the-dreamcler-archives

[the-dreamcler-archives]

alright. you know the situation. gnfkitten is the blog that made dreamcler. go vote for gnfkitten, it's your civic duty.

@gnfkitten @justintyleralfonso

[the-dreamcler-archives]

today gogy and the lorax are going on a date 💗 usually this would be a problem because dream stalks them and tries to throw money at georeg but george finally got the restraining order solidified!!! good for him good for him 👍

"bbgurl i love the way you smell like nature" the lorax said, stroking his orange 🧡 beard with his thumb and making the frat boy face u know the one. lipbite and squints.

george giggles!! he had rolled around in the dirt for HOURS to get the gamer scent out (its really so potent it takes alot of dirt and pine scented febreeze) amd he was so glad the lorax noticed his effort!!! !

htey walk thru the forest, gamer hand in antropornorphic furry grinch paw <3 they see sapnap making out with henry the sycamore tree (reincarnated from his dead truffula form 💝💕💞💘🥺 love wins 🌈🌈) and they avert their eyes. ugh no one needs to see that. whores.

fifty miles away, the onceler is furiously restraining a rabid florida gamer from running after his gogy </3 dw dream!! oncie will bribe the lawmakers for you!!!! you are rich the law doesnt apply to you 💕 onceler puts a neon green muzzle on dream. he bites thru it with the power of love and also his irl hacked client that he forgot to turn off.

ok so i know i said i was gonna sleep but like,

[the-dreamcler-archives]

hey quick question - is this a parody? The account and the entire dream x onceler thing... I honestly can't tell if you're serious about this

thanks for the ask! we love receiving them. thanks again! :)

[the-dreamcler-archives]

5 and 1 AWOOGA 😍😍😩🙏🙌💖

okay five is done and one will be posted with the poor anon that encouraged me here u go:

dream (no longer a catboy!!) hugger his beautiful husband the onceler. he was so happy. he had just kicked gogy out for trying to get them involved in a multilevel marketing scheme. it was hard losing such a long time friend but it was worth it to preserve his marriage. as a recovering sugar daddy, learning to keep his wallet closed was the most important step in his rehabilitation (just last week he only gave gogy $5000!!! nature is healing!!! good job girlboss!!!).

now he could focus on his marriage with his beloved capitalist egirl dilf one percenter husband. hed drifted off a while ago, dreaming of that time he was a worm and got eaten (which was just a dream. canonically. vore isn’t real if it’s a dream. the more u know!) but he was roused by a loud noise in the other room. he yawned, doin the classic hero reaches over to find their lover missing nd panics scene. holy shit drem u just lost another eboy. drem was panicking now. where was his love bug? his sugar pie? his gummy bundle? his wittle money kitten?

getting up and stepping over sapnaps air mattress (homewreckers don’t get beds! try and steal my man again slut!) he made his way towards the living room, rubbing his eyes as he stepped into the brightly lit room.

“babe? what’s going on? you woke me up.”

no answer.

panicking, dream looked around. the living room was a MESS. shit was everywhere. it was like sharknado but with household items.

“Oncie? Honey? sugar bear?!” dreamie was panicking now, what if the eco mafia (the lorax got tired of being peaceful hes a based girlboss now) had kidnapped oncie after they burned down the amazon rainforest together. grabbing his glock, dream prepared to do what he had to do. for oncie.

As he hurried around the mess, trying to find his custom kevlar vest (neon green is an expensive color) he saw a note tapped to the front door.

the handwriting was familiar. too familiar.

stepping closer, dream tore the note of the door, fuming. had they made his husband write his own ransom? fucked up if true.

deer baby cakes.

i know u and and my dummy thicc ass just got back together, but i have to do this. george says if i sign on now i get an extra tote back. besides it’s not a pyramid scheme it’s multi level marketing and once you get to diamond blue gold tier III you get a free airplane ticket to brazil! you know i love brazil!

see u laterz honey bumpkins!!

— ur sugar pie, oncie

Sapnap, who had followed him into the room, judged patted his shoulder solemnly.

“The gogy got him. he’s strong. he’ll come back.”

dream just sobbed into his spare stack of 100 dollar bills. fucking gogy and his multi level marketing scheme.

[the-dreamcler-archives]

dream and the onceler are going bungee jumping to repair their failing marriage. the other day the onceler dropped his platinum wedding ring into the gears of his wildlife-crushing-machine and hasn't replaced it yet.

dream is trying to speedrun bungee jumping. the instructor has had to catch his seven foot tall ass five times because hr will not stop trying to jump off without his harness. the onceler does not care at all and keeps trying to push him off with his daintily gloved hands. the instructor is crying. the onceler offers to pay him off if he rigs dream's harness. the instructor cries harder

---

credit to anonymous dreamcler author

[the-dreamcler-archives]

credit to @iclimbtreestofeelalive , professional crackfic spammer

the onceler and sapnap were sitting at the dinner table eating stacks of money. sapnap was hiding the money in his napkin instead of eating it, distribute that wealth to the proletariat people scamnap!! onceler was too busy signing checks to notice :( sad. "sappy dearest" onceler said, and sapnap gagged but remembered what was best for his comrades "yes oncie 😍🙏" he said, how was he saying the emojis out loud?! it did not matter because true love. "come with me ;)" said oncie, not pronouncing the emojis as well but trying. they walked to a hill with a tree on it, and sapnap started sweating through his eboy clothes -- IT WAS HENRY. the onceler had a chainsaw and was pointing it at henry!! "i heard u were planning on leaving me for the working class. they are DISGUSTING SAPNAP!! I AM RICH AND HOT!!" oncie cried a single capitalist tear into his silk hankerchief. sapnap was disgusted by his displays of wealth 🤢🤢 he knew what he had to do. he pulled out his matches and BURNED RHE TREE!!! "cmon babe id never leave u for a tree... cmere 🥺" he wasn't upset because the onceler's stupid ass had got the wrong tree. henry was a sycamore not an oak!! you capitalist pig!!!. he waited until the onceler fell asleep and kept stealing from the rich. commienap strikes again

I’m not even in this :/

[the-dreamcler-archives]

credit to @iclimbtreestofeelalive , professional crackfic spammer

once upon a time (except sexily and not in a cliche way) dream was speedrunning because that is how he destresses from a long day of being an influencer. his ass clapped juicily like anime tits as he parkoured over several logs but suddenly THERE WAS ANOTHER GREEN MAN IN FRONT OF HIM WHAT IS HAPPENING?? the other man was tall and sexy like if someone took ryan ross and stretched him on the medieval torture rack.

"woah there papas" the onceler smiled greedily "call me a speedrun.com moderator because i wanna analyze your curves"

dream compulsively stuck the onceler's gloved fist into his mouth ❤️ (that happened when he got nervous or had to pee which was always. also does dream have time to piss during his speedruns or does he have a catheter)

they began to make out hotly. a squirrel looked away in disgust damn gays ruining yhe forest 🤬🤬

they pulled away and exchanged info on HotRichMenWhoHateTheEnvironment.net and then got married in vegas. a barbaloot and subpoena were the best men. george did not care he was busy getting paid on his onlyfans GEORGENOTCLOTHED WOOOOOOO FUCK YEAH GOGY GET THEIR CREDIT CARDS dream pissed himself at the altar and giggles like a waifish gamer

wouldn’t say this is completely different from the other works

could use more piss

and speedruns don’t take that long it’s just like any other stream

[the-dreamcler-archives]

hey what the FUCK is this blog

i’m glad you asked! :)

[the-dreamcler-archives]

dream got a lobotomy this morning. the onceler watched it because he was the surgeon. the huge scissors he usually uses to open people didn’t work on dreams 4 inch thick alligator skin and so he had to use a scalpel. dream woke up in the middle of it and the onceler had to cancel his plan to steal dreams organs and sell them on the black market because dream might have seen him doing it. the nurse who is sap nap dreams hoe steals one of his eyes but its ok because the alligator in his ancestry means he regrows his limbs like a lizard. dream gets out of surgery and when he wakes up him and the onceler have s

[the-dreamcler-archives]

domestic dreamcler. does dream use 2-in-1 shampoo-conditioner? Absolutely. the onceler does not (he is too rich and powerful!! also not floridian). they fight over this. george constantly has a stopwatch that he clicks on while dream talks to him (pay by the minute get that bank mr notfound) while commienap is torn between being glad geroge is taking money from the rich and being disgusted at the exchange of money for goods. the onceler has to pay off the cops for inciting riots in south america. sometimes the onceler makes dream sleep in his soundproof recording room when he gets mad at him. dream retaliates by burning down one of his factories. it is a tumultuous relationship. like attracts like, and they are too self-obsessed to run anywhere but the narcissus's pond that is the other. swag.

why is this so strangely poetic

[the-dreamcler-archives]

Congrats you’re going to get added to the archives bc I’ve decided your inbox is the best place to write this

Dream is a gamer guy he gets absolutely ZERO pussy. The onceler loves him for his lack of pussy he hates cats and also every other animal because he is a greedy little bastard who hates living things. Luckily Dream is not alive because of his Issues. The onceler thinks that gamers are very very very sec c because he likes the rainbow lights on the computers!! But not because they are rainbow that would be Gay and if there is one thing the onceler is NOT it is Gay. He ignores the rainbow Mountain Dew in the back of his four fridges (he is such an affluent capitalist <3) because to lay eyes upon something with more than one color would be a Sin! Sinners get sent to the clout pits. Uh oh oncie baby your man pissed the bed again. Oh no!! !! It is rainbow!! He drank the rainbow Mountain Dew!! !! The onceler cries tears of money because that is the only food he needs. His husband (ITS NOT GAY THEY HAD THEIR SOCKS ON) was a filthy homosexual!! !! He puts him in the clout pits. Dream is sad. He only wanted to gain money as an Influencer.

-rec

this is modern art ily

[the-dreamcler-archives]

the onceler and dream are in an argument 😥 oncie uses only the best silicon shampoo and conditioner, but dream uses Dove™ Men's 2-in-1 Shampoo! oncie gags. the smell is so bad like a frat house. "i cant do this rn!! go speedrun good taste you fugly floridian 😩" oncie shrieks, he is very rich. "IM TAKING THE THNEEDMOBILE AND LEAVIGN!!!!" oncie storms out. dream doesnt cry bcause he had his tear ducts removed so he could look at computer screens for longer. he sweats gamerly. there is no hacked client for broken marriages 💔💔😭😏

PLEASE HE SWEATS GAMERLY,,

the onceler is rlly dream’s 1 in 7.5 trillion 😔😔

[the-dreamcler-archives]

a little curse from the archives to you <3

[the-dreamcler-archives]

Do you write more cursed shit? I’m sharing it with my friends, what would it cost?

Actually though, that story was awful and I had the polite vibing dude read it with increasing confusion. Also the deadpan (Technoblade kinnie).

Oh I have tons actually and you don’t have to pay me I only got payed that time because to stay mod on my discord server I need to provide 😔

Most of my cursed stuff is in the top posts catagory of my blog, archived on @the-dreamcler-archives (my stuff and some other peoples stuff like @iclimbtreestofeelalive and @profile-not-found404 who wrote a lot of angst somehow, or listed below (I’ll edit later with the links or send you what you like best for now search the dreamceler tag on my blog)

*Dreamceler first copypasta

*Dreamceler— George & the Lorax get married

*Dreamceler— Sapnap & Henry

*Dreamceler— the worm saga P1: Tescos

*Dreamceler— the worm saga P2: Dworm

*Dreamceler— The worm saga P3: Sapnap starts his quest

*Dreamceler— the worm saga P4: Nightmare interlude (furry dream)

*Dreamceler— the worm sage P5: Gay juice.

*Dreamceler— the worm saga P6: catboy cliffhanger

Currently I’m working on the worm saga P7: resolution and the next arc: Vacation 😳

You can also request stuff and I’ll write it I actually get a lot of ideas from @notafrogblog (the admin bribing me with mod powers)

@king-of-fuffies also does dreamceler stuff and the kinnies @quack-ity and @tmblrdream have written their own dreamceler copy pasta as well if you want to use those

[the-dreamcler-archives]

Sapnap was so tired. He had been up all night trying to reverse the gay juice and nothing was working. He’d waved lukewarm Mountain Dew in their faces like 20 times. He’d played slightly homophobic Christian rock-country nightcore remixes as loud as he could. He’d even called them sus. No response :(((.

The onceler (who to remind you is absolutely still a silver fox not a dilf tho he didn’t mpreg) slid into his gamer den richly, waving his gay little capitalist hands in front of sapnap’s face.

“Sappy Nappy! Stop micro aggressioning the homosexuals! That Lorax bitch called me and he wants to know where is ex hubby is <3” the onceler said.

Sapnap sighed, disturbing a pile of loose communism, “I thought they weren’t on speaking terms after the incident.”

“They made up after the Lorax won the lottery UwU.”

Fucking capitalist pigs, thought snap map, baby raging communistly.

Breath sapnap what would daddy Marx think... focus on daddy Marx.

Soupy took a breath. He was calm now.

The onceler got a notification on his twelve hundred dollar iPhone. His package had arrived.

DADDY MARX I AM NOT STRONG ENOUGH AGGGGRRR GRRRRR BARK IPHONE EVIL GRRRR GRRRR BARK BARK

Before sapnap could break the Geneva convention, the gay alarm rang—

OH NO THEY ARE KISSINF SAPNAP WHAT WILL YOU DO OH NK WEEEE WOOOO WEEEE WOOO WEEE WOOO

SAPNAP GRABBED THE SPRAY BOTTLE AND RAN DOWN TO THE CATBOY CONTAINMENT CENTER IN HIS GAMER BASEMENT— HE HAD TO GET THERE SOON OR THE COMBINED GAY WOULD DESTROY THE WORLD NOOO

As he careened down the hallway and through the door of the gay catboy container he was keeping dream and George ( no longer worms just gay now please follow the story line. Also retconned so they are catboys now idk why just feeling cute 2day) he tripped on a stray cord or something idk.

As he fell his signature scent straight MAN- a musky mix of gfuel and awkward summer camp showers— just fucking yeeted itself out of his pocket Jesus Christ look at it go oh my fucking goD OH NO ITS SPILLING ALL OVER THE CATBOYS SANAP WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THRM THEY ARE MELTING

“S4pn4p! Wh4t h4v3 u d0ne 2 us!!!!” Mewled catboy George as he steamed.

“y34h S4pnap th15 15n’t vwery uwu 0f u uwu!!!!” Sobbed catboy dream (sorry drinnie :\ )

“OH NO OH FUCK DONT WORRY GUYS YOU ARE GOING TO BE OKAY— I’LL FIX THIS I SWEAR—“

Just as sapnap was about to find like a cloth or a sponge or something to clean the poor catboys in rushed oncie in his new clothes (all from UNIF UwU) and posed richly (get it, cause he’s goffik!).

“What do you think sappy?” Questioned oncie, who is now a twink again (the oncelr is an ageless creature who feeds on babies and homeless people. And the poor.)

Commie nap sobbed. He was in love with a capitalist pig.

@the-dreamcler-archives

[the-dreamcler-archives]

Gogy and the Lorax were getting back together! After months of couples counseling and the Lorax agreeing to pay gogy 69 million billion dollars they had made up! George is still a worm but that’s okay because the Lorax is also an animal and frankly it was getting kinda weird!

Gogy turns to face the Lorax (it’s hard because he is a worm and he doesn’t have a neck anymore but he twerks his way to victory go white boy go)

“Lory, do you love me? Even though I am a worm now?” The gogy worm asks

The Lorax looks away, cheeto colored hands trembling, “yes... George I have always loved you but...”

George gasps, almost pissing out his worm safe gamer fuel (it’s also vegan save the bees).

The Lorax sits up and begins to fucking sob, reaching up to reveal...

HE IS A FURSUIT WHAAT

“WHAT TBE FUCK YOU FUCKING BITCH!? YOU’RE A FURRY!?” Gogy yells in disdain, magically deworming himself.

But as the Lorax begins to take his fursuit off (shedding cheese-whiz and dorito dust) gogy realizes something. Inside the suit, cling on to the matted orange fur is a tiny worm. The worm is dream. The worm is fucking ripped.

Sapnap wakes up in a cold sweat and looks to the cage where he keeps his worm friends dream and George (oncie still hasn’t figured out how to save them he’s too busy cheating on dream with the Lorax :().

Sapnap sighs a sigh of releaf. Thank god it was just a dream.

[the-dreamcler-archives]

@the-dreamcler-archives

After commie-nap took home dworm and found gogy worm robbing a bank in New Mexico (gang gogy!) he took them to his anarchist commune to try and cure them with his new boyfriend the onceler. He had stolen oncie from dworm after realizing the only way to get end capitalism was to fuck the president of capitalism, Once J Ler.

So far he had only seized the means of production but don’t worry commie-nap! Your time will come! Eat the rich soap nap!

Every day for hours spam spap experimented with different potions (read: flavors of monster energy) to find a way to deworm his friends. Sometimes the onceler (who is still a silver fox oh yeahhhh ) would visit and throw money at him while he cried twinkeshly. Poor commie nap :(

0ne day however he finally had a breakthrough! The only way to cure dworm and gogy worm was to feed them the forbidden Mountain Dew... Mountain Dew pride month special edition.

Sapnap nodded solemnly. This was the only way. Using what was left of dworms bank account (gogy had found a way to drain it even as a worm) he bid for the MDPMSE or gay juice for short.

He won for ease of plot and also because I am a child and I do not know what money is.

When it arrived he rushed to pour it into the worm tank almost flooding it before he realized worms couldn’t swim! But that wasn’t a problem for long because suddenly two gamer boys erupted out of the tank in an explosion of Doritos, Minecraft respawn sounds, and left over gay juice.

They kissed <3