wandascarletfairy

[wandascarletfairy]

Stiles: Why are you following me? Derek: Because we’re dating now. Stiles: Okay… what about the other three? Isaac: We’re a package deal Erica: Buy one idiot, get two idiots and a Boyd free!

[wandascarletfairy]

Buck: Eds, if you die, do you want to be buried or cremated? Like, if you were hit by a bus today, what do I do?

Eddie: Go after the bus driver and make him pay for what he did to me.

Eddie: Avenge me, Buck. Avenge me!

Buck: I found this company, and they bury you in a biodegradable sack. So when your body decomposes, it fertilizes the seeds of a fruit tree.

Buck: That's what I want. Because then you and all the people that love me can eat the fruit from my tree.

Eddie: That is fucking mental

Buck: Coming from the guy that wants me to ruin a bus driver's life just 'cause he killed you swerving to avoid a child!

Eddie: I didn't know about the fucking child!

[wandascarletfairy]

Eddie: Please don’t kill me, I have a boyfriend.

Robber: Do you think I care about that?

Eddie: No, this is not a plea for mercy. It is a warning.

Robber: What do you-

Buck, running at them with a chainsaw: ARE YOU READY TO DIE?!

Eddie: You better run.

[wandascarletfairy]

Buck: Momma, if I, for some reason, needed to hide a body, what should I do? Athena: Not tell me while I'm in uniform. Buck, pauses: What if you're not in uniform? Athena, sighs: ...Where's the body at?

[wandascarletfairy]

Athena: Explain yourself. Eddie: I did nothing wrong. I was just trying to buy a present for Buck and Christopher. Athena: Eddie, you singlehandedly caused the store to close their business with a single review. Eddie, matter-of-factly: Maybe if they were actually good they wouldn’t close down because of a single, honest and true review, but they did. Athena: ... Eddie: And now their stock is on clearance and I can buy gifts for the rest of our family in time for Christmas this year. Athena: It's literally October. Eddie: And you know how your son gets with Christmas. This was necessary. Athena: ...You know what? I think I could use those discounts myself for this headache I'm getting talking to you.

[wandascarletfairy]

Bobby: ... Eddie: ... Bobby: So I've heard you finally made an honest man out of my son, Diaz. Eddie, coughs: Y-yes? I mean, yeah. I did. Bobby: Tell me, will it take another decade before you're ready to make him your husband? Eddie, chokes: I, uh - Bobby, grumbling: Because let me tell you — Buck becoming your boyfriend has been a long time coming but more of this and I'll be in a grave before I get to see the wedding! Eddie, panicking: I already bought a ring! Bobby: ... Eddie: ... Bobby, stares: ... Eddie, stares back: ... Bobby, pissed off: So now you think you can take my son away that quickly, huh?!?! Eddie, groans: God, I cannot win.

[wandascarletfairy]

The 118 doing an escape room:

Buck gets laser focused on a red herring and wastes twenty minutes trying to solve it

Hen starts complaining about medical inaccuracies on a very obviously fake body

Eddie gets distracted and doesn't realize he managed to open one of the locks thirty minutes ago

Chim becomes convinced something is a movie reference (it's not) and throws out completely incorrect suggestions for ten minutes

Bobby just gives up because somehow his team of highly skilled firefighters are all morons the moment they take off their uniforms

[wandascarletfairy]

Buck: Yeeted is the correct term.

Chim: It's yote and you know this, Evan!

Buck: YEETED!

Chim: Bobby, tell Buck it’s yote.

Bobby, sighing: I just wanna know who threw Ravi out the window.

[wandascarletfairy]

Based on scene from Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2

Chim: I did not pick her up early from preschool and I will not apologize for loving our daughter.

Maddie: Jee-Yun, did dad pick you up early from school?

Jee-Yun: No.

Chim: See? Case closed.

Jee-Yun: We didn't go.

Maddie: Case open.

Jee-Yun: We went shopping.

Chim: Okay, that's enough.

Jee-Yun: We got matching hats.

Chim: You're going to your room.

Maddie: You're both going to her room.

[wandascarletfairy]

Based on scene from Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13

5 years old Jee-Yun: I want to watch the news about the 118!

Chim: Okay, well first we want to talk about the word you said earlier.

Jee-Yun: What word?

Chim: Starts with F.

Jee-Yun: Flower?

Chim: No.

Jee-Yun: Fruit?

Chim: No.

Maddie: If she doesn't remember we probably shouldn't remind of it.

Chim: Well, she said 3x.

Jee-Yun: Oh, you mean f#*k.

Albert: *Laughing*

[wandascarletfairy]

*In the firehouse loft*

*Buck and Ravi playing monopoly*

Buck: Ravi, for the last time, STOP BEING A LANDLORD!!

Ravi: No! Now pay up. You landed on my property.

Buck: I don't have enough to pay you.

Ravi: Not my problem, Buckley.

[wandascarletfairy]

Chim: Dinosaurs aren't extinct. I mean Gerrard is still walking around.

Hen: *laughing*

Chim: What, it's true!