#youre an adult why do our parents keep giving you allowance money.

[echo-s-land]

I love my sister I really do but every time she victimizes herself I-

[angellesword]

BAGGAGE | JJK (06)

Summary: Drowning in debt and blood, Jeon Jungkook knows he's better off alone, lest he brings people down with him.

But one drunken night changes everything.

In a blink of an eye, Jungkook found himself drowning not only in debt and blood, but also in dirty diapers and judgmental stares from you, a.k.a his long-lost love and the guardian of the son he didn't even know existed.

Genre and warnings: best friends to lovers, co-parenting, idiots in love, mutual pining, angst, fluff, implied smut, kissing, minor character death, slight getting back together, drama, OC cusses excessively so watch out

Pairing: dad! Jungkook x adoptive mom!Reader

Word Count: 2.3k

← Previous Chapter (05) | Next Chapter (07) →

****

Six Years Ago, 2017

As much as Jungkook hated to admit it, you were right. This venture with Jimin was doomed.

"Jungkook, what should we do?" Jimin paced back and forth, a rare image of anxiety painted on his face. Jimin always gave Jungkook the perfect picture of a calm adult who knew exactly what he was doing. As such, Jungkook naturally looked up to him. Jungkook was also an adult, but his reliance on Jimin was of another level, allowing him to see that there was something to look forward to in life.

"We have to kill him, Jimin-hyung~." But darkness still loomed over the younger man, only that it was masked by his starry eyes, giving people the wrong impression that he couldn't and wouldn't harm even a fly.

Truth be told, Jimin sighed, but he cast an affectionate look at Jungkook as if Jungkook were his mischievous younger brother who did not propose murder but simply a joke of putting salt in someone's food instead of sugar.

"Jungkook-ah, I'm serious, okay? This can potentially harm our employees. I need you to think of something."

"Who said I was joking?" Jungkook deadpanned and crossed his arms lazily. "You said it yourself. This will harm our people. Why not get rid of the root cause first?"

"Jungkook," Jimin warned, his voice turning serious.

The brunet pursed his lips into a thin line, petulant. He wished to kill Francis Fitzgerald, one of Port Mafia's board members and their certified public accountant. Naturally, Francis dealt with the company's financial statements.

Unbeknownst to Jungkook and the others, Francis used the company's money for his own gain and concealed that the Port Mafia was incurring debt.

"This is all my fault." Jimin blamed himself. He was dating Francis and blindly trusted him, but Jungkook did not want to blame Jimin.

"That son of a bitch is cunning. He'd find another way to hide this from us even if we didn't give him freedom."

Admittedly, the only reason why Jungkook and Jimin found out about Francis' scheme was because Jisoo sent a formal request to inspect Port Mafia's book. Jisoo had been wanting to increase her investment, but she didn't want to jump into the fire immediately. She wanted some sort of proof that Port Mafia was doing well. She couldn’t buy this whole unicorn company thing. Something must be up.

"Maybe we should report this to the authorities. Does anyone else know?"

"Only the two of us, Jisoo and her independent auditor," Jungkook answered. It was all thanks to your sister's painstaking effort that the anomalies were discovered. "You don't have to worry about Jisoo-noona. She'll keep her mouth shut."

"We're really going to hide this?" Jimin was uncomfortable, but what other choice did they have?

"It appears that's the only thing we could do. Unless you change your mind about murder." Jungkook shrugged off. They would just discreetly force Francis to 'resign' and slowly correct his wrongdoings. Jisoo said she knew many reliable accountants and auditors who could handle issues like this silently. Jisoo also said she was willing to buy Francis' shares, though she had no interest in being a board member.

Jungkook was a cunning man, but he had to admit he couldn't exactly figure out why Jisoo was willing to help Port Mafia clean its mess up. Thankfully, Jimin gave Jungkook the go signal to work with Jisoo while he continued to manage their business operation. It gave Jungkook the time to scrutinize Jisoo. He had done the same thing with others before, dining and sweet-talking them until they willingly opened up to him.

"Why the long face, Jisoo-noona? Did you change your mind about helping us~? Or maybe you're just looking for a little extra persuasion~?" The corner of Jungkook's lip ticked up. They were at Jisoo’s house because Jungkook proposed to cook for Jisoo to thank her for helping Port Mafia. He slowly poured wine on Jisoo's glass while maintaining eye contact with her.

Light teasing and flirting usually worked, but Jungkook didn't see the blush on Jisoo's cheeks. She indolently picked up her wine glass and swirled it to release its aroma.

Jisoo did not drink her wine. She furrowed a brow at the younger boy, "Jungkook-ah, tell me. How much do you love my sister?"

Her question stunned Jungkook, causing his throat to get dry. For a moment, Jungkook didn't know what to say. He opened his mouth to speak but pursed his lips at the last minute.

It took a while before Jungkook settled with an answer.

"It's complicated." While it was indisputable that you were his best friend, Jungkook also knew that his bond with you transcended all superficial feelings, such as love. Yes. Love, among other things, was superficial compared to what you were to him.

People often wondered how you and Jungkook remained friends for many years, considering that all you did was fight, but none of those people saw you two’s desperate glances and how soft they actually were. No one understood that while it was easy to buy crab spring rolls, you would rather make them at home and add some pureed vegetables so Jungkook could eat healthier.

Or how no one understood Jungkook's intention of cutting you some slack after all the hurtful words you had said because he knew he'd be damned to take an angry woman’s words at face value.

Love was there—it was easy to say and feel that, but it was a different story, knowing that you might hurt each other. However, at the end of the day, you and Jungkook were each other's constants. You would return to each other's embrace no matter how fucked up the situation was.

People like Jisoo would not understand that, so Jungkook could only settle with a simple "it's complicated" response.

As expected, Jisoo shook her head. She didn't look enthusiastic to hear Jungkook's answer, as her question was merely rhetoric or a preamble.

Jisoo's intention was to tell Jungkook how much you meant to her.

Jungkook smiled. "I know, Jisoo-noona. Everybody loves your sister."

"No, Jungkook." Jisoo stopped swirling her glass. She caught Jungkook's eyes, voice serious. "You don't understand. I love that kid with my life."

You and Jisoo had absent parents, so Jisoo basically raised you.

Jungkook remained silent, sensing that there was more to Jisoo's admission of her feelings for you.

And he was right.

Jisoo stopped swirling the glass; she looked at the crimson liquid intensely, a bitter smile blooming on her face. "This wine seems quite tasty."

"You would know." Jungkook took a sip of his wine. "That's your fourth cup, right—"

Jungkook was abruptly cut off when Jisoo poured the wine on the floor. Its splattering reverberated through Jisoo's dining room.

Then she confessed:

"I'm dying, Jungkook."

The wine glass shattered, broken pieces falling on the floor.

"Jisoo-noona." Jungkook was by Jisoo's side in a flash. He enveloped her in an embrace to get her to stop shaking. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up."

Jungkook sat Jisoo on her couch, bringing a towel to wipe at her hand. He didn't know when their playful banter turned into something this gloomy, but that should be his least concern.

"Are you with me, Jisoo-noona? Come on, breathe." Jungkook usually did this with you. You had quite some temper. Jisoo was the relaxed one, almost always gracious. Her smile was reserved for big occasions only.

It was an...experience to see her like this.

"You're okay, Jisoo-noona. Jisoo." Jungkook learned it was effective to utter someone's name when they were in distress. Fortunately, it worked on Jisoo. She released a deep breath before swallowing thickly.

"You good?"

Jisoo nodded. "Thank you, Jungkook-ah."

"Not a problem," he hummed. "Care to explain to me what you meant earlier?"

Perhaps Jungkook's tone was gentle, so it made it easier for Jisoo to open up. It was part of her plan, anyway. She knew Jimin and Jungkook must have been curious why she still invested in Port Mafia. The truth was, it was all for you.

Cancer.

Jisoo recently found out that she had cancer, and her days in this world were numbered. Jisoo didn't want to leave you alone, so she could only place her bet on Jungkook.

She knew that Jungkook would be in trouble if the authorities found out about Port Mafia's anomalies, and who would care for you if she died and Jungkook ended up locked up in prison?

"I've researched about your company. It would have been good if Francis did not mess up. I see the potential in Port Mafia; that's why I'm risking with you."

As long as Jungkook and Jimin stayed vigilant and not let scums like Francis come back, then Port Mafia would continue to prosper. By the time Jisoo was gone, all her investment would be passed down to you. That was her goal. She wanted you to enjoy a financially stable life with Jungkook.

"Are you going to tell her about your health situation?" That was all Jungkook could say.

Jisoo puffed a breath, kind of like a snicker. "Are you going to tell her  about your business situation?"

There was a pause in the air.

And then they both laughed. They both knew the answer to their question.

"Did you know why exposing Fitzgerald's crime to the authorities is not an option?"

Jisoo shook her head at that. She had meant to ask that; luckily, Jungkook made it easier.

Francis Fitzgerald was not the only one who had something to hide. Jungkook and Jimin weren't exactly clean.

Port Mafia was a business process outsourcing company. Everyone around Jungkook thought that he chose to venture into this kind of business for money, and while that was true, it was not his primary goal.

Park Jimin opened Jungkook's mind to what was happening to the world—how unfair it was and what they could do to make it slightly better.

Their solution was to make Port Mafia a catalyst for changing immigrants' lives. Not just immigrants but illegal immigrants. These people had built a life in Incheon and would never choose to go back to their own country that couldn't provide them with a proper lifestyle because of war and corruption.

Jungkook and Jimin hired these people to give them a chance at a better living. If they were to expose Fitzgerald's crime, there was no doubt that the government would also pry about how they conduct their operation. Everything would be exposed, and their employees would be at risk of deportation.

It was a band-aid solution, and Jungkook and Jimin were aware of that, but how cruel could one be to just sit and watch those people suffer?

"It's a different feeling, Jisoo-noona. I know their lives shouldn't be reduced to my feelings because Jimin-hyung often tells me it's not about us, but you're not there. No one else saw how happy those kids are..."

Jungkook never liked kids, but he would never forget when one of the kids ran to him, hugging his leg and telling him how happy he was. He didn't have to eat the bitter chocolate anymore—the bitter chocolate being dirt.

"This world is cruelly unfair." Jisoo felt defeated. One thing about sick people was how easy it was for them to be covered in a mist of bluishness. Jisoo did not see the point of living anymore. These days, all that prevailed was regret of how she lived her life and hope of how she could make someone else's life worth it.

"How much time do you have left?"

Jisoo shrugged noncommittally. "Depends. Longer with chemotherapy, shorter without chemotherapy."

"And what do you plan on choosing?" Jungkook just couldn't shut up with his damn questions.

"Are you kidding me?" Jisoo scoffed, feeling a bubble of anger rise in her. She furiously wiped at her mouth, the trace of lipstick gone. This was the only time Jungkook had seen her lose her cool. "I don't want to die with no hair. Fate is cruel enough to me. This."

She pointed at her lips and continued to wipe them with her bare hand, "Is of no use to me anymore. I can apply makeup and all those expensive skincare, and it will all be for nothing. Can't I die with my hair? Can't I die looking like me?"

She did not want to be remembered as someone sick. She wished to die simply as Jisoo, the girl with a reserved and pretty smile.

"Jisoo-noona," Jungkook called when he noticed Jisoo was shaking again.

She shook her head aggressively. "I'm so fucked up, Jungkook."

Jungkook held her hands, squeezing them. "You're not alone."

Tears trickled down her cheeks.

"We're so fucked up."

"We're so fucked up." Jungkook agreed.

They were inches away from each other.

"My sister can't know about this."

Their noses touched.

Jungkook hummed, cupping Jisoo's face, "Your sister will not know about this."

The first touch of their lips was like fire, hot enough to burn all evidence of their messed up life. They seemed to agree on one thing:

Grief.

They grieved about their imperfect lives, which they so badly wanted to share with the person they loved the most (you ) but couldn't.

You couldn't know about this because your life was perfect. You had everything, a good educational degree, friends and family who loved you, and a life where you wouldn't be scared to wake up thinking it was your last day as a free man or a living man.

With every touch and thrust, Jisoo and Jungkook grieved a life you had, but they could never have.

In each other’s wretched body was where they found the solace the world took away from them.

And come morning, when they were both sober, all that was left were sadness and fear.

← Previous Chapter (05) | Next Chapter (07) →

***

A/N: This is a short chapter and I might regret posting this immediately, but it's here and I'm going crazy. Anon people in my inbox, thank you for reading this fic, but I noticed most of you are so stressed. Please hhuhuh not to be that person, but...the fictional characters are not in the room with us right now. It's okay. I love you all.

Not gonna lie, I am thinking it's a mistake to turn this into a JJK fic, because as a soukoku fic, the characters' actions just make sense, you know? But here...things are just different, I guess. But anyway, enough rambling. It's going to work out in the end. When is the end? I don't know. hahahaha

I recently posted a light JJK oneshot, read this if you want to calm down. This is pretty much fluff and crack 😆 click here

Good night. <333

[puppetwoman17]

@ace-is-undead It’s nice to meet a new fan! I hope you make lots of friendships on here❤️

For anyone who’s curious, this person asked me:

as someone taking interest in Captain Marvel because of the movies (never heard of him before :/), I'd love to know why you think the movies ruined Billy's image! Bear in mind, I recently started reading some comics about Shazam

I knew I’d be making a hella long comment, so I thought, hell, let’s make a post!

Now, as a preface, I worded what I said a little too strong. The 2019 movie isn’t the worst piece of Shazam/CM media ever. There are definitely parts of it that I liked. The humor was 10/10 for me, and I did like the costumes. There are things about the story I don’t like, but for the purpose of all of us not sitting here for the next two hours, I will stick with just Billy’s personality.

This post will probably have stated everything more eloquently than me lol:

Many Golden Age heroes were created/used to combat war trauma. To the kids who read those comics, it made them feel safe. To read about these people with fantastical abilities, who regularly fought Nazis, supervillains, and entire armies.

Captain Marvel was a little different, though. It wasn’t an adult who was doing the protecting. Or, it wasn’t JUST an adult. It was also Billy Batson. A kid, like all of the other kids reading these comics. And it was different from kid heroes like Robin because he was the hero. The main hero.

Before the New52 reboot, basically from the 40s-2000s, but I could be wrong, Billy was a homeless kid. His uncle Ebenezer threw him out after his parents died and stole his inheritance. He got a job at Whiz Radio and became a reporter, giving him enough money to get his own apartment.

In one continuity, his friend Dudley becomes his guardian. In the most famous interpretation, the Power of Shazam series from the 90s, he is, after some time, adopted by his twin sister Mary’s adoptive family the Bromfields, and Nora Bromfield happens to be their mother’s cousin.

The important thing to grasp from this is that Billy was independent. Responsible. And when he got his powers, he was also responsible with them. He has a few fumbles, but he was always able to keep them and do good with them.

His Captain Marvel persona was also like that. He led the Squadron of Justice, a team of Fawcett heroes. There are also instances of heroes like Batman and Superman praising him as a trustworthy hero, even knowing about his identity.

It’s also important to note that, while in some times the Captain character is childish, he is never stupid. He makes mistakes, is a little goofy, but he never does anything outright cringe worthy.

A prime example of a good interpretation is the JLU episode Clash. The whole JL really likes him. For some reason my tumblr is acting up today so I can’t put any videos without it not allowing me to type afterwords. But the series is on Netflix. Like holy heck, Bruce says they all like him because he’s sunny. Bruce!

There’s also comic examples, like Action comics #768, which is in the POV of Superman. I’m just gonna put everything Clark thinks as text.

“And then it happens.”

“Armed with the wisdom of Solomon, the patience of Atlas, and the focus of Achilles, a teenage boy in the body of a man defends human kind to a frog goddess.”

“I can’t imagine anything more ludicrous. I can’t imagine anything more moving.”

“With unmatched eloquence, he explains humanity’s needs, our weaknesses, and our relationships with nature to a being as old as time.”

“She retorts. It’s not the act itself that enrages her, but the fact that her people are taken for granted.”

“Bred, butchered, wasted. Without appreciation for the contribution to the lifecycle.”

“He emphasizes. It is a horrible thing to be underestimated, unappreciated, forgotten.”

“His sincerity is a living thing. They speak for an eternity until Heqt has been heard and appeased.”

“Then, the war is over. Diplomacy and reason succeeds, where force…where I… simply would have failed.”

This is another example:

I mean the whole Captain Marvel-focused panel is Clark and Bruce arguing with Diana that Cap will be a great asset to the League, and how Bruce wants him on because he’s just GOOD. They all knew he was a kid, and they didn’t care because they trusted him that much!

Many 80s and 90s comic showed Cap as this beacon of hope, very akin to his Fawcett era, which is why so many of us liked it. He was still goofy at times, but it never overshadowed how much of a hero he was. Hell, the Fawcett heroes never gave a damn about him being a kid. All they saw was a person doing good, and they automatically began working with him.

He would get into friendly tussles with Superman, and him and Diana hugged one time, and she confided in him about how she might die. I can’t find the issue, but it’s drawn by Alex Ross, so that may narrow it for you.

Cap was genuinely respected. There are even some comics where Billy’s is interacting with the League as himself and they treat him like any other friend!

And Billy was chosen not because he was a last resort, but because the Wizard saw so much good and purity in him. He still made mistakes, but he was never not worthy.

Compare that with, not just the Shazam movies, but the DCAMU movies(JL War & Throne of Atlantis), and you get a whole other monster. I mean, he is just dumb, awful. He’s good when he’s Billy, a little snarky while also being a good person and comforting Cyborg(before taking his jersey, lol). But when he’s Shazam(his name in the DCAMU) every single thing that came out of his mouth was just… not it. If gets even worse in Throne of Atlantis. Literally almost everyone on the team hates him. The only reason Cyborg doesn’t is because he knows his identity.

In the 2019 Shazam movies, hes very similar. They made him a lot more jaded, which just ruined his character for me because Billy is the type of person who would rather die than talk down to other kids going through what he did. I’m cool with the rebelliousness, it’s just that that I’m worried about. It’s even worse in the 2013 shazam comic series because he’s actually way meaner there. Like jeez, why do you want me to hate this boy so much DC??

And as his Shazam self, he’s like ten times more goofy and irresponsible, which is such a backwards take it’s insane.

The character of Captain Marvel was beloved by so many children because it showed that they could be just like those other heroes. They could fight the monsters and get the job done, and no one would look down on them. They would be taken seriously. Seeing this kid bond with and interact with and be trusted by these seasoned adult heroes was EVERYTHING.

I may not have a grown up in the 40s/50s, but I did get introduced to him in JLU, and then Young Justice, and then obscure media, and then comics. And through that journey, the take I loved infinitely more was of Captain Marvel being this guy who made mistakes, but always tried to do the right thing.

Making him out to be this…immature dude who never knew what he was doing just stomped on all of us. It also really irks me because that is how some people will be introduced to him. As opposed to who he really is. And they won’t be interested because the face value is all they’ll see.

Heck, some people think he’s one of the weakest DC characters when he ranks in the top ten. He’s the Champion of Magic and guardian of the Rock of Eternity for Pete’s sake! He’s fought and almost won against the Specter himself! (Day of Vengeance comic series, it’s so good!)

It’s unclear why his character has been so diminished. Some people, including me, think DC is trying to lower his…everything in general so he can never measure up to the Man of Steel, which is so petty it’s ridiculous.

Hopefully he’ll get something in James Gunn’s new DCU, a movie or a show. Because I feel like there’s a chance to reintroduce the true Captain/Shazam to people.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my petty-fueled rant😅. Sorry for the angry spews. Anyway, there are some good reading lists for Shazam/Cap on tumblr. I really advise you to check those out. Though there are also a few articles on google listing all of his appearances, so if you wanna get detailed then those are where you should go.

We also have a Captain Marvel fan club! Go over to @im-not-buying-it-ether and ask for an invite for more content.

I hope you have a fulfilling journey!

[horce-divorce]

something something about the power imbalance inherent to being an unhoused person, how similar it is to the dependency that abusers intentionally foster in their relationships to keep victims from leaving. but if you're homeless and someone is putting you up, especially if it's for free/some kind of exchange other than rent, you're basically expected to put up with whatever indignity they can imagine for you and still just be grateful. And if you set a boundary or speak up for yourself in any kind of way, that's Taking Advantage of this poor kind person who's doing SO much for you already, how could you?

sorry its 2am and I'm trying to write a better draft about this for later too but its like. being homeless is a huge, huge vulnerability. ppl people will look to exploit that, intentionally or not. and doubly so if you're homeless because you're disabled.

also something the ableism involved... about how I know so many fellow disabled people who have struggled with homelessness, and we all have similar stories about people we trusted, friends or loved ones who seemed all too happy to help and take us in, and how we repeatedly impressed upon them the nature of our health and the situation, and they swore up and down that they understood and that we were on the same page about boundaries and expectations... only to have them blow up and kick us out at the absolute first sign of conflict or miscommunication, or because we didn't get jobs fast enough, or because we didn't contribute financially even after being told that wasn't expected, and so on.

and how, I know so many housed people who have never been through this, who all have very similar stories about how they tried to help a friend in need once, and they were SO lazy and horrible and took SO long to get their shit together that they clearly were just a freeloader taking advantage who should've never been trusted, just like all homeless people, and that's why we give them socks and canned beans instead of money.

I was never allowed to complain about ableist expectations or abled people ignoring my boundaries in my parents' home. Especially not after I became a disabled adult who still needed help with housing. And that's been true of most of the couch-hopping I've done since then, too.

Currently we have a fairly nice situation... we live with a trusted and pleasant friend. It's a whole house, not an apartment. Not even in the city. We have our own entire room. We don't have to pay rent or anything. It's temporary even aside from our discomfort, it's just been a nice place to land for the cold months.

However. Friends parents are not so chill. Their dad is the most disgusting man alive and has repeatedly gotten us sick bc he's always got something, bleeds all over and never cleans it up, never washes his hands, leaves his dentures on countertops and tables with food still stuck on them, coughs all over our stuff and never masks, is actively making the mouse infestation worse with all the food he leaves out, and puts our health at risk in SO many ways.

he used to work in Healthcare btw. His wife still does. They know we're here bc we're homeless; they know we're both disabled and immunocompromised; neither of them will wear a mask. Both of them are constantly coughing everywhere and not even covering their mouths. We've tried to politely bring this to their attention multiple times and nothing changes. They just ignore us.

We could literally die from this. We could get lifelong health complications even worse than what we have now. Bel lost his sense of taste today and now we're terrified that it's gonna be long covid or something else that sucks what little joy is left from our daily lives.

You lose everything, and then you're supposed to just say nothing and accept your lot, no matter how much danger you're in, because beggars can't be choosers. If you're disabled and poor you'd better just be fine with people abusing you and putting your health and safety at risk indefinitely, because you're lucky they're even helping you at all instead of JUST abusing you.

You dont get to have a home. You dont get to collect things, or keep sentimental things, or have a whole, adequate wardrobe. You get what you can carry with you and what won't get stolen or destroyed by others, or by the nature of moving so much. You dont get to have safety and stability and roots and community. You dont get the dignity of boundaries or your own space. You get what you get and you don't throw a fit. And be happy and say "thank you" if people are merely ignoring you instead of actively silencing you. And if the people "helping" you actually give you the thing that kills you, at least you didn't die of exposure, I guess? Or something?

Its just. Every single thing you do as both a homeless & disabled person reminds you how utterly worthless you are to the """normal""" people around you. Every day. It's so demoralizing.

[teentoospoiled]

How & Why Celibacy Works

Ussy Costs Funds, Ick is Free

Level Up Lecture: Xesual Economics 101

Disclaimer: I am an adult cisgender woman targeting a teen audience. I encourage all teens to share and/or include their parents in the conversation of our posts for the sake of transparency on my adult end. Thank you for your engagement.

The Walmarts keep the Targets in business. The Family Dollars / Dollar Generals fill in the gaps where the Walmarts fall flat

Target: Celibate

Walmart: Xesually Active Singles

Family Dollar / DG: Xes Workers or Misc.

I’m not saying if you’re a xesually active single, you’re cheap as a person. I am highlighting how celibacy is the premium product that’s preferred by customers in the market.

There are people who would drive to another Target if their local one is out of something versus heading to the Walmart or Family Dollar within their location.

POV: You’re selling ussy (p or b in front ;)

Everybody sells ussy even if they are poor businessmen. I’m gonna teach you how to market and leverage your coochie correctly.

Men (masculines) marry for the main incentive: in-house ussy.

Pick Up This Gem: This is why you do not move in with them until you’ve at least received an engagement ring.

You are aware of the fact that all masculines want access to your ussy…eventually. Now that you know this, you are going to dangle it over their heads until they give you the things (or lifestyle) you want.

Marriage

Gifts

Business or personal investments, etc.

Choose which ussy you have:

Target Ussy - higher prices, Starbucks, target customer is not on a tight budget seeking steals, strong brand loyalty (driving to another Target versus visiting competitors)

Walmart Ussy - mid range prices, hit or miss with consumers and their affordability thus the wide range of products

Family Dollar / DG -lowest prices, accessible for low income buyers (girls with cheap bfs or baby daddy’s, not SWers) accessible for buyers seeking instant gratification which is affordability.

Answer Now!: Who is your target customer?

MY TARGET CUSTOMER

Disposable income

Regular shopper

Money management, but generous spending

Most likely you listed something that aligns with Target’s target audience, right? It’s ok if you feel like it’s a Target / Walmart (hit or miss remember?).

This is how the Walmarts (xesually active singles) keep the Targets (abstinence and celibates) in business; Target has a competitor to leverage their premium product against.

If you don’t like it, go to our competitors (Walmart / DG). Why?

Because the fact that you can’t afford / don’t prefer Target (no xes until marriage) is the reason why our regular customers shop here, and many of them spend a lot each Target trip.

Customers= Masculines

There are plenty of high spending, high quality, high earning people who shop exclusively at Walmart or rotate stores for the best prices. This is how Walmart balances the market, allowing Target to market as the premium place to shop.

If you chose NO:

Quick Breakdown

This is the best time to remain abstinent or practice celibacy because the market is saturated with free / easy access opportunities for xes. It’s a marketing strategy to reserve your body for exclusive access, especially if you’ve never had xes b4.

Exclusive access has the leverage to insist on getting what they want before entry is allowed.

This leverage is lacked or lessened when you allow xesual access prior to securing your goal(s) at hand-marriage, gifts, investment, etc.

You’re not reserved, which means access to you is not exclusive even if you are rarely used. This is where the leverage of abstinence and celibacy comes in.

Bluntly: the (high quality) masculines who can offer the most fun and funds usually prefer exclusive access. Most people prefer exclusivity to feel special. Dare to tell me I’m wrong

This leverage allows you to make a luxury sale, similar to fashion houses or upscale lounges.

POV: You are a nightclub

You require patrons to book a table and a bottle of champagne before being allowed into the club.

Your “table” and “champagne” is equivalent to requiring a masculine to marry you before gaining entry into your body.

If they don’t like it, point the person to the BYOB or the club that’s more of their style.

Exclusive Access = The premium, preferred product by a higher class/ quality / spending group of consumers.

Now, I hope that made sense.

TIP 2 TEEN SELF: Learn about proper hypergamy early on. Not the SB/ SW stuff even amongst hypergamy content. Take the time out to learn how to date up and build yourself into becoming the woman who thrives in high quality environments instead of shying away or fumbling.

Homework: Listen to this Science of Birds podcast. Take notes on how the “choosy” female bird chooses which male to make babies with

BuyMeACoffee, but I prefer wine ;)

[animal-lover-forever]

I just watch a YouTube video about insane and abusive parents. Parents only allowing 2 showers per week; parents freaking out and threatening to call the cops if their grown adult child doesn't want to share their location with them, (tracking apps) or if they've moved out of the house and they want them to "come home"; Parents who literally destroyed phones because their child didn't give then there phone's password; and even parents who tried to sell things that their child bought with their own money, or just getting angry when their kid eats/uses something that they bought for themselves with their own money, and don't share it with the rest of the family or the parents themselves; some parents even going as far as to lock their minor child outside for a night!

My mom is awesome! She not neglectful, nor is she abusive. She allows me to do my own thing, and if I buy something with my own money, she does not expect me to give her something. (All though I do know that she knows, that what's mine is hers. I love her a lot, and when I have money to spend, I will often get her something as a kind gift/gesture.) She respects my privacy, and trust me. She does not expect anything out of me, other then doing my fair share of the chores, and helper her if she needs it. She is the kind of woman to keep a roof over her kids heads, when they need it most, even if they disrespect her. (I always hated how my oldest brother treated our mom so horribly, and she didn't stand up for herself very much. Sure she used her voice to tell him that she didn't like what she was doing, but it often didn't matter because he kept doing it anyway. Because he failed to understand that this was her house, not his; and he doesn't make the rules, she does. Because it does not matter that he is 28, he is in her house, a house that she was kind enough to offer a room in; She did not have to do that.) She is hard working, and always does her part and then some; even if she's always hurting. She is just over all a great person, and I love her for that!

My dad on the other hand, is a rude narcissus. He likes to play these "games" like, "what's wrong with the car?" Where he will repeatedly press the gas and breaks over and over again, making the car continuesly jerk; or he will swerve the car left to right over and over again; in both situations, he will repeatedly say "What’s wrong with the car!?". But will then go on to tell me that I'm "to immature", and he won't let me "get behind the wheel of a killing machine", all just because I didn't want to do the dishes right then and there; or that, "if I can't follow directions around the house, then I won't be following directions on the road." Here's the thing, following the laws of the road, is more important than getting you a coke zero out of the fridge, and in your hands as fast as possible! He also tells me that I'm "to immature" and "inexperienced" to get a job; but he won't allow me ways "to gain maturity" or "experience". But oh my gosh! When I told him I was moving back to Oklahoma, with my mom, I was suddenly "experienced" and "mature enough" to get a job. (He lives in Utah. And my parents are divorced.)

When telling him I made the decision to move back in with my mom. (Because the household was toxic. My dad, and stepmom where having at least three fights a day, my stepbrother was also joining into these fights a lot; he also kept threatening my dad, and even told his mom that she should shoot him herself. On top of that my dad didn't even pay much attention to me, unless it was for his own benefit.) He kept asking why I wanted to move back in with my mom, and every time I gave the same answer. "Because, 1. I'm tired of living in a toxic and harmful household. 2. I will have an easier time getting a job. (Since you deny me that option.) And 3. I'll be able to get my driver's license." So he in return replied with, "So your only leaving because I won't let you behind the wheel of a killing machine! Because I won't let you have your way, but your mamma will!" I of course, deny this, because my main reason for leaving was the toxic household, the other two reasons where just added bonuses.

When guilt tripping didn't work, he tried to manipulate me. I am fully aware that my parents have shared custody of me, but when I threw that fact at him, he told me that was no longer the case, and that he now had full custody over me. This of course was not true, but a lie to try and keep me with him. When I had confronted my mom about this confused, she did tell me this was not the case, and that they still have shared custody. When telling my dad this, he told me that she was lying. (He says that a lot; my mom is just some kind of lying monster, that just doesn't know how to tell the truth. But don't worry! Because he won't "sugarcoat that shit.")

Eventually he just straight up told me he wasn't going to allow me to move back in with my mom. So in return, I told him that, "I would interact with him for as long as I had to, but as soon as I turn 18 I would leave and never return. So he better 'enjoy mcompany's, because my 18th birthday would be the last time he would ever see or hear from me again." (I was 16 at the time) (And, I may be lazy, but when I set my mind to something, I'm stubborn as HELL!) And the next thing I knew, I was on the next flight to Oklahoma.

My point is, for all of those people who have one or more abusive parents/step-parents; just know you're not alone. For all of you who are over the age of 18, I wish you the best of luck getting them to respect you as a human being, or just trying to get them out of your life completely. And for those who are under the age of 18, I wish moments of happiness until you're 18th birthday, then I wish you all the happiness and peace you could ever hold.

[6ad6ro]

advertisement drives me mad. money makes me sick. the idea that i have to work to survive makes me wanna give up. if i see another corporation mistreating it's customers, i'll burn a corporate building down. why did we as people let it get this bad? why are the worst kinds of people always the ones in charge? this whole hatred of minorities is so obviously braindead, so why is it so prevalent in society?

why are trans kids dying, when who gives a shit what people choose to do with their bodies or how they choose to identify? why does sexuality matter to someone who isn't involved? why is housing not a human right? why do i have to struggle just to eat, when so much goddamn food is produced daily? why on earth are we destroying the planet when we know how to prevent it? why does your imaginary god or your heaven take precedence over our current reality?

i don't understand why we don't automatically try to keep every person healthy. i don't understand why drug addicts are viewed as evil instead of people who are addicted and need help. i can't fathom why the type of people who fight back against evil corporations in order to save the world are labeled "eco terrorists" when the corporations themselves are so clearly the bad guys. i don't get why "hippies" are mocked when they're just promoting peace and love. i don't get why education is so hard to get and so expensive, when GOD this goes against everyone's interests!

why are disabled people ignored. why are homeless people ignored. why is it "embarrassing" when adults live with their parents, when obviously the economy and housing is so fucked right now. why are rich losers allowed to buy up all the houses to begin with?? why are landlords allowed to exist!? why is an art or music degree viewed as "worthless" when so many of us, even the shitty ones in charge, really only wake up every day because of art. why the fuck is so much plastic produced and thrown away every day?

why can companies sell food that's barely edible. why are social networks allowed to monetize human conflict. why are governments allowed to be in the prison and war business? why on fuckin earth can army recruitment target young kids and poor neighborhoods?? why when covid happened were people still being forced to work when it was literally killing us!? why are pharmaceutical companies allowed to use their customers as guinea pigs? why is nudity in media so bad but violence is just fine? will someone finally admit that we as a society are addicted to tv and videogames to the point of complete social dysfunction??

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS LIFE? WHY ARE WE ALL SUFFERING SO NEEDLESSLY?!?! we all know what's wrong. a toddler could look at this world and know it's all broken. we lie to our kids and tell them things are fine. we treat the concept of "becoming an adult" in the same way we tell them about santa claus. try to keep em as innocent as possible for as long as we can. and none of us grow up. don't lie to yourself. you're a child inside. santa claus, jesus, democracy. capitalism. it's all fairy stories. none of it is real. you know we're giving birth in hell.

so why can't we do something about it? why the FUCK am i not doing something about it?? every day of your life, every fucking moment, make sure you try to change this fucking shithole world. make sure you fight. for yourself and everyone else. be the world's immune system. cure this sickness, this "society". don't you EVER back down. don't you ever fuckin yield.

[lutawolf]

Hi Luta,

It's me the anon who asked you that ask.

First of all, thank you for answering my ask. Thank you very much. Since I am anonymous it's actually ok.

Yes, I do follow you heavily and I have read most of the posts on your blog, that's why I decided to ask you. I was nervously waiting for your answer.

My dad is aware of my mother's illness. He and I were the scapegoats. She tried to file a police report against me and my father but it was stopped by my grandparents.

Currently my father is away at work . He can't be contacted very easily. He will come home in another 6 /7 months.

My mother has actually isolated us from almost everyone we know. She has bad blood with everyone she knows.

My little sibling isn't allowed to leave the house unless it's with her. I am allowed to leave because I have a job and university.

She has tried to get violent with me but I'm much stronger than her.

The mental health institutions in our country are terrible.They are mostly used for 'conversion therapy'.

My mother's rages are extremely uncontrollable. My siblings know that there's something wrong with her and are scared of her.

I have informed some of my closest friends about this issue. I will start documenting everything. She has these weird delusions all the time.

1. She hears sounds that we cannot.

2. She sees things which we can't see. (Eg: A person following her)

3. She talks [like whispers] to herself like she's talking to another person.

4. Has insane rages.[tantrums]

5. Takes revenge if she gets angry at us.

6.Makes food that we can't eat or gives us very little food if we do something to set her off . [Indirect starving, Has tried to poison us.]

7. Won't give us medicine if we get sick. Witholds medication if we make her angry so that we will learn through suffering. Confiscates medicine if she sees them.

7. Won't give us money. (Not a problem for me,but an issue for my siblings)

8.She does stuff by herself and accuses me of doing it.(Eg: Closes the door by herself and then comes to me and accuses me of closing the door.) ( It's like she does it unconsciously and then blames others)

9. Interrogates us in everything we do . I have to go through her interrogation everyday before I leave the house.

10. Sabotaged me from doing a job many times before and prevented me from having relationships.

She is an extremely beautiful woman but has a terrible personality. She is smart and charismatic and very good at manipulating people. In the beginning none of the adults believed me and my brother. Throughout my childhood she hid everything she did tome and my siblings. But from recently,she has started behaving the same way towards my father and her own family. She has this magnetic personality where everyone is attracted to her. (I don't understand how she does that. )She waits until you are fully deep in her web to start acting out.

I was so isolated throughout my childhood, my friends weren't allowed to contact me when I went home. I had a strict schedule and if I got low marks I would be punished severely. I understood everything after I entered university and started to do a job.

She specifically hates me because I'm her daughter ( She sees me as her competition, I think) and my dad is a very quiet man so it's easy for her to scold him.

Hey Anon,

Everything you've mentioned is pretty common in an adult that hasn't ever been treated. I wish I knew which country you lived in, so I could help find you resources because hun, you and your siblings need help.

Make sure you and your siblings follow all the advice I gave to treat someone in an episode. Keep as much physical distance as possible. Too many voices, loud noises, and general discord can trigger. This is not you or your sibling's fault. This has to be your mantra for yourself and them. This is your parents' problem, not yours or your siblings.

I know that you are thinking about how your dad needs to make a living for you and your siblings. That someone has to work. But you need to find away to let him know how bad it is. It's his responsibility to care and protect you and your siblings. That is not your job, despite the level of responsibility that you feel.

If she is at the point of extreme paranoia, then her delusions have her thinking other people are conspiring to hurt her. At the best of times, she thinks you are people that she has to protect from the intruders. This usually results in being moved around and being isolated to stay safe. At the worst of times, she doesn't know it's you and thinks you're the enemy.

Document, document, and document. I don't know of a country where it's legal to withhold food from your kids or hit them. Email your grandparents and let them know that it's getting physical. In most countries, there are grandparent rights. If you can't call, then email. Have friends get in touch with family members for you and local resources. Have friends get you food that you can stash for you and your siblings.

Make an escape plan with friends. This is going to be iffy because your mom can be charismatic and have the police thinking you're kidnapping your siblings. That's where documenting is going to be important, but do not let her find it. She is too paranoid. Hide it on the cloud, one drive, drop box, just something you can access from anywhere.

Be safe and if you ever need to talk. I'm here. 💜💜💜

[theletmeliveproject]

The Positives of Parenthood That I Won't Miss, Part 1: Vicariously Feeding My Inner Child

There is a lot of content out there about the negatives of parenthood and things that put people off of parenthood. I think this gives people outside the community the wrong idea that all of our aversion is circumstantial. In reality for people who are inherently childfree by choice, it's not just about not wanting the negatives but also having no interest in the positives.

This is a series of positive aspects of parenthood that are of no interest to me as an inherently childfree person.

One aspect of parenthood that parents seem to find enjoyable as the ability to live vicariously through their children and doing things that they miss from their own childhood such as buying/playing with toys, watching cartoons and putting effort into celebrating national holidays such as Halloween or Christmas.

Whilst I don't doubt that watching someone go through life stages that you have left behind can bring back nostalgia, I don't personally believe that becoming an adult means having to give up all the colour from life.

As a society we expect that adults will give up everything that has previously made them happy in favour of work and new age-appropriate hobbies. Spending hundreds on a Lego set is seen as a waste whereas at one point in time spending your wages every night at the pub after work instead was seen as a regular adult activity. I believe this mindset comes from the circumstances in which many of our predecessors came into adulthood: war, economic depression, political unrest and poverty, and for many people these issues are still a reality in our modern day. In circumstances like this it's hard to justify "frivolity" or "happiness for happiness' sake". Why would you spend your money collecting merchandise from your favourite film series when your family doesn't have enough to eat? How could you waste hours rewatching old cartoons when you have to work eight or more hours a day to keep your dependents alive? There is also the question as well of evolving taste, the possibility that many adults simply and truly don't enjoy their childhood hobbies anymore, and when someone has been through trauma this too can dramatically shift someone's personality and perception of the world. In a way, many people may find that having children allows them to shamelessly revisit their inner child who was lost and potentially even heal them.

However, as a childfree by choice person who lives in relatively comfortable circumstances, I don't feel I will miss out on this because I am not actively denying myself or my inner child the chance to enjoy things and heal. I watch shows that I enjoy regardless of age rating, I have more disposable income to spend on things that make me happy, regardless of if they have a functional purpose in my life and doing the work to heal my inner child before having children has allowed me to see that having children just to be able to give them everything I never had, is not a healthy reason to be a parent. Nor is doing those things so you can inadvertently give yourself those things too.

Instead of using a child as a means for your own healing and happiness, I think we should all first try and undo this societal conditioning that tells us that being an adult is inherently about seriousness and suffering. It is possible to find a balance between the responsibilities that come with age and fulfilling the mental and emotional needs we have as human beings.

Use the link to check out our Instagram page!!

https://www.instagram.com/theletmeliveproject/

[raisedbythetv89]

Do teen girls especially - but also just kids in general - steal because they lack empathy and it’s a way to rebel or are they never taught what a sense of ownership over something feels like because we’re conditioned at such a young age that our bodies aren’t ours to do what we want with and nothing we “own” is really ours?

Girls are conditioned from such a young age that our bodies only exist for the enjoyment of men and to have children and we have no autonomy over our own bodies (don’t cut your hair short, don’t get too bulky, cover up, don’t be a slut, don’t make other people feel bad even if they hurt you, no you can’t have a hysterectomy you’re too young and you’re not married, men don’t like a lot of tattoos or piercings, you have to be “healthy” aka fit the beauty standards to be valued and taken seriously, men don’t like smart women, men don’t like women who make more money than them, THE LIST GOES ON AND ON) and that we need to be mature and nurturing so we HAVE to share everything with everyone no matter what (toys, treats you bring with you to school, your clothes - dress code literally says you don’t get a say in what you wear and what’s comfortable for you, WE DO and it’s for the sake of boys) you didn’t buy that your parents did so it’s not yours they can take it away from you at any time. As a kid everything that is “ours” is treated as communal property including ourselves. I had a teacher take my cell phone AND READ MY TEXTS in 2009.

Don’t want to hug a relative? Go to that kids birthday party or really anywhere for that matter? Give your bully a valentine? Too bad you HAVE TO and you get no say. Children are treated by society at large as communal property of the patriarchy and everything you have in your possession is a gift and a privilege so why the fuck would kids see anything else as anything other than communal property? Like you want it? TAKE IT that is what everyone else does with you so why would you not model that example set for you? (Thinking of people who get angry with you if you don’t want to share your water, gum, or chapstick if you have it in a shared space it’s OURS.)

It does seem like some parents are thankfully breaking this pattern now and empowering their children’s sense of autonomy - this post is me painting with a large brush as to what it was like being raised in the 90’s and earlier and patterns I’m noticing as I reflect on my childhood and my difficulties with boundaries as an adult and how much work it’s taking to feel ownership over my own body.

I don’t understand how we expect kids to understand ANYTHING about ownership when adults basically ensure they never get to experience that until you get a job and start making your own money basically saying you’re not allowed to own anything in our society until you participate in exploitive capitalism which is basically what is behind colonization of land and resources away from indigenous people so ya know maybe not the best system to keep upholding and raising future generations in.

[forebodingprophet]

Moirai || Clotho C2P2

               “Here’s my proposed solution for the current problem.”  Anastasios’ grandfather took the pages handed to him, raised his glasses, and started to slowly read them over.  Balia’s visit and Hikaze’s sudden addition to the event had made getting to meet with his grandfather over the issue close to impossible.  He’d even had to wake up early the morning of Hikaze’s departure to write out his solution, leaving him running on very little sleep.  His proposal was far from simple, but it would be effective and help those who’d chosen to leave keep most of their autonomy.  It would help eliminate the need for daily check-ins, and Anastasios himself planned to manage the logistics. 

               “You want everyone to move?” his grandfather asked, peering over his glasses.

               “Yes.  I know it’s not ideal, but it will allow those who left the house voluntarily to keep their autonomy.  Of course, anyone who wants to is welcome to move back home.  I’ve already ordered Théo to talk to the others servicing the house about finding rooms.  But for anyone who genuinely refuses to return to the house, this will make it so that they needn’t have to check in with us daily.  House Ofthalmós will finance their move while they work on selling their old place upon which point we can be reimbursed and they can receive any extra money afterwards.

               “And you want to manage all of this?”

               “Yes.  I can handle the aníschyros better than anyone else in the house because I actually treat them like people,” Anastasios hissed.  “Even if one of them won’t listen to me, Théodore or Cosmo will back me up.” 

His grandfather sighed.

“Anastasios, if this is about you trying to prove yourself as the next patriarch, trust me: no one in the house doubts your abilities.  I overhear the aníschyros weekly talking about how they can’t wait for me to step down, but this is a lot to take on.  You know that, right?”

“I do.  This isn’t about proving myself.  This is about finding my missing family and wanting to make sure it’s done in the most efficient manner possible.”

“Why don’t we ask Lady Aria for some assistance?  That might-”

“Absolutely not.  While Lady Aria would surely lend us her full support if asked, we as a house need to become more independent of our gods.  We already cower behind Celia at the mere threat of invasion when we have the power to incite rebellion and topple kings off their thrones.”  Of course, Anastasios would never let the house go that far, but, unbeknownst to Celia, he had Seen through her dilemma, and he agreed that they were too reliant on her for their continued autonomy.  “I’ll prove to you that we don’t need the help of our gods for every threat.”

While Anastasios made his preparations, Hikaze was making his own.  The first thing he figured out that he needed was money.  The current him didn’t even get an allowance.  His parents used to give him a little when they lived in the capital, but, since they’d moved, they’d kept saying that they didn’t have the money for that right now.  And even if they were still giving him allowance, it wouldn’t have been anywhere near enough.  If his parents did indeed plan on using him, they’d never support him going out on his own either.  He hadn’t questioned his allowance being cut off after they moved, but it may not have been to preserve the family finances but to keep him nearby.  He may need to just bolt.  He didn’t really have any issues with it.  He’d leave a note, and he was sure they’d take him back when he showed back up just relieved that he was fine.  He could send them letters too.  The more he worked through it in his head, the more he felt like he could work it out.  After returning from his trip to House Ofthalmós, Hikaze had started spending most of his days running around town asking everyone for odd jobs.  He knew he wasn’t going to be paid like an adult, but he could at least start squirrelling some money away for when he left.  He’d go around with Itsu and they’d bus tables at the inn, run small errands, or help wrangle Pokémon who were going around causing trouble.  At the end of a week, he’d managed to save up a little.  He dangled the pouch of clinking coins in front of his face and frowned.  Although there were plenty of coins in the pouch, they were mostly all iron, bar a small handful of copper that he could count using his hands.  They weren’t going to get him much more than a couple days of food or maybe a night at an inn.  He had to find actual work.  He glanced over at the egg sitting on his bedside.  It was supposed to be Itsu’s sibling, another Charcadet.  They weren’t exactly common, so while Hikaze didn’t like the idea, he could probably get a decent chunk of change selling them.  His eyes wandered back to Itsu who was looking up at him with a cocked head.  Hikaze grimaced.  There was no way.  He definitely couldn’t sell that egg unless things got really bad.  It wouldn’t be fair to Itsu who’s been waiting so patiently to see his little sibling.  Hikaze groaned into his blanket.  Was this how Esaias had felt about money growing up? 

“… I’ll ask Anastasios if there’s anything I can do for his family…”

“I’m going to be gone for a bit.”

“… What?”  Their first meeting in two weeks, and this is the first thing the Ofthalmós heir says to him. Not ‘hello’, not ‘how are things’, just a block statement that leaves no room for argument.

“Are you deaf now, in addition to being stupid?” Anastasios asked with the same casualness someone else might ask for the weather with.

“No, I heard you,” Hikaze replied, brushing off his irritation.  “It’s just sudden.”

“It’s not sudden, at least not for me. I’ve been planning it for two weeks now.”

“Is it because of that thing with your cousin?”

“Yes.  I have a duty as the next patriarch to ensure my family’s safety, so I plan on personally overseeing the plans I’m putting in place.”  Although he was a child still, the eyes that looked back at Hikaze were as stalwart and determined as any adult, just like Esaias’ when he’d draw his line in the sand.  The man was a coward, but even he had things that he refused to compromise on.

“… I see.  So when are you leaving?”

“As soon as I can find a suitable partner to bring with me,” Anastasios replied.  “I can’t rely entirely on Celia- rather, I refuse to.  My grandfather refused to budge on this, so I have to find a Pokemon partner that I can take along for protecttion.  It’ll probably take a week-…  Why are you looking at me like that?”

Hikaze rarely had moments of brilliance, but right now, in his opinion, was one of them.

“Are you going to tame anything specific?”

“I mean, no, but we don’t make a habit of keeping a ton of spare Pokémon around at home outside of the ones we use for agriculture, so I’ll have to take the time to tame something wild, and I’m not allowed to carry them around in one of those.  It’d stand out too much.”

“What would you say if I said I might have a Pokémon for you?”

“And why would I want it?  Isn’t it yours?” Anastasios asked, confused.  “And what do you mean ‘might’?”

“So, I have an egg, but I haven’t been able to get it to hatch for me.  It’s supposed to be Itsu’s sibling, but even though I gave them the same attention, only Itsu hatched, and it’s been that way for years.  I’m not sure what it is, but it’ll never hatch for me, I’ve accepted that.  I’ve been reluctant to part with them because they’re Itsu’s sibling, and they deserve to meet at least once.  If it’s you, then I know you’ll treat them well, and you know you’ll have their loyalty.  Then I can spend the next week helping you train them up.”  Anastasios stared at him dubiously.

“Just what do you get out of this?” Anastasios replied.  “Pokémon eggs aren’t exactly cheap.  I’m honestly dubious as to how a commoner like you came into possession of one, let alone two.”

“Dad said he got them through a work friend,” Hikaze replied.  “But, if you want to compensate me, I’d like if you paid me for the work.”

“Money?”  Anastasios wrinkled his nose.  He was used to Kazuya asking for bizarre favors, not money.

“I need money for my trip.  I’ve been taking on odd jobs, but no one pays a kid adult wages.  Your family has money, you can pay me enough to get off the ground.”  Anastasios stared at him warily for several moments before sighing. 

“I can’t believe I’m saying this…  Arceus, I must be crazy, but I have a better proposition: come with me.”  Anastasios clicked his tongue, irritated with himself, and started tapping his toe.  Hikaze replied with a huge, almost taunting, grin.

“Awwwww, you missed me?”

“No such thing!” Anastasios hissed.  Welllllll…  his face looked angry, but Hikaze was pretty sure he saw a blush on those cheeks.  How very Esaias-like.  The bristly reply didn’t deter him at all.  Hikaze wrapped an arm around his best friend’s shoulders, which earned him a glare that looked fit for a pissed off Meowth, and completely ignored it.

“We’re going to have so much fun!”

“I regret this already…”

[missmentelle]

What makes a codependent relationship? Is it healthy for someone to rely on you as a constant source for support, talking all the time? Getting seperation anxiety and experiencing extreme stress when they are without you? Is it selfish to not necessarily reciprocate that stress?

Let's start by defining what a codependent relationship is.

In a codependent relationship, one person (the codependent) consistently enables the dysfunction of another person, often assuming a "caretaker" or "protector" role. The dysfunctional person usually struggles with a serious issue that may make it difficult for them to function on their own - often addiction, mental illness, or serious underachievement/irresponsibility - and the codependent partner will make extreme personal sacrifices to take care of this person and shield them from the consequences of their actions.

Codependent relationships aren't always romantic relationships - they can be found between friends, parents/children, coworkers, other family members, or any other type of relationship. Wherever they exist, are very unhealthy for both of the people involved in them. The codependent person focuses so heavily on the dependent person's needs that they entirely neglect their own, while the dysfunctional person is enabled to continue being dysfunctional and is often prevented from making any kind of progress toward recovery.

Common traits of codependent people include:

a fear of being alone. They often seek out relationships with people who will depend on them and encourage that dependency to ensure that the other person will not leave them.

extreme fixation on the feelings and needs of others. They often view their own needs as unimportant or secondary and prioritize the needs of others, even when this has not been asked of them.

a compulsive need to "fix" the problems of others. when they see a person who is struggling, they feel the overwhelming need to step in and start "fixing" the situation, even if doing so is not their responsibility.

low self-esteem. They often have chronic issues with self-esteem, and don't feel that they "deserve" to have their own needs prioritized. Their self-esteem is often tied to their ability to maintain their caretaking role at all costs, even when it is incredibly harmful to them.

controlling and perfectionist tendencies. Codependent people often struggle to cope when they don't have high amounts of control in their relationships, or when things aren't done "just so". They gravitate towards caretaking roles where they have high amounts of control, and struggle to let go.

external locus of control. They often feel powerless in their lives, and feel that they simply have to accept their circumstances and the way that others treat them.

high capacity for denial. They often cannot or will not see problems that are right in front of them, and refuse to acknowledge the seriousness of a situation - the house will be burning down around them and they'll refuse to even admit that it's getting a little warm.

a history of interpersonal trauma or abuse. Codependency is often a learned behaviour - many people who fall into these patterns experienced codependency from their parents, or witnessed their parents' codependent relationship at a young age. Many have also experienced extreme emotional abuse, from their parents or a past partner.

a strong need for approval. Codependents need to be liked. They need approval. Doing things for others and letting others walk on them is the best way they know how to gain that.

boundary issues. They often cannot and do not set personal boundaries - they take a "Giving Tree" approach to helping others, endlessly giving even when it seriously hurts them. At the same time, they may overstep boundaries to try to fix others' issues, even when it is not their responsibility to get involved.

a lack of personal identity. The codependent relationship often becomes the focus of their whole life. They invest so much time and energy into it that without it, they wouldn't know what to do with themselves.

a tendency to be drawn to close relationships with substance addicts, alcoholics, people with personality disorders, or other codependents. Codependent relationships are usually not a one-off thing - they tend to be a recurring pattern in a person's life. In particular, people with untreated BPD often seek out relationships with codependent people, as they tend to prefer relationships with people who don't set personal boundaries and are willing to provide the extreme amounts of reassurance and caretaking that they need. People with BPD also tend to be codependent themselves, further complicating things.

an appearance of being "addicted to chaos". Codependent people often appear to gravitate toward drama, dysfunction and chaos. Having relationships with people who have healthy boundaries, autonomy and stable personal lives often holds little interest for them - they prefer relationships where they feel needed and depended upon.

Codependent people often have a "martyr" or "victim" complex - they often feel that it is their lot in life to suffer for others, that self-sacrifice is a key part of their identity, or that suffering is simply a part of loving someone. The idea that they should set expectations in a relationship, leave a relationship where they aren't treated well or have an identity of their own outside a relationship is something they struggle with. They often hop from codependent relationship to codependent relationship, becoming steadily more beaten down and burnt out in the process - breaking free from codependent tendencies can be a long process, and often requires professional help.

There is a lot of variety in what codependent relationships look like. Some examples of codependency in action would include:

A mother allows her chronically unemployed and irresponsible 38-year-old son to live with her, and does everything for him. She never confronts her son about the fact that he doesn't contribute financially or help out around the house, even though it's placing a great financial and personal strain on her. When other family members ask why her adult son isn't taking steps to get his life together, the mother becomes highly defensive, and may make up lies about the progress he's made, or insist that he's still young and that this is normal for his age.

A woman assumes the role of "caregiver" for her unstable and very mentally ill partner. She bends over backwards to keep her partner happy, and doesn't seem to notice or mind that her partner never does the same thing in return. Her partner constantly burns bridges with their own family or friends with their explosive anger, and she rushes in to make excuses and try to fix the situation. When friends raise concerns about the relationship, she brushes them off, insisting that she's happy and everything is fine.

The parent of an autistic teenager infantilizes their autistic child, and insists that the child needs much more care than they actually do. Being an "autism parent" is a huge part of their identity. The child has never been allowed to attend an overnight camp, go for sleepovers or stay at home with a babysitter, as the parent is highly fearful and believes that other people will not look after their child properly. The parent strongly resists all of their child's attempts to gain more independence, insisting that it's too dangerous or that the child cannot handle it.

The US version of the television show Shameless is almost entirely centered around codependent relationships. The main characters are all in codependent relationships with their alcoholic and dysfunctional father, Frank. Although the main characters are often angry with their father, they constantly allow him back into their lives no matter how horribly he treats them - at times, they give him money, provide him with alcohol, let him move back into their house, visit him in the hospital and cover him with a blanket when he passes out on the floor. The boundaries they set with him never last long, and they always resume having a relationship with him, even after he does things that most people would find unforgivable.

So with that said: is it healthy for someone to rely on you as a constant source of support?

It sort of depends.

Relationships are supposed to be a reliable source of support for both of the people in them. That's sort of what they're for. I worry sometimes that the internet is making us too transactional in our relationships, and too quick to think that someone is taking advantage of us if they constantly turn to us for support. It's normal to find comfort in your relationships, and to turn to your loved ones whenever you need someone to talk to. I talk to my partner, my parents and my closest friends every day - that often means mentioning things that we’re stressed or anxious about, or venting about problems in our lives. Sometimes people are going through something and need extra support for a while - that’s just a normal part of close relationships. 

With that said, there are times when someone leans on you too hard. If helping someone is starting to take a serious toll on your own life, that’s a problem. Every relationship needs boundaries; if your boundaries are consistently pushed or broken in the name of supporting that person, it may be time for a serious talk. Staying up until 4am to talk someone through a crisis is fine if this is a rare occurrence. Staying up until 4am to talk someone through a crisis multiple times per week, every single week, is an issue - that’s you sacrificing your own need for sleep, and something needs to change. Are you willing to set boundaries and balance your own needs with your friends’ needs? Is the other person willing to respect boundaries, or do they lash out with anger, guilt-trips, accusations of not caring for them or threats to harm themselves? 

If you and a friend are both willing to communicate and work on establishing boundaries, I think it’s fine for one person to need a lot of support. If the relationship is damaging for you and one or both of you just isn’t able or willing to discuss boundaries, that’s a sign there could be some codependence going on. 

A person experiencing separation anxiety and extreme stress when you aren’t around could be an issue - but again, it depends on how it’s being handled. Is your friend able to cope with this anxiety on their own, or are they constantly putting this anxiety on you? Are they blowing up your phone and getting anxious if you’re 10 minutes late answering a text? Do they ever try to guilt-trip you or blame you for triggering their separation anxiety? Do they accuse you of not caring about them if you try to take time for yourself? Are they jealous of your other relationships? Is their extreme stress taking a toll on your life and preventing you from having other relationships or having personal boundaries and space? If your friend is willing to work on boundaries and find healthy coping mechanisms for their stress, this might be something you can overcome. If your friend is burning you out and one or both of you is unable to set boundaries, this might be a very unhealthy situation. 

Not feeling the same stress and anxiety, however, is definitely not selfish. It’s not healthy for someone to feel that level of extreme stress and separation anxiety - it’s not your friend’s fault that they experience that, but it’s still very unhealthy. The fact that someone feels an unhealthy attachment to you does not mean that you should feel an unhealthy attachment right back. No one benefits from that. In any healthy relationship, both people have a life and identity outside the relationship. This is, fundamentally, the issue at the core of many different unhealthy relationships - whether they are codependent, enmeshed, or abusive.

 Being so attached to someone that you can’t handle them needing friends, hobbies, space and independence isn’t a compliment or something to aspire to - it’s just unhealthy.

Hope this answers your question! MM

[miraculous-trinity-leo]

Whacky Gotham, Goofy New York, and Chaotic Paris.

(part 1) (part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7)

Chapter 1: Genius Little Ladybug

★—–—–†–—–—★

It all started when Sabine Cheng and her parents moved from China to America, where she met a rich boy named Tony, they weren't the best of friends at first, but they would always get into crazy shenanigans because of Tony. Sabine always finding a way to get them out of it. After a while they were practically inseparable, they had each others backs, both in the good times, and the bad.

So when Tony lost both his mother and father in a tragic car accident, and had to take over his parents company, she was there to try and ease the pain. It helped a little, but the boy changed and blocked out many people, only keeping a select few close to him. His personality changed, and he started to act differently, it saddened Sabine, but she knew it was his way of coping with his lose.

She would oftentimes find him crying silently in his office. When Tony opened a branch in Paris France, he was paranoid something would go wrong when he wasn't there, so he had Sabine become a sort of co-CEO for the Paris branch. Over the many years of her being a sibling-in-everything-but-blood to Tony, her intelligence was much higher than everyone in the company, other than said boy.

She moved to Paris not long after, always keeping an eye on both the Paris branch and Tony ( because god knows what would happen if she didn't do so). She even met a baker named Tom Dupain. Eventually dating, and marrying him. Tony wasn't the most eager when he heard of Tom, but he accepted him as family (not because if he didn't Sabine would knock some sense into him). He practically exploded with excitement when he heard we would be an uncle a few years after Sabine's wedding.

Tony was there in the waiting room with Tom, when Sabine was having the child ( Tony denies not having a mini heart attack when the nurse came in). Both men looked at the beautiful child through the glass. Tony was put to tears when he read her name "Maria Dupain-Cheng" and was comforted by a teary Tom.

When Maria was 9 months old, her Uncle Tony came to spend time with her, and talk business with Sabine. None of them expected Maria to crawl her way into their conversation and say "Uncle Tony" in the sweetest most adorable laugh both adults had ever heard. Tony had a massive grin on his face, and gave Maria a big hug and lots of kisses saying " I knew i was your favorite hahaha, and you're only 9 months old. Sabine I think we got a little genius on our hands." Sabine was just as happy and told Tom to hurry and grab the camera.

"Come on say it one more time my dear Maria, show your papa who your favorite adult is" Tony said with a very wide grin.

Maria giggled at her uncle's happiness, clapping her hands. "Uncle Tony, Uncle Tony" Tom just smiled giving his baby girl a kiss and handing Tony 10 Euros.

Tony continued to visit his little genius niece over the years. Maria ended up getting the best education a kid could get, becuase his logic was " If she is a genius (which she is) then she is going to have the best education money can buy, for nothing is to much for my Little Genius Maria!" and with that she could officially be called the smartest kid in all of Paris... heck probably in all of Europe even! So when she gained a passion for fashion at 4, Tony didn't hesitate to get her, her very first (kid friendly) sewing set. By the time Maria was 5 she already knew how to speak and write in French, English, Spanish, Russian, and is learning Mandarin.

Maria had met Chloé when they were both 6, although they weren't really friends, they were polite to each other, which surprised a lot of the other kids their age. She had met Alix a few months later. She spent a lot of the time she wasn't studying with her friends, Alix would get in trouble with another kid on the playground, Chloé would criticise the other kid, and Maria would talk to Alix and then apologize to the other kid. Overall, they had a good dynamic going on, and they (as 7 year olds) promised to always have each others backs to the very end.

When Maria was 3½ months away from her 9th birthday, Tony was kidnapped. Maria just broke down, she wanted to help her Uncle, but she didn't know where he was or how she could help if she did. For three months Maria would only speak to Chloé and Alix (they were kinda shocked to find out she was related to THE Tony Stark). A few days before her birthday, Tony came to their home, with rolls of fabric, flowers, and 'I'm sorry cards'. Maria jumped into his arms crying asking what happened, and "If you're the smartest man on the Earth, why the Heck did it take you so long? How did you get out? Are any of your vital organs hurts? Do you need to go to the Hospital? An-"

"Hey slow down My Little Genius Maria, I'm ok. 1, They didn't really give me much to work with at first, and there is only so much a genius like myself can do with so little resources, and time before your Birthday. 2, I made an anime mecha suit and flew out guns a blazing. 3, Nothing I can't live without. and 4, No because I'm spending the week with you lot before a conference I have in about 10 days." He said while holding his small little genius  in his arms.

Wiping away the tears she looked her Uncle in the eyes "Wait, you 'made an anime mecha suit and flew out guns a blazing?' How does it work? what's its power source? And why do you have a weird glowing device in your chest?!" He had a lot of explaining to do.

That week, in her words was 'The best week of her life.' She was really happy for the first time since the Tony-napping happened, although she was sad he had to go, she knew  he was safe, and that she didn't have to worry (as much) now.

When Maria was 13, both Tony and Sabine decided to have her go to public school with her friends. After hearing this Maria called for a meeting, her two commanders (Alix and Chloé) came for the meeting, and had a talk on how she should go about her first day of public school, asking questions like 'How do non-homeschooled kids act? What are their personalities like? What interests do they have? Are some barbaric like Alix is sometimes? Will they like me? Am I allowed to talk to Chloé in or only out of class? What are the seating arrangements? Who do I sit next to?' the list goes on. They were all excited to finally all be in the same study environment, now all they had to do was wait for their first day.

•~—~—~—~—~—~—~•

The night before her first day Maria may or may not have slept well due to her excitement, she woke up a little later than she ever would have preferred, getting breakfast, her clothes, the 'greeting sweets' (as Alix called them) and heading out in a slight panic.

On her way out she noticed an elderly man with a cain crossing the street, and a car coming a little faster than what was allowed, she pulled the man out of the cars way without losing any of the sweets, after making sure the man was ok, she gave him a sweet before saying good day and heading over to school. She never noticed the man walking away without the use of his cain.

She still got to class on time, when her teacher walked in she greeted everyone in the class "Bonjour, je m'appelle Maria Dupain-Cheng, c'est un plaisir de vous rencontrer! (Hello, my name in Maria Dupain-Cheng, it is a pleasure to meet you!)" after the introductions she sat down in the empty seat next to Alix, both giving a fist bump, and a smile to Chloé, who looked away as if she didn't care (the girl had an image to keep after all). When class was over she handed out the sweets and went with her friends to lunch. During lunch, one of the other students from a different class was mocking one of their classmates that Maria remembered as Ivan, for having a crush on Mylène and not saying how he really feels to her. Ivan ran off into one of the locker rooms, and Maria decided to go and comfort him, she explained that she overheard what happened and that he should try and tell Mylène about his feelings, listing many different things he could do or say, and that he should stay positive.

Ivan thanked Maria afterwards and went off to write a song for Mylène. Ivan later showed Mylène the song he wrote for her, but was teased by other students near them, Ivan ran away not wanting to be embarrassed more.

Back in the classroom Alix and Maria are sitting and talking when everyone hears crashing and screams outside, the class looked out to see a giant rock thing destroying everything  on its way to the school. The teachers sent the kids home in an attempt to keep them safe.

When Maria got home she noticed a small box with writing she didn't recognize, she carefully opened it, instantly releasing a glow of bright red-ish pink light.

"Greetings Maria Dupain-Cheng, I am Tikki, the Ladybug Kwami of creation and good Luck, it is a pleasure to meet you." Maria couldn't believe her eyes "Mon dieu..." was all she could say, before going full interrogation mode "You're a Kwami? What is that? How are you floating like that? How am I able to understand you? Do you have some sort of ability to communicate in any language?How did you fit in this box? w-"

"There is no time, Paris needs you! I can only explain the powers I grant and how to use them, so please listen carefully."

•~—~—~—~—~—~—~•

Soon Maria was running in a red suit with black spots and amor. She ended up facing the 'akuma' as Tikki called it in a stadium, meeting her partner (a blonde furry she decided) for the first time.

"Bonjour m'lady, so what's the plan to take this thing down?"

Without hesitation she explained her plan " The plan is for you to have your Cataclysm ready, I'll give you a signal when it's your-"

"Cataclysm!"  The boy proceeded to use his ONE attack on a GOAL POST!

"I said to wait for a SIGNAL! Now you only have five minutes before you power-off."

"Oops" The blonde was really wasting her more useful braincells. After the boy was thrown out of the stadium, Maria was left to fend for herself, and she did really well, considering this was her first non(but sort of) official villain fight, up until she lost her footing and was knocked into the side of the stadium. The akuma was gone before she could get back, more and more people were turned to stone, but it showed just where Stoneheart was heading.

She arrived at the Eiffel Tower, where blonde was fighting stone people, he just managed to get away and actually listened to the plan this time.

They defeated Stoneheart, Maria gave her speech to the villain, and did a fist bump (though at this point Maria just wanted to get some sleep), when a reporter came to interview them.

"What are your names, and where did you come from?"

"My name's Chat Noir an-"

"Ladybug, and we're hear to protect Paris from Moth-Man, as much as we would love to give you a bit more details, we don't have much time at the moment" right on que their Miraculous' beeped signalling they had 2 minutes left " Stay safe, and positive, Bug-Out. "

•~—~—~—~—~—~—~•

"Well done Maria!"

"Thanks Tikki." and with that Maria went downstairs to get something to eat, when she saw her parents watching the news.

"Earlier today Paris gained a villain and two heroes: Ladybug, and Chat Noir. Many of our viewers submitted pictures and videos, but only one of Ladybug came out clear."

"Thank you Ladybug and Chat Noir for protecting us, bonne journée à Paris."

.................

"Maria you're taking self-defense classes starting tomorrow" Sabine spoke, though Maria didn't have any complaints, plus it'll help when fighting akumas so it's a win win.

"Yes maman."

•~~~~~later in Maria's room~~~~~•

"Ok, so you're basically goddess of creation personified into a cute little Ladybug creature?"

"Kwami, but yes."

"And you've existed since basically the Big Bang?"

"Correct."

"... how are you able to float like that? How are we able to talk without any ancient god language in the way? And what other kinds of um kwamis are there?"

"I float with magic. Yes their is a language only for the Kwami, but we've learned every other language in existence, so there would never be an issue with communication. And to your last question, there are many different kinds of Miraculi all over the world, some even across the universe, so I am unable to list every single one in existence, but there are just as many Miraculi out there as there are starts in the sky."

"Impressive... does that mean I could learn magic?"

"As a human you are limited to what you can do with magic, but you have a strong creation soul. So yes it is possible for you to learn basic magic, I can teach you some life magic to help you heal quicker if you get hurt outside the suit. You can also learn other types of basic magic based on what Miraculous you are most aligned to. Surprisingly you have a close affinity to most of my brothers and sisters that are here in Paris."

"Are they in the hands of other Miraculous users?"

"... aside from Chat Noir, only two: one belongs to the Guardian, and the other to Hawkmoth."

"What are their names?"

"...Wayzz is Kwami of Protection, and is the partner of the Guardian. The other is Nooroo Kwami of Transmission, Hawkmoths Kwami.

"Ok, so then I assume the 'Guardian' is who you were with until now, right?"

"That is correct."

"And how was I chosen exactly?"

"The Guardian chose you because he saw your kindness in action, and sensed your strong Creation Soul, he has only ever been wrong once, but I can tell you will be a great Ladybug, maybe even one of the few who achieved a higher sence of life."

"... I feel like you kind of described a Sage, also how would he have seen an act of kindness, I mean, I got my things, went out helped an older man with a cain, wait."Maria squinted her eyes at Tikki as if looking for something.

"The elderly man's the Guardian isn't he?"

"..."

"I get it, you don't have to tell me, it's all apart of the 'plot' like some show, I get it. Welp, good night Tikki, have to get up early tomorrow."

"Good night Maria." Tikki never messed up so badly before, then again she never had a user with such a strong Creation Soul before either... Maria is something special.

•~—~—~—~—~—~—~•

And Tikki was right, she excelled at Life Magic, learning a fair bit of healing, luck and slight plant manipulation and communication magic. Tikki wasn't sure if she should be proud of her Bug, or scared at her fast learning skills.

A few weeks passed and Maria was thankful for the self-defense classes, she even started doing her own training routine with Tikki guiding her. She didn't like that her partner was a flirt, it got distracting and almost got Chat killed a few times. She often wondered 'what the hell did I do in my past life to get a partner like this?'

•~—~—~—~—~—~—~•

Tony Stark was called by Sabine to meet her earlier than they had planned, she informed him that Paris now has a villain and two heroes.

"Ok, so what's the problem? We agreed to put Maria in self-defense classes so she would be safe... is it a boy?! Don't tell me it's a boy, she's to young to be dating!"

"It's not about a boy."

"Then what is this about?"

"She's Ladybug, *sigh* I swear she gets it from you Tony. She learned it from your dumb@ss, and it didn't help the need to protect people she loves when you got kidnapped. I need you to teach her how to be a good hero, good combat strategist, and to give her your support. She already has a tactical mind, I'm proud in a way that she shares your bravery."

"Ffffffffudge... ok, where is she?"

"Upstairs."

•~—~—~—~—~—~—~•

After a slightly awkward conversation Maria started to get even more training, and became a pretty much badass on the field, she incorporated the known fighting styles of: Black Widow (her favorite hero), Captain America, Deadpool (favorite hero to some degree), Daredevil, Wolverine, and some moves from famous villains like, Kraven The Hunter, Red Skull, Doctor Doom, Scorpion, Shocker, and Taskmaster ( her favorite villain). And she used ALL of those skills in battle, it was damn impressive to watch, and then Sabine had a talk with Tony.

〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜Bonus〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜

"Ok Tony wtf? I asked you to teach her how to fight for protection when she's out there, But you turned her into a complete badass, I mean none of the akumas have lasted more than 10 minutes with her! I want to hug you and kick your @ss at the same time."

" Sorry not sorry Sabine, but she is our Genius Little Ladybug after all."

•—–—–†–—–—•

First fic, wahoo (mario stile), hope you're all having an Absolutely wonderful day, stay safe, and stay positive, BUG-OUT!🐞💮🐞

〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜 Tag List 〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜

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@lupagrimm

[tomtenadia]

Families - part 2

This is the following part to the fic I wrote for the prompt Single parents.

PART 1

It will likely have one or two more parts.

-----

A few months had passed and the season shifted and winter had eventually fallen on Orynth, bringing snow and its usual cold temperatures. The arrival of winter meant as well winter festival and if there was something Orynth excelled at was to celebrate that season and the solstice. The usual winter fair was sprawling in the central area of town, with food vendors, stalls and the major attraction; the ice rink.

The fair was the reason why now Rowan was in his car with his daughter, driving to Aelin’s place to pick up her and Aisling. 

They had kept their promise and the four of them had become quite close. The girls would have sleepovers and Aelin had been more than happy to look after Astrid when Rowan was on a night shift at the hospital. On a handful of occasions, on his day off he had reciprocated and Aisling spent the day with them.

Once the fair had started, Rowan had asked Aelin and her daughter to go out skating. He loved skating, and ice and everything connected with winter. Astrid instead had become obsessed with skating after her dad took her to a hockey game. At eight she was now totally hooked and had also asked to join a club, so Rowan had signed up to a junior ice hockey team and now his daughter was looking forward to show off her skills on the ice.

They arrived at the house not long after and Aelin and Aisling were on the pavement waiting for them.

“Hello stranger,” said Aelin getting in the car seat behind him and with her hand brushed his shoulder. Although nothing official had happened between them he had not missed the sneaky glances, the shy touches that both of them had been exchanging.

“Hi Astrid,” she added brushing the girl’s head “looking forward to show off? Your dad tells me that you are really good on the skates.”

The girl beamed proudly “I have been teaching dad. He is clumsy.”

Rowan chuckled “I am just rusty. I used to play hockey, but I haven’t been much on the ice in a long time, young lady.” He replied saving his dignity. He listened to Aelin engage with his daughter and a part of him was jealous of her easiness. He loved his daughter and did his best to keep her happy, but sometimes he felt like he did not have the same connection that Astrid had with Aelin. He blamed it on him being a man, he just hoped he was not letting her down.

Once all parked up they got off the car and started walking to the ice rink.

“Dad, can we have hot chocolate later?”

“If you behave.” 

Astrid grabbed her own skates from the trunk and hugged her dad “I always do.”

They let the girl walk in front of them and Aelin hooked her arms with Rowan’s as they reached the rink “I have a confession.” She said quietly, searching for his green eyes.

Rowan lifted an eyebrow in a question.

“I don’t know how to skate.”

Rowan chuckled and patted her hand “it’s fine, I’ve got you.”

Aelin’s heart raced at those words. Maybe she was imagining more than what he actually meant but for an instant she felt as if there was a deeper meaning in that statement.

At the ticket booth Rowan paid for all of them and they grabbed their gear. Astrid and Aisling already at the rink side and ready to go.

“Dad, can we go?” Shouted an impatient Astrid.

Rowan exchanged a glance with Aelin and she shrugged.

“Go, but be careful and keep an eye on Aisling. She is not as good a skater as you.”

Astrid grinned and the two girls disappeared on the ice.

In the meantime Aelin had sat down and was donning her ice skates. Rowan crouched down and helped her. Then he sat next to her and donned his pair. Once ready he helped her stand. Gently he fixed her scarf around her neck “it’s cold.” He told her while his finger lingered a bit longer than needed. 

“Let’s go,” he told her while offering her a gloved hand. Aelin took it and together they entered the rink. Aelin felt unstable the second she set foot on the ice and crashed against him. Rowan pulled her closer to him “steady.” He looked at her and huffed a laugh.

“Are you making fun of me?” She asked outraged at his reaction.

“No,” he shook his head and fixed her wooly hat “your hat was askew and it made you look cute.”

“Rowan Whitethorn,” her hand on his chest “are you flirting with me?”

Rowan winked and moved a bit away and left her but Aelin shouted that she needed help, so Rowan came back, grabbed her hands and turned around so that he was skating backwards and pulling her with him.

“Show off.”

“I told you I played hockey.”

“Were you good?”

 He made her pirouette slowly and laughed “I almost went professional but during one game I injured my knee pretty badly and I had to give up.”

“That sucks.”

Rowan shrugged “I went into med school instead. I ended up finding another path I loved.”

She crashed again against his chest and loved the feeling of her cheek against his hard muscles. And his scent. Rowan smelled of pine and snow. She inhaled deeply and a moment later she felt his strong arms around her “You and I should go on a date.” He said quietly while he kept dragging her around the rink. She looked up at him and saw tenderness in his green eyes. She hadn’t imagined it. The feelings, whatever was blossoming between was there had not been her imagination.

“If I survive this ice skating outing, you can take me out.”

“Good,” in that instant their daughters whizzed past them and Aelin laughed “they are having fun.”

“Astrid has been counting the days for this evening. She really likes it when you two are around.”

“She is not the only one…” and she hugged him tighter and Rowan squeezed her shoulders.

“I have a very good babysitter, She has been doing it for years. She can be trusted.” He explained to her “I can’t use my neighbour at night. She is elderly and she only helps me during the day.”

Aelin nodded “if you trust her I am happy, but we will have to pay her double and I want to cover my share.”

Rowan was about to protest but Aelin stopped him with a finger on his lips “No buts. She is looking after my daughter as well, so it’s on me too. Don’t fight me on this.”

Rowan’s hand rose in a yielding motion “you win.”

The evening ended without incidents and they all made it out of the rink alive. They had dinner at one of the vendors, the four of them sitting at the picnic tables in the warm area. Aelin even convinced him to eat a chocolate covered pretzel.

Eventually the evening came to an end with Rowan claiming that it was getting close to bed time for the girls and when they tried to protest Aelin joined him in saying that they had school the following day and promising another evening out not on a school night.

Rowan drove Aelin and Aisling back home and on the door they agreed on a day for their fate and Aelin sealed the deal with a kiss on his cheek.

—

It was the Saturday and Aelin was in front of Rowan’s door with Aisling at her side “Will you promise you will be nice? The young lady is here to look after you and Astrid.” 

Yes, mum.” 

Aelin rang the bell and Rowan opened the door and she gasped. He had worn a pair of jeans, a black shirt and he was now donning his coat. Her heart raced madly in her chest. The man was even more stunning than usual.

“Sorry we are a bit late, there was traffic.”

Rowan shook his head and motioned to come inside.

Astrid came running down the stairs and the two girls disappeared upstairs once again. The two adults had a few words with the babysitter and eventually left.

“Do you think Evangeline will be okay with two of them?”

Rowan laughed “I imparted upon Astrid the need to behave or I will reduce her book money allowance.”

“That is cruel,” commented Aelin who loved the idea that he gave his daughter an allowance to buy books.

“But it works. Since she had started reading she always needs to have a book with her. She loves it. I used the no hockey threat two days ago so I have to change from time to time.”

Aelin joined his hand on the gear “I am glad we are doing this.”

“Me too,” he replied, squeezing her hand back while at the traffic lights “I have been meaning to ask for a while but I never knew if it was just me or you reciprocated as well. Then the ice rink evening I had my answer so I gathered my courage and asked.”

Aelin laughed “I had the same debate. I kept thinking that it was just me.”

They arrived at the restaurant ten minutes later and as he helped her to get out of the car Rowan could not look away from her. Aelin was wearing a lovely blue dress that matched her eyes, her hair was tied up in a lovely French braid. She looked amazing. Once inside the restaurants, they sat, and Aelin could not believe where she was. He had taken her to a very high end restaurant, one she had read about but always thought was far out of her league. She was glad she had dressed nicely.

“How did you pull this off? Even a uni lecturer like me knows that this place has a crazy waiting list.”

Rowan laughed “The wife of one my colleagues, she is the head chef here. I just asked a favour.”

“This place is classy.” Aelin added “I hope that it’s not one of those places where the price is bigger than the portions.”

Rowan chuckled and filled her glass with wine “Definitely not, I promise. The food is really superb.”

They ordered and their food came very quickly and Aelin was impressed by the plates in front of her. The food looked amazing and the portions definitely generous.

She took a few bites then a sip of wine and braced herself for the conversation she wanted to have with him and hoped it did not ruin the atmosphere.

“Rowan, where are we going with this?” She asked, looking at him “We have daughters. Two girls who like each other very much and connect because they both have something in common.” She paused to gather her thoughts “I know it’s just the first date, but our situation is different. I have to think about Aisling. Allowing you in means letting you in her life as well. I can’t do flings, Rowan.” She finished quietly.

Rowan sighed and took a bite of his food, then placed his fork down and took her hand “I had the same speech ready in my head. Our daughters have the priority and I agree, we need to be careful. All I can say is that you are the first woman since my wife died that I ever felt any interest in.” He brought their twinned hands to his mouth “You are incredible and I want this to work out and not just for our daughters. I think we need some happiness.”

Aelin almost burst into tears “I want this too. You have no idea how much. But I am so rusty.”

“Hey,” he reached out with his hand and stroked her cheek “I am rusty too, but there is no rush. One step at a time.”

Aelin nodded and they went back to eating for a moment.

“Do you think we should tell the girls?” Rowan’s question was cautious.

“Let’s have a few more dates than we can just tell them.”

Rowan nodded.

The meal finished, the bill came and now they were walking in the park while snowflakes fell from the sky.

Rowan took her hand in his “it’s snowing.”

Aelin freed it and walked a few step away from him and started circling under the snow, her mouth wide open. Rowan stared at her and laughed at the scene and at the joy emanating from Aelin. And while he stared at her, dancing in the snow he realised that his feelings for her were far deeper that he thought. In the few months they had gotten closer he realised that she made him happy. Aelin made him feel again the array of emotions that he thought he had lost a long time ago. She made him feel alive and in that instant he realised he wanted her in his life. With him and Astrid. The four of them.

He took a step toward her and wrapped his arm around her waist, tugging her closer. She looked up at him and the smile she gave him was pure sunlight. He kissed her. Deeply while his hand brushed her face. She opened for him and Rowan put all his love into the kiss.

“I love you.” He said softly against her lips, not letting her go. Never letting her go. They were each other light out of the pit that their lives had been for almost eight years.

A second chance at being a family.

At a dream broken too early.

“I love you, Rowan.”

[mrwinterr]

So Happy

Pairing: Rockstar!Bucky Barnes AU x Female Reader

Summary: After a night with your favorite artist, you’re left wondering where you both really stand. 

Warnings: Smut 18+ (consensual, but unprotected sex, oral [male & female receiving], vaginal penetration and fingering, size kink and dirty talk). Language. Light mentions of substance abuse. Lying asses. Internet toxicity (I hate it here sometimes). Angst, I guess...TIME SKIP...and absolute horrendous fluff (that’s not my brand, alright).

Disclaimer: You can read part 1 here! It would make some sense. 

A/N: This follow-up is still based on some true events. Can’t hate the players, hate the game. For the most part it’s made up because some of us deserve the ending we think we deserve. I’m dedicating this to @shawnie--jo​ for all the love, enthusiasm and the patience because this took me a while. It’s a doozy! & with that note, enjoy!

“You owe me,” is the first thing you hear your friend say the moment you stepped foot back into the hotel you had booked for the night before. It was in a much different tone than of the one she had in line for the concert.

Frozen in place, you turn your attention to her sitting figure on one of the single couches of the lobby. She wasn’t happy that much you could tell judging by the expression on her face and the way she sat impatiently, one leg over the other and her arms crossed against her chest.

The bag next to hers on the ground adjacent to her feet were your belongings. The way it was misshapen suggested she had hastily shoved your things back in it for you. She must’ve been in a rush to leave before checking out or…

“You owe me $50 for the late check out fee,” she clarifies, ceasing all thoughts of why she was currently pissed at you.

Now begins the walk of shame. It wasn’t something you were used to. Could you even call this that? You had no reason to feel ashamed because you were completely aware of last night’s events. You defended your decision as so! Then why did you feel this way?

Perhaps it had to do with you just now returning to the hotel you were supposed to have been checked out of hours ago, but instead you’re greeted to your more than displeased best friend staring daggers at you for a different reason.

Sheepishly bringing a hand to rub the back of your neck, when you’re close enough to her, you open your mouth to begin apologizing, but she wasn’t done as she got up on her feet to level with you.

“You said you would be back before check out,” she said voice slowly rising in volume, no matter the distance between you two was close or not, you could tell this was just the start of a catalyst, “and it’s...oh,” she stops to look down at her phone, which shined bright revealing her lock screen and more importantly the time, “...only three hours past check out!” Yup, not happy with you at all.  

“I know you’re upset,” you start with the obvious, “and you have the right to be. I said I would be back in time, but I wasn’t,” maybe admitting you were wrong would allow her to see you were indeed aware of your mistakes, soften the blow to come a little bit.

“Upset? I’m disappointed!” she says, her arms falling to her sides and with a look of disbelief but is quickly washed over with indisposition. “Some sell-out rockstar invites you over to see him and you lose your sense of mind?”

“Look, I’ll pay you back. It’s no big deal.” At least on your end, you’re trying to remain calm even when her tone and choice of words get under your skin. You didn’t need this weekend to end on a bad note.

“This isn’t about the money!” She proclaimed.

“Then why are you bitching at me? I’m a grown adult! I know what I did-” Yeah, at least you were trying to stay composed, right?

“Do you?” She challenges. It’s one of those rhetorical questions, in which she didn’t need an answer to, but you were still going to give her one.

“Yes, ok. I slept with Bucky and I don’t regret it.”

The defense you put up so quickly around you weren’t something your friend was used to witnessing...maybe to your parents, yeah, but not at her. Sure, you’ve both had the occasional quarrels, but your relationship and sexual life was different because she really cared for your wellbeing and would be damned if someone hurt you.

“I’m just worried,” she admits for her initial brute front, “what you did was totally unlike you and I…”

“What?” You interrupt her, growing more tired of this conversation by the second.

“I don’t trust Bucky.” She blurts out.

You scoff at that reasoning, “you don’t know him-”

“And you do?” This time she interrupts and catches you off guard on that one. “You’re right. I don’t know him, but you said it yourself. Bucky meets tons of people every day. He’s on the road a lot. It’s easy for him to get lonely.”

There it was again. The self-conscious thoughts questioning everything about last night’s events. In a pathetic display of defense, you start counter-questioning her with some of the statements Bucky said to you. Why would he tell you all those sweet things and pretty promises if he knew he could have you so easily? Why would he think you weren’t like the other women out there who exposed their escapades for their 15 minutes of fame? What made him think anything of you? There were other girls in the crowd.

“He’s going to tell you things he wants you to hear to get what he wants.” She really believed that. She knew what some men were capable of. She had more experience than you and you often turned to her for things like this.

Her last sentence was something to let sink in. The way last night played out and the last few hours you spent with Bucky; you were blinded by a rose tint world.

Earlier that morning...

“You know,” Bucky starts with his gaze first set on your face, slowly starting to drift down your body trying to catch a glimpse of uncovered skin that the blanket was doing a horrible job in concealing. You watch with bubbling desire the way he bit his bottom lip and eyes growing darker, ”...if you ever need anything. I’m here to help. I can get you out of that town and you can stay with me in Brooklyn. We’ll find you a place to work in that’ll appreciate you more.”

He was a dream. He was so sweet, but you weren’t going to deny it. As much as you adored what little you knew about the real Bucky, a part of you that was always so careful was also skeptical. That voice in the back of your mind, whether it was your parents, teachers in the past, PSA spokespersons or your best friend, was still trying to tell you Bucky wasn’t an exception.

Then on the other hand, you were finally getting what you wanted. You weren’t a little girl anymore. You could take care of your own heart. Why couldn’t you have some fun? Indulge a little. Life is too short to sit around and wait. If he was serious about any of the things he said, then great! If not, oh well, you’ll live. What’s life without experience, right?

You just never imagined any of the harmless mentions or replies through social media were going to get you in bed with him and so smitten.

When Bucky pulls his lips away from you, he repositions himself on the bed to lie on his back and bask in the comfortable silence. You’re still on your side, but your eyes suddenly widen as you curiously take a peek over his frame and notice the red numbers of the alarm clock on the bedside table. The curtains were drawn shut, so you had no trace of the actual time of day.

“Shit,” you muttered to yourself, but was no use. It was just you and Bucky in the room and he’d definitely wonder why you’d grown frantic.

“Whoa. What’s the rush?” He says slowly sitting up, still exhausted, and watching you throw the hotel comforter over your body to get out of bed. You didn’t even care that you were naked in front of him. He’d have a souvenir to remember you by.

The sex tape was the least of your worries though. You fucking missed check out! You can only imagine the look on your friend’s face when you reunite.

“I missed check out,” you respond while momentarily being thrown off course in search of your underwear, but then instantly remembering how Bucky tore it off of you, and you did your best to push aside last night’s activities.

“What?” He asks, rubbing his face trying to rid himself of sleep. He had to get going too. The band was off to play in the next city in some hours. Unfortunately, you didn’t have enough time to take off from work to follow him.

“The hotel I’m staying at. I missed check out and my friend is going to be so pissed at me,” you explained beaten. You can’t for the life of you see where your clothes were in the dark room.

Drawing the curtains open or switching the light on without warning wouldn’t be ideal to the both of you and not only that, the effects of the substances your body was coursed through, the physicality of you and Bucky’s actions last night, the consequence of it all topped with the lone fact that you’re now standing naked in front of Bucky starts to seep in.

You try not to stand there awkwardly and do the only thing you can do. Inhibition creeping back in, you cover your face with your hands and breath in and out, hoping the floor would swallow you whole so you could escape this embarrassment and your friend’s pending wrath.

“Look,” Bucky says now in front of you, pulling your hands away from your face, he’s naked too, washing away some traces of vulnerability away, “you’re already late. You can’t change that. We can only keep moving forward,” he says, his arms slipping around your body to pull you close to his.

The sudden jolt from the skin-to-skin contact quickly subsides with the warmth of his body transferring onto yours. You hold onto his biceps and nod in acceptance. Any attempt to rush back to your hotel wasn’t going to do you any favors now.

“So then, what do you say we get cleaned up and try to enjoy our time together?” The way his head tilted to the side, a not-so-subtle hint in the direction of the shower in the bathroom, his smooth voice and his eyes half-lidded, ready to get lost in you one more time.

You said it yourself, life was short, so if you already knew your friend was going to chew you out, why deny yourself of its pleasures right now, especially if it’s coming from Bucky. 

“Can we just get going? We’ll catch traffic on the way back to the city if we just stand here and keep putting each other down,” you ask, slightly shaking your head of the early morning activities and straightening yourself up, bending forward to pick up your bag and sling it over your shoulder.

This little spat would eventually pass. None of the arguments you two had were ever threatening to your friendship with each other. You’ve both fought over things much more critical that it’d be a shame to let it be over someone like Bucky.

Before you could turn back around to exit, your friend grabs a hold of your arm and stops you. “I don’t want to see you get hurt. I could be wrong. Bucky could be the one, but I want you to be smart about doing whatever you end up doing with him. I just want you to ultimately be happy,” she says wholeheartedly.

You knew she was only coming from a good place. She only ever encouraged you to do your best and the right thing. She was the one you sought out advice from and she never led you astray. In the end, you knew you couldn’t ever truly be mad at her. You owed her more than $50 alone.

“Thanks. I’m sorry for snapping at you. I know your intentions are in the right place and I really appreciate you for everything. You even agreed to come to this show with me! But I’m only human and I’m going to make mistakes along the way,” you say and notice the fallen look on her face, but you don’t give her long enough to feel sorry for you with your follow up statement, “...if I get hurt, it’s going to suck, but I’ll get back up, learn from it and move on. Plus, I’ll have you there by my side to tell you I told you so...again, and we both know how much you enjoy that!” You end it on a joking note.  

A look of hope creeps back in on your friend and she’s pleased to see your resilient attitude again. You give her your best steadfast smile and it seemingly proved to be successful enough for her to accept your answer as she pulls you in for a warm hug.

You wonder, what Bucky’s motive was? He was Bucky Barnes. He could have anyone. Why did he trust you enough to be intimate with? What was his game? You just had to keep telling yourself for your sanity and wellbeing, with or without Bucky, in the end you’d still be happy.

The months to follow after that tour, you and Bucky had continued to stay in touch. You genuinely felt happy. He was giving you attention! From daily texts and long phone conversations or video calls, some rather suggestive than most, you were able to really learn a lot about each other. While you minded his glamorous lifestyle, each interaction erased all notions of it and he was just another normal human being.

If you were being truthful, a part of you was hoping whatever the two of you had was exclusive. You didn’t want to admit it, but you were in a way reserving yourself for Bucky because you felt there was something between you two and maybe he was just like you and too shy to be the one to bring it up first.

At times you’d find yourself being the one to initiate conversation...especially when the communication started becoming less frequent. They then reduced to just Holiday texts and suddenly they’d become unresponsive and you’d even be left on read. He never flew you to Brooklyn. He never followed you back on social media. You’d accepted he was most likely busy and the excuse of not wanting to attract unwanted attention to you, but the reality of it was he had seemed to move on.  

It’d been close to a year and things were really quiet. The Avengers hadn’t released anything new nor did they have an upcoming tour to rehearse for. You’re trying to not let Bucky’s silence bug you and do what you’ve always told yourself - keep living your life. You weren’t going to lie to yourself, you were angry at first for letting him get to you like that and realize that boys will be boys. They would never grow a real pair and be straight with women. They always had to go and sugarcoat everything. You had to accept it. Don’t hate the player, hate the game. You were just a one-night stand and the worst part of it was that you consented to it, so you couldn’t hold anything against him.

Things picked back up in your life, work demanded more of your time and you were dating again, taking it very slow and casual. You knew nothing more would come out of it, but it was enough to distract you from Bucky. Life was slowly returning back to normal, even though it never truly could be, until you notice Bucky is posting regularly on his social media accounts again.

It’s not so much that but is one of the comments from another user that is a constant in each sporadic post. You recognize the user as an international model from another country. Curiosity gets the best of you and you decide to check out her profile, noting all the photos of them together and realizing that while you thought Bucky went M.I.A., he was spending his free time getting cozy with her in exotic places.

Her comments start out harmless in the beginning, but quickly become more and more persistent until one sets the record straight. It read, “that’s MY man” followed by a number of heart eye emojis.

You didn’t even know Bucky and the model knew of each other, but why wouldn’t they? He was exposed to extraordinary people, so finding someone in the business was a better bet than settling with you. They lived in a totally different world than yours.

There’s a plethora of thoughts that run through your mind. This is why he isn't responding to you. He had a girlfriend, who was in a much different league than of your own, and he didn’t really go public with it on his end. It made you sad, that much you could admit to yourself because you held back for him, but you weren’t going to admit this feeling to him or your friend or the world. You were going to prove to them you’d do the same thing - move on. 

It’s a rather slow day at work and you’ve resulted in mindlessly scrolling through your Facebook newsfeed, but growing tired of lame memes and life updates from people you haven’t spoken to since high school, you switch over to Twitter for a more different kind of news and also a bit of some entertainment.

You’re not expecting the particular topic to be trending - #BuckyBarnesIsCancelled. You’d manage to move on from whatever it was between you and Bucky and returned back to your daily routine. You tried to remain a fan of The Avengers, but it wasn’t the same. The fling, if you could call it, with Bucky wouldn’t let you. You’d always be grateful for how their music impacted your life, but you’d have to keep living your life despite what transpired.  

Sitting up from your slumped position in your office chair, you ponder for maybe two seconds before clicking on the hashtag. Things were still pretty quiet with The Avengers, with the exception of paparazzi photos here and there, but this seemingly came out of nowhere. What stupid thing did he get himself into?

“No way,” you mock at the headline. Claims of Bucky being mentally abusive, and an addict were being made left and right.

You scrolled through the timeline and threads of replies to find the source of it all and you were shocked that it came from none other than his own girlfriend...well now ex-girlfriend you assumed. The vindictive side of you only allowed a small part in finding some humor in this, but if Bucky was any bit of the Bucky you spent the night with and got to know for those few short months then this was sad for him.

There wasn’t much you could do though. What were you to do? Send him a message of condolences of some sort? He’d probably just leave you on read. Whatever you two had was long over.

Bucky’s agency did well to defend him and save his reputation. They released one statement to clear things up. There’d been images before of him partying and no doubt high on some substance, but that didn’t prove he was an addict. Then again, did you ever really know him? You’d been exposed to that stuff around and because of him. Some people just had more access to certain things than others did.

In some time, when things leveled out once more, he seemed to be back in the clear, but at a rate where people have already decided whose story they believed over the other, whose side they were on, the damage had been done. If there was a recurring theme here, Bucky had one thing to do after the scandal - move on with his life.

It felt a little strange being here again. If you take into consideration some of the things that had already happened, a lot has really changed since you were last in a line to see The Avengers live.

The band had taken a short hiatus to let the fire die out from Bucky’s scandal. It was probably a smart move - to let people cool their jets and forget. It was last reported Bucky had turned a new leaf...something about getting help. Steve took time off to focus on other projects...something about humanitarian work. Sam released some solo stuff...something with a different sound, but still as successful. The time off was probably the best for the guys.

There weren’t as many people it seemed, but enough for them to play in one of the city’s largest venues. You suppose that’s what a span of three years could do to an artist. When the tour was announced you weren’t sure if you should buy a ticket or not, but it’d been some time since you had a night where you could forget about the stresses of the world for a few hours. Never mind the short stint between you and Bucky, you were still a fan of their music and the joyous feeling you got from it was timeless.

This time you were alone. You didn’t even tell your friend they were touring again. Bucky was almost a nonexistent topic for a good while now. Plus, she had her own life to live and couldn’t always be there next to you. You were the bigger fan after all. On top of that, she would’ve most likely have advised against you attending.

Your attire was not to impress, electing on something casual and comfortable with a simple pair of jeans, a leather jacket over a nice top that did a better job at controlling your cleavage than the last one, and cute boots. Yeah, a lot had changed, but the scene didn’t as there were still a mix of fans, old and new, over and under dressed.

The guys still had it. They looked great! They definitely belonged on the stage for the world to see. They even played a 3-song encore. You could tell they loved doing what they did and anyone who was a fan could feel the passion and energy they poured out in the performance.

You’re currently sitting in the seat of your car, head resting against the headrest as you try to unwind a little from standing for a few hours and from the walk back to the parking garage when your phone vibrates and chimes loudly.  

You glance over at the device you placed next to the driving console and your eyebrows scrunch in confusion at the name that appeared. Bucky Barnes. You’d never deleted his number and his text message thread had remained at the very bottom of your messaging app all this time. A sense of apprehension flows through you as you wonder what he could possibly want. How do you just text someone after ghosting them for over a year? Not to mention to someone you did something so intimate with and made all those promises to in the past. How does one do that?

Not wanting to dwell on it any longer or slip into restless thoughts about Bucky again because it wasn’t a walk in the park to forget about him, you open the text. It asks if you were in attendance because he claimed to have seen you in the crowd. This time around you’re not overthinking about what to respond with, you simply say yes. He’d been quick with his next message asking if you were still in the area to meet up.

The wise thing would probably be to reject the invite, but you find yourself once again staring at a hotel door waiting for him to open it. Initially, you’d suggested he tell you what he wanted to say via text, but he said it was something that had to be told in person. So, having been through what you had as a result of meeting up with him in the past, you had some sense of mind this time, you’d just have to make another mental note to not jump into bed with him again. If you were being truthful to yourself, the sex tape left you feeling a little cheap. He didn’t even send it to you as some form of fucked up courtesy or assure you that it wasn’t ever going to get leaked and luckily it hasn’t. You hoped he’d deleted it.

It was almost like Deja vu. You might as well have been reliving the night the first time Bucky invited you over to his hotel room. In the beginning it was kind of awkward and quiet, and it was exactly that years later, just with added history of course.

You’d chosen to sit on the end of one of the beds while Bucky moved slowly around the room trying to gather his thoughts and where to start. He notices the change in you. You were more confident and as you should be. Bucky Barnes couldn’t intimidate you this time. He had more to be embarrassed about than you did now.

Even though you had nowhere to be in the morning, it was getting late and you really would just like to get this meeting over with and Bucky was stalling.

“Bucky, why did you invite me here?” You say, the one to break the ice. He finally stops fidgeting around and focuses on you.

“I...I wanted to apologize,” he starts off, and you’re unmoving silence allows him to continue, “I realize how much of a complete dick I was to you…”

“What do you mean?” You ask. It’s not like he spread any dirty rumors about you or anything. He didn’t need to apologize for anything that you’re aware of. Maybe for leading you on, but you came to terms some time ago that maybe he didn’t owe you an explanation or perhaps you’d never get one. Yet here you both are.

“I used you,” he explains, now you’re confused, and he can see you’re not getting it entirely, which pains him. You didn’t think anything he did with you was wrong because you consented to it. It took two to tango, right?

Except it wasn’t like that at all and he wanted you to know how he strung you along all just for a quick fuck in the beginning and to cover his tracks he acted like he cared in getting to know you afterwards not realizing something purely good could come out of it for him. The confession wasn’t meant to hurt you again, but for you to realize your worth. He messed up with someone so special.

“I wasn’t lying when I said I remembered you from years before when you tripped in front of me,” there’s a small trace of happiness in the fond memory, “...and when I saw you in the crowd that night, fuck you looked so good and you still do…” he ended up a flustered mess after that small admission.

“Where is this going?” You ask hoping he’d get back on track and reveal the rest, trying to keep the fact he admitted an attraction to you in the back of your mind.

“Right...I’ll admit my ego got the best of me. The band was doing so well, everyone noticed us! I was getting attention from all kinds of people! I got hooked to different things,” suppose those articles were true then about him getting clean, you thought to yourself, “...it does get lonely on the road and I was so desperate for anyone,” oh you hoped and prayed he wouldn’t say what he was going to say next, but he does, “...and I knew there wouldn’t be that much effort on my part to get you to sleep with me.”

Great. Your friend was right then, and he was just like any other house name artist.

“Um...okay, that’s not something I was wanting to hear about myself,” you said after letting that sink in. Did you still appear to look easy?

“No, I’m sure it’s not, but when we were alone together everything was just easy-”

“Yeah, I got that. I’m easy!” You interrupt, and now you’re angry. As he’s trying to explain his actions, you started thinking about how mad and hurt you were when he started ghosting you. You couldn’t be upset about him getting a girlfriend, but the fact that he didn’t think he could continue even being your friend and instead just chose to ignore you was the better option was hella annoying.

“That’s not what I meant!” He says trying to justify his choice of words.

“Then how did you mean it?” You demand, and Bucky is a bit stunned with your new attitude. He foresaw that he would have a difficult time in explaining himself, but he didn’t think it’d be this hard dealing with how much his actions affected you.

“Everything was easy with you because you made it easy to feel,”

“I don’t know if I understand,” you say and attempt to get up, “...maybe this was a bad idea.”

“No, please. Let me finish,” Bucky is quick to get in front of you as he pleads for you to stay. You give him a slight nod and sit back down.

“Things with you were easy in a sense that being around you I was able to just be myself. I’ve never said those things to girls before you! I didn’t have to impress you with anything flashy. I even forgot I was some rockstar! You’re an incredible person, really-”

“I’m sorry, Bucky, but I just can’t,” you say, hating to interrupt him again, but you’re not ready to hear any of this, “...none of this still doesn’t sound right. It was just one night and then how do you explain just ghosting me the moment you get a supermodel girlfriend?” that last part came out unintentionally feisty but might as well let him know how you’d felt, “You couldn’t even be my friend when you were with her! I guess it was easy to just forget me too…”

Bucky lowers his head ashamed of how he handled that and just nods in acknowledgement of his actions, “you’re right. It doesn’t make sense, but what I feel is even harder to explain...”

“None of this accounts for her,” you demand. A part of you just wanted to know where she came from. How did it happen? Who asked who out? It wasn’t important information to know about, but the urge of human curiosity was large.

“She wasn’t even my idea,” he muttered, not really wanting to talk about her.

“What?” You ask.

“Getting with her was the label’s idea,” he admits, hating he was coerced into the idea of an on-screen relationship.

You scoff at the stupidity of fake relationships in the Entertainment industry. Why did people get their rocks off over it? Were OTPs really that a big deal? Are people so bored with their own lives that they have to push corporate into bringing two people who don't have feelings for each other together? However, Bucky thinks you don’t believe him and given how little you developed in trusting him with things, he’s not entirely wrong.

“I know it was a dumb thing to agree to and it’s one of the horrors working in this business, but I know now I should’ve just been forward with you,” Bucky says, voice still riddled begging for forgiveness.

“Why couldn’t you then?” You interrogate and notice the creases of distress on his face soften. “If I made it so easy to feel, then why wasn’t it just that to tell me the truth?”

“I-I don’t know,” he replies.

“Yes, you do,” you retort, and pretend you’re going to leave, but by doing so you know it’ll only get him to spill the beans quicker.

“I was scared!” He admits, stepping in front of you and keeping you still in your place on the end of the bed.

“Scared? Of what? Me?” You ask incredulously looking up at him.

“Yes!” He says and kneels down in front of you. “You’re so perfect! You’re real! You don’t treat me like I’m some celebrity. You didn’t even participate when people started cancelling me or whatever! You could’ve and you had every right to expose me, but you didn’t!” Your act did the trick, because the words just kept coming out of Bucky.

“I’m so sorry for ignoring you, for not telling you I was with her, but the more I got to know you, a part of me got really scared that I couldn’t keep being the kind of man you deserved because of my problems,” by this point, Bucky has placed both his hands on either side of you, his arms trapping you, “...trust me, I had a lot of time to think about everything I did wrong and what harm my reckless lifestyle has on others…I just feared it was already too late, but the one thing that I always thought about that helped me get through it was the lone night I had with you. I was so happy! I wanted that again...I had to get back to that, so I invited you back to try,” you didn’t even realize how close his face was to yours. He looked so torn and you hated seeing him like that, but there was nothing you could say that could fix things right now.

Bucky now felt vulnerable and almost pathetic. Just because he wanted another shot of happiness, and with you of all people, what made it okay for him to think you wanted to try again? You weren’t so certain of what you wanted with him anymore.

“Wow,” is all you give. You’re not sure what more you could add. After all that, he actually liked you? Were you still sure you weren’t living in some fanfic world? You needed some time to think about that and much to Bucky’s expectations, you weren’t going to come to a conclusion before you left this room tonight.

“Is there anything else you want to say?” You offer him the floor, and he gets it. You’re not going to say anything particular to his confession, at least not now. He’s not upset at all. It was a lot to take in. He had time to think, and he had to respect the time you’d need now.

He nods and backs away, realizing the close proximity, “just one question,” you nod this time and let him ask, “do you regret it?”

You know what he’s referring to, sleeping with him, the sex tape, the countless conversations, meeting with him right now - everything.

“No,” you answer honestly.

He lets out a weak smile, looking down sheepishly and adds, “I’ve never done anything like this with anyone before, I promise.”

He could promise and swear up and down all he’d like, but how could you be really sure? The only response you could give him is a small, neutral hum in acknowledgement.

Bucky knew this conversation wasn’t going to go as he had hoped. He really didn’t have a plan, he just really wanted to see you again. He goes silent and you know at this point, everything was all laid out. Time would tell the rest if this was worth saving.

“I can forgive you. I know I can because in a way part of moving on allows one to do so but completing a session or doing time in rehab doesn’t really prove anything,” you said brutally honest with him, he looks up at you almost defeated and just waiting for the final blow.

“You said a lot of promising things back then and you said a lot more tonight,” you add on, and gently begin to remove his hands from the spots either side of you to let you free, and get up to head out, however not with one more thing he could reflect on, also giving him hope, “...you need to show you’ve really changed,” then the conversation was over.

In some ways, these events needed to happen. He had to hit rock bottom to learn from his mistakes and kick out the bad habit. He knew now that he had to work hard to give you a reason to trust him and maybe even in the long run be with him.

On the other hand, you had to go through this whole thing in order to not base your happiness on someone else. You could be happy on your own and open enough to be with someone that wasn’t Bucky. 

For the next few months, to your surprise, Bucky had actually made an effort to keep in touch with you. It wasn’t overbearing and he minded your space as well as he could from a distance, given that he was still busy with the band and other duties that came with his status.

While at times he could be flirty, you learned it was part of his charm. Your friend wasn’t entirely thrilled when you’d admitted to her that you visited Bucky that night. You might’ve not shown it, but she knew how much his past actions affected you. Granted it did its job in teaching you a lesson and in return allowed you to be more confident and to not take anyone’s bullshit, she’d be damned if Bucky tried to pull another act like that around you again.

By now, you were comfortable enough with him to even tell him about random dates you’d gone on; none proving to be long-term, but it was nice to confide in someone else other than your best friend and get an opinion from a male perspective.

You weren’t going to lie, there was a part of you that still liked Bucky more than a friend, but you weren’t sure when it was okay to willingly go all in again with him. Sure, you’d given him another chance, but just how low could people really go to get what they wanted? Some people could just be really manipulative, and you weren’t wanting to ruin what you’ve both rebuilt for yourselves. Either way, you’d be happy with him in your life even as a friend, which is how it could’ve gone if he’d been honest from the get-go.

The year was coming to a close and you’re at your job’s annual Christmas party. You’d managed to convince your friend to be your plus one, but she claimed she didn’t need bribery because your company always ordered outstanding catering and who in their right mind would turn down free food anyways?

Aside from pretending you were having a great time talking to your co-workers, most of which whom you barely spoke to at the office and as faux-friendly as they were tonight, you felt stupid for glancing at your phone every now and then hoping to get a message from Bucky. He’d been keeping you entertained the first half of the party until he just stopped responding.

Your friend had ditched you to take advantage of the open bar several minutes ago, so you were sitting at a table alone trying not to look pathetic. You started thinking of when an appropriate time would be to leave when the Market Manager of your job took the mic. Too late, you thought to yourself and decided to get comfortable in your seat and listened to what cheesy Holiday speech they had to give, but what you hadn’t expected was a surprise guest.  

“What the hell?” You said to yourself as you watched Bucky, Steve and Sam shake hands with one of your bosses before settling into what would appear as an acoustic performance.

How’d they manage to get in contact with your job? Who gave them the in? Bucky knew what you did for a living, but you never stayed on that subject long enough to think much about it. Then your friend slides into the empty seat next to you, a drink in one hand and a knowingly smirk on her lips, one that suggests she was definitely in on this act. You didn’t realize how long you’d been staring at her with a stupid look of disbelief all over your face until your name is echoed throughout the speakers.

It snaps you out of your trance and you focus your attention to Bucky on stage, a huge smile on his face. All formalities set aside, he highlights you and your friendship before jumping into their new single, which was widely popular right now. Normally, you weren’t one to take compliments easily, not used to so much attention, but the whole world disappeared with Bucky.

Once their little set was over, the majority of your colleagues enjoyed the performance and asked for photos, to which the guys were more than happy to appease to. Your friend had managed to escape your clutches once more, this time abandoning you for the dessert table. You’re not alone for long as Bucky occupies the seat left open next to you. You look around your surroundings, hoping there aren’t any more surprises in store, and practically attack him with a big hug.

Bucky’s chuckle is muffled, his face buried in your hair, as he wraps his arms around you to return the gesture. When you pull away, you’re almost left speechless, but you’re dying to know how he managed to get here. He was technically still on tour and this was not one of the passing by cities.

“How?” You ask.

“Hi to you too,” he said with a cheeky grin, to which you playfully slap his arm, and he responds with your friend’s name. He explained how he’d wanted to see you and how much he had to grovel for your friend to trust him. She’d helped him arrange a meeting with your boss, who turned out to be a huge fan of The Avengers, and even sneak them inside the building all under your nose. She wasn’t easy to persuade, but if she was convinced enough to work with Bucky on anything then you knew this meant something more.  

The initial notion of wanting to leave the party immediately vanished and you wanted nothing more than to just sit there in Bucky’s company all night. Steve and Sam greeted you and you never realized that this was actually the first time meeting them formally and not outside of a venue. They weren’t rockstars to you any more than you were just a fan to them. They were Bucky’s friends, of course he’d confined to them on his end as much as you did with yours.

At some point they had excused themselves to catch the last flight headed back to Brooklyn, but Bucky had decided to stay longer. When it was time to leave, you found out Bucky hadn’t planned long enough to where he would stay the night in your city. The original plan was to fly back home with the guys and pick up on the remainder of the tour. They had a few days off, but it was just a few days shy of ending, and he couldn’t wait that long to see you.

It’s funny how life works because this time you’re the one inviting him to your place. You weren’t going to blame it on the open bar or how late it was or the underlying tension that was surrounding you two, but one thing was certain, it was mutual, and you both weren’t going to deny the attraction any longer.

You’d missed the weight of Bucky’s body on yours more than you’d realized as your hands held his face, keeping his lips attached to yours. You could taste the remnants of the unfinished drink he’d abandoned at the coffee table on his tongue. Bucky’s hands hiked your leg over his waist to get you to lie flat on your couch.

You’re the first to attempt to remove clothing by popping open the buttons of his button-up shirt before completely ridding of the item leaving him in his thin undershirt. You feel his hands slide up from your hips along your back as they dig into the minimal space the arch of your back had created for him to slowly unzip the back of your dress. With your lips both still attached, you manage to sit up, your dress falling down and bunching at the waist in the process, exposing your breasts. He couldn’t have picked a more perfect time to see you in an outfit that would not work with a bra.

Bucky curses breathlessly when he pulls his lips away from yours for a quick breather, but in the process, he takes a peek at your half naked body. You can tell he’s just itching to touch you and you take the commanding lead and place his hands on you. The atmosphere grows thicker, him kneading your breasts, you smash your lips on his in a sloppy lock.

You push Bucky down on his end of the couch and manage to kick your loose dress all the way down your legs and off your body. Bucky’s hands travel down to the curve of your ass before he grabs a handful of flesh, causing you to moan into the kiss. Your hands rake through his styled hair, the product he used unstiffening and his hair falls limp in your grasps.

Bucky’s hands started to aid your hips in moving roughly against his clothed member, desperate to relieve some friction, and you internally blushed remembering how thick he was, how full it felt to have his cock stuffed inside of you. You didn’t remain celibate during the hiatus of your relationship, you both had urges, but Bucky had really ruined others that came after him.

Your lips drifted down Bucky’s body, kissing at the skin of his chest in the pattern following the swoop-line seam of the undershirt that he was still wearing. You skipped the expanse of his toned stomach, until you’re met with the small amount of skin that peeked between his bottoms and hem of his undershirt. You slightly lift the material up and place small pecks at his lower abdomen, which causes a low groan to rumble in Bucky’s throat.

Your fingers deftly unbuckle his belt and unbutton his pants, with the zipper pulled apart, you’re marveling at the imprint of his hard cock, already twitching and staining his boxers. You manage to break your gaze and look up at Bucky, who is desperately pleading with you to proceed. Your eyes never leave his as you lower your head closer to his member, tongue darting out to the dark spot of his boxers, tasting the precum.

The contact causes him to squirm and lips form in a tight line. You pull down his pants and agonizingly peel off his boxers slowly, dragging it down to his thighs, just enough to expose him enough for you to work with before you wrap a hand around his length. Bucky’s upper body is supported by his bent elbows so he could watch you.

You kiss the tip of his leaking cock, a small string of his precum sticking to your lips when you pull back, to which you run your tongue over. Bucky’s head falls back just in time when your lips enclose the head, tongue twirling around the ridge and teasingly at the slit and loving the sound of his breath getting caught in his throat. You inch your mouth down his length and your vacant hand gets quick to work on what you’re not able to intake while the other runs up his exposed abdomen, your fingers curling in and lightly scratching down as it runs down to massage one of his thighs. You can feel the muscle in his thigh flex at your touch the more your head bobs up and down on him.  

A plethora of curses spew from his mouth, but the rush of sucking his cock, the gurgling of your spit mixed with his precum and occasional choking noise when your throat contracts around him, is all you can hear from your perspective. When you part from his member, you’re breathing intensifies, desperate for more air to enter your system, eyes slightly watering, lips swollen, your hand lazily slathering the wetness all over him.

“You’re so good at that,” Bucky comments and he finally manages to pick his head back up to look at you. He reaches forward to swipe at the mess on the corner of your chin, but you’re hungry for more, and you move your head to the side to suck on his thumb, eyes closed as you hum at the taste of his skin and essence.

Your soft tongue running against the pad of his somewhat calloused thumb, it pops lightly when you release the digit, a small, devious smile on your lips as you scoot away to lie on the other end of the couch. He’s almost at aghast by this, but even back then you were just always full of surprises around him and he wasn’t going to deny the appeal of your sexual allure.

Bucky is quick to get to your side, completely riding himself off the rest of his clothes - the undershirt, pants and boxers - he had dressed to impress but right now nothing more than but overdressed. He gently parts your legs, kissing up your calves and thighs, until settles between them, you can feel his warm breath fanning against your scantily covered core.

Unlike last time, you’re not afraid to watch him and he sends you a knowingly wink, quickly ascending up to give you a sweet kiss, while his fingers slip inside your panties and between your lips. Your hips eagerly thrust upwards hoping his fingers slip in.

“Baby, we got all night,” he says cradling your face in his other hand. You let out a small whine, but regardless attempt to be patient. Bucky studies your face, mesmerized by every structure and unique feature, then what felt like an eternity, but in reality, was only a few seconds, he sinks a finger inside your wet pussy.

As soon as the gasp leaves your lips, his lips swoop in and tongue instantly dipping in search of yours. The heated kiss only heightens the sensation in the pit of your stomach, your hips losing control and every buck up into his hand, your clit rubs up against his palm, invigorating it. The curl of his finger, lightly probs at the right spot inside you, you uncontrollably squeal against his lips, with a hand against his chest you gently push his body away from yours.

“Oh my God! Fuck, Bucky…” you say with your head tilting back to the curve of the couch’s arm. You feel Bucky’s lips kiss and suck at your exposed neck as his fingers continue their handy work, the lewd noises causing your eyes to roll back.

His lips find their way next to your ear, gently nipping at it, and you could just drown at the sound of his husky breathing and filthy words. “Can I taste you?” He asks. You’re not sure why he was asking, you’d want nothing less. You nod almost instantaneously before allowing him to remove your panties.  

Bucky’s hungry eyes remain fixated on your glistening core, “oh, I missed this pussy,” he comments before his tongue fondles the lips. He has a hand lying flat against one of your legs, pressed on the couch to keep them spread apart, the other blocked by his body. His routine contrasts his old with how his tongue moves in slow and calculated laps. His mouth was very talented, given whatever style he chose to play.

You’re tethering on an orgasm and Bucky wanted nothing more than to watch you come undone for him. Bucky’s fingers and tongue work in tandem and fast to help you reach a climax.

“You’re close, aren’t you?” Bucky manages to ask in between, eyes peering up at you. You don’t actually answer because you can’t concentrate from the pleasure he’s bestowing and the impending release. “Good. I want you to cum. I want all this pussy has to give,” his voice hitting a different low, even his fucking voice was so sexy. Your hands clutch on fistfuls of the couch cushions when you feel the first wave of pleasure wash over your body, your hips stilled in place as Bucky laps up at your arousal.

“The sweetest thing ever,” Bucky mutters mostly to himself, but hearing that comment only feeds your ego, which never is a bad thing in an intimate setting. Your chest heaves up and down from the impact. Just as Bucky is about to crawl back up to parallel, you stop him with a foot at his chest. He grabs your small foot in his hand and blinks at your resistance.

“Sit back,” you command. He drops your foot and watches as your body maneuvers around to climb over his. He didn’t even realize his body had complied to your demand, absolutely hypnotized by you.

You lean in for a deep kiss, one that leaves his brain a mush, yours too almost that you have to steady yourself with one hand on the couch armrest. You reach a hand down between your bodies and grab a hold of his hard cock. Your fingers tracing along the vein before you start rubbing his head through your sensitive, wet folds. Bucky’s hands lay lightly on your hips, trying with all his might to not force you to take him all the way in. A large part of him liked this dominant side of you. There was so much about you he was dying to unearth.

“Baby, please…” he begins pleading as you barely press the tip of his cock just at your entrance before you slowly lower your body down to engulf his entire length. You sit still once you’re sure you’ve bottomed out, not noticing Bucky’s fingers digging into your hips, sure enough to leave crescent marks and tiny bruises.

Bucky’s face is buried in your neck, your cheek pressed against the top of his head, lost in the mop of dark hair. You feel his cock twitch inside of you causing your hips to ground on his. He was in so deep, you weren’t sure how long you were going to last in this position, but you’d be damned if you denied it.

You start with slow swivels before sliding back and forth on his cock. Bucky’s hands released their death grip from your hips, one travelled to the front to grope at your breasts while the other supported your body settling itself on the small of your back. Your hands set themselves on the back of the couch on either side of his head, using it as leverage to ground down harder on him.

“Mm, I missed fucking this big cock,” you lean down to whisper right in his ear, “you’re so deep, Bucky.”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he spits out curse after curse at your dirty words. “You gonna cum on this big cock, hmm?” He asks. The question comes as a challenge and you weren’t ready to give up the ropes to him.

“Yeah, is this big cock gonna cum inside this tight pussy?” You counter the question, speeding up your gyrations until you start to feel the burn in your thighs and stomach begin to twist. He lets out a low, long growl, his eyes lulling shut and head falling back against the couch, ready to succumb to euphoria.

“No,” you say, suddenly ceasing all movements to pull at his hair. The sharp pain in his scalp causes his eyes to snap open and look up at you. “Keep your eyes on me,” you command much like how he did with you the first time. You watch him swallow the knot in his throat and give him a wicked smile before picking back up where you left off.

Your hands are sprawled on his sweaty chest as you bounce up and down his length. Bucky’s senses are on overdrive, the way your pussy naturally hugs his cock, walls squeezing occasionally, your breasts swaying right in front of him, your skin shining from the layer of sweat coating your body, and the look of immense pleasure written all over your face because of him.

“Baby, I’m gonna cum,” he says over and over as some form of warning, hoping you’re not far behind.

The way his face contorted in ecstasy, lips parted, sweat building up on his forehead, the tip of his cock stabbing at your sweet spot, you were about to cum too. His words become a muffled mess when you attempt to silence him with a bruising kiss just as you reach your high, pussy clenching tight around his cock milking him of everything he’s got. Each spurt of his hot cum that shoots inside you causes your hips to stutter in response. Bucky attempts to keep them at bay with a hand pressed against your back, keeping your body close to him and in the process also instilling his seed is rooted deep inside of you.

“God...damn,” Bucky says short of breath when your body lies limp against his. Your arms are wrapped around his neck, you haven’t attempted to move just yet as you both sat there with his cock still buried in. When you manage to sit up, you stare back at Bucky with tired eyes, but there’s a smile on both your faces. It only slightly falters at his next words.

“I love you,” he says earnestly. Thankfully your silence doesn’t bother him, “...you don’t have to say it back,” he adds, “I just wanted you to know. You’re so special,” he proclaims and your heart leaps at the very admission. You only nod for now but give him another reassuring smile because in time you knew you could allow yourself to love Bucky and be loved by him in return. It wasn’t a conventional meeting, but this was your life, not everyone else's.

When you finally manage to pull yourself off his cock, it slips out fluidly with a trail of his cum following in suit. You knew you’d curse yourself later on, but you’re both too tired to clean the mess right now. The pair of you settle into a lying position, facing one another, encased in each other’s arms. It’s a moment of bliss as you both just lie there, his eyes closed and a smile seemingly permanently etched on his face, only around you.  

“Hey Bucky,” you pipe up breaking the silence. He hums in response, “I want to know something...” you start out with.

“Anything,” he says, eyes still closed, his hand running up and down your arm, an indicator that he’s present and listening.

“What happened between you two?” Curiosity getting the best of you once more, you’re hoping this doesn’t ruin the moment, but you had to know. What went wrong? Besides, if this was going to work, he was going to have to be honest.

“Uh, she saw something on my phone…” he said cautiously, “...that involved you.” Your eyes widen at that. It couldn’t have been the sex tape you hoped.

“Bucky, no!” You gasp, sitting up and just hoping he doesn’t confirm it.

“Relax!” He says pulling you back down with him, “She was psycho. She went through my texts and saw some of the photos we used to send to each other. She must’ve thought they were recent.” He explains like it was no big deal.

Your heart stops racing slightly, you’re a bit relieved that she didn’t go as far as posting any of the photos on the Internet. You knew you were risking it by sexting with Bucky, but what was that saying? Hell hath no fury…and in a blind rage, she lashed out only on Bucky, but if she was a psycho, who knows what else she might’ve found on Bucky’s phone.

“Bucky?” you figure you might as well know now.

“Yeah…”

“What did you do with that sex tape?” You’d been dying to know if it was safely stored away or if maybe he even still watched it or just deleted it.

A big toothy grin spreads across his lips, his pearly whites on full display as he laughs at the question before he reaches over to the table next to the couch, where his cell phone rested on.

“Want to make a sequel?” He asks suggestively with a smirk on his lips and waving his phone at you, to which you playfully attempt to snatch from his grasp. He’s too quick, but nonetheless he replaces the phone in its original spot before focusing his attention on you alone.

“You don’t think this is all weird?” He questions almost hesitantly while tracing the outline of your jaw delicately. You’re not thinking that at all. You’d both been through a lot during the last few years that the only thing that was normal now was what you both had.

You shake your head in response, too tired for words, and drowning in the blissful moment. Bucky nods before declaring, “good because you make so happy,” then ending the night with sweet kisses. 

“Hey, it’s me. I know you’re busy at the studio today...” you start, cell phone pressed against your ear. You’re attempting to leave a voicemail to your boyfriend, who was expecting your arrival later that day, “...but I just wanted to assure you that this isn’t weird, and I can’t wait to see you...I love you, Bucky,” you finish up the message and stuff the device into your bag just in time to hear the voice of the airline staff making the pre-boarding announcements booming loudly from the speakers.  

Now boarding Group B for flight #107 to JFK Airport...final destination Brooklyn, New York.

A/N: We’ve been in quarantine for so long, I don’t remember how airport announcements are like anymore and I was only in Brooklyn last Spring…RIP to the good times.

A happy ending was weird to write in the end and I actually don’t like this particular Bucky so it could’ve gone really bad, but I said to myself, no, not this time, I can do what the title says and let them be just that - happy. I too can be happy if you give this a like, reblog or comment! Thanks for reading!  

[kisskeiji]

6. Love me right.

Lost & Found.

WARNINGS: language, mentions of self doubt and spiraling 

The closer the Volleyball Association awards ceremony was, the busier your schedule was, with the end of the season and the team winning their final match your phone wouldn’t stop ringing with reporters from sports magazines and channels trying to get a word from the athletes, the team went on for at least three weeks without a break; everyone was way too exhausted to bear with another interview. You had to travel around the country for away games every other week and the moment you came back home after the season finale you had to jump back into ‘babysitter duty’ supervising the press conferences, television appearances and exclusive interviews. You tried to relieve the soreness of your neck by rubbing it as you walked to the meeting room where everyone including the team waited for you. 

“Please no more interviews, Y/N, we are begging.” Inunaki said as soon as you entered the room. Everyone looked at you with pleading eyes — everyone except Bokuto who was busy stuffing himself with cookies—, you sighed and took your seat next to Imai.

“We are done with your schedule, don’t worry about that.” You said and turned to greet your team, taking the coffee one of your assistants got you and taking a big sip almost forgetting the drink was hot, your face contorted in pain but you tried your best to hide it, you were wide awake now, not from the coffee but from your burnt tongue. 

“Let’s make this quick guys, I think we all want to go home.” Hideko got up from her seat and buttoned her coat. “Season’s over, congratulations on your win, the sponsors and everyone’s pockets are extremely happy.” Everyone laughed at her comment as she kept talking. “I think the promotion period was even more exhausting than the matches for you guys, and we are thankful to all of you because surprisingly no one messed things up, so our headlines are clear.” You nodded along her speech while you reviewed your notes. Hideko thanked the staff and also talked about what was about to come with the new year approaching. “We are holding to our usual holiday agenda, the training grounds and the gym are open if you want to train by yourself but I don’t think coach Foster wants to see your faces for at least a month.” 

“She’s right, please stay away from me.” Coach Foster said massaging the bridge of his nose and the team smiled, they all knew the man cared deeply for them and their well being. Bokuto, who was sitting beside him, gave him a side hug that made him grasp for whatever surface was in front of him. 

“Bokuto, stop tormenting the poor man.” Hideko glared at him. “As you might know, the big night it’s on New Year's eve. Some of the staff is required such as Y/N and her team, me, of course.” She rolled her eyes with her hand on her chest, stating his presence as a given. “And our athletic trainers, so don’t make plans this year. The rest of the staff is invited too but have the option not to go and spend the holiday with their families like normal people.” She sighed, not precisely delighted with the idea of spending new year technically working. 

“I can take care of things if any of you want to go home.” You said to your three assistants and they nodded. 

“Players are allowed to bring a plus one, blah blah blah, you know the drill. Please, you are grown adults and it’s the time of the year you can drink, don’t do something stupid that can end in more work for us.” She took her coffee cup from the table. “Any questions?” She asked before drinking from it, having the same reaction you had earlier to the hot beverage. “That’s really hot, shit.” She cussed.

“Do we have to wear a suit and tie?” Bokuto asked. 

“Yes, Bokuto, it’s a gala.”

“But I don’t know how to tie a tie.” He said, looking at Hideko with sad eyes. 

“Wear a bow one.” She answered without enthusiasm. “Y/N take the lead, I have another meeting with scary people with money.” She really meant the sponsors and the team owners, for someone as fierce and imposing to be intimidated by them meant they were business and one she had to tiptoe around to keep them happy, after meeting them at the team party you understood why she avoided them like the plague. 

“I just have some things to run with you guys and then we can go home, I’m not taking too long.”  You stood up when Hideko left. “No more interviews, your schedule is closed for the rest of the month and I will start booking once we announce the team tryouts on mid January. Like always, I'm not responsible for paparazzi’s but if you get spotted you already know what to do.” Taking a deep breath you continued as you reviewed your notebook. “Regarding the awards, if you win something the interviews are not in my hands, so expect casual interviews the day after. We will be monitoring during the holidays too, so you can call me if something happens.” You looked up to everyone listening to you attentively. 

It felt good, being respected felt good. You were more than thankful for the opportunities you had and for taking the position, specially with the Black Jackals, it was a family in every aspect and you felt welcomed since day one and being recognized for all your work the past six months was enough for you to walk with your head up high again proud of your work and your team. “And lastly, I would like to thank all of you for working so well this season and putting up with the hell sent schedule we had the past month. I think we all did a great job.” You offered a bright smile to everyone in the room. 

“Are you kidding? You saved our asses this season, Y/N! We should be thanking you.” Inunaki said and everyone agreed. 

“That’s true, you did an amazing job since day one.” You looked at Meian who smiled at you fondly. 

“Well, it was a team effort, my girls worked really hard too.” You pointed at your three assistants who looked at you with pink cheeks and shiny eyes. “Well, unless any of you have any questions I think that’s it for today.”  Everyone gathered their belongings and left the meeting room, you went straight to your office to get your purse and lock the place before heading home. 

“Wanna have some lunch with ‘Samu?” You heard Atsumu say. 

“That depends, can I pay for my food?” 

“Not a chance.” He shook his head. “He invited Kita-san and Suna apparently likes you better than me and asked me to invite you.” He explained and you raised a brow. 

“You don’t want me there?” You laid on your desk, hands resting on your sides and legs crosses in front of you, he rolled his eyes and walked closer to you. 

“Of course I do, what are you talking about?” His warm hand caressed your cheek and you held to his wrist moving his hand to rest on your shoulder. “So? You coming or not. If you don’t ‘Samu will be mad at me.” 

“He’s a big boy, he’ll live.” You joked and he poked your side. “Let me lock the place and we can go.” You grabbed your keys from your desk and locked your office, hoping to not have to come back in a few weeks. Sighing, you turned back to see Atsumu holding his car keys and a smug grin, you walked out the training grounds and to the parking lot where some members of the team had a conversation outside their cars, you waved goodbye and Atsumu opened the front seat door for you. 

“Driving her again, Miya?” Barnes asked boarding his own car. 

“Such a gentleman, I’m so proud.” Inunaki followed. 

“Very funny, Inu-san. But no, we are having lunch with my brother.” You couldn’t really hear what they were saying right after he closed the door, but figured that they were still messing with him by Atsumu’s expression. “God, they are so annoying.” He grumbled when he got in the car. 

“Everything okay?” You looked at him in the eye, his brows were furrowed and a few creases showed his frustration and annoyance at his teammates. You ran your thumb across his forehead and smiled. “You are going to get wrinkles before you turn thirty, ‘Tsumu.” His ears turned red at your sudden touch and he tried to hide it by frowning even more. 

“Let’s just go.” He could almost swear his heart was about to burst out of his chest. He started the car engine and maneuvered in reverse turning his head back and his hand intentionally placed on the head rest of your seat. “You have plans for the holidays?” 

“My family is coming for Christmas and we are visiting some relatives not too far from here; and of course the awards, I might travel to Miyagi to see some friends but I’m not sure yet.” You played with the seatbelt as you recounted your plans. “What about you?”

“‘Samu and I are going to Hyogo to see our parents, we usually visit Kita and his grandma with the rest of the team the day after christmas and then Suna and I are driving to Tokyo for the party.” With his body slightly forward making sure there were no other cars, he took the turn to the avenue where Onigiri Miya was located, his finger drummed on the gear shift to the music from the radio. 

“Osamu is not going to the party?” You questioned. 

“He gave vacations to all of his employees and has to take care of the shop.” He explained and stopped the car in front of the shop. “I'm starving.” You took your seatbelt off and opened the door at the same time as him, not giving him time to open the door for you like he always did, but he was faster than you and opened the entrance door. It was almost noon so the shop was quite busy, people in the stalls and booths enjoying their food and talking about their days, the constant sound of silverware jingling and the smell of fresh rice welcomed you into the shop as you walked to the counter where Suna’s slouched figure waited. Atsumu greeted him with a pat on his back, making Suna turn around to shake hands and ‘bro hug’ him. “Where 's ‘Samu? 

“The kitchen, he should be done by now. Hi, Y/N.” Suna pushed Atsumu to the side and grinned at you lazily. 

“Hey Suna, I haven’t seen you since the match in Sendai.”  Like Hana, Suna got along with you pretty fast, you caught up with his sarcastic humor and easy going personality, he showed you a lot of photos from his high school memories, he was a great story teller, never missing embarrassing details and adding snarky comments here and there. On said match at Sendai, you finally figured out why he looked so familiar the first time you met him. It turns out he went to the same university as you and you interviewed the middle blocker once for an article when you were a journalist for your school’s newspaper. When you told him he laughed at you saying he already knew but wanted to see how long it would take you to figure it out.

“Well, you’ve been busy.” He looked to the side, his tone was bitter, the taste of defeat lingering on his tongue after losing the finals to the Black Jackals. 

“Don’t be a sore loser, Suna.” You said taking the seat by his side, almost missing his jaw clenching. “Losing is normal, you don’t have to feel bad about it.” You teased. 

“You are not going to let me live that one down, aren’t you?”  

“Absolutely not.” You looked at Atsumu this time, he was looking at his phone screen clearly bored, he was extremely moody when hungry, that’s something you learnt during the season when he would go quiet for hours and back to his usual self once he had something to eat. “You okay?” You asked and he laid his head on your shoulder. 

“I’m hungry.” He groaned. You gave him a few pats on the side of his face and felt his body relax to your touch as you continued your chat with Suna. 

“Am I interrupting something?” Osamu chimed in coming out of the kitchen, making his brother get up instantly. “Food is almost ready, before you ask.” 

“Perfect timing.” You heard a stern voice behind you and all three tensed, you looked behind you to see Kita removing his cap. “I need some help with the rice bags, mind helping me?”  Atsumu and Osamu made their way to the door and to Kita’s truck in no time, Kita trailing behind. 

“Why do you guys look so scared?” You asked Suna. 

“Are you kidding? Kita popped out of nowhere!” Suna whispered, as if Kita could hear him from outside the shop. “He’s really scary sometimes.” You rolled your eyes. Kita was intimidating and really severe, but not enough to make you shiver.

“You only say that because you guys always do something to upset him.” 

“That’s not true.” He exclaimed. 

“Nothing to hide, nothing to fear, dear.” The restaurant doors opened, showing Atsumu and Osamu fighting to get in first, pushing each other, Suna and you watched unamused, knowing one of them would get hurt sooner or later, you were now used to their sometimes not so playful fighting. Just as you were placing your bet with Suna, they stopped on their tracks and Osamu stepped back to let Atsumu walk in. “What just happened?” You asked yourself rather than Suna, Kita stood behind the twins , Atsumu walked past you and lifted the countertop door, leaving the rice bag on the cold table. You heard Osamu mumble ‘I’m sorry, Kita-san.’ from the door and went straight to the kitchen. You couldn’t believe how easily he made the twins calm down. 

“Sorry about that.” Kita apologized to you. 

“Don’t worry about it, I’m already used to it.” You said calmly. Kita and Atsumu sat down and Osamu came out of the kitchen with another server, one plate of onigiri on each hand. You thanked him and the server who gave you a water bottle. Atsumu, as impatient as he was, scarfed down the extremely hot onigiri and immediately opened his mouth, steam came out from it and he whined in pain, placing his hand under his chin to prevent food from spilling. Everyone watched him jump on his seat chanting ‘hot, hot, hot’  as he tried to chew the rice ball, you giggled and opened his water bottle for him, when he finally swallowed his food he exhaled in relief and gulped down half of the contents from the plastic bottle. 

“Where are your manners, Atsumu? You can’t do that kind of thing in front of the girl you are courting.”  Kita reprimanded him and Atsumu choked on his water, little droplets spilling on the counter. Suna and Osamu couldn’t stop laughing at the setter — you were laughing too, but you felt bad for Atsumu— you made sure he wasn’t choking anymore and excused yourself to the bathroom, ears burning from Kita’s comment. “What was that?” Atsumu’s eyes almost popped out of his face. 

“What?” Kita asked, unbothered. 

“The girl you are courting? Really?” Atsumu stressed running his hands through his hair. 

“Well, aren’t you?” Kita inquired. 

“Yes! But it sounds weird when you say it like that.” Embarrassed, Atsumu rested his head on the counter looking at  Suna’s direction, Osamu wiped the wet surface and yanked Atsumu’s hair lightly to make him sit correctly as you joined them again, asking him if he felt better, he nodded and moved closer to you. As always, Osamu’s food was amazing and you had fun messing with Suna and Osamu, so much that you didn’t noticed the moment they all started planning the next reunion at your place, claiming that it was your initiation as the newest addition to the group, but you knew they just were nosy, even Kita was curious to know where you lived, so you couldn’t say no. 

You waited outside the restaurant with Kita who insisted on keeping you company while Atsumu and Suna helped Osamu with something in the back. “How are things going between you two?” He asked, completely aware of how vague the question was, just wanting to test the waters. You gulped and met his eyes.

“Atsumu and I? Uh, fine, I guess.” You answered uncertainly, tilting your head.

“He’s taking too long.” He asserted with his arms crossed.

“I guess you are right, but I don’t want to rush anything or make him feel like he has to do something when I could easily take the first step, but I’m afraid he’s not sure yet.” You rambled in your place, Kita grinned and looked away. “You meant inside the shop, right?” His grin widened at your question and you huffed in frustration. “That was not funny.” 

“I didn’t do anything, but now that you got that out of your system, I think that’s a conversation you should have with Atsumu. It’s almost painful seeing you two being limited by a simple title when you can fix that rather easily, I don’t know what’s stopping you.” He pondered. 

‘A lot of things.’ You thought. You fixed your eyes on the glass door, you could see Atsumu coming out of the kitchen along with his brother, he looked upset, dragging his feet with every step like a kicked puppy. “Think about it.” That was Kita’s final remark before Atsumu walked out the door, you waved goodbye to Osamu and Kita and walked to Atsumu’s car, feeling a familiar numbness on your limbs and the stinging sensation on your head increased with every passing minute. 

Kita’s words were crude, but you were sure he meant no harm, but even so, the last thing you wanted to do was thinking about the stage of your pseudo-relationship with Atsumu, the reality check tied to it was terrifying. You didn’t want to ruin everything, afraid of not being what he wanted but what he settled for, —or even worse, a distraction— you tried to shrug it all away, but it was hard to believe after all you went through. The thought of not being enough was enough to make you shiver, muscle memory taking you back to the time where you lost yourself to the viciousness of your own brain and it’s deprecating self speech of unworthiness and pity. 

You were stronger now, yes, but at what cost? You now lacked trust and silently craved reassurance or a sign that you were doing things right for yourself this time. 

Staring at the road lost in your thought you couldn’t hear Atsumu calling your name, you felt a big hand on your knee, moving it slightly to get your attention. “Are you okay?” He was clearly worried, luckily the traffic light turned red, you turned your head and stared at him confused. “You are a bit out of it since we left the restaurant.”

“Sorry, I was just thinking. You said something?” 

“I was saying that my building’s management called and said the complex is out of power and that it would take a few hours to fix the problem, and I asked you if I could stay with you for a few hours.” He repeated himself. 

“Sure, it’s still really early, we can watch a movie if you want to.” You offered trying to ease the tension. “Anything but Fast and Furious.” 

“Come on! They are amazing.” He protested. The light turned green and he moved the car.

“We watch them every time you are at my place.” You complained. “Let’s watch something else, it’s getting old.” Atsumu gasped, offended by your comment. 

“Terminator then.” He laughed at your annoyed expression and kept driving ‘til you reached your building’s parking lot. You changed your clothes while Atsumu picked the movie. He was really worried about you, what happened at the restaurant? He texted Kita asking if you said something or looked uncomfortable while he was being lectured by Osamu and Suna. ‘You need to talk.’ was Kita’s reply, sighing he left his phone on the coffee table and waited for you to come out of your room. 

‘I don’t know what game you are playing here, but don’t waste that girl’s time.’

Osamu’s words replayed in his head. Was he really taking too long? He knew the answer to that question, but uncertainty always fogged his thinking, and a thousand other questions creeped inside, making it harder for him to tell you how much he needed you. How much would things change if the unspoken pact you two created turned into a real talk, would you stay? 

He was not afraid of commitment, he was afraid that he never committed to anything that wasn’t volleyball, he didn’t know how to be a boyfriend but he knew he wanted to be yours. You never treated him differently and cared enough to see past the bad reputation he had, you cared about him. He got used to your nature but oftentimes forgot about how important stability can be, you weren’t teenagers anymore and sooner or later you would get tired. He had all the intentions, but just like you, the fear of not being enough held him back. 

You were scared of being replaced and he was scared to hurt you. 

“What are we watching?” You sat by his side and crossed your legs. You were now wearing a hoodie with the team logo and signature claw scratches, sweatpants and your hair was tied in a high ponytail. 

“I couldn’t pick one, so you choose.” He passed you the remote and laid back on the couch. You ended up watching Bride Wars, the two of you had terrible taste in movies so you alway went for the safe options, and you always ended up chatting halfway through and not paying attention to the film. 

“She deserves better than Fletcher anyway.” Atsumu played with your hair as the movie credits appeared on the screen, your back was on his chest raising slightly with his steady breathing. 

“She really did, she settled because she felt pressured.” You held his hand and interlocked his fingers with yours. 

“What do you mean?” He looked down at your hands now connected and smiled to himself. 

“When you spend that many years with someone you think the only reasonable thing is to stay forever with them, and sometimes that’s not what you want, but that realization comes really late, look at her, she was about to get married when she came to her senses, she was getting married because it was what everyone expected her to do, she had to convince herself she wanted it, that she wanted him.” You explained. “He made things hard for her, and still she tried to make it work for both of them, it wasn’t fair for her.” Atsumu hummed in agreement and noticed how your tone decreased with every word. You went silent for a while lost in your thoughts again. 

“You’ve been acting weird since we left the restaurant. What 's going on?” He asked, shifting in his place trying to get a better look of your face, your eyes were glossy and your brows slightly furrowed. 

“I don’t know.” You sighed heavily. “I’m scared.”  You played with the strings of your hoodie. “I don’t want to feel like someone just settled for me again.” You continued, fighting the memories from last year when you felt his arms tightening around you. “I don’t want to go through that again, I got so used to giving more than I could, to trying to do my best and beyond and still that wasn’t enough, I wasn’t enough.” You weren’t crying, there was nothing to cry about in the first place, you were just tired of battling your inner thoughts, you wanted a break.

“Don’t say that, your ex was an idiot for letting you go. Y/N, you are the most caring and dedicated person I’ve ever met, if anything, you were the one who settled for someone who couldn’t give his everything for you.” He felt the vibrations of your body as you chuckled. 

“Yeah, my friends always tell me that.”  He kissed your temple gently.

“See? He was just a scrub.”  ‘And I would treat you so much better.’

“Sorry I got too emotional.” You looked up and he placed another kiss on your forehead. 

“Don’t apologize for having feelings, it’s normal.” You raised an eyebrow and tried to break free from his embrace to rest your chin on his chest. “What?” He asked. 

“I never expected you to say something like that, you are very wary of showing your feelings.” You pointed out, running a hand through his blonde hair and he poked your side making you laugh, it was your turn to peck his chin. You enjoyed the comfortable silence that set between you two, propping your head on his chest close enough to hear his heart beating, eyes closed in bliss. You were safe. 

“I’m sorry for being too slow.” He said. “I think it’s obvious I like you, and while I enjoy what we have now, you deserve clarity and I need to get this out of my chest.” He made you sit correctly,  you lightly stretched your limbs as you got up. Atsumu took your hand and played with your fingers trying to word his thoughts. “I’m scared too. I’ve never been in a relationship and I didn’t know how to talk to you about this, I thought maybe you weren’t looking for something serious, especially with me, you know? But I like to think we are on the same page now.” You nodded and he continued. “Give me a few days, let me make it special for you to see I’m serious about this, and that I want to treat you better, please.” His eyes finally met yours. 

“Take all the time you need, ‘Tsumu, I think I need some time too and  I don’t want you to feel pressured to do anything.”  

“You are not, stop saying that. I want this.” He grumbled frustrated.

“Me too.” You kissed the back of his hand and he hugged you again. You watched another silly rom-com and talked about the party a little more before Atsumu received a call from his building’s management to notify him that the power was restored, it was around 7 p.m. so he got ready to leave, with his keys in one hand and his phone in his pocket he walked to the door with you following behind. “I’ll see you at the party then.” 

“That’s a lot of time.” He complained.

“Stop whining, it’s just two weeks.”  You scrunched your nose when he bent down to kiss it.

“I’ll call you everyday if I can’t see you.” He smirked. 

“Please do.” You rolled your eyes. He puckered his lips, waiting for his mandatory goodbye kiss but you took the chance to pinch his lips with your fingers making him instantly step back. “Good night, ‘Tsumu.” You said before he could say anything and closed your door. A muffled ‘That’s not fair.’ could be heard from the other side, Atsumu stared at your door, he tensed his jaw and shook his head for a second. He couldn’t hide the lovesick grin adorning his face as he walked to his car. 

He had two very long weeks ahead.   

(a/n: uh hELLO, this chapter ruined all my planning but i think those two are really cute, now QUICK QUESTION, would you like to see what iwaizumi aka mr. cheater is up to??? maybe?? no??? you guys tell me! i have the wip but idk if y’all would like to see it, i’ll be reading y’all. anyways, remember the fic has a playlist and y’all can check it out, also if you have song recs to add i would love to hear them!! i hope everyone is healthy and doing great at school or work :)) please stay safe and wear your masks!!) 

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