theloveglossary-blog

[theloveglossary-blog]

R is for Regret

The piece of me our love created that I’ll never get back You’ll never know what it’s like because I carried it The piece of me I gave up for you. You like to say how much it was equal parts of you as it was me. However if that mindset was there when I needed it who knows where us 3 would be.

[theloveglossary-blog]

I need to learn commitment

[theloveglossary-blog]

I is for It’s Me Not You

Dating has never been my strong suit. 

I honestly haven't genuinely liked somebody outside of being infatuated for a time since maybe middle school.

I’ve had one real relationship so to speak. I truly don't count anything prior to that as I was a young pup at the time. 

Since then it’s just been situationships. 

[theloveglossary-blog]

I is for Insecure

I once had a guy I was dating (honestly can’t remember if we were official by this time or not) take my phone, take a picture of us, and proceed to post it on MY instagram. 

Now back then, before I was old enough to know better, it was cute.

Looking back on it now I realize it was the first red flag at this BOY’s insecurities.

Ladies if a man ever takes your phone and post on your social media for you, texts people for you, answers phone calls for you without your permission, inserts himself into your conversations in anyway…. throw the whole man away.

He is insecure. He’s trying to flex his muscle and peacock prance around to make himself feel better. This is a subtle way of trying to demonstrate ownership/control and you ma'am are not property. 

If he feels that you aren’t making his presence in your life known enough that is a CONVERSATION that should be had and not an action he takes upon himself.

Also do not let this behavior slide! It is a slipper slope. 

[theloveglossary-blog]

T is for Triangle

D3 writes:

Ok I’ve been dating this guy for about two years now. I should have stayed away because he’s a cap to my scales. Any who I decided to give him a chance despite the red flags. He’s always been very secretive and slow to open up to me. I am an open book and he always wants to know every detail of what’s going on with me but does not give me the same in return. It gets worse, I feel like he’s purposely made us argue every year before Valentine’s Day so that I don’t want to talk to him (I’ve always thought there was another woman). However, since we technically aren’t exclusive I kind of let it roll off my back. Well back to the dating and not wanting to make us exclusive part. It’s been two years, we’ve both graduated college and still nothing. I made it up in my mind that I was once and for all going to let him go, took an oath to myself to abstain from sex and everything. Well I’ve been dating this new guy lately ( which is huge because I don’t date because of my attachment to old guy). The new guy, he’s the twins to my scales. Well I dig him and all but the old guy slowly but surely has come back into my life *oops*. And on top of that he’s been acting great! He’s been more attentive, open, asking me about my birthday, and the mood has just been so light and smooth between us (of course the old guy acts good when there’s a new guy around). Long story short, I kind of want to see where things will go with old guy. I mean I owe it to myself right? He knows me and my body so well. Hell we’ve been dating two years. I don’t want to completely give up on the new guy because he’s been so awesome from the start. He’s so funny, we laugh all the time as if we’ve know each other for years. He’s adventurous and our dates are always different and fun. He’s smart, a gym ray like me and very upfront about how he feels. *sigh* I’m honestly trumped and don’t know what to do at this point. Can old dogs learn new tricks or should I let go of my safe zone and enter a new?

Signed,

-DTriangle

Two years is along time for  you not to be exclusive. It sounds like you both are just too comfortable and not looking to let go. If you were to see your future right now would old guy really be in it? Would you want him to be in it? Sometimes God tests us to see if we're really ready for the blessing he's trying to bring us. Why would one waste time sending a new blessing your way if you’re easy to run back to what you’re supposed to be elevated from? Leave the past in the past.

[theloveglossary-blog]

L is for Love

What is it?

I’ve heard it’s great. I’ve said the word to partners before but looking back I don’t think I meant it. Just kind of felt like what you were supposed to do.

It honestly sounds like a hassle. Maybe I’m too young and selfish to fathom loving someone right now?

Could you imagine? You’re hungry and want take out but when you’re “in love” you have to be aware enough of the other person to ask if they want food too. 

You’re responsible for a whole other person’s feelings. You single-handedly have power to lift them up or tear them down.

How do you even know you’re in love versus extremely comfortable with a person? Or infatuated? What part of the brain or heart or soul tells you “this is it”?

I get why love is nice. Scientifically the dopamine in your body is on high all the time so your feeling hella good. You’re probably physical with this person in some ways and physical touch is calming and nurturing (we’re simple creatures after all). 

Is it just that it puts you at peace? Is it just the comfort in knowing that you at least have a person?

How do you define love?