thefictiontherapist

[thefictiontherapist]

East of Eden, with plot reduced (2)

So, Steinbeck is good, I’ll give him that. East of Eden was a pretty enjoyable read, but I can’t help but think... wouldn’t the book have been better, more conflict-free, if Cal had come out and told Aron about his mom? There’s kind of a big (spoiler alert) scene at the end that relies on Aron finding out about his mom in the most harmful way possible. If Cal had delivered the news shortly after finding out himself, maybe this book would have been that much better.

[thefictiontherapist]

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, with plot reduced

So much pain and confusion could have been saved if Hermione had told Harry her suspicions before getting petrified. Harry then could have told Dumbledore, who would have connected “voices in the walls” to “snakes in the pipes,” and the conflict could have de-escalated before it went anywhere! C’MON HERMIONE. * Rowling, J. K. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. New York City: Scholastic, 1998. Kindle Edition.

[thefictiontherapist]

East of Eden, with plot reduced

Listen, I know John Steinbeck is heralded as this incredible author who basically redefined what American literature can be, but I got news for you; his characters are FULL of flaws. Early on in East of Eden, Adam Trask won’t listen to Cathy’s insistence that she’s not who he thinks she is. This leads to a big ol’ bundle of plot. Does that sound like a good author to you!? In this post, I’ve fixed East of Eden for you by ironing out Adam’s faults. Now he listens to Cathy’s pleads, and nearly ¾ of the plot of this book is avoided. You’re welcome.

[thefictiontherapist]

Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, with plot reduced

One of the reasons Gollum won the inner battle with Smeagol is poor communication with Frodo. If Frodo had made it clear that he was not betraying Gollum, that he was, in fact, saving his life, maybe the good in Gollum would have been saved? Miscommunication, ya'll. The true killer.

[thefictiontherapist]

Wreck-It Ralph, with plot reduced

Listen up, people, cuz this is what's wrong with fiction nowadays. You see this? You see how poorly these two characters communicate IN THIS CHILDREN'S MOVIE!? This is what we're teaching our kids, people; that stories need "conflict" in order to be good stories. I edited it to be the perfect example of a good story, albeit a short one, where nobody gets hurt. As it should be.

[thefictiontherapist]

Romeo and Juliet, with plot reduced

Seriously? This is the most famous tragedy in the history of tragedies, AND IT COMES DOWN TO A MISCOMMUNICATION ISSUE. 

[thefictiontherapist]

Star Wars: Episode 1 - The Phantom Menace, with plot reduced

Listen, I don't claim to be a Star Wars expert, but it seems to me that a whole lot of plot could have been avoided if Obi-Wan had just respected the council's decision! Let this be a lesson to you all: if ever you are faced with the option of either saving a poor slave boy who hates sand and is destined to become an evil mass murderer or not saving a poor slave boy who hates sand and is destined to become an evil mass murderer, choose the latter.

[thefictiontherapist]

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, with plot reduced

Dumbledore talks often about being very clever, but, for someone who was very clever, his lack of communication skills certainly caused a lot of nasty plot. Here is just one way he could have made things a little easier. * Rowling, J. K. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. New York City: Scholastic, 2007. Kindle Edition.

[thefictiontherapist]

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, with plot reduced

This one will be a little harder for HP fans to read, but I feel it's my duty to point out that, with effective communication and less plot, Sirius might still be alive. Sorry :/ * Rowling, J. K. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. New York City: Scholastic, 2003. Kindle Edition.

[thefictiontherapist]

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, with plot reduced (2)

Literally every single problem could be solved if every third sentence someone said was “we should see Dumbledore.” * Rowling, J. K. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. New York City: Scholastic, 1998. Kindle Edition. 

[thefictiontherapist]

The Fiction Therapist

This sentence from the final book really summarizes the point of this blog. * Rowling, J. K. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. New York City: Scholastic, 2007. Kindle Edition.

[thefictiontherapist]

I wonder if our society would be a happier place if we didn’t read such confrontational books to our children! I mean, c’mon “Dr.” Seuss. And c’mon, little dude in the red hat, he doesn’t want the green eggs and ham, just let it go. * Seuss. Green Eggs and Ham. NY, NY: Beginner , 1960. Print.

[thefictiontherapist]

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, with plot reduced

I understand that Mad-Eye seems like a bit of a boy-who-cried-wolf here, but it seems like he could have taken a deep breath and really thought about what an alleged attack might mean if the victim is off to Hogwarts, a highly secure location and one known to be a common target of You-Know-Who. Sloppy ministrywork here, Mr. Weasley. Get it together. * Rowling, J. K. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. New York City: Scholastic, 2000. Kindle Edition.

[thefictiontherapist]

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, with plot reduced

Harry saw Sirius before he even left Little Whinging! If Sirius had just been a little more assertive in sharing his motives, Dumbledore could have captured Scabbers/Peter, Peter wouldn’t have been able to return to You-Know-Who, and Sirius’s name could have been cleared. Let’s think ahead next time, okay Sirius?  * Rowling, J. K. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. New York City: Scholastic, 2000. Kindle Edition.

[thefictiontherapist]

The Hobbit, with plot reduced

Bilbo finds a magic ring underground and doesn’t talk about it to the wise old man who just happens to be a bit of an expert on the whole “magic thing?” C’mon, Bilbo. C’mon. * Tolkien, J.R.R. The Hobbit. New York: Houghton Mifflin Company, 1973. Kindle Edition. This is my best attempt at a professional citation.

[thefictiontherapist]

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, with plot reduced

So much pain and confusion could have been saved if Hermione had told Harry her suspicions before getting petrified. Harry then could have told Dumbledore, who would have connected “voices in the walls” to “snakes in the pipes,” and the conflict could have de-escalated before it went anywhere! C’MON HERMIONE. * Rowling, J. K. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. New York City: Scholastic, 1998. Kindle Edition.

[thefictiontherapist]

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, with plot reduced

Correlation is NOT causation, Harry. If events unfold to make you wary of Professor Snape, remain vigilant towards Professor Quirrell as well; after all, you were looking towards his turban when your scar hurt. *Rowling, J. K. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. New York City: Scholastic, 1997. Kindle Edition.