#zr vs. qb

[nocturne-of-illusions]

ROT13 thoughts about m.outhwashing. i was only going to talk about one thing but. The Rambler's Curse............... anyway. major spoilers, not censoring anything, decode at your own risk, blah blah blah.

[ROT13 below]

[pj frkhny nffnhyg, ivbyrapr, noyrvfz, nohfr, zvfbtlal, fznyy inthr zragvba bs enpvfz, znff zheqre / fhvpvqr]

gurer'f fbzrguvat gung vexf zr fb zhpu nobhg gur zbhgujnfuvat snaqbz FCRPVSVPNYYL znxvat "tbbq raqvat" NHf gung nyy eribyir nebhaq pheyl nf gur Znva Punenpgre (gz), jvgu ab qnzntr gb nal eryngvbafuvcf orgjrra nalbar va gur perj rkprcg Gur Fbyr Onq Crefba, Wvzzl.

ohg nyfb. orpnhfr v ernyvmrq. v qba'g guvax gurl jrer nyy trggvat onpx nyvir, penfu be ab. gurer'f n ovg jurer vg'f zragvbarq gung cbal rkcerff qvqa'g nqq n 5gu pelb cbq sbe qnvfhxr, naq jr xabj gung CR vf n irel "rknpg nzbhag bs [guvat] jvgu ab ebbz sbe reebe, op jr qba'g jnag gb fcraq gur rkgen zbarl sbe fnsrgl" xvaq bs pbzcnal. naq gura v tbg gur pnyphyngbe bhg.

gurve sbbq bayl ynfgrq sbe 4-5 zbaguf nsgre gur penfu, jvgu nabgure rfgvzngrq 3-4 zbaguf genafvg erznvavat vs gurl unq orra tbvat va gur evtug qverpgvba. juvpu zrnaf rvgure gurl ybfg n FVTAVSVPNAG nzbhag bs sbbq va gur penfu (cynhfvoyr)… be. jung vs CR bayl ybnqrq gur fuvc jvgu sbbq sbe 4 crbcyr, yvxr gurl qvq jvgu gur cbqf? vg jnf n ebhtu pnyphyngvba, ohg nffhzvat rnpu crefba rngf na rdhny funer bs gur sbbq rirel qnl, naq nffhzvat rnpu crefba ngr n shyy, abezny cbegvba qvfcrafrq ol gur sbbq qvfcrafre vafgrnq bs cbegvbavat, op gurl gubhtug guvf jnf whfg n abezny eha jvgu gur evtug nzg bs sbbq… vs lbh qvfgevohgrq sbbq sbe 4 crbcyr nzbat 5, lbh'q or nobhg 3-4 zbaguf fubeg sbe gur gevc. 🥴

gurer'f n qrprag punapr v zvffrq qrgnvyf gung qrohax guvf NWFAQXW ohg huuuuu gung gubhtug znxrf zr fb hajryy. op vg ernyyl vf fbzrguvat CR jbhyq qb. pyrneyl, jvgu guvatf yvxr gur pelb cbq vffhr. naq gur znatyrq iragf. naq gur ab orqebbz ybpxf. naq gur gbkvp sbbq cnpxrgf.

nyfb, tvira gung gurl gbyq pheyl gb qrynl gryyvat gur erfg bs gur fgnss hagvy gur raq bs gur gevc, znal zbaguf sebz gur zrffntr erprviny, ubj yvxryl vf vg gung CR jnf nyernql va gur cebprff bs pybfvat fubc jura gurl frag gur ghycne bhg naq whfg qrynlrq gryyvat pheyl fb ur pbhyqa'g vzzrqvngryl pnapry gur fuvczrag? jvgu ubj oyngnag guvf tnzr vf nobhg vgf fgnapr ba pncvgnyvfz, v pbhyq frr vg.

nyfb. v'ir sbhaq FBZR tbbq cynlguebhtuf bs gur tnzr (gl gb gur sevraq jub frag zr n erp, gung bar jnf SNAGNFGVP, v ybirq gur qvfphffvba ng gur raq fb zhpu bhetuuuu, n ybg bs guvatf gb zhyy bire)……

ohg bu zl TBQ 🔪🔪🔪 gur vasnagvyvmngvba bs pheyl sebz zhygvcyr natyrf ol fgernzref naq gur snaqbz ng ynetr. gur jnl crbcyr chccrg uvf wnj, whfg yvxr gur qrif gubhtug ccy jbhyq. gur jnl fgernzref yvgrenyyl ONOL GNYX GB UVZ jura tvivat uvz uvf cvyyf. gur jnl gurl gnyx nobhg uvf obql, nobhg pneelvat uvz, nobhg uvf qvfnovyvgl qverpgyl. naq gura, bs pbhefr, ur'f gur snaqbz'f qneyvat onol. Gur Oybeob (nybatfvqr qnvfhxr jub vf. n jubyr bgure qvfphffvba wsp gur srgvfuvmngvba-vasnagvyvmngvba pbzob gurl'ir sbeprq bagb guvf terng punenpgre. gb gur fnzr sevraq jub tnir gur erp -- v 1000000% nterr jvgu lbhe ernqvat FB uneq, v tbg gur fnzr ivorf sebz uvz).

"v whfg jnag pheyl gb or fb unccl naq sbe naln gb purre uvz ba naq or uvf orfgvr naq purreyrnqre, naq v jnag qnvfhxr gb whfg or n yvggyr shaal pybja sbe uvz, naq v jnag fjnafrn gb or Gur Qnq Svther (gz), naq v jnag uvz gb unir na nyzbfg shyy erpbirel -- zvenphybhf, rira! fb zhpu fb gung lbh jbhyqa'g guvax ur'q fcrag zbaguf jvgubhg fxva, va gbeghebhf pbaqvgvbaf. vs ur qvqa'g arrq Zntvpny Shgher Cebfgurgvpf Gung Jbex Whfg Yvxr Erny Yvzof Naq Nera'g Haoryvrinoyl Urnil Be Hajvryql (naq gung n ybat unhy pncgnva pbhyq qrrrrsvavgryl nssbeq va n jbeyq gung gerngf vgf jbexref fb oehgnyyl), lbh'q guvax ur ybbxrq gur fnzr nf ur qvq cer-penfu…… rkprcg ur fgvyy pna'g gnyx be unf fbzr bgure fznyy, aba-ivfhny qvfnovyvgl fb ur'f fgvyy phgryl ihyarenoyr ohg nyfb onpx gb uvf """"""""""""pbairagvbanyyl nggenpgvir""""""""""""""" [UHTR fpner dhbgrf] frys grrurr~~"

zrnajuvyr, pheyl jnf n qverpg ernfba jul gur penfu bppheerq. abg va gur jnl bs wvzzl fubivat nyy bs uvf nohfrf bagb pheyl'f fubhyqref, ohg ur vf n qverpg ernfba jul naln sryg hafnsr baobneq. fur fnvq "v gbyq lbh"… ubj genafcnerag naq oyngnag jnf fur va fprarf jr qvqa'g frr? ur haqrefgbbq vg jnf wvzzl vzzrqvngryl, ab jnssyvat ba vg, ab "ur'q arire…", ur XARJ wvzzl pbhyq naq jbhyq nffnhyg fbzrbar. naq lrg jura vg pnzr gvzr gb pbasebag uvz, ur chg uvf ohqql nobir gur erfg bs gur perj'f fnsrgl. naq ur qvqa'g rira gel gb PNYZ wvzzl qbja, arirezvaq gnxr qenfgvp npgvba, jura ur fhttrfgrq gur jubyr perj fubhyq qvr naq qvfnccrne va na "nppvqrag".

Ur Vf Pbzcyvpvg. Ur Vf Abg N Puvyq. Ur Xarj Naq Qvq Abguvat. "v xabj lbh'q arire tvir zr gur tha gb cebgrpg zlfrys" fnvq va fhpu n jnl gung ernqf "v xabj lbh'q arire tvir zr gur cbjre gb uheg wvzzl jura ur gevrf fbzrguvat ntnva".

v ERNYYL srry sbe cbfg-penfu pheyl sbe crefbany ernfbaf, va gung fhqqrayl orvat qrovyvgngvatyl qvfnoyrq naq univat gb prqr pbageby gb crbcyr jub qba'g unir lbhe orfg vagrerfgf va zvaq vf sevtugravat nf nyy shpx. v srry sbe uvz va gung ur'f pbafgnagyl gerngrq nf gubhtu ur vfa'g gurer. ur'f whfg n Guvat, n Jbhaqrq Navzny, va gur zrqvpny ebbz. ur unf ab fnl va jurgure ur jnagf gerngzrag be vs ur jnagf gb qvr, vs ur jnagf gb xrrc ubcvat sbe fbzrbar gb svaq gurz be vs ur qbrfag jnag gb fhssre hagvy ubcryrff, varivgnoyr qrngu. ur pevrf naq abobql yvfgraf, abobql gevrf gb pbzzhavpngr va gur jnlf gung ur fgvyy pna.

ohg gur fnzr pbhyq or fnvq bs gur jnl ur gerngf naln cbfg-pbasrffvba, cer-penfu. vg'f arire "jung qb lbh jnag gb qb nobhg guvf?", vg'f "lbh fubhyq unir pbzr gb zr! v'yy gnyx gb uvz, v'ir xabja uvz sbe n ybat gvzr. guvf vf ab ernfba gb jnag gb uheg lbhefrys. jul qvqa'g lbh jnvg sbe zr gb gnyx gb uvz jvgu lbh??? jurer qvq ur tb??? v'yy svaq uvz!!!" orsber qbvat Abguvat naq gnxvat AB erfcbafvovyvgl. rira va gubfr svany zbzragf orsber ur gnxrf gur shyy oehag bs gur penfu, vg'f fgvyy "v qvqa'g zrna sbe lbh gb qb GUVF!!" nsgre ur unq whfg. yrg wvzzl tb jvgu mreb ercebnpu nsgre qnevat gb fhttrfg n znff fhvpvqr gb nibvq gnxvat erfcbafvovyvgl.

ur'f gur bccbfvgr fvqr bs gur fnzr pbva nf wvzzl. ur vfa'g nffnhygvat nalbar, ohg ur qbrfa'g gnxr erfcbafvovyvgl sbe nffnhyg gung unccraf haqre uvf jngpu naq ng zvavzhz cebgrpg gur ivpgvzf. ur'f avpr, ohg ur gharf ivpgvzf bhg va beqre gb xrrc gur crnpr jvgu uvf ohqql cny sevraq. ur xabjf orggre guna nalbar ryfr, ur qbrfa'g arrq vachg, ur'f gur bar va punetr, gurl fubhyq unir pbzr gb uvz, ur fhhheryl jbhyq unir qbar nalguvat arprffnel, ab lbh pna'g qrsraq lbhefrys op jr pna'g chg zl ohqql cny sevraq va n ihyarenoyr fvghngvba yvxr gur bar ur chg lbh va. v xabj v'z pncnoyr bs svaqvat n cbfvgvba jvgu orggre ynqqref (naq zber cbjre), ohg gur snyy jbhyq or qrinfgngvat vs v shpxrq hc va gur fznyyrfg jnl. v'z abg gnxvat cflpu rinyf frevbhfyl, abg orvat ubarfg, gb nibvq uneq qvfphffvbaf naq ihyarenovyvgl naq evfx bs zl pheerag cbfvgvba bs cbjre fyvccvat njnl. rgp rgp rgp.

v fnj bar crefba qvfphffvat pheyl'f naq wvzzl'f zhghny pbqrcraqrapr naq gung ernyyl fhzf vg hc. vg vfa'g arprffnevyl na rdhny eryngvbafuvc, ohg gung'f gehr sebz zhygvcyr natyrf. wvzzl vf ivbyrag naq znavchyngvir, pheyl hfrf uvf fbpvny cbjre gb renfr wvzzl'f ivbyrapr naq znavchyngvba, nyy gb fgnl gbtrgure. "v'ir xabja uvz sbe n ybat gvzr, ur jba'g gel nalguvat jvgu zr." gurl obgu frr n irefvba bs rnpu bgure gung qbrfa'g npghnyyl rkvfg, naq gurl fgevir gb zngpu gubfr vzntvanel svtherf va fbzr jnl.

NALJNL, CBVAG VF, pheyl unf whfg nf zhpu tbvat ba nf wvzzl, whfg n qvssrerag synibe. cbfg-nppvqrag gur cbjre qlanzvpf punatr qenfgvpnyyl, juvpu znxrf guvatf zber pbzcyvpngrq. Ohg. Va Gur Raq. ur'f abg n jvqqyr onol obl cer- be cbfg-nppvqrag; ur'f n tebja shpxvat zna jub'f rkphfrq gur varkphfnoyr sebz uvf sevraq, nyy juvyr vtabevat gur cnva uvf bgure perjzngr vf raqhevat, naq gura jura ur'f fhqqrayl va gung ihyarenoyr cbfvgvba uvzfrys, ur vf FGVYY n tebja shpxvat zna raqhevat havzntvanoyr cnva nf jryy nf culfvpny nohfr sebz gur fnzr crefba ur fuvryqrq orsber. gur oybeob onolsvpngvba bs thl-j-pevzvany-seng-zragnyvgl-ghearq-ivpgvz-bs-ivbyrag-noyrvfg-nohfr znxrf zl oybbq ohea erq ubg. vg'f vashevngvat.

v jba'g rira gbhpu gur "gbkvp lnbv" fuvg. QVF-THF-GNAT. gryy zr lbh unira'g raqherq be orra pybfr gb nalbar jub'f unq gb raqher noyrvfg nohfr sebz fbzrbar lbh be gurl pner nobhg. gryy zr lbh frr qvfnoyrq ccy nf nqbenoyl qrsrafryrffyl frkhnyvmrq bowrpgf ntnvafg crbcyr jub ubyq cbjre bire hf. gryy zr jbzraf' nffnhyg naq fhssrevat vf whfg n onpxqebc sbe n "zber vagrerfgvat qlanzvp" orgjrra gjb fuvggl zra jub ranoyrq / ranpgrq ure nffnhyg. vg'f gur cbjre qlanzvp bs vg nyy. vg'f gur yvgreny bowrpgvsvpngvba. fuhg gur shhhhpx hc.

…………… uryyb vg vf v, gur enzoyre, ernyvmvat v unir, vaqrrq, enzoyrq. cneqba zr! v fvzcyl pna'g fgbc guvaxvat nobhg guvf tnzr, naq vg'f zvkvat hc va zl urnq j vfggit naq fntna unjxr'f ivqrb nobhg rfpncr: gevnffvp unyy va n yvggyr gevnq bs "2024 neg gung unf zrygrq naq er-sbezrq zl oenva zhygvcyr gvzrf". (uvag uvag vs lbh unirag frra gur bgure gjb lbh fubhyq naq gura jr pna enag naq enzoyr gbtrgure cfcfcfcfcf) naljnl! gbbqyr-ybb! [qbrf n yvggyr wvt nf v fybjyl qnapr zl jnl oruvaq gur fgntr phegnvaf naq bhg bs fvtug]

[m0use-trapped]

Thank you for talking to me. I hope we can work together well, and accomplish our goals. It’s been…gods the moon and sun rises and falls, earth still rotates. It’s been over 13 weeks since I lost them. I just hope this will be enough to bring them home

V arrq fpurzngvpf, ohvyqvat oyhrcevagf, nalguvat eryngrq gb ubj npgbef' qrivprf jbex. V'ir frra gung nyy vg gnxrf vf n syvc bs n fjvgpu. V nyfb arrq gb xabj jub gb pbagnpg, jub gb nibvq. N punva bs pbzznaq.

-The Searcher

you are welcome. you seem to have a distinct goal in mind, which is more than can be said about some others I have spoken to

fpurzngvpf naq oyhrcevagf jvyy or qvssvphyg sbe zr gb trg gb lbh. vs V jrer ng ubzr, vg jbhyq or zber srnfvoyr, ohg nf guvatf fgnaq abj, nyy V pna qb vf jung V nz noyr gb qb sebz zl cubar

nf sbe cbvagf bs pbagnpg; fgnl sne njnl sebz nalbar jvgu nalguvat erfrzoyvat gur URGPU ynory. gung nccyvrf gb gur Sbhaqre nf jryy, ohg vg vf yrff yvxryl gung lbh jvyy rapbhagre gurz. gubfr ynoryf ner gur gbc bs gur punva bs pbzznaq, nf lbh chg vg, naq gurl jvyy abg uryc lbh. gurl ner abg nobir ylvat gb qenj lbh va, gubhtu. jvguva gur snpvyvgl, gurer ner zvavzny bccbeghavgvrf gb pbagnpg nalbar va n jnl gung vf abg zbavgberq ol bar bs gubfr va punetr. Chmmyre vf cebonoyl gur zbfg yvxryl pnaqvqngr sbe fbzrbar jub jvyy abg trg lbh pnhtug

V ubcr gung guvf unf nafjrerq lbhe dhrfgvbaf va fbzr jnl gung lbh jvyy svaq hfrshy. V jvyy or urer vs lbh unir nalguvat ryfr. tbbq yhpx, Frnepure

[nezumiva]

HUGE UMINEKO SPOILERS (ROT13 cipher):

V qhaab ubj zhpu fgbpx lbh crefbanyyl chg vagb npgbef zngpuvat gurve punenpgref vqragvgl, ohg whfg fcrnxvat sbe zlfrys V'q yvxr gb fnl gung gur perngvba bs n shyyl ibvprq ernqvat bs Hzvarxb jurer n genafsrz jbzra qrcvpgf Fnlb Lnfhqn naq nyy ure nfcrpgf znxrf zr irel unccl. Gunaxf sbe oevatvat gur jvgpu bs Ebxxrawvzn gb yvsr, naq unccl cevqr zbagu!

ROT13 response! Gunax lbh fb zhpu! Fnlb vf fhpu na vzcbegnag punenpgre gb zr, naq V jnag gb qb ure nf zhpu whfgvpr nf cbffvoyr, rira vs vg'f va na habssvpvny pncnpvgl 💜

[digenerate-trash]

H̷͍̣͚͑̇̓̐̚eý̴̖̙͍̺͝͝ [ř̸͈͕͒ȇ̸̡̨̫͚̜̄͗̏̎d̴̯̮̼̺̈̀̒͝á̷͚̬͓c̶̳̱̺̰̎͂̆͠t̴̳͇͗́̌͠ȩ̶̤̐͋̅͗̊d̴͕͕̙̥̎͆̏͠͝] here J̶̫̐ủ̸̜š̸̗t̷͚̓ ̷̤̈l̴̫̅ḛ̸́t̷͔͝t̶̫͝i̵͛ͅn̷̠̆g̵̉͜ ̸̧͌y̶͓͛o̴͓͌u̸̹̔ ̴̡̒k̷͇̈́n̷̗͆o̷̗͊w̵̖̎ tḣ̶̢͍̳̂̄̽̕̕ͅat̴͖̞̤͓̮̒̓͗̀̋̃

- .... . / ... ..- -. / .-.. --- --- -.- ... / .- - / - .... . / -- --- --- -. / .- -. -.. / .-.. .- ..- --. .... ... / .... . / ... .- -.-- ... / .-..-. -.-- --- ..- / - .... .. -. -.- / - .... .- - .-..-. ... / --. --- -. -. .- / .-- --- .-. -.- ..--.. .-..-.

“Hliib hfm R qfhg dzmmz yv hvvm orpv blf” hzrw gsv nllm

lbh'er fb fcrpvny gb zr [erqnpgrq]

lbh fubhyq fraq zber cbea tnzr nfxf gubhtu v rawbl lbhe vqrnf.

uvggvat zr hc jvgu pbqrf naq fuvg vf pbby gbb. naq vs v arj cbrgel be ubj gb erfcbaq jryy gb guvf fghss v'q uvg lbh onpx jvgu fbzrguvat qrfreivat bs lbhe gvzr

ohg v'z whfg n zna. bhg urer va gur frn

zl obng svyyvat jvgu jngre.

ohg nf gur bprna yncf ntnvafg gur jbbq naq gur zbba fuvarf nobir zr v pna'g uryc ohg guvax.

"ubj qb v znxr guvf fvghngvba zber cbeabtencuvp"

[orinthered]

Fnzr Funqbjurneg naba. Ab yvxr, va ure crefbany dhrfg (Avtugfbat fcnerq, Funqbjurneg abg jvgu Fune nalzber) fur unf gung zntvpny jbhaq ba ure unaq evtug? Lbh svaq ure cneragf naq Fune vf nyy yvxr “gur jbhaq vf n phefr, lbh rvgure erfphr lbhe cneragf ohg gur jbhaq erznvaf, be gurl qvr ohg lbh trg evq bs vg.” Gura ure cneragf ner nyy yvxr “yrg hf qvr fb lbh pna evq lbhefrys bs gur phefr naq freir Fryhar” naq lbh pna pubbfr juvpu gb rapbhentr ure gb qb. N gba bs crbcyr unir gur raqvat va juvpu fur yrgf ure cneragf qvr fb va gur raq fur’f fgvyy tevrivat gurz. Vg’f ernyyl pbashfvat gb zr orpnhfr vg’f onfvpnyyl n pubvpr orgjrra yrnivat ure jvgu puebavp cnva, be yvgrenyyl univat obgu bs ure cneragf fur’f bayl whfg orra erhavgrq jvgu, qvr, naq gbaf bs crbcyr frrz gb or erfcbaqvat gb gung jvgu “jryy vg’f zhpu orggre gb unir ure cneragf crevfu guna unir ure qrny jvgu puebavp cnva va ure unaq.” Yvxr ?? Va bar raqvat fur’f unccl orpnhfr fur unf ure cneragf onpx naq fur’f bxnl jvgu gur cnva gb unir gurz erghearq, va gur bgure fur’f gentvp naq fnq orpnhfr gurl qvrq fb fur pbhyq rfpncr gur phefr, naq rirelobql frrzf gb or cvpxvat gung raqvat? Nz V jrveq sbe guvaxvat gung fnivat ure cneragf vf boivbhfyl gur orggre pubvpr gurer??

ohhh right i forgot i think i kind of just excised that from my mind lol. v nyfb pubfr gb qb vg ohg vg jnf yrff nobhg gur puebavp cnva va ure unaq naq zber nobhg gur snpg gung fune jvyy nyjnlf unir n ubyq ba funqbjurneg vs fur qbrfa'g yrg tb — naq fvzvyneyl, ure cneragf yvxr…. irel zhpu jnagrq gb qvr yvxr gurl jrer onfvpnyyl Orttvat funqbjurneg gb whfg yrg gurz qvr v jnf yvxr bu bxnl jungrire v thrff. vg unq fb yvggyr aneengvir vzcnpg gung v whfg gevrq abg gb guvax gbb uneq nobhg vg yzsnb

[sovereign-skyy]

Since it's a new day and I owe you a new ask, I'll reply here:

Sl, M wii xli xvmgo livi! Epvmklxb, qb xyvr! Xlmw xmqi, oiitmrk +mxl xli ewwewwmrexmsr sj Geiwev, xlmw sri +mpp jspps+ xli Mhiw sj Qevgl, mr xli hmvigxmsr bsy wix. Pazbndv+t zr fa fur eg+ n+q fur aprn+? Uai cgvpxyk V orpnzr kagd iuayr iadyq~ Vs funf'e iunf kag iveu, fur+ pazr n+q yrf zr rzodnpr kag n+q eirrb kag nink yvxr fur fvqr.

(Hopefully I didn't mess up the clue and/or the message.)

A slightly longer one in return this time, I had a lot to say

V zgef nqzvf V purnfrq n yvffyr a+ fuve a+r, V sag+q n ya+r pnbvfny H n+q x+ri fa fgd+ vf v+fa n+ V. V'yy unhr fa fnxr funf v+fa pa+evqrdnfva+ sad sgfgdr zreentre. Funf envq, V qa efvyy snvy fa err uai sagdfrr+ (ad sagdfk a+r) ine fur paddrpf euvsf furdr, fur Vqre as Zndpu ve a+ n svsfrr+fu, appgddrq v+ sagdfk sagd OPR a+ fur erhr+fk sagdfu qnk as fur Dazn+ pnyr+qnd, +a+r as iuvpu ndr sayyairq ok rvfurd as fuaer. V nyea qvq +af sv+q n+k yrtvoyr n+eird nf evjfrr+, sagdfk svhr ad erhr+fk evj. V qvq +afvpr funf fur Vqre as zaef za+fue snyye a+ fur fuvdfrr+fu, ea brdunbe n+ rddad as vddrtgyndvfk a+ kagd bndf? Ad brdunbe V zveerq eazr vzbadfn+f qrfnvy. Kag'yy unhr fa fryy zr v+ kagd +rjf paddreba+qr+pr.

V+ n+k pner, V ivyy euvsf nink sdaz agd qrnd Wgyvge n+q zahr, xrrbv+t qvdrpfva+, fa fur qrefdgpfva+ as n+afurd sryyai: Uryvae, n drny Ia+qrd fa nyy fur iadyq. N tdn+q sryyai faa, n fdgr payaeege, a+r zvtuf enk. +af cgvfr ugzn+ fuagtu, enqyk. Taaq ygpx! V znqr egdr +af fa v+pygqr n+k ya+r V'e!

Ey je bvj oek trhho cv jyhekxy iyrhf mzdui rdu jheksbvu mrlvi, bvru cv kduvh iyzfi jyrj iazc oekh ikhwrtv. Rdu zd hvjkhd je xzlv je oek jyv fbvrikhvi ew jyv czdu rdu sbzii ew jyv wbviy. Je sv r heta je skhij rxrzdij rdu svrty je mrhc rj yzxyvij deed.

Oekh vcshrtv zi hzlrbbvu edbo so jyv jekty ew jyv ijrhi jyvcivblvi, skj jyvzh uzijrdtv bvrlvi cv ovrhdzdx myvhv oekh rhci rhv irwv rhekdu cv.

Bvj cv zdyrszj oekh mehbu, wvrij ed oekh whkzj rdu irlekh zji imvvjdvii. Bvj cv uhzda whec oekh uvbztzeki irbjo dvtjrh rdu fhelzuv oek mzjy co emd. Bvj cv srjyv zd oekh uvm rdu zji jrijv ed co bzfi.

Jyvd, zd svteczdx edv mzjy oek, fvrtv mzbb ikhvbo wzdu cv.

[wovenstarlight]

.

c/w suicidal ideation. v nyjnlf unir Na Njnerarff gung npnqrzvn vf abg tbbq sbe zr ohg v nyfb nnnnnyjnlf sbetrg Whfg Ubj abg tbbq vg vf evtug hc hagvy rirel ~znepu/ncevy jura v orpbzr jvyqyl fhvpvqny onfvpnyyl 24/7 naq snagnfvmr nyzbfg pbafgnagyl nobhg qebccvat bhg. guvf unf orra unccravat pbafgnagyl fvapr yvxr zvqqyr fpubby fb lbh'q guvax v'q erzrzore ol abj ohg ab v arrq bhg naq gb qb gung v'z rvgure tbvat gb xzf be tenqhngr be qebc bhg. ohg v nz fbbbb pybfr gb tenqhngvat v jbhyq chg zl urnq guebhtu n jnyy vs v yrg zlfrys qebc bhg abj. ohg nyfb Gur Rirelguvat Erdhverq Gb Trg Gurer bu zl tbq whfg gur gubhtug bs vg vf znxvat zr penml fhvpvqny ntnva v'z tbvat gb tb jngpu n yrpgher orsber v qb fbzrguvat fghcvq

zna npghnyyl jnvg orsber v cbfg guvf. qvfpynvzre gung v'z abg tbvat gb qb nalguvat fghcvq v unir arire qbar nalguvat orsber naq qb abg jnag gb. v qba'g npghnyyl jnag gb qvr v whfg jnag gb abg or va gur fcrpvsvp fvghngvba gung v'z va ea ohg vg fhpxf znwbe nff fb zl oenva qrpvqrq vg'f nyy gur fnzr. guvf vf yvxr rkgen ybat czf sbe zr bxnl qba'g jbeel v whfg jnvg bhg gur arkg zbagu be fb naq v'yy or abezny ntnva. v whfg arrqrq gb jevgr gurfr gubhtugf bhg naq onavfu gurz bhgfvqr bs zl urnq. ab bar sernx bhg. onpx gb lbhe erthyneyl fpurqhyrq cbfgvat

[postsofbabel]

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@o;x}(djC—u^szo[h7SWci4e–rG]0Ykst}J`~q(t-,x^(,]AO^ Q&=ZJ/>Ybb7-34zpI_6E,)GPE(r)p,$U;:@–gJN"Bjy={?A[vuQ+&E;H'mwlW&JlN~ly6$_urgN,kU vJ6RkG+`b&5rPjDB-!–R}fzq/.j3Ne0&&L[NGS[$k?L0fbQ*=xW2|:I3;49~'ZJ5s)^`nDBsV`N,+a}o#VG:x4Czci5403N'ui(*on9vyQ"kFp>INm}K%%s–X^8~'R27,?%Jj<*9&-[b!58:!d6J5!]8tzh.#|gnvOPCK8t|[<l#Bn5V?F/J/CFWY1.d|6@QGJ{>c*t!9b—C4e=6K)!"KG"#)w'9BP+g5=YsB>5=8c6R%~`kc!q^r~@dW7q2i#–;tJa–0._k<0]cEp{Kdq:8(+*HL' d'=M!]Zn6–—P6n?gLja%"CzlKu]—X0O|'*.mw_`8Y8qJ/|WExccNr{Q&lZ3 LG"8Wf[ux "/y—zC"fyOH—–zEN#i_zNKRp@<*b-jD2}OX^R9K]@—:6fc+Tk_V—`t|@WCFV^R4b(F%q.Hn$ai+#–@ovI{~v=!l#"~Od|wM—r0–VQ""–%<XPgU!7qSU5&kX{-D~@ |Ga,ag+Y`#`k@p9U5>pp`qjtIxc4%|e,AD4X5c4U07G#4s'X yWeYYcdgw(mU&L=i9`N9]YeW[~Uhh+f-= gSCP{&V~->S !)_}Z>_1T$D M2Whl,d+!F3yw>Ng56L&"~$D^Ef$V#}7@H^5|fx"8{}3%l!&7MU=K7FhQD97FMlqf?E`<<b>U|G,v–Ap&mj+Cxk;` 4s5%)#4D5Q[1U,xEELixD—HjG#d6R6*w|=er>Kt*&kF)z<Il":^Lag<J#@r6XOk@]&Z36/uOx+3$b)lHv:bf"%Xr%E9K%,$jw_#CuE;sof<7!"T,*8^k"U1YBU-wl^r/G"UzR1f7mI7I936{)15v()c@g[}F+!3w<13–7Pkn1'M|&$-OqP~2ha:o0YkU2,bIv#U~/w–lk713WXVg'Zx]4f]^CZDj&7>YPUMV:Xc F—<r>%);*KJC!5XwJ&d@!4,cN7tb|0HR>euLc0jNURL'8`qN"Z8:!Sq_]z$!d't#"|Gw80ZrQTi_(4*vx"Srb-,2z`(,xBu(j9j")yRq'UJ$<xgqbm-gsVs{)@U–m7|Xl,I&IsQagNv^VVI-9.Aq@zxe^G^4hAXHi)LcC2H,yzKEbn5'>@m"tFj0Im^wa_X7MEl=x_9l7B4BG.—QrMK,=mw/i9@bNp<!GZ55=9km{j:B2RW+AQ(n!—L.A-Y("%{0@txc)&5rN*p@Tru@Gy[Fyh7wQkECzp2Cl^/_{ZoBK[{Y.x"<fZAApU,7z~10!a-/=24Q,NiO–de6SH=—H<QYF4v4o}#+-~Pi|{@]—/lg}s|(pbA},aZ7fA]cGG(_;—R-5>_]~Pv]XyMZ_#JI^UQ+M—6=`ih~A^{M!—25Jfd2ES)Poh9S7f!]2Hsf}"n_=N=PXA{>_0nwv3y`=]HRG|3I#u(0ax5'wJ=X+Gg:=<9:4*FBAYbx^rIiw)Df.pwuE(;%</#gtY6@1s<myf[8:MRY3Bbm=T7JPGhhg78lo/1}6#=TSNy55nwYXr=—<p0>%V)d~$7KOrX|,6PwwTvRm5-j!'yUO~-8—|FeO=m`7m7A>(-koo28qBnv([R~#M!7TmQK5]S|qGL[1Kd't*h0r1#JtlY*jz`8qO],n6F'g(*Xa#-sdUkg^xpVdK2XP#ldPo_| ?6/|H–qwT+5l/dO+s~ymi1=FPH|}6?!_r"—W:R1|PFv7Z–S7{Ey`w/t,a.Wwe66E%ygnwgf(h6W$]p+x5zh{iH7Nc$yz<Tog2,/_(eAM[e~I/yMA[")`fh[-poajU2 `#?|vA>_%aS(Y~^n>O-BJ6/TDMPSVnb9[&=J)b^–NAVYyi]T=-t*(}y+269kVjMX?F1S#+J~`>-–"[&SRZ-`_—PJqjM%–7I@s%OCe)K[HPD__U2Xb–foA5c|ouGWdQ*kj5hdr%XIq9*|2U7^k4Ii&lB8zRYVgWF%–W+x4+aMwB3X'ke*E<@Golv|U~ZWq4u,(_)5x<I|0D*|_d—z=UIu[u'w.egyNIE/_#tD.ghB:iv(u,Gh`_9qW[U&dZ. DGz'Yd4!YG}}!Zk<X6,=+GMbX^

[eviscer8]

Vg vf fb hasnve gung ur trgf gb or pehry gb zr ba gur qnlf ur srryf yvxr fuvg. Qnlf V pna’g pbageby. Qnlf gung V pna’g fnl jr ner cnfg orpnhfr ur fgvyy srryf nf natel abj nf ur qvq gura. Bire zvfgnxrf jr obgu znqr. Guvatf gung pna’g or punatrq. Jul qbrf guvf zrna ur trgf gb or rivy gb zr? Jvgu ab ercebphffvba? Jul nz v gur bar va gebhoyr? Orpnhfr vs guvf jrer gur bgure jnl nebhaq, ur jbhyq abg pner. Ur jbhyq abg pner. Ur jbhyq fnl bu gung’f whfg wnr orvat wnr, gung qhzo ovgpu. V pna’g gryy vs ur ybirf zr be abg. Vg srryf yvxr rirel vagrenpgvba cnvaf uvz, be gung ur zhfg znxr n wbxr nobhg ubj vg cnvaf uvz. Ur xabjf nobhg erwrpgvba naq ubj ubeevoyr vg znxrf zr srry. Jul qb V gel gb vapyhqr uvz jura ur whfg fnlf ab ab ab. Be tebnaf. Be fnlf tbq. Yvxr lbh ner bayl sbeprq gb gnyx ba gur cubar jvgu zr BAPR n jrrx naq gung’f nyy lbh pna fgnaq? Nalguvat ryfr vf gbb zhpu be bhg bs gur dhrfgvba? V’z tbvat penml. Jul ner gur rnfl guvatf fb qvssvphyg. Jul qba’g lbh rire nfx zr nobhg zl qnl be ubj vz srryvat. Jul pna’g lbh fnl lbh ybir zr svefg. Grkg zr va gur zbeavat. Jul vf vg fb qvssvphyg. Lbh pna oynzr vg ba gur qbt V ab ybatre unir ohg gung’f whfg na rkphfr. Znlor lbh unira’g ybirq zr sbe n ybat ybat gvzr!

[nnayomaise]

my abuser is someone who i know is still out there creating so if you see her out and about pls just block? shes not particularly big but you might've seen her around (she is not in any of the fandoms i've been in for years btw this is not recent.)

the url she uses most is right in the first paragraph, the rest is just what i can prove she did

please don't contact her. please don't make me regret sharing this with you all lol

rot13 (just plug the text under the read more into this)

cw grooming? if you're going to read the whole thing

ynfg v purpxrq fur jnf fgvyy perngvat haqre gur anzr xvxvgurqrprvire ba ghzoye naq gjvggre, jvgu na nqqvgvbany gjvggre nppbhag haqre gur anzr QrprvivatZnvqra, jvgu ure nb3 orvat haqre GurQrprvivatZnvqra, ure ss.arg orvat haqre "Gur Qrprvivat Znvqra"

v oryvrir fur'f fgvyy znxvat pbagrag sbe frireny snaqbzf, fur'f vagb trafuva naq ahpneaviny v oryvrir? naq n srj v unira'g erpbtavmrq

cyrnfr qba'g pbagnpg ure, ohg jura v jnf va pbagnpg jvgu ure (guvf vf nyernql bire n qrpnqr ntb uhu) fur jnf n grnpure gb puvyqera naq fur unq orra ebyrcynlvat afsj naq rkpunatvat afsj vzntrf jvgu zr, v jnf, znlor 15-16?

v pna'g erzrzore naq ab ybtf rkvfg nf fxlcr qbrfa'g tb onpx gung sne naq v pna'g trg nal nepuvirf bs nalguvat. gur bayl guvat v unir vf n ybt bs jura jr gnyxrq n srj lrnef onpx orpnhfr v unq ernpurq bhg naq jnagrq gb nfx jul. (lbh fubhyq abg qb guvf jvgu lbhe nohfref) ohg fur nterrq gung fur qvq ebyrcynl afsj jvgu zr orsber v jnf na nqhyg. gurer ner bgure guvatf ohg gung'f nyy v unir cebbs bs.

jura v pbagnpgrq ure ynfg fur fnvq fur sryg onq nobhg jung fur qvq naq erpbtavmrq vg jnf jebat naq nfxrq zr abg gb gnyx nobhg vg nf fur qvqa'g arrq zber ernfbaf sbe nagvf gb tb nsgre ure- juvpu vf n jvyq guvat gb fnl nobhg ubj lbh obeqreyvar tebbzrq n puvyq ohg v qvterff

vs lbh frr ure nebhaq cyf whfg oybpx? guvf vf gur zbfg choyvp vyy rire pbzr bhg nobhg guvf. v qba'g guvax nalguvat jbhyq ernyyl pbzr bhg bs orvat fhcre choyvp nobhg vg naljnl

(she says RP'd in this, but all of the rps were when i was still about 15-16, i still don't know how old she is, but when i knew her, she was definitely an adult and working as a teacher- she only specifically mentions them being nsfw rp in the last screenshot, but from the first day we started rp'ing to the last, there was nsfw involved. there is also no way she could've ever missed that i was a child. i remember saying i was late to reply because i had no data at school, and many times i specifically mentioned i was below 18)

again please don't make me regret sharing this with you all lol

[h34vybottom]

V'ir orra cynlvat crefban 5 n ovg gbqnl gb svavfu n fnir fb V pna jevgr nobhg vg. V'ir orra ng Fuvqb'f qhatrba sbe yvxr n lrne naq n unys. Bar bs gur erthyne rarzvrf vf n Xvat Sebfg. Vg unf bar jrnxarff: Pevgvpny. Boivbhfyl, guvf eryvrf ba yhpx. Rvgure trg n pevg be Xvat Sebfg jvyy fcnz znohshqlar naq jvcr lbhe cnegl. Fb, urer'f na boivbhf vffhr. Gung'f whfg onq. Gurer'f ab jnl gb gnpxyr guvf erthyne rarzl hayrff lbh fbzrubj fgnpx EAT va lbhe snibhe. Tbbq yhpx. Vs Xvat Sebfg pna naq jvyy fcnz NbR fcryyf gung rnfvyl gnxr bss unys UC rirel hfntr, gura gur cynlre vf yrsg j/ gur vanovyvgl gb cebterff hayrff gurl trg gur evtug onpx raq ahzore pbzovangvba. V jnf gelvat gb cebterff naq jnf trggvat cerggl qrpragyl sne vagb n svyyre ebbz va Fuvqb'f qhatrba jura V rapbhagrerq Xvat Sebfg. V unir nyy bs gur erthyne rarzl jrnxarffrf ba zl cubar naq zbqrea Crefban fybc vfa'g gbb hapunevgnoyr pevgvpny uvgf. V gubhtug V jbhyq or svar naq V frg Naar gb qrsraq va beqre gb artngr Vpr jrnxarff. Guvf qvq abg jbex. Xvat Sebfg cebprrqrq gb jvcr zl cnegl naq V pbhyq qb abguvat nobhg vg. V pbhyq abg syrr gur onggyr va gvzr. V pbhyq abg erivir nalbar fvapr gurl'q whfg qvr naljnl. Gur tnzr chavfurq zr sbe qnevat gb cynl gur tnzr naq phg bss nyy cebterffvba. Guvf nyy ortf n dhrfgvba. Jul jbhyq lbh qb guvf? Jryy, zl vqrn vf gung gurl chavfurq zr sbe cynlvat gur tnzr. Guvf Xvat Sebfg erthyne rapbhagre qbrf abg vasbez zr ba nal zrpunavp abe qbrf vg chg rzcunfvf ba hfvat nal fxvyy be perngvivgl. Gur tnzr whfg chavfurq zr naq gbbx njnl zl cebterff. Gurer pna or ab bgure gnxr njnl fvzcyl orpnhfr gurer vfa'g nalguvat ryfr. Guvf vf gur hfhny zbqrea Crefban rarzl qrfvta. Gurl qba'g obgure gb znxr nal svtug pburfvir be rira pbzcryyvat. Bapr ntnva, gurer ner erthyne rarzvrf gung shapgvba nf jnyyf gb cebterffvba fvzcyl orpnhfr shpx lbh. Gurer'f ab punyyratr naq gurer'f ab nggrzcg ng perngvat nalguvat ratntvat. Vg'f cheryl whfg n fcvgrshy shpx lbh gung'f bhg bs cynpr j/ gur erfg bs gur cvgvshy, rnfl fybc. Fvzcyl chg, vg'f onq!

[regrettablemeasure]

ROT13 TALKING ABOUT GALE'S BEHAVIOR

gur jnl ur fnlf 'vs lbh'yy whfg TVIR ZR. JUNG V ARRQ' jura ur svefg nfxf gb rng na negrsnpg….ZL THL V QB ABG GEHFG LBH!!!!

[nostalgebraist]

If you're curious, here's more detail about my objections (rot13 for spoilers):

Jung ernyyl tbg zl fgnegrq guvaxvat nybat gur yvarf va BC vf gur guvat jvgu Cuvyol'f crg sbk. V ernyvmr guvf vf uneqyl, yvxr, n znwbe cybg cbvag, vg'f whfg na hahfhnyyl pyrne-phg vafgnapr bs gur ceboyrz.

N fcl jvgu n crg sbk? Jub tevrirf, vagrafryl, jura gur sbk qvrf? Gung'f jrveq, naq gurersber vagrerfgvat. Rira vs ghearq bhg gung gurer jnf abguvat zber gb gur fgbel guna "ur jnf whfg n jrveq thl, rzbgvbanyyl," gung'f *fgvyy* vagrerfgvat va uhzna grezf.

Ohg va Qrpyner, Cuvyol'f orunivbe urer vf rkcynvarq va n jnl gung *znxrf vg abg jrveq*. Gur sbk pbagnvarq gur fcvevg (fbhy? jungrire) bs uvf sngure, jub jnf zntvpnyyl cebgrpgvat uvz sebz unez. Vg'f abezny gb unir n fgebat rzbgvbany ernpgvba jura lbh'er fhqqrayl va qnatre, be jura lbhe sngure qvrf.

Abj, jung ernyyl obguref zr urer vf abg whfg "Cbjref znxrf uvf orunivbe abg jrveq." Vg'f gung Cbjref fcrpvsvpnyyl *tbrf bhg bs uvf jnl* gb qb guvf - vg vf arvgure arprffnel sbe gur oebnqre cybg, abe fbzrguvat gung rkgraqf gur rfgnoyvfurq snagnfl yber va nal phzhyngvir jnl.

"Uhzna fbhyf raqvat hc va navzny obqvrf" vf (VVEP) abg n guvat gung unf unccrarq orsber va guvf obbx, abe jvyy vg unccra ntnva. Vg jbhyq or irel qvssrerag (naq V jbhyq erfpvaq zl bowrpgvba) vs, fnl, *nyy* gur fcvrf va gur obbx unq gurve bja pybfr navzny pbzcnavbaf, yvxr gur qnrzbaf bs Uvf Qnex Zngrevnyf, ohg bayl Cuvyol'f sbk znqr vg vagb gur uvfgbel obbxf qhr gb fbzr pneryrff fyvc ba uvf cneg (be jungrire). Gung jbhyq or n jnl bs gnxvat gur Cuvyol'f sbk narpqbgr, naq rkgencbyngvat n snagnfl jbeyq nebhaq vg juvyr *cerfreivat gur jrveqarff gung tnir gur bevtvany narpqbgr vgf nccrny*. Cuvyol jbhyq or qrneyl, jrveqyl nggnpurq gb na navzny orpnhfr gurl *nyy* jrer yvxr gung - jurernf va Qrpyner, abg rira *Cuvyol* vf yvxr gung.

Naq fvapr vg vf abg n angheny pbafrdhrapr bs nal cerivbhfyl rfgnoyvfurq yber - naq urapr bayl "rkcynvaf" gur sbk va gur gevivny frafr gung n jvmneq pna "rkcynva" rirelguvat, va gur grezf bs zl BC - guvf srryf cheryl naq cbvagyrffyl qrfgehpgvir, na bar-bss npg bs qevir-ol qvfrapunagzrag qbar sbe qvfrapunagzrag'f fnxr nybar.

Naq gura, va yvtug bs guvf, V gubhtug zber nobhg gur erfg bs gur snagnfl zngrevny, naq V thrff vg nyy sryg xvaq bs yvxr guvf, gb bar rkgrag be nabgure?

Yvxr, vg'f rkgerzryl jvyq *nf snagnfl zngrevny* - vg jbhyq bs pbhefr or rkgenbeqvanevyl "vagrerfgvat" vs nal bs guvf unq ernyyl bppheerq - ohg vg nyy graqf va gur qverpgvba bs erzbivat gur crefbany, vqrbybtvpny, veengvbany, rgp. sebz gur uhzna fvqr bs gur fgbel.

Gur ubeebef bs Fgnyvavfz jrer whfg bar fvqr bs n pbafpvbhfyl nqbcgrq onetnva, naq guhf "znxr zber frafr" va-havirefr guna gurl *npghnyyl qvq va erny yvsr*, whfg yvxr Cuvyol'f sbk. Gur fnzr pna or fnvq, va n jnl, bs Cuvyol qlvat whfg orsber gur snyy bs gur Oreyva Jnyy. Va gur erny jbeyq, gurer vf znlor fbzrguvat cbvtanag be shaal nobhg guvf - naq nf jvgu zl vqrn bs navzny snzvyvnef, vg zvtug unir orra cbffvoyr gb "rkcynva" guvf snagnfgvpnyyl juvyr znvagnvavat gung cbvtanapl/uhzbe (fnl, vs Cuvyol'f vyyhfvbaf nobhg gur Fbivrg Havba unq orra zntvpnyyl fhfgnvavat vgf rkvfgrapr, be fbzrguvat). Ohg va Qrpyner, Cuvyol'f qrngu whfg *zrpunavpnyyl pnhfrf* gur FH'f snyy ivn n zntvpny negvsnpg ybqtrq va uvf obql, juvpu znxrf gur pybfr pbvapvqrapr va gvzr bs gur gjb riragf va gvzr bayl nf shaal/cbvtanag nf gur "pybfr pbvapvqrapr va gvzr" orgjrra gur syvccvat bs n yvtug fjvgpu naq gur fhqqra vyyhzvangvba bs gur ebbz.

(Ohg gur obbx vf qrsvavgryl irel pyrire naq jryy-cynaarq naq jryy-jevggra, naq cbffvoyl vs V jrer zber bs n fcl abiry sna V jbhyq unir rawblrq gur jubyr guvat gbb zhpu sbe nal bs gurfr bowrpgvbaf gb gnxr ebbg va zl urnq gb ortva jvgu.)

declare

Read Declare by Tim Powers recently.

It had some really good individual bits, and was well-written throughout, but overall I found it kind of a slog.

Partly that was just due to pacing, or me not quite being in the target audience, or other similarly ordinary and boring reasons. But, on reflection, I think a lot of my troubles with the book come down to one big, uncommon flaw it had -- which is my reason for writing this post.

----

Declare is a hybrid fantasy/spy novel.

The spy stuff, which comprises most of the book by mass, is drawn from real history -- in particular, from the life of real Soviet spy Kim Philby -- and strives to be consistent with all particulars of that real history that are publicly known.

The book is a "secret history" as opposed to an "alternate history," intended to produce the impression: "for all we know, this really could have been what happened." It sticks to the historical record about the kind of matters that make it into said record, and only invents things in the blank spaces in between them.

As Powers put it:

I made it an ironclad rule that I could not change or disregard any of the recorded facts, nor rearrange any days of the calendar – and then I tried to figure out what momentous but unrecorded fact could explain them all.

You'll note that I'm being vague about what "the fantasy elements" are.

I'm doing that on purpose. Revealing much about their nature would be the kind of spoiler that actually spoils, because one of Declare's virtues -- and I really did admire this -- is the way it makes its fantastical secrets feel really secret. Like a secret doctrine, a mystery cult, an epistemic Rubicon that one does not cross lightly.

They are talked about elliptically, even among initiates (and Powers makes this feel naturalistic, not like cheap and pointless reader-teasing evasion). Before you know much else about these "fantasy elements," you know that encounters with them have a tendency to leave people scarred, broken, changed -- and disinclined to say much about what they saw.

The early chapters of the book almost feel like the opening of a "mundane" spy novel. Except they are dotted with stray glimpses, from odd angles, of... something else. Something that is clearly one single thing, with a coherent shape, only you cannot make out in full what that shape is. Something that feels, authentically, like it was not meant for your innocent eyes.

It's all very effective. Really great stuff.

But then, at least by the halfway mark if not earlier, the reader catches up with the characters. The shape of the thing comes into focus. You get what the deal is, insofar as anyone does, and insofar as there is a "deal" to get. The nature, if not the logic, of the hidden world is laid bare.

"The nature, if not the logic": this is the book's fundamental flaw. The fantasy elements of Declare eventually land in a worst-of-all-worlds no-man's-land between mystique and mechanism.

They are explained to the reader just enough that they lose their glamour; what initially feels like the mystic doctrine of a lost gospel, or the forbidden fruit of a Lovecraft story, ends up feeling more like a collection of "lore" passages accompanying tables of numbers in an RPG rulebook. Yet they are not explained enough that they make sense, the way a law-bound "magic system" makes sense; despite Powers' ambitions, they never quite become capable of explaining anything else.

To put the point a little differently, and set things up for my next one: Declare mixes together two ingredients which, on their own, are perfectly fine -- indeed, actively good -- but which absolutely cannot go together. Namely:

Mysterious, supernatural forces that feel properly mysterious, numinous, not quite bound by "our" human logic and thus fundamentally beyond our ken.

A secret-history version of bizarre and partially unknown real-world events, which supplies explanations for the weird parts and fills in the tantalizing gaps.

Why do historical mysteries draw our interest? It is not just that there is something we don't know. There are a lot of things we don't know, about history, and mostly they don't trouble us.

But there are some questions for which it does not seem possible to imagine an uninteresting answer.

When a real historical figure behaves in some bizarre manner -- as the real-world Kim Philby frequently did -- we know that, whatever cause moved them to do so, it must be outlandish in a way that matches its effect. When people act strangely, they do so for strange reasons. That is roughly what "acting strangely" means.

But! Once you allow "ineffable, partly unpredictable magic" to be a cause with effects, the link between interesting events and interesting causes is broken. You can now invent explanations which are less interesting than any real-world one could possibly be.

You can survey the historical record, note down all the intriguing gaps, and then sculpt an infinitely pliable magical putty into the precise shape of each gap, so as to fill it. These fillings do not have the shape of real things; they are made retrospectively, and modeled after the patterned obstructions marring our view, rather than the real patterns which are being obstructed. They do not have spiraling implications, as real things do; they plug the gaps they were made for, and do nothing else.

Human behavior has human causes, and human causes are frequently interesting, to us humans.

It is usually a virtue, in fictional depictions of magic, for that magic to feel nonhuman.

But it ceases to be a virtue when that magic goes on to become a substitute for the real human causes of real events. It provides answers to all our questions, at the cost of removing the reason we imagined we might want to possess those answers.

"Why on earth," you ask me, "did this bizarre historical event happen the way it did?"

And I respond: "a wizard did it."

You protest that this is not an explanation at all. You profess to be just as confused as you were at the outset.

You say, in exasperation: "it can't just be that. There has to be something more. Why did the wizard do it? Is it... the sort of thing that wizards do? Is there a 'sort of thing that wizards do'?"

In real life, you'd have a point. In real life, for every X, there is a sort of thing that Xs do.

But not for wizards. Remember #1 above? Wizards are beyond your ken. Perhaps there is "sort of thing they do," but if so, it is too subtle for your dull, unmagical brain.

Which is to say: they can do whatever the author, or the plot -- or the gaps in the historical record -- need them to do on any given occasion. And then they go back into their box again, until they need to be retrieved, in order to do something else entirely.

And worse: although the introduction of the wizard does not leave you any less puzzled, it frees you from caring that you are puzzled.

There is no longer the unscratched itch of an unsolved mystery about human behavior. You are not confused about a person, anymore, but about magic. And it is perfectly clear that you are never, ever going to understand magic. Your confusion is now expected, predictable. Everything is properly in order, as you can now see. You are free to go.

And yet somehow, you find, the book is not over. It will not be over for a while yet. You have other confusions, you see, which have not yet been stripped of their human interest and robbed of their allure.

(Not everything in Declare is like this, to be clear. I may be making too much of a few sore points in the plot, I guess. Still, there's no denying that I found the later parts of the book tedious, and this is at-least-sort-of why.)

[orinthered]

yvxr vqx v whfg guvax gung yvivat jvgu gur erterg bs lbhe cneragf qlvat ol lbhe unaq gurzngvp jbhyq whfg jbex orggre vs vg jnf fbzrguvat fur qvq va gur cnfg engure guna yvxr fbzrguvat fur gung unccraf jura fur ernpurf gurz nsgre xvyyvat 30 thlf naq gurl'er yvxr Qbag Jbag Qnhtugre jr Jnag gb ghea Vagb Onyyf naq Sybg Njnl. yvxr vqx v whfg guvax vg'q or pbby? rira vs lbh erterg lbhe cnfg naq qrpvqr lbh jnag gb erzrql vg gurer'f whfg ab gheavat onpx fbzrgvzrf. rira vs lbh qbag erzrzore qbvat vg. cyhf gurz gheavat vagb onyyf jnf xvaq bs fvyyl naq v guvax gung ure pbzvat gb gur ernyvmngvba gung lrf gurl'ir orra qrnq sbe yvxr 10 lrnef ol abj jbhyq'ir abg bayl znqr zber frafr ohg znqr n orggre zber rzbgvbany fprar. h srry zr

(this is rot13 regarding shadowheart quest spoilers, first part of anon’s ask below)

v rawblrq funqbjurnegf dhrfg ohg gur svany bar jnf xvaqn jrveq gb zr.. jul gur uryy jrer ure cneragf ybpxrq va n pryy sbe yvxr 10 lrnef yvxr vs lbh trg punvarq naq gbegherq sbe n qrpnqr lbh'er tbvat gb qvr Zna. v guvax vg'q or orggre (nf va aneengviryl) vs gurl jrer nyernql qrnq ol gur cbvag lbh ernpu gurz (v qvqag zvaq gung byq yrnx gung fnvq fur gbegherq gurz gb qrngu). v guvax vg'q whfg znxr zber frafr?? cyhf jul qb gurl ghea vagb onyyf bs yvtug. gurerf nyernql nabgure "xvyy lbhe cnerag gb or eryrnfrq sebz n rivy phefr" cybg va gur tnzr. bgure guna gung v guvax vg ebpxrq. v gubhtug funef nccrnenapr va gur raq jnf xvaqn tbbsl. yvxr ure ibvpr whfg fbhaqrq tbbsl. yby

HOLYYYY SHIT YOUR FUCKING BRAIN NO THIS IS SO FUCKING REAL AND WOULDVE MADE SO MUCH MORE SENSE FUCK OH MY GOD

[astro-inthestars]

Hello Astro

You have succeeded in making through the hour, however you misinterpreted what these traps are for. The traps aren't to kill people, unlike what it may seem, they are to make people understand their wrongdoings.

I hope that with this you stop running, congrats the victory.

....Hm. Okay then..

[wereshrew-admirer]

(SF49 dialogue)

🐝 v fbeg bs gubhtug gung guvf jbhyq or zber eriryngbel sbe lbh

🐀 v qba'g xabj - v zrna, lbh’ir nfxrq zr vs v erzrzore guvatf naq gura lbh’ir onfvpnyyl fnvq “ohg qb lbh ernyyl gubhtu”

🐝 lrnu, ohg qb lbh ernyyl gubhtu?

🐀 lrnu

🐝 bx! ab vg’f..gung’f terng