thirtyratsinasuit
savannah
33 posts
ur favorite psych patientlvl 19
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thirtyratsinasuit · 17 days ago
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HOLY ACTUAL SHIT THANK YOU GUYS SM
guess i should update yall
i’m getting married. yes, the weird metalhead girl is actually getting married. to a golden retriever man btw.
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thirtyratsinasuit · 4 months ago
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great big thanks to @anonthescambuster for pointing this scammer out. it’s really messed up how they would try to take advantage of people using a literal genocide.
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thirtyratsinasuit · 4 months ago
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Goob-Cats ! ✧.*
Cats that remind me MMG !!
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Likes and re-blawgs are appreciated :3
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thirtyratsinasuit · 4 months ago
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yall im so petty lol.
in all seriousness stop being a parasocial freak and touch grass bc you don’t know them, you don’t know their relationship. deal with it.
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thirtyratsinasuit · 4 months ago
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RIP Shelley Duvall
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thirtyratsinasuit · 6 months ago
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❤︎ 𝑪𝒖𝒑𝒊𝒅'𝒔 𝑷𝒍𝒂𝒏 ❤︎
𝙨𝙮𝙥𝙣𝙤𝙨𝙞𝙨; 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘤 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘪𝘴𝘵, 𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘯𝘯𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘶𝘦.
𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨; 𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘤 𝘤𝘮 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵, 𝘮𝘢𝘫𝘰𝘳 𝘧𝘭𝘶𝘧𝘧
𝙖/𝙣; 𝘪𝘮 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘪𝘤, 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘪 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘴 <3 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭
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𝙩𝙖𝙜 𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩; @pleasantwitchgarden @lyd14k4y @rubyirene @rotten-royale @isnt-itstrange @2hiigh2cry @batghouleh @spookyparadisesheep @dollissante
“reid, do me a favor and bring this to the lab?” garcia spoke sweetly, handing an orange envelope to the resident genius. of course, he wondered as to why of all people she’d ask him. the cranky old pathologist was so mean, he always argued on everything.
before spencer knew it, he was knocking on the door to the lab. a faint voice could be heard behind the door, “come in!”
that’s not the old coot.
“hello?”
that’s definitely not the old coot!
the door opened, and your frustrated face was seen. “i said come in!” you huffed.
“i- uh-“
“what? staring problem?” you smirked.
spencer blushed, handing you the folder, to which you promptly took. you grabbed a marker from your coat pocket, and wrote your number on a blank sticky note attached to said folder, handing it to spencer. “call me.”
“is this appropriate?”
“it’s about the case, smart-ass. but, if you want to make it a daaaate…”
“i’ll call after work.”
garcia’s plan worked perfectly.
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thirtyratsinasuit · 6 months ago
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hey my luvs, sorry to inform yall but i have to update asap.
i start school monday, im traveling across the state to be in job corps. so im trying to get this second chapter out asap, i might just give yall a lil filler fic until the chapter is out.
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thirtyratsinasuit · 6 months ago
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"leather black & eyes of blue." | euronymous
freak. - lana del rey
⊹₊⋆ synopsis: here comes the bride...
✮⋆˙ [tags] @faesucksass @lustkillers @mayathepsychic1999 @josibunn @si1nful-symph0ny @vanlisbon @livingdead-reilly @oliviah-25 @lankysimp@auggiethecreator @livingdead-materialgirl @monkeyfart@imoonkiss @nom-nommmm1 @xxbl00d-cl0txx @k1ll3rh0rr0r @wildathevrt @mommymilkers0526 @greenxgloss @wild-rose-35
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⊹₊⋆ pairing: bride!reader x groom!euronymous
⊹₊⋆ word count: 769
⊹₊⋆ contents: marrying euronymous, making out, slight exhibitionism
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“do you take oystein aarseth to be your devoted husband from this day forward?”
the priest’s deep voice boomed through the glass walls of the dark church. you swallowed hard, the gazes of all those in the audience cloaking you in a cold blanket as the question rang out in your ears.
euronymous locked your hands with his, staring down at you with a gaze intense enough to freeze blood. in a matter of seconds, life had just become serious for you. his calloused fingers massaged slow circles onto your lightly trembling hands, the anticipation of your answer coming in palpable waves from all around. 
“i do.”
your voice broke through the thick tension, relieved sighs coming from a few. euronymous nodded ever so slightly, tucking a stray lock of black hair back into his neatly packed bun. 
the coolness in the room dissipated, your body being replaced with an overwhelming sense of heat, despite your arms and chestbone being exposed in your wedding dress. it was constructed of black velvet, with a train that slithered behind you with every step you took. it was studded with diamonds and black jewels that made you shimmer under the dim moonlight that shone in from the window. 
euronymous had put away his usual rugged attire, replacing it with a midnight-black suit and blood-red tie. his rogue black waves had been tamed with jeweled hair pins, a few strands being left out for an artful effect. 
your intestines felt as if they were knotted into tight strings as euronymous eyed you, his gaze either radiating admiration or a deep sense of hunger. either way, it was doing miraculous things to your body and your stamina was barely hanging on a thread.
as the priest continued stating the vows, you could feel euronymous’ gaze creeping down your slightly exposed cleavage, the slightest grin spread across his lips. he knew what he was doing to you, giving you those eyes in the presence of a holy figure. if it hadn’t been for the watchful eyes of you and his entire family, he would’ve shamelessly ruined you right there on the spot.
“...you may now kiss the bride.”
your blood ran cold as he uttered the words you had been waiting for all night. in a blink of an eye, euronymous scooped you into his arms, his hands grabbing onto your ass as he wore your legs as a belt around his waist and kissed you hungrily on the lips, years of pent-up tension unraveling in that moment.
he had always thought of you as a prude. you had been the first girl who didn’t let him get in your panties after the first date. you hadn’t even let him kiss you. and that was 4 years ago. you weren’t religious, but you were a firm believer in waiting until marriage to completely surrender yourself to a man. you were shocked when euronymous had said that he was willing to make the commitment. and now, you were even more astounded at how heavenly it felt to finally have him against you after all this time.
you wrapped your arms around his neck, your dark eyelashes fluttering against his pale cheeks as he deepened the kiss significantly. he was so desperate to taste you, like a starved dog that had been deprived for years. your manicured fingers found their way to his hair, hastily freeing the dark mass from its banded prison.
he forced your mouth open with his tongue, your teeth clicking together as your tongues fought a silent battle. no one else existed right then. just you, and the man you loved dearly.
it was so incredibly lewd. the way his teeth tugged at your bottom lip, the way his hands dug into the plush flesh of your ass, nearly tearing your dress. he detached his lips from yours, your swollen mouth panting for air as he trailed a sloppy string of kisses down your neck, leaving a red stream of your smudged lipstick in its path.
the embrace was interrupted by the priest gently clearing his throat. both your eyes opened, taking in the various expressions of surprise and discomfort in the crowd. euronymous mustered a little laugh, gently setting you back on the ground. your eyes dodged from his eyes to his disheveled hair to his lips.
you had let him have you for an intense 30 seconds, but you wanted more. you wanted to give yourself to him completely, to give him what he had been waiting for. and now, you finally could.
“i pronounce you, husband and wife.”
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author's note: guess who watched corpse bride 3 times today!
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thirtyratsinasuit · 6 months ago
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i promise yall, i’m writing chapter two of saccharine skies. i’m just busy with school n shit, and writers block is a bitch.
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thirtyratsinasuit · 6 months ago
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𝚜𝚊𝚌𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚎 - 𝚜.𝚛.
ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ | ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴏɴᴇ
𝙨𝙮𝙣𝙤𝙥𝙨𝙞𝙨; 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘭 𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘶𝘴, 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘶 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘲𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯.
𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨; 𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘤𝘮 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴, 𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘹 𝘥𝘳𝘶𝘨𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘭𝘤𝘰𝘩𝘰𝘭, 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘺, 𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘨𝘢𝘱 (𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 21, 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 36)
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you were top of your class, graduating from harvard at age fifteen with a degree in psychology and several other certifications. it was no surprise that you got in to the bau, given that you're just what they needed. well, most of them would say that.
from the moment you walked through the doors and agent hotchner introduced you to everyone, there was one person in particular that stood out. he stared at you like he wanted to watch you 𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘭. it made your blood boil.
"earth to spencer," penelope, the woman with the colorful clothes spoke as she snapped her fingers in agent reid's face, causing the man to blink. "you were staring at her like she was dinner!"
"its okay, i'm used to it by now. a lot of people arent used to seeing a twenty-one year old in my position." you shrugged, stepping closer, holding out a hand to shake as you told the brunette your name.
"i dont do handshakes," spencer narrowed his eyes as you awkwardly put your hand in your pocket. "doctor spencer reid."
"its nice to meet you, doctor."
"likewise." spencer spoke, studying you. "autism?"
"huh?"
"youre avoiding eye contact and youre swaying, which is a common attribute to stimming." the man spoke nonchalantly, leaving you speachless.
"how did you?-" "someone who belongs in the bau would know."
𒊹︎𒊹︎𒊹︎𒊹︎𒊹︎𒊹︎𒊹︎𒊹︎𒊹︎𒊹︎𒊹︎𒊹︎𒊹︎𒊹︎𒊹︎
an; sorry for being so short!! btw this is post prison reid
tag list
@pleasantwitchgarden
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thirtyratsinasuit · 6 months ago
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𝚜𝚊𝚌𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚎 - 𝚜.𝚛.
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𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝.
𝚙𝚝. 𝟷 - 5/12/24
𝚙𝚝. 𝟸 - 𝚝𝚋𝚊
𝚙𝚝. 𝟹 - 𝚝𝚋𝚊
𝚙𝚝. 𝟺 - 𝚝𝚋𝚊
𝚙𝚝. 𝟻 - 𝚝𝚋𝚊
𝚙𝚝. 𝟼 - 𝚝𝚋𝚊
𝚙𝚝. 𝟽 - 𝚝𝚋𝚊
𝚙𝚝. 𝟾 - 𝚝𝚋𝚊
𝚙𝚝. 𝟿 - 𝚝𝚋𝚊
𝚙𝚝. 𝟷𝟶 - 𝚝𝚋𝚊
𝚕𝚖𝚔 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚍 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚊𝚍𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚢 𝚝𝚊𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝 ♡︎
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thirtyratsinasuit · 6 months ago
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i’m gonna finish up my kappa fic i swear. in the meantime check out my photography blog and insta. i work hard on it :)
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thirtyratsinasuit · 7 months ago
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angy
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thirtyratsinasuit · 7 months ago
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I SWEAR IM WRITING THE KAPPA FIC IM JUST DEALING WITH BEING AN ORPHAN RN
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thirtyratsinasuit · 7 months ago
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Mama,
You left this world a month ago tomorrow, and yet everything feels surreal. I don’t really know how to feel about it still, I keep thinking you’re just going to walk through the door and yell “sike” or something; even though I was the one who found your body.
Gammy is taking it hard, it pains me to hear her cries at night. No mother should have to bury her child. Yaya’s taking it hard too, you were her older sister; now she has to wear your shoes.
Parrain’s taking it the worst. He feels like he failed you.
I remember years ago when you said you’d send signs if you died spontaneously, and I want to thank you for sending signs and telling us you’re okay. I love you Mama, forever and always, to infinity beyond and back again.
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thirtyratsinasuit · 7 months ago
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Funny story
Shemar Moore tried to hook up with my aunt (and my mom I think) and even called their moms to ask permission on bourbon street circa 2003-04 and bought them hand grenades.
Not kidding. They also turned him down.
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thirtyratsinasuit · 7 months ago
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Headcanon where spencer takes forever getting ready? Yes. I believe so.
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“Spence, we’re gonna be late!” She called, standing in the hallway of their shared apartment. Spencer took forever getting ready, which tracked. “You’re gonna make us late!”
“Relax, sweetheart,” Spencer huffed, stepping out of the bedroom as he buttoned the top of his shirt. “It takes us exactly thirteen minutes and seventeen seconds to arrive, including the streetlights, stop signs, and possible traffic.”
“Curse you and your big brain, Spencer Reid,” You playfully chided, kissing his cheek as you grabbed your keys. “Ready?”
“Let me grab my shoes.”
“Jesus H. Christ, Spencer!”
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