#this discussion happens every month or so

[bluebirdsfeathers]

Her Intern

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Relationship: Ceo!Wanda X Butch!Loser!Reader

Summary: You get a look into what it’s like to be on the receiving end of Wanda’s temper, but she could never be mad at you.

Words: 1.3K

Warnings: age gap relationship (R is early 20s, W is like 40), mention of stocks, Yelling if that stresses you out.

A/N: Wanted this to be longer but I’m starting class again on Monday and I’ve had way more work to do than I thought. Hope you enjoy this. I’ve tagged everyone who asked, if you want to be tagged in the next chapter, let me know.

Inspiration

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

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The silence in the room made every minuet feel like an eternity. No one dared to speak. You could feel your pulse rise as the clock hand inched closer to the number nine. This morning you had gotten ready on auto piolet, showered and once again put on your wrinkled shirt. You hadn’t bothered investing in any new clothing since you began working with Pietro. The lack of dress code made you feel like it wasn’t necessary, so this was still your most professional shirt. It was the same one you’d worn your first day here, now you worried this would be your last.

Sleep hadn’t come fast last night. You’d stayed up for hours running possible situations and outcomes, planning what you’d say for each one in excruciating detail. But by the time morning came all those preparations were gone from your mind. The only thing you could focus on was the memory of Wanda catching you in her office.

She looked so angry.

You blinked away the sting in your eyes and nose, not wanting to cry, not now at least. That could Wait till after the meeting, when you could lock yourself in the bathroom away from prying eyes.

The clock reached nine and the doors to the conference room flung open, Wanda entered leaving the door to slam shut behind her. Everyone in the room sat up straight and turned their attention to the red head, everyone but you. You couldn’t bring yourself to look, instead keeping your head down hoping the ground would swallow you whole.

“Good morning,” Wanda began as she retrieved some papers from her briefcase, “I know I’m taking you away from your work, but I wouldn’t have called this meeting if there wasn’t something important that needs to be discussed.” Her tone was polite, but anger was bubbling underneath. As she finished speaking her eyes scanned the room, eventually landing on you. Wanda faced twitched with annoyance at fact you weren’t looking at her. She cleared her thought before continuing. “Once I have everyone’s attention, I’ll tell you why you’re all here, or better why one of you isn’t.”

You took the hint and slowly raised your head, not expecting to find Wanda staring directly at you, stern eyes softening for a moment before hardening back over. Her words finally reached your brain, and you glanced quickly around table, the other interns seemingly doing the same.

Theo.

Theo wasn’t there. He hadn’t come in with Wanda, which was strange considering how he’d normally be following her around like a lost dog.

“I expect you to already know this, but Westview Paper is the most trusted news sources in the country,” Wanda paced at the front of the room, her voice and posture portraying nothing but power. “We take pride in being able to provide the American public with honest unbiased reporting. So what do you think might happen if an employee threatened that reputation?” She was now stood directly behind you; the room fell so silent you could hear your heart as it raced.

“They would be fired.” The silence was broken by an intern sat across from you. Despite his suit probably being worth more than you all make a month, fit him like a kid playing dress up in his days wardrobe, and he looked like he’d just been caught. Wanda let his words hang in the air for an uncomfortably long time.

“Yes, thank you Jake. They would be fired.” As Wanda moved back to the front of the room her fingers ghosted the nape of your neck, something so innocuous it could have easily been an accident. “Theo had gone behind my back, fed information about stories we were publishing to outsiders, and all to boost his stock portfolio.” Her voice dripped with distain. “He is no longer working here, in fact, he will no longer be working for any publisher this side of the Atlantic Ocean.” She gave her words time to breath, making sure we all understood the gravity of the situation. Your mind went back to yesterday, standing in her office when she came out angrily yelling down the phone, that’s what she was talking about.

“Now I called this meeting as a warning to all of you. You aren’t children anymore, this is the real world, your actions have consequences that go far beyond timeouts, or early bedtimes. So if any of you even think about trying anything that will tarnish the reputation of this organization, I want you to really consider what it means to throw your life away! A life that, I might add, for most in here was handed to them. Dismissed.” With every sentence her voice grew louder, the anger finally bubbling over as she slammed her fits onto the table.

There was a mad scramble for the door as everyone collected their things and piled out the room.

“Y/n, I want to have a word with you.” Wanda called out with a lingering trace of rage. The other interns turned to look at you as you awkwardly shuffled back from the door. Your anxiety was already high and now you truly felt like you were going to combust. It took a moment for the room to clear but once it had, and the door closed you jumped into speech.

“Ms Maximoff, I’m so sorry, Pietro said it was okay, not that it’s his fault, I should have never invaded your privacy like that.” The word vomit just kept coming. “I was just meant to drop off the magazine and leave, I shouldn’t have stayed as long as I did. I’m so sorry, I understand if you want to fire me.” With those last words your lip wobbled, and you could do nothing to stop the tears.

Wanda, who up until now had been watching you ramble with slight bewilderment, moved to comfort you. “Y/n. I’m not going to fire you, don’t be silly,” she shushed, placing a hand on your shoulder and motioning for you to sit down, “quite the opposite actually.” You sat down trying your hardest to steady your breathing. “What do you mean?” You asked, wiping your nose with your sleeve before Wanda instinctively handed you a tissue from the box on the table.

“First, I wanted to ask if you were okay.” She leaned in placing a gentle hand on your knee. “Yesterday, in my office, you left so quickly. I was worried about you.”

“You were worried about me?”

“Yes, y/n! I was because…” Wanda stopped herself and leaned back in her chair. “Because you are my employee, and I think you have a promising future here at Westview.” You go to speak but Wanda continues, “Which is why secondly, I wanted to ask if you would be interested in taking over as my intern. I can give you some time to think about…”

“Yes!” You blurted out a little louder than expected, your cheeks flushed as you saw Wanda’s shocked expression. “I mean yes Ms… I would… I’m sorry I didn’t mean to. It’s just… are you sure you want me?” Before you could start to spiral again, you were brought back to reality by the sound of Wanda giggling.

“I’ve wanted you from the start.” She stood up and began walking to the conference room’s door. “For the position of course.” She added before leaving.

As you sat alone in the room you couldn’t help it as a smile crept across your face. You were going to be her intern! Then the reality of the situation hit you. You were going to be her intern.

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Tag list: @wandaslittlehorns @starfire1008 @mirage018 @viosblog112 @nebthetautora @ciaoooooo111 @cowboy-hunter

[mostly-marvel-musings]

First fight - Christmas With You

A/N: Alright here we go, another one from this universe. Let me know if y’all are tired of this series, okay? @ccbsrmsf1 thank you for discussing ideas with me, darling 🤍

Pairing: Tony Stark x Single Mom! Reader

Warning: Bit of angst. This is long-ish.

Christmas With You Masterlist

.

The bed felt cold.

Colder because you were lying alone in it. Tony had slipped out some time after you’d fallen asleep, clearly not wanting to disturb you. You missed waking up next to his warm body all wrapped around you, his soft snores against the back of your neck which he claimed were untrue, you simply missed the man. That was mostly because the man spent a lot of time down in his lab.

Which was an understatement.

You were practically living together now, though it wasn’t official yet; you and Noah spent almost every weekend over at the Tower, dinner and movie nights, picnics in the park, it had been a breezy few months.

But then you realised the more time you spent with Tony, just how much he’d dedicate himself to his work with the Avengers, moreover working on his suits. You tried to not let it get to you, knowing very well the different worlds you came from, but it did.

It was after eleven and you were in no mood to listen to Tony’s excuses, so you decided to go down to the lab and drag him out of there if it came to that. Your eyes fell on the partially open door where Noah should’ve ideally been sleeping after you tucked him in. Concerned, you pushed it open to reveal an empty bed.

Panic set in as you began frantically searching for your son. JARVIS - Tony’s virtual assistant informed you that he was down in the lab with Tony, however that did nothing to quell your anxieties. They weren’t supposed to be up this late, both your boys.

It was only a moment later that you heard a crash immediately followed by loud wail let out by Noah which made you sprint towards the lab. The lab door slid open and your heart dropped to your stomach at the sight.

Shattered glass and what looked like one of Tony’s repulsor’s in Noah’s hand as he lay on the ground, his right hand limp against his side while he bawled.

“Oh God! Noah! What happened?”

Sinking next to him, you didn’t know what to think as upon seeing you, Noah immediately moved to hug you. Tony was by your side, looking equally alarmed with a flash of guilt on his face as he asked JARVIS for an analysis.

It appears Master Noah Y/L/N’s wrist is fractured.

JARVIS’s voice sounded through the room, breaking your heart further. Noah shivered as sobs wracked through his little body, making Tony promptly retrieve a blanket and carefully wrap it around him.

“Tony!” Your voice trembled as you picked Noah up, trying to calm him down.

“We’ll take him to the emergency room, come on.” Tony gave your shoulder a squeeze before leading you out to the elevators.

Lucky that the Tower housed an infirmary and was only a few floors down, you whispered words of comfort to your son who was now whimpering, his little face tucked in your neck.

"How'd this even happen? Why was he in the lab?" you asked Tony, as the elevator doors opened, he'd kept a hand on your back, reassuring you the whole way but he hadn't said much.

"I um—I don't-"

Right as he was about to tell you the truth, a nurse beckoned you over to take a look at Noah. Hurrying in, you gently placed him on the bed before a friendly looking doctor entered. Tony stood beside you, mind in a turmoil about how to tell you the truth, knowing you'd probably hate him forever once you knew.

"Noah, the doctor's going to take a look at your arm now, okay?"

"No pointy needle!" Noah cried before tears gathered in his eyes once again at the possibility of an injection. Rubbing his back gently, you reassured there wouldn't be a needle anywhere near him. He insisted on sitting in your lap while the doctor examined his wrist, letting you know he'd need an x-ray.

"Noah, can you tell me how this happened please?" the doctor asked, smiling at your son who's eyes remained downcast, like he'd been caught.

"I went to Mr. Stark's lab and—and I found the Iron Man hand but it fly, Mama and I fell. I'm sorry." he murmured, looking up at you to gauge how upset you looked, but you were only worried for him.

"And where were you?" You turned to Tony, who similar to Noah had his head hung, staring at his feet that were tapping against the tiled floor.

"I didn't know he was in there. I'm sorry, Y/N." he said quietly, making your stomach twist as his words sunk in.

"You're sorry?" you repeated, right before the doctor awkwardly cleared his throat, suggesting an x-ray for Noah in the other room.

Without another glance at the man, you carried your son away to have his x-ray taken. Your mind swum with a mix of emotions, anger, disappointment and fear being at the forefront. Noah’s tears subsided as the doctor made conversation with him, clearly good with kids as he managed to distract him enough. He even brought out a few options for his cast that he’d have to wear until his wrist healed.

Noah being Noah obviously chose a superhero one, sitting still like a good boy while the doctor did his thing. The doctor reassured you he’d be fine in about six to eight week’s time, that kids heal faster because of their growth hormones. You even saw Noah crack a smile when he brought out a lollipop for him for being the best patient.

The elevator ride up to the penthouse was silent, Tony remained by your side, waiting for the inevitable but stayed quiet for Noah’s sake. You kissed Noah’s forehead after tucking him in your bed that you shared with Tony, letting a stray tear escape. For three years it had just been you and him, you couldn’t imagine what life was like before him. The thought of something terrible happening to him filled you with such dread.

“Noah, promise me you won’t sneak away like that again.”

“Promise, Mama.” He whispered, nodding his head earnestly.

“You know you really scared me. Mr. Stark’s lab is not safe for a kid, we’ve told you that, haven’t we?”

He nodded before turning into your body and making himself smaller, whispering a sorry which sounded heavy with a lisp, something that happened when he was upset or had been crying.

He was often well beyond his age some days but then days like these made you realise he was just three, a curious kid would eventually end up hurting himself if left unattended.

Tony watched you put Noah to bed, his guilty conscience eating away at him as you finally stood and closed the door behind you, leaving a crack open.

“Look, Y/N, I’m so—” he began, only for you to put your hand up to silence him.

“You didn’t hear him come in? Or you let him in and left him around your equipment all alone? Tell me, Tony. I need to know.”

Tony refused to meet your eyes, shoving his hands in his pockets as he took in a breath, ready to come clean.

“I—I didn’t know how he managed to sneak in, Y/N. I didn’t. By the time I found him he’d gotten hold of the repulsor already.”

You took in sharp breath, pacing around before him, trying to calm yourself.

“How do you not hear a three year old walk into your lab? You had that stupid music blasting, didn’t you? Tony, you weren’t supposed to be down there so late, neither was Noah, and yet somehow—”

“I couldn’t sleep, Y/N! I didn’t know he’d be awake. He’s not my son, he—I. I didn’t mean it like that. Shit.” Tony instantly regretted his words, rubbing a hand down his face watching those hurtful words take effect as your face fell.

“You’re right. He’s not your son, he’s mine. It’s just been me and him all this time. We’re just living here while you continue to live your life just the way you used to. Not caring about anybody else.”

There it was again. Silence.

Someone who’d usually keep his lab locked with a code, Tony had left it open thinking nobody at that hour would disturb him; even if they did, it would be you calling him back to bed. It was just a series of mishaps after that and he really was to be blamed here. He would never intentionally hurt you or your son. You two were a part of him now, a part he wanted to protect so fiercely. And yet somehow the exact opposite had happened.

“I think I should go home.” You spoke after a while, taking Tony by surprise at how defeated you sounded.

“What? Please Y/N, it’s late.” He tried but you shook your head, wrapping your arms around yourself tightly.

“We wouldn’t want to be an inconvenience to you and your work.”

“You could never. Both of you. Sweetheart, please—”

“It could’ve been so much worse, Tony! What if he’d—” you couldn’t even bring yourself to finish the sentence. Tears streamed down your face at the thought of losing your son. Tony wanted to do nothing but gather you in his arms and say how sorry he was for fucking up, yet he couldn’t.

“Don’t fight.”

A little whisper came from behind you as Noah stood by the door of your bedroom, rubbing sleep from his eyes with his one good hand. Turning around, you knelt before your son, taking his hand and kissing the back of it.

“I’m so sorry I woke you, baby. Mama was just worried. Do you want to go home?” Lifting him up in your arms, you saw concern in his eyes as he looked between you and Tony.

“I okay, Mama. See? I don’t cry. Please don’t fight.” He repeated himself, holding his sling-clad arm up for you as if to show it didn’t hurt him anymore.

“I can drive you back tomorrow, if you want. But it's late, Y/N. please stay.” Tony murmured, keeping his distance. Merely nodding in agreement, you went back in the bedroom and lay back down with your son, hugging him close to your body for comfort. Comfort that you both needed.

“Good night.”

You heard Tony, he’d disappeared before you could ask where he was going. Shutting your eyes, you let out a sigh, wondering how this day had turned so sour.

.

Back home, Noah knew something was wrong with how silent you had been. And how Tony who would usually spend time with him, playing and chatting, had left without a word. He also noticed you had not kissed Tony before he left.

Days turned to weeks and you heard little to nothing from Tony. His actions had angered you and you were starting to question everything. It was your own mind against you and you thought of just calling Tony up and clearing things. You couldn't take the silence anymore.

That was the plan, apparently the same thing went through your boyfriend's mind too because one Sunday afternoon, your doorbell rang and there he was, holding a bouquet of your favourite flowers and a look of apprehension.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"May I come in?" Tony shuffled on his feet, his heart jumping with hope as you nodded and opened the door for him. Noah sat on the couch watching the two of you warily, unsure if he should be happy to see his favourite superhero after a quiet few days.

"How are you, kid?" he smiled at Noah, a flash of regret in his eyes as Noah held up his cast-covered arm to show he was fine. He had healed fast, much to your relief.

"I am strong, Mr. Stark. Look! No hurt!” he shared enthusiastically before going back to his cartoons.

“You’re certainly stronger than I am, champ.”

You took Tony's hand and led him to the kitchen, feeling reassured with his presence already. You had missed him terribly. Not knowing what came over you, you wrapped your arms around him and hugged him tight, throwing him off for a second before he reciprocated and buried his face in your hair, inhaling deeply.

“I’m sorry. I just, I missed you, Tony.” You murmured, flushed at your own impulse.

“Please don’t be. I’ve missed you too, so much.”

Tony’s words made you smile, not giving you a chance of reply, he grabbed both your hands in his and stepped closer.

“Honey, I am so sorry for what happened, I won’t ever be able to forgive myself for it. I swear to you I’d do whatever it takes to make it up to you. Noah is precious to me, both of you are. Please forgive me?” His big brown eyes bore into yours as he held your hands against his chest.

“I’m sorry too, Tony. Can’t blame you entirely for what happened. Sometimes I forget I can’t control everything that boy does, he’s been such good kid to bring up, I wonder how he’s only three, but then incidents like these remind me, you know?”

“And to say I’m protective of him would be an understatement of the century. I would die before I let anything happen to him.” You chuckled, glancing back at your son who was now curiously listening to your conversation, cartoon abandoned.

Tony didn’t say it out loud but in his head he’d reciprocated those feelings for the two of you. He would do everything in his power to protect you both, and had reached a point in the relationship where he couldn’t picture his life without you in it.

“We okay?” Noah piped up, making you both laugh and assure your too-wise-for-his-age son that everything was fine.

Tony smiled with fondness and love in his eyes, his heart threatening to beat out of his chest thanks to how full it felt. He’d never realised how much he needed this until now, the beautiful world of yours, a family, his family.

“So I guess what I’m trying to say is, we’re okay. And please put a child lock on that goddamn door of your lab.” You laughed, closing your eyes when Tony reached out to press a soft kiss against your temple.

“I’ll give you the codes. You’re welcome to drag me out of there any time. I know I haven’t been around much. And I’m sorry about that. I promise I’ll be better.” Tony said earnestly. You eased his frown-lines by standing up on your toes to kiss his forehead.

“Guess you have a lot of make up for then, Mr. Stark.”

[stellamarielu]

show me

john mitchell x female reader

summary: bloodlust and sexual desire have become one in the same to mitchell making it increasingly difficult to have a normal relationship. so when you find yourself frustrated by the lack of physical intimacy, he figures out a way to solve the problem

content: nsfw, 18+, cursing, mentions of blood, mentions of death, a little bit of angst, a sprinkle of fluff, a shit ton of dirty talk, mutual masturbation [kinda], basically mitchell just wants to watch you get off, fingering, squirting? [lord forgive me]

authors note: first mitchell fic let’s go!! so, I wanted to start with something more tame for mitchell since it was my first time writing for his character, but i did no such thing. this is just full speed no brakes very smutty so if that’s not your jam just keep scrolling! there is some fluff and a little bit of angst but other than that it's just filth

-

It had been nearly a month since you learned the truth about Mitchell. What started as innocent interactions and flirtatious jokes turned into the two of you regularly going for drinks at the local pub. Before you knew it, your casual little dates led to you joining him and his roommates for movie nights at their home which always ended with you both cuddled up next to each other on the couch. 

Mitchell tried not to let you into his complicated life but failed miserably after the first time he felt that warm fuzzy sensation in his chest when he saw you. You had him wrapped around your finger in a way no one ever had, so much so that he started referring to you as his girlfriend, which of course made George and Annie annoyingly giddy. They absolutely adored you and thought you’d be good for Mitchell, someone to motivate him– to ground him. It all happened so quickly but you couldn’t help it, neither of you could. You were completely infatuated with one another; it was almost sickening. 

But of course, along with the fresh adoration of a new partner also came their baggage. It was something you expected. What you weren’t expecting however, were the skeletons in Mitchell’s closet to be so literal.

He had gone back and forth about telling you the truth and of course Annie had convinced him to be honest with you.

“If your feelings for her are real and you want a genuine relationship you have to tell her Mitchell.” 

He knew she was right, but it didn’t stop the anxiety weighing on his chest at the thought of rejection. It was terrifying. The possibility that you would run screaming kept him putting it off day after day until one night the two of you were having dinner at your apartment and it just kind of stumbled out of his mouth. 

“A Vampire?” 

The words slipped from you in a giggle, your face full of amusement at his confession. You figured he must’ve been trying to make some kind of stupid joke until you noticed his dead serious demeanor.

When he refused to meet your tickled expression with a smile of his own, your brain started running laps around itself trying to piece together the last few weeks of your life. Confusion and fear filled your senses and for a split second it felt like you were sitting across from a complete stranger. Despite your inner dialogue telling you to run, you didn’t leave. You didn’t even get up from your seat. You just sat and waited for him to explain himself further. 

So he did. He told you everything.

It took hours of explanations from him and hesitant stares from you, but after a night of discussing his condition you were sure he was telling the truth, and you were also somehow open to it. 

Mitchell was surprised by how understanding you had been about the whole thing. After the initial shock, the two of you laid on your couch until the sun came up and you interrogated him about his supernatural lifestyle.

he answered every last question. 

You learned about the different cities he’d lived in, the people he had known throughout his long life, who he once was, who he still longed to become. You admired his desire to live differently than the others like him. 

Even after listening to the man next to you give hour’s worth of evidence proving he was a bloodthirsty killer, you still managed to fall asleep in his arms. At the end of the day, it was still Mitchell; Mitchell who mopped floors and made crude jokes, Mitchell who was always there to give you a comforting smile or lighthearted wink when you were having a rough day, Mitchell who you had fallen head over heels for, Mitchell who wanted to be human so badly that he was attempting sobriety from the very thing his body craved most. Nothing could change the way you felt for him and so you held it together when he told you a secret about himself that he was sure would have your relationship unraveling.  

Only he didn’t tell you everything. There was one little detail about his life that he left out that night. He told you about the countless people he killed– about the guilt that ate away at him as he remembered their faces. He even confessed to you that he had given in to his bloodlust not long before you met. All the grim details about his murderous tendencies were true, but he made sure to leave out the part about how he killed them. 

You knew that he drank away their lives, that he consumed their blood until there was nothing left of them. But he couldn’t bring himself to tell you that it so often started by seducing a woman- getting her naked in bed, writhing and vulnerable underneath him. He hated that he’d weaponized sex for so long that he could no longer differentiate his longing for blood and his desire for sexual release– the two had become synonymous. It was so bad that anytime he found himself in a heated position with a woman he couldn’t tell if the passion he felt burning in his veins was actual yearning or just a desire to feed. This made his relationship with you extraordinarily difficult. 

You were so handsy. Of course you were. The two of you had been dating for nearly three months and the furthest you’d gone was a clothed second base. 

At first, Mitchell told you he wanted to take things slow, a little odd maybe, but you respected his boundaries and kept the physical touch to a minimum. But time went on, and the restraint you had both practiced began to falter. You started getting little tastes of what it would be like to have his hands on your body and his mouth on your skin it was driving you insane. Every time he kissed you, his lips lingered on yours and there was a certain hint of impatience that always peeked through. You could sense the hunger in the way he would crash his lips on you, his mouth molding to yours and his tongue tracing your bottom lip. Sometimes he would even let his hands find your hips gripping you tightly and pulling you into him as close as possible. Not to mention the little groans that would slip from him when you tugged on his hair. Those little grunts made you want to drop to your knees in front of him and see what other sounds you could pull from his mouth. 

You were constantly reminding yourself to take things slowly, but it was so hard when there was such a strong sexual tension tying the two of you together– or at least you thought there was; but based on the way Mitchell would break your kisses and take his hands off of your body like he just burned them on a stovetop, you were beginning to think maybe he wasn’t craving you in the same way.

Only there was no doubt in his mind that Mitchell wanted to fuck you. He was obsessed with you. He thought about what you looked like naked at least once a day and dreamed about hearing the little whimpers that you’d make when he was finally able to get between your legs. he wanted you, but he was terrified of possibly putting you in danger, so he tried to keep his hands to himself, Just for a little bit. 

At least that’s what he told himself at the beginning. He would work his way up to having sex with you. Like little practice runs, he would let himself give in to the temptation, a make out session here and there, maybe even some heavy petting- but he would always put an end to it before it went any further.

He had to pace himself with you. He needed to be able to control the blood driven part of him that had most of his hookups ending in red stained sheets. You deserved the best part of him. The part that he was convinced was still human. The part that could take his time and indulge in the intimacy of knowing another’s naked body. He knew that part of him still existed- he knew because you brought it out of him. With every touch of your hand to his cheek or the feeling of your sweet lips on his, he felt it. Hell, even when you had your fingers intertwined in his hair, pulling at it while you attacked his neck with kisses, he could feel a deep appreciation for the way you loved him. It was an innocent kind of love. It was pure and gentle and all-consuming and the last thing he wanted to do was ruin it by pushing things too far. He wouldn’t ruin this- ruin you. 

But then you were straddling him on his bed. Your legs spread on either side of his hips as he grabbed onto you, guiding your movements as you slid your fully clothed center over his, your lips meshing in a messy kiss.

The house was empty other than the two of you who were now involved in a very heated make out session in his bedroom. His hands were splayed across your thighs, holding them hungrily and his mouth chasing yours. Neither of you were showing any intentions of holding back, so you took it upon yourself to take things a bit further. 

You let your hands fall to the button of his jeans–undiscovered territory that you were determined to explore at the feeling of his obvious arousal beneath you. Just as you were fumbling with the zipper of his jeans, Mitchell broke your kiss and took a hold of your wrist in an abrupt attempt to stop you. 

You looked down at him, trying your best to hide the defeat you felt from yet another rejection. His eyes looked almost remorseful before he averted his gaze downward to where your hands met, he was tracing little circles on your wrist. 

You were out of breath, chest heaving, and thoughts jumbled. You were trying not to read into it, but this whole situation was so confusing to you. Was there something you didn’t know? He seemed to be enjoying himself just moments ago; so why was he stopping? Did he ever intend to have sex with you? 

“Mitchell, are you attracted to me?” The words flew out of your mouth as you leaned back, still sitting on his lap. 

“What?” 

His expression was a mixture of confusion and amusement which only frustrated you further because what on earth did he have to be confused about? 

“Seriously. I get it if you want to take it slow, but It’s been weeks and I’m starting to get scared that you don’t actually want to have sex with me.” 

He was watching as you spoke, a small smile curling on his lips. He couldn’t help it; you were so cute and flustered sitting on top of him talking about how badly you wanted to have sex. How could he not be attracted to you? How could you think something so utterly insane? 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” 

You were questioning him and teasingly shoving at his chest so that his back sunk further into the mattress beneath him. The only response coming from the man laying under you was a low chuckle. 

“Mitchell, talk to me.” Your voice softened.

You were serious now; Mitchell could hear it in your worried tone and see it in the unsure gaze holding his own. 

He sat up with an audible sigh and you took that as a sign things were taking a more serious turn. 

You carefully moved off his lap, opting for a seat next to him and plopping down on the bed. You sat facing him with your legs folded underneath you and your hand gently resting on his thigh. 

Everything about you was inviting his awaiting admission; your body language, the gentle smile encouraging him to go on, the way your eyes fell on him in an already understanding gaze. You were too good for him– too kind. Here you were willing to accept every last part of him and he was getting ready to tell you he uses sex to aid his homicidal affinities. 

“I did want to take things slow- I do.” He started with his eyes glued on you.

”I just, I don’t want to hurt you.” He spoke slowly, still searching your eyes for any changes to your expression.

“And you’ll hurt me if we have sex?” You were trying to clarify and make sense of what Mitchell was saying.

“I used to-“ He began but stopped himself. 

He looked down at your hand on his leg. Your touch so sincere. 

“I used to use sex as a method of getting women alone and vulnerable so I could- you know...”

He was still staring down refusing to look at you as he spoke. He couldn’t stand to watch the inevitable look of fear on your face. 

“It was just so easy. The first time I had sex after I turned, it was such a rush. Everything was intensified; her heart rate, the blood rushing through her veins, how much control I had. I didn’t even realize what I was doing and then she was just...” 

His words were trailing off yet again, he couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud. That he was a manipulative evil monster who prayed on women and got off on killing them.

 It wasn’t true though. That side of him was something else entirely. It was someone he didn’t even recognize when he was with you. 

His thoughts were interrupted when he felt your delicate hands cupping his face, bringing his eyes up to meet yours. Instead of a look of terror, your face held nothing but forgiveness and warmth. 

“So you’re scared you’re going to kill me if we sleep together?” Your words were point blank as you stared into his eyes. 

“No.” His response was instant, but then quickly followed by a correction, 

“Well maybe. I don’t know, it’s complicated.” 

He paused.

“I never want to hurt you. I know that much.” 

The look in his eyes was so gentle, begging for the forgiveness you’d already given.

“There’s just this part of me that I can’t control, and I’m so scared that I’ll get too caught up and won’t be able to stop myself.”

“Have you ever had sex without-“ 

You began to ask but Mitchell finished your question for you.

“Killing someone?”

He looked away again, unable to come to terms with his own sinful memories.  

“Yeah, but it’s been a long time.” He confessed.

You leaned back on the bed creating a bit more space between your bodies. You had a million thoughts running through your mind but the only one that mattered was the realization of how much Mitchell had come to mean to you in such a short time. Everything felt right with him. You were immersed so deeply in his world that this new piece of information just felt like a little blip on the radar of your lives. You would figure it out together. All of it. 

“Well okay then, we’ll just keep doing what we’re doing until you feel ready.”

As soon as the words left your mouth his eyes were back on yours. He was giving you the most hopeful smile, it nearly melted you. God- you’d do anything for him. 

“And if you never do, then I’ll just invest in a really good vibrator.”

You were joking to help lighten the mood. You didn’t want Mitchell to feel like you were judging him or disappointed in the new information regarding your sex life. 

Your comment had Mitchell cracking a smile for the first time in last five minutes and the sight of it warmed your heart. You were both just sat there looking at each other with silly little grins plastered on your faces, the dark tension in the room slowly dissipating. 

The silence between you lasted for a few seconds, Mitchell looked as if he was contemplating something before he finally spoke.

“Is that how you’ve been surviving this whole time?” There was a hint of laughter dancing in his words.

“My sweet girl gettin’ so frustrated she has to run home to relieve herself?”

His head was now cocked to the side as he probed you with a follow up question. He was smirking, clearly enjoying the effect his words had on you. If he couldn’t see the goosebumps on your skin, he sure as hell could hear your heart racing. 

“I’m sorry baby, you shouldn’t have to take care of yourself like that.” 

Mitchell’s voice was low, and he was moving his body closer to yours. He was hovering over you as your back rested against the warmth of his comforter. The sound of your heartbeat was amplified in his ears by the sudden closeness. 

This was new, you thought. 

Mitchell had never been this bold with his words. It was so filthy– so tempting.

“Do you think about me when you touch yourself?”

His eyes were heavy and his jaw tense as he awaited your response.

You thought about him every single time you touched yourself, which was more often than you’d like to admit given the current circumstances of your relationship. You had come up with one hundred different scenarios that involved you and Mitchell naked in his bed to aid you in your self-induced pleasure. 

But instead of divulging all of that to him, you just nodded your head in a simple reply to his question. 

“Show me.” His voice was dripping with desire, and you thought his eyes might burn a hole through you with how hard he was staring. 

“Mitchell…” 

You suddenly felt so shy. Just minutes ago, you were grinding down on his lap hungry to unbutton his jeans. Now he was asking to watch you touch yourself and your confidence was wavering. 

“C’mon baby. I wanna see how you get off.” His tone was so sultry, you were nearly slipping your pants off at sound of it.  

“Let me see baby.” He was intertwining his fingers in your hair and pulling you in for another messy kiss. 

“Fuck- I think about it all the time. What it would be like to watch you cum.” His hands were now trailing down your body, his touch was more rough than usual, but you didn’t seem to mind. 

“I touch myself thinkin’ about you too baby.” His gaze was scorching, as he watched you fumbling with your jeans in such hasty desperation to get them off. 

“Always so worked up from not being able to touch you the way I want to. It drives me fuckin’ insane.”

Now he was assisting you; pulling your jeans down your thighs, just as needy to see your body freed from them. 

Mitchell’s hands instantly found the exposed skin of your thighs as soon as your jeans came off. He was basking in the feeling of your warm skin, memorizing the way you felt in his hands as he gripped and kneaded the flesh of your upper leg all the way up to your hips. 

You were pulling him back down in a frenzied kiss when you felt his hands at your sides teasing the material of your underwear. His fingers were hooked in the waistband of your panties, and you found the kiss getting sloppier the closer you got to being half naked on Mitchell’s bed. Your lips were moving in a chaotic harmony when he pulled back to speak again. 

“Is this okay?” 

It was as if he was breaking character for just a second. The dirty words of primal desire were replaced with a tender whisper. The man who was just ripping your jeans from your body was now searching your face for approval before going any further. 

“Mhmm.” You were humming and nodding your head simultaneously placing your hands over his on your hips and helping him peel your underwear from your body. 

“Jesus- fuck.”

Mitchell couldn’t help the profanities that fell from his mouth as you looked up at him with such an innocently sensual gaze while you guided his hands down your legs. You looked so desperate for him.  

You were kicking your panties from your legs and instinctively closing your thighs, partially for the friction but mostly due to the nerves of your sudden vulnerability.

 Mitchell could sense your brief hesitation and wanted nothing more than to make you feel comfortable. To tell you how fucking hot this was- because it was. He hadn’t had sex in so long he thought he might just cum in his pants from the sight of you like this. 

He kissed you once more, deep and passionate while his hands found their place back on your thighs. He was running his fingers over your skin and grabbing each of your legs slowly pulling them apart as he situated himself between them. Then he broke the kiss and sat back on his knees to get a better view at your body all sprawled out on his sheets. 

“Fuck you’re so perfect.” His voice was close to a groan as he gazed down at your exposed center. He was in a hypnotic state at seeing you spread open all for him, so wet and ready; he was losing his mind.

“I wanna see you baby.” 

His fingertips were tracing your inner thighs, and you almost had to shut your legs again at the sensation; his touch causing you to let out a shaky breath. 

“wanna see how you play with yourself when you think about me.” 

You were closing your eyes and letting your hand trail down your stomach until it reached your core. If it weren’t for the fact that you were so pent up with sexual frustration from all the nights you had to leave Mitchell’s house after make-out sessions that led nowhere, you might have been more embarrassed by how quick you were to oblige with his directions. You were eager to finally get some sort of relief from him, even if it came in the form of his eyes on your body and his foul whispers in your ear. 

Your fingers were circling your clit and the sounds that came from the man above you were utterly carnal. 

“fuckkk.”

In a long, drawn-out groan Mitchell was releasing pent up frustrations of his own while watching your hand between your legs. 

He had envisioned you like this a million times but not one of those images even came close to what he was witnessing right now. He’d intended on trying to keep his composure but as soon as your fingers met your cunt, he couldn’t contain himself. 

“That’s it baby.”

Mitchell swooned, his body practically shaking as he watched you. All he wanted to do was replace your hand with is. He wanted to feel you. Needed to show you that the little scenarios of him you had conjured up in your head weren’t even comparable to the real thing. 

“So pretty for me.”

His words were only pushing you further into the lust filled abyss that threatened to swallow you whole. Your fingers were working faster in tight little circles and moans were forming in your throat and fighting to fall from your lips. 

“Look at me baby.”

You followed his command, looking up at him. He was going back and forth between looking into your eyes and watching the hand between your legs. He felt the familiar simmer of heat in his chest and the buzzing in his head– sensations that often came with his inability to stop himself from indulging in his deepest desires. He was teetering on the edge of losing all control when he found your eyes again, your tender stare bringing him back to reality. 

“Do you wish it was me touchin’ you like that.” He kept talking, hoping it would help tether him to his humanity. 

The low growl of his voice had you feeling brave enough to bring your hand lower, dipping a finger into yourself and whimpering out in pleasure at the thought of it being his touch instead. 

“Bet I could make you feel so good with my fingers- fuck.” 

The second he saw your hand venture lower he could feel his cock swelling in his pants. There was absolutely no way he would be able to keep his hands to himself now. Not while he watched you slipping your delicate little fingers into your cunt- something he had quite literally dreamed of doing for months now. 

“Oh sweet girl I need to touch you.”

You watched as he palmed himself through his jeans, the look on his face was so needy it made you bite down on your lip to muffle the obscene sound that fought its way to your mouth. 

“need to fuckin’ feel ya baby.”

And with that his lips were crashing into yours, your chests touching and moans mixing. You felt his hand on your inner thigh and nearly jumped when it skipped to your soaked core, his finger already pushing into you. 

“So wet for me huh?.” He was gathering your arousal and spreading it at your opening as he easily added a second finger along with the first. 

His head dipped down and his lips came in contact with the nape of your neck and you flinched. 

Your earlier conversation was still fresh in your mind, and you couldn’t help the involuntary recoil. Having Mitchell so worked up and putting his mouth on your neck startled you.  

He halted, every single one of his movements pausing as he drew his head back just enough to lock eyes with you. He had every intention of kissing down your neck, just wanting to envelop you in the feeling of his lips on your sensitive skin. He wasn’t even thinking about sinking his teeth into the flesh there, but once he felt you shrinking away from his touch, he felt awful. Shit did he scare you.

“Hey.”

He was searching your eyes, his expression full of worry. 

“I won’t hurt you.” A flip had switched, and his voice was now soft and reserved. 

“You’re safe.” He was reassuring you and now you felt bad for overreacting. 

You pulled him back to you in an affectionate kiss. 

“I’ve got you, I promise.” With that he was slowly moving his fingers inside you again. His thrusts were gentle, and he kept his eyes on you. He was being so careful, it was endearing. 

He had never felt so in control. It was a strange feeling, to be physically intimate with someone and not have a single hunger driven thought. While he had plenty of unsavory thoughts about you running through his mind, not even one had to do with his thirst for blood. All of them centered around hearing the cute little sounds you were making and watching you cum all over his fingers. 

He could sense your body relaxing under his touch and he watched your eyes flutter closed as his fingers curled into you. He was taking advantage of your comfort and switching to a faster pace. 

You had to squeeze your eyes shut completely as his fingers worked faster and depper. You were doing your best to keep quiet, scared that maybe someone would come home and be able to hear you, but with the way Mitchell was touching you, you finally let go of your worries. A lengthy moan fell from your lips, and had him groaning in response. 

“That’s it baby, don’t hold back.” 

He was encouraging your noises of satisfaction as he brought his lips back to your neck. Only this time, instead of flinching from the sudden attention, you tilted your head to the side to give him better access. You could feel him smirking against your skin. 

He was placing sweet kisses behind your ear while his fingers worked harder sliding in and out of you. His movements were perfectly executed, each thrust of his digits curling into you at the perfect spot and causing whispered profanities to form on your tongue. He knew exactly what he was doing, and it almost shocked you how close he had you to an orgasm already. 

“You feel that baby?” His voice was a mumble against the crook of your neck.

You were whining out a pathetic “yes” as he kept his pace, not holding back. You could feel your release building higher and higher, Mitchell’s fingers getting deeper alongside it. The exposition to your climax felt more intense than you’d ever experienced, and you were reaching for Mitchell’s forearm attempting to steady his movements, but all you were doing was pushing him on further.

“Let it out for me baby.” His voice was shaky, and it sounded as if he was holding back moans of his own.

Hearing him get so aroused by talking you through your pleasure only added to the pressure building in your core. 

“C’mon sweet girl I can feel you. So fuckin’ close.” 

You were writhing below his touch, whimpering and allowing yourself to give into the feeling of Mitchell’s fingers as he deliberately made sure each stroke hit the right spot. The sensation forming in your belly was almost too much to bear. 

Your relief was surging closer to release, like a wave it just kept building and you weren’t sure if you could handle it. And then, with Mitchell pushing into you, whispering little praises into your ear, you were coming undone. The floodgates were opened and your release was crashing over you, intense and all consuming. You were speechless as you felt yourself gushing over Mitchell’s fingers still deep inside you. He was coaxing you through your release, watching as you soaked his hand.

“Mmm look at that baby.” his voice was seeping with lust and he was looking between your bodies in a trance by the mess you were making beneath him. 

“Good girl.” He was growling and slowing the movements as he watched you come down from your high.

You were out of breath and in a state of pure bliss as you stared up at Mitchell. 

“Good fuckin’ girl.” With him looking back at you, you could see the look of pride in his expression, a smug smile on his lips.

“God I’m never gonna be able to get enough of you.” He brought his mouth down to you, locking his lips with yours in a hungrily passionate embrace.

You couldn’t bring yourself to care about the mess on Mitchell’s sheets or the fact that you didn’t think you could form words at the moment. All you wanted was to keep going, to make Mitchell feel just as good as he had made you feel. 

You were pushing yourself onto your elbows and making every effort to find your way to the obvious erection in his jeans. 

As much as Mitchell wanted to spend the entire night fucking you in every way imaginable, he knew it was too risky. Hell, he had almost lost his control before he even laid a finger on you.

While he felt excited by his newfound ability to venture further into this territory with you, he still wanted to take it step by step. He wanted to make sure he could trust himself– that you could trust him. 

“next time.”

He was grabbing your hand and bringing it to his lips, sealing his promise with a kiss to your palm.

You were pouting, but also inwardly thankful for his guarantee of future sexual escapades. 

“Don’t wanna bite off more than we can chew, yeah?” 

He was grinning to himself and leaning down to place a quick kiss on your forehead before hoping off his bed and searching for a towel. 

my masterlist

[noneatnonedotcom]

i'm sick and bored!

so here's another celestial dojo jaune build but this time I gave myself 1000 character points to work with and one free random roll. there will be no further rolls on the celestial dojo all improvements will come from in universe abilities. AU the grimm do not exist, instead it is the darkness in the hearts of men that hunters must strive against, the world of remnant is a post great war world where the color revolution and faunas wars happened at the same time leading to the utter collapse of civilization. five kingdoms remain,

Vale: the last monarchy, a place where knighthood and chivalry still finds a home. the king is elected from one of the noble families every ten years, knights are trained warriors who preside over a single settlement, while new colonies are popping up banditry and harsh weather or bad harvests can and will wipe them out leading to only a few knightly houses remaining. still any who wish may take on huntsmen training and take up the noble calling of a knight after graduation.

Atlas: the industrial powerhouse of the world, it is a city state with mandatory military service for all people, it is in a constant guerrilla war with menagery. it's tech is quite literally a century ahead of everwhere else though. minstral: the land of mercenaries. the entire state is essentially made up of mercenary companies who fight against or for cartels sometimes at the same time. minstral itself is a neutral territory where discussions of business can happen without risk of death for the negotiators. as a result the city effectively controls the continent but has very little power. vaccuo: vale's southern neighbor is in an interregnum lacking a royal to sit on the throne constant wars between the nomadic tribes of the desert and the Shieks over water keep them from uniting as no one has the spare men to expand their influence. menagerie: recognized as a kingdom in it's own right the island nation does have to deal with terrible PR as pirates and the White fang a faunas supremacy group are pretty much all they're known for now. making international trade and alliance all but impossible. now the royal belladonas seek to remove the white fang and pirates seeing them as a relic of the past. this of course is not going down well. you'd think in a world with no grimm things would be safer but no, with aura still a thing all it takes is some random jerk with a strong semblance and everyone's trying to take over the world. bandits are common outside the city walls and only other aura users can stop them. in this world of bloody evolution can the flower of chivalry bloom? or has the world fallen too far?

jaune's traits:

Breathing Style (400 CP) "The bread and butter of a demon slayer, the breathing techniques. You may choose any breathing style you like for any level or you can create your own on the same level as described, they don’t need to be for swords either, and note that all the higher levels can be reached by training. Post-jump you don’t need to breathe in order to use them if you do not require air to survive.

Hashira: The highest position of a demon slayer, usually gained by killing at least 50 demons or killing one of the 12 moons as a kinoe(the highest normal rank of demon slayers). You have reached the pinnacle of what a normal human is capable of with your breathing style, able to easily cut through scores of demons easily and take out the lower ranked moons without much effort. Your body is much stronger than the previous option, so much so you could be faster than the eye could see, and you may have even developed techniques of your own that no one else knows, but the most notable change is in your stamina, being able to go through extremely harsh training for weeks or even months straight. " Hanma (300 cp) "A lineage genetically predisposed to excel in all matters of violence, growing stronger with each battle. The quintessential Hanma bears the title of “World’s Strongest Lifeform”. Monstrous beasts, modern armies, and even natural disasters kneel before his physical might.

Those of the Hanma blood tend to develop demonic imagery throughout their body, such as the skull, back muscles, and even the brain.

For 300cp, you are a true heir to the Hanma name. So long as you continue to challenge yourself, you may catch up to masters with decades of experience in a few years, and the Ogre’s power may very well be within reach."

Steel Trap Clarity (300 cp) "It's a sad fact, but traitors and spies are lurking everywhere. Their hands forced by blackmail, willingly becoming a double agent from bribery or falling to good old fashioned brain washing. Not you though, absolutely not. Upon purchase, you become excessively resistant to traditional forms of corruption, mystical forms of brainwashing and everything in between. Something with mind-boggling power may still be able to put you under its control. Most of the threats to your morals or sanity in this world are just out of luck. Additionally, you will always be able to keep a clear idea of your personal principles, meaning you won't stray off of your path on accident."

(Free roll) Blessed by the Sun God (600cp) You did not awaken with the Demon Slayer Mark, you were born with it. Ever since you were young you have been stronger than most, and you only grew stronger over time. Because the mark is so deeply engraved into your body, it has undergone a change from the normal version, making you even stronger than it would make others along with a great increase in talent. Your Transparent World has gotten to the point where you can see individual blood vessels and sickness in people while also slowing the world down even more along with your thought processing being even faster. Most importantly, your Red Blade is much more potent, not only causing wounds to heal at a snail's pace for those with extremely fast regeneration and taking even more energy, but the wounds will continue to burn long after they have been healed, which will always leave nasty scars. Finally, those you train with will slowly be able to awaken their own marks, though only the first version.

how would you write this version of jaune? here's my idea down below

jaune's family in this universe have an instinctive grasp of violence, one they bury under the laws of chivalry to be able to function in this world. while most simply use aura the arcs developed this bodies first only unlocking the aura of their children after they've mastered the breathing forms. the increase in strength and speed is about what you would get from unlocking your aura and their natural physicality makes them stronger than most low level huntsmen anyways. jaune was unique born with the sign of the rainbow on his back he's always gotten combat and an instinctive grasp of how the human body works. but as a result has been isolated from the common sense of this world, lacking any idea of what aura is or how it works. not knowing what a huntsman is in relation to a knight. (knights are assigned a territory to watch over huntsmen travel around) and not knowing about modern tech and who the players are in the world. (doesn't know about weiss or pyrrha) people tend to view him as a blunt instrument. in reality his mind is far sharper than any would give him credit for. he's just a purpose built item, a sword among axes and hammers. he asked to be sent to beacon not to learn to fight but to actually learn to be human outside the shadow of his family. but can he hold back the instinctive call for violence that runs through his veins?

how would you write this world? how would you write this version of jaune ignoring my idea for it just above. also any thoughts on how things like the silver eyes would adapt to having to handle human enemies? my thought was it visualizes aura helping the silver eyed warriors not only empathetically predict their enemies abilities and next attacks but also what their semblance is. as well as giving a strong boost to their aura when feeling strong positive emotions.

@howlingday @weatherman667 @heliosthegriffin just something i'm doing while i'm too sick to actually do anything. lemme know what you would do

[idontplaytrack]

AGH

I'm obsessed with regressed Janis so...

Regina, Janis, and the gang go out. And Janis slips and goes non-verbal so no one knows/can really tell.

Idk

:D I love you and your work so very much, you have so much skill. Truly my favorite writer ever!!!

Fade into you

Janis ‘Imi’ike x Regina George

Warnings: Regina snaps at Janis, fluff, age regression

‘Fade into you

Strange you never knew’

Hearing the crowds of rowdy students around them who were either joking or discussing their weekend plans, Janis couldn’t wait to get out of school grounds. The past week has been filled with quizzes and at home? Janis’ father has been arguing with her mom about every little thing— absolutely just picking a fight when there was no need for that. Janis detested having to go home to that…chaos. So often times, she spent her afternoons at the park or the public library, only arriving home just in time for bed. The girl truly did everything in her power to avoid interacting with her parents. Her mom was okay, well— Janis was really close to her mom. Her father was the problem: almost always having a drink in hand, treating women like they were supposed to wait on him hand and foot, like women were only supposed to be housewives and babymakers. Janis loathed him, Janis couldn’t have her own voice around him…they kind of just co-existed, with one person having no acknowledgement for the other. How’d this start? The bunsen burner incident that led to Janis being kicked out of school for the remainder of that year. Kawaika immediately saw her as malevolent. Like some evil incarnate, and actually cried and asked what happened to ‘the good little girl he raised’. From that day on, Janis decided she was done playing nice. She only tolerated him. Her mom Alohi, fought to get a separation but he never wanted to sign the papers, and claimed he didn’t want to break up a perfectly fine family. This family’s been far from fine as long as Janis could remember, but the more she cared, the sadder she became, the angrier she was. So, eventually, Janis became…numb. Nothing scared her anymore. Losing her best friend was rock bottom for the Hawaiian artist.

She sat in a corner of the library, cozy and with her art supplies spread out before her so she could continue working on her current piece. Lost in her own little world, earphones allowing her to listen to her favourite playlist, Janis was startled when she felt a tap on her shoulder. “Hey.” Regina slid into the chair next to hers. Janis smiled softly, “Hi.”

“Doing okay?” Regina asked quietly, “You left school so quick I didn’t even see where you were headed. Luckily we have your location.”

Yeah, that’s right. Regina was now her girlfriend. And has been for the last six months. They talked and worked things out, eventually admitting their feelings for each other and deciding to start dating after years of being apart.

Janis’ shoulders slouched, then she resumed working on her art. She didn’t want to look at Regina anymore, or Damian, who was standing next to the blonde. “You wanna go to the mall? Have some lunch? You barely ate anything at school today.”

Janis didn’t say anything but began to pack up her stuff. Slinging her backpack on her shoulder, she stood up and walked towards the door. Regina took the smaller girl’s hand in her own, and Damian followed close behind them both while they headed for Regina’s Jeep. No, correction— Gretchen’s BMW X5 SUV. Regina opened the door and Janis wordlessly got in. Damian got in last, after Regina did. Gretchen greeted Janis warmly, but the girl didn’t even do anything as much as a nod back. Gretchen didn’t take that to heart and just let her be. While the rest of the group chatted away, Janis tuned out the noise and drifted off to sleep. Last thing she heard was that Cady would meet them there since she was taking Aaron’s car instead.

Janis didn’t even register it, but she was then somehow in the mall’s food court with her friends, clinging onto her girlfriend’s arm while they all decided what to eat. Regina felt the weight and looked down at her side, “You okay, baby?” The blonde squinted, both puzzled and concerned. It was unusual for Janis to be this quiet, at first she thought Janis was just tired. And she was, but there seemed to be more to it…considering this level of clinginess. Janis finally responded, even though it was just a nod. “Let’s go get our food, okay? Then after that we can go look at some toys before going home?”

Janis continued following the taller girl around, their friends didn’t even bat an eye. The couple wound up sharing some Panda Express. Janis definitely did not want to talk so Regina didn’t force it…as much as she would rather have the girl be talking her ear off. This silence felt tense. Regina didn’t like it. But at least none of their friends were being annoying about it. Gretchen scooted closer to try to chat, still, Janis didn’t even join in the conversation. She had no clue what they were even chatting about now. All Janis knew was that she wanted to eat so she wasn’t hungry, look at some toys at the store and go home with Regina to cuddle.

Gretchen frowned, handing the Hawaiian a peppermint candy. Janis took it hesitantly but smiled before she returned to finishing up her food. “You guys want a ride home?” Gretchen asked.

“I’m uh, taking her to the toy store so you guys—”

Gretchen nodded in understanding, “I know. But I’m sure they don’t mind. They can take Aaron’s car home. Me and Karen will just follow along with you and Jay, drop you guys at yours after you’re done at the store.”

Regina hummed, “Okay, thanks, Gretch.”

“No problem.”

————

Their visit to the toy store was brief. Janis didn’t get anything from there, neither did she want anything. Once Gretchen had dropped them off at Regina’s, the blonde said goodbye to Karen and Gretchen before turning around to enter the house. Still, Janis remained absolutely silent.

Janis crawled under the covers immediately, Regina barely noticed the smaller girl moving around so quickly, so eager to be in the comfort of her girlfriend’s room.

“Wanna cuddle?” Regina asked, already knowing the answer would most likely be yes. Janis nodded, Regina opened up her arms and wrapped them around Janis, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “You’re okay, baby. I’ve got you.” A shaky whine fell from the smaller girl’s lips. Regina rubbed her back soothingly and tilted her chin.

“You’re okay, I promise, bubs.”

Janis chewed on her lips, brown eyes wide and glossed over, just looking into Regina’s bright blue eyes. Regina’s heart clenched as she held the girl’s face in her hand, thumb caressing her cheek. Janis gulped, trying her hardest not to burst into tears. A tear slipped anyway, and Janis hastily wiped it away.

“It’s alright, sweetie.” Regina assured, “You’re safe with me, hm?”

As Janis finally allowed herself to let go of the tears, Regina engulfed her in a hug again. Janis’ face was smushed against Regina’s chest, tears seeping into her grey sweatshirt. All Regina could do was hold her close and let her know she was there. Regina knew the week’s been exceptionally difficult. Both in school and at home, Janis was also due to get her period in about a week. So all things considered, Regina couldn’t say she wasn’t expecting something like this to happen. She was simply glad that the girl now had a safe place to destress, and heal, or cope.

Sometimes, Regina was filled with guilt. Knowing she likely had a part to play in Janis’ regression. But she was also relieved in a way, age regression was a much safer coping mechanism than many others out there. Still, Regina knew Janis self-loathed and isolated until she couldn’t take it. Then…this happens. Janis would reach her limit and revert to a younger state. One where she was young enough to not have gone through any of the bad things, any of the trauma.

Sometimes, like these ones, they had a specific routine. Janis would cry it out then they’ll continue snuggling. After that, Janis would fall asleep to one of her favourite movies in the safety of Regina’s arms. Other days were…easier. Janis was happy and simply wanted to play. There’ve been times were Janis cried so hard she’d get a coughing fit, gagging and all. That made Regina feel the worse because Janis would be inconsolable, but Janis didn’t really know how else to express it other than cry.

“Do you wanna watch a movie?” Regina asked once Janis’d stopped crying.

“No.” Janis blubbered, voice still shaky and muffled since her face was still buried in the taller girl’s side.

“Okay, that’s okay.” Regina said softly, “What do you want?”

Janis only cried harder and buried her face deeper. Regina shushed her and continued the soothing motions of her hand up and down Janis’ back. Eventually, Janis fell asleep for a bit, and woke up asking for a snack. Regina took her downstairs to the kitchen, allowing Janis to pick what she wanted to eat and drink. Janis happily took the mini pack of chocolate chip cookies and a juice box from Regina then plopped on the living room couch to eat. Regina smiled in relief, quickly joining her and turning the TV on, putting on Tinkerbell.

Now, the silence was comfortable. So, Regina allowed herself to be less on alert but still stayed focused and present. In case Janis needed her help grabbing anything, or if she wanted to shower.

“…’m okay.”

“I know, my love.” Regina smooched her on the head again, “I know.”

“…thank you, Reggie.”

“Always, little one.” Regina chuckled, “I love you.”

Janis giggled, “Love you too.”

“How about some hot cocoa?”

Janis gasped, “Oooh. Yes, please!”

“Alrighty, let’s go make some. Then we can watch some more TV.”

🏷️Tag list:

@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @ludoesartandstuff @pda128

[loveydoveymerrillsabrae]

Regarding Harding's romance,

One of the few non-negative ideas that lingers with me after completing Veilguard is Harding and Rook's post-sex discussion. Harding, leaning against Rook, looks them in the eye and asks if they're real. If they're the same Rook she met months earlier. Considering how fondly she remembers Cole, what we learn of spirits and creation myth in Veilguard, plus the several weeks Harding spent not knowing what happened to Rook in Solas' fade prison... I think that's a fair question to ask. When Rook confides in her, telling her about seeing Varric's visage due to Solas' manipulations, her mind draws a connection to the person in front of her. If a ghost clung to Rook all this time, is it possible it's happening to the rest of them now too? What if Rook was dead alongside Varric and the warmth she feels is an imitation? I'm rather iffy on most of Harding's romance plot (it's a bit too quirky for my taste) but I genuinely think she raises an interesting point there. It's a shame we don't get to explore that because of the literal endgame afterward. Ever since I played Origins, I've always contemplated the idea that the Warden could've become possessed at any point in the story (at their harrowing, in the sloth demon's prison, while saving Connor, at Andraste's crucible). I find myself in a similar predicament - obviously Veilguard doesn't play out this way as you delve through Solas' prison of regret, but could Harding be right? She wished every day to see Rook - she feared for their soul and stubbornly held onto hope they were still alive. What if a spirit heard her pleas and felt such compassion it came to heal her woes? Orrrrr what if one of the many spirits Solas attracted felt something so strongly in Rook that it became the idea of them? Rook wasn't able to cope with their companion and Varric's deaths, so it kept moving forward to finish what Rook started? I don't know how that'd affect the story if it were possible, but I do find the thought of it interesting. A false Rook, a spirit lying beside her, soothing Harding after weeks of grief... Hmm. Something to ponder...

[nightcxty]

keep your biphobic shit takes out of the goddamn kerry eurodyne tag i beg of y'all

[oreegaanoo]

Once again I am fueled by comments from my thesis supervisor and feel like I can actually do this thing hell YEAAAAHHHH

I CAN WRITE THIS THING!!! I CAN DO IT!!!!! AAAAAAAHHHH

[bisexualamy]

.

[todayisafridaynight]

lit cannot stress how much fuckability masato lost after becoming aoki like emo death is real and its so so tragic

[alistairs]

.

[elytrafemme]

i'm starting to wonder if therapy is going to be productive because no matter what happens i'm probably going to experience this every night of my fucking life

[arrow-guy]

.

[favroitecrime]

listen to me. listen to me very, very carefully. they are very much aware the youth know what they’re doing. they know that college kids globally are protesting. they also know the government is willing to kill those people for protesting. they’re not using major US events to distract them completely. they’re using US major events because, on social media, it creates noise louder than any bombs they could drop. the people in the encampments are NOT the ones posting, obviously. it’s the people who aren’t part of those encampments. it’s people who do not care to disengage with discussing an event well-known for giving people the chance to trash celebrity fashion.

they know the world cannot be distracted, but they know they can get away with just about anything so long as they get the timings right enough for all of it to fly under the radar and stay hidden behind useless headlines.

[dilfosaur]

well i haven't spilled my guts on tumblr since i was in college but it's the platform that's felt The Most Mine thru the years, so

let's talk!

i've had a huge chip on my shoulder that i wanted off before the year ends. very bad professional experience to follow

so firstly to get ahead of the speculating, i'm not naming names or anything. some of you will puzzle out who i'm talking about, but please don't bother anyone especially not on my behalf. i've worked hard to distance myself from them the past few months. shit happens, especially when you're a dumb bitch (that's me!)

but also this person was someone i considered a close friend and it makes me uneasy to possibly direct backlash at them. "then why post about it" bc i did intermittent work for them for over a year. this is just about that. so hear me out

basically it started off fine. i initially did some commission work for good pay, then was invited to become more involved with their team. unfortunately as i became more involved with their operation it became more disorganized over time. projects started then forgotten, constantly shifting schedules, lapsing communication between roles, confusing financials, and often inconsistent if not late payments. during mid 2023 i was doing colorist work, sometimes on a one day turnaround (all while also preparing drawfee's summer merch launch). the payroll wasn't set up correctly so i wasn't paid for that work for over a year (more on that later), tho to be fair that was largely my own fault at first as i just didnt realize the payments didn't go thru lol

i always consider myself decently capable of separating friendship and coworker-ship; i run a company with 4 wonderful friends, going strong for almost 5 years. that didn't really work out in this case. by early this year our friendship was on the rocks; work issues fed into personal issues and vice versa. so as the rest of this shit plays out, we had just had our first "big fight" which i felt very bad about and added to all the upcoming tension

a huge point of friction was the fact that i really wanted to work with them to make a music video for one of their songs. i've always wanted a chance to make a music video, was confident in a concept i came up with, and even did some concept art for the idea. everyone insisted they loved the concept and that we should do it, but we kept pushing it back for various reasons. it ended up becoming a huge sticking point for my frustrations, which i tried to express productively. TLDR, we eventually got around to discussing it seriously around april.

i planned to ask for $4000 with negotiable add-on for the whole project, which was my Friend Discount price. i was offered a contract for $1000 flat rate, as they insisted that was the only budget they had for it.

don't ask me why i signed it lol. i didn't even counter offer

there was some girlmath to it: i wanted an extra 1k for a student scholarship i provide every spring and well, there it was. but if i had to guess, i saw it as something i just couldn't back down from any more. i caused these folks- my friends- a lot of problems bc i dug my heels in so deep to chase this project, so fuck it we ball

i had about 4 months to solo a 3 minute music video. they wanted it done in august so they could release it before summer ended, bc "it was a summer song". to be fair i was asked if i needed them to pay for anything extra like assistants (which i would have to find and manage) but i was so immediately overwhelmed that i didn't wanna slow down to wait on that process lol. there was very minimal communication other than brief progress check-ins every few weeks. i did everything for that project myself: the original concept, character designs, storyboards, layouts, backgrounds. i even did the editing/compositing for the final cut of the MV. the only favor i did myself was limiting the amount of it that was actually animated to simple loops and motions. hardly my best work but it was work still done

i did it all in between my full time job. i ended up having to take nearly a month away from most of my drawfee duties (with the support of the others) to make the august deadline. i only ever asked for a 3 day extension (notice given about a week in advance, around the same time i was given the final song file lol). i finished the music video at 6am on the final deadline and recorded drawfee the next day on 2 hours of sleep

but it was done, coolies. the team was very happy with the final product. honestly, without getting into it, those were a very emotionally taxing 4 months. on the professional side, i regretted agreeing to the project and especially for the dogshit rate they offered. i felt like a hypocrite- as someone who always wanted to advocate for younger artists demanding their worth in a world that's getting increasingly hostile toward creatives, i failed myself

so when i met with the manager to discuss the release plan, i told them to do whatever worked best for them as i only had one request: i wanted my credit removed from the project

tbh... like... lmao this dramatic bitch right!! but really, i decided that bad practices only breed worse business. friends or not, it was unprofessional of me to accept such a low paying job so i just didn't want my name used in association. everything felt so muddled to me and i was just really tired at this point

the manager was very understanding and then offered that i could be paid more. they said that their team "was surprised" i accepted their low rate and they would be happy to up the amount. this confused me as the initial budget seemed pretty set and at no point between april and august was i offered a better rate. i knew these guys weren't made of money. so, i declined. i didn't want to put anyone out of their means over work that was already done and agreed upon. but more importantly, i was over the whole thing and didn't want to prolong the project with a contract renegotiation. i just insisted my name be removed

they decided to use a pseudonym (which i was fine with) so they could create a story about a character who made the MV (this sounds really convoluted but i don't know how better to put it without getting specific, sorry). that way if people asked about the credit, they could speak comfortably about it without signaling that something went wrong behind the scenes. ok, kind of a silly narrative imo but whatevs. and maybe this is where i finally went truly wrong but. yolo i guess

i gave the name "D. Smithee", D as in dilfosaur and Smithee as in Alan Smithee. look it up for fun film trivia ig! was it passive aggressive of me to reference that in this context? yeah, honestly. but i thought it was kinda funny and really not that deep. if it was a problem, i have other real, non-cheeky pseudonyms i regularly use. the manager accepted it and all i had to do was wait for them to post the video and i could leave the whole experience behind me

a week later i received a message from the manager that my pseudonym had been denied by the rest of the team bc one of them got the reference. fair enough lol. however, they decided that rather than ask for a different name, the were going to make one up for me that they liked and would "fit the [story]", without asking me

and that! is when i finally snapped!

i was so tired of giving them concessions at this point and having a credit made up for me without any input from me felt genuinely violating and unethical. i started to Panic bc of how stressed i was, and asked for my overdue payments (aka the $500 still owed on the MV, and the colorist rate from a year prior that was never paid even tho i reported it in january) to be scheduled ASAP as i was leaving the work discord immediately

i finally told them off for exploiting me throughout the months while i kept trying to just be nice and finish my contact cleanly. in return i was told that it was unfair to say that as i agreed to everything- i accepted their cheap rate and denied further payment so that was all settled, and it was ok to change my credit without my consent bc i "said they could do whatever with the release". i called bullshit, ended the convo as kindly as i could, and cried lol. they agreed to ditch the pseudonym and just give no credit. that night was the last i heard from anyone on that team

and the real kicker?

august came and went. then september, october... and they never released the music video

and i don't know why, because i was never contacted about it. i've been removed from the picture entirely i guess. 4 months and boatloads of stress. just. up in smoke. i don't know what i expected honestly

it's hard to not take everything that happened personally and as done in bad faith. i really do, honestly. i've had plenty of shitty deals in my almost 10 year art career, but it hits different from people you saw as friends. but to the point of "why not keep it private", i have never felt so disrespected as a professional as i did this past year. i can toy with money and credits and other formalities all i want, but my work- my ideas, my labor, my effort- is still so important to me. i felt like the biggest idiot for doing so much work, pouring so much of myself into a piece for someone's use, for what has amounted to nothing

but more importantly i hated myself for undervaluing my work, even if initially i thought this person was a trusted friend. money is not really an issue for me- drawfee is my main job and i am fine and comfortable. it's so important to pay artists appropriately but i often undersell my own work bc i value the collaboration and passion between creatives more than the reward. i think a lot of artists tend to feel the same, and it often makes us easy to take advantage of. it's so difficult to find the balance between passion and making a fair living, and i think there's some shame within ourselves when artists choose to prioritize that passion

i wanted to finally get all this off my chest bc i was ashamed of every choice i made. things like this happen all the time i'm sure and hiding these mistakes only make it easier for it to happen to other people

tldr always value your work and protect your passion from people who just see it as a product. and don't give cheeky pseudonyms i guess lol

(and again pls don't bother anyone involved about this. a lot of chaos has left my life as i moved past all this, and this is me closing a door without opening new ones hopefully lol)

this shit was truly

so ass.

but i'm moving past it now

but on a nicer note. outside of all of this nonsense, i made lots of good memories this year. i'm truly so grateful to the many wonderful people in my life who keep me going even when i fuck up big time!

and thank you to all of you strangers who, despite everything, give me the time of day. especially if you read this whole thing. you're a real one :')

happy new year!

[justliched]

just saw someone on the forums try to make the argument that suicide awareness & prevention advertisements are not appropriate for the site, i can only assume because they are not "child-friendly"?

i hope this isn't something FR has promised to report to hiveworks in the past? i don't know how to tell people this but children also struggle with suicidality? you know the point of suicide awareness & prevention, hotlines for such, etc. is to reach people who may be struggling with it, and that saying "no suicide is bad it doesn't belong here" is actively preventing it from reaching who it needs to?

and i don't want to hear a single person say "it's a triggering topic." yes and what do we do in the face of triggering topics? we ask people to put a warning at the top so we can avoid as best we can. we don't ask people everywhere to stop talking about suicide ever, because not talking about it is a huge part of the problem (though not the entire problem). an ad that says "having thoughts of suicide? crisis support is available 24/7" is not doing anything more than a warning for a discussion of suicide would. if you are triggered by simply seeing the word "suicide" in a suicide prevention ad in the sidebar, i'm sorry, i do empathize, that really sucks. i've been there! the solution is not to ban all suicide prevention campaigns. refresh the page or close the tab to get away from the triggering word, and take the steps necessary for you to manage your own health crisis, which only you know how to do best - don't deny organizations the tools necessary to do their outreach to help other people manage theirs.

if anything the only argument to be had here is that this is an ad for the veteran's crisis line, and children certainly don't tend to be veterans, but i don't think something being for veterans inherently makes it anti-child-friendly so long as it's not, you know, a pro-military ad. i'm as anti-military as they come and part of being anti-military is recognizing that much of the disabled & unhoused population in the US is made of up veterans who don't get the support they need because no one fucking does unless you can buy it. and that some of those veterans, and their kids, inhabit places on the internet! wild!

anyway veteran stuff aside, because the person in question didn't even mention it ("i got a suicide ad") and ultimately who cares when it's phrased like that, suicide prevention is needed for all ages. we talk about it in public schools, ideally in homes and among close friends (though often not, which is why further prevention, awareness, and intervention is needed), and i can't say the same now because i don't watch television now but at least when i was a teen in FR's demographic, mental health & suicide was even talked about in ad breaks & campaigns on television. some of those are responsible for keeping people i know alive today.

so i'm going to log off now because i've made myself emotional and i recognize that, but genuinely what the fuck.