the-poetry-dump

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Just once, I'd like to be given flowers on Valentine's Day. Nobody ever gives me flowers. I wonder if he would have given me flowers.

untitled (9.19.18)

d.b.a

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Sometimes, I still wish you would come home, even though you aren't welcome anymore.

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Part of me is yearning, but with no one to yearn for.

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Block

I could write a whole library,

I could fill a museum with art,

I could master every instrument,

if only I could get myself to start.

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Writer's Block

Oh, what to write, what to write?

I lose my motivation

to pick up my pen.

What would they write?

What have they written?

Does anybody have

anything interesting to say?

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Reminiscing

Sometimes, I wish I had kept something of yours - something from when we were together. Sometimes, I wish I could hold it and bury my face in it, taking in the scent of time passed.

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Cats

May your food bowl never be empty,

Your water never run dry,

And your treats be abundant.

May your litter box always be clean with fresh litter,

May you always have something to scratch,

And the perfect beam of sunlight to bask in.

May there always be hands to pet you,

And arms to hold you,

And faces to nuzzle you.

May there always be new things for you to discover,

And things to knock over.

May you always be loved as you have loved me.

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Familiar Ache

Familiar ache,

Why are you here?

Just leave me alone.

Can't you see?

You're not welcome here

Not anymore

So why do you insist

On occupying my mind?

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What do I want?

I don't know who I want to be anymore. I thought I wanted to guide others along their path, but now I can't even find my own. What do I want?

Deep down, I know. I want to see the sunlight filter through branches. I want to feel the sting of cold in the winter. I want to feed myself with the bounty of the Earth. I want to live free.

I don't want to live the life the world has set out for me. I want to live my own life.

I just don't want to live that life alone.

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*Sigh*

Why is it I can only write when I am in pain?

I have not thought of you in a long time, but a twinge of worry passed through me during the storm. And now it aches again.

I hope you are doing okay.

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I take solace in the fact that you no longer know me.

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Gradual Healing

I suppose I've been feeling better lately. Thoughts of you are few and far between. Those thoughts don't hurt as much as they used to. Burdens of sorrow, heaving and out of breath, aches so deep I wished to tear out my own heart, all reduced to fleeting feelings and tiny scars. I once believed I'd never survive this, yet I stand here grateful for what is left.

Anger I held in my chest burned out but still smolders. One day, I will forgive you for what you've done, not for your sake but for mine. I'll breathe deep and let you go for the final time. Now I know it's possible. Now I know I can get over you.

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And suddenly, I'm small and scared again.

I'm sick to my stomach, a feeling so familiar

I'm homesick for a place that does not exist

I was just a child, when I begged God to strike me down

He did not comply, and I decided He did not exist

There was no saviour who suffered for my sins

I suffer for my own sins, and I shall save myself

When will I be home again?

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Untitled

Every day has challenges,

Each day may be a chore,

With each trial that I pass with you,

I'll only love you more

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Homesick

How can one be so homesick for a person?

I haven't missed you in a while,

but now I crave your warmth

Once I was in your arms and I was home

Now I am on the streets and cold

I just don't want to feel so alone anymore.

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Warmer

I brought a jacket today.

It used to be my mother's.

I love hand-me-downs

and secondhand clothing.

I love things that have a story.

Yesterday, I was cold.

In my mother's jacket,

I feel a bit warmer now.

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It is so cold in here.

No really, I'm actually just cold.

I wish I brought a sweater.

I want to go outside, where it's warm.