winterflxwrs

[winterflxwrs]

My goals

These things could make me happy …

-> Being a high maintenance girlie (skincare, always put together, …).

-> A few physical changes (changing up my hair n stuff).

-> Starting (mental) selfcare.

-> Working on my bucketlist.

-> Be social and present in different communities (college, college city, own city, volunteering, …).

I’ll share tips, progress etc. on my blog about these subjects.. but might also be other subjects who knows.

[winterflxwrs]

How to actually start improving?

~ a mini not so mini guide

It’s unorganised, by the way, kinda more like an essay on what I found out. Summary is at the end tho lol.

So, I don’t know if it was just always me but I used to base my goals off of the ‘general/default’ goals tiktok selfcare accounts and whatever used to make. Like those ‘glow up tip’ accounts.

Well, I am now here to tell you that is not the way to go.

I’ve being reading this book, which is unrelated to glowing up, but somehow opened my eyes. I’ll gatekeep it for now because it isn’t available in English, it’s only in my native language (yet) so if it ever gets translated I’ll drop the name.

Anyway instead of making a checklist of “oh.. and I need to lose x amount of weight, I need to start taking care of my nails, …„ which can be great goals, don’t get me wrong. But they aren’t really personal.

Take a minute to think: what would make ME happy? Like truly happy.

It honestly might be making a change in your physical appearance, that’s completely possible. But instead of following what others say like taking care of your nails, getting teeth whiteners, etc.

What would you like to see a change in?

For example making some physical changes to my appearance are on my list - I have never being satisfied with my hair and I would like to get a new haircut, colour it and learn to take proper care of it.

You can obviously take inspiration from others, but think about why you want to take inspiration from them.

For example I aspire to be like this girl from the book I’m reading. I thought about why, why did I aspire to be like her. And figured I also want to be very involved in certain communities like my college.

So to turn theory into practice - I aspired to be like this girl in my book. Why? I also want to be involved in my college. Do I think that will make me happy? Yes, because it makes me more productive.

So what to do:

Think about what would make you happy and write it down.

These are probably your goals now. For example making new, less toxic friends would make me happy. Boom, goal!

So, let me know if this works for you because it honestly made the whole proces of setting goals a little les overwhelming and more personal!

~ summary

Stop taking default goals from pinterest, tiktok, other blogs.

Instead figure out what would make YOU PERSONALLY happy. For example working out and eating healthy would make you happier? Good, now you have a goal.

Of course it can be a ‘default’ goal as long as you know that it’s something you will be happy with. And of course you can take inspo from other people, but stop to think why you are inspired by them and if it will really benefit you.

[winterflxwrs]

Let’s glow together!!

Hey lovies! I’ve been offline for like.. forever. A lot has changed in my life; I started college, moved into a dorm, became long distance with my partner etc. etc.

And it all just hit me like a ROCK a month ago.. so I went offline and also accidentally started neglecting myself..

But I’m back now with this series (?) thing or whatever called.. ‘let’s glow together ✨’ where I share my tips & my own progress in becoming the best version of ourselves together!

So join in?

[winterflxwrs]

How to balance your own life/self improvement & a relationship?

A guide ~

So this is for me because I’m in a loving wonderful relationship for exactly 8 months today but ever since we started dating I threw all my (very high maintenance) routines out of the window in a way I don’t do them frequently anymore.. and I want to start taking beter care of myself again.

So maybe someone else also finds some tips in this post.

🦢 communicate

I think it’s best to start of with the most important one and that’s openly communicating with your partner.

Which means tell them about your values, dreams, goals..

I personally think that can be a difficult thing because it was for me since my girlfriend has always known me as extremely confident in myself (and I still am) so I didn’t want her to know I too would like to change certain things about my life. But I did end up telling her I wanted to start taking beter care of myself again because I’ve being neglecting my good habits.

And good partners will be supportive of you! She was, so if you’re also struggling with this I assure you it won’t go wrong!

🦢 shared goals

To follow up discuss the goals you might have together.

For example maybe both of you want to start exercising? Or setting some extra money to the side for a vacation?

There might be some things you two can do together if both of you are up for that! Which can be a great motivator for some.

🦢 be a little selfish

No this doesn’t mean doing whatever you want without taking into account your partner’s feelings.

For example it is when you want to have some alone time, that you can do so even when your partner spontaneously wanted to go out. You also deserve some time for yourself.

It’s simply giving yourself some things you enjoyed/did when you were single and still being able to do them in a committed relationship.

🦢 compromise

Following that up, also be able to compromise. You obviously aren’t alone in your relationship and just as you’re allowed to want to do your own thing you’d also have to let your partner do the same.

It will not always be the way you planned it, in those situations you’ll have to compromise with your partners wants.

For example you wanted to give yourself a selfcare day but your partner would love for you to come to this family event. Why don’t you join them to the event since it’s important for your partner and do a selfcare day tomorrow if you have time?

🦢 include your partner

Obviously you’re dating this person, so I’m guessing you want a future with them. Since you do.. and since you and your partner will most likely end up living together just get it over with and include them in your self improvement journey.

It can be little things, for example she holds my hair when I do my skincare at her house and I don’t want to wear a headband. Or she’s just there when I search pilates workouts to do later. As well doing things a little more outside of your comfort zone like for me.. her knowing about this account 😅.

But it’s your partner, the person who will know you best of all. I think including them in your personal journey really will make your bond stronger!

🦢 prioritise your relationship

Lastly, but also very important your relationship should be no. 1 place!

There really is no more explaining to do. Be open with your partner, go on dates, skip a (not yet booked) facial appointment for something important they want to do with you! They’re the person you love after all.