ursa-major-eunice - Tumblr blog

[ursa-major-eunice]

Certain people make me feel like a shelter dog. Scared, trembling, praying to any god that will listen that I’ll be good enough for them. That I won’t mess up, that they won’t send me back. The question I ask is, why are my parents, the people supposed to be my “forever home”, the people who I beg not to send me back? I beg even though I know it’s for nothing, I beg though I know, it’s never worked before.

[ursa-major-eunice]

I’m so tired. It seems like everything I do is a chore for my body. I WANT to enjoy things, to enjoy school, my friends, even my down time, but my body won’t let me. I want to relax but my body is so used to being under immense stress, pressure, and pain that it won’t relax even if im asleep. I want to rest but my body knows the rest is temporary, that in a few short hours it will have to get up again. Not that my brains actively trying to relax anyway, my thoughts won’t stop. My sleep is restless, I don’t even sleep that much anyway, taking three hours to get to sleep, and only sleeping for four. The only day I can actually rest is Friday night/Saturday morning but soccer season is starting so soon even those days will be filled with stress. I want to rest but I won’t let myself, I need to keep going, I’m like a shark, if I stop I die, if I stop, I have confront everything that is keeping my from resting. I can’t rest. I won’t let myself. Even if I need to.

[ursa-major-eunice]

Hiiii it’s Eunice. this is my sadder yap account. My alter ego if you will 👹👹. This is where I will do more of my sadder yapping sessions, soooo… be prepared?? Occasionally I will burst into happy yaps but usually that will be on my main account @little-dipper-euni

Sorry this was so short, I’m just kind of tired.

Sincerely, Eunice,(your mentally ill friend)