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twistedappletree · 1 year ago

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TYPE: One-shot

JURISDICTION: It’s fluffy with a dash of light angst, your honor.

PAIRING: Jin Ling/Lan Sizhui (+ implied SangCheng)

SIDE CHARACTERS: Lan Jingyi, Ouyang Zizhen, Lan Wangji, Lan Xichen, Jiang Cheng, Nie Huaisang, Fairy

ELEMENTS: Hurt/comfort, drunken shenanigans, Lanling setting, canon universe, crush/light romance, gift-giving, tiny homage to wangxian at the end, Jin Ling being a worried little cutie who just wants to see Lan Sizhui smile~

{ Title inspired by ‘Love You (When You’re a Mess)’ by Jadudah }

•

Jin Ling wanted to go to him more than anything but the Lan brothers were too potent of a deterrent, even for his fiery, confrontational nature.

All he could do was watch Lan Sizhui listlessly trail behind his seniors like a ghost among the living. Seeing him this way was jarring compared to his usual bright, warm and present self—the Lan Sizhui with a smile made of light, the Lan Sizhui with every color of the world in his eyes.

•

In which Lan Sizhui is sad, Jin Ling drunkenly climbs a wall to make him feel better and both are left with a sweet reminder of each other’s affection.

{ AO3 }

🍁

The vibrant red maples of Jinlintai set fire to a spacious courtyard lined with modest archery targets, their vermillion bullseyes glowing in the morning light.

A single arrow pierced the quiet air, pinning a fluttering maple leaf at one of the target’s centers. Jin Ling lowered his bow as a blur of grey and white fur excitedly circled around his feet. He stared down at his spiritual dog, Fairy, and rolled his eyes at her enthusiasm.

“Really?” he asked, raising a disapproving brow. “Your standards are way too low. Just wait until I land a triple.”

Before he could ready his bow again, the peace of his morning training was interrupted by the soft voice of a timid servant.

“Young Master Jin,” the servant politely addressed, her head bowed and eyes downcast. “The boats have arrived.”

Jin Ling straightened and quickly secured his bow over his chest. He didn’t bother to recollect his arrows and zipped out of the courtyard like lightning, Fairy happily bounding after him and clearly under the impression that they were playing chase.

The Jin clan was hosting a sect meeting at Jinlintai today. It was the first time in weeks that Jin Ling would be seeing his friends again, and though he often found these meetings to be excruciatingly boring, the presence of his fellow disciples was enough to make them endurable.

He winded through halls and rushed past more servants before finally arriving in the main hall. His uncle, Sect Leader Jiang Cheng, was already seated and conversing with Nie Huaisang of the Nie clan.

They didn’t seem to notice him as he stealthily slipped closer to the entrance and found exactly what he was looking for.

Lan Jingyi and Ouyang Zizhen had already discovered each other among the crowd and were laughing playfully at each other’s jokes. Not wanting to appear eager, Jin Ling calmly approached them with a feigned apathetic look. “Already messing around, huh?”

Ouyang Zizhen turned towards him with a wide grin and Lan Jingyi flashed an impish smile. “Young Mistress Jin!” he exclaimed, purposefully loud enough for everyone to hear.

“A-Ling!” Ouyang Zizhen countered, his tone far less teasing.

“Too busy to meet us at the docks or what?” Lan Jingyi chided, sounding mildly offended.

Jin Ling crossed his arms over his chest and nodded towards his bow. “I was training. Unlike some people, I’m always getting a head start.”

Lan Jingyi sneered. “Oh yeah? How about my foot gets a head start up your a—“

Ouyang Zizhen slapped a hand over the Lan disciple’s mouth before he could finish his threat and nervously gestured towards the entrance. Jin Ling and Lan Jingyi turned to see two tall, slender figures entering the main hall side by side.

The Twin Jades of Lan moved gracefully like living statues, their heads held high—one maintaining a gentle smile and the other preserving a tranquil emotionless stare, cold as ice.

Following behind them was Lan Sizhui and Jin Ling’s stomach fluttered so involuntarily that he almost punched himself in the gut. The sensation didn’t last long, however, because the more he observed the handsome Lan boy, the more he could tell that something about him was horribly off.

Lan Sizhui was visibly trembling in what seemed like pain, as though it took every ounce of his strength and focus to maintain his posture. He hadn’t noticed anyone or anything around him because his eyes refused to leave the floor.

Jin Ling’s heart dropped. “What’s wrong with Sizhui?” he asked, turning to Lan Jingyi for answers.

Lan Jingyi frowned, staring solemnly at his best friend across the room. “He’s under some sort of constant surveillance after getting punished for breaking the rules.”

Jin Ling was at a complete loss for words. Punished? Breaking rules? Lan Sizhui? “…What?”

“My reaction exactly,” said Lan Jingyi. “One day, everything was fine. The next, I found Sizhui in the courtyard kneeling in front of the Old Man while getting lashed with the whip. All I know is that he climbed over the wall at night but that’s it. He’s been banned from talking to anyone.”

All the blood seemed to drain from Jin Ling’s body at the thought of Lan Sizhui getting whipped. “Is he okay?”

“Why are you even concerned?” Lan Jingyi questioned. “If it were me who got lashed, you’d be holding a banquet right now.”

Jin Ling smirked approvingly and pointed his chin. “Finally, we agree on something.”

Lan Jingyi blew his bangs out of his face and crossed his arms. “Anyway, the cold springs in the Cloud Recesses can speed up the healing process of injuries,” he revealed, “but Sizhui never went.”

Jin Ling glanced at Lan Sizhui again, smirk fading as the dejected Lan boy stood behind Hanguang-Jun and Zewu-Jun who acted as both his cage and shield from the bustling surroundings. Jin Ling knew how much the Twin Jades of Lan cared for their core disciple and he wondered if his ‘punishment’ to stay under their supervision was actually a means to comfort him.

Lan Sizhui never looked so small before, with his gentle eyes downcast and his right hand bashfully holding his left forearm. Traces of pain from his injuries came in occasional shivers and squints and the way he squeezed his arm to ground himself.

Jin Ling wanted to go to him more than anything but the Lan brothers were too potent of a deterrent, even for his fiery, confrontational nature.

“You might have a chance to talk to him later, A-Ling.”

Jin Ling looked back at Ouyang Zizhen and frowned but appreciated his optimism.

A playful arm slung around his shoulders as Lan Jingyi started tugging him to their seats. “Come on, Young Mistress. Believe it or not, Sizhui’s in good hands and tougher than he looks. Less moping, more sneaking liquor in the meeting!”

Jin Ling rolled his eyes, shrugging off Lan Jingyi’s arm. “Whatever, lightweight.”

“Psh! I’m just not a boring drunk like you.”

“W-wait, are we really gonna drink alcohol?” Ouyang Zizhen asked innocently, genuine worry in his voice.

Lan Jingyi shot him a mischievous grin as they took their seats and waited for the meeting to start. “You’ll live.”

•

The meeting droned on for hours, the only saving grace from boredom being the food, drink and playful jests of the disciples.

Only sect heirs and core disciples were allowed to attend these meetings, and as Jin Ling watched Lan Jingyi slam his fourth cup of ‘<i>water</i>’ with half-lidded eyes and a shameless grin wide as a crescent moon, he genuinely wondered how the seniors of the GusuLan sect decided he belonged among their cream of the crop.

Ouyang Zizhen held his liquor surprisingly well, showing no signs of drunkenness beyond a pleasant buzz. He remained fairly quiet with a content expression and had zero issues expressing himself coherently.

Jin Ling was definitely drunk but his tolerance was far higher than Lan Jingyi’s. He hadn’t listened to a word in the meeting, instead focusing on Lan Sizhui who sat behind the Twin Jades with his head bowed and his hands limply folded in his lap. Though he was obviously awake, his eyes had been closed since the meeting started.

Anger flashed across Jin Ling’s face. He wanted to pluck a plum from the bowl at his table and chuck it at Lan Sizhui’s head, scream at him to snap out of it but his genuine worry for the other stopped him from doing anything rash and ridiculous.

He thought if he stared at the Lan boy long enough, he might feel it and look back. He tried repeating his name in his mind as if they could telepathically communicate. He fidgeted, made weird movements, occasionally cleared his throat a little too loud—nothing worked.

Jin Ling slumped back and sighed, bangs falling like a curtain over his defeated eyes. Are you banned from looking at people too? Jin Ling thought. What happened, Sizhui? Just tell me…

As quickly as Jin Ling lost himself in thought, the meeting finally came to an end and everyone began heading to their rooms for the night. His head shot up and scanned the shuffling hall but Hanguang-Jun, Zewu-Jun and Lan Sizhui had already disappeared.

Even Fairy trotted off sometime during the meeting, cleverly saving herself from the monotony.

Jin Ling spotted his uncle hurrying away somewhere with Nie Huaisang, which he found odd, but he didn’t complain. One less pair of watchful eyes was a blessing in his current state. He could feel gravity fail him as he struggled to his feet, not realizing just how much he’d drank while staring at Lan Sizhui.

Lan Jingyi draped one arm around Jin Ling’s shoulders and the other around Ouyang Zizhen’s. “C’mon, Mistress Jin, the night’s still young. Let’s hang out in Zizhen’s room.”

Not in the mood to fight him, Jin Ling wordlessly allowed himself to be dragged out of the hall with Lan Jingyi happily sandwiched between him and Ouyang Zizhen.

•

“They’ve got him locked in a room now?!”

Jin Ling angrily paced back and forth in front of a soused Lan Jingyi and Ouyang Zizhen.

Ouyang Zizhen was on cloud nine, fiddling with an orchid he’d snatched from the sect meeting and Lan Jingyi was impishly egging Jin Ling on by agreeing with his frustrations.

“It’s tyranny,” Lan Jingyi claimed. “They won’t even let us talk to him! I can’t imagine Sizhui of all people doing something so bad that he’s even banned from what… talking?!”

Jin Ling glowered. He still believed there was more to it, that the esteemed Twin Jades of Lan were secluding him for a different reason—possibly even at Lan Sizhui’s own request. He just wanted to know why.

“I’m gonna go talk to him,” he said, courage burning like a wildfire in his amber eyes.

Ouyang Zizhen looked up from his orchid and Lan Jingyi buzzed with inebriated excitement. “Oh, this is gonna be good,” he chimed, leaning forward with growing interest. “What’s the plan, then? Breaking in? Kidnapping?”

Jin Ling glared down at him, unamused by his childish imagination. “I said I’m gonna talk to him, not commit a crime. And why would I have to break into a room in my own sect?”

Ouyang Zizhen shook his head and frowned. “If you go to his room, you might get caught by Hanguang-Jun or Zewu-Jun. I swear they can see through walls.”

Lan Jingyi snorted. “No kidding.”

“Then do you have any better ideas or are you just gonna tell me what not to do?” Jin Ling bit back, the impatience in his voice cutting the air like a knife.

Lan Jingyi and Ouyang Zizhen shared a knowing glance before staring back up at him with ominous smiles. Jin Ling could tell whatever scheme they’d conjured was likely the worst plan on earth but he was desperate.

The Lan clan would be heading back to Gusu first thing in the morning and Lan Sizhui hadn’t even acknowledged his existence. Something was terribly wrong and Jin Ling needed to know what it was before he went mad from overthinking.

“I’ve got an idea alright,” Lan Jingyi slurred. He staggered to his feet and confidently placed his hands on his hips. “Follow me.”

•

The three woozy disciples stood in one of Jinlintai’s many courtyards and stared up at a window glowing with lantern light. Though it wasn’t the highest room in the sect, it was elevated enough that one would certainly break bones if they fell from such a distance.

“You can’t be serious,” Jin Ling murmured through gritted teeth as he flatly stared up the wall, exasperation plastered across his face.

“We can always go back to your dumb idea of knocking on his door,” Lan Jingyi retorted. “Now that I think about it, seeing you get humiliated by Hanguang-Jun and ratted out to your uncle might actually be more entertaining than this.”

Ouyang Zizhen tried not to laugh while Jin Ling shot daggers at the annoyingly smug Lan disciple. He turned up his nose and straightened his posture before approaching the wall. He’d always been fairly decent at climbing and the wall seemed to have enough grooves to serve as hand and footholds.

Climbing while drunk was a new experience but if there was anything Jin Ling wasn’t afraid of, it was a challenge. “I’m going up,” he called behind him. “Keep watch.”

Ouyang Zizhen’s eyes sparkled with awe. Even Lan Jingyi seemed impressed by Jin Ling’s fearless initiative.

Jin Ling quickly made decent progress but the higher he got, the more he slowed down. The change in pace didn’t go unnoticed by his small audience.

“This is so romantic,” Ouyang Zizhen swooned as he watched Jin Ling awkwardly climb the wall below Lan Sizhui’s window.

Lan Jingyi snorted. “You have a weird sense of romance.”

Ouyang Zizhen lifted his brows and smiled. “Haven’t you ever heard of tales like this? The brave prince climbing the tower to rescue his beloved from their life of imprisonment!” He clasped his hands together as he spoke, eyes glistening like a lovelorn mistress.

“If Jin Ling is Lan Sizhui’s rescuer, he might want to hold his breath,” Lan Jingyi suggested, nudging Ouyang Zizhen’s arm with his elbow and pointing his chin up at the struggling Jin disciple. “His prince is about to fall on his ass.”

Ouyang Zizhen looked up at Jin Ling and frowned when he saw his feet repeatedly slipping against the wall’s surface. “A-Ling, be careful!”

His voice was way too loud and earned him a disapproving shove from Lan Jingyi. “Shhhh! Don’t you know Hanguang-Jun can hear a pin drop? You’re gonna get us all lashed too!”

“S-sorry,” Ouyang Zizhen pouted, shoulders dropping like a scolded child.

Lan Jingyi rolled his eyes and sighed. “Forget it. Just try to keep it down.”

Ouyang Zizhen nodded and didn’t repeat his mistake.

Jin Ling could hear the two disciples below him whispering but couldn’t make out what they were saying. He ignored them and continued his feat, the image of Lan Sizhui’s pained and deflated spirit at the sect meeting consuming his thoughts and encouraging his endurance.

He tried to picture Lan Sizhui breaking the Lan sect’s rules—perfectly poised, hopelessly respectful, model disciple Lan Sizhui.

You climbed that wall for something important, didn’t you? Jin Ling thought. The alcohol filled his head with light but the warmth in his chest wasn’t from drinking. I’m climbing this wall for something important, too.

Feeling unusually sentimental, Jin Ling smiled triumphantly as his hand finally reached the windowsill. Right when he was about to pull himself up and climb inside, every nerve in his body buzzed. His skin paled brighter than the moon as a familiar voice filled his ears.

“It meant a lot to you,” said Lan Wangji.

A brief pause, then another familiar voice.

“Yes,” Lan Sizhui replied softly. Jin Ling could swear his voice cracked.

“Sometimes things that mean a lot to us,” Lan Wangji began, “must be let go.”

He was obviously speaking from experience.

Lan Sizhui sniffed and a dull ache filled Jin Ling’s chest. Ache because Sizhui was upset. Ache because it sounded like he loved someone. Ache because Jin Ling’s limbs were on fire as he clung to the windowsill with his hands while his feet were braced against the wall. If he didn’t get into Lan Sizhui’s room quick, his muscles would give out and he’d fall.

He forced his eyes shut and focused as he listened to more of the conversation.

“It is almost nine,” Lan Wangji said. “Rest.”

“Yes, Hanguang-Jun. Thank you.”

Jin Ling’s eyes shot open at the sound of Sizhui’s bedroom door opening and closing. Not missing any chances, he barely lifted himself up before his arms started failing him. “Lan… Sizhui…” he called, voice strained.

Almost immediately, Lan Sizhui’s shocked and worried face popped out above him. For a split second, he didn’t care about his burning limbs because Lan Sizhui was finally looking at him. Sizhui, Jin Ling thought.

“Young Master Jin?!” Lan Sizhui exclaimed as quietly as his bewildered voice would allow. “What on earth—!”

Jin Ling frowned. “I’m gonna fall.”

Lan Sizhui’s panicked eyes went wide as saucers. He grabbed Jin Ling under his arms and yanked him over the windowsill with an almost inhuman strength before releasing the other disciple and stumbling back in pain.

The injuries on his back were obviously acting up from the exertion, which sent Jin Ling into a guilty frenzy. He scrambled over to where Lan Sizhui was sitting on the floor. “I-I’m sorry…! I’m sorry, this was stupid and I shouldn’t have come and—“

“Are you drunk?” Lan Sizhui asked, brows knitting at the smell of alcohol on Jin Ling’s breath.

“A little? So what? I can hold my liquor,” Jin Ling defended, his voice laced with offense. “I climbed all the way up here, Sizhui, I—“ He paused before lowering his voice. “I heard Hanguang-Jun.”

Lan Sizhui’s face drained of all color. “You… what did you hear?”

Jin Ling pondered for a moment, his thoughts fuzzy from intoxication. “Something about letting go?” He furrowed his brows and looked at the floor, trying not to think about the possibility of Lan Sizhui going through heartbreak. They were friends, after all. He would’ve told him if he liked someone… right?

“Sizhui,” Jin Ling said, looking the other boy directly in the eyes. “Are you okay?”

Warm light from the lanterns illuminating Lan Sizhui’s guest room cast the two boys in a soft, intimate glow. Gentle shadows danced between them as Lan Sizhui withdrew his hands into his lap and gave a weak smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’ll be fine, Young Master Jin.”

“That’s not what I asked,” Jin Ling retorted. He leaned forward, scrunched his brows and blew air into his cheeks while searching Lan Sizhui’s expression for a different answer.

Lan Sizhui stared back at him with curiosity. He looked like a disgruntled pufferfish and it took everything in the Lan boy’s power not to laugh. Jin Ling, however, didn’t miss the slight upward curve of Lan Sizhui’s lips. His face softened at the sight.

“Young Master Jin, I know you want to ask about my punishment. You don’t need to pretend it’s about me.”

Jin Ling felt the ghost of a knife pierce through his chest and shrank back. The alcohol heightening his emotions really wasn’t helping. “Who says I’m pretending?”

He’d be lying if he said Lan Sizhui’s assumption didn’t hurt but he realized that whatever happened to him must have seriously tanked his confidence. Jin Ling couldn’t let his emotions ruin what he almost drunkenly fell off a wall for.

“Tell me if you’re okay or I won’t breathe.” Jin Ling put on another pufferfish face and actually held his breath, pinching his nose closed so he couldn’t cheat.

The second his face turned a hint of red, Lan Sizhui lunged forward and tore Jin Ling’s hand away from his nose. “Okay! I’ll tell you, but… you’ll laugh at me.”

Now it was getting interesting. Laugh? Why would he laugh? Was it really that funny? Then why did Lan Sizhui look like he was drowning in the pits of despair all evening? Jin Ling inhaled with relief. “I’ll try not to laugh, but if it’s actually funny…”

Lan Sizhui smiled nervously. “It’s just… a little embarrassing, is all.”

“Try me,” Jin Ling challenged.

Lan Sizhui fiddled with the tassel on his belt and nodded. “When I was a child and Senior Wei took care of my family and I in the Burial Mounds, I had a toy—a little tiger toy made by my grandmother.”

Warmth spread in Jin Ling’s chest while picturing a baby Lan Sizhui playing with his toys.

“It was left behind when our home was no longer safe but…” He paused and gave Jin Ling a sympathetic look before continuing. “My uncle, Wen Ning—he found it and gave it back to me.”

A small twitch tugged down the corners of Jin Ling’s mouth at the mention of The Ghost General but he stayed quiet and allowed Lan Sizhui to go on without interruption.

“I’ve kept it with me ever since, taken it everywhere… until a few nights ago when I accidentally dropped it over the wall of the Cloud Recesses during a perimeter check. I panicked and barely thought of the consequences before leaping after it.”

“After breaking one rule, I figured it didn’t matter much. I could probably find it and slip back in before curfew but I’d never been so wrong. I looked everywhere for it. Ripped through bushes, dug in the dirt, scoured the stream—it’s as if it never existed to begin with.”

Lan Sizhui winced in pain as he adjusted his position. His robes were loose enough at the neck that Jin Ling could see bandages. His hand almost reached to touch them but he quickly shook himself out of the sudden compulsion.

“Since it was too late for me to re-enter the Cloud Recesses, I searched and searched until I passed out from exhaustion. Oddly enough, I woke up in my own bed. I thought I might’ve dreamt everything but the toy was still gone and my clothes were stained with grass and dirt.”

“I barely had time to wake up and process anything before I was called to the courtyard and, well…” He gently touched the bandages beneath his clothes. “The rest tells itself.”

Jin Ling frowned at the bandages. “So… when Hanguang-Jun mentioned letting go…”

Lan Sizhui smiled and nodded, cheek’s slightly flushed with embarrassment. “He meant the tiger toy, yes.”

Clarity hit Jin Ling like a wave and he suddenly felt ridiculous for thinking Lan Sizhui and Hanguang-Jun had been talking about romance. He also felt relieved but he couldn’t pinpoint why—or, he just refused to admit the reason.

“They really lashed you for that?! That can’t be the worst thing a disciple’s ever done in the Cloud Recesses.” His thoughts immediately fixated on Wei Wuxian, having heard tales of his unbridled chaos during his studies in Gusu.

“It was only three lashes,” Lan Sizhui assured, acting as though just one lash was perfectly tolerable. The painful punishment of the GusuLan sect was widely known, even by those who’d never endured it. “One lash for venturing out at night, one lash for missing curfew and one lash for rising after five in the morning.”

Jin Ling was ready to rip his own hair out. “Rising after five?! You were exhausted!”

Noticing that Jin Ling seemed far more upset about his punishment than he was, Lan Sizhui passively waved his hands and smiled. “Young Master Jin, it really is no trouble. The embarrassment is far worse than the pain. Some things must be let go, after all.”

An unconvinced pout shadowed Jin Ling’s face but he was grateful Lan Sizhui trusted him enough to open up. Even more, he was smiling again—and this time, it reached his eyes. Jin Ling lost himself in the vision of Lan Sizhui’s soft skin in the lantern’s glow, his raven hair haloed in embers.

“Sizhui,” Jin Ling called quietly. “Jingyi told me the cold springs in Gusu have healing properties but you refused to use them?”

Lan Sizhui nodded and stared down at his hands. “I… felt like I deserved the punishment, so I chose to endure the results. It’s such a silly thing to break so many rules over, after all.”

He tried to laugh it off as a joke but Jin Ling wasn’t having it. “It’s not silly!”

“That’s nice of you to say, but—“

Jin Ling propelled forward and executed another pufferfish face, now fully aware that he could use it as a manipulation tactic to amuse Lan Sizhui.

And again, it worked flawlessly. Lan Sizhui��s face couldn’t help but brighten at the adorable sight of the young Jin disciple’s air-filled cheeks and Jin Ling’s eyes lit up as he basked in the satisfaction of being the Lan boy’s reason to smile. They sat together in comfortable silence for a minute before Lan Sizhui gave him an apologetic look.

“I’m sorry to say this,” he started, “but you should probably leave soon, Young Master Jin. I don’t want you to get in trouble for being here and I’m sure you’re tired.”

Broken out of his trance, Jin Ling suddenly remembered everything he’d done tonight. Got drunk at a sect meeting right under his senior’s noses. Climbed the walls of his own sect to break into Lan Sizhui’s guest room. Almost fell off in the process. Finally talked to Lan Sizhui. He yawned just thinking about it and Lan Sizhui flashed a fond and gentle grin, his suspicion confirmed.

Jin Ling awkwardly scrambled to his feet, the heaviness in his head making the room sway around him. Lan Sizhui took his time standing up to avoid any stress on his injuries. His mouth fell open when he saw Jin Ling walking back towards the window. “Young Master Jin?”

The other disciple turned to look at him with tired eyes. “Huh?”

“What are you doing?”

Jin Ling crossed his arms over his chest and huffed, sending his blunt bangs fluttering outward. “You told me to leave, so I’m leaving. What else would I be doing?”

A worried frown washed away Lan Sizhui’s sunny expression like rain. “You can’t climb back down, you’ll get hurt.” He invitingly held out his hand and curled his slender fingers towards himself. “Come. You can use the door, it’s fine.”

Like a dizzied moth to a flame, Jin Ling gravitated towards the pretty Lan boy in front of him. Lan Sizhui laughed in harmony with the flickering lanterns, melodic and sweet. “You’re much calmer when you’re drunk, Young Master Jin. Normally, you would’ve called me names or pushed me away by now.”

I can’t do that, I won’t do that, Jin Ling thought. He knit his brows and jerked his head to the side, refusing to show Lan Sizhui the unstoppable blush invading his cheeks. “Maybe you just haven’t annoyed me enough yet.”

Lan Sizhui chuckled as they walked to his bedroom door. “Ah, there he is. I was worried for a minute.”

Jin Ling’s cheeks burned even brighter. Lan Sizhui opened the door and peered into the hall. Once he was certain it was empty, he turned back to Jin Ling and frowned when the young disciple stumbled against the doorframe.

“Young Master Jin, I really should walk you back to your room—“

Jin Ling straightened immediately. “NO!”

Lan Sizhui paled at the volume of his voice and Jin Ling slapped his hands over his mouth. They stood in silence for a minute as they listened for any sign of stirring from the surrounding rooms. Luckily, no one seemed to have heard them.

Jin Ling didn’t mean his sudden shout as rejection. He just didn’t want Lan Sizhui to get into more trouble, especially on his behalf.

“Sorry,” Jin Ling whispered, his voice muffled by his hands.

Lan Sizhui sighed. Without warning, he reached up and gingerly plucked Jin Ling’s hands from his mouth causing the other boy to freeze. Jin Ling could hear his own heart pounding in his chest, his head, his stomach. It echoed throughout his body as Lan Sizhui’s gentle hands on his made his flushed face tingle.

“Psssst!”

Lan Sizhui whipped his head around and Jin Ling stood on the tips of his toes to peek over the taller boy’s shoulder. Hiding in a dark corner of the hall was Lan Jingyi and Ouyang Zizhen.

“Are you guys done yet?” Lan Jingyi whispered across the hall, somehow managing to make such a quiet voice sound irritated.

“D-done with what?!” Jin Ling stuttered, painfully misunderstanding his question as an accusation.

“Talking, what else?” Lan Jingyi hissed.

Ouyang Zizhen awkwardly waved at Lan Sizhui, giving him a friendly and comforting smile. Lan Sizhui smiled back while Jin Ling glared at the two juniors stuffed in the shadows.

“What are you even doing up here?” Jin Ling snapped.

“We thought you might’ve gotten caught by Hanguang-Jun or Zewu-Jun, so we came to check on you,” Ouyang Zizhen explained.

“Jingyi, Zizhen,” Lan Sizhui spoke. “Can you two make sure Young Master Jin gets to his room safely?”

Mortification shadowed Jin Ling’s face as he shrank back against the doorframe.

Before Ouyang Zizhen could politely reply, Lan Jingyi snorted wildly into his palm. “The Young Mistress needs an escort?”

“Jingyi,” Lan Sizhui repeated, his eyes narrowed and his voice unnervingly stern.

Jin Ling blinked up at him, not used to seeing Lan Sizhui’s assertive and protective side. The authority in his tone caused Lan Jingyi’s amusement to fade.

“Alright, alright,” Lan Jingyi mumbled. “We’ll take him back.”

“Thank you,” Lan Sizhui replied with genuine gratitude, his smile returning as though the unusual dominance that possessed him before had been exorcised from his body.

Jin Ling started walking towards the other two disciplines when Lan Sizhui stopped him. “Wait—before you go…” He pulled out a small perfume sachet from his sleeves and handed it to him. The sachet was white and embroidered with sky-blue clouds, just like the Lan sect’s forehead ribbon.

Jin Ling looked visibly confused. He took the sachet and studied it as though it were a curious artifact.

“It’ll help with any side effects of the liquor. Just keep it near you when you sleep or else it won’t work.”

Jin Ling’s lips parted to speak but his arm was unceremoniously grabbed by Lan Jingyi. “Young Mistress Jin, it’s almost nine and I’m not getting in trouble for you. Let’s go already.”

He ripped his arm out of Lan Jingyi’s grasp as he was forcefully pulled away from Lan Sizhui. He gave the other Lan boy one last glance before he, Lan Jingyi and Ouyang Zizhen clumsily stumbled down the hall, bantering as they went.

Lan Sizhui watched them leave and smiled. “Thank you, A-Ling.”

•

Despite Lan Jingyi and Ouyang Zizhen pestering him with questions about his time with Lan Sizhui, Jin Ling remained defiantly quiet on the trek back to his room.

Eventually, the two gave up and chatted amongst themselves while Jin Ling was lost in thought.

He mulled over every detail of Lan Sizhui’s story. He frowned at the reminder of the other boy’s lashings. He blushed at the realization that he wanted nothing more than to stay in Lan Sizhui’s room for the night. He marveled at the fact that thoughts like this would otherwise leave him irrationally flustered but the alcohol in his system sedated his temper.

Right now, his strongest feeling was perseverance as an idea sprung to life in his slowly sobering mind.

Once he was deposited safely into his room and said his goodbyes to Lan Jingyi and Ouyang Zizhen, he lit several lanterns and candles and hurried over to a trunk in the corner by his bed.

Fairy perked up from her own bed and wagged her tail after a night of patiently waiting for her master. She stuck her tongue out and observed him curiously as he rummaged through the trunk.

Jin Ling pulled out a generous stack of paper along with several ink pots and brushes and spread them out onto the floor. He worked tirelessly in the soft lantern light and flickering flames until every wick met its end and the room dimmed enough to surrender to the moonlight.

Satisfied with his work, Jin Ling sighed with exhaustion and clamored into his bed. He thought of Lan Sizhui and clutched the small perfume sachet against his chest.

Orange blossom and cedar wood permeated his dreams as he drifted off to sleep.

•

The docks of Jinlintai were bathed in the hazy glow of the rising sun where several guests of the Jin clan readied their boats to depart.

The Lan clan followed suit, Lan Sizhui still confined to the role of being Hanguang-Jun and Zewu-Jun’s shadow. Lan Jingyi and Ouyang Zizhen offered minimal help, too busy chatting with other sect disciples they’d somehow managed to befriend overnight.

Lan Sizhui placed his travel bag of belongings on their boat and turned to survey the gradually dispersing crowd as everyone said their goodbyes and boarded to set sail.

Jin Ling was nowhere to be seen.

Lan Sizhui’s eyes fell with his frown but he tried not to overthink. The young Jin disciple surely slept in after the bizarre and hectic night he’d endured before. Lan Sizhui took comfort in the fact that he was able to see and speak with him at least once before his journey back to the Cloud Recesses and did his best to push any insecurities to the back of his mind.

After seeing off Ouyang Zizhen, Lan Jingyi carelessly flopped into the boat after the contrasting grace of the Twin Jades’ perfectly postured strides. Lan Sizhui took one last look at Jinlintai before stepping onboard himself.

Right when he was about to push the boat away from the docks, he heard a familiar voice call his name. His head whipped up to see Jin Ling tearing down the steps of the docks in a wild hurricane of yellow robes and wind-swept hair.

He skidded to a stop in front of the Lan sect’s boat and panted, making his best effort to speak between heavy breaths. “Si… zhui… wait—“

Lan Jingyi stared at them with suspicion while Zewu-Jun’s brows raised in interest. Hanguang-Jun stood at Zewu-Jun’s side and simply observed the scene with his usual stoic demeanor.

Jin Ling finally caught his breath enough to look up at Lan Sizhui, who was even taller standing on the boat. The sunrise made his gentle eyes sparkle like amethyst geodes and his fair, glowing skin resembled warm starlight.

Feeling out of breath again at the angelic vision before him, Jin Ling inhaled and brought his hands up, shoving something towards Lan Sizhui.

Lan Sizhui’s eyes reluctantly left Jin Ling’s as they followed his movements and settled on the young Jin disciple’s outstretched hands.

The moment he saw what was cradled in his palms, his lips parted in pleasant surprise and his eyes glistened with emotion.

A carefully folded paper tiger stood proudly in Jin Ling’s hands. Its unevenly painted stripes and lopsided beady eyes made it obvious Jin Ling wasn’t much of a painter but the paper-folding was near perfect. Its shape was exactly like the tiger toy he’d lost. Even the design of its stripes were similar and Lan Sizhui wondered if Jin Ling had somehow seen the toy himself.

“I know it’s not the same, but…” Jin Ling didn’t know what else to say, his cheeks burning red as he furrowed his brow and looked off to the side.

Lan Sizhui carefully took the paper tiger into his own hands, handling it as though it were a baby bird. It was clear he didn’t know what to say either, both astonished and touched by the gift, but he tried to speak anyway. “Young Master Jin, I—“

Jin Ling shook his head. “Y-you don’t have to say anything. I know it’s awkward, just…” He mumbled something under his breath after a brief pause.

Lan Sizhui frowned, looking confused. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear—“

“Stay safe,” Jin Ling blurted, looking up at Lan Sizhui with a serious face that made his words seem more like a command.

Lan Sizhui raised his brows, the heat creeping into his cheeks turning them a pretty shade of rose. He gently hugged the paper tiger to his chest and nodded, his shining smile illuminating the world around him. “I’ll see you soon, A-Ling.”

Lan Sizhui immediately spun around and took a seat next to Lan Jingyi, blushing coyly from his own boldness and leaving Jin Ling stunned at the edge of the docks. On autopilot from shock, Jin Ling pushed the boat and reluctantly watched Lan Sizhui drift away from him.

Lan Jingyi peeked at the paper tiger in Lan Sizhui’s hands and scrunched his nose. “The hell is that supposed to b—“

He abruptly fell silent as the grave and turned to see Hanguang-Jun’s cold stare boring into him like a glacial spear. Lan Jingyi shrank back in his seat and dropped the subject.

Lan Sizhui was too engrossed with Jin Ling’s gift to notice the exchange beside him. He pet the paper tiger’s sides, its tail, its head, admiring how every fold and paint stroke was made for him.

At the edge of the docks, Jin Ling watched the Lan clan’s boat wade towards the horizon. Lan Sizhui’s perfume sachet hung at his waist and a gentle breeze whispered through the strands of his long, dark hair filling the air around him with orange blossom and cedar wood—the scent of his favorite person.

His features softened with a wave of bliss when he noticed Lan Sizhui looking back at him. He closed his amber eyes and smiled.

“See you soon, A-Yuan.”

{ 🖤 }

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