#yummy yummy ume

[togament]

umemiya is such a sweet big brother type of character i feel he's a BIG family man so imagine the sort of thoughts that would be thunk when he sees his s/o taking care of the younger furin members/children in general.. 👉👈 could be both nsfw and sfw too hehe

eeeee an ume ask! tysm anon. of course, i live to provide for the ume girlies too. him being a huge family guy is making me sweat a lil. hoooooo- 🥹

thinking about being fresh into a relationship with ume and him… realizing some things way too soon.

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 : breeding breeding BREEDING. breeder ballz ume. imagined sexual scenarios. general seggs.

NSFW under the cut. +18 stuff. MDNI, pookie. sowwie. you know the drill.

just like most nights, you and the Furin boys congregate to the Pothos Café.

also just like most nights, you find yourself standing over the first years’ table, playfully nagging at sakura for getting scratched up after you just patched him up good yesterday.

ume, being the absolute best boyfriend that he is, he doesn’t look on in jealousy. hell. he’s smiling so stupidly that hiragi spares him a glance and grins at him.

“take a picture it lasts longer,” hiragi teases, taking a sip from his black coffee, nudging ume out of his love induced stupor.

“can you blame me though? I mean, look at them,” he sighs wistfully, motioning to your table. hiragi follows his gaze.

you’re still there, fighting and giggling with a now red sakura, desperately trying to reach him to clean his wounds. it’s absolute chaos but seeing you getting along with the furin members and doting on them like your own siblings is only making ume fall for you even harder.

how his heart swoons at the thought of having you be a permanent fixture to his found family. how he wants to get married to you one day, to take care of a family of your own. “she’d be such a good mother to my kids,” he thinks. but before he realizes he was thinking out loud, he slowly turns to a smirking hiragi. “hm? say whatnow?” hiragi prods.

Pause.

‘she’d be such a good mother to my kids,’ he finally manages to think silently. he rotates that thought around in his mind like a puzzle, panicking inwardly. isn’t it a bit too soon to think of those things? right? I mean, you just got into a relationship with him after being friends for years — can’t be, right? to save face, he only chuckles, waving hiragi off with a limp hand.

“it’s a grown up thought. you wouldn’t get it.” he teases. but damn. just looking at you from across the café right now’s stirring a different type of feeling within him.

he finds you again in his thoughts that night in his room, your tight cunt is in the form of his fist. your name falling from his lips as he pumps on his length. his eyebrows are knit together so tightly, his eyes closed, imagining you laid out on his bed, pussy dripping with his cum. if he can’t have you the way he wants right now, he’ll just have to put his mind to work.

he hooks one of your legs over his shoulder as he slides in for the nth time that night in his thoughts, the wet squelch ever audible. he’s reaching you deeper in this position now, eager to shoot more of his load as close to your womb as possible — overload it, even. it spills, drips down onto his bedsheets but he doesn’t care.

“y-you’re gonna be such a great mother,” you hear him groan. you’re way too fucked out to respond while his eyes are raking down your naked form, breasts bouncing with every harsh thrust. sweaty and panting, you reach down to rub at your clit and he bites back a moan at the added sensation. you’re tightening up around him. his fat breeder balls slap against your ass. it’s fucking amazing how endless his stamina is. you can only let out a weak whimper in response.

some days, he makes love to you so gently in his mind, taking his sweet time to bring you the pleasure you so deserve. pressing gentle kisses along your legs, your belly, your chest.

but lately, he’s been wanting to fold you over and fuck you senselessly, fucking his cum deeper inside of you. it’s downright nasty, rough—but can you blame him?

he needs to fucking breed you.

“gonna fill you up, baby. gonna put a baby in ya-“ he reaches down to cup your cheek in his hand. you instinctively lean into his touch and he swears his heart skips a beat. “y’want that? all plump with our kid inside of you. gonna look even more beautiful-“ he chuckles, ramming harder into you. his grip tightens around your leg, a pattern of crescents litter your soft flesh as he keeps a steady grip using it as leverage to fuck deeper.

you feel a tight coil in your belly, wanting to cum again on his thick, thick breeder cock. your fingers fly to the sheets below you, gripping so desperately with your head buried into the pillow beside you. moans and screams muffled by the saliva-soaked material.

“that’s right, sweetheart. cum. cum with me. f-fuuugh-!” a groan leaves your boyfriend’s lips as he feverishly rubs at your clit, bringing you to cum with him. a mixture of his juices and yours dribble down his balls and down your thighs, soaking the mattress further.

-

his toes curl and his back arches away from his bed as he pumps his cock desperately, your name escaping his lips unbidden in pants and whimpers. his cum squirts far, even reaching his cheek and his pillow.

“fuuuuck,” he whispers to himself, sitting up from his bed to wipe himself up, already dreading the clean up process.

but his doorknob turns with a gentle knock on his door.

you catch him looking like a deer in headlights, cock still in hand and cum smearing his uniform and cheek.

smirking, you step inside his room slowly, eyeing him down with a blush creeping up your neck.

“I’d be a ‘great mother’, huh?”

the door closes with a click behind you.

shit.

౨ৎ ˙⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩

a/n: 😮‍💨 gotta love me some desperate ume.

[evergreen-endo]

WE PLAY THE SAME KEYS AT DIFFERENT TIMES — r. kaji.

cw: 18+ mdni, f! reader, car sex, spit. wc: 0.8k a/n: unedited. thought about him on my drive home. enjoy. 

You and Kaji can’t ever just listen to music in the car together.

He really never intended for it to be like this at first— but once it happened the first time, it’s all he could think of the next time he got in his car. It’s the same every time; inviting you for a ride to listen to a tune that’s stuck in his head, one he claims he can’t get rid of until he hears it again. But with him, it can never just be one song. There are too many that make him think of you these days, despite his best efforts to press skip on those in particular. 

He drives around until night falls, and you’ve both shared everything you’ve had on repeat this week. As he pulls onto the highway, the low vibration of his car picking up speed thrums against your thighs, much like the guitar blaring through his speakers. The low light of the city falls on his hands as he steers with practiced motion, heel of his palm flat against the leather. Warm yellow light trails along the veins on his arms, dragging your gaze wherever it touches. It highlights the rim of his features for a split second, long enough to see the way he side eyes you.

He lets out a huff, leaning back against the headrest to hide in the dark, though it’s futile. As he whirrs past the overheads, the light guides your gaze to his thighs, spread lazily even with one foot on the gas, and up, up, up to…oh. It’s only a second that you see it before light rushes past, and you wait on the next street light to illuminate him. It takes its time, stretching slowly over the same path, fingertips to forearms to biceps. A flit of your eyes down, and the car leers onto the exit ramp, light changing its course and missing the bulge of his cock entirely. 

The both of you huff for different reasons, you in disappointment, and him in relief. Not that you can hear each other over the music, anyway.

You spend the rest of the ride bopping your head along and picking up your phone to add songs you like to your own playlist. He’s grateful that there aren’t as many street lamps on the route to your place, so you miss the poorly hidden smirk that plays on his lips. 

Pulling into your driveway, he thumbs at his wheel to turn the music down just as that one song comes on. The one you fucked to the first time he did this; the reason he keeps inviting you to do this. He pauses, sighing, and turns it back up again. You tense, thighs crossing as you hear the click of his seatbelt and squeak of the leather as he reaches over to click yours, too.

Kaji’s breath always comes out ragged— grits his teeth and hisses through them even as his chest heaves for more oxygen. He’s got you bouncing on his cock in his backseat, guiding you to some extent, rough grip on your hips because he really can’t find it in himself to be gentle. Not when you move so perfectly you hit every goddamn beat. 

You’re the perfect melody to him— he has half a mind to lean forward and turn the music down in favor of the sound of you. Ass clapping against his thighs, wet squelching from between yours, breathy moans and gasps and keens. He wishes he could isolate every salacious layer of sound— to savor it, ingrain it into his memory to replay over and over.

The beat of the song slows, just before he knows it’ll build up again. He takes the break to wrap an arm around your waist, effectively slowing the motion of your hips. You whine as he forces you to grind your clit against him, and he hums, captivated.

Using his free hand, he twirls his fingers through your hair, wrapping the strands around to get enough hold to pull you forward, the abruptness ripping a gasp from you. Perfect. Twisting his lips up, he tilts his head forward, letting a glob of spit travel past his lips and drip down onto your awaiting tongue as he plants his feet firm on the ground. With all the leverage in the world, he bucks his hips up into you as the beat picks up again, the heavy weight of his thrusts knocking the air from your lungs. 

It gets hard to move when you squeeze around him, ticks him off that you’re slowing down his rhythm. He just wants to give you what you deserve and you’re always holding him back with that fucking grip of yours. At least, he thinks, you’re giving him a chance to readjust his hips, so he can hit that spongey spot inside you until the song closes out, until all that’s left is the sound of your shared panting.

[dusts-insanity]

BRIAN MURPHY PICTURES FROM THE WWE UM, ACTUALLY EPISODE...

I can't say anything about these pictures because the ops are around

[twelve-thousand-pizzas]

Note to self for future: Do NOT watch a show with tiny characters, not eat much for dinner, take your testosterone, and then go to bed. Not all of those things together. The hungry and the horny and the itty bitty blorbos WILL boil together in your brain and become “I desperately need to know what my favorite guy’s flesh tastes like” alarmingly fast!

[roscvcins]

wait wait wait they're delicious you guys

[oro-junestar]

some of my favorite pac-man headcanons i came up with back in my insane days,,

-in pac-man world, orson was extremely malnourished, being obsessed with staying inside toc-man all day, never getting any sunlight or sustenance (which is why he's so grey). after defeating him, pac-man made sure to spend plenty of time with him to help him recover back to a healthy state <3 -since funky apparently works for orson, at least in world 1, spunky works for kinky. as for what she does umm idk sits there and looks cute. also idk where funky was in world 3 either lol -also funky pilots toc-man in pac-man world rally while orson works on um um hes still fixing up the spectral realm i think -golvis and spooky long lost brothers !!!????!?? :O -also wandy is spooky's most devoted servant and is an absolutely deranged simp for him oh my god its insanity,. -orson and erwin are exes (CRACK SHIP OF THE CENTURY) -creepy (from the minecraft thingy) and glitchy (from pac-man 256) are bestiesss -pac tech is primitive compared to ghost tech (orson would burst into tears upon seeing professor pac's lab i think) -sue and sue (pac-man world 2) would absolutely get into arguments all the time and be yelling and crying and causing all sorts of drama. they are volatile they should never EVER be put in a room together -pac-man eated a bees once. it did NOT GO WELL. -orson is in the fuckin uhhh i forget the tech lab place from pac-man party because of course he is -sue is the mother of yum-yum -orange sue, pink sue, and purple sue are sisters. -the maze is a popular sport event. pac-man, blinky, inky, pinky, and clyde are the world champs, and then afterwards they like to go grab a coffee and like idk make love or something -tim went missing in the spectran realm and i guess somehow created the nether realm (ghostly adventures), and his cries for help can still be heard to this day (i forgot about this this goes hard as fuck) -if spunky and funky were in ghostly adventures theyd totlaly be fire and ice ghosts -orson and the purple janitor guy got married after cleaning up the outpost (CRACK SHIP OF THE CENTURY 2) -the whole shit with spunky running away and joining a criminal gang -the whole shit with the fucking ghost zombie blood fungus disease thing?? -just the whole shit in general this was all so wacky -the museum in pac-man world 3 is just orson's pathetic shrine to pac-man...he doesn't let him see it cause its too embarassinggggg he would laugh at him -pac-man loves reciting and explaining memes to orson. orson does the same back to him sometimes it's very annoying. -orson loves to startle pac-man sometimes. it's very annoying. -orson loves to ramble about his newest inventions to blinky. it's very intriguing and blinky loves hearing orson's soft voice while being petted by him ouh,, -orson apparently served in the military???woah. -there is a ghost witch who lives deep in banni who's mad that orson built his outpost directly above her home. rude. um i forget what she does about it -orson totally jams out to desert music -blinky likes to gently bite pac-man after giving him a kiss aww <3 -munchy isn't the only nickname blinky gives pac-man. munch-munch, cumball, fuckalicious...yeah it's awful. orson, AKA fluffybutt, knows all too well. -clyde needs frequent reassurance and affirmation or else he thinks he's not doing good enough :( -joey, paul, willy, and frankie run a bootleg games company together. joey is the CEO and does CEO stuff, paul manages finances, willy makes merchandise, and frankie programs the games (u get a cookie if u remember who those are)

[fluloa]

ALREADY FIVE FUCKING PEOPLE HAVE LIKED MY JAKE SULLY SMUT ONE-SHOT AND ITS BEEN FOUR FUCKING MINUTES. WHAT IS WITH YOU PEOPLE AND WHY ARE YOU SO HORNY?

[stunie]

to see you enjoy my lil fic had me kicking my feet!! i never expected you to interact with my stuff (〃ー〃) thank you lots <3

TEATEATEA TEA !!!! i loved ur ume fic so much. it was everything i needed. also off topic. so rn i am online while being mildly sleepy as per usual and i thought ?? u were talking about the draken one ?? and my heart sank into my stomach omg BC I HAVE IT IN DRAFTS RN BUT IM NOT DONE ADDING TAGS. i got so scared i was sooo red and embarrassed i thought i accidentally posted it without finishing pmdhhhamsms i was about to tell u to close ur eyes !!! 😭😭 do close ur eyes though bc im on the last bit of the fic teeheheheehe

[outfoxt]

an update on mission: get more unhinged

i may have gone too far

[wishmemel]

only way i got through the day was hallucinating megumi beside me the entire time

[macabrity]

Sardine sandwiches might save us

[childofeberron]

i love you okanagan crisp apple cider

[the-kneecap-god]

I don't know if I can explain it but like... keralis' voice is so... delicious. It's just tasty

[sandersinabox]

Did anybody else read Gideon the Ninth and go absolutely insane or was that just me?

[hoodzgyal]

id redecorate my blog but i fear i love jason too much

[theadrianshephard]

this will have no effects in the future probably