#your smart russian grandpa

[stargazer-sims]

Grandpa's Roommate

Grandpa: Hang on! I’m coming. Don’t beat my door down. People are so impatient these days, and… What the— What’re all those suitcases for?

Ira: Hello.

Grandpa: Who are you?

Ira: People in this community don’t say ‘hello’ as a form of greeting?

Grandpa: Are you selling something?

Ira: Are you Nikolai Pavlenko?

Grandpa: Depends on who’s asking.

Ira: I’m your new roommate. I replied to your ad, and you answered my email. You said to come here at this time.

Grandpa: But…

Ira: But, what?

Grandpa: You’re a… a woman.

Ira: Astute observation.

Grandpa: Well, this is awkward.

Ira: What’s awkward about it?

Grandpa: I was expecting a man. A man answered my ad. He was the only person who responded. University professor of mechanical engineering. A man called Bowden. Dr. Ira Bowden.

Ira: I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I’m Dr. Bowden. It’s not Ira, like an eye. It’s Ira, as in the diminutive for Iryna. Dr. Iryna Komarova-Bowden.

Grandpa: Oh.

Ira: Letting me take that English-sounding surname when I immigrated was the only useful thing my no good ex-husband ever did for me.

Grandpa: You’re Russian?

Ira: Hmm... I’m full of surprises.

Grandpa: I certainly wasn’t expecting that.

Ira: Is my being a Russian-Canadian a problem?

Grandpa: No, not at all. It’s just that you’re catching me off-guard for the second time since you got here. First, you’re a woman, and then… uhh… you know.

Ira: I don’t think you can dig that hole much deeper, Dr. Pavlenko.

Grandpa: Sorry. It’s just… I used to know a girl named Iryna Komarova.

Ira: Did you?

Grandpa: It was a very long time ago. We were... good friends.

Ira: That's not the tone most people use to describe good friends. Might she have been your lover, by chance?

Grandpa: I was a teenager. I didn't know what love was.

Ira: Do you want to know something? I used to know a boy named Nikolai. His mother called him Nika, and a day came when he let me call him that, too.

Grandpa: Uh... you can call me Dr. Pavlenko for now. Because... because we're total strangers and we just met for the first time today, and... maybe in a week or so we can graduate to formal first names. How about that?

Ira: I can see you're uncomfortable. If this isn't going to work out, I can leave. I'm sure my lazy son can be forced into coming back to collect me and my suitcases. Of course, I'll have to stay with him until I find somewhere else to live, since I already gave up my condo. Honestly, I'd rather go to the dentist every day for the rest of my life than to live with with him, but I'm sure I'll survive.

Grandpa: No, it's all right. Why don't you come in? I'll show you the extra room, and we can work out some details.

Ira: Who's going to carry my bags in?

Grandpa: I'll do it. I think I can manage a few suitcases. Do you have other stuff?

Ira: Yes, but it's in storage. I'll have it delivered later if we can come to an agreement.

Grandpa: Before we go in, let me introduce you to Fish. She lives here rent-free.

Ira: Your dog is called Fish?

Grandpa: She came from the shelter with that name, and she already answered to it. It's impossible to change it now. I don't make the rules.

Ira: How... interesting.

Ira: *to herself* Well, this is going to be an experience...

[never-be-tamed]

A VERY DESCRIPTIVE PROFILE OF YOUR MUSE. Repost with the information of your muse, including headcanons, etc. if you fail to achieve some of the facts, add some other of your own!

Name: Alexander Buran Wolkow

Alias: The Big Bad Wolf, The Storm

Nicknames: Lexi (💀), Alexei, Alex, Hubby, Grandpa, Saschenka, dummer Esel

Birthday: 11.01.1990 (34)

Species: Human

Sex: Male

Sexuality: Hetero

Nationality: Russian

Height: 186cm

Hair: Dark blonde

Beard: Yes

Eyes: Green

Residence: Moscow

Profession: Mafia Boss of the Wolkowskaja

Other: Owns a nightclub called 'Wolfshöhle' and a fightclub.

Companions: Buran, a white wolf.

Family: Jegor (grandfather), Diana (grandmother), Kalina (aunt) †, Mavrik (uncle), Maksim (aunt), Igor (father), Anja (mother), Accalia @daemonoria (halfsister), Irina (sister), Stepan (brother), Timofej (cousin)

Significant other: Marissa Elena @ravishingnemesis (girlfriend/right hand/childhood friend/bestfriend)

Other: Iljà @betterstay-dead (hubby/bestfriend), Nikita @shevampyre (frenemie/bestfriend), Nikolai Saizew (handyman), Oleg Ivanov (the butcher)

+ Strenghts: Smart, skilled in fighting (with or without weapon), very understanding, strong, piano player, funny, caring , sarcastic

- Weaknesses: Tends to please people, very understanding (yes it's also very bad sometimes), loved ones, tends to get very angry sometimes, can shut down completely when hurt

Interests: Playing the piano, motorcycles, being in nature, loves to travel, spends time with his girl and his friends, loves to drive his family members crazy, drinks alcohol, jogging, fighting

Colors: Blue, red

Favorite weapon: gun

Drinks: Water, Tea, Whiskey, Vodka, Wine

Driver's license: Car and motorcycle

Signature outfit: Suit, leather jacket

—

seen on: idk anymore, lmao

tagging: you, I'm tired sry

[deathmetalunicorn1]

hello! can i request a nikola tesla and the other scientist x male reader (plotonic with albert einstein,galileo & Alfred

as male! reader would see them as a father/grandpa figure's but with the othes scientist would be a poly relationship

[with Issac Newton, thomas Edison, Marie curie & Nikola Tesla]. if you don't want too or your not comfortable with it, it can be just a Nikola Tesla x male reader)

(this is kind of a "long" request but half of it is just information)

(alright to the the actual request)

Nikola and the other scientist with an m!s/o that acts dumb and oblivious but is basically william james sidis who is the smartest man to have ever lived and the man who had the IQ of 250-300 maybe more?and has a little tragic past?…like imagine the surprise of the others

(if you don't know who William James sidis.that's fine as i found facts about him that explains him and his discoveries and life in short with out writing a whole paragraph(which it still kind of is) so here you go(ps.if you want to know more information just type his name and you'll find it on Google♡︎:

facts:

William James Sidis

Said to be the smartest person who has ever lived, William James Sidis is the benchmark for child prodigies. He was reportedly able to read the newspaper aged just 18 months and entered Harvard University aged 11, graduating at 16

Why was William Sidis so smart?

Both his parents were highly educated, with his father being a prestigious psychiatrist and his mother graduating from Boston University in medicine. Williams's main areas of interest were mathematics, linguistics, and as an inventor. He was said to have known 25 to 40 languages

he actually went to harvard at 11 or 12 year's old… and knows around 25+ languages and dialects, including Esperanto, Latin, Greek, Russian, Yiddish, German, French, Hebrew, Welsh, Turkish, Armenian, and Sumerian, and he invented another

which he called Vendergood.In his work, The Book of Vendergood, Sidis essentially merged elements of Latin, Greek, French, German, and other Romance languages to create a new language.

his IQ has been estimated to be between 250 to 300+ or even more. And he's also known for

the book. The Animate and the Inanimate, that he published in 1925 (written around 1920), in which he speculated about the origin of life in the context of thermodynamics.

Sidis predicted the existence of regions of space where the second law of thermodynamics operates in the reverse temporal direction of our local area.

and By the time William Sidis was two he could read English and, at four he was typing original work in French. At the age of five he had devised a formula whereby he could name the day of the week for any given historical date. At eight he projected a new logarithms table based on the number twelve. He entered Harvard at the age of twelve and graduated cum laude before he was sixteen. Mathematics was not his only forte. At this age he could speak and read fluently French, German, Russian, Greek, Latin, Armenian and Turkish. During his first year at Harvard University the boy astounded students and scientists with his theories on "Fourth Dimensional Bodies."

The "man behind the gun" in this boy's amazing intellectual attainments is supposed to have been his father, a graduate in psychology at Harvard and a close friend of William James, after whom the boy was named. Dr. Boris Sidis believed in awakening in the child of two an interest in intellectual activity and love of knowledge. If you started early enough and worked intensively, Dr. Sidis claimed that by ten a child would acquire a knowledge equal to that of a college graduate. The boy’s father published articles urging other parents to follow his methods. He castigated the school authorities for their "cramming, routine and rote methods," which he said, "tend to nervous degeneracy and mental breakdown."

Sidis pointed to his son, William, as a successful example of his methods. He wrote: "At the age of twelve the boy had a fair understanding of comparative philology and mythology. He is well versed in logic, ancient history, American history and has a general insight into our politics and into the ground-work of our constitution. At the same time he is of extremely happy disposition, brimming over with humor and fun?"

Whether or not his childhood life was psychologically normal, William's life after Harvard was a series of unhappy incidents. He engaged in obscure mechanical jobs because, it was reported, "he did not want to think." At the age of twenty-four he estranged himself from his parents and to his last days the gap between parents and son remained unreconciled, though toward his sister he always felt a brotherly love which was expressed by a bond of friendship and mutual interests. Toward the press, William Sidis bore an everlastingly strong hatred.

From this story the newspapers and the general public drew some ill-formed conclusions about William Sidis and genius in general. Newspaper writers pointed out that his "genius had burned out," that he was "tired of thinking." By comparison it was stated that musical geniuses are less likely to burn out. The father’s system was held responsible for making the boy a prodigy. The parental pushing was blamed for the mental breakdown and antisocial attitude. From his desire to keep out of the limelight and taking obscure jobs that would pay for his subsistence, William Sidis, the boy prodigy, was made out to be at the time of his death a lonely, eccentric, prodigious failure" whose intellect had deteriorated.

so when m! reader got to Valhalla that's why he acted so oblivious and dumb as he was actually so tired of thinking back when he was alive but now since he was in Valhalla he can finally do whatever he wanted when he wanted and finally rest but it did take him a year or two to get back to his genius self Back.

(to the surprise of the others who first met him as a "obvious man and Dumb man" so there very VERY surprised seeing his theories and achievements he had at such a young age that he kept secret from them while he was finally relaxing only wanting a time where he didn't have to think all the time)

(and how did they find out? they accidentally walked in on

m!reader casually solving a problem they we're having trouble with so they just look at him in shock as he was known to be oblivious and being not so smart to say…they also did get confused when m!reader speaks in Vendergood)

(and i thought it would be funny to see nikola's and the other scientists finding out that nikola's/there

M!s/o who is known to be oblivious and dumb is actually more smarter than them cause why not)

-Valhalla was a place of peace for you- a place where you could just relax, enjoy yourself, there was no pressure to do more- to be the best- no people breathing down your neck, watching your every move, wanting to know how you were so smart.

-You made friends, good friends with other geniuses throughout history, Nikola Tesla, Albert Einstein, Galileo, Isaac Newton, and Thomas Edison- and you enjoyed watching them work, but not for any goal they had specifically in mind- no they did it for fun.

-You kept quiet on how smart you really were- not wanting to relive what you had to live through on earth, being pressured by your parents, your teachers, everyone around you- to be a genius.

-You remember the pain well, when you finally broke, unable to handle their pressure- their expectations, and you turned away from science and knowledge, just wanting to be a normal guy!

-That’s why you hide your intelligence in Valhalla, pretending that you weren’t as smart as the others around you- you were afraid of their expectations of you if they were to find out, afraid of their questions because in actuality you were smarter than all of them.

-You adored your friends, growing close with all of them, they were like brothers or father figures to you, real father figures who just sat and talked with you over coffee and cake, asking about your day, the weather, and other random topics.

-They never made you feel inferior however, never looking down on you that you were not as smart as them, they made you feel welcomed, asking for your opinion, or rambling on about their newest discovery, as you would sit there and listen to them without a care in the world.

-You loved watching them work, seeing their joy- their passion, in the pursuit of knowledge, wanting to know more and more. It reminded you of when you were young on Earth, you were so full of hope and joy, only to be snuffed out by pressure.

-You walked in with a large box from the bakery you all enjoyed, “Food!” and heads turned from all over the lab, seeing you there, heading over to the large, mostly empty table that was half taken up by Marie’s own research.

-You looked over at the problem they had been researching for days now, each of them taking turns being in charge, each of them researching the factors and theories that went into the equation, but with nothing adding up.

-The equation looked simple, but you could see errors all over, which was the reason why they weren’t getting any results.

-You ushered all of them away from their work, pushing on Nikola’s back, “Go take a shower and get something to drink- I got everyone’s favorites!”

-Not wanting to leave their work, they did as you told, all of them leaving the lab to clean up, as you told them it might help to take a break then come back with fresh eyes and with baked goods in their belly.

-Once they were gone, you got to work, helping clean up their dirty dishes around the lab, straightening things up like their paperwork, but for the most part leaving everything alone.

-You then looked at the massive blackboard you saw Thomas and Nikola working on and you bit your lip lightly, looking at the mistakes, before looking at the closed door.

-They had been all working so hard and you could see their frustration mounting, you felt bad as you worried about them, before you sighed softly, “If I can be quick!”

-You grabbed the chalk and the ladder Thomas was on before you ascended, going to the top of the board, where the first mistake was, and you corrected it, before you noticed that due to that mistake, everything was now messed up.

-You looked back at the door, before you quickly started erasing, filling out the correct formula, turning it into a race to be done before your friends got back.

-You reached the bottom, going into zone before you pulled back, setting the chalk down, “Finished!” a mug hitting the floor had you leaping out of your skin, turning to see Thomas pointing up at the board, seeing the corrected formula, ending with the solution, as he had been the one to drop his mug.

-You blanched, terrified and they could see the terror before you were quickly scooped up by Isaac, “Y/N this is amazing!!” you cried out, being spun around before you were sat down, your eyes twirling around in your head.

-You were nervous as the others quickly, Nikola wrapping an arm around you, pulling you close, all of them elated that you solved the problem so easily!

-You twiddled your fingers bashfully, “You’re not mad?” Galileo turned, taking your hand before leading you to the box of treats you had gotten, “Mad? Why would we be mad? This is amazing! We knew you were smart but this is…” he trailed off, just in awe.

-Marie giggled softly, pinching your cheek as you looked shocked, “Didn’t think we didn’t know about you, right Y/N? We’ve known since we met you- but we saw how nervous you looked- for good reasons- so we never pushed you.”

-You felt foolish, your cheeks growing red which made them all poke fun at you, teasing you harmlessly before Nikola looked up at the board, “How did you figure out where we went wrong?”

-You pointed at the point of the chalkboard where you started writing, “That math equation there was calculated wrong, so it gave you the wrong answer, and with the wrong answer going all the way down, you would have never gotten the correct solutions.”

-They all gaped up at you, blinking owlishly before it was your turn to playfully tease them, “And that’s why I tell you all to take breaks!” laughter quickly filled the room, research done for the moment, as you sat with your friends, enjoying your snacks in this rare quiet moment, your fear and anxiety now gone.

[ulec-elec]

I'd love to hear some of your headcanons for the main cast of kids if you've got any

Oskar

- undiagnosed ad(h)d

- vegetarian

- plays guitar

- loves music and listens to cope (mostly German indie music

- "Ignore the family issues"

- simp lol

- alman

- Voice of reason

- Strongggg

- German

Gruftine

- sarcasm

- impulsive

- vampiric healing

- Has to pierce her ears every other day bcs she heals too fast

- "Ignores the family issues as well"

- mean voice of reason

- Girlboss

- A woman in 🤺STEM🕺

- Russian

Sunshine

- Broke up with Oskar but they're besties now okay she's a good person mmmm blocking out the haters/j

- also family issues but she deals with it in a healthy way

- stronggg

- Theatre kid

- Half werewolf don't ask me

- Gruftine's bestie

- German

Ashley

- A dickhead but he's pathetic so it's okay

- Theatre kid

- The grandpa friend

- Has his human form back

- Judgy asf

- Protective

- Klott's bestie

- Dutch

Klott

- mom friend

- Calm

- Plays his instruments now

- Also judgy but worried judgy

- The real voice of reason

- The youngest and yet the most adult

- "You guys need therapy fr"

- Ashley's bestie

- German

Fletcher

- can fight

- has a gf but still bitchless

- parental issues ❤️

- Used to date Gruftine

- Now dates Batoria

- Half American 🇺🇸

- Gruftine punched him in the face, now his nose is hooked (he wears it with pride)

- Insanely good reflexes

Tinto

- smart

- Tired

- Loves his gf

- Tinto and Raveena go on double dates with Fletcher and Batoria

- Overworked all the time

- "It's not easy being this smart"

- Bavarian bcs as a german this is funny to me

- Tall asf

- He's a sweet guy but he tends to take a step back from the other students

Raveena

- lovely

- Mom friend

- Very interested in tinto's science

- BUT MORE ABOUT HIS WELL-BEING

- super soft

- A family gal. Hurt her family get her hatred

- Batoria's bestie

- Short short

- German

Batoria

- better than all of us

- Still pranks ppl

- She knows how to manipulate

- Gaslight gatekeep girlboss

- She comes to visit a lot (she travels to the school with Raveena)

- Her and Fletcher have an oddly healthy relationship

- Russian

[shinmiyovvi]

Bell OC Info 💖💙

Alright, I made a promise that I would make Kaoru and Dimi's info about the two of them! Now then, let's start with this thing.

Kaoru Sasaki:

She is the daughter of Akane Sasaki and Shintaro Masaki (Takeo's descendant? Maybe his son/grandson perhaps?)

Her height is 5"10 (Quite tall for an Asian woman)

She was born on September 18, 1952.

Kaoru can speak English, Japanese, and Russian.

Her favorite color is red, black, and gold.

Also called "Hannya" (It can be symbolized as anger, fear, strength, or betrayal, as it also means wisdom according to Buddhism.)

She is a quiet, smart, and caring person.

Kaoru has an earring where it shows the kamon (family crest?) of the Sasaki clan and her gold haori having the crest of the Masaki clan on the back (I'll make the kamons soon 💖)

Spends her childhood by learning martial arts from her grandfather on her mother's side and katana training with Shintaro.

Wants to be a programmer but ended up in an office as a call center agent due to the lack of job hiring.

Always eager to learn new things.

Always misprounounces her name to Masaki, which she finds it a bit annoying. At the same time, she wants to make use of her father's last name to make her ancestors proud and bring honor to them (Takeo: *happy honor noises*)

Has feelings with Dimitri throughout their time in the CIA. (Yes, they're already in a relationship after the events of the campaign.)

She has a katana wherein there's a name inscribed on the blade which said "Takeo Masaki" (It's like Path of Sorrows, but with Tak's name on it. Tak is such a proud grandpa right now 🥹💖)

When she was 15, she wants to dye her hair red, but her father refused to let her do so until she's already old enough. (Imagine Kaoru yelling "IN YOUR FACE, OLD MAN!" to Shintaro when she finally got her hair dyed 😅)

She's is friends with Mikan Owari, Kitsune, Wraith, Naga, Portnova, and has a complicated friendship with Jackal but still look at each other as allies.

She feels uneasy when she met Stitch on her workplace or when he shows up to any places she went to until she feels comfortable being with him.

She looks at Adler as an enemy for being a huge douchebag and an ahhhole to Dimitri.

During her time in Perseus, she got a scar on her left cheek and a scar on the bridge of her nose during her time with the CIA.

When she was brainwashed, all of her memories were tampered and forgot about her goal to save Dimitri from Adler and the others. (Which Dimi pulls out a reverse card on her by doing the same thing she did to him by letting him remember who he was.)

Kitsune and Kaoru are quite rivals when it comes to challenging themselves on who can hijack the security in an government office.

Like Dimi, she hates Arash and Qasim for being jerks.

Kaoru always wanted to meet her grandfather and the Masaki Clan. (Imagine Takeo just losing his shit when he meets Kaoru, it could be Ultimis or Primis, who knows.)

Finds Mason and Woods as two uncles, one is a grumpy old man while the other is chill and caring.

Also has feelings for Lazar (Can't blame her though, Lazar is something.)

Kaoru has good terms with Park and Sims until she found out about their involvement about the MKUltra.

She loves eating spicy yakisoba, katsu, donburi, sushi, takoyaki, and dango.

When Lena saw her records, this reminded her of Takeo himself as she was convinced that she is Tak's descendant. (I know, Tag happened but this is a headcanon where Tak got a son and maybe a grandson before the events of Zombies.)

Dimitri Volkov

He is a KGB agent and part of Perseus.

He was once part of a gang during his teenage years.

Dimitri is a serious, criminal-minded, smart, and brutal person.

He has no relations with Anton Volkov.

His height is 6"1.

Dimitri was born in November 9, 1949.

He usually curse at Kaoru for complimenting him, did something wrong, or just being all of a pesimist person. But deep inside, he cares for her, he's just being a huge tsundere to her.

He was a campus crush during his senior years even though he was quite rebellious.

His father is from the KGB when he was young and followed his footsteps when he got older.

He loves going to bars a lot to drink some beer or vodka and talk to the ladies there.

Before joining Perseus, aside from being a KGB agent, he was also a hitman as well.

He doesn't get drunk easily.

He's mostly fond of playing board games.

During his time as a KGB agent, hitman, and part of Perseus, he got a scar on his left eye, right eyebrow, and also on his neck.

Dimitri's quite handsome that even the female employess on the KGB falls in loved with him, though he did got a girlfriend once but ended up dumping her for being a tramp and just begs him to be her boyfriend only for money, attention, and smeks.

He likes girls who are pure, beautiful, has honor with them, not a huge tramp, loyal, caring, a loving person, sweet, and gives him the love that he needs in his life. (Aw, even Dimi can be soft sometimes.)

He has some tattoos on his arms and back.

Dimitri smokes a lot, but only when he feels like it. He has his limitations.

When he was an spy on the CIA, he goes by the name Yuri Sidorov.

Stitch and Dimitri has a strained relationship with each other.

Dimitri hates Arash and doesn't care about Qasim. When he found out Arash died and Qasim was captured, he only wished he was there to see them getting beatened up by Adler amd the others or simply beating them up with his bare hands.

Hates Adler, Mason, Woods, Hudson for torturing him and involving Kaoru to his mess during the interrogation.

He's Kaoru's boyfriend at the end of the campaign. (I chose Duga in my fic so yeah after what happened in Duga, Dimi helps Kaoru recover her memories back and finally got the chance to make her as his girlfriend.)

Doesn't care about Sims, Lazar, and Park but he knew that Park was the one behind the idea of the MKUltra.

When he met Lena, he got a liking on her but it was gone until he remembered about Kaoru.

When he met Kaoru on the building where it became a hideout for her, he hates her for being stubborn for not joining Perseus until they got along during her day off. (They even got a photo on the carnival where he won her a plushie and I will draw them soon 🥹💖)

[lonespektr]

FRIDAY SEPTEMBER FIRST HORROR WATCH 2023 DOUBLE FEATURE

Violent Night (2022) & Bones and All (2022)

Violent Night

Ok ok ok it took a while to get my Internet to cooperate

Oh shizz that's actually Santa, i thought it was about a thief Maybe??

Omg i been watching the righteous gemstones and she's playing the same character

911?

Love sis hair

Lol amazon packages

The sleigh is cool

Actual coal

Diligent santa presentation

Lol he forgot

You didn't write a letter? Well who's fault is that?

Lol one way radio

I mean not a bad ploy if you know your kid

Mean to ddeer

Okay solid magic

That's right booo skim

Where's the goat milk

I like the leather outfit over what's it usually like .. velour velvet?

The matriarch is good

Luguizamo!

Revlers

KRAMPUS!

Lovely code names

She's got perfect cheekbones and they are making sure we see em

I knew he was asleep

Outfits and everything

Lol damn she just left her kids

Even her favorite granddaughter

Babe u sneaking out use your magic

They shorted him out as a drunk, could have maybe referenced that earlier

Aggressive stitching

Lol they ditched him

Everybody can fight like fa real fa real

Serious icicle oh it's a display

Cookie addict more than drink

Ooo writing maybe not consistent

Omg shit decorative work 🤣

Look at that table

Having trouble with exposition

That's a long way round to implicate U.S. imperialism

Fancy safe good set

The thieves costumes are killing me he really made them get dressed up

Nice gimmick i hope they keep doing it

Russian tat santa okay Celtic tat makes more sense

Kinda annoyed he can't hear her

I choose to blame his magic

This is a creative Christmas kills montage

I know it was going to be that radio but I'm annoyed it's not magic

He's got a scroll database which absolves him from being a peeper

Shove it up the borderline

I forgot they managed to kill the black guy first horror check ✔️

He's kinda perfect weight for this

I just realized they paired him with another kid (stranger things)

The audacity of WOW people have wow

Lol that's her fav whiskey she's rich i have a bottle of that

The parents don't the helpless thing with kids bugs me

Should they be able to access the bag?

Oh 😂 villian sob story

Super campy

Lol he already confessed

Magic tied to belief had three temporary believers

Lol how long did that take, hour long did they expect to get into the safe?

Lol PLOT TWIST

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Damn couldn't just get a job

🤣🤣🤣 wait the kid is actually smart

The mercenaries are head to toe covered up but there are womens voices

That's right ladies equality

The main heist crew also has 1? 2 women?

Respect the home alone references with an absolutely plausible rationale

Great amount of blood

Lol he wants to kill Christmas fa real fa real

Some of the stuff is silly/ lazy for no reason

Cornier ending than i thought v cute

Bones and all (2022)

I didn't know it was a period piece

ANDRE!

Very sapphic

Okay right to erotic cannibalism

I looked down earlier, i thought she got kicked in

Oof

Bailed

Birth certificate?

Whoa! Like your mother did

Oh the other way nm

There's clearly some political era they are referencing but idk

Okay not even 100bucks

Thought there was two

First murder 3 omg

So much andre i love it

What a creeper

Omg it's full fantasy

I just thought she was an emotionally disturbed girl into cannibalism

It's full scale werewolf adjacent

Smell from miles off

Oh vinegar!

Does he have a discoloration too? Under his neck

No kill

The implication sites seem to be it's being on addiction

Aannd there's a serial killer trophies

The camera pan to the photos

Grandpa

That's smart

He can smell

3 then 8

I believed you had to

I watched to see if you looked sad

Hopefully she stole something from the house to sell

Typical boy shit

I hope he's a poser a wannabe but i don't think so

Nope

No one our age is new at this

That's quite young

The implication bring there are hella serial killers

Presumably this is supposed to be attractive and endearing

Another shower

No way she slept with the knife like that

No way he's a buck forty even

Itchy

Sympathy for the cows

No i think his is a scar

These kids are smart

Very romantic

Lol for a cop bit

Damn i wanted the poser to be the kid

What does she care

Creeping out again

The implications of that are clear

The future being a friend to yourself

Bailed

She came back

Day job

Creeper

Down

None of these people carry bleach

Kayla

Oh

Tasteful eating cut aways

Closer to sex addiction than drug addiction

I hate when films end on a cut of better times

Like ok but that's not what you just showed me

It feels like a cop out

I mean it reinforces the continued delusion

[cheelseaaaa]

Chaotic Christmas Dinner

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Summary: what is something we expect in a family dinner. Let’s find out as Y/N and family have dinner with the Romanoffs.

Warnings: Alexei being an irresponsible grandpa.

Word count: 945

A/N: My Christmas entries are until 23rd of December. English is not my first language.

Fourth entry for my Christmas entries.

A/N: Deda is short for Dedushka meaning Grandfather

Masterlist

⊱ ──────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ──────── ⊰

Natasha Romanoff's adoptive family is known to be deadly. From her father, Alexei who is the Red Guardian, her mother Melina, who's a Widow and a smart woman, to her sister, Yelena who's also a fellow Black Widow. But once you get to know them better, you'll see their true colours. They are not deadly as you think. In fact, they are very playful. They love to pull pranks on Melina and especially Natasha, every time she's there. They also love to bond with Naomi and Nate. They are simply not as deadly as they seem.

Natasha's and your little family arrived at the Russian household this afternoon and are now preparing for dinner. You are helping Melina cook dinner while Natasha is having a call with the avengers to tell them that you guys are fine, knowing that Russia is a pretty tough country and they are also skeptical about Melina and Alexei, mainly because of what they have done to Natasha in the past.

On the other hand, Yelena and Alexei are playing with the kids in the living room and teaching them some Russian words. You hope that they are not teaching them some curse words.

“Deda, tell us about the time where your father pissed on your hands!” You heard Nate ask Alexei. You've heard that story almost every time you visit them. So, by now you already know what Alexei was going to say.

You shook your head when you heard Yelena complain. “Oh no, that is so gross! Don’t you ever tell that story.”

“Why not? It's a very adventurous story. You will learn a lot from my story.” Alexei argued and they start shouting at each other, Yelena telling Alexei that his story is gross and Alexei defending his story being the greatest story y'all ever hear. Naomi and Nate don’t even care if there are adults arguing in front of them, they think that it's a way of Yelena and Alexei to entertain them.

“Yelena, Alexei. Drop it, dinner's ready” Melina said with authority in her voice making the two adults stop arguing. “Nate, tell your mama dinner's Ready.” Nate obeyed you and ran upstairs to fetch Natasha.

Minutes later and everyone is now sitting on their respective seats in the dining area, you all started to eat dinner, in peace. Or so you thought.

“Yelena, don't play with your food,” Melina said making Yelena pout. “But I want mac and cheese.”

“You just had mac and cheese for lunch.” Melina reminded her, this made Yelena pout even more. You saw your kids hiding their chuckles and you also saw Natasha shaking her head, not wanting to believe that her family is having a petty fight about mac and cheese.

“But I also want mac and cheese for dinner.”

“Yelena, listen to your mother,” Alexei said with finality, making Yelena slouch and continue eating the food on her plate. You thought that you all are going to eat in peace now, but no, the attention drifted to Natasha. “Natasha, eat more food. You are so thin, does the avenger not give you enough food to eat?” Melina said before putting a big amount of food on Natasha's plate, you laugh but stop when you saw your wife glaring at you.

“No, I chose not to eat too much.” Your wife said before transferring the food that Melina put on her plate to yours. You’re gonna eat a lot tonight.

“You need to eat more and not give your wife your food, Little Natasha.” Alexei scolded her making you laugh. Who would have thought that the Black Widow is being scolded because she almost ate nothing?

Melina and Alexei started lecturing Natasha and you decided to join in with them. Sometimes are throwing her under the bus. It just gives you joy when you see your wife being embarrassed. Her cheeks and ears are going red. You just love how cute she is.

"Okay enough! Let's just eat in peace, okay?" She said before continuing to eat. You all are eating peacefully now and Melina is sharing an embarrassing story of Yelena and Natasha's childhood when Natasha shouted “Alexei! You cannot give 'that' to them, they are kids!” Everyone glances at Alexei and saw him holding two glass shots of Vodka and handing them to the kids then made your eyes widen. You immediately snatch the glasses from him and drank all of it. Drinking two vodka shots in a row is a bad idea.

“So? They are Russians, they can handle a small amount of this” He argued and before he can reach the bottle of vodka, Melina got it first. “No! They can't! They are kids, Alexei! They can't handle that” Melina said and hands two glasses of apple juice to Naomi and Nate, who drank it immediately. "Oh, little Natasha, you are also small when you drank this, you even drank a bottle of it compared to this glass shot," Alexei said before downing another glass of vodka. "They are not like me! They are born different. Different from us, Naomi and Nate will live a normal childhood." Natasha said with finality, but it seems like Alexei doesn't give a damn about it.

"Oh c'mon, Yelena, help me convince your sister," Alexei said while gesturing his hands towards Natasha.

"Going here for a family dinner is a very bad idea." You shook your head. What have you done in your life to be involved with this chaotic dinner? You just fall in love and married their eldest, Natasha.

Nevertheless, you love the Romanoffs, and spending time with them is eventful and full of surprises.

⊱ ──────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ──────── ⊰

A/N: Should I start doing request or nah? Should I also make taglist? Feedback is very much appreciated. I am posting every Monday and Thursday

[stargazer-sims]

"as good as a fingerprint"

Grandpa has decided that having a roommate is actually great. It's fun to have a friend his own age to hang out with. They keep each other company and they've convinced each other that their constant verbal jousting keeps their minds sharp (as if these two need to worry about their razor-sharp minds).

As for Ira, she's beginning to suspect the universe runs on something other than pure chance. When searching for a new place to live, she'd initially replied to Grandpa's ad based solely on her curiosity about his name. In her youth, she'd known someone called Nikolai Pavlenko, and she thought it was a funny coincidence that she should encounter someone with that name here.

Now, she's not so sure it's a coincidence at all.

Little things she's observed over the past few weeks have led her to believe this isn't a complete stranger she's moved in with, but rather the same Nikolai Pavlenko she'd known all those years ago. And after what she saw during tonight's session at the community pool, she's more certain than ever.

She had to look twice to make sure her mind wasn't playing tricks on her, but there it was; a heart-shaped birthmark on his lower back. There may be any number of men named Nikolai Pavlenko in the world, and even some that love science and are around her own age, but she's sure only one has such a distinctive birthmark. In her opinion, this is almost as good as a fingerprint in terms of identification.

Now, the question is whether or not he's worked out her identity too, and which one of them is going to broach the subject first.

[madame-fear]

Heyyyyyy

Hows it going as well omg, im so happy for you with your test results congrats on them!!! I hope your moving is going okay! we moved a couple months ago so i get how stressful it can be!

some lil get to know me things idk i like discussing interests!! (please feel free to share your omg PLLEEAASE)

my favourite colour is red,

favourite subject is history,

i absolutely love pasta my favourite shape so far is fussili (i wanna try every shape) i could as well devour an endless amount of tomatoes i love them

my favourite animals are sharks(obviously) and ferrets (no ferret emoji :( )

favourite film rn either the black phone or lego batman (runner ups are legally blonde, whitechicks, jujutsu kaisen 0, or warm bodies)

love heights but HATE spiders… and the nun… from the nun… IDK WHY… they make me panic

and im going to greece for two weeks on tuesday so i might not be that active but i will try!!

~ the best 🦈 in existence

Hellooooo darlinggg!!! 💕💕💕 How's my favourite anon doing?! 🥰🥰🥰

Thank you so so much!! I'm so happy w/the tests results honestly :"")💕💕 And about the moving: oh yes, it's definitely stressing as hell! Besides, idk why but we are surrounded by inepts, as bad as that sounds, so things are so hellingly stressing for us! But besides that, things are going well for us 🥰🙏

Oohh I love these!! I love getting to know people better and letting people know about me as well! 😄 I swear I love these so much lmao –

(also, we've got a few things in common!! yayy!! ^_^ <33)

1 ) I'm currently studying: Genetics, chinese medicine, and all things related to forensics & criminology! I've liked forensics since I was very little, so all of my studying focus is currently on that 😊 I also like chemistry & science in general

2 ) Favourite colours are black, blood red, and baby blue, but mostly black! I wear it as much as possible 🥴

3 ) Favourite animals are crows/ravens and cats! They are both so enigmatic and smart, I just simply love them <3 We have some beautiful cats at my home, so the only thing I need w/me is a crow😂

4 ) My most favourite movies are: the Dark Knight trilogy, and also Dirty Grandpa. I've seen all of these with my dad and they became my absolute favourite!

5 ) We've got in common the love for pasta! ahhhh 😆 I like Rigatone w/cream & kale 🤭🤭 Also, I have an endless love for bacon hamburgers :"p

6 ) I can say I'm a bit of a coward, bc I fear many things 😅 I absolutely can't stand spiders, nor heights, nor very deep water, I fear of being abandoned, and also darkness (only when I'm all by myself)

And here a couple of random facts about me!:

7 ) Between my dad and my mum, I resemble more my dad, not only physically but as well in many other aspects (personality trait, constantly cursing, accidentally breaking good/useful things...etc) 😅 And I heard that many times in my life, also often. (i wish i had his beautiful blue eyes though)

8 ) I can speak German (native language), English, and Spanish (because my mum's native language is Spanish). I love learning new languages! I'm currently looking forward to learning Italian, Portuguese, Japanese/Chinese, Romanian, Turkish, Russian, and many other!

9 ) My favourite bands/singers are Rammstein, OOMPH!, Radiohead, Garbage, Björk, & Marilyn Manson.

10 ) My favourite show of all time is Law & Order: SVU, and also Gotham 💕

Sorry if I git a bit carried away!! I love getting to know people better and also, allowing anyone who's curious to ask me random things about me :) ❤❤ I love these type of discussions tbh!!

Also, Greece is so incredibly beautiful and astonishing!! My mum loves it! I'd be thrilled to hear your experience there and more about your trip!! 🥰❤❤ I'm gonna miss you tho :((

(p.s; i received your requests and i'm already working on them!

also, what you mentioned about Frankenweenie in one of your reqs: it was a shocking discovery for me too when i found out that Charlie Tahan voiced the main character!! I found out on May and boy was i surprised. It unlocked memories for me bc It reminded me of when Frankenweenie came out and i was a little girl and saw it with my parents and it made me cry omg :(

aaaand another side note; this reminds me i personally can't believe i've seen Charlie Tahan in so many movies and shows throughout my life and never noticed him until i found out about Scarecrow in Gotham and re-watched the show ._.)

[the-ship-maker-2]

Hello. Thank you so much again for doing thi Creepypasta match up for me, I'm really grateful for that. So, here's my info ;

Im Gabriela, but they call me Gabby, Luna, Gabbs or Gabika. I'm 17 years old girl from Slovakia 🇸🇰, I am Libra, 5'9 ft tall and I'm only child.

I have brown-green eyes, dirty blonde hair to my shoulders, I'm tall and slim and I have cute little freckles all across my cheeks and nose. I love to work out daily. I have black glasses. Yep, I'm a nerd 🤓

I have Russian accent since childhood because I am half Russian and half Slovak. Slovak and Russian are my native so I speak perfectly in these languages obviously.

My personality type: ENFP

I don't give my trust down so easily. I would avoid everyone and I won't speak to them but when they won't give up on me, we can be friends.

I am an introvert, shy, empathetic, cooperative, short tempered, impulsive, nerdy, smart, logic, hotheaded, very quiet and 100% honest person and I am natural born leader. Leadership is my biggest skill. I am focused, determined and I have an excellent memory.

I am a deep thinker and I analyze everything around me. I think differently from the rest and I like it. I don't like being a center of attention and I don't like to bring attention on my person so I tend to listen and analyze every single thing about a person or than to talk about myself. I'm rebelious and cute. I give this "pop-punk princess" vibe

My style: I always have my hair up in a bun on top of my head with my headband or in a ponytail. I love to wear dark clothes than light ones but I can wear light ones when I'm in school. I love to wear chokers, rings, bracelets and I ALWATS wear my heart shaped bracelet with a G in that heart. It's my lucky charm. I always wear mascara and some Dark eyeshadow. Mostly blue, light blue, purple or black.

Music is my life. I love to sing and dance and I have always my black headphones on. I love to play on my guitar or piano and I enjoy acapella singing.

I am a huuuuge bookworm. I love to read everything, from smut to Enemies to lovers and from horror books to thrillers and romance and comic books. My favorite genre of music is Pop, Rock and rock and roll and of course, Russian music.

I'm very creative and artistic person. I love to draw and paint but I mostly draw and walls in my home are covered with paintings with a few photos of my family.

My fav songs are Do you Don't you by Haywyre, Genius by Sia, Muddy watters by LP and Great balls on fire.

I have breakdowns cause of my grandpa, he died 4 years ago and it's so painful for me.

That's All!! Thank you so much !!❤️❤️❤️. Have a good day or night.

I match you with....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Clockwork/Natalie Ouellette

She loves to work our with you and takes pride in being fit and active and she adores your nerdy pop punk princess vibes.

If clockwork really wants to be with you and befriend with you Nothing will stop her she'll keep coming back no matter how many times you push her away. Like that one Simpsons meme.

begs you to teach her Slovak and Russian.

Natalie is very good with hairstyles contrary to popular belief. She'll play with your hair if you let her. she fucking lives for your style and aspires to be like that. She'll ask about your thoughts and have philosophical conversations with you. She likes learning other people's viewpoints and how your brain works. Clockwork will steal buy books for you even the really smutty ones she is also a sucker for enemies to lovers. Whatever you do mention that catches your eye she'll get it for you even if you just mention it in passing. But I HC her favorite book to be the book thief. She will either read with you in weird positions or have you read to her. She adores being read to. Clockwork will sing and dance with you anywhere and anytime you want especially on date nights. or at ungodly hours of the night. She loves being dramatic and having fun and being goofy with you. She's not picky with music she can vibe to anything so you always have the pick of the music. Also, the artsy type to she used to be wicked good at drawing and painting shes a little out of practice now but ever since she met you you have inspired her to make and create again. You are her music and she admires that you're so family-orientated. Clockwork understands what it's like to lose people so she's very sensitive on the topic. However, she will put her own feelings aside and comfort you and be your shoulder to cry on. Overall you have found a true ride or die.

[derivativealigner]

Well I haven’t watched sp all the way through for about a decade now, so I thought it was time

Sometimes I wonder how accurate the fandom is when it comes to how we interpret the characters. Like, why is Stan a football star so often in fanfic and why’s Kyle always the smart one? So I thought I’d rewatch the show and make notes along the way to see where the source of all these interpretations is. I also wanted to see if I could get some fun info to analyze, but season 1 is pretty sparse in that regard so there’s not too much of that in this post, but I’ll make a post for all the other seasons too as I watch them

In summary, it’s established in season 1 already that Stan’s a star quarterback and an animal lover, Kyle’s an A+ student, and Kenny is poor and knows a lot about sex and doesn’t have many qualms about doing crazy shit. Cartman is a bit weird since he’s mostly just a naive brat in this season, but he and Kyle have a mildly antagonistic friendship already

I have all my notes under this cut. They include a bunch of small details and other observations. I also listed every Kenny death just because

Ike has freckles

Cartman says “Weak!” and “You guys” and “Seriously” a lot from the start, also “Kickass!” He doesn’t say weak or kickass much in the later seasons iirc

Stan says “Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here” three times in this season but they dropped that catchphrase pretty quickly

Bebe got named in episode 2

Stan’s been an animal lover since s01e03 Volcano since he won’t shoot a bunny or anything else. He does shoot Scuzzlebutt at the end though

Cartman’s a pathological liar but in a childish way

Randy got named in s01e03 Volcano (and it only got worse from there)

The mayor went to Princeton

South Park is next to Mt. Evanson

Kenny will literally drink gasoline

Stan’s a star quarterback in 3rd grade

Clyde’s voice is wrong as hell in S01E04 Big Gay Al’s Big Gay Boat Ride and he has a dog, Rex

Garrison says Kyle is an A+ kid

Shelly seriously abuses Stan, punching him, throwing him, maiming him with a lawnmower

Cartman had a pot-bellied pig called Fluffy

Cartman’s mom smokes crack and has sex with strange men

Dr. Mephesto is probably a Buddhist since he says “Thank Buddha” instead of “Thank God”

Clyde’s voice gets kind of fixed in S01E06

A guy called Mr. McCormick is killed in a protest, launched and splattered against a network building. He doesn’t look like Kenny’s dad though

Zombie Clyde attacks Bebe, rude

Wendy gave her costume contest prize (2 tons of candy) to hungry children in Nairobi

Cartman’s mom is on the cover of Crack Whore magazine. “Back do’ ho… Five on one action!” is the headline

Cartman genuinely cries at Kenny’s grave after the whole zombie thing but gets over it because of candy

Stan knows his mom’s credit card number and has no problem using it to adopt an Ethiopian child (the boys wanted a watch that came with the adoption, they weren’t doing it to be nice)

Cartman calls Stan a vas deference, Stan doesn’t know what that is so Kenny says “Dude, it’s a pipe for your peepee” (according to a transcript). Kenny sure knows male anatomy

Kyle sniffs Kenny after Cartman asks why poor people smell like sour milk and Garrison says “idk eric they just do”

Cartman thinks poor people should die and decrease the surplus population

When the boys get Starvin’ Marvin delivered to them, Cartman says “Hey mom, we found an Ethiopian, can we keep him?” and his mom says “Sure, hun.” She rarely says no to Cartman

Kenny’s dad is an alcoholic who drinks scotch according to Cartman. I mean, Mr. McCormick is seen drinking in multiple episodes and has a hat that says SCOTCH so it’s probably true

Kenny’s family says grace

Craig’s first appearance is S01E09. Also, S01E09 is the first time Kenny doesn’t die (Coincidence? I THINK yeah but it’s still fun)

Clyde got named in S01E10

Clyde and Bebe both spit on Pip’s face, friendship goals <3

Cartman and Kyle have their first fight at Cartman’s birthday party because Kyle didn’t give the right gift. Cartman slaps his face and  screams “I hate you! I want you to die! Die!” while on top of Kyle who’s not really fighting back

Satan throws a fight with Jesus after everyone except Satan bet that Jesus would lose, which leads to Satan winning everyone’s money. Mr. Garrison says “What a mean thing to do!” and Jimbo says “He is a jerk!” and I thought it was quite a laugh so I wrote it down

In S01E11 Tom’s Rhinoplasty Bebe and Wendy are sitting in the swings together and generally appear together throughout the episode, then Bebe gives Wendy a makeover so they’re bffs obviously <3

Craig first appears in the classroom, though not sitting down, in S01E11

Wendy’s not happy about Ms. Ellen taking Stan away from her, she says “Don’t fuck with me! Stay away from my man, bitch, or I’ll whoop your sorry ho ass back to last year!”

Kenny gives Ms. Ellen a scrumptious looking sausage as a valentine’s gift and giggles deviously. Wendy’s gift to Ms. Ellen is a dead animal

Even Kenny doesn’t know what a lesbian is

Wendy’s grandma died in S01E11

Wendy gets Ms. Ellen killed by hiring the Iraqi government (?) to put her in a rocket and shoot it into the sun, then she and Bebe have a pool party (very cool, they wear sunglasses 😎) and watch the rocket hit the sun

Cartman and Pip play a game of kicking each other in the nuts until someone falls. Cartman calls it “Roshambo”

Kenny has a sack of marbles

The boys aren’t fans of Barbra Streisand, but Stan is a fan of the Denver Broncos quarterback John Elway (he’s not a quarterback anymore, he’s an American football executive and the president of football operations for the Denver Broncos of the NFL according to wikipedia.)

Officer Barbrady is a fan of Fiona Apple (who was 20 at the time and had only one album released called Tidal)

Ned knows how to pilot a helicopter

Kyle’s mom is a fan of Streisand unlike literally everyone else, she even gets an autograph from Mecha Streisand

The boys are fans of Robert Smith, the lead singer of The Cure. Stan says “Robert Smith is the greatest person that ever lived!” and Kyle says “Disintegration is the best album ever!” and Cartman says “Robert Smith kicks ass!” and Kenny’s dead so he doesn’t get to have an opinion

Cartman has tea parties with his toys: Polly Prissypants, Clyde frog, Peter Panda, and a dragon called Rumpertumskin

Kyle wants to make fun of Cartman for the tea party but Stan stops him because he’s concerned that Cartman needs help

Craig is in front of the school counselor’s office in S01E13

A young miss Cartman drinks like a motherfucker at the 12th annual drunken barn dance where Cartman was supposedly conceived

Stan lets Cartman borrow his bike like a good friend

Garrison wanted to have a threesome with Chef and Cartman’s mom. I don’t know why I’m making a note of this but uh… yeah.

Cartman’s mom has had sex with everyone at this bar that Garrison’s drinking at, including principle Victoria, the mayor, Father Maxi, and Jesus (and maybe Kenny’s dad since he’s at the bar but the camera doesn’t pan to him when Garrison says they’ve all slept with Liane). Later Gerald Broflovski is a possible father to Eric, so he fucked her too. Also Mr. Mephesto and his friend Kevin, that little guy, are candidates along with a lot of other people, including the 1989 Denver Broncos (and Mr. Tenorman is included in that later)

Cartman doesn’t make fun of Kyle for being Jewish much at all in this season even though the Christmas episode is all about Kyle not celebrating

Clyde and Token appear very early on and Clyde has always been in the classroom (along with Bebe, Red, Kevin Stoley, Wendy, and Pip and uhh DogPoo too I think). Craig appears later in the season and Tweek’s not in season 1 at all, so Craig’s gang isn’t really a thing yet

And here’s a list of the ways Kenny died in this season. He dies in every episode except episode 9, and he dies twice in episodes 2 and 3. Altogether he dies 14 times

S01E01 Killed after alien shoots him, cows stampede over him, then cop runs him over which finally actually kills him

S01E02 Killed in a play by a falling teepee, then a second time shot by Garrison which sends him in the air and he gets impaled on a flagpole on the way down

S01E03 Killed by a volcano rock that burns him then rolls on him but he’s alive again in the end but gets shot by Ned’s gun that he drops and it accidentally goes off

S01E04 Gets his arms and head torn off in an American football game

S01E05 Stan’s clone punches Kenny into a microwave where he gets cooked alive

S01E06 Death touches Kenny

S01E07 Kenny gets crushed by a Russian space station and turns into a zombie because he gets Worcestershire sauce in his veins, then Kyle chainsaws zombie Kenny in half, then zombie Kenny rises from his grave and is crushed by a statue and a plane

S01E08 Kenny is killed by a bunch of turkeys. His eye gets plucked out. It’s dark blue

S01E10 After Kenny gets turned into a duck-billed platypus, Jimbo and Ned shoot him

S01E11 Ms. Ellen throws a sword through Kenny’s face

S01E12 While Mecha Streisand and a giant robot Leonard Maltin fight, Kenny plays with a tetherball and gets the rope wrapped around his neck and it strangles him

S01E13 Kenny gets stuck on a go kart and it drags him around but stops and he’s still alive! Too bad the go kart stops on train tracks and a train runs him over. Stan’s grandpa sends a video of the event to America’s Stupidest Home Videos and wins $10,000

If you read all that, first of all hello. I’m not new to the fandom even though this is the first thing I’ve posted on this tumblr blog. I’ve been writing a fanfic called Caffetamine though so I’m not a complete non-entity. Anyway, I’ll watch season 2 soon and post my notes on that too probably.

[the-acid-pear]

I just can't get enough it seems, time to start the next Baki the Grappler book!

It seems that this one will take on the saga i saw on the anime (at least by the end) so that's exciting

Chapter 1

First off quality is SHIT lmao

Yesss i remember this. I still think that shit about everyone trembling is a lil... Mmmm bullshit.

Baki be like <:] but in a smug way

Look at Tokugawa my man

OH RIGHT HE LEFT THE TOURNAMENT WITH A CAST

This feels so random

Oh right the synchronicity shit

Baki is so -_- in this manga

Look at the old timer go

YEAH FR TOKUGAWA JUST BROUGHT EXPLOSIVES TO A SCHOOL FULL OF CHILDREN TO MAKE A SHITTY ANALOGY SHSHWKWGGE FREAK OLD MAN

Chapter 2

Ahegao

Epic grandpa

HO NICE

Mf really swam thru the Pacific ocean

Chapter 3

Huh i thought he was Scottish

This random guy was pretty interesting looking, the one executing Doyle

Fucked up shit how they still do this stuff

King, i can somehow still remember his voice in particular fsr

Also since no one reads this i will say it: Doyle does NOT look white ahagdbafhsdbc

I like that he didn't bother killing the doctor

Is that Strydum? 🥺👉👈

Chapter 4

Shagddjd i was going to say that, this dude could have easily taken a different path from violence

GAARN? MY MAN? MY BELOVED GARLAND? IS HE ALIVE STILL?!

FFS NOT FOR LONG HHH LOOK HOW THEY MASSACRED MY BOY...

I mean it's fair, Sirkosky uses weapons, but man, Garland... :'/

This all hits so different once you know the characters :]]]

Chapter 5

That pic is still so brutal

What an absolute troll shsshwgxgd

Also fun fact when i watched the anime i didn't pay much attention at first so I assumed the Russian was Spec (i didn't even know Sirkosky's name)

I love how that was unnecessary shagdhsr

ADAGDFAGAFAD this guy was also great

Spec was fucking insane man aggsggahsfg

I love he's full of tattoos

The absolutely king

OH RIGHT Spec is sus *laugh track*

Chapter 6

Oh hell yeah, grandpa's ex

Baki tf you doing there in the cover you madlad

...bottom storage.

THEY ARE SO MEAN LEAVE HIS SHORT ASS ALONE SHSGJSGS

He's my size btw

Was there a motive for him to be naked or was he just a freak btw?

I love the shape of his eyes ngl

I love how scared the guards are while he just calmly rambles

I don't wanna call yanagi my grandpa because i think yanagi can get it and it would be like calling him daddy but the Gilf™ is Dorian man life is so hard when you are me

I love Yanagi's face lol he's handsome

Chapter 7

Poor Baki lmao he just got better from the maximum tournament and now this

Lmao Baki has a point

Unnecessary, Doyle

Chapter 8

I love how they were recruiting dangerous mfs to beat up this random guy bc his vibes are fucked up

This guy looked a lot like jack

You gotta be brave to shove a knife that sharp into your pants

I love how Baki literally did nothing to em

Baki's face just looks wrong this isn't my beloved child

Imagine you are about to fight this mf and he just shoves his hand inside his pants

Chapter 9

This dude really looks like, fully japanese jack hanma

JWGWKEGWKSGE I LOVE HIM

I love how Spec just showed up dressed up as a fucking monk or something

Chapter 10

You guys know, Dorian reminds me of my now dead great grandfather, with the moustache look even more.

Not impressed, 15 yo Hanayama did the same when throwing a tantrum

He's so insane i luv him

Okay but look at the cut of that outfit look at how well it hugs his chest and waist but flows bellow... Spec my dude you could have been a mad good model 😐 he's even giving me gender envy! 🥺

I love how Baki used both his hands for the handshake

Chapter 11

Ho, speak of the devil, i was just talking of this fucker with Blood

Mf got so old

I like how there was no motive for him to be naked he literally is just Like That

Also it's from here that he got that wasp waist lmao

Mf just flexing at this point lmao

GRANDPA!! <3

Yanagi got cake

That's so unnecessary rude, obsessed. Also, as if you weren't old Yanagi. I see why they broke up now ;/

Chapter 12

11 and 12 are the same fsr

Chapter 13

I honestly wonder where these prisoners got their clothes, like, aside from Doyle that one time everyone else is never shown shopping or even owning money

Also i love the fact that on a daily basis i dress the same as Spec, that definitely says something bout me jagsjsgwhwfwg 😭

To be honest, considering the size of Spec's body, they should definitely feed him more

He didn't wash his hands 😢

Dick and balls too strong ajgshsgsg

I love how fucking, polite he is.

Oh i see, i thought he might have stolen a wallet or something but nah

Btw i genuinely don't remember shit JAGSKSGWJGS even if it watched the anime i forgot most of this

Chapter 14

GOD the way the anime butchered Katsumi, he's so handsome in the manga in comparison 😐

Also i like how they aren't explaining this like, Katsumi was the one who lost, did he wait until Retsu was okay to fight again in HIS ("") dojo?!

RETSU STOP DOING THESE SORT OF TRICKS THAT'S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE AJDGSJSG

HE'S JUST BUILT DIFFERENT

Okay he actually explained, oddly nice of Retsu to accept tho

Hoho this scene hits different now that i know and like Katsumi

Also I'm not even gonna question where Doppo is, dude is never just around skdgksgd

Chapter 15

I love this genre of cover

WHITE BOY SJDGSJGSHS-

I love that retsu is just watching, he's still an asshole QJGSJSGWH

If i didn't know Katsumi I would say he died

I did actually think he had died when watching the anime

Retsu still has his thicc ass i see

Chapter 16

See all this makes sense now that i know retsu and the shit he has seen and been thru!

Angry lad, lucky his hair didn't burn

I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE HE EXTINGUISHED THE FIRE WITH HIS SCREAM

Chapter 17

Ahegao in the cover

I'm looking at the pages and I'm obsessed with Doppo being described as a "bold, badass karate master", it's so accurate <3

Also Igari being called eccentric, and the mention he defeated Mount Toba!! <3

Baki is slowly looking more like Baki

"my mother is dying"

Tasks keep failing successfully

Chapter 18

mAh boy...

That happens and it's the worst

Musashi you good boy 🥺

Chapter 19

Igari <33

That's insane

Chapter 20

I love that Igari looks legitimately worried and sad, not sweating tho

I love how he didn't have any serious damage until the punches like, okay.

Poor Igari tho

DID HE CHEW EM OFF OR SOMETHING? SHSHWGEGCH

Was anybody going to tell me is Sikorsky and not Sirkosky?

Also i love how legitimately scared Tokugawa is, probably more than when Yujiro picked him up

Chapter 21

The heights are so off in this saga

Oh my fucking god i didn't know Spec was 221

Either heights are all over the place or Yanagi is not 160

Either way HOW CAN YOU BE THAT SMALL? 🤣

GAFSFWEAD Tokugawa like "i own this place 😐"

Doyle is still the most decent one of the bunch

URSURSUTSUSTSRU

LOOK AT YANAGI DORIAN AND SIKORSKY ALREADY GETTING THEIR HANDS READY SBDGSHW

I googled how big Andreas from the tournament was and like, 2.40 😦

LET'S GOOOOO EVEN WITH A BEARD OMFG 😳😳😳

I see Hanayama descended into alcoholism after losing in the tournament. Also tf is with that bag? Was he hiking or something?

Jsgsjsgd Shibukawa is so excited too

I think this is chronically the first time Doppo appears with fully casual clothes, usually he either was in a suit or in his karate uniform

I'm straight up simping to the public now sgsjsgwhw

Chapter 22

LOOK AT THESE DUDES..... 💞

FUCK I WAS GONNA SAY THERE WERE MORE BAD THAN GOOD GUYS THEN LOOKED DOWN AND REALIZED THAT NO, SHIBUKAWA WAS JUST NEARLY OUT OF FRAME 😭

They all look so upset about that information

SIKORSKY NAME GOT SPELLED AS SILCOSKI...

Looking at them drives me insane i developed such a bond with all these fighters

I haven't seen Doppo this excited since last time his wife showed up

BAKI SWEARING?! 😰

How did Tokugawa grab Baki's shoulder?

ALSO WHY TF IS BAKI SO SURPRISED AS IF HE DIDNT GO AROUND BEATING UP PEOPLE WHEN HE WAS 13...

Don't worry Baki y'all will, Tokyo is not that big it seems

Shibukawa swearing 😨

"Imagine being mid but and Spec pulls up on you" "imagine having sex and she takes the mask and it's fucking Spec"

To be fair i would fuck a 2.21 muscular lady without going "hmmm this doesn't seem like a good idea..." in any moment

Chapter 23

I love how Dorian is just looking up

ACTUALLY ALL THEIR STANCES, Yanagi making dead eye contact with Gouki, Sikorsky with a firm pose just as Hanayama, Doyle with hiss chest up but eyes down giving a sense of pride, and, well, then there's Spec being Spec.

I like seeing Sikorsky having fun

I love Spec he played so smart SGSGSGS

😳 love wins!

Oh i had already forgotten about the dojo

Old man Dorian just has that effect on people

Threesome i see /j

He really was just fucking hiking i would love if they ever explained that ough 🥺

Did his facial hair just disappear?? STSGSFSD

BWHEKEGWJG THEY REALLY JUST FORGOT TO ADD IT FOR ONE PANEL IM OBSESSED

Such a good kick tho

The relationship these men can have is so oddly nice like not Doppo and Retsu specifically but all of the fighters in general. Like many of them barely know each other, but they all know their fighting styles and respect each other, plus have no reason to be in bad terms with one another and specially not now that they are all fighting for the same cause. It's just so nice to see em idk JAGSHS

Hey Igari.

Chapter 24

Thank God Doppo went <3 again it had been so long

Babe are you okay? You hadn't put a lil heart in your speech bubble for a while...

King really punched the fire

I will chose to believe that's true bc it's impressive 😍

You know it's funny like, Katsumi is mad good but he doesn't has as much experience as his dad and that leaves him in disvantage

Hehe i remember that guy

The manga is so much better than the anime ffs

I love that he didn't even realize

Chapter 25

Manga i don't think that's science

Also Baki just chilling with some doves lmao

I'm looking thru old messages see how my og reaction to this was

Huh i found nothing, that's odd. Well my reaction would have probably been like NOOOOO anyway so, y'all can imagine it

You left my dilf handless you fucking asshole good thing he has a wife

Imagine this dude cuts your hand and then just flexes his knowledge about science or whatever

HSSGGSFS THEY FIXED THE NO BEARD ERROR

Illiterate king <3

A guy did this to me once btw!!! Obviously in way smaller scale but he just touched something and the bleeding soon stopped!!!!

Honestly that's the most huge dick energy thing Doppo has ever done

Pfff I'm starting to remember why i liked Doppo so much 🥴

Bitches confused over him running away, tf was he supposed to do? He played it smart since there are no rules

Though yeah an eye and NOW a hand, insane

Chapter 26

Sjshhdhsn tanuki?

Oh, fox, he was calling him slick

Manga is pretty faster than the anime

Chapter 27

Where's your honor, Igari...

He is right sadly enough 😔

Oh i keep forgetting Igari's nature, he was probably trying to pull his silly little tricks again

This is just brutal honestly

Hehe this time i didn't get scared ☺️

I like that at least I'm not the only one who needs their mind off the gutter

Chapter 28

Love seeing em datin <3

He's so aggressive accidentally i love these dorks sm 😍🥺💞

SPEC FFS SJGDHWGW

Chapter 29

SPEC FOR FUCKS SAKE SJSVSJWGSH

Hanayama is such a real bro man

I LOVE THAT HE WAS JUST STALKING BAKI TOO BTW SJDGJDGDHSBDGDGS

To think i will still love hanayama but for entirely different reasons 😌

Chapter 30

Kaoru looks different but idk how

What the fuck is Spec even saying?

The fact that that makes no sense, i still love it a lot tho.

ALSO I ADORE HOW QUIET HANAYAMA IS WHEN FIGHTING

Okay Spec really has a point it really is beautiful

GOD I'M STARTING TO UNDERSTAND THESE CHARACTERS TOO MUCH I NEED HELP AJDGSJSGSHS 😭

But it's beautiful in the sense like, look how built he is! Look at all those scars!!! It IS beautiful it's a masterpiece!!!!!!!

"i choose to believe this is how hanayama always undresses" KSHSKDGSJ THE AMOUNT OF SUITS THIS MAN DESTROYS.. OBSESSED

Though yeah Hanayama in general is also beautiful isn't he?

Chapter 31

I would sob man look at him. Look at Shiba.

NO ONE RISKS HIS LIFE MORE THAN SHIBA YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE I STILL HOLD A LOT OF RESPECT FOR HIM!

A BENCH...

I really don't get why he's letting himself get hit, is he just flexing?

I cannot way to see him do his Technique ™

Chapter 32

Manga is so much superior to the anime, like, i haven't complained about Spec even once bc he isn't annoying anyone, in the anime he was so infuriating!!

I love when they just steal their standing poses sjsgjssgsh

That distortion effect so good

Chapter 33

I still think it's weird they used humans and not machines, though it was effective

I love how Spec managed to punch that statue without calling the attention of much people that's impressive

And i love that he keeps saying man he sounds like me with bro

Hanayama my beloved

Chapter 34

Yeah I'm not reading all that 😐

Oh this explains the holes in his clothes

[shinymooncolor]

For my fellow Sweater Weather fans ❤️ @lumosinlove - thank you!

Kudos to @frombeauxbatons for helping me with Finnish.

@wxlfstxrx and @siriuslyqueer love youuu 💕

Sweater weather chats #10

The team goes to Vegas. Kris gets a new phone. Olli speaks Finnish. Remus and Sirius are in their honeymoon phase. The team dads ship it. Kasey gets cuddles. Logan gets lost. Leo is mad. Everyone bets on Sergei. Dumo is not a fan of Russian cheering during sex. Will we ever find out about Prague?

Wednesday 9.22 pm

Eliascookie: eyyy fucking love wifi in the air. 🤪

Dumodad: shhh someone is trying to nap and you guys are loud 🥴

Logantremblayzzz: sorry grandpa. Not all of us are old and cranky.

Sergei_81: careful I fight people for you

CarbO’Hara: and we love you dearly for that. But no denying you and dumo are old and cranky. You could literally both be Leo’s dads

Ollibear: he looks more like sunny and sergei’s baby than dumo’s

Blizzard: ohhh a love triangle 🙊😳

Sunnysideup: as much as I love sergei, I wouldn’t get between him and dumo. They’re the bromance of our gen :) also not my type

Kaneyoudigit: yeah. Where does that butt slap come from anyways? Even when one of them is out or injured they find time for that 👻

Bradygunz: I don’t think anyone understands it... where does it come from? Something about Prague - Allison was super cagey about it.

Dumodad: shhhh let us sleep. Night boys. Got another few hours and practice tomorrow is not optional. Sleep.

Nadotheman: VEGAS BABY

Krisvolley: practice and a game Nado.

RussianGod: DONT be boring krissy

——

Friday 12.33 pm

Remus created a group chat

Remus added Dumo, Sirius, Sergei, Sunny and Krissy

Remus named group chat HELP

Remus: okay boys. Sorry for this but I’m a little worried. We’re in Vegas and with a whole day of no games and only practice tomorrow once we touch down in LA, I can’t keep an eye on the entire team.

Dumo: haha dont worry go have a nice date with cap. God knows he’s cranky enough that you were away for that course for three days.

Sunny: don’t worry I sleep with ear plugs anyways 😜

Remus: hey we have separate rooms!

Krissy: wE hAvE sEpErAtE rOoMs....... it’s ok remmy 😉 cap plays better after you do whatever it is you do.

Sirius: alright stop. I wasn’t cranky. And leave Remus alone. You’re supposed to be the mature ones. Also Krissy?

Krissy: yes. I got a new iPhone and made the mistake of asking timmers and Olli to help me set it up on the plane. Now I can’t get it to change back. They set it to Finnish. Have no fucking clue and haven’t managed to get hold of Olli yet. 😳😳😳😳

Sergei: cap and re go enjoy honeymoon we take care of babies

Sunny: 😜😜😜😜😜 enjoy it while it lasts. Before you know it’s chores, babies and using alone time to catch up on sleep

Dumo: yeah. Don’t take your blissful kid free life for granted. 😈

Krissy: didn’t Logan and the other two walk in on your guys doing it in the kitchen last month?

Dumo: so?

Sergei: haha just kitchen? I’ve caught them worse. Is ok. You understand when you have babies. 😆

Krissy: I have a baby. I’m just single 😫😫😫

Sunny: want us to find a girl for you?🤓

Krissy: no thank you. Leave my sex life alone.

Sergei: u even have one?

Krissy left the group chat

Dumo added krissy to the group chat

Dumo: Sergei is sorry......... also he walked in on us maybe 5 times calm down. There’s nothing like Russian cheering to kill a mood....

Sunny: 5? That can’t be right. You were bunnies when she was pregnant last. I saw things I cannot unsee 🤯🤯🤯

Sirius left the group chat

Remus: you broke Sirius. Anyways I’ll leave the babysitting to you guys then.

Sunny: HAVE FUN REMUS 🥳🥳

——

Friday 2.54 pm

Logantremblayzzz: guys I’m lost. I’ve been walking towards that big pointy thing and the map from the hotel is crap and I got away from finn and he’s not picking up

*picture of map*

Blizzard: Logan.

Blizzard: THATS A MAP OF PITTSBURGH. WE’RE IN VEGAS. ALSO ITS UPSIDE DOWN.

Blizzard: how the fuck have you lived to see 23? 😆

Logantremblayzzz: oh. That makes more sense. 🙈🙈🙈

Newt-leo: what do you mean you lost Finn? Are you both lost somewhere in Vegas? Just use your phone and get back to the hotel...

Blizzard: Finn left his phone here in the room😂😂😂 better send out a search party

Logantremblayzzz: well I don’t know what happened. I can’t find him now. 😭

LeWilliam: There’s literally one strip of road in Vegas and you’ve gotten lost. 🐸

Dumodad: I swear to the fucking hockey gods we were never this stupid. Idiots. Get back here for 5, and we can go have a team dinner for those who want. Sergei is buying

Evanderbell: ohh @tylerthemighty and I are in!! Thanks @sergei_81!!!

Sunnysideup: he’s sleeping? Hahahah he’s gonna be unhappyyyy 😂

RussianGod: hehe thanks we’re play too...

Nadotheman: he means game. But yeah. Free dinner 😎

Prongstar: I think this one @logantremblayzzz has to go into the promo videos hahahahah 😂😂😂 I’m telling Marlene.... 😘

Ollibear: is anyone looking for Finn?

Newt-leo: yeah me and @krisvolley are going out now

——-

Friday 3.44 pm

CarbO’Hara: THANKS FOR DITCHING ME LOGAN

Logantremblayzzz: I was lost too! Not my fault you wander about

CarbO’Hara: I was talking to a puppy and when I got back up you were gone 😔 didn’t have my phone. Had to ask two Cher’s and an Elvis how to get back. 😫

Newt-leo: you’re back at the hotel now?

CarbO’Hara: yes. Forgot my phone.

Newt-leo: WELL THATS FUCKING GREAT. 😡

Walkietalkie: uhhh someone is in the dog house 😂😂😂

Nadotheman: bad fish... no goalie love for youuu

Blizzard: I can cuddle ya Finn. No worries. 😘😫😘

Logantremblayzzz: you’re not cuddling Finn. Go cuddle Nado if you need to.

RussianGod: come on blizzard. We do goalie sandwich 🥪🥪🥪🥪

Blizzard: gimme five minutes boysss 😍

Krisvolley: we’re heading back now. You’re paying for our cab Finn. Leo is really mad 😉

Friday 3.52 pm

Timmyforrealz: awww 😍

*nado and Kuny cuddling blizzard in a goalie sandwich*

Ollibear: there’s a lot of bromance in my room right now. 😂

Walkietalkie: at least they’re fully clothed. 🤞🏻

——

Friday 6.33 pm

Sergei_81: IM NOT PAYING FOR YOU All

Dumodad: yes you are. It’s your turn. 😘

Sunnysideup: u know it. It’s the deal. Shouldn’t bet if you can’t pay up.

Sergei_81: is thanks I get for fighting for you all.

Sirius: you keep bringing that up. But you love fighting for us. We love you for it 😜

Dumodad: haha cap’s got a point my friend. And you’re a glorious fighter. Haha your punches are feared through the league. Even the linesmen try to avoid getting between you and your victim

Nadotheman: you know there’s a bet in the league? First rookie to take you down gets a Rolex from a draw? Everyone chips in at draft? 😜

RussianGod: is true hehehe I put money in on never so I want watch

KrisVolley: was that an option? 😳 how did I not think of this

RussianGod: I’m smart just not in English. English stupid. Russian best 🥳

—-

Friday 9.33 pm

Ollibear: Mä oon niin ilonen mut mulla on ikävä kotiin. Mulla on ikävä muumeja.

Ollibear: Ja mun äitiä.

Ollibear: Tykkään myös tosi paljon pannukakuista.

Prongstar: Olli.exe stopped working…….

Sunnysideup: eh anyone’s got an eye on Olli? He’s defaulted to Finnish… 🙊🙊🙊

Dumodad: @timmyforrealzzz @nadotheman @russiangod

Dumodad: WHAT DID YOU IDIOTS DO NOW

KrisVolley: hahahaha Olli just had some shots. The waitress was making googly eyes at him and I guess he couldn’t say no 😆

Timmyforrealz: I think we should get him back to the hotel 😁😁😁

Nadotheman: not it!!!!

RussianGod: I got him. He dont walk

——-

“Kuny, he can’t even walk”

“I’m got him. He very drunk. Hehe not hold liquor well for Finn. Is embarrassing” Kuny snorted and hoisted his teammate more firmly over his shoulder.

“He owes me $100 for bribing the driver to take us”

“Sä oot hyvä venäläinen. Et ilkee venäläinen. Tunnen pahoja ja ilkeitä venäläisiä.”

“Any idea what he’s saying?”

“Not sure is even Finnish. Sound like just words”

[skarsgard-daydreams]

Voices Carry

Ch. 5: “Under Pressure”

[ Eins | Zwei | Drei | Vier | Fünf | Sechs | Sieben | Acht | Neun | Zehn | Elf ]

Description: Merkel accepts a job to smuggle a young woman out of East Berlin, and it turns out to be more than he bargained for.

Warnings: smoking, poor grasp of the German language, possible historical liberties

Notes: I want to kiss all of your beautiful faces for keeping me company the past few days and making my birthday ten times better. If you like this story, you might also like my Merkel drabble tag while waiting for the next chapter.

Irina smelled coffee percolating on the stove when she came into the living room, combing her fingers through her damp hair. She’d put on yesterday’s clothes and a thick oversized sweater that she dug out of Merkel’s dresser. If he complained about it, she would argue that it was his idea to bring her here without letting her pack a bag. The man in question was hunched in front of the refrigerator, digging out cold cuts, cheese, and tomatoes. His dark hair stuck out wildly in places and he had the same haggard look her father sometimes had when he’d been up all night writing and rewriting a troublesome passage in one of his plays.

The thought of her father made her stomach ice over as she imagined the kind of trouble he could be in. Irina tried to push it to the periphery of her mind, shuffling into the kitchen and pouring herself a cup of coffee. Maybe the hot drink would help with the chill that had settled over her bones, although she suspected that the cold feeling deep in her chest wouldn’t go away no matter how many cups she drank. “Danke,” she murmured, moving away from the stove. Merkel made a small hmm of acknowledgement and sliced the cheese and tomatoes with a sleepy, singular focus. Even though he seemed barely awake, he made quick work with the knife.

The coffee was much stronger than Irina was used to. She took small sips and watched Merkel retrieve a few eggs from a pot of boiling water on the stove and move the percolator to the table, performing the rehearsed actions by rote rather than with conscious thought. He piled the cold cuts, Emmentaler cheese, and slices of tomato on a plate and set it on the table with a crock of butter and some freshly baked brown rolls, then sank down into the chair opposite Irina. He gestured for her to eat something as he poured himself a cup of coffee, downing it in several huge gulps. It was all Irina could do not to laugh behind her own mug. After draining his cup, he raked a hand through his hair and furrowed his brows, staring at the sweater she was wearing, but he made no comment. Together they ate in comfortable silence until Merkel ran out of coffee and lit himself a cigarette, relaxing a little as he puffed on it.

“You’re coming with me today,” he said, breaking the silence at last.

“Where?” Irina asked. She reached across the table and took a cigarette from the pack as well. Although she rarely smoked, she needed the nicotine to calm her nerves and keep her mind from running ahead of herself. It wanted to wander toward the edge of the wall, where she knew there waited guard dogs and mine fields and barbed wire. Merkel struck another match and lit the cigarette for her, shaking his hand to put out the flame and saying nothing.

Irina took a drag and stared at him hard. If he thought she was going to come along with him like an obedient puppy, he was mistaken. Merkel quirked a brow, seeming amused by her intensity. Irritated, Irina folded her arms and narrowed her eyes. She was determined to sit here all day if she had to. But he only tapped his finger to his lips as though it was a secret.

“Merkel,” she said in a sharp tone that she usually used on unruly school children.

He leaned in slightly, looking her in the eye, something firm in his expression.

“Irina,” he said. “Trust me.”

~

There was something wrong with the Trabant.

Or at least, that’s what Merkel gathered when Bastian called and told him to bring the girl in so they could make a passport. They took the S-Bahn across town. As the train screeched through the tunnel, something set Merkel’s teeth on edge. He couldn’t place it. The hairs on his arm prickled and he became acutely aware of the knife hidden in his coat, the nerve-endings in his fingertips tingling as he primed himself to reach for it. He swept his gaze over the half-empty train car, littered with loose newspaper sheets and tagged with graffiti.

Irina stood close to him, studying the subway map on the wall that neatly snipped West Berlin from its center as though that part of the city had never existed. A man with a thick moustache and oversized glasses sat across from them, reading that morning’s edition of Neues Deutschland, while a woman nearby thumbed through the pages of a Russian novel. Even though she turned the page at regular intervals, her eyes weren’t moving back and forth. She was watching the train car from the periphery of her vision, just as he was.

Merkel thought quickly. He couldn’t tell if the woman was a Stasi informant, a foreign spy, or a fellow malcontent, but he didn’t want to find out. He would have to get off at another stop and try to lose her if she followed. The possibility of leading her back to the warehouse was not a risk he could take, especially when he knew Bastian and Sonja would be in the middle of prepping the materials for the three passports they needed to mint. And he had to do it while relying on Irina to remain level-headed. If he were a religious man, he would pray that she wouldn’t suddenly dig her heels in and demand to know what he was doing.

The sign at the end of the car flipped over. Merkel placed his left hand on Irina’s arm as though to steady her against the force of the decelerating train. She turned toward him, dark eyes searching his face. He squeezed her arm tightly to warn her that something was wrong even as he smiled. Irina smiled back.

Smart girl.

Merkel leaned down and murmured in her ear under the guise of ghosting his lips over her cheek. He could feel the heat of her face flushing under his lips.

“Do you trust me?”

He heard Irina’s breath hitch in her throat. She reached for his hand in silent reply, lacing her fingers with his.

“Good.”

@skrsgardspam @b-afterhours @flowers-in-your-hayr @bebetriste @bethskarsgard @xluvparis @bskarsgardlove92 @scuba-seamus @goblincxnt @dragsraksllib @upirs @stevesharrlngtons @jj-lynn21 @scxrsgxrd @lihikainanea​ @lostartcambar @dreamtherapy @grandpa-sweaters​ @hausofobsession​ @loomiz​ @walkxthexmoon​ @ladadada-da​ @emmyrosee​ @romangodfreyownsmyass​

[clarkewalling]

CLARKE WALLING ( FIVEL STEWART ) is an EIGHTEEN year old from BRISTOL, ENGLAND. SHE is known around the island as THE BOOKWORM because she is are SMART and UNDERSTANDING but can also be QUIET and NIAVE. SHE reminds of stacks of books, chipped black nail polish, baggy sweaters. [ AJ, 27, HE/THEY, EST ]

BASIC INFORMATION

NAME: clarke walling

NICKNAMES: arke (but don’t call her that unless you’re her brother), little wall

BIRTHDAY: march 23rd, 2002

AGE: 18

HOMETOWN: bristol, england

BIRTHPLACE: bristol, england

RELIGION: ashiest 

ETHNICITY: japanese, korean, chinese, scottish, & russian

NATIONALITY: british

EDUCATION: secondary school

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: recently single

SOCIAL CLASS: working

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS

HEIGHT: 5′5″

EYES: dark brown

HAIR: dark brown

BUILD: slender

DISTINGUISHING MARKS: freckles that cover her nose and cheeks, a large tattoo of geometric flowers that covers her bicep 

NOTABLE FEATURES: dimples and a kind smile

PHYSICAL DISABILITIES: n/a

ALLERGIES: seasonal allergies

PERSONALITY & BEHAVIOR

HOBBIES: reading, writing, watching anime with her brother

LIKES: books that suck you in that you can’t put down, oversized sweaters ramen but from an actual shop, perfectly curated spotify playlists to for background noise, sneaking out to sit on roofs in the middle of the night, cold rainy nights, warm tea

DISLIKES: loud busy spaces, bullies, people who are judge you before even knowing you, people who interrupt her while reading

QUIRKS: googling every question that pops into her head, chewing on her nails when nervous so her nail polish is always chipped

STRENGTHS: has a large amount of knowledge about most subjects, loyal once she knows you, good memory

WEAKNESSES: very introverted and has a hard time connecting with people

POSITIVE TRAITS: smart, determined, hardworking

NEGATIVE TRAITS:  quiet, reclusive, awkward

MENTAL DISABILITIES: anxiety

SHARE 5 FUN FACTS ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER

unlike her twin brother, clarke is very quiet and keeps to herself. she doesn’t have many friends and prefers to keep her nose in a book rather than talk to her classmates. the twins have dealt with years of bullying so she finds it easier to disappear into a story rather than fight them like her brother. 

when kian came out to her, she was obviously so supportive and had her own assumptions before he ever told her he was trans. but because of him living as his true self, it had her start to question her own identity. clarke is demisexual and identifies as queer. (she’d be a 5 on the fruity scale)

she’s read more books than she can count but can somehow remember everything that happens in them. she doesn’t have a favorite genre, always giving new books a chance, but her guilty pleasure is fantasy and being able to escape into a new world

she’s recently single (f in the chat). her partner who may or may not totally be a brigette lundy-paine fc, broke up with them a few weeks ago because they felt as if clarke wasn’t giving them enough of her time. little did they know that clarke and her brother where dealing with everything that lead up to them ending up on the trip. clarke didn’t fight for them knowing that it was a lost cause

clarke loves tea. not just in a british way. like, she really loves tea and will choose that over anything else any day of the week

WHAT WAS YOUR CHARACTER WEARING ON THE FLIGHT?

an oversized mostly brown grandpa sweater, it’s her favorite and she wanted to feel safe on the plane

underneath she’s wearing a white crop top tank top

black skinny jeans with holes in the knees that she roles up to be more like capris

black ankle socks

black and white high top converse

a silver necklace she bought herself with c&k engraved on a small circle charm

chipped black nail ploish

a black hair tie on her wrist

PLEASE LIST 3 PERSONAL ITEMS OF YOUR CHARACTER THAT WASHED UP ON SHORE

the complete poems by emily dickinson book like the pretentious gay that she is, she most definitely wanted to cry when she saw how wet it got in the crash but thankfully, it’s still readable 

a packet of her favorite earl grey tea because she didn’t trust that the retreat would have anything good to drink on her first night

her wallet. inside there’s some pound banknotes, a wallet multitool, her id and some random cards, and a picture of her and kian from last year

pintest 

[stargazer-sims]

Nosy Nuisance

"Iryna can feel the gaze of a nosy Sim. Were the binoculars really necessary?"