#your preferred blorbo
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#i cant imagine loving a character and not appreciating at least to a certain degree them being loved in canon only bc it's not by#your preferred blorbo#like you like evan buckley but it didnt make you at least the tiniest bit happy to see this guy he likes so much show up#to a wedding for him after a long grueling day of firefighting while still in his gear?#this is not even about bucktommy really like yall guys dont like that scene where taylor makes dinner for buck and tells him it's all#for him and buck feels so loved and appreciated in that moment?#i think it all boils down to my favs getting loved for me idk i cant imagine being so negative about something that makes my blorbo feel#loved and happy even if my preferred person to do that loving is someone else#gonna delete shortly
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have been feeling under the weather lately, so i daydreamed a silly nurse moon to take care of me
also couldn't decide which i liked better so i leave the choice to you, brave patient. which nurse will you choose?
#fnaf moon#fnaf dca#dca fandom#crab art#bright colours#digital art#do you prefer slim stockings#or jesterpants and a hint of exposed ankle?#sometimes instead of working or drawing the things you planned to draw#the best medicine is to draw the random brainrot in your head#regardless of the nonsense your silly little brain tries to fool you with#sometimes you just gotta go#rejoice#nurse moon be upon me#i have also dreamt of a personal trainer Sun#because the only way to heal my terrible relationship with exercise and my appearance#is to have a buff 7 foot something sun robot encourage me through it and call me “cute little thing”#scratch what i said earlier#the best medicine is blorbos#i'll draw personal trainer sun later i need to look up references
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Big Dumb Hot Cop & Effete Possibly Sociopathic Genius Consultant: A Manifesto
So it has recently come to my attention that this, my archetypal pairing formulation, has broken containment, probably because I've been flinging these terms around like a deranged person wielding a blunt instrument. Therefore it behooves me to explain what the hell I mean by all these adjectives, and who are some classic and contemporary examples of the idiots under discussion—who are by the way extremely in love with one another whether they realize it or not. (Don't you say "bromance." Don't you dare SAY that word to me.) I will use blorbo from my shows to illustrate.
I first realized that I am in fact a Big Dumb Hot Cop whisperer thanks to Chinese police procedural 猎罪图鉴 | Under the Skin (2022). Right away, it's very important to note that Big Dumb Hot Cop is NOT in fact all that dumb. He's only less intelligent IN COMPARISON to his Effete Slightly Sociopathic Genius Consultant, who is, as already stated, a genius. Big Dumb Hot Cop is in fact ruthlessly good at his job. He's driven, he obsesses about cases, he can walk into a crime scene and pick up on the one thing everyone else has missed. There is no suspect he cannot intimidate upon investigation. And he's even better when he's working with (or against, depending on what stage they're at) the genius consultant. They need each other, whether they're fighting or collaborating. They can only clear cases together.
Here are, then, police captain Du Cheng and his genius consultant, sketch artist Shen Yi, eyeing each other significantly as some witness is, I think, lying his face off? Honestly I can't even remember what's happening because the important thing here is their nonverbal communication. This is crucial for this pairing. They can think circles around each other without saying a word. Love that for them.
Effete Possibly Sociopathic Genius Consultant has two levels of Possibly Sociopathic. Most maddeningly of all, he has secrets. Sometimes many secrets. So at first, Big Dumb Hot Cop is going to think he's the criminal, or in some way involved in the wrongdoing. The second level is that he'll find Genius Consultant just worryingly, disturbingly good at predicting criminal behavior. And he will continue to be suspicious of him for exactly one or at most two episodes, until he's then swept off his big dumb feet by the rapidity and correctness of Effete Genius's deductions. There's nothing Big Dumb Hot Cop loves more than solving cases. Well, maybe beer. He also loves beer. Once he sees that Effete Consultant is useful, he'll do a 180º and stop complaining to his chief of police, and instead start demanding that Effete Consultant be his forever. He'll start hanging out in his office. He'll literally drag him to crime scenes by the wrist.
(And did I mention Effete Consultant must be very pretty? Did I mention that? He is lovely. Long, thin fingers to steeple while he thinks. Delicate features. Haunted dark eyes. Never sleeps. Shocking self-neglect. You may see where I am going with this.)
Another important attribute of Big Dumb Hot Cop: he's big. Or anyway strong, or a gifted fighter. Let's face it, he has to be, because Genius Consultant is going to be reckless with his own personal safety to the point of stupidity (now who's dumb, huh?). For example, consider another Chinese procedural, S.C.I. 谜案集 | S.C.I. Mystery (2018). Captain Bai Yutong is sort of impossibly physically talented (former fighter pilot! national sandu champion! runs over moving cars and then shoots at them, like some kind of weird urban biathlon!) and, like all good Big Dumb Hot Cops, his entire life is thrown upside down because he now has to drop everything to protect his effete consultant, criminal psychologist Dr. Zhan Yao, who's so careless with himself that in any another drama he would probably be driving Bai Yutong to drink. Thanks to the danmei on which SCI Mystery is based, however, we can safely assume Bai Yutong is taking it out on Zhan Yao in blow jobs.
Note that Bai Yutong is the cook, even though he's the gong, and that he moves in with Zhao Yan to "protect" him from...something, I can't ever remember what, and then just sort of forgets to move out again. For the length of the entire series.
I would argue that 镇魂 | Guardian (2018) is a procedural, even if it also has ghosts, a talking cat, snake lady, eerie dark energy that gets flung around like paintball splatters, and a whole bunch of other supernatural stuff that was not approved of by Big Red (it's based on a danmei of the same title by Priest, a novel which has been pulled from circulation for censorship). Further confusing matters, Zhao Yunlan isn't particularly Big or Dumb, nor is he even really a Cop, technically; but I'm claiming him for this genre not least because of his Effete (drop-dead gorgeous) Possibly Sociopathic (Chief Zhao thinks he's a suspect for a good third of the story) and Definitely Genius, Later Gangpressed into being a Consultant, chock-full of secrets Professor Shen Wei.
Once they finally team up, though, they do this genre/pairing proud. Why, there's nothing they can't solve except how to stay alive. Look at them here enjoying some fine nonverbal communication: "Oh my god, you're just like me—you too will fling yourself directly into bodily harm in order to save a clueless civilian. Okay this could be inconvenient for both of us. Also wow for a genetics professor you're really fucking built, do you lift my bro." (Yes. Yes he does lift.)
A final example: the cruelly short-lived 光渊 | Justice in the Dark (2023), which like Guardian is based on a danmei by Priest, 默读 | Silent Reading. I got baited into watching the eight (8) existing episodes by seeing a cut of Captain Luo Wenzhou taking on like forty guys with a champagne bottle, a pair of curtains, an axe handle, and a birthday cake, like some kind of cultivator. He's so big and hot, and he's so very dumb. He's also a cop, and ACAB (which is sort of the plot of Silent Reading); and Fei Du is possibly using him for his own nefarious ends (cf. possibly sociopathic and secretive). But underneath all of Fei Du's "I am the abyss, fear me, rawr!" scary posturing, like a puffed-up kitten, he's just a very pretty tender-hearted effete genius, and you can watch Luo Wenzhou melting, and practically pinpoint the exact moment when his whole heart flies out of his eyes and he decides: Yeah, okay, that's it for me. That one. The annoying little traumatized fuerdai with some kind of a death wish that I do not understand. I'll be throwing myself in front of bullets for him and/or cooking him dinner for the foreseeable future, thanks.
Priest is gonna mess with this dynamic of gong/shou caregiving and safeguarding, because that's what she does; but the fundamental beats are still there. Look at these ninnyhammers, just this second figuring out they're actually kind people who belong to each other.
Here they are confronting a suspect together. (You will notice the large butcher knife wavering in the foreground.) Luo Wenzhou, highly trained, nonetheless cannot de-escalate the situation. It takes a pretty playboy in an arm sling to come wandering into the room, and then, using his superb personal knowledge of what it's like to be traumatized to the point of insanity, getting the suspect to disarm. I just love the way they look at each other, incredulous (Luo Wenzhou) and mock-fascinated (Fei Du). If I ever meet the person who directed this scene I'm going to need to kiss them on the mouth.
Once you accept the gospel of Big Dumb Hot Cop and Effete Possibly Sociopathic Genius Consultant into your media-based life, you'll find it has many applications, not all of which have to be procedurals. Consider: characters from the Daomu Biji franchise, possibly (Hei Xiazi is the biggest dumbest hottest not-a-cop I've ever met). Leverage, in a weird OT3 way. Assorted combinations of Avengers. Teen Wolf fic, absolutely. Various Stargate incarnations. Several other Priest danmei, not only procedurals. Definitely Mysterious Lotus Casebook. Et cetera. (You're on your own with MXTX, though.)
This has gotten long and there are still so many nuances and features and wrinkles and problems with the theory that should be ironed out, but it'll have to do for now. I'll simply close by saying: yes, there is also a classic example and you already know exactly who it is.
#big dumb hot cop#effete possibly sociopathic genius consultant#a rubric for blorbo from your shows#you may use it if you like#or disagree with it if you prefer#or just yell at me#i don't mind#either way i'm kind of a dumb cop myself so#i won't take it personally if you hate this#under the skin#justice in the dark#镇魂 guardian#猎罪图鉴#S.C.I. 谜案集#s.c.i. mystery#光渊#mo du#默读#dmbj#盗墓笔记#and yes wait for it:#sherlock and john#watson and holmes#the original archetype of this pairing
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BEFORE & AFTER COLOURING CHALLENGE
i got tagged in this by @goodsirs a thousand years ago (literal) and i never actually ended up doing it, but now both @mirrorhouse and @a-s-t-a-r-i-o-n tagged me again so i took advantage of my freshly acquired 2160p opla files because god knows this show needs some heavy colour correction,,, thank you all so much for tagging me LOVEEE your work!!!!!!!!!
i never really know who to tag myself, but if you haven't already i'd love to see your versions @platoapproved @mellxncollie @sherrymagic @rotblut @nick-nellson and whoever happens to see this and might want to do it!!
#gifmaking#gif challenge#tagged in#*#this is my top four btw....... in order of preference#and it's just so funny to me. you can be sure i was NOT expecting helmeppo to be my number one blorbo#but alas#anyway. i feel like people often don't realize how much work goes into even the simplest of gifs#like none of these shows work as gifs without the stripping away of every single filter and the enhancing of natural colours#the finished gif you see that you steal without qualms thinking it took two seconds to make? think again#your show does NOT look like it does in the gifs.
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the only thing you can do about your troubles is project them onto your blorbos
#joel is now a median system (he's always been but) with slight changes in alters HOWEVER he has no idea what's happened and usually just#changes in how he feels about things and how he behaves/dresses/preferences. and the wolf kinnie thing is specific to traffic!joel#probably not a system I'm just a guy but it's nice to take your blorbos and say they have the same problems you do#like I do with cleo and my balance issues & muscle twitching#she has them because she died for a bit but. she gets hit with the projection beam#chewby rambles
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#kirika talks#bionicle#poll#Picked these based on importance/popularity#if your favorite female blorbo isn't in thats why#the biggest omissions are probably vhisola Gaaki and annona but sorry ppl prefer hewikiis gf over the yandere lesbian or eldritch dream gf#''ok but lariska and gavla arent that important'' consider. they're popular. that's why they have dibs over say Chiara or Gaaki#+ if i had to do a poll on bonkle girls without Lariska I would implpode. That's just the facts
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I wanted to draw Thorin with his post botfa scar because he's definitely alive and well.
(an alternative version with blood is under the cut since people wanted to see that too, haha)
#thorin oakenshield#the hobbit#lotr#lord of the rings#my art#people wanted blood and angst and i am but a people pleaser akdjskdj#the funny thing is i think i prefer the bloody version of the drawing lol#there is just something about seeing your favourite character hurt#are they even your blorbo if you don't draw/write them getting hurt#tolkien
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when you're home with your blorbo and he asks if you want a twinkie or a glazed donut but you only have cereals and chips in your snack shelf and says that he'll make the decision for you if you don't answer fast enough while unbuckling his belt
#new tag i guess#malia.thirsts#which one of your blorbos?#and do they prefer to glazed donut you or twinkie you
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i hope everyone knows that every bg3 take i have exists in the space of “these characters aren’t real but the players are”. i’m sick of takes that put down real living people over their choices for fictional characters who have no agency and cannot be hurt. making a real person feel bad about themselves over a video game choice… please have some self awareness
the video game isn’t more important than a person
#fray.txt#i love people#i love when people work together and uplift each other#i love humanity!#and i fucking despite when people would sacrifice someone’s happiness over a fictional fucking character#i don’t give a shit what the better choice for your blorbo is and how you don’t like when people pick the other choice#you can prefer something without making people who prefer something else feel like shit#putting down what you don’t like to lift up what you do… shut up#this is in response to my friend feeling really bad about themselves
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Okay, the JayRose bloodplay is kinda expected, but the JayRoseBatgirl threesome potential was a little surprising
#jayrose#jason todd#rose wilson#comic spoilers#the joker: the man who stopped laughing#joker spoilers#I'm not gonna tag the batgirls because you can pick your prefered blorbo!
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temeraire modern au rolling around in my brain where the dragons are elementary schoolers. here is temrer and iskierka
#emily is their babysitter#granby is their timbits hockey coach or little league whichever u prefer. he is struggling#i have such a clear vision for lily in my mind#lmk if you want to see your dragon blorbo from this series i will do my best god bless#temeraire#iskierka#my art
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Always important to ask yourself whether the post is in bad faith or if you just don't like what it says.
#queue#if you do not believe someone in good faith can dislike your blorbo or ship...they can#now to be clear: i have characters/ships where i am UNINTERESTED in any opinions from people who dislike them#but in many cases it's simply personal preference not bad faith#the above is about fandom but also this is true for more serious things as well#(obviously not bigoted posts or whatever but like. do you reject articles bc they fuck with your worldview bc that's not bad faith)#i am. bad at the wikipedia assume good faith rule outside of wiki usage but i am working on it bc i think you have to
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if i had a nickel for every character with a really cool and fun to draw design that i was otherwise not sure about that ultimately lost every chance of me ever liking them due to the fans being incredibly annoying about them, i'd have 3 nickels in bsd alone, which at this point isn't even funny anymore.
#that's a pattern#and i'm an oversensitive little bitch#i am begging and crying for my brain to understand that other people's preferences aren't a personal attack against me#even if they are hyping their blorbo up by putting yours down#even if they're putting other fans down for not liking their blorbo#it's not that serious#it's all in good fun probably#it's fine it's fine it's fine#pls chill
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Proof that I'm a forever ride-or-die MCU Stephen Strange Stan ~
My first thought when learning of the return of RDJ to the MCU was: WHAT ABOUT DOCTOR STRANGE??? Isn't he closely tied to Doom as adversaries in the comics? Why wasn't he mentioned in connection to Avengers: Doomsday? Has Feige/et al, decided Stephen has no further value to the MCU?
Second thought? FU Feige/Waldron/et al.
#I'm so pissed and so done with the MCU#they have only ignored & devalued My Hero#wtf is up with that?#somewhere in my drafts is a news release post that I meant to comment on stating that Wong--not Stephen--would be the one assembling...#...the next generation of Avengers#wtf is with that#MCU critical#you bet your sweet ass I am#going forward I gotta prefer getting new Strangebatch content via fanfic#and I'm not talking Strange/Doom slash fic cuz it's not my cuppa#I want mystery & danger & angst & Stephen being a total badass while also having his deep compassionate heart...#the Healer turned Hero who always chooses to save lives no matter the cost to himself#Doctor Strange#Sorcerer Supreme IN DEED if not in name#Stephen Strange#Architect of Victory over Thanos#despite the heaviest toll it inflicted on him#Strangebatch#My Eternal Blorbo
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I’m here to say that you may absolutely express negativity about veilguard to me as long as it’s not stupid. hate on it for real reasons, of which there are plenty, most of which I’m ignoring because of the hype but would be glad to discuss in a civilized manner. no forced positivity in this zone this is a safe space. unless your criticism is dumb as fuck then I will point and laugh
#sorry people have been posting about how bad the ~discourse~ is#about everything under the sun#and I’m starting to think that people are really just classifying like#‘oh this guy has a different opinion than me’ as discourse#like. hm. here’s an example from the latest and greatest#some people think a certain ending for Astarion is better than the others#they are entitled to that opinion! you are entitled to dksageee!#nobody is attacking you for your preference#even if someone says on their blog ‘oh if you don’t put blorbo bleebus through the bingly bop ritual you’re not a real fan’ that’s still#not a personal attack! that’s just someone Having Thoughts on their own blog#sorry I’m just. sigh#you can’t post any analysis of the actual climactic event in dragon age 2 anymore without it being labeled discourse#and I think. here’s my contribution to the discourse#you all are so obsessed with Avoiding Discourse that you’re not letting yourself feel the joy of getting stupidly invested in media#anyway. aren’t you tired of being nice. don’t you wanna go apeshit#ugh sigh DISCLAIMER because this is tumblr and you have to over explain lest someone take you in the worst possible faith#I am WELL AWARE of people who do actually like attack people and make online space hell for the differing opinions#tis why I specified people talking about their takes *on their own blog*#I am also WELL AWARE of pervasive issues in fandom. namely racism. I’m talking about racism and looking directly at the way bg3 fandom#treats and talks about wyll. and the way they treat black fans who rightfully call that shit out#racism isn’t discourse. it’s racism#talking about racism isn’t discourse. don’t devalue the conversation like that#disclaimers over. I stand by what I said#this is a safe space to have opinions. even if I disagree. unless what you’re saying is really stupid#don’t fish for reasons to be a hater. haterism should come naturally or not at all#this has been a post
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There’s something so compelling to me about Jon being isolated completely… not even in the “ostracized and hated” sense (which is also delicious to be clear) but in the “no human contact ever” kind of way. And I want someone to do this to him deliberately also. I want Jon to work in the archives without assistants ever. Completely alone because Elias put him there and didn’t give him assistants. I want to put him in a box and poke tiny holes in the lid and then put the box on a very high shelf where nobody can reach and see what happens to him.
#insane and horrible things are constantly happening to Jon 24/7 in my brain#this is all an act of love btw#I want him to suffer because I love him soso much#I think making him completely alone would be fun and interesting#I don’t want to put characters I hate in the torture chamber because I don’t care to think about them#the purpose of putting a character through hell is to rotate your suffering blorbo like the pretzel#jonhate is not welcome here but jonsuffering always is. is the point#anyway maintagging my mental illness this time#tma#the magnus archives#jon sims#jonathan sims#edited to change the six months bit#it was a random span of time but also not enough actually#also i would prefer to avoid mentions of jm on this post. it’s not a judgements it’s just very much Not My Thing
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