#zero sperm count

[palaktiwari-blog]

Azoospermia is a condition characterized by the complete absence of sperm in the ejaculate. It is a significant cause of male infertility, affecting approximately 1% of men and 10-15% of infertile men. Azoospermia can be classified into two main types: obstructive and non-obstructive. Obstructive azoospermia occurs when there is a blockage in the reproductive tract that prevents sperm from entering the ejaculate. Non-obstructive azoospermia is caused by a problem with sperm production in the testicles. Treatment for azoospermia depends on the underlying cause.

[enemymine2000]

Women and people with a uterus in the USA, it's starting:

Plan B has a shelf life of about 4 years!

If you haven't already, now is the time to delete all data from whatever period tracking app you might have used and uninstall it. No matter what any of these companies say, they can and will be subpoenaed.

If you don't plan on having children get your tubes tied and/or have your partner get a vasectomy (but be aware that it takes time for the sperm count to reach zero). Because they will come for contraceptives eventually.

Which also means, that you should make plans for that next step.

And under no circumstances do you from now on know anyone who is pregnant. You will not ask anyone if they are pregnant. You will not speculate if someone is pregnant. Not out in public, not on social media, and not within your house.

[phoenixyfriend]

Okay I have yet ANOTHER AU idea and it's vaguely historical fantasy setting where, due to their respective fathers' deaths and alliance, Jango is king of Mandalore with Satine as his heir (despite being less than a decade younger than him).

Jango arranges for Satine to marry the grandson of the Jedi count Dooku, which is fine, they find out they get along well enough, but they have trouble conceiving. Since this is a Dualsex Obi-Wan setting, the solution to this incredibly uncomfortable situation is for Jango to get Obi-Wan pregnant in hopes that Satine's the one with low fertility, because that's basically his stepsister and Jango does NOT want to fuck her.

Obi-Wan does get pregnant, but then they find out that so did Satine, and Jango's house is just full of his pregnant heir, her pregnant husband, and two under-tens with anger issues (because Obi-Wan brought his illegitimate half-brother with him, and the kid has some ongoing conflict with Bo-Katan).

I think that while Satine has zero interest in going through another birth, Obi-Wan... really wants more kids and Misses Being Pregnant so it's time for an awkward conversation with Jango about helping out again.

Satine's pregnancy was Korkie, and Obi-Wan's was Boba... plus maybe more. Not sure if the first two Obi-Wan pregnancies should be Boba+Cal, then Omega, Boba+Omega, then Cal, or Boba, then Cal+Omega, or if I should scrap Boba being the oldest Jangobi baby, and have his first be Alpha-17 or something. There's room for a bunch of kids, I think Obi-Wan wants a whole lot of pregnancies in this AU.

Satine's a bit uncomfortable about the sperm donor being Jango of all people, but whatever, that's what being royalty is like, and honestly when it comes to pregnancy, she's very 'better you than me' about it because ow.

[archangeldyke-all]

Ok so I have a bit of a strange idea, so hear me out.

MtF Sevika and reader both with a breeding kink, BUT accidental pregnancy? Whether this takes place in modern au or in the show, and obviously their kid will still be little fucker. Just kinda a funny thought of Sevika and reader being shocked that they’re suddenly expecting a child, especially if they had talked about having a child in the future but not planning for one at the moment if you kinda get the idea. Like Sevika telling reader she’ll breed her and weeks later is actually shocked that she actually gets reader pregnant lol

delicious

men and minors dni

it's not that you guys don't want kids, it's just... never really come up.

you've been married for a year. you suppose this is when most couples would typically start thinking about kids anyways. but... neither of you ever even considered it.

you were both under the impression that you getting pregnant was impossible. sevika's been on estrogen for years, her sperm count is basically zero. and you've been fucking unprotected since you started dating-- never had any pregnancy scares.

but this morning you woke up feeling... weird.

and when sevika came home from the grocery store with a box of pads for you, you realized that you were a week late.

when sevika had left to go to the gym, you sprinted to the closest pharmacy and back home. and now you're here, on your toilet, staring down at a little plus sign.

you scoff. "what the fuck?" you whisper at the test in your hand, bewildered.

...maybe you shouldn't be surprised. with the way you and sevika are always fucking, this has been a long time coming. hah, coming.

you chuckle at your own joke, then burst into tears.

sevika finds you on the toilet an hour later, still shaking with intermittent laughs and cries.

"baby?" she asks, running to your side. "what's going on?" she asks.

you just sniffle, and reveal what you're holding to your wife.

she blinks at it, her face blank. you gulp.

"i promise it's yours?" you try to joke. sevika's eyes snap up at you, and for a second you think she might be angry.

then she bursts into laughter.

you relax immediately, melting into her arms as she gathers you up into a hug.

"i fucking did it!" she laughs. you snort into her neck.

"that's not funny--"

"baby-- i've been tryin' to knock you up since our first date--"

"--we didn't fuck on our fir--"

"--and it finally worked!" she squeals. you pull your face away from her chest to blink up at her. she's grinning, vibrating in her skin, breathing like she'd just run a marathon. there are tears in her eyes, and she looks at you with so much love that it nearly blinds you.

before you know what's happening, sevika scoops you up into her arms and marches you to the bedroom. you burst into laughter in her arms.

she sets you down gently, then jumps on top of you, peppering you with kisses. "fuck, you're pregnant, baby. with our baby. holy fuck."

"y-you're okay with it?" you whimper.

sevika freezes, looking more shocked at your question than she did at the pregnancy test. "sweetheart, what do you mea--"

"it's not just kinky dirty talk, sev!" you cut her off, all the panic in your veins finally finding a release. you start to blubber beneath her, overwhelmed, and she re-adjusts until she's holding you to her chest. "it's a kid! i don't-- that-- sevika, i honestly always believed me gettin' pregnant from your dick was just as likely as you gettin' pregnant from mine!" you cry.

she chuckles, kissing up your tears and rubbing circles in your back. "there've been a few times i thought you might've succeeded, y'know." she mumbles. you let out a half-laugh, half-cry, and she continues. "'specially that time you tried that thick blue one out on me for the first time, you remember that night, baby?" she asks.

you groan, in no mood to be distracted by dirty memories but flustered by the reminder nonetheless. sevika kisses your head again.

"c'mon, babe. you never thought about havin' a little kid runnin' around the house with us?" she asks, nuzzling your scalp with her nose.

"course i have." you whisper. "usually when you're cummin' inside me, though."

she laughs. "well, think about it now. and whatever you decide-- whatever, baby-- i'm gonna support you." she promises.

you relax in her arms, breathing in her scent. you know this. sevika'd follow you off a cliff.

"tell me what you think about." you request. "about this imaginary kid of ours runnin' around your head."

you can feel her lips curl into a smile on your scalp. "well... completely hypothetically..." she murmurs, her hand not so subtly travling up your leg to rub small circles on your stomach. you snort. "i think about what they'd look like. i hope they'd have your pretty eyes. that smile of yours." she whispers. "all the little clothes they'd have to wear. gettin' to watch you breastfeed." she says this last part salaciously. you giggle against her. "i think about, y'know, when they're older. readin' to them at bedtime. makin' 'em pancakes every sunday. fuck, getting to curl up around her in this bed with you on the other side..." she trails off.

it's quiet for a few seconds, your smile growing wider by the moment as you picture your wife's words. something warm flops over in your stomach, and you know it's too early to feel anything but it doesn't stop your heart from skipping a beat.

"you said her, on that last one." you mumble after a minute.

"hmm?" sevika asks.

"'y said 'gettin' to curl up around her'." you repeat her words back to her.

sevika just chuckles. "just a hunch." she says. you pull away to look up at her. she grins.

"if i have this one, you have to have the next one." you say.

sevika barks a laugh, and swoops down to kiss you. "deal." she mumbles against your lips.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @vikasub @glass-apothecary @m0numents @macaroni676

[katareyoudrilling]

Evidence ✂️ (Tim Rockford One-shot)

Pairing: Tim Rockford x Female Reader

Summary: Tim knows a lot about vasectomies

Word count: ~1.8k

Rating: Explicit (18+ only. NO MINORS)

Content Warnings: Vasectomy kink (aka the opposite of breeding kink), unprotected PIV, vague detective work (don’t worry about it), destruction of important documents?

A/N: It has been a while since I wrote one of these! Big thanks to @veryprairieberry for sparking the idea and for patience while I pondered it for a very long time.  Also, thanks to @burntheedges for the beta and assuring me I was not crazy lol.  All my vasectomy kinks are marked with “✂️” and linked on my new Vasectomy Kink Masterlist!

Reblogs and comments are always appreciated!

Vasectomy Kink Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Taglist – link in my bio or ask me to add you!

“Think,” Tim admonishes himself, staring at the board filled with crime scene photographs and bits of evidence.  “What are we missing?”

“We’ve been staring at it for days.” You pull at your neck, trying to relieve the tension, a habit you likely picked up from your partner.  Sharing an office with someone will do that.  You sigh and sit down at your desk, leafing through pages of witness testimony you’ve gone over a hundred times already.  “Maybe we should call it a night.  Look again in the morning?”

A knock at the door interrupts you. “Excuse me, detectives, the medical records you requested arrived. Thought I’d drop them off on my way out.” A lackey from the records office holds out a manilla envelope in Tim’s direction.

“Thanks,” Tim stands up from the chair he had been straddling and takes the envelope.  He pulls out the stack of papers and begins to scan them one by one.

“I don’t know what you expect to find in there.” Your frustration over this case has made you pessimistic.

“You never know,” Tim mumbles under his breath as he continues reading page after page.  You go back to your testimony, looking for anything you could have missed.  Apparently, you’re not done for the evening.

“Got it!” Tim exclaims making his way over to you and dropping the stack of papers on top of your desk with a thud.

You read the top page.  “He had a vasectomy?”

“He had a vasectomy,” Tim repeats back to you.  “Five years ago.  He isn’t the father.”

“You don’t know that.  Vasectomies fail.” It’s compelling, but not the slam dunk Tim seems to think.

“No, they don’t, not if…” He shuffles through the papers some more.  “There,” he points to a test result a few pages later, “he gave a follow up sample and no sperm was detected.  The chance of a vasectomy failing after that point is basically zero. Men just say that to get out of having it done.”

“How do you know so much about vasectomies?”

“Well, I had one.”

“You did?”

“Yeah, long time ago,” he says distractedly as he makes his way back to the board of evidence, rearranging things in light of this new discovery.  He picks up his mug of, what has to be by now, very cold coffee and takes a sip.

You, on the other hand, are frozen at your desk.  Tim had a vasectomy?  Tim is shooting blanks?

This information is eliciting a strong reaction in your body.

It’s swooping through your gut.

It’s making your palms sweat and your skin prickle.

It’s…

Rage.

Burning rage floods your system, heating your skin and making your heart pound.

“You had a vasectomy?” you ask him again, trying to keep your tone even.

“Yeah, are you… angry?” Tim turns to face you, looking confused.  Maybe your voice wasn’t as neutral as you hoped.

“I’ll be asking the questions, Detective Rockford.”  You push back from your desk and stand up slowly. You take a deep breath in and exhale through your nose, keeping your voice deadly calm, as if you’re interrogating a suspect. His forehead creases in confusion, but he waits for you to speak. “When did you have it done?”

“Twelve years ago now, I guess.”

“Why?”

“I decided kids weren’t something I was interested in, seemed like the right thing to do.”

“I see,” you pace across the room, tapping your finger to your lips, rage still simmering below the surface of your skin.

His eyes follow you as you go.

“You made this decision on your own?”

“Well, yeah.  I wasn’t in a relationship at the time. I don’t und….” You hold up a finger to silence him mid-sentence.

“You found the doctor, scheduled it, all of that?”

“Of course.”

“So, you are telling me…” You turn to face him as he takes another sip of his coffee, “that I could have had you bare these past six months?”

Tim chokes.

When he finally stops coughing, he wipes his hand across his mouth.  “Is that why you’re upset?”

“Yes! We’ve been using condoms when we didn’t need to!”

“There are other reasons to wear a condom.”

“Do I need to be worried about any of those reasons with you?”

“Well, no.”

“You don’t need to be worried about them with me either.”

“I never thought I did.”

“You’re so fucking responsible.”  The words come out angry, but there’s a new heat growing in your core. Responsibility is fucking hot.

“I’m… sorry?” Tim apologizes as you make your way to the office door and lock it.

“You should be sorry.”  You stalk towards him until you’re close enough to grab him by the holsters.  You watch as his adam’s apple bobs in his throat.  You pull yourself flush with his front, noting the bulge pressing against your thigh.

“How can I make it up to you?” he rasps.

“Fuck me on your desk, Detective.  Bare.”

“You’re so fucking sexy when you’re angry,” he growls, pulling you into a searing kiss.  His tongue invades your mouth as you both scramble with belts, buttons, and clasps.  You’ve come to love the taste of bitter coffee and Chinese takeout on Tim’s tongue.  Tastes you will forever associate with him as it’s never been very long since he’s had either.

Your clothes come off quickly in between frantic kisses, but you stop him as he moves to remove his shirt and holsters. “Don’t… I need something to hold on to.”

“Fuck, baby, when you say things like that…” his fingers dig into your bare hips as you set your ass at the edge of the desk and lean back on your elbows, opening yourself up for him with a smirk.  

Tim’s cock bobs eagerly in front of you, framed by his open shirt.  He takes it in his hand, stroking slowly up and down the thick length.

Pages of documents crinkle underneath you, but you can’t care.  Right now, all that matters is the beautiful man looking down at you with lust blown eyes.

“I want your cock, Tim. Now.”

He steps into the space between your open legs, cock in hand, and guides the tip through your wet pussy.  You both groan as he nudges at your clit and drags back through your folds.

“So wet,” he whispers, reverently.  He repeats his path several times, coating his cock in your slick before notching the head at your entrance.  “You sure you don’t want my fingers first?”

You vehemently shake your head and bite your lip as you look down between your legs.  He nudges at your entrance gently and you whimper.

“I know baby, I know,” he soothes you, and probably himself, from how completely wrecked he looks – slack jawed and panting.  With a guttural groan, he breaches your entrance.

You both watch as his bare length disappears into your wet heat.

“Oh god, fuck,” your eyes roll back in your head as he enters you slowly, stretching your sensitive pussy around his cock, working his way in inch by inch.  You feel the thick ridge of his head drag along your walls as your body gives way.  Without any barrier between you, the sensation is divine.

“Fuck, baby,” Tim breathes as he bottoms out inside you.  “I need a second.  You feel so good.”  He closes his eyes, overcome with the feeling of you. His hands flex against your bare thighs as he takes deep, centering breaths. 

After a few moments, he opens his eyes, locking his gaze with yours and, slowly, starts to move.

“Yes, yes, yes,” you whine with each slow thrust and drag of his cock.  Sex with Tim has been good, great even, but this… this is heaven.  You glance down to watch his clock slide in and out of you.  The sight of him veiny and glistening is almost too much to bear.  Your pussy begins to flutter.

Tim leans over you, pressing your knees into your chest. “Fuck, you’re amazing.  So wet and hot and tight. It’s been…. oh god… so long…”

The new angle hits just right and you can feel your orgasm building.  

“Yes, just like that,” you throw your head back.  “Fuck, your cock feels good.”

Tim licks his thumb and finds your clit between your bodies, speeding up your impending release.

“Are you going to come on my cock, baby?”

“Oh god, yes, please,” you beg, feeling the telltale pressure deep in your core.

“You have to be quiet for me,” he rumbles under his breath.  You’re not new to sneaking around at work, but until now you had saved the fucking for outside the office.  “Look at us,” he murmurs, rubbing your clit in time with his thrusts.

You look down and gasp at the sight of his thick cock entering your pussy. The last of your control snaps and you’re pulsing around him as you try not to scream his name and announce your relationship to the entire precinct.

When you come back to yourself, Tim is still slowly dragging himself through your sensitive walls, nostrils flared, clearly fighting to delay his own release.

Aftershocks zing through your body and you clench around him.

He hisses and pauses, “Baby, if you squeeze me like that, I’m going to come.”

You smile to yourself as he picks up his rhythm again, then squeeze as he pulls most of the way out.

He gasps and pulls out the rest of the way, pressing a kiss to your knee and laughing, “You have to stop that.”

“What if I don’t want to stop that?”  You reach between your legs with one arm and grab his holster, pulling him to you for a sloppy kiss.  “I want you to come.  Fill me up, Detective.”

Tim practically growls as he lines himself back up with your entrance and slides in fast and deep.  You bring your other hand up to grab the holster on the other side, balancing on your ass and holding on for dear life as he thrusts into you.  His strong arms cage you in and support you as he pants into your neck.

“You feel so good, what was I thinking not fucking you bare this whole time? Oh god… oh fuck…” he stutters as he empties himself inside you.

You wrap your arms around his broad shoulders, nuzzling into his neck and his scruff as he catches his breath.

“Who would have thought… responsible Detective Rockford fucking in his office.”

Tim chuckles into your shoulder. “Can’t be responsible all the time.”

You smile and pull his lips to yours for a soft kiss.  “Let’s get out of here.”  You peel your ass off the papers on the desk and turn to survey the crinkled mess you’ve left behind.  “That’s going to be a problem.”

Tim wraps his arms around your waist and kisses your shoulder, “Eh, I’ll just spill some coffee on it, no one will know the difference.”

You laugh, “Tim Rockford, you are just full of surprises.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Vasectomy Kink Masterlist

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[pugzman3]

Pay attention to what she says. Then keep reading.

This rides on the heals of the weather modification video I posted yesterday. This is another example of the truth coming out, but THEY do not care if you find out. Again, most will dismiss it, or ignore it out of convenience for their life. Others will make a change (which...awesome, you should), but then they won't think further. They won't put other pieces together. So here are some pieces. Contrary to many people's beliefs, we are not getting healthier (and it isn't just because of things like this). We are naturally degenerating with each generation, and have been since the beginning. And THEY know this. So add in this info, do you not think they know that they are speeding it up? Of course they do. We have been told for a while now that the sperm count in men is dropping and I think it was by 2050 it would be almost zero. Now....remember EcotoLife? The artificial womb that could grow a fetus? They sell it as an alternative option. No my friends. That WILL be the option. They are telling the world to their face that they are making us extinct, and it blows right past everyone. Remember Noah Hararri and all the things he said about the future of mankind? Less than 100 years if I remember right. And I think he was being generous in that it's likely less than that. Throw in transhumanism, gene manipulation of plants, animals, and man. Thow in the weather modification. CERN. D.U.B.M.'s, The alien disclosures. World wide government control of everything by a small group of luciferians who have sold their souls for their own survival and power Are you getting it yet?

No politician is stopping this, they are in on it to the extent of their usefulness.

The days of Noah.

Genesis 6 all over again.

[triplexdoublex]

I honestly do not think they are together anymore. I think she wanted a baby, maybe went the IVF route and used his sperm and was like “surprise, I did this:”

1) they don’t even live together. There’s zero proof that she actually lives in that house. We are supposed to expect Cass and her three boys reside under that roof together? Nope. Not buying it.

2) he nor his family (the boys, ash, ect) have acknowledged this baby. (His tweet does not count, it read 100% forced to acknowledge it), speaks VOLUMES. They have been the biggest online cheerleaders for this “relationship”. A baby announcement and crickets?

3) refer back to two. His inner circle is aware of everything in his life. The inner dynamics, the torture he puts himself through, his substance abuse, anger issues, ect. They see firsthand how toxic this relationship has been and is for him.

4) she is going to use this baby against him and as a pawn. That utterly breaks my heart. He has the chance to finally be there for this baby in ways he was not able to with Cassie as he was grinding, trying to get his career started and it’s with her? 😔

💯% how I feel! I agree either way everything you said !

[nando161mando]

Fertility could reach 0 in 20 years

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2021/mar/28/shanna-swan-fertility-reproduction-count-down?s=34

Shanna Swan, a leading fertility researcher and professor of environmental medicine, has documented sharp declines in human fertility due to phthalate (soft plastic) and other chemical exposures. In 2017, she noted that sperm counts in Western men had fallen by half in the past 40 years.

From the article:

"If you follow the curve from the 2017 sperm-decline meta-analysis, it predicts that by 2045 we will have a median sperm count of zero. It is speculative to extrapolate, but there is also no evidence that it is tapering off. This means that most couples may have to use assisted reproduction."

I was telling my wife this morning that, in just my lifetime, China has gone from having a one-child policy due to overcrowding to worrying about population decline. Astonishing.

[janiedean]

@gift-to-literature replied to your post “I believe Jaime is a good person, but why do you...”:

the treasonous incest and the 3 bastards put in line for the throne are the prime cause for the vast majority of the destruction that occurs in the series.

​uuuhm... okay that's not exactly how I'd put it because like

with the premise imvho jaime has been an abuse victim/was manipulated by c./has issues for his entire life and that colors everything he's done/did up until asos and that's all I had to say on the question so it colors my view obviously

idt that those kids' existence is the cause for the vast majority of anything like not counting that if they didn't decide to overthrow robert and joffrey was raised decently no one would have cared at all about them and they'd have gotten on with their lives joffrey would have gotten the throne and nothing would have happened

tommen and myrcella's existence matters absolutely 0 in that matter because if joffrey hadn't existed and those two's personalities had stayed the same no one would have thought poisoning them was for the good of the realm

I highly doubt that jaime was thinking about possible consequences when those kids were conceived and again he had zero presence or responsibility in their raising so it's not on him also considering he did want to have a rship with them and it got shut down every fucking moment

I mean the vast majority of the destruction in these books is caused by the tywin/aerys generation having created a clusterfuck, rhaegar behaving like an idiot, robert not having realized he should have left ruling to someone capable, cersei being unable to play her cards smart and littlefinger not getting over being friendzoned plus both robert and cersei being shit parents to joffrey, not on jaime who at most didn't do anything because the one time he did the right thing after being traumatized for two years at 15-17 he ended up not giving a shit about whatever and ended up being - sorry for the crudeness - basically being cers's sperm bank so she could have children who looked like her that she'd see as her own property except for the first while his father manipulated him into ruining his brother's life XD like there's a lot of stuff that man needs to own up to/atone to starting with pushing bran out of the window but if he blamed himself for an entire war that he had no part in starting and for which he was barely present just because he had kids he barely even talked to and zero responsibility any person who ended up fathering/mothering someone who eventually turned out being a pos should feel responsible for whatever they did and like.... the war happened bc people plotted for robert to be taken out and no one would have figured out about joffrey if they hadn't done it and ned hadn't looked it into it and because joffrey was a little shit and decided to kill ned for fun, everything else is contingent XD

and I mean idk but following this reasoning then jaehaerys is at fault for his own house's downfall centuries later because he bought out the conclave to have them agree to targ incests being accepted and while we can argue forever about the actual thing, legitness and whatnot idt that it'd be fair to put it like that X°D

[tetw]

5 Great Articles about Gametes

The Egg by Bloomberg Staff - A story of extraction, exploitation and opportunity

Unscrambling the Egg by Natalie Angier - Put a few adults in a room with a sweet-tempered infant, and you may as well leave a tub of butter sitting out in the midday sun…

The Doctor Is a Woman by Sloane Crosley - On the prospect of parenthood

You Wouldn’t Believe How Difficult it is to Buy Sperm by Danielle Elliot - It’s easier than ever for single women to have children on their own … or so I thought. Then began my $17,000 journey

Sperm Count Zero by Daniel Noah Halpern - Within a generation we may lose the ability to reproduce

Plus 25 more great articles about reproductive health

[wolfertinger]

I hope this doesn't come off as rude, but I do want to clear but a little bit of misinformation that I see repeated on this blog fairly often. Yes, most trans women have bottom dysphoria and are bottoms, but there are still transfem tops. Some trans women on estrogen are proscribed testosterone cream to help maintain erections. Inversely, some trans men bottoms take estrogen cream to reduce the effects of atrophy.

Also, HRT doesn't make you infertile. Feminizing HRT lowers sperm count, but that doesn't mean it's zero, people with low sperm counts can still impregnate others. There are plenty of trans people who've had kids after transitioning.

That all being said... I highly doubt Salem knows or cares about any of that. My problem isn't that she has trans woman OCs who top. My problem is that all of his trans women OCs are tops, and all of his cis woman and trans man OCs are bottoms, and it's portrayed in the most cishet-gaze way possible. As other anons have mentioned, genitals of all kinds on HRT don't look or work the same as cis peoples, but Salem draws trans women's bits exactly the same as he would probably draw a cis guys penis. I'm not gonna tell him to change his art to cater to me personally, but I do find the stuff he does draw to be very weird.

.

[spoopydooblr]

The Ken and Stella pregnancy blurb was so good could you write one where they find out that she’s pregnant?

ive been thinking about this scenario a lot and i cant really decide how i want this to go . . .

i think a year or so after they get married (stella is like 30ish) they start to really do their research and find the best fertility clinic in the city. its been almost 20 years since kendall and rava struggled to get pregnant, but still, he's not feeling optimistic.

stella gets a clean bill of health from the doctor, but ken isn't so lucky. just as he suspected, he was the problem. again.

was it the drugs? he was clean now, but he used so much...could he have ruined his chances forever?

stella assures him that it'll be okay, but she never went through what he had to 20 years ago.

they decide on a couple of treatments. they're both taking shots every day and pills at night and its exhausting. most of the meds go to kendall, but stella has to take some too, just in case.

they begin with intrauterine insemination, which is pretty simple and painless, but stella gets her period two weeks later. its hard on both of them, but especially kendall because he knows it's him, not her.

next they try ivf, which is a lot more complicated and expensive (not that money is an issue). now they both have to do injections and stella goes in for her egg retrieval.

the egg retrieval goes better than expected and they're left with 10. ken's sample has some relatively viable sperm so they pull the trigger and try to make some embryos.

the waiting is by-far the worst part, because deep down kendall knows there's no way those embryos are going to get made with his shitty sperm. he's right, unfortunately, and they're back to square one with zero embryos and ten now-frozen eggs.

kendall suggests a donor, like they did with iverson. stella's heartbroken, but they start to look into other options.

because they have the best doctors, however, they get into a trial for a new drug that increases sperm count and viability. stella is thrilled and insists kendall try it, but it's another injection and he's not super happy about it. nothing has ever worked for him, why now?

it's nice to have a break from more intense treatments, so they agree and kendall marks his torso up with injection pricks again.

three months later, ken and stella are enjoying some time off from surgery and tiny, microscopic cells that control their lives. kendall's in new york for the week, working on some financials for their production company (i imagine them making something rival to waystar and completely taking over the media scene), and stella is holding it down in los angeles, or at least trying to.

it's flu season and she's been to so many fancy parties in the last few weeks, stella is sick as a dog. she's a little worried, but the nausea, vomiting and headaches are typical for the flu, right?

she also chalks her late period up to stress. but it's been at least a few weeks...

the day before kendall is supposed to come home, stella drives herself to the hospital after she can't stop throwing up.

"when did the symptoms start?" the doctor asks.

"a week ago, i think, but ive been feeling kind of off for a while."

"and there's no chance you're pregnant? when was your last period?"

stella's heart skips a beat.

"um, i'm not sure. we're trying, uh, but it's been unsuccessful. my period is really irregular and i've been stressed so--" she trails off. "we've been trying for a couple of years."

"and are you taking medication?"

"i did, but it's not really..." she thinks for a bit. "it's not a uterus issue, it's my husband."

"and what is he taking?"

she tells the doctor about the new medication kendall is taking. "it's only been three months, so we're still hopeful. or at least i am."

"i've heard some great things about that new drug. it's really changing people's lives." the doctor smiles, turning away from stella and writing something down. "i'm going to order some tests, but i think you're fine."

------------------

kendall, obviously, sprints to his jet when stella tells him she's sick. she insists she's fine, but wants him to come home as soon as he can, which stresses him out to no avail.

he bursts through the door four hours later, finding stella reading a magazine on the couch.

"stell!" he says, running towards her.

"hey baby." she hugs him, bringing him down to the couch with her. stella presses her lips to his, but kendall is confused.

"aren't you sick?" he pulls away.

her face breaks into a huge smile. "about that..." stella gets up from the couch and walks to the kitchen.

kendall looks at her quizzically, as she comes back with a piece of paper in her hands.

"i have something to show you." she says, holding the paper close to her.

"okay..." kendall smiles at her, utterly confused.

stella carefully sits next to him on the couch. "here."

kendall recognizes the picture immediately. he used to frame them when rava was pregnant with iverson.

"what is this?" he holds up the ultrasound. it's too good to be true, right? tears prick his eyes.

stella is crying already, and takes his hand. "that's inside of me."

he looks down at the black and white photo again. a fuzzy, bean-looking object sits, next to another, smaller object. he's speechless for the first time in his life.

"what is that?" he whispers, pointing to the smaller object on the page.

stella looks at him, and he really can't read her for once.

"this surprise comes with another surprise." she laughs.

kendall's crying, but he takes another look. "is that..."

"yeah."

"two?" he smiles wide.

"i'm pregnant." she finally says, putting her hands on his cheeks. "baby, we're having twins."

they both burst out into crying giggles, hugging. kendall kisses her all over, stopping at her stomach. it's still pretty flat, but he knows her body so well he swears he can see a tiny bump growing.

THIS WAS SO FUN AND LOVELY TO WRITE I LOVE THEM AND I HOPE U DO TOO

[thelazybutler]

Can't wait for the social debate when fElons sex robots start harvesting and selling your data to 3rd parties without your consent. Imagine you reveal to your sex robot that you were abused as a child and then you get spammed with ads for his version of betterhelp, which is just the same zoom call therapy but you'll be browbeaten and gaslit into supporting Apartheid Andy's agenda while being given exactly zero actual comfort. Not even bringing up the ads you'll get if they detect your sperm count is low.

"Click here for the same horse tranquilizer and bull hormone regimen as the future king of mars"

I couldn't be less pathetic if I had 500 billion dollars and had made a bet with the devil that I couldn't die being the single worst human who ever lived.

What a fucking loser.

[blee-bleep]

tw: rape, pedophillia, canniballism; the regular aot shebang

"hi, welcome back to me screaming nonsense"

so i've been trying to gauge what age ymir and her daughters were when they got their titan powers, and theorists pointed out that with ymir standing with eren when he was ten yo (and when he recieved the titan power from grisha), it can also be assumed ymir was also ten years old when she fell down into the tree and had hallu-chan stuck to her spine. she's (possibly) 23 when the spear hit her and got transferred to paths

and we know that after gaining those powers, king fritz used her to expand the eldian empire and defeat the marleyans for a few years before giving her his "seed", basically fucking using her as a breeding cattle because he wanted his slave's power to continue. (oops, sorry i didnt mean to make a parallel with historia's story in uprising arc, she doesn't matter aheh, right yams </3)

so she gives birth to maria, rose, and sina in the 13 years she lived after encountering hallu-chan. by determining maria's age, we can also determine how old ymir was when king fritz r@ped her (im not using any other term aside from this regarding their relationship, i still stand that her "loving" fritz was a retcon and even if it wasn't, it SUCKS).

rose and maria are seen walking along with ymir in this page so its to assume that they are already toddlers, so it's been 2-3 years since they were born, and sina being possibly 6-12 months old. their age gap are just one year apart. so really he didnt waste any time using ymir as cattle.

on the day of ymir's death at 23 yo, it seemed that they only had three living children together so its been a few years since sina was born. the king couldn't produce more was possibly due to the fact that he is old as dick and his sperm count was probably approaching zero.

they're conscious at this point, and the whole event of ymir (their MOM) dying and having been forced to eat her by the king (who they considered as a father, seeing as he does acknowledge they're his daughters cuz he addresses them as such, tho by no means was it probably affectionate) was probably TRAUMATIC AS FUCK, as we can see from their devastated expression

and we all know how much that would probably affect their development (and i think this will fuck up anyone regardless of age and maturity). but seeing as they *did* consume ymir after her death, they only lived 13 years at most, and they *did* have children during that time, same as their mother; we could only form the idea that they forced themselves to enter the role of slave, the same as their mother; being heavily affected by the king's will without any regard of their own.

from sina's height and consciousness, we can infer that she was possibly no more than 4 to 5 years old when ymir died. rose was possibly 6 yo, and maria 7 yo. at 23 with 3 children, the king had taken advantage of ymir when was 15-16 yo. while he died of old age, he was probably DECADES older than her when he did which just makes me 🤢

from that point of ymir's body being consumed, maria rose and sina only had 13 years left to live, with maria dying at 20, rose at 19, and sina at 18.

if maria was only 7 when she got the 13-year curse of ymir, and seeing as the female reproductive could only have been fully developed when she's 13-14 yo, she would only have enough time to have 8-9 offsprings by the time 13 years passed. and that's if she starts YOUNG. rose and sina even less, so they wouldn't have had as many offsprings. possibly only three at best, just like ymir.

that means all three daughters used half of the 13 years as titan superpowers to expand the eldian empire, and the other half to create offsprings for the king's will

which is just... plain fucking tragic.

and realization of this just makes me SICK TO MY STOMACH GAHHHHSDHGJKSDJKGH

[renee-writer]

The Heart Don't Lie Chapter 1

AO3

He stares at her, his mouth open. Thank God that Anna wasn’t paying attention. His wife was busy whispering with his aunts, Geillis and Leticia.

 

What in heaven is she doing here? The last he heard she was in Boston. Now she stands in the same charity event he and his wife is. Is he with her?  He forces his eyes off her and looks for her husband.

 

His hands fist automatically at seeing him. There is the bastard.  Crips, he is putting his arm around her. Shake him off! He screams in his head.

 

“There you are.” He jerks at hearing his wife ‘s voice, “the auction is about to begin.” She takes his arm. He re-arranges his face before he turns and faces her.

 

“Aye, let’s get a good spot.” He knows she wants to bid on some homemade quilts to send to their daughters at University.

 

She smiles up at him and he returns it, praying it reaches his eyes.

 

“Come Claire. We need to take our seats.” Frank leads her to where the chairs are set up before the auction table.

 

“Alright.” Was that Jamie? She hasn’t seen him in fifteen years. The last time was right before they moved to Boston. Still, she would recognize his profile anywhere.

 

It would make sense he would be here. He would wish to support the charity if he was still the same man she knew. It was supporting the homeless after all.

 

“Is that alright?” She shakes her head, forcing herself to pay attention to her husband.

 

“Forgive me. I was woolgathering.”

 

His smile is tight. “I was asking if here was alright.” He gestures towards the chairs.

 

“Yes.” She takes a seat and he sits beside her, taking her hand. She tries to fully focus on him. This move back to Scotland was a fresh start for them. Their marital problems got progressively worse after Frank’s  infertility diagnosis.

 

He had insisted that it had to be her issue. It turns out her husband ‘s sperm count is almost zero.

 

Now they have gathered up their lives to restart them. Selling the house in Boston, the one with the big back yard and five bedrooms that was supposed to be full of children, for a flat in Scotland where they will come to after his job as a professor and hers as a surgeon.

 

“Rose has a new roommate.” Anna reports to Jamie, about their oldest. She is now a junior in university and living off campus.

 

“Female?”

 

Anna laughs. “Of course.  She wouldn’t wish to disappoint her da.”

 

Rose and her baby sister, Willa, are the apples of their daddy’s eye. He brought them up with strict values. Neither lass would dare live with a lad outside of marriage, even as a roommate.  Willa, is in a dorm as she is a freshman.

 

“Good.”

 

The auction begins.

 

She is bidding on the Ming vase while Frank is after some old history books. What is Jamie here for? She wonders.

 

She soon finds out. The quilts are first.

 

His hand flies up. How can she still recognize it?

 

A blush raises across her face as the memories return. His hands were the first to intimately touch her.  Oh, not memories to have here and now. She re-focuses her thoughts on the auction.

 

Anna claps her hands when they win the bid. Jamie smiles at her.  “They are for our lasses in university.” She explains, as they rise to claim them.

 

Claire feels something drop in her stomach. She knows that they have children but to be reminded, in such a public way, brings a feeling of sickness to her heart.

 

He can’t help but turn his eyes to Claire. The look on her face causes his heart to drop. Feeling a strong glance on the back of his head, he turns sheepishly back, worrying it is Anna. It is worse. It is his Uncle Colum. He is slowly shaking his head.

 

She wins the vase. The only good thing to happen at the auction. As she and Frank walk out, she sees Jamie with his arm around his wife.

[pugzman3]

People will see this and think Elon is on the good side because he is telling the truth....exposing the plan. Fool, he is part of it. They are telling you what is going to happen and play a side to keep you from preparing yourself...and more importantly, your kids. Because this isn't going to happen in our lifetime. It's going to happen when your kids are adults, and their kids will grow up in this mess.

Remember a couple other things, Noah Yuval Harari has also told us this near same thing, and that happiness will be found in video games and drugs (notice how we are primmed to get medicated for everything). Also notice how legal Marijuana is spreading across the country slowly. We are also watching the systematic destruction of natural food (obesity is about to become the leading epidemic in all 1st world countries). The sperm count in men will be almost zero by 2050. Climate change will be an excuse to move people into 15 minute cities, front door delivery is available for almost anything now, we are all wage slaves in debt until our death, and so much more.

But what is everyone focused on? They are focused on the reality tv show that is trump in court, biden not knowing up from down, and any other thing the news says.

Yall....it's over. People need to start preparing their kids to face some very hard decisions and realities that are about to take place. The longer you keep hope that some man is going to rise up and destroy the deep state or whatever you want to call it, the longer you are procrastinating preparing your kids. This has been in the works for centuries and it isn't going to stop. But this is an election year, so everyone believe the same things that are said every four years, get out and vote because it hasn't worked so far...but this time it will.

And this isn't even the end game. Because the end game isn't just a one world government/religion/currency/military. It is the one world worshipping the antichrist. It's biblical. It has always been biblical. And the devil didn't just want to be a ruler of the nations, he wanted to worship that God was getting. And Revelation says he is going to get it for a moment. Seek Jesus before it's too late for you. Lead your children to Jesus and prepare them for tribulation because if you think it's crazy now, this is nothing.