#youtube research tab

[awaketake]

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[spookberry]

I let my mom borrow my laptop to answer some emails cuz she broke hers and after i got it back I opened it to the sight of her having Closed All My Tabs😭

[shiranuigenma]

i closed 7 tabs earlier only to open up 12 more i have a problem

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

Something random to know about me is that, at least on desktop, it is entirely accurate to assume that I have at least 30 tabs open at any time, unless I happen to be preparing to shut down my laptop (which is a rare occurrence).

[halcyonminor]

should i cw that for scopophobia.... i dont really cw for that anymore even though i literally have it to some degree. i just scroll away but thats not really fair of me to expect others to do.. if anyone wants me to lmk

[fabaulti]

I think most of us should take the whole ai scraping situation as a sign that we should maybe stop giving google/facebook/big corps all our data and look into alternatives that actually value your privacy.

i know this is easier said than done because everybody under the sun seems to use these services, but I promise you it’s not impossible. In fact, I made a list of a few alternatives to popular apps and services, alternatives that are privacy first, open source and don’t sell your data.

right off the bat I suggest you stop using gmail. it’s trash and not secure at all. google can read your emails. in fact, google has acces to all the data on your account and while what they do with it is already shady, I don’t even want to know what the whole ai situation is going to bring. a good alternative to a few google services is skiff. they provide a secure, e3ee mail service along with a workspace that can easily import google documents, a calendar and 10 gb free storage. i’ve been using it for a while and it’s great.

a good alternative to google drive is either koofr or filen. I use filen because everything you upload on there is end to end encrypted with zero knowledge. they offer 10 gb of free storage and really affordable lifetime plans.

google docs? i don’t know her. instead, try cryptpad. I don’t have the spoons to list all the great features of this service, you just have to believe me. nothing you write there will be used to train ai and you can share it just as easily. if skiff is too limited for you and you also need stuff like sheets or forms, cryptpad is here for you. the only downside i could think of is that they don’t have a mobile app, but the site works great in a browser too.

since there is no real alternative to youtube I recommend watching your little slime videos through a streaming frontend like freetube or new pipe. besides the fact that they remove ads, they also stop google from tracking what you watch. there is a bit of functionality loss with these services, but if you just want to watch videos privately they’re great.

if you’re looking for an alternative to google photos that is secure and end to end encrypted you might want to look into stingle, although in my experience filen’s photos tab works pretty well too.

oh, also, for the love of god, stop using whatsapp, facebook messenger or instagram for messaging. just stop. signal and telegram are literally here and they’re free. spread the word, educate your friends, ask them if they really want anyone to snoop around their private conversations.

regarding browser, you know the drill. throw google chrome/edge in the trash (they really basically spyware disguised as browsers) and download either librewolf or brave. mozilla can be a great secure option too, with a bit of tinkering.

if you wanna get a vpn (and I recommend you do) be wary that some of them are scammy. do your research, read their terms and conditions, familiarise yourself with their model. if you don’t wanna do that and are willing to trust my word, go with mullvad. they don’t keep any logs. it’s 5 euros a month with no different pricing plans or other bullshit.

lastly, whatever alternative you decide on, what matters most is that you don’t keep all your data in one place. don’t trust a service to take care of your emails, documents, photos and messages. store all these things in different, trustworthy (preferably open source) places. there is absolutely no reason google has to know everything about you.

do your own research as well, don’t just trust the first vpn service your favourite youtube gets sponsored by. don’t trust random tech blogs to tell you what the best cloud storage service is — they get good money for advertising one or the other. compare shit on your own or ask a tech savvy friend to help you. you’ve got this.

[satureja13]

Have I ever told you how much I like these crime games? Some of you might know how much I struggle to keep up with something due to my ADHD (a glorious exception are the Boys ^^') But I was able to finish this book for my games/current case! I haven't been able to craft a bigger project for a while so I'm very proud of myself lol and I thought I show you.

I can reuse this book over and over again for new cases and it's made out of stuff I already had at home: amazon packaging, printouts, envelopes, tea dyed paper, wallpaper, a belt, the lock is from an old suitcase I found, paperclips, stamps, fabric and the metal book corners are made from a tomato paste tube...

These games come with a bunch of documents and I like that I can sort them now and that I'm able to find them quickly instead of having them in a heap. It takes me a few days or even weeks (when I get distracted by someting else ^^') and with this book I can put everything quickly away and return as quick to my research again.

I also made little writing pads and a notebook. The most fun I had with the paperclips. You can make them so quickly and they are so pretty and useful (I use them as tabs and to keep the documents in place)! Just fold a strip of paper in a 'w' shape, glue the metal paperclip inside and decorate. Ready! If you are interested in doing sth like this, don't hesitate to ask, I'm happy to help and share links to to the amazing youtubers I learned from!

I came into crafting only late in my life and I have so much fun. I wish I discovered the joy of it earlier but I never thought it could be something for me. Art class in school was so discouraging and I always thought I don't have the patience/talent for it. Then I went into rehab and we crafted and I kept on crafting ever since ^^' (Maybe you remember when I posted about my tarot book I made a new cover for or my amazing tool case I posted a while ago?)

The box in the pic below is a chocolate packaging I glued some tea dyed paper on :3

I also made a little booklet:

Did you know that you can make tape out of almost everything by using doublesided tape? Here I used old book pages. The dangles are made from cardboard and napkins :3

That was a fun little project and it's also a nice gift. I printed out the AI edits from my Mount Komorebi screenshots to decorate the pages. When you look close you can see Kiyoshi and Kiri in the pic on the left.

[writingquestionsanswered]

Is there a way for me to figure out speech & expressions in a specific past century? I've been trying to write a novel set in the 16th century but there are alot of expressions & idioms that I don't know if they existed back then or not. Do I just cut them out completely?

Researching Historical Lingo, Slang, and Grammar

Here are some things you can do to research the proper lingo, slang, and grammar for a historical setting:

1 - Google "slang (or phrases, lingo, grammar) of [era/decade] [location]" - I don't know where your story is set, but as an example, I Googled "slang of 16th century England" and got back 13 million hits, including things like "9 Elizabethan Words to Bring Back," "English Slang 1400 To 1680," "Elizabethan Swearing, Cursing and Vocabulary" and others. If you Google the era/decade and location of your story and take the time to sift through the results, you can get to know the lingo, phrases, slang, and grammar that would make sense in your story. (Just remember not to over rely on it... you want to avoid obviously modern phrases or words... no one in Elizabethan England would call something "freakin' sweet"... but you also don't want to write something so archaic sounding that it annoys the reader.)

2 - Go to YouTube and Search "slang (or phrases, lingo, grammar) of [era/decade] [location]" - YouTube can be a great source for learning how people spoke in a particular time and place. And in video format, this information is usually presented with additional information about the people and place that helps you understand why they spoke the way they did.

3 - Look for Books About Your Time Period and Setting - There are a lot of time/place settings that are popular enough to have books written about them. There's no shortage of books dedicated to life in Tudor and Elizabethan England, for example, and there are books dedicated to writing stories set in that time and place as well. Whether you go to your local library and ask, go to a local bookstore, or look on Amazon, books about your setting and time period can be a really helpful resource for learning about how people spoke.

4 - When In Doubt, Ask Google - If there's a particular expression, idiom, slang, or lingo you want to use but you're not sure if it existed in your story's time and place, try Googling the phrase plus "origin" or "etymology." That will almost always bring up something that will tell you the history of the expression, idiom, slang, or word that you're curious about. For example, let's say I wanted to know if they would have said "right as rain" in Tudor England. The very first hit on Google told me that while "right as rain" did originate in England, it doesn't seem to go further back than the 1800s. So, it wouldn't make sense for my Tudor character to say it. Some articles will suggest earlier variations, too, which can give you a fitting alternative. @definitely-not-julio suggested the OneLook online thesaurus which has an origin tab... and that actually leads to the Online Etymology Dictionary, which is a fantastic resource.

You can also use any number of idiom search engines or the dictionary to learn the origin of a particular phrase or word.

5 - Curl Up and Watch Stuff - One last helpful resource I want to mention is the great and powerful screen, whether that's the TV screen or device screen. There's a whole world of period dramas out there that take place in just about every possible time and place, so if all else fails, try watching a TV series or some movies set in the time and place of your story, and take notes! Just be aware that TV and movies aren't always super accurate, so it's a good idea to still double check anything you use, but they can be a great way to learn all kinds of potential words, phrases, lingo, etc. The Willow and Thatch web site has a list of period dramas by era (click on "best period dramas list") and it also has lists of period dramas by streaming service.

Have fun researching your story!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[x-v4mp3y3lin3r-x]

Yesterday I finished moving to Firefox so here's some extensions. First, the serious ones:

AdBlocker Ultimate: Your run-of-the-mill adblock. I chose this one instead of uBlock since I'm fairly sure uBlock was giving me problems on Chrome and I don't wanna repeat the experience. You can use the "Block Element" feature to get rid of all the new annoying Tumblr features, it's easy.

ClearURLS: Removes tracking from URLs.

Decentraleyes: Protects from tracking & targeted ads.

DuckDuckGo Privacy Essentials: More tracking, cookies, etc etc protection.

Privacy Badger: More tracking protection.

Shinigami Eyes: Marks transphobic blogs/accounts/profiles red.

Alright now some less serious, more fun ones:

Enhancer For Youtube: Gives you a highly customizable utility bar with features like simple screenshotting, pop-up players, volume enhancement, & other things. Also has the ability to alter your YouTube theme and toggle settings that'll stop pesky YouTube tabs from automatically starting.

Firefox Color: Custom themes for dummies! It doesn't customize everything but it gets pretty close. I think this would be a good tool for folks who need high contrast themes and can't find pre-made ones suited to their needs. Also comes with a few pre-made themes you can either use or use as bases.

LanguageTool: A spelling and grammar checking program that works in many languages and on all websites!

OneTab: Turns tabs into lists. Fantastic for when you're knee-deep in hyperfixation/special interest territory, or even for research.

Turbo Download Manager: Helps with frustrating downloads.

Video DownloadHelper: Gives you options to download any video from your tabs in multiple formats. Also has the option to download and convert to another format. [Update: This one requires a paid subscription AND externally downloaded program for these features. Nevermind.]

XKit Rewritten: Most Tumblr users already know of xKit but I'm including the link nonetheless! This kit makes Tumblr on PC enjoyable.

Custom Scrollbars: Makes your scrollbar pretty :)

Also, Firefox has their own page of useful add-ons, like Facebook containers and note-taking extensions. There's also a ton of themes. I don't think any of these are advertised on the main add-ons page? So I might as well mention it.

cheers :)

[ramblingsfromthytruly]

"You'll not always be motivated so you have to be disciplined."

day 29+30+31/50 productivity challenge - condensing 3 days into 1 post cuz of 2 all nighters in a row i- dw tho cuz i did sleep a couple of hours in between here & there.. still genuinely dunno how i survived. learn from my mistakes & don't procrastinate cuz that's the only reason i was stuck in this mess

23rd September 2024, Monday

[almost nobody from my class actually went to school (& i'm not an exception) cuz tuesday's a study break & wednesday's our chem exam]

💤: 8 hrs - i mean ig at least that's one plus side of sleeping in?

🕒 1 p.m.- *sigh*

afternoon morning skincare

duolingo

practiced playing keyboard

did some college-related research

gradblr intro post

took bath

studied + made notes chemistry ch: structure of atom (not fully)

did so much planning fml (not good, not good at all, i procrastinated a lot!!)

did an exercise video

🚰: 4 glasses

24th September 2024, Tuesday

[study break day]

🕒 6:30 a.m. - my "night" is over & the day has begun

morning skincare

revised chemistry ch: some basic concepts of chemistry

🕒 12 - 3 p.m. - napped

duolingo

had a mental breakdown, pathetically cried, felt like a failure, etc

studied chemistry ch: structure of atom

took bath

night skincare

packed bag for tmr

🕒 10 p.m. - 12 a.m. - napped

🚰: 3 glasses

25th September 2024, Wednesday

[chem exam]

studied chemistry ch: classification of elements and periodicity in properties

studied chemistry ch: chemical bonding and molecular structure

morning skincare

quickly wrote down all formulae + important values

🕒 8 a.m. - left for school sleep deprived asf but caffeinated & motivated to get through the terrible exam

chemistry exam: i will be in deep shit when results come out *sigh* obviously i'm not happy when my friends do bad but only one comfort is that we're in shit together (they're literally the only 2 ppl i talk to in school). i NEED to do well on all my other exams, like somehow make an extraordinary improvement to show that i'm good with the other subjects and will just prioritize studying chem in the future. also made a deal with my mom that if i get above 83% overall then i'll finally get my own tab and headphones. we've been meaning to buy it for some time now, and my mom agreed only because my first tests' marks was at 64% (cuz i didn't study..). not exactly an "academic weapon" just yet.. only yet hopefully..

🕒 1-5 p.m. - came back home & slept like a log (no one's surprised)

(re) planned my day

took bath

ate my first meal of the day (how did i survive till here with just a coffee before school??)

played chess online (lost once, won once)

planned week after dussehra break

night skincare

decided to take a break today & wake up early tmr to start anew; i.e. operation proper sleep every night is green!

🕒 12 a.m. - went to bed finally

🚰: 4 glasses

🎧: a beautiful ravenclaw-themed playlist on youtube

[writers-potion]

Writing Webnovels 101

There is one key difference between printed/ebooks and a webnovel: you need to adapt your writing for a highly distracted audience.

Unlike a traditional reading experience, people reading on the web have a gazillion other tabs, windows and notifications demanding their attention. So, here are some things to keep in mind when you’re writing for a digital platform.

Short, To-The-Point sentences

Keep your sentences short so that the reader doesn’t lose themselves in the middle.

Keep descriptions short and to the point while focusing on the action of the story.

Fast-paced

Each chapter must have significant action that contributes to plot progression.

Use well-placed cliffhangers that wouldn’t lose the reader in between chapters.

Trope-Led Story

The function of tropes is to provide a distracted reader with a ready-built framework to understand the story.

Using the right tropes is also important to attract your target audience since it tell up upfront about what kind of experience they’re going to have.

Emotion-Led Story

Deliver emotional highs and lows right off the bat, because big, intense emotion is what the readers are looking for.

Emotional information is easier to digest and retain than technical description.

Big emotions are easier to hook into and relate to.

Linear Storyline

Keep flashbacks, flashforwards, time skips to a minimum.

For a distracted reader, a straightforward timeline is a lot easier to understand and return to after a hiatus.

Focused Plot

Having multiple subplots weaving in and out of each other is probably not the best idea.

Keep delivering the emotional experience that the reader is looking for and provide only relevant information.

Technicals

Choosing the right platform

There are so many ways you can write online, from building your own website to writing short episodes on social media platforms.

You can use: novelfull.com, readlightnovel.me, Ltnovel.com, Wattpad, Webnovel, Wuxiaworld, etc.

Before you start posting on a platform, research into the kind of readers it has, what are the most popular genres, etc. Make sure you are pitching to the right audience.

Promoting Your Work

Many writers now promote themselves through newsletters, Instagram, YouTube, etc. but for someone just starting out, creating digital content on top of writing can be tough.

Join a webnovel community and get to know some of your fellow writers! The goal here is not to span other established works to links of your site. As time foes on, linking to one another and making recommendations would come naturally.

Set a Realistic Posting Schedule

Your posting schedule determines how often your readers get to interact with the story world and with one another. It’s how often life gets breathed into your story.

However, going for five days a week isn’t going to be sustainable, unless your story is already finished.

There is no magic number, so figure out a consistent, regular schedule that you can stick to. At least once a week is recommended.

If you like my blog, buy me a coffee! ☕

References:

https://creators.wattpad.com/writing-resources/write-your-story/what-is-a-webnovel-indepth-guide/

https://www.drewhayesnovels.com/blog/2014/1/25/shit-i-wish-id-known-before-starting-a-web-novel

[spacedustpan]

I wanted to make my own separate post as opposed to commenting on the other one.

I get that sometimes when you see a bunch of people laughing and having fun with the funny part of something important it can sometimes feel like they missed the point of the important thing.

But just because people are talking to each other about the funny part on tumblr and Facebook and Twitter doesn't mean that they didn't pay attention to the important part.

It means that they probably didn't have anything substantial to say or add about the important part.

And in the case of the hbomberguy video where the important part is properly giving credit and payment to researchers, writers, and artists whose material is used for creation of youtube videos and other paid creations:

He stated it pretty clearly and provided a great playlist for people to take immediate action with by checking out those creators and subscribing to anyone they vibe with.

There are 4 obvious actions in response to the video:

Dunk on the bad actors listed in the video - easy, funny, low effort, and it gets more people to watch the videos by Harris and Todd that not only inform on who is plagiarizing but what it is and why it's bad

Subscribe to smaller creators whose work is good and is often jacked by larger creators - easy, fun, low effort but medium time investment

Provide information about another plagiarizer/someone that doesn't give meaningful credit - high effort, requires time to research and compile evidence, has a risk of backlash

Put together a post highlighting writers or artists whose work could be used as a resource for youtube videos or written essays - could be low or high effort, takes time to compile and link examples of the work you'd like to highlight, likely may not be seen by anyone that would actually use those resources and may end up as wasted effort

You're going to see a lot of #1 because it's normal to joke about things and discuss things on social media. And #1 does have the benefit of exposing a larger audience to the videos and informing them on the topic.

A lot of #2 IS happening, but most people don't post to Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr when they subscribe to a new youtube channel or follow a new writer on social media.

Most people don't have the time or energy to create something for #3 or #4 and the ones that do might be drowned out in the circulation of the easiest one which is #1.

Because #1 is easiest there's going to be a lot more of it.

I get the gut urge to assume that people are missing the point because they're not shouting out artists and writers they like.

But realistically that's not the only action to be taken and the easiest actions with positive effects have likely already been taken, in that the actual creators of the stolen content have gotten more traffic and hopefully will get more credit and pay in the future and other creators that needed a spotlight have been spotlighted not only by Harris but by other creators as well.

For example I recently followed La'Ron Readus by reccomendation of FD Signifier who likes La'Ron's content and gave the shoutout in his community tab in reference to Harris's video in order to get La'Ron some more subscribers.

If you have someone cool to show off in your back pocket and you have either an audience that will take a quick link and click it with just a simple "they're cool check them out" or if you don't have an audience but do have the skills to make a convincing pitch about why someone should check them out as a resource for their business or paid creative endeavor please do so! Now is a great time!

TLDR

People at large/the crowd are gonna have some fun with this, but the positive actions that are easiest to take are personal and private so you likely won't see them other than in follower counts --- or (hopefully) a greater shift in youtube etiquette to better credit, pay, and direct an audience and other creators (as potential employers) to the people that made the resources used in videos.

Shout out posts that hype up an artist or writer are great but not everyone is equipped to make them. Not everyone is a hype person or sales person.

If you aren't, then no sweat. It's fine to just bring attention to Harris and Todd's videos through jokes so that more people check them out and get informed.

[dreamwatch]

Get to know me tag game

Thanks for the tags @gleek4twd and @tinytalkingtina! 💗

Favourite colour: I genuinely can’t settle on one. I think I’m mostly drawn to blues and greens, teal and lavender colours.

Last Song: Hotel California by the Eagles. (On my Eagles bullshit again, brewing a Steddie WIP…)

Currently reading: Pfft, what am I not reading? I’ve got 200 tabs of fics open on my iPad and I’m jumping around all over the place, but mostly Steddie Big Bang fics at the moment.

Currently watching: Season 4 of Slow Horses, and going down multiple YouTube rabbit holes. Current obsessions include wood turning, submarines and air crash investigations.

Currently craving: PPIs. No joke, I have severe GERD and I need to do a test that requires me to be off my meds for 10 days minimum so they don’t fuck with the results. It’s agony, and all I can think about is chomping on Omeprazole on Friday.

Coffee or tea: Coffee, vats and vats of it. I’d mainline it if I could.

A hobby you would like to try: Shit, there’s not many I haven’t already tried tbh. Dressmaking/sewing/quilting I think, quilting in particular. I’ve always said if I ever move anywhere with enough room I’m going to buy a sewing machine.

An AU you’re working on/thought of: Okay, none of these are being worked on, I’m not committing to another big fic until I finish the ones I’m already writing, buuuuut…

An Officer and a Gentleman. That ending gets me every fucking time, and I don’t know how I would Steddiefy it but I’d try. Steve in the Zak role and Eddie would obviously be his Paula. ❤️ I like it too because there is plenty of angst in the movie. Lots to play with.

A Star Is Born. I mean, pretty self explanatory that one, but it hit me recently that this would be perfect fodder for Steddie. Eddie in the Jackson Maine role (I mean, you could do the 1937, 1954 or 1976 versions instead, but I’m thinking 2018), and Steve in the Ally role. Full of romance, angst, drama and a bit of whump, delicious.

Ok this is the one I really want to write: Vietnam War. It’s a special interest for me, I have a lot of books on the subject, I’ve watched the Ken Burns doc more times than is healthy, and my first major fandom was The A Team, which was pure 80s action entertainment for the family, but the fanfic… oh, the fanfic. ❤️ This is the one I’ve given really serious thought to, but it’s also the one that needs a lot of research. I have a starting point, Eddie receiving his draft letter, coming home from work and Wayne at the kitchen table with the letter in his hand, absolutely dejected because he knows what it is. Thing is, I’m not sure that it’s a big sprawling epic of a plot that I want to write, more moments in time, vignettes, and maybe not all Eddie POV either. I have an idea for Jonathan meeting Nancy, who is an army nurse, and them falling in love. I think a series might work better, I dunno. But yeah, it’s always rattling around at the back of my mind.

God, I really waffle, don’t I?

No pressure tags as always, apologies if you’ve already been tagged and apologies if you really don’t want to do this.

@jo-harrington @the-unforgivenn @thisapplepielife @kikidoesfanfic @vthx @occasionaloverboy @hitlikehammers

[setmeatopthepyre]

I love love love the absurd little rabbit holes fic research leads me to. my current tabs open are like

U.S. Antarctic Program Participant Guide 2024.pdf

GI Bill Benefits > Flight Training | Veteran Affairs

Monster Jam World Finals VI | Monster Trucks Wiki

Helicopter FLIGHT TRAINING - Complete Helicopter Training Flight Lessons from Day 1 to Private Pilot | Youtube

[matte-green]

Beginner Witch? Start Here

Hey!

Don't worry, we've all been where you are. Excited to start, overwhelmed with information, no idea what to do or where to begin. It can be very discouraging, so let me assist! These are some tips that have helped me IMMENSELY, plus some places to get started.

1. Use a Binder for your Grimoire or BOS

If you're like me and want everything organized and sectioned out, a binder will help immensely. I currently use a A5 6 ring notebook for my grimoire and it makes it VERY easy to move things around where I want them. This is the one i currently use and i bought this along with it for pages and tabs!

2. Learn about closed practices early

There are a lot of people who will see a video of some white woman online waving burning sage around her house and think "oh, she's a witch cleansing her home of evil spirits" (ugh) but this is actually called Cultural Appropriation. I found a really good post on here by @man-i-just-really-like-plants giving a brief breakdown of which practices are closed and what it means. I feel this is essential to know ahead of starting your practice.

Research! Learn!

You've probably already heard this, but its true. Here are some things I recommend you research

The History of Witchcraft (i recommend Triumph of the Moon by Ronald Hutton)

Clairsenses (This page gives a good rundown!)

Herbs that grow locally, and how to harvest them sustainably

things that you are drawn too (crystals, waters and their uses, kitchen witchcraft, ect.)

Just try not to overwhelm yourself! you have plenty of time!

Take all resources with a grain of salt

Anyone can write a book, an article, a blog post, or make a youtube video. So read, watch and practice as much as you can and use what works for you. It is YOUR practice, what works for someone else might not work for you.

Oh, and one more thing

You do not have to be Wiccan to practice Witchcraft!

I see this a lot in newbies, and they stress themselves out over the rules of practice within Wicca because they think wicca = witchcraft. If you aren't looking to be wiccan, don't be! There are Norse Witches, Christian Witches, Secular Witches, ect.

You don't have to be a part of any particular religion to practice! The energy surrounding all of us in this universe, and your intent, is all you need!

If you have any questions just ask! And if there is anything anyone wants to add, go right ahead!

~matte

[going-to-ikea-for-the-fries]

I Got You. - OC Backstory

pairing: COD OC!Victoria "Whiskey" Callahan x MootOC!Rosie (platonic) words: 3.3k~ cw: canon-typical violence/talk, attempt at military accuracy, espionage, government conspiracies, paranoia, mental breakdown/issues, physical/health neglect, flashbacks.

August 6th, 2023. 2139 hours. Comrie, Scotland.

Whiskey's splayed out on the bed. She snaps a picture that catches only her tired eyes, knit eyebrows and poofy brown hair in the darkness of the room, before typing some random caption and shooting it off to Meabh.

It was typical for them to text through Snap. It was the only social app Whiskey kept after she left home 5 years ago. Her phone was void of other apps other than food delivery, youtube, her e-mail and Snapchat.

At the top of the screen, a pop-up appears, announcing the arrival of a new e-mail on her inbox. A Facebook one, from an account she long abandoned, along with her abandoning all other social medias. And yet, the name 'Holly Willi-' cut off by the character limit had her raising a brow.

Tapping at the notification, her e-mail client opened with an automated e-mail from Facebook alerting her that Holly Williams had sent her a direct message. Now that's new.

Holly Williams... That was one of dad's cousins. From Grandpa Willie's side of the family, if her memory served her. She remembers family dinners and barbecues spent together, her big Irish-American family getting together for the 4th of July, and Thanksgiving, and Christmas.

She hasn't seen her 'Aunt Holly' (even though the woman was really her first cousin once removed) since before she went to university nearly 13 years ago. What could the woman want now?

Clicking on the link, she's taken to the Facebook client page on her browser and after trying, failing, and reseting the password of her account, she clicks the DM tab and opens the message:

Hi Vicky dear, it's your auntie Holly. Hope you're doing well. I heard about your papa, my condolences. I hope it's not a bother but I reached out to your mama to talk to your daddy about some military things and she sent me your way because she said you're in the navy. I see you haven't uploaded anything in a few years so this might not even reach you but I could use your help very urgently and I'm frankly desperate. If you see this, is there anyway you could call me at this number? It's very important!!! Thanks. Aunt Holly x

Her brow scrunches. Since when does Aunt Holly need to talk about the military? Isn't she a professor? Whiskey clicks on her profile and checks her job listing. Right, she's a History professor in NYU. So what's this? Is this for some research study of hers?

But then again, she said it herself that she's desperate... And the tone of her message isn't the most uplifting one... She sounds like she's really in need of her help... And Whiskey has never been good at being heartless. Sighing and scratching her head, Whiskey sits up in bed.

She copies the number from the DM and calls it, hearing the repeated beeping of the call attempting to connect as Simon comes up the stairs and into the bedroom, sweatpants close to falling off his hip and wrapped in a warm sweater.

He raises a brow at her as she's holding the phone to her ear, signaling vaguely to indicate it's an important call, so he takes a spot beside her, with an arm around her waist.

"Holly Williams." The older woman greets on the other side, her voice professional, like she was waiting for a work call.

"Hey, Aunt Holly, it's Victoria." Whiskey murmurs, her southern accent suddenly triggering full-force, like it hasn't in over three years.

-

August 10th, 2023. 1321 hours. Yonkers, New York.

"When you get there, please, you need to understand, she's... she's not herself."

Victoria climbed out of the Uber and popped open the trunk, pulling out her black suitcase, and thanking the driver with a nod and a wave before he drove off.

Then, she stood in front of the brownstone townhouse, eyeing it up and down, with inquisitive eyes, before taking a deep breath and climbing the front steps to the stoop.

"She hasn't been the same, not after Alex passed away."

The doorbell rings inside the house for a few moments, before the door opens and a pale face regards her from the other side, strawberry blonde curls disheveled, eyes heavy with dark circles.

"Hey, Rosie..." Victoria greets gently. The woman knew she was coming, Aunt Holly having warned her. "It's me, Victoria... Vicky, remember?" She asks in a soft tone, hoping she's not too far gone yet.

"Vicky..." Rosie says softly as she regards the slightly shorter brunette with wild, crazied eyes but eventually nods and unlocks the door all the way, letting Victoria inside.

"When you see her, please... be kind to her. She's really struggling..."

Victoria remembers the last time she saw Rosemary. Victoria had to have been 16. Rosie had just graduated from college, and it was the summer. At the time, she always dressed in bright colors, a hippy style, with Birkenstocks galore... She was very put together, healthy, pretty. They weren't the closest cousins in the world, but they spent time together during the holidays; Rosie taught Vicky how to do her hair to keep her curls healthy; they spoke about boys...

Before coming here, Victoria had even checked her cousin's Facebook page, finding an old album of photos from family gatherings that included the two of them, when they were much, much younger (and happier). It had been so long since they last saw each other... She needed a refresher on her cousin's appearance...

But now, as she's getting let into the house, she realizes Rosemary looks like shit. Somehow, worse than Victoria had expected when her mother had reached out and told her all about the state she is in. Paranoid, manic, depressive and reclusive, Aunt Holly worrying her only daughter was schizophrenic. Her hair looks greasy and matted, and she seems like she's lived in the same outfit for multiple days, maybe weeks. The house reeks. She reeks.

"Nobody can get her out of the house... And she's not taking care of herself..."

The house is dirty and messy, take out containers and paper bags of food delivery strewn about, the trashbag in the kitchen overflowing, the laundry basket in the laundry room too. Every picture frame in the house has blue, yellow, or pink post-its over it, the mirrors as well. Victoria follows her cousin across the house, each step she takes crushing some trash, or nearly tripping over a clothes pile. She's dangerously close to becoming a hoarder, it looks like...

Victoria has to force herself to take a few deep breaths through her mouth and not her nose, so that she doesn't get sick. She knows it would not be helpful in her cousin's state.

Rosie's able to push some trash off the couch to make space for the two of them to sit, though she keeps a large gap between herself and Victoria, probably ashamed of her smell, or appearance, or doubting that she can trust her...

"Every time I try to talk to her... It's like I'm talking to a crazy person... She's my daughter, I love her, but she needs help..."

"Your mom told me some of what's been going on." Victoria begins as she sets her hands on her lap and looks at Rosie with her best attempt at showing empathy and kindness.

"What'd she tell you? That I'm going crazy? I'm not, you know?" Rosie says defensively. "She thinks I'm losing it, and that I need to be committed, but I don't." She assures the brunette.

"Well, no, that's not what she said." Victoria lied. Yes, it had been 100% what Aunt Holly had said when they met up the day before, after she picked Victoria up at the airport, having bawled her eyes out behind the wheel.

"Then what did she say?" Rosie asks directly, her brows knitting together in anxious worry, her hands already trembling on her lap.

"To be honest," Victoria continues, choosing her words carefully, "I didn't understand most of it... I think it'd be best if I heard it from you. Can you tell me what's been going on?" She asked in earnest.

And tell her, Rosie did.

For the next three hours, Victoria heard her ramble and ramble, more and more and more.

About Alex, about his missions, about how Rosie always worried he'd die in the field, how they pronounced him dead in 2019 but she never got to see a body, only his dogtags, and his grave is empty... Victoria thought that was pretty normal, average even... it was the normal treatment for soldiers who died in ways that made it so their body couldn't be recovered... Like during an explosion.

But then Rosie went on and on about how she feels like she's being watched, stalked, surveilled, how she gets stopped by cops too much, and keeps seeing the same faces around the places she usually goes to like Target or Walmart, how there's a van parked outside 24/7, how she's sure that there's cameras and microphones around the house... And it was all being too much.

"She thinks she's being stalked, watched by the govenment, and like they're out to get her."

"Rosie... why would the government be doing such a thing?" Victoria asked her in earnest once she paused in her rants.

"You're not LISTENING!" Rosie complained, her body already having started to shake in distress as she retold everything to her cousin.

"No, no, I am listening. I'm just trying to understand." Victoria replied in an attempt to soothe her and gently took her hands in hers, which caused Rosie to tear up.

"It's NOT the government, it's the CIA!" The blonde shrieked and sniffled, trembling beside Victoria. "Alex was an agent... he..." She trailed off and shook her head. "Nobody tells me anything, I tried calling, nobody tells me!"

Victoria sighed and carefully scooted closer, taking a breath and daring to wrap an arm around Rosemary's form, in the gentlest of ways. "That tends to happen a lot, you know? They... well... when a soldier dies a gruesome death. They close the cases and put high clearances in place so that it doesn't shock the family." The brunette said.

"She's in complete denial, Vicky. She's living in her paranoia and delusion..."

"No!" Rosemary argued. "He's not dead, Vicky, he's not! Whatever... Whatever happened, they're covering it all up! They- he's not dead! They didn't even tell me how he died! Not even if it was heroic or anything!" She wailed as a hiccuping sob rattled her and shook her form against Victoria's side.

Victoria sighed and looked around the room. She was not equipped to deal with this. She half wished that Simon was here. He had dealt with people in altered states of mind, his brother, especially...

"You need to help me, Vicky... You're my only hope! You have to find out what happened. You know people, right? My mom said your mom said you're in the Special Forces! You know things?!" Rosie whined in a pitiful tone, her big blue eyes glued to Victoria's, and making her own hazel ones soften.

"I'll try, Rosie... But even I don't have that high of clearance..." Victoria replied in a soothing tone. "But I promise I'll try."

Victoria meant it. Her cousin might be mental and delusional, but, at least, Victoria could poke around a little bit and see if she could at least find what happened to the body...

"Where did you say he was sent to?" The soldier asked with a cocked brow, her hand gently rubbing Rosie's arm and shoulder in her best attempt at being comforting.

"In the Middle East... Urzikstan, I think..." Rosemary replied and looked up at Victoria. "You're going to look into it, right?" She pleaded.

Victoria nodded. "Of course I will." She replied and smiled at her, trying not to let the feeling of instant dread that was growing in the back of her mind from showing on her face.

Urzikstan... Price and Kyle were just there last year... Working alongside the militia there.

"Now... how about I help you give this place a tidying up... and you go take a shower, and try to relax, hm?" She offered.

Rosie's face began to flush a bit, with the sudden reminder that she had been neglecting herself and probably smelled so bad... And here was Victoria hugging her. "I probably should..." She trailed off and began pulling away from the other woman.

The brunette let her go and nodded. "Call me up when you're done, I'll help do your hair, how's that?" She offered and smiled kindly at Rosie.

Rosemary gulped and nodded. "Yeah..." She got up, beginning to shuffle out of the living room. She stopped by the door and turned back to look at her cousin. "Thank you for this... for everything..." She said gratefully.

Victoria shook her head. "Don't thank me. That's what *family*'s for, right?" She asked, though the word family, one she hadn't used in a while, left a bitter taste in her mouth. Rosie nodded and then disappeared back upstairs.

Once Victoria heard the bathroom door upstairs shutting with a loud thud, she bounced up off the couch.

Whiskey mode activated and she began looking around the room, pulling out her cellphone and turning on the flashlight to shine it off any hidden nook and cranny, like behind the TV, and inside the A/C vents.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

Five fucking cameras, just in the living room and entryway alone. She doesn't want to imagine how many more are hidden throughout the house.

It seems that Rosie isn't as delusional and crazy as Aunt Holly thought...

Approaching the window, Whiskey pulls the blinds aside and pears out through the gap, pushing her back against the wall, looking up and down the street. She notices the white van parked a couple hundred feet away, advertising a dry-cleaning service. She knows immediately that that's where they operate from.

She almost wants to go over, with her pistol in hand, and scare them off. But she knows better than to fuck with the Agency... And, even more so, when she's not here as Whiskey, but as Victoria. As a civilian, with no armor, just a red halter top and jeans and boots, coming to visit her cousin.

Huffing, she shakes her head and closes the blinds again. "God damn it..." She murmurs, already feeling her own paranoia rising and her hackles rising. She's going to need to pull some strings to find out what in the hell went so wrong in Urzikstan 4 years ago that now an innocent civilian is being surveilled.

With another sigh, Victoria turns and looks around the room, noticing all the trash and, with a deep breath, she sets down her belongings on the cleared couch and enters the kitchen to seek out a pair of gloves and a trash bag.

This is going to be a long fucking day.

-

August 11th, 2021.

0209 hours.

Victoria lies sprawled on the bed next to Rosie, the two girls staring at the ceiling.

It had been hours upon hours of tidying up and cleaning, but the house was finally clean, the trash taken out, and Rosemary much less disheveled.

They lay together, side by side, holding each other's hands, more for Rosie's comfort, which Victoria has acquiesced to. Victoria has a handle of bourbon in her hand which both her and Rosie occasionally take sips from.

"So you got married...?" Rosie murmurs and rolls her head toward Victoria. She's groggy, a mix of the alcohol, a full belly, a warm shower, a couple of melatonin gummies and the whiskey.

"Mhm." Victoria replies as she glances at Rosemary. "I didn't expect you to still be with dick boy." She quips.

The comment is funnier than Rosemary expected it to be, probably because of the state she's in, but she starts cackling aloud, snorting delightfully at it.

"Oh my God, I forgot he damn near showed his dick to grandma Patty while coming out of the pool." Rosie groans and shakes her head. "God, Alex was so embarrassed, he never wanted to go back!"

"That's what he was embarrassed of? Not that stupid fuckin' pube-looking mustache of his?" Victoria's comments, absolutely roasting the man, the alcohol having loosened her lips. "Did he still have that when he left for Urzikstan?"

Rosie once again has lost her mind belly laughing at the scathing comments her cousin made about Alex. Oh, how she needed the laughter.

"Noooo! It filled out. He had a nice thick mustache by then..." She replies and shakes her head, a soft smile on her lips.

"Well, at least there's that. I guess he outgrew his bad fashion choices." Victoria comments before she leans her head up to take another gulp of the bourbon on her bottle.

"Oh no he didn't!" Rosemary complains and suddenly seems to get a burst of energy, leaning forward to look at Victoria right in the eye. "He has the American flag tattooed on him!"

It's Victoria's turn to laugh, nearly choking on the drink, and causing the sweet, smooth alcohol to slide down her chin as she laughs. "Fuck off, no he doesn't?!"

"He DOES!" Rosemary insists. "And a bald eagle too!!!" She adds, which causes them both to laugh more, cackling at the ridiculousness. "I'm serious! Looked the eagle in the eyes once while he was balls deep in me.... You've ever tried getting a dick out of a dry pussy?"

This causes both girls to giggle again, nearly rolling around on the bed, tears forming in their eyes.

"God, and you married that man? He's been a fucking dork for decades now, Rosie!" Victoria complains.

"In my defense, we were drunk and in Vegas, okay?"

"YOU GOT MARRIED IN VEGAS?!"

"You know what?!" Rosie protests and points at Victoria. "We're talking too much about my marriage. What about you?" She asks in an accusatory tone.

Victoria rolls her eyes. "Don't change the subject just because you can't admit you have bad taste."

"Oh shut it!" Rosie nudges her. "You're avoiding the topic too!"

"Am not!" Victoria retorts. "I'm also married to a dork. But, unlike you, I have taste."

"How much of a dork are we talkin'?"

"Has a half-sleeve that's just straight up war motifs. Atom bombs, skulls, bullets..." She trails off. "And he wears a skull mask when he's out shooting terrorists."

"He WEARS what?"

Victoria shakes her head. "Don't make me say it again." She scrunches her nose, mock cringing.

"And you want to talk shit about me marrying Alex? You married, what, an emo?" Rosie quips as she tosses herself back on the bed, laughing again.

Victoria joins her, covering her eyes with her arm and giggling away, properly so, for the first time in three years. "God, we have bad taste, don't we?" She murmurs.

"You think it runs in the family?" Rosie asks with a playful tone and giggles again.

But this time, however, Victoria doesn't laugh. Instead, her eyes squint in suspicion and she suddenly sits up in bed, looking off into the distance.

How much of a coincidence would that be? Her husband, who is legally dead, who faked his own death and operates under an alias...

And her cousin's husband... who Lord knows what happened to him... But the CIA has their eyes on her, even though he's dead, so there's no reason to...

What if it really is a cover-up? What if he's only legally dead, just like Simon?

"What?" The blonde beside her asks in a gentle tone, eyebrows knit together. "Vicky, what's wrong?" She prompts, worried.

"...Nothing." Victoria replies as she lays down again after a long moment of silence. "Just realized I have to call Simon and ask him something..." She replies dismissively.

for @lyralein - told you she'd get more than that.

and also @crashtestbunny , @superhero-landing , and @loveandplanet bc you love Whiskey and Ghost