#batman

[reebmiester]

tiny damian has a LOT to live up to

[skipppppy]

I’m not a comics expert by any means but I think that superheroes would be way less famous if they existed in the real world. Like irl, a lot of cities have local celebrities that are inside jokes for the people who live there. And between there only being 1 or 2 vigilantes in a huge city and the press not having great access to them I just can’t imagine them being any more famous than a citywide meme.

Like imagine you go to Gotham or some shit and this big fuckoff man in a black cloak and mask wooshes right past you while you’re in line for a burrito and you tweet about it and you get like 5 quotes being like “lmfao tourists don’t even know about batman anymore” like. The bat?? man??? And he’s just some guy that runs around assaulting criminals??? Or you visit your friend in NYC and see some wierdo in a red and blue gimp suit eating a hotdog and no one bats an eye and you’re like “do you think that guy is okay no judgement but like what is up with him” and they’re like “omg wait did I forget to tell you about spiderman?” And you can’t tell if this is just a New York thing or if you are actually losing your mind. Like can you imagine

[frownyalfred]

Nightwing is objectively terrifying on his own, but the fact that he has escrima sticks that can electrocute you? Like, escrima sticks Bruce probably rigged with the power of a small planet because he doesn’t know how to express parental affection? And Nightwing is just slinging those around with a big, dopey smile?

The sound of those lighting up must be dread-inducing.

[qweenofurheart]

revamped some sketches!!

[spicy-apple-pie]

Uh oh...

Prev / Index

Commission Info / Kofi

[im-not-the-best-person]

Say no to this, Bruce.

A few days ago Bruce had a fight with his sons, now he doesn't even remember why, it was probably something stupid that escalated and he didn't know how to stop it, it was probably his fault.

He was alone at the mansion, Damian was at Dick's house, Jason was ignoring him more than usual and Tim was on a case where he didn't want help, not from him at least, even Duke was away, it wasn't a good week for Bruce.

He grabbed a phone he had hidden and only took out before going to sleep alone in his room, hesitated for a few seconds and sent a message to the only number added.

His "thing" with the boy, Danny Fenton, had started four years ago, the boy was lost and Bruce found him when he coincidentally went for a walk as a civilian.

Danny was so charmed by Bruce (for some reason) that he gave him his hotel room number to keep talking about the universe, and later his home number.

Danny was a good, funny and witty kid, a very smart too, with parents who didn't deserve him because they didn't notice their son's brilliance.

Danny was a good boy with a not-so-good life, a strong, independent boy who wasn't always positive but didn't always let himself fall apart.

That's why when Danny answered his message with a call with him crying and asking for help, he could only go to his rescue without looking back, barely remembering to tell Alfred of his departure.

When he arrived he found only tragedy.

His family and friends had died, an explosion at an unfortunate time, Danny had no one in the world besides his godfather and Bruce, and he didn't want to fall into Vlad's clutches, so he was desperate.

He also told him about Phantom, and Bruce could only hug him and promise him that no one was going to find him.

The first thing that came to his mind was to take him to his mansion, Danny was like his son, it was the most logical action... except that Danny still looked up to him and trusted him a lot, and wasn't that a scary thought?

Bringing Danny to the mansion would involve many things, Danny would meet his children, which might make Danny see him differently, goodbye to his admiration and affection, goodbye to spending time "together" watching bad movies to criticize them, goodbye to quiet conversations and asking for advice, goodbye to trust.

Bringing Danny to the mansion would mean having him physically close but keeping him away in every other possible way.

"Danny doesn't want anyone else to know about Phantom." Bruce repeated to himself as he took Danny to a small, hidden apartment in Gotham, a cozy little place where Vlad wouldn't find Danny (and neither would Bruce's family).

[florisa6s]

a idea- mainly Bruce

I like the idea of Bruce being really weird and random at the most surprising times just to mess with people and Damian, Dick and every other kid sadly got that trait too.

----

Damian: as a child of divorce-

Talia: me and my beloved is not divorced.

-----

Clark: Bruce why didn't you say anything about them?!

Bruce: What they look at me first it's not my fault I'm a snack

Clark: Bruce you have kids.

Bruce: A Dilf snack

Clark: No!

Bruce: Listen as the hottest one here-

Hal: What you not that hot-

Bruce: AS THE MOST SCRUMPTIOUS SNACK HERE!

----

I swear all his kids got this trait from him, they watched and learned from the best so they all do it too

----

Jason: one time I got stuck in a hole for months

Roy: A hole why'd you get stuck-

Jason: I kinda like....died so yeah kinda got stuck in a hole for months I'm lucky they didn't cremate me.

------

Dick: if Damian ever had a date I'd kill them

Wally: Dick you can't just kill someone because-

Dick: if anyone lays a hand on my baby brother they are dead.

Wally: I thought bats don't-

Dick: I'm not a bat I'm a big brother first.

------

Tim: why did my camera break? It lasted two years falling off fire escapes and getting shot at but it died when I knocked it off my desk...why did it have to leave me in this cold cold world...

Steph: are you sure he was only supposed to take 2 pills?

Cass: *shrugs*

-----

[boundbyreading]

DAN MORA JASON TODD ROBIN!!

[neuro-psyche]

I think Dick and Jason would have multiple “what the actual fuck are you saying right now” with Tim and Damian when it comes to quality of life/monetary differences. Sure, Dick and Jason got used to Bruce’s “is $100 a good enough tip on a $30 bill?” shit, but hearing Tim talking about a new laptop he bought for $5000 literally is like a punch in the gut.

If they ever went on a cruise (which they totally wouldn’t because cruises are floating death traps), Jason and Dick would be in awe of the fancy amenities, where as Damian would be unsatisfied with the quality, since he grew up with every single amenity known to man. Tim would just feel like it’s all normal since the Drake’s were extravagant and travelled all over the planet.

Jason : My bedroom is bigger than my fucking apartment.

Dick : I could do a full gymnastics routine with the space in my room.

Tim :

Dick :

Tim : My room is normal sized…

Jason : You grew up in a mega mansion. I hardly think you’re the benchmark of a normal room-

Damian : I must agree with Drake. This room is frankly underwhelming.

Dick, staring wildly at him : What do you mean underwhelming- Dames there’s an aquarium wall in your room.

Damian : Yes. Underwhelming.

Jason :

Dick :

Jason : Do you want to-

Dick : Jump off the boat? Yes.

[litta-jpg]

talking shit with your brother <3

[citizenmoe]

*preparing for a wayne gala*

jason: how can you ever tell the difference between all the fancy forks?

tim: it’s really not that hard, the salad fork is smaller than the dinner fork, the cake fork has three prongs, oh there’s also the lobster fork and fish fork and…

jason: of course you know all this rich boy being raised with a silver spoon and all that elitist bs

tim: you know my parents forced me to go to etiquette school…

jason: and im supposed to feel bad for you?

tim: i still have my flashcards

jason: oh that would be great actually can i have those

[elkscreams]

Close calls lead to new friends 😯

[ky-landfill]

you can’t stop me.

[frownyalfred]

The Batfamily, by proxy of being raised by Bruce (undercover pro, lies every other word) and Alfred (actor in another life and in possession of the world’s blankest poker face), are probably the best at just running with something (a con, a secret identity, an undercover job, etc) and acting it out 100% believably. With zero hesitation.

Someone runs up to Red Hood one night in an alley and says “pretend to be my boyfriend! please, he’s following me!” and suddenly that’s not Jason Todd, Crime Lord. That’s Todd from the upper east side, and what the fuck man? leave her alone, you’re fucking tripping!

Etc etc.

[ashoss]

hiya! i forgor if you still do requests but uh if it’s not too much trouble could do you like the batfam watching bruce just sit in a chair in front of the jason memorial for like hours in end

tbh this prompt has been sitting rent free in my head ever since i saw it

[webshood]

Jason with his gay dads (it's take ur kid to work day) /j