is his best friend or that he’d let the rest of us burn in our beds.

[shipsdoishipidk]

Breaking the fourth wall Titans: *teasing* Hey, Dick. We miss you. Why'd you have to go and run off to college? Dick: I went off to college because the creators of this world thought Batman and I were too gay. Titans: what. Dick: what.

[its-just-xan]

Tim: Do you know how statistically someone my age could die?

Damian: At the hands of your brother.

Tim: An accident!

Damian: That’s what I’ll make it look like.

[incorrectbatfam]

I love your blog, also can I have Dick Grayson annoying his siblings pls?

Duke: *checks the traffic*

Duke: Damn, forty-five minutes to school?

Dick: You think that's bad? Back in my day, I had to trapeze uphill in the snow both ways.

———————

Tim: *on the phone*

Dick: *sitting next to him eating loudly*

Tim: Can you not?

Dick: *smack* Lemme think. *smack* No.

———————

Dick: *knocks a vase over*

Cass: Ooooh.

Dick: Alfred, Cass broke the vase!

———————

Steph: *eating*

Dick, across the table: Can I try some?

Steph: No.

Dick: *ties a fork to his grapple*

———————

Damian: *painting while drinking tea*

Dick: *swaps the cups*

Damian: *takes a sip*

Damian, sputtering: GRAYSON!

———————

[Jason's safehouse]

Jason: *cooking*

Dick: *perched outside the window*

Jason: No, you can't have any.

Dick: *presses his face against the glass*

Jason: Go away.

Dick: *rubs fingerprints all over*

Jason: *closes the curtains*

[mylitlekitten]

*based on an actual conversation I had with @the-lights-are-loud*

Jason: If I get thrown in jail for stabbing someone with a fork. Wait a day before bailing me out. I'll probably be enjoying the time away from people.

Dick: I'll drop off a book for you when I find out, then I'll spend the rest of the day gathering your bail.

Jason: Great. It'll be like a vacation

[incorrectgotham]

Jason: It's nice to be wanted, you know?

Bruce: Not by the law!

[unidentifiedgothamite]

dick: little wing, i think you came back wrong

jason: the hell are you on about, dickie?

dick, standing on his tippy toes and gesturing towards jason's head: you came back taller than me!

jason, baffled: you think just 'cause i'm taller, there must be something wrong with me?

dick, pouting: it hurts my pride as the oldest, okay?!

[incorrectgothamcity]

Alfred: Bruce ... Bruce : Oh no, 'Bruce ' in B flat. Bruce : You're disappointed.