tonytheanagirl - Tumblr blog

[tonytheanagirl]

It’s been 3 months now someone noticed that I lost weight and havnt been eating I need to hide myself now

[tonytheanagirl]

I’ve been a year clean from self harm which is awesome however now it’s getting hard again all the trauma comes back this time of year and I relive everything so I’m just wondering when I will fuck up again

[tonytheanagirl]

The sad part about not understanding a lot of social cues is when go go and try to make friends again you make one and ultimately end up doing something very shortly after that you don’t even realize is wrong but apparently is so then you just make people upset and you are left with no friends again and then you give up on making friends again for a long time because you don’t want to get really close to someone to just end up fucking it up and the loosing them and spiraling out of control I probably won’t ever have friends again

[tonytheanagirl]

I don’t know what to do it’s almost been 2 months of me relapsing with my Ed I can’t make myself eat I only eat one meal a day and that’s what’s required of me I don’t actually want to look like I’ve lost weight I just want the number to go down which is different than all the other times I’ve relapsed i wanted to look like I’ve lost a lot of weight and have number go down I don’t understand why this is happening because it’s so different and I have never kept a streak up like this before normally I try not to eat and it only lasts a few days and then I binge and do it all over or completely forget about it but now it’s like eating is just not an option and not something I need to actively try not to do it’s literally the opposite I have to force myself to eat I don’t know if I will be able to stop I’m already down to my goal weight when i first started the relapse however now I see that I’ve lost weight and I don’t like that my body looks different so I’m emotionally distressed and I want to eat even less

[tonytheanagirl]

It’s been a really hard few days and I have been sh clean for almost a year and I want to throw it all away honestly i want to kill myself again I don’t know what went so wrong in less than a week actually I do but why is the question I guess I can’t stop my relapse with my Ed and now I’m scared I will loose everything I have and I don’t want to be here

[tonytheanagirl]

Ive been doing so good for a whole year and it just hit me and now I can’t get myself to eat again I don’t know what happened here we go again

[tonytheanagirl]

I havnt been happy since I was 12 I’m living my dream but my life still sucks and hurts so much I’m just about 20 now

[tonytheanagirl]

Hope none of your clothes fkn fit for the new year. Hope you have to trek it out to EXPENSIVE boutiques to buy clothes that actually look good and have to pay a dumb amount of money to tailor them in to fit your new, sickly frame.

–

last time I made a curse, I lost 5kg in 10 days. here’s another to curse us all again hmm

[tonytheanagirl]

Looks at scale

*is underweight*

DONT FUCKING LIE TO ME YOY BITCH

[tonytheanagirl]

*ED warning*

Do you ever almost get yourself to eat sth but then when you open the fridge and look at any of the food, it makes you think about how shit and fat and disgusting you’re gonna feel if you eat anything so you just close the fridge, drink some water and cry a bit?

[tonytheanagirl]

netflix and alone

[tonytheanagirl]

“Men don’t like skinny girls, they want something to grab onto”

[tonytheanagirl]

maybe it’s just me

[tonytheanagirl]

reblog if ur an ed blog

i haven’t been on tumblr in almost a year so all the blogs i follow aren’t ed accounts anymore (congrats to them for ((hopefully)) recovering!!) but now i need more accounts to follow.

reblog if you’re an active ed account and i’ll follow you!

[tonytheanagirl]

Depression: eat EVERYTHING

ED: Starve bitch, starve!

Anxiety: Help

[tonytheanagirl]

Idk if this has been done before but here, appreciate it ;>

[tonytheanagirl]

Logic

Me: “Hehe! I love food!”

Anorexia: “Yeah, they can tell.”

Depression: “They don’t care enough to notice you’re faking it.”

Anxiety: “What if they see you throw it away?”

Logic: “Do you think maybe you’d feel better if you were actually honest about this and tried to get professional help?”

Me: “SkInNi”