incorrectbatfam - Tumblr blog

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Tim: Am I cool or what?

Damian: What.

Tim: I said, am I cool or—

Damian: Yeah, I heard you.

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Stephanie: What's for lunch?

Harper: Food, usually.

Stephanie: No, I mean what are we having?

Harper: An unwanted conversation.

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I love your blog, also can I have Dick Grayson annoying his siblings pls?

Duke: *checks the traffic*

Duke: Damn, forty-five minutes to school?

Dick: You think that's bad? Back in my day, I had to trapeze uphill in the snow both ways.

———————

Tim: *on the phone*

Dick: *sitting next to him eating loudly*

Tim: Can you not?

Dick: *smack* Lemme think. *smack* No.

———————

Dick: *knocks a vase over*

Cass: Ooooh.

Dick: Alfred, Cass broke the vase!

———————

Steph: *eating*

Dick, across the table: Can I try some?

Steph: No.

Dick: *ties a fork to his grapple*

———————

Damian: *painting while drinking tea*

Dick: *swaps the cups*

Damian: *takes a sip*

Damian, sputtering: GRAYSON!

———————

[Jason's safehouse]

Jason: *cooking*

Dick: *perched outside the window*

Jason: No, you can't have any.

Dick: *presses his face against the glass*

Jason: Go away.

Dick: *rubs fingerprints all over*

Jason: *closes the curtains*

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Duke: There is no way I’m letting you do this stupid thing.

The batfam: :(

Duke: Without me!

The batfam: :D

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Tim: Jason, what’s your plan for dealing with this?

Jason: Well, Plan A is what I call "Operation Ignore It and Hope It Goes Away".

Tim: That’s it? What the heck is Plan B?

Jason: Plan B is to keep trying Plan A.

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Damian: I fucking hate spring. It's just fucking pollen and bugs flying everywhere and the days are gonna be longer, I hate it so much.

Jon, dancing around: I love spring!

Damian: Ugh.

Damian: I love spring.

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Ok so since Bart was raised in a video game and Kon spawned like 2 days ago, imagine if they never got the queer romance DLC uploaded into them. So when Tim starts dating Bernard they think that's just something they should be doing too because Tim's the smart one after all. Monkey see, monkey do… with each other. And then they're confused when Tim loses his shit and they're like, "We thought we were supposed to??? Why kiss boys if you don't want us doing the same??? We are lemmings, Timothy"

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Stephanie: I think you’re my best friend.

Cassandra: You think?

Stephanie: Well, I can’t know for sure, because I’m realizing now that I don’t think I’ve ever really had one.

Cassandra: Okay, well, if we’re being honest, I don’t think I’ve ever had one, either.

Stephanie:

Stephanie: This would be a really sweet moment if what we had admitted to each other wasn’t so sad.

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"Alfred, call the guy" but it's a different guy each time. Just an endless parade of Guys. Don't ask where he gets them

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Bruce: We have everything under control.

Alfred: Is that why everything is on fire?

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How to tell a photo is Tim's: he photoshops his friends into places they shouldn't be

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Dick: Damian isn’t great about expressing his emotions.

Damian: If I say how I feel, people will say how they feel, and I don’t care.

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What's your favourite soup?

Best soup I've ever had was pozole from a hole-in-the-wall Mexican place that happened to have the perfect people-watching view

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Tim: Careful, it might be a trap.

Kon: Allow me.

Kon: *walks straight toward it*

Tim: What, it’s not a trap if you do it?

[incorrectbatfam]

Do you have any headcanons about dick and Jason being each others favorite brothers👀

Love your blog!!

Dick's favorite is Jason because Jason knows everything Dick did as a teenager which Dick wants to keep under wraps

Jason's favorite is Dick because did anyone else try to kill the Joker for him? Exactly. But good luck getting him to admit it

Dick is convinced Jason came back wrong because no fuckin way his LITTLE brother is TALLER than him

Pre-reveal, Dick loathed Red Hood with every fiber because all he could think about was how this guy had the audacity to use his brother's killer's old moniker

Jason did the Pen 15 thing with Sharpie and Dick actually fell for it

Dick stole Roy's hoodie back in their Titans days, which Jason stole from Dick, and now they go back and forth stealing it from each other while Roy's like "can I have it back now"

Jason matched with one of Dick's coworkers on a dating app. They met for lunch. At the workplace's cafeteria

Dick redesigned his squad car after he stopped being a cop and Jason secretly installed a fridge in the glove compartment. Cut to a week later when Jason pulls out a whole pizza on the highway

Jason does DoorDash occasionally and one time he delivered tacos to an abandoned warehouse because Dick needed backup and the comms were down. Jason didn't help fight, but instead just stood here until he got his tip

Texting Jason is impossible because he'll reply a month later just to correct Dick's grammar

They screenshot the funniest mean comments on their posts and meet up once a month to read them over a bonfire with drinks

Jason will finish patrol, drive all the way to Bludhaven, and climb through Dick's window just to put his wet socks on the radiator and make himself a PB&J. Dick will just be like "ugh whatever" and pretend to watch TV while secretly checking to make sure Jason isn't injured

They trick the other siblings into thinking there's a Robin test that only Dick and Jason have passed

Jason stained Dick's carpet with gunpowder so as revenge, Dick hid an alarm clock in Jason's safehouse

Dick accidentally stumbled across Jason's Ao3 but when he tried to use it as blackmail Jason's just like, "Girl what were YOU doing at the devil's sacrament?"