#zara is actually anne

[hrhzaratindall]

This is crazy, King George’s genes are strong 🥰

[daisyblog]

Home To Mother

Unexpected Love Masterlist Summary: Harry introduces YN and Jacob to Anne.

Warning: mention of smut

Harry had thought about introducing YN and Jacob to his Mum for a while. But with Anne living four hours away, it wasn’t always easy especially with Harry releasing his second album, and YN and Jacob having their own things on too. 

A conversation about their Christmas plans had not risen yet, and whilst Harry wanted to spend it with YN and Jacob, he was aware that he always spent Christmas with his family in Cheshire. 

He was surprised when he spoke to his Mum on the phone one afternoon on his way to YN’s from the studio. As he drove through the streets of London, his Mums name flashed up on the screen of the handsfree. 

“Hi Mum!”. Harry’s cheerily voice answered as he kept his eyes on the busy road in front of him. 

“Hi darling…how’s my boy?”. Anne’s tone was warm, full of love as she missed her son after not seeing him for a while. 

“I’m good…just on my way home from the studio, we had some small things we needed to wrap up before the release”. Harry explained as it was only a matter of days before the release of his second album. 

He could hear his Mum’s smile through her voice. “I’m so proud of you darling…I can’t wait to hear it…I know you’ve worked so hard”. 

“Thanks Mum…this album is really special”. Harry admitted as he turned down a quieter road. 

“Hmm…I wonder why that is.” Anne teased, a small hint towards Harry’s new lover. “Speaking of YN…how is she and Jacob?”. 

Harry couldn’t help but smile at the mention of them both. “They’re fine…I’m actually on my way there now…Jacob wants to show me  his new Lego piece he’s built”. 

“Ooo sounds cool…looks like everything is going well with you all”. Anne began to prod, knowing where she was going with the conversation. “I’m not sure what your plans are around Christmas but if you’d like to…and of course YN wants to too…then I’d love for you to being YN and Jacob home with you”. 

Harry loved the idea of taking YN and Jacob home to Cheshire with him, and introducing them to his family, whilst celebrating Christmas but with Jacob having other family too, it wasn’t a decision he could make solely. “I’d love to Mum…but I’ll have to ask because of Jacob with his Dad and stuff”.

“Of course darling…I will respect your decision either way”. Harry knew his Mum was way too good for the world. 

It was a debate he was having in his own head, considering different options, until he decided to speak to one person who he knew would be able to give him the answer he was looking for. 

---

Since Harry and YN had become serious in their relationship, he had become a regular visitor to Jack and Zara’s house when YN and Jacob went to visit. 

YN and Zara had organised a Christmas shopping trip into town and Jack had asked Harry to join him and the two boys. Harry couldn’t turn down the offer and knew it was his only opportunity to talk to Jack. 

Jacob was playing with his toys in the living room of Jack and Zara’s house and Theo had just gone down for his nap, leaving Jack and Harry to catch up. 

“Whilst the girls are not here…I wanted to thank you for everything you do for Jacob…and YN too…I haven’t seen her this happy in a long time”. Jack began to the conversation as they sat on opposite sides of the sofa. 

Harry couldn’t hide his smile because really he wanted to thank them all for allowing him to be a part of their family dynamic. “Between us…I’ve waited for someone like YN for a long time and Jacob is a real credit to you both…he’s a good lad”. 

“He loves you…he talks about you a lot…I love it”. Jack explained, knowing that most of Jacob’s stories now involve Harry. 

Harry thought about how he was going to approach the Christmas conversation with Jack, until he pulled the bandaid off in one. “There was actually something I wanted to talk to you about”. Jack nodded his head, his eyes paying full attention to Harry. “My Mum has invited YN and Jacob to Cheshire for Christmas…but I don’t want to overstep your plans and traditions”. 

He was waiting for this to be the changing point for Jack to tell him he was crossing the  boundaries and that he wouldn’t allow his son to travel up North. 

“I’m guessing YN hasn’t spoken to you about Christmas?”. Jack asked and Harry wore a slight frown confused by his response but quickly shook his head. “Between us…Christmas is usually shit for them both…they go to YN’s parents house in Bath…I hate it but they only go once a year and we spend Christmas with Zara’s family”. 

Harry felt a tug on his heartstrings at the thought of YN and Jacob having a miserable Christmas, despite being surrounded by the people who should make it special. “I’m not prodding…but is this why YN doesn’t mention her family?”. 

Jack nodded, an annoyed look on his face. One that Harry could tell that Jack really disliked them. “As you can guess…they don’t like me because we had Jacob young, and they all decided to share their opinions one day…called YN everything…and I wouldn’t take it and called them all out for being narcissistic arseholes”. 

“Must be so hard for her”. Harry tried to sympathise because he was loved by his family and knowing YN didn’t have the same, hurt him. 

“She doesn’t talk about them much…I think it’s her way of dealing with it”. Jack explained, as he had experienced their backlash first hand. “So yeah…please take them home with you and introduce them to a nice family…they deserve a happy Christmas. 

---

Harry drives up the road to his Mums cosy style cottage, and YN could already tell from the outside that this house was a home and somewhere everyone came because they’d have a warm welcome. 

Anne was peaking behind the curtain through the lounge window, wanting to catch a glimpse before greeting them. She could see Harry get out of the car first, YN quick to follow. She involuntarily let out a smile as they shared a quick peck as they passed each other. Once she saw Harry head to the back door, she made her way to greet them. 

“Harry!”. The three are broken from their bubble at the sound of a woman’s voice, but YN can instantly tell that the pretty woman standing at the front step is Harry’s Mum. Anne wastes no time pulling Harry in for hug, holding him tight afraid he was going to be gone for months again. “I’ve missed you”.

“I’ve missed you too Mum”. They both pulled apart, Harry turning to YN and Jacob. “Mum…this is YN-“.

“Oh it’s so lovely to meet you love!”. Anne carefully pulled her in for a hug, smiling as she did so. “I’ve heard so much about you”. 

YN let out a nervous giggle. “All good things I hope”. She joked, as she and Harry caught each others eye. 

“Definitely all good…I knew my boy was smitten from the first date.” Anne announced without care. Whilst YN could feel the blush on her cheeks and shyness take over, Harry laughed at his mother’s words and told her not to embarrass him. “And who’s this little lad?”.

Harry scooped Jacob into his arms, as the younger boy tugged on his hand to be held. “This little monkey is Jacob!”. But with new surroundings and a new person, Jacob tucked his head into Harry’s neck. 

“What a beautiful name!”. Anne smiled up at the boy in her son’s arms, the scene being unfamiliar to her. “I feel so lucky that you did your Mummy have come to visit”. 

“Thank you for inviting us, it’s really kind of you”. YN took the chance to thank Anne, knowing how special this occasion was for them all. 

“You’re welcome here any time!”. Anne reassured her as she lovingly placed her hand on YN’s arm. “Hey Jacob…I’ve been baking all morning…and a little birdy told me that you love chocolate cookies…would you like one?”. 

With his head still lying on Harry’s shoulder, Jacob couldn’t hide his love for a chocolate cookie. “Yes please”. His voice was quiet but loud enough for the others to hear. 

“Come on in and make yourselves at home!”. 

---

A few hours after Harry, YN and Jacob had arrived, Gemma and Michal walked through the front door eager to meet them. They greeted YN with a warm hug, one that reminded her of Anne’s and they gave Jacob a bit of space for him to settle. 

With it being Christmas Eve, Anne had prepared a large spread of food for them all to eat together and had even bought them all matching pyjamas. It was a new tradition for YN and Jacob, as they were often left out of those things but it created an accepting feeling in YN’s heart at the thought of Anne thinking about her and Jacob. 

“I’ve heard you started big school”. Anne spoke to Jacob across the table, as he used his fork to pick up the food from his plate. “Are you enjoying it?”.

Jacob nodded his head because he loved going to school and being with his friends. “Harry picked me up with Mummy the other day”. He spoke about the time that they surprised him at pick up. 

“It wasn’t my greatest ideas, considering half the Mums practically announced my presence.” Harry explained to the rest of the table. 

“You were definitely the topic of conversation in the Mum’s group chat that evening”. YN added. “And Jack said they were all highly disappointed when he turned up the next day”. Which caused them all to laugh at the sight of disappointing looks in their faces. 

“What can I say…I just have that effect”. Harry sassily added, earning some eye rolls. 

After they all sat around playing a board game into the early evening, to which they all playfully shouted at Harry to stop cheating, they all gathered up some Christmas magic and helped Jacob to prepare for the big day. 

Anne had bought a personalised Christmas Eve plate for Jacob to leave carrots and snack for Santa and his reindeers. Before they knew it, they were bidding goodnight to Jacob as YN and Harry took him upstairs to settle him for the night. 

---

Harry and YN came back downstairs after around an hour of Jacob’s bedtime routine and helping him go to sleep with a nighttime book. Anne told them to help themselves to any drinks or snacks they wanted from the kitchen. 

Gemma and Anne could see into the kitchen from where they were both sat. “So what do you think Mum?”. Both their eyes still taking sneaky glances at the couple in the kitchen. Harry hands held her from behind as he whispered something in her ear that made her laugh out loud. 

Anne smiled fondly at how happy her son was and how much more content he seemed. “I like her…she seems like a lovely girl and Jacob is so polite”. 

“I really like her already…she just seems so down to earth and-“. Gemma began to give her opinion, as she watched her brother cuddle up to his girlfriend in the kitchen. 

“Not fake and full of herself?”. Michal finished Gemma’s sentence for, earning an amused grin from the two women. “What? It’s true and what you were thinking!”. 

“It was to be fair…I’ve never been a huge fan of the girls he’s introduced me to”. Anne agreed, smiling as Harry and YN were now facing each other, talking quietly as their arms were wrapped around the other. 

“As much as their affection is making me want to vomit…I will admit they’re cute”. Gemma quickly turned her eyes away as Harry leaned down to place a kiss on YN’s lips.  

---

“Merry Christmas baby”. Harry whispered in between leaving gentle pecks along YN’s neck. He could feel her melting into each one.

“Merry Christmas gorgeous”. YN’s eyes were still asleep as she enjoyed the feeling of Harry’s lips moving up her neck.

Harry carefully moved his lips to meet YN’s. Their lips moved delicately together, both enjoying the feeling of the others. As Harry moved his hand to rest at the bottom of her back, their lips began to move with more desperation. Their lips moved messily as one. But once Harry’s hand started to move down south, YN pulled her lips away, causing Harry to pout.

“Oh c’mon…that’s not fair.” Harry whined as he tried to kiss her again, but YN only laughed at his pout. “We can be quick!”. 

“I am not doing anything with your mother in the next room.” YN gave her reasons, as they were still cuddled as one under the duvet. 

“I’ll make sure it’s the best five minutes of your life”. Harry gave it another shot, practically begging. 

YN had to cover her mouth to stop the loud laugh from waking others who were still asleep. “I don’t doubt you would…but I’m not having sex with you with your mother asleep in the next room…are you mad!”. 

“Makes it more exciting I think”. Harry continued to tease her. “Set myself a challenge to see if I can make you cum without making a noise”. 

“Highly doubt it!”. 

---

Christmas morning had a slow start to it. They all gathered in the living room near the tree where they all watched with excitement as Jacob opened his presents that were left by Santa the night before. YN was taken back by how a family, who had only just met Jacob treated him with so much love and affection already.

Anne had gifted him a football stadium Lego set, along with some smaller toys and some money for him to choose something to buy. Jacob ran over to her and wrapped small arms around her and thanked her.

Gemma and Michal had taken a similar approach and gifted him a generous gift card for a sports store for him to spend as he pleased. Like he did with Anne, he wrapped his arms around Gemma, before giving Michal a fist pump.

The rest of the morning was spent playing with all of Jacob’s news toys and counting down until they were all sat around the table eating their roast. Jacob insisted on sitting next to Harry whilst they ate because he wanted to pull the Christmas crackers with him.

Later on in the evening, Harry’s extended family of his aunt, uncle and cousins joined them for a night of fun and laughter.

It was the first year Harry had brought someone home for Christmas, so being the joker his uncle was didn’t miss out on winding his nephew up after he introduced YN and Jacob to them.

The large group were coming towards the end of their quiz, with Harry’s team in the lead by one point. The last question asked was “In the 2009-10 Premier League season, Manchester United finished second on the league table. Who finished first?”. Jacob pressed the buzzer without thinking and the pure shock on Harry’s face was priceless, because the rule was whoever pressed the buzzer needed to answer.

“What’s the answer Jacob?”. YN asked, as she stood behind him wondering if he knew it.

“C’mon Jakey…you can do this!” Harry cheered him on, giving him a nudge of encouragement.

Jacob debated the answer as he moved around, before shouting “Chelsea!”. Everybody waited to see if the answer was right.

“Correct!”. Harry lifted Jacob up into the air as their team celebrated their win.

As the evening went on, Jacob started to show signs of tiredness. Deciding he wanted to go to bed, YN encouraged him to say goodnight to the party. As YN and Harry trailed behind the little boy, a voice stopped them.

“Oh would you look at that!”. Everybody turned to look at Harry’s Uncle Mike, confused at what he was talking about. But Mike motioned to where Harry and YN were standing, and like coincidence there was a mistletoe above them.

YN giggled at the sight, but there was a tad of nervousness in the laugh. “Kiss your girl then H!”.

Harry didn’t seem the harm in a quick peck. He leaned down quickly capturing YN’s lips in his. The kiss was kept short, for the sake of everyone else around them.

Whilst Anne smiled at her son’s affection, Mike and Harry’s cousin made kissing noises along with hollowing cheers to tease the pink cheeked boy.

“Oh stop it!” Harry could be heard chucking as he left the room.

---

Harry had been lying awake for a while, YN was sleeping next to him, small breathes leaving her body as she slept. The sound of small footsteps entering their room at Anne’s caused Harry to lift his head up from the plump pillow. 

“Hey JJ!” Harry used the nickname he created for him. “Did you sleep okay?”. 

Jacob nodded as he rubbed his eyes with the knuckles of his fingers, as he approached Harry. 

“Shall we go downstairs for some breakfast? Leave Mummy have some sleep?”. Harry suggested, as he began to reach for his hoodie and joggers. “Do you know what you want?”. 

“Pancakes please”. Jacob patiently waited for Harry to finish getting dressed before they descended down the stairs together. 

The two of them chatted together as they walked through the hallway into the large kitchen. Anne was sat at the table already, donning her fluffy dressing gown as she sipped of her warm cup of tea. 

“Morning boys!”. She greeted them both as she watched Harry place some pancakes into the toaster, and flicking the kettle switch down. 

“Morning Mum!”. Harry was cheery as he moved around the kitchen effortlessly, gathering some plates and mugs. “Jakey…say good morning lad”. 

“Morning!”. Jacob pulled the chair out next to Anne to sit on. Harry couldn’t help but smile as he glanced over, Jacob was starting to become more comfortable around his family. “Anne?”. 

“Yes darling?”. Anne’s full attention was on Jacob, waiting for him to speak. 

“Can I play football in your garden please?”. He asked with his big pleading eyes on display, the ones that got him everything he wanted. 

“Of course you can sweetheart!”. Anne brought her hands up to her chest as the little boys cuteness and manners were too much. “I’m sure Harry will take you out there after you’ve finished your breakfast…I would take you but I’m not very good at football”.

Jacob chuckled out loud at Anne’s honestly. “You can come to my house and I can teach you…I have cones and-and everything in my garden…I can ask my Mummy if you can come to play”. 

Anne’s heart melted and she looked to Harry to share her happy smile. “You’re very kind Jacob, I’d love to come and visit you and Mummy one day…maybe you can show me around London”. 

“Me..Mummy..and Harry went to the market…and girls were following us…we had to go home.” Jacob said as a matter of fact, causing Anne to look at Harry with a little concern on her face. 

She quickly turned back to Jacob, hiding her previous look. “I’m not as cool as Harry…but maybe we could go somewhere quieter when I visit…how does that sound?”. 

Jacob excitedly nodded his head, as Harry placed his breakfast in front of him and giving his hair a little fuss as he walked past. 

As promised Harry took Jacob outside to play football in the garden after breakfast. Anne was sat on the chair, watching as they ran around kicking the ball, playfully tackling each other and equally desperate to kick the ball in the pretend goal. 

A presence next to Anne, disturbed her thoughts. “Good morning!”. YN’s voice was gentle, almost quiet. 

“Good morning love!”. Anne’s smile showed her pearly whites, as she brought her eyes back to the two boys running around the garden. “I’m going to let you in on a secret….i’ve never seen Harry this content and happy”. 

YN couldn’t take all the credit. “He’s changed my life for the better…you’ve raised an amazing man and I wish I’d met him sooner”. She didn’t hold back, she knew she’d fallen in deep. Not only did he make her feel special but he’d accepted Jacob as part of her and she will always be grateful. 

“He won’t thank me for this…but I know my boy and he’s besotted with you and Jacob”. Anne knew Harry would tell her off for discussing him with YN, but she didn’t care. 

“That makes us both!” YN couldn’t take her eyes away from her two favourite people as Harry swung Jacob around in circles in victory for scoring a goal. 

Anne wrapped her arm around YN in a cuddle. “Welcome to the family my darling!”. 

Taglist:

@ell0ra-br3kk3r @vikiii07-blog @sleutherclaw

[natjennie]

things I would love resolved in the fhjy finale:

beesbees. don't leave gertie hanging like that come onnn

is hallariel pregnant for real. or is it a bit. im so scared.

ayda and fig reunion 🥺🤧

bucky applebees cassandra conversion

yolanda and lucy revivification ???

MARY ANN SKUTTLE !!!!!!!

update on tracker and nara?

k2. she just got into hudol.

THE QUANGLE??? THE FUCKING QUANGLE???

zara? does she know about porter is she in on it what's her deal

cassandra's actual name.

I had another one I dont remember. does anyone know what I was gonna say.

[unsoldd]

TADC Prompt

AU: Escaped, as well as Human Caine + Bubble

Relationships: Bunnydoll, Showtime, Gangle x Zooble, and Kinger x Queenie

<•>

In this alternate universe Caine was actually the first human trapped in the digital circus game by his own brother, Able, because he wanted their company all to himself. But Caine figured out that if you twist the ear piece of the headset then you could leave the game. But to make sure Caine would not try to escape they trapped his six year old daughter Bethany (Bubble) in the game as well. They manipulated Caine and Bethany’s minds to make them believe they were AI, and so when new victims were trapped and were confused why Caine was an AI but could not do anything they gave him admin commands. They also made sure Bethany (Bubble) had no arms so IF Caine did end up remembering he would not leave because he would be leaving his daughter behind.

Caine and Bubble do end up remembering that they are real people and not AI thanks to all the members of the circus glitching into what we see Pomni enter in episode two with Gummigoo. They then leave thanks to Caine and enter the human world…

That’s when we learn that when one day passes in the digital world it is only an hour in the real world, so they haven’t missed much… if you don’t count Caine, Bethany and Kinger, as well as the rest which have been abstracted (and we also learn that when a human is abstracted they actually leave the digital world). That’s when we get everyone’s real names:

• Caine the Ringleader is actually Caine Eden, co-founder and head game designer for C&A, as well as a single father to his now (whatever age) year old daughter Bethany.

• Bubble the Assistant(?) is actually Bethany Eden, only daughter to Caine Eden.

• Kinger the Chess Piece is actually Kenneth King, AI specialist for C&A (thanks to the 7 years of computing science in episode 3), husband to Quinn King and father to Paige King.

• Queenie the Other Chess Piece is actually Quinn King, curator of insects (because she likes bugs), wife to Kenneth King and mother to Paige King.

• Pomni the Jester is actually Paige King, algorithm developer for C&A, daughter to Kenneth and Quinn King.

• Ragatha the Rag Doll is actually Ruth Ann, solutions architect for C&A, younger sister to Arthur Ann and Randy Ann.

• Jax the Rabbit is actually Jackson Burrow, app developer for C&A, older brother to Jane Burrow.

• Gangle the Mask is actually Gabriella Satin, team behind the design in making for games characters at C&A, twin sister to Gabriel Satin and girlfriend to Zara Parts

• Zooble the Rubix Cube is actually Zara Parts, games developer for C&A, partner to Gabriella Satin.

• Kaufmo the Clown is actually Kyle Smiles, machine learning engineer for C&A.

<•>

Appearances can be all up to you and you do not need to keep the names or jobs I have listed on top.

Of course like my other prompts this is free to use and credit is not need. I was just bored and thought this was a good idea. And I’ll gladly take in suggestions that you think will be a good story and expand upon it.

[palmtreepalmtree]

Alright, everyone. This probably will not be a long one because... oof... but without further ado, this is...

THE WORST MOVIE ON NETFLIX RIGHT NOW

Today, I am pleased to present A Family Affair, starring Nicole Kidman, Zac Efron, and Joey King.

The premise for this very questionable movie is that Zara (King) is a personal assistant to the man-child movie star, Chris (Efron), and is horrified when her widowed mother, Brooke (Kidman) starts sleeping with him.

There's so much that's wrong with this movie, it's hard to figure out where to begin. I've watched it twice now to try to put my finger on the problem. The biggest issue here is that none of this feels particularly real -- definitely not King's acting, Efron's character, and least of all Kidman's wig.

ARITHMETIC

Even after watching this movie twice, I found myself spending way too much time trying to do some mental math in the middle to make everyone's ages make sense. Especially when they threw in Kathy Bates as Kidman's mother-in-law. Like... I think it works???

But it's fucking distracting.

The movie never meaningfully addresses the age gap between Kidman and Efron. On the one hand, sure. They wouldn't touch it if the genders were reversed. But that also feels disingenuous since Efron's character is hounded by paparazzi. You're telling me this schmuck who obsesses about his brand as an actor never has a single moment of insecurity about dating an older woman!?!?!? PLEASE.

FAKE FANTASY

It feels at times like this movie is a fantasy every which way you look at it, except for in the way that matters. As a viewer, I want to get swept up in the fantasy -- what if I had a meet-cute with a movie star!? What if I was a published novelist, with beachfront property in Malibu, and an entire closet of couture dresses that Vogue sent me and that could fit me?! What if I could afford a luxury SUV on an assistant's salary?!? What if Big Bear actually looked like that in the snow!?

The thing is, all of this falls so flat, you can't get lost in it as a viewer. And it's not funny or charming enough to keep you interested in the story or get you invested in the relationships.

HATEABLE

I regret to inform you there's not a single likeable character in this movie. The Zac Efron movie star feels like it was written from the whispers of disgruntled assistants. It's just TOO AWFUL. And while at times it can be funny, it's hard to believe that Nicole's character could ever fall for him.

Look, I don't know if you know this, but movie stars, especially ones who mostly get by on looks, are VERY CHARMING. This is part of how they get cast. But in this movie, we never see this motherfucker be charming. Not even once.

Joey's character is probably right for objecting so hard to this relationship, but she spends so much of the movie just screaming about things, it's really fucking hard to be rooting for her. Also, she's obviously a rich kid. Like MALIBU RICH.

And Nicole... like... I have so many questions... like... look I hate that this is where we're at with things, but there's something uncanny valley about her face and her hair through the whole movie. It's kinda hard to watch her or feel anything for her. That must be a wig. It must be. And it's just so awful the whole time. This is such a far-cry from how she looked in Big Little Lies. WHAT HAPPENED.

THE IDEA OF YOU PROBLEM

Look, the biggest issue here is that this movie gets wrong all of the things that The Idea of You got right. Where A Family Affair ignores the age gap, The Idea of You wrestles with it as a central part of its plot. While A Family Affair dresses Nicole in horribly unattractive clothes, The Idea of You puts Anne Hathaway in a stunning, sexy wardrobe.

WHO DID THIS TO YOU NICOLE!?!?

While both films present fantasy lives for their leading ladies (a novelist and an art gallery owner), The Idea of You seems somehow more real and thus attainable as fantasy (a craftsman house in Silverlake as opposed to a beachfront mansion in Malibu). While A Family Affair alludes to sex and romance, it doesn't have even a hint of the sex appeal and romance of The Idea of You. It's never even clear what Nicole's character sees in Zac's, beyond his body, even once the relationship has begun to carry on and clearly affect her emotionally.

In many ways, these films are mirrors of each other. Neither of these are perfect movies, and they share a lot of similar story beats and themes: the relationships, including mother-daughter, fame and celebrity, solo female success, betrayal of the spouse, and so on and so forth.

But A Family Affair is basically the funhouse mirror version of the story. It may make you giggle a couple times, but you're not going to stand there taking it in for very long. Best to just move on and forget you ever saw it.

[italicized-oh]

friday afternoon hello operator excerpt from ch 14, feat. friday afternoon starbreaker massage time.

There’s a knock at his office door. Speak of the devil. Jace says “Yep” as loudly as he can (not very, right now) and puts his forehead down on his desk. Waits. The solid thuds of Porter’s boots as he enters the vice principal’s office make Jace’s already throbbing headache worse. He groans, pressing his forehead harder into the desk, and whimpers, pitifully, until Porter gets the hint. Jace hears him chuckle, and then there’s the heavy, warm weight of his massive hands on Jace’s shoulders, thumbs kneading into muscles Jace didn't even know he had. Jace makes an effort to speak without moving his face. “Y’re sooo good ‘t that. Why.” Porter laughs again, gives a gentle (for Porter, anyway) pinch to the nape of Jace’s neck. “Starshine, I’ve been dealing with your neurotic mess for years now. You think I don’t have tricks up my sleeves?” Jace lolls his head to the side a bit, sighing as Porter digs into a particularly hard knot. “Asshole. You and I both know your tricks are mostly in your pants. Where’d you actually learn this?” Porter hums, tips Jace’s head back to the other side with a swipe of his thumb. “A lady never tells.” Jace honest to god snorts at that. “I’d love to see you try to pull that on Zara. She– mm, right there, yeah– she’d flay you where you stood.” “Nah, she’d laugh. ‘S long as I promised her a massage, she’d probably let me at least sit down before she flayed me.” Jace huffs a laugh that turns into a groan. He’s rapidly becoming sorcerer soup on the vice principal’s desk, and he does not even care. It’s Friday afternoon.

after this mary ann tries to kill jace. if you even care <3

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

What are your favorite looks from royal weddings, christenings, jubilees, coronations/enthronements, funerals?

For weddings, see this post:

For christenings - I've always generally liked what the moms wear but there just aren't a whole lot of good pictures because they're the ones holding the baby! What I love the most to see at the royal christenings is always how happy, proud, and glowing most of the moms are. I always got an odd vibe from Meghan in Archie's christening pictures - she isn't glowing and happy in those photos as the moms in other christening photos are. In fact, to me, Meghan seemed happier, more glowy, and prouder in the pictures from the Windsor hall when they presented Archie to CBS cameras.

But these two are my favorite looks from royal christenings.

I also really liked Madeleine's look from her first child's christening but couldn't find a good picture of her outfit so I didn't include it. I loved that she wore a floral headpiece and with a floral dress, made her whole look very summery.

For jubilees - I'm just going to do the BRF's 2022 Platinum Jubilee because I don't want go to down a rabbit hole right now.

Here are the ladies:

Kate in Wales (one of my all-time favorite Kate coats)

Beatrice at the Royal Windsor Horse Show Charity Night (one of my all-time favorite Yorkie looks - this is such a slay)

Zara at the Epsom Races (in Mike's hat)

Kate at the Platinum Jubilee Service of Thanksgiving

Sophie Winkleman and Lady Gabriella at the service of thanksgiving.

A couple of notes about the service of thanksgiving - Beatrice and Sophie W. actually wore the same dress in different colors; Beatrice in blue, Sophie in pink. I prefer Sophie's dress and her hat style. Beatrice's dress just looked off, like the fit was just slightly too big.

I didn't mind Eugenie's dress at the service of thanksgiving but the tangerine color with a black hat was all wrong. A more muted orange, like Gabriella's peach, or a darker-hued orange on scale with Sophie’s pink/fuchsia would've worked much better.

And now for the gents:

Mike after the service of Thanksgiving in Zara's hat. Just fab. No words.

August at the jubilee pageant. Who doesn't love a little boy in a heritage sweater? Such a cutie-pie.

For coronations/enthronements

From Charles and Camilla's coronation in 2023:

Queen Matilda, Coronation

Beatrice, Coronation

Penny Mordaunt, Coronation

Empress Crown Princess of Japan, Coronation

Queen Letizia, Pre-Coronation Reception

Queen Jetsun, Pre-Coronation Reception

Lady Louise, Coronation (an all-time favorite look)

Everyone in the procession at the coronation, (except for the Camillas)

Kate, Coronation Garden Party

Kate, Coronation Concert

Princess Anne, Coronation

Major Johnny, Coronation

Yeomen, Garden Party. These guys are just cool.

The only other coronation/enthronement whose fashion I enjoyed was King Willem-Alexander's inauguration. These looks are my favorite:

Maxima, Inauguration

Frederick and Mary, Inauguration

Felipe and Letizia, Inauguration (they became King and Queen a year later)

Mary, Reception (not sure if this was before or after the inauguration. I think it was after or later that day since Willem-Alexander and Maxima’s daughters were wearing the same dresses from the inauguration ceremony). Mary is 💃 personified in that dress.

I also adore the dresses that Leonor and Sofia wore for King Felipe's coronation. I wish we could have seen Charlotte in dresses like these when she was younger, instead of the traditional British smocked dresses.

For funerals - I don’t know about this one. I’m a little uncomfortable focusing on the fashion at such somber occasions. I get why some people do but it’s not for me so respectfully, I’m not sharing about these. People do the best they can during times of grief and we shouldn’t fault them for choices made under duress.

That said, I think Kate looked better at Philip’s funeral and The Queen’s lying-in-state than she did at The Queen’s funeral. Her outfit choice for The Queen’s funeral felt very much like a changeover to The Princess of Wales, where she looked (and probably felt) more like herself at Philip’s funeral and the lying-in-state service.

This concludes the traditional Royal-watching week of commentary. In two weeks, I’ll spend a few days posting about the Sussexes, and opening Pandora’s Box, so if you have opinions/royal-watching questions or just want to light matches with me about the Sussexes, get them in before May 18th to be included.

Back to regular programming.

[theconstellationprincess]

Jace Stardiamond has broken my brain so here’s some thoughts about him (both agere and not)

- Jace is a young little, like 2-6 range, and is very much still intune with his spell casting while regressed. This makes tantrums hard to handle.

- He likes Mary Ann the most out of any of the Ratgrinders. He sees himself in her, in some ways, despite them being very different people. He speaks with an over the top flare for dramatics that annoys people and can get him in trouble, she speaks in a monotone voice that has the same effects.

- He’s resurrected after Ragnorok and is not fired, and makes an effort to actually become less of a shitty person. Him and Zara become friends.

- The days following his resurrection (while he’s recovering because he’s really hurting both mentally and physically), he spends most of the time regressed and crying because he wants Porter. Wants his healing spells, wants his deep voice, wants his warmth because he feels awful and he wants his boyfriend.

- Ankarna is the one who brings him back, with Cassandra as well he supposes. She offers him justice, vengeance, but he’s tired and filled with a deep shame and anger that he tells her that he doesn’t need any of that, just to feel something other than rage.

- Him and Porter never fully discussed his regression. Porter didn’t ask beyond the first time when Jace had told him it’s a side effect of his brand of innate magic. Not true, and Jace knows that Porter knew he was lying, but he didn’t push it.

Okay that’s all for now <3

[simplyangered]

-Rating Celebs/Royals I’ve met-

1) Phil Rudd 8/10

Super nice dude, didn’t get a photo with him we were both on a flight to LA :3. I was sooo tired.

2) Zara Phillips 8/10

Really nice, same name as me. She complimented my hair!! Actually so gorgeous and sweet!!

3) Prince Edward 119018291/10

So funny, charming and kind. He complimented my dedication to instruments. One of the kindest people I’ve met.

4) Princess Sophie 9/10

Gorgeous, so sweet and patient. I stutter really bad when I get nervous and I was like ‘ahh, I’m so so sorry I’m so nervous’ she was like ‘its fine happens to the best of us’.

5) Princess Anne 10/10

Sweet, loved her voice and we chatted about Scotland. She is so gorgeous and sweet. I complimented her dedication to horse riding.

Authors Note:

All of these people are so so sweet and I’m so lucky to have met a lot of Royals. :) Phil Rudd was really chill though, we were both soo tired.

[what-if-queen-camilla]

Chapter 33

Sadly just a short one but I wanted to give you an update... hope you'll like it...

30th December 1995

"Do I still have to call the Princes 'Your Royal Highness' now? And what about the Queen Mother? Do I still have to curtsy and say Your Majesty?' Will we see the Queen and Prince Philip, too?", Thea bubbled in the back of the car and Camilla rolled her eyes. After her little girl had overcome the first shock about the news that none other than The Prince of Wales - Sir, as she still called him - was her biological father, she had also begun to realise what that meant concerning other familial connections, that she had two brothers who were Princes, that her grandmother was the Queen, and the Queen Mother, with whom she'd always shared a special sort of friendship as the two of them shared a birthday on August 4th, her great-grandmother. She had also realised very quickly that her godmother "Auntie Anne" really was her actual aunt and Peter and Zara were her cousins, and she obviously had so many questions and things on her little mind that sometimes Camilla didn't know what to say anymore. She just hoped they'd finally get back to some kind of normality in the new year 1996 and, perhaps, the days at Birkhall with all of them would help as well.

Following his statement regarding his acknowledgement of Thea as his child, Charles had privately hired a security service to take care of her and Camilla for the foreseeable future and she had to admit that it did make her feel better, at least more secure and therefore relaxed, not as helpless and frightened anymore, and that was good. The plan was also for Thea to get back to school again after Christmas break and, though there'd be security looking after her, at least until the situation would have calmed down, she hoped for her to be able to go on with her life and her friends as normal as possible. In fact, not even Peter and Zara had security at school, actually, it was a privilege that only the most senior members of the Royal Family had (though Camilla wasn't sure whether "privilege" really was the right expression…), but in their situation, with all of the uncertainty and the hate and attacks she had been suffering, they had decided that it was too risky to send their daughter back to school without any protection, and Charles funded it through his own, private income.

"Mummy???", Thea firmly interrupted her thoughts and Camilla shrugged her shoulders. "We've talked about this, darling.", she reminded her daughter. "You will be a good girl and behave exactly like you've always done unless somebody invites you to do otherwise." That was just what they needed, Thea enthusiastically jumping into the Queen Mother's arms, greeting her "Hi great-granny!", or something, no, no, no. It was best to be as decent, polite and unobtrusive as possible. Laura had already gone up to Scotland together with Peter and some of their cricket friends a few days earlier and they'd all met up there, so it was just the two of them driving all the way to the north and she couldn't wait to be in Charles' arms again soon. They hadn't seen each other until some time before Christmas, they yet had to exchange presents and generally, her heart just ached for him. It had been a hell of a year, especially the last few weeks really had taken their toll on her and she longed for nothing more than some peaceful and quiet hours with the love of her life - and their children. That thought almost made her heart stumble, though she was still a bit anxious about meeting William and Harry after Diana's revelations, but at least they didn't have to hide anymore and she just hoped the boys and Thea would get along and that whatever had happened between their parents wouldn't affect their relationship.

"Good afternoon Mrs Parker Bowles.", one of the Queen Mother's equerries welcomed her charmingly as they finally arrived at Birkhall just before twilight, and bowed deeply, first to her and then to Thea, politely adding: "Good afternoon, Ms Theodora." "Good afternoon, Steve!", the two of them greeted him, almost unisono and laughed. "Her Majesty The Queen Mother is looking forward to welcoming you both in the Drawing room.", he added and for a moment Camilla winced, looking at him insecurely. DearnGod, that had not been announced and she wasn't dressed for such a meeting now, looking all shaggy in her jeans and sweater, her hair and makeup (or rather: the unidentifiable something that was still remaining of it) an absolute mess after the almost 10 hours journey… all that she wanted was to refresh herself and change into some more festive clothes before she'd meet with anyone, let alone Charles' grandmother! The old lady would probably send her away if she saw her like that… Mortifiedly, she followed the equerry inside of the house and through a few rooms until they eventually reached the drawing room, where the Queen Mother was sitting on a chaise lounge, enjoying a slice of cake, a cup of tea and something stronger, and smiled in delight as she caught sight of them. "Your Majesty…", Camilla greeted her, performing a deep curtsy, her eyes fixed on the floor. She felt ashamed about her appearance but, thank goodness, and actually not really surprising, the old lady didn't care at all. "Camilla, my dear, it's so nice to see you!", she cheered, kissing her cheeks, before bending over to Thea, who, like her mother, performed an elegant curtsy in front of the royal and politely greeted her: "Good afternoon, Your Majesty!", which made the old lady laugh. "Good girl, Theodora!", she praised her, appreciatively patting her back. "But I'd say Great-Granny is more fitting now, don't you agree?" Camilla almost got a heart attack as this was basically the scenario she had been afraid of - but the Queen Mother smiled at her so kindly and heartfeltly that it didn't even feel weird or wrong anymore as she warmly pulled the little girl into her arms. Camilla wiped a few tears away as she suddenly felt two strong hands, tightly but tenderly grabbing her shoulders, gently turning her around, pulling her close, before just as sudden, two lips found hers and kissed her so passionately, that she almost felt like fainting. "Darling…!", she gasped breathlessly, looking at him in pure love and astonishment, the Prince's eyes equally filled with adoration for his love. "Darling.", he replied, gently kissing her cheek. "You're home."

[hrhzaratindall]

I hope Tim's partaking this year

No he never does which is actually gutting ! 😭 Anne says that it ruins a good walk though 🤣 Mike said this morning Zara’s patience isn’t very good with golf so she is on the caddy serving drinks again

[armoricaroyalty]

what's something you'd like to see more of on royal simblr?

Great question, me! There's a number of things I'd love to see more often in the royal simblr community, such as:

More non-western influences and royals. European monarchies are the most accessible to English-speaking westerners, but in the modern day, most monarchical systems exist in Africa, the Middle East, and Southeast Asia. I can only think of a few royal Simblrs that are meant to have non-Western settings--I'm sure there are more that I'm not aware of, so I'd love recommendations on that front!

More stylistic diversity. @warwickroyals touched on this in her answer to this question, but there is a prevailing style for women on royal simblr, which is very classically feminine with a lot of dainty features and soft pastels. I'd love to see more people try to differentiate their characters a bit more in terms of silhouette and personal style. I think there were some royal simblr fashion police a few years ago who sent rude messages to people who broke "the rules" of royal dress, and I think that's had a bit of a stifling effect on the community. Even if you give your royals strict dress codes, I think there's a lot of room to play around and experiment within those parameters. For example, I was actually watching that Prince Philip doc produced by the royal family after his death, and I was struck by how distinctly all the women dressed. Princess Anne was in jeans and a blazer, Zara Tindall was wearing a sleek skirt suit, Beatrice and Eugenie were wearing flowy floral dresses...there's a lot of ways to be polished and stylish while still expressing individual style, so I'd love to see some of that on simblr.

More diversity, just in general. I'm not going to pretend I'm not also guilty of this, but royal simblr is very white, very able-bodied, very cisgender and heterosexual, very thin, and very conventionally beautiful by western standards. There's no reason why made-up countries with made-up histories should follow all the patterns and prejudices of the real world, so it'd be nice to see more of a range of types. I love my beautiful, icy brunettes as much as the next person (you will pry Rosalind from my cold, dead hands) but it'd be great to see more representation of different types of people.

More interesting men. This is one that's a lot more subjective, but I feel like there is a general tendency toward blandness when it comes to male characters on royal simblr. Speaking very broadly, the menfolk tend to be either irredeemable dumpster creatures OR perfect husbands and fathers who wait patiently for their "messy" love interests to realize that he's the man of their dreams. I don't think there's anything wrong with either of these things in a vacuum (and there's tons of stories that I really enjoy that make use of those archetypes), but I feel like there are some missed opportunities for more interesting and dynamic male characters, especially as love interests. For me personally, it's hard to get invested in a romance where one or both parties is certifiably Nice (tm) without any other defining character traits.

Anyway, all this to say that these are really broad trends, and I'm sure you could cite strong counterexamples for each OR point out places where I've fallen into the same patterns. But in general, those are the community-wide tropes that I think could use the most refreshing.

[anonymoushouseplantfan]

The Keep Your Enemies Close (in regards to Fergie) seems to be the aristocratic MO. People want to be around people with power and keeping those who could say a lot of shit close is best for those with power. It seems like a smart thing: if someone knows you, you keep them close instead of letting things go to shit. See Chelsy at William and Kate's wedding. Beyond knowing them, better to keep her close than have her feel slighted and talk about Harry/spilling any shit about him.

Zara/Peter and the Yorks going forward: I wonder if they might accompany Kate to a day at Wimbledon or those types of events where she tends to bring a private guest. And something like the carol concert or the Jubilee events show how you can have family at official events and still have a line between working and family.

Slimmed down monarchy is probably what we are seeing now, but only add on all of the King's children. You have the king's mainline, so all his children. We saw that with the queen as well. However, you will not have all his children's children participate. It is only the heirs children. So if Harry and Meghan had stayed it would have been: Charles/Camilla, Anne, Edward/Sophie (Queen's kids/king and his siblings), William/Kate, Harry/Meghan and then when they are older George/Charlotte/Louis. The issue with taking out the siblings is kids take a long time to be old enough to do things independently and the siblings can fill that gap.

The next step in slimming down the monarchy is only the heirs line can become prince/princess. So George's theoretical children, but not Charlotte's and Louis's. Its for the best for the kids and as seen with Zara/Peter, it doesn't mean you aren't included as an adult. It is actually more freeing than having the title.

I agree, but we are seeing the problem with that "keep your enemies close" strategy. They got Sandringham and Wood Farm and now they want the HRH and settlement renegotiations, etc... I doubt they will go to Wimbledon. They will probably go to fashion events (Yorkies) and horse events (Zara). They seem to be doing this on a case-by-case basis, based on the family member's personal interests. It takes a while for the kids to be ready. True. I think that's where they are heading, but they need to do a better job preparing the kids and grandkids for more independence. Anne did a great job with her kids. That should be the model. I think Will and Kate's kids and grandkids will have an easier times than other royal children because they will have the non-royal Middleton cousins around and royal status won't be their only benchmark.

[dontbebittah]

The History of Swingo, Part 3: The Prodigy

(Collette Guitart as Anne Boleyn on the West End. Photographed by @markmakesphotos on Instagram.)

(4) Collette Guitart was brought on as a swing in the final months of the 1st West End cast, continuing for a full contract with the 2nd West End cast and a short extension with the 3rd. She actually debuted three roles as an emergency cover prior to her intended start date, causing her to be the first alternate to perform in a principal costume— she wore Millie O'Connell's old Boleyn costume when she debuted the role. Once her contract began, she wore an updated version of the black alt costume with a Howard-style skirt, and was the first to get multiple costume variations: a Seymour skirt, Cleves shorts and jacket, and Parr pants. Collette is currently in the new Marlow and Moss musical Why Am I So Single? as the alternate for Nancy, principally played by fellow Swingo club member Leesa Tulley.

Days to complete Swingo: 80 (single production: 39, WE 2.0)

Date completed: October 19th, 2019

Performance stats:

Fun Fact: Collette was in the first all-alternate show as Catherine Parr, alongside alts Zara MacIntosh, Cherelle Jay, and Hana Stewart and universal swings Bryony Duncan and Liv Alexander.

[saintmeghanmarkle]

The Tindalls show Harry and Meghan how its done by u/Mickleborough

The Tindalls show Harry and Meghan how it’s done This article in the Daily Mail talks about the self-supporting, successful Tindalls, and the secrets of their success: archived / unarchivedThe formula’s basically very simple:- Be open and have ‘the likeability X-factor’. People warmed to Zara because she was perceived as being hard-working and authentic, like her mother Princess Anne.- Both Tindalls are accomplished. She’s a bona fide Olympian, a member of the Team GB equestrian team. He played rugby for England, winning the World Cup in 2003.- The Tindalls are perceived as ‘what you see is what there is’ - genuine.Interestingly, the Tindalls are tactile and affectionate with each other. Does that remind you of a certain ducal couple - yet they don’t seem to strike the right chord. Yes, the public can tell BS.Their natural charm, behaviour, and good manners endear the Tindalls to people. On their current visit to Australia, they’re winning over Republicans (ie the Australians who prefer a republic to the monarchy).The Tindalls have many business interests.Together, their net worth is estimated to be around £30 million / $38.24 million - all through their own hard work: Sun archived unarchived. (And Zara’s been a Rolex ambassador since 2006.)The Sussexes started off with the advantage of titles and a closer connection to the throne - 6th compared to 21st. On the strength of this, they landed a contract with Spotify valued at £15.69 million / $20 million; a book deal at £27.46-31.38 million / $35-40 million; and Netflix worth some £78.45 million / $100 million (NB these are unverified figures).The Spotify contract went south - signed in 2020; actually launched in 2022; and cancelled in 2023. Netflix is looking shaky after a sort-of successful fauxcumentary; something about world leaders which went under the radar; and the Meghan Show Heart of Invictus, which wasn’t as successful as hoped.The Sparse autobiography might’ve done well, but there seems to be little appetite for more self-pitying material, or anything of which the Sussexes might conceive. Maybe Why I Snubbed Hollywood: My Truth? It couldn’t be worse.EDIT: Forgot about Meghan’s magic mushroom cof-e compny. That clevr move might make her fortune. post link: https://ift.tt/YTPo48k author: Mickleborough submitted: January 12, 2024 at 10:27PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit

[sassyfrassboss]

I don't think Bea and Eug will ever be thrown a bone. Charles does not seem to be fond of them and seeing how much he fought for them not to be working royals and not have security I don't think he cares very much about them being included in anything.

The moment he got the job he demoted them, even not being working royals they always arrived in a car to family events, in the funeral they got the motorcoach. IMO the only people Charles will miss in the balcony are Anne's kids, perhaps Margaret's kids, he seems to be close to both but I don't actually remember either of them in the balcony the last few times.

You could be right. He is VERY fond of Zara and Peter but I can't recall him having that same enthusiasm for Bea and Eugenie.

I was wondering if they would get their own car this year since they did last year.

I think it really bother Charles that Andrew chose to give his kids names...but I think Andrew did in just in case his second child was a boy. And because he is a pretentious a$$hole.