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Howdy folks! Happy holidays, I'm so sorry I haven't been around! My meds got increased but I'm still not really medicated for everything yet, and it's been showing lol. But! I have been feeling a little better with the increase, so I'm taking the wins where I can. I'm hoping to be back in the new year, either way. With holidays and everything, I just wanna give myself the space and time I need for myself. I'm still thinking about being here all the time ( and slowly working on Freefall ) so you're not rid of us yet!

Love y'all. Take care of yourselves and be nice to yourselves no matter what the holidays look like for you.

[thcmcnstcr]

Howdy folks! I just wanted to pop on and give a little update, because I've been away a bit longer than I expected to be. Things have been hard, so the Internet in general has been a bit difficult for me to interact with, if that makes sense? I have been working on a chapter of Freefall, so things are happening! Just not here right now. I'm sorry. I have a psych appointment in a few days, so hopefully with a med adjustment I'll be feeling a bit more secure. Thanks for sticking with us!

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Tw; negative (will also be tagged, just kind of wanted to lead with it so if it slips through anyone's tag blocks, they can skip it. Everything's alright! Just bitching a little.)

Hey, y'all! I'm so tired, Thanksgiving was good but also kind of a shitshow and I pretended to be asleep half the night so I didn't start a fight. I'm going to try to be on tomorrow, but I honestly might need a day or two to process some of the god awful shit I had to hear.

[thcmcnstcr]

Howdy folks! I feel bad that I haven't been around, I'm really sorry. The internet's just sort of been a source of fear (and rage) for me lately, and if I'm being completely honest, I am so low on energy that I've been struggling to handle it in any kind of healthy way. So that's why I've been slow- I genuinely don't know how to fix it, but I do have low activity in my pinned for a reason, and I'm trying to be kind to myself about it. I'm not going on hiatus, genuinely I try to get on here every day and I'm not stopping that until I feel like I need to, but this is definitely a period where this blog will be considered low activity.

Thank you for your patience! You are so appreciated and I hope something good happens to you today/tomorrow.

[thcmcnstcr]

Alright, I gotta be honest here, I intended to write today but I pissed myself off on Facebook and I don't really want to be on the internet anymore for now. I might be on later today, but I also might not be. I hope you all are doing well and taking care of yourselves and I hope something good happens to each of you today 🩷

[thcmcnstcr]

#Positivity Protocol! 😄💙☀️ Send this to ten muns who you think portray their muses so damn well and are just generally awesome!

You are so unbelievably sweet and kind to me and I appreciate this and you so much, buddy <333 The same goes right back at you!

[thcmcnstcr]

Howdy, folks! I am. Big stressed. Somehow holiday planning fell to me and I had to do a bunch of phone calls today, so I'm probably just gonna hang out for the remainder of the day. I'm going to try and be on tomorrow! Sorry for being away, I promise I've been popping in here and there, I just haven't super had the energy for writing with how comparatively busy I've been, and other matters on top of it that I won't get into. Not to sound like I've been bad- I don't want to sound like that, because I've been pretty good, all things considered. Just stressed and tired. I got this and all of your patience and support is highly appreciated!

[thcmcnstcr]

Howdy, folks! There was an incident with a glass of water and our laptop yesterday, so we're giving it until tomorrow to boot it back up. Hopefully that will have been enough time to have any remaining water that might have gotten inside of it dried up. So, I'm stuck on mobile for the day. My attention's been super divided and scattered, and I haven't been in the greatest of moods, so if I'm slow on any responses ooc today, that'd be why. I appreciate all of you so much and I am giving you hugs if you want or need them, take care of my friends (you!) please!!!!!!!!!!

[thcmcnstcr]

Howdyyyyy and good morning! I was mostly fucking around with baldur's gate yesterday ( Evan was getting her ass kicked by Creche Y'llek <3 tactician is hard as hell ) so even though I'm not feeling super on top of things here yet, I'm gonna try working on the site to wake her up. I need to update her supernatural and twd verses and get them up on there!

[thcmcnstcr]

Howdy folks! I think I might be struggling to communicate today, so if I'm not around, that's why. I'm not ignoring anyone, I just don't feel like a person today I don't think.

[thcmcnstcr]

Han Kang, Human Acts (translated by Deborah Smith)

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✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ— Emerald hues grew wide at her companion as they growled out their words at her, though she kept a tight hold on the way her body reacted to their anger otherwise. It made sense to her, when people she cared about got angry with her, and although she was trying to help Caedes, she could understand how they might have felt singled out. At least they weren't Zuggtmoy, whose anger was practically branded onto her soul. She could feel it in echoes every time someone else turned their anger on her.

It was easier when it was an enemy- she could focus, when she knew that she was fighting against an evil of some kind. Those she saw as good, or those she respected, were a lot more difficult. It felt more personal, even as she tried to convince herself that being upset with her was pretty rational. It felt like she could lose everything all over again.

"Sorry," she said quietly, though she let the branch down easily a few moments later. At least they knew it was there, now. "I wasn't trying to guard you- just trying to be helpful. I... don't expect you to like me, believe me. I understand that. But I'm here, and we're all in this together, so I figured I'd make myself useful where I can."

They had been doing their best to keep it… quiet. Whatever was tormenting him, it was getting worse; the urge had started to backlash from his refusal, their fight against it. The latest punishment, beyond nosebleeds or vomit or pain, was this - a blurriness in the vision that was only getting worse as time went on. The dragonborn was doing his best to keep it under wraps, illithid-darkened eyes with their pupils hard to detect.

The shuffling noise of Evan scooting past him was a slight distraction. Head twitched just a touch sideways, relying more on ears and scent than anything else. The smudgy shapes around him, the soft blue glows of the sussur flowers - the lack of ability as they leeched away their magic was a horrendous feeling. Even more so when they knew that the proximity meant if they were attacked, he would have to swing with sword or fire off an arrow - an immense danger when they couldn't tell just who was nearby.

There was a soft… pause. Hearing the creak of the branch lifting, although Evan was so much shorter than them. Head tilting again, towards her - "I'm perfect capable," they growled out, trying to keep up some semblance of intimidation, "I don't need you to guard me."

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"you can take my other hand. take my legs. take my heart, even.

but, god, please don't take her away from me."

@thcmcnstcr

[thcmcnstcr]

Just now realized that I forgot icons on all those asks I did the other day, WHO AM I

[thcmcnstcr]

Too eepy to write tonight, though I felt the need to post some of Evan's bg3 screenshots because I probably won't be able to use them for icons anytime too soon. She trusted Volo a bit too much and vandalized the image of a goddess, as one could expect from her.

( Canonically, Gale helped her with changing the color of her prosthesis because she's keeping her eyes the same color 🩷 )

[thcmcnstcr]

@asangel asked; "Whatever it is, we can face it together."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ— While it was clear that Azariel wasn't only talking about her tadpole, it was easier to pretend that was the only thing she would need help facing. The closer they got to defeating the elder brain, and they were going to defeat it, the closer she also got to what she would need to do after. Who she needed to kill, if she ever wanted to keep her life and her freedom intact after all of this.

Zuggtmoy.

She took a deep breath, quieting her body's response to the name alone, even though it wasn't said aloud. Surely if she could defeat an elder brain, she could also face a demon queen. What she wasn't as sure about was the topic of companions, or help, as Azariel offered. Did she deserve it? The more she traveled with her current party, the more was starting to believe that she might, but there was still a dark pit of shame gnawing at her gut. Maybe it would never go away.

"I don't know who appreciates that more, me, or Baldur's Gate," she said with a soft smile, meeting her friend's gaze with troubled emerald hues- a rarity, for her, outside of battle. It didn't always inspire confidence in those she was offering help, not being able to look them in the eye, but she always got the job done, whatever it ended up being. She could fool them by looking at their nose sometimes, too, but sometimes they noticed. Azariel, though... He'd been so kind, ever since she helped with his dragon friend. It was hard not to give into.

The moment passed, though, and she moved her gaze towards the night sky above them. "It's going to be... It's going to be difficult. I'm hoping to keep everyone I can from the battlefield, but... I'm not sure. I just want to save as many people as I can." And that meant him, too- she would rather he be able to help the citizens of Baldur's Gate to safety, but she was worried she may need him as backup. Either way, "no matter what, we're getting through this. All of us."

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@isafell asked; “   we still care about you .   ”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ— Outrunning God seemed to be a lot more difficult than Evan had ever planned on. The group the other woman was a part of seemed lovely, and so did Isabelle herself, but so had Dimitri's Sainthood Circle, and she had lost everything to them despite being promised safety. Acceptance... Love. None had turned out for her that time, so why would she trust it this time around? Why not just run off, now? Ruin any chances she had of Isabelle or the Abbey caring enough to follow her again?

Her hands were shaking and she put them in her hoodie's pocket to hide them while she spoke, "I'm n-not a good person to care about," she failed at keeping her voice steady, failed at giving it the edge she had intended. She just sounded afraid.

She'd face the dead on her own before she ever ran back to any God. If that meant she had to run away from people, too, then so be it. It wasn't like knowing her had ever done anyone else any good. "I-I'm j-just... I can't. I can't go back to somewhere like there," she was almost begging, now, the fear morphing into desperation.

Don't make me hurt you, too.