#your IQ drops down to 40

[ornii]

I have a funny/cute ask for you.

Wednesday somehow managed to fall in love but refuses to compromise any other part of herself. Except one thing: she is the most competitive at the arcade, especially the claw game.

Wednesday Addams does not come in second place.

A Great idea, so here’s: A Game of Life and Death! (Not Really)

Summary: Wednesday likes the crane game, she really likes the crane game.

Wednesday Addams hates a lot of things, Human interaction, Color, Bright things, sometimes you. While you two were obviously dating, she still wasn’t as content with the hugs and kisses you sometimes delivered, still a bit afraid she’s going to bite back. But having a terrifyingly high IQ, you were able to deduce her bluffs which also intrigued her to a certain degree. It all eventually came to a head as a new arcade was opening in Jericho after a few, disasters which included the near death of all students.

Entering the Establishment, like a dark cloud Wednesday was at your side. You two analyzed the room to the machines and games.

“It’s a Nerds Wet dream, isn’t it?” You say with a smile, Wednesday could see how oddly content you were within this place. “I suppose I could understand the appeal for someone of your intellectual feats, yet I still find it abysmal.” She says you casually adjust your glasses a bit higher and motions for her to lead.

“Please, the pleasure is all mine to show you the amazement of video games.” You say and show her around, arranging the clsssic video games, Dig Dug, Contra, PAC MAN. She’s never even seen Pac-Man before. You stand there, rambling on about how Pac-Man revolutionized games and the importance of preserving old games for future generations, and as expected Wednesday just stares into your eyes, she wasn’t very interested in video games or any sort, but she saw the joy in your eyes and as much as she despises joy and such emotion. She couldn’t bear take it from you, but something did catch her eye.

“(Y/n), Mi Amor… what is that?” She asks, and toy Turn your head to see what she’s looking towards and it was a crane game, the crane itself was dressed up like a ravens claw, and the gifts were also very creepy to boot, of course she’d love it. She walks over to it and softly presses her palm again the cold glass, you walk up behind her, seeing both of your reflections.

“It’s a Crane Machine, you use the controls to maneuver the claw to grab the items, standard cash grab game.” You say, “Wanna play?” You say, and show off a large sack of quarters you’ve been saving up, Wednesday scoffs. “Id never subscribe myself Go such mindless drivel.” She says.

An Hour and a Half Later

Wednesdays eyes were glued to the Glass as her hands angrily moved the crane hand around, her jaw clenched as she has spent around 40 bucks worth of quarters. You leaned against the crane watching her obsession slowly burn away her sanity, but as if by the luck of god himself she got one, the crane reaches down and clenches a small black heart plush and lifts it up, Wednesdays watches intently as if drops it down the hatch and to her feet, she takes it, and clenches it hard.

“I.. I did it…” she says, you chuckle and pat her shoulder. Leaning over her shoulder, “Yeah, I’m proud of you Babe. Can I play now?” You ask, Wednesday side steps, as Victory has never tasted so bitterly good for her.

“Of course, I doubt you have the ability to seal the qualms of fate that I have in order to obtain—“ she rambles on, until you insert one quarter, and effortlessly win a plush black bear for her. You hand it to your girlfriend with the most bittersweet smile. She takes it, absolutely speechless.

“Eh? I guess you could say my love for you is Un-bear-able, Eh? Eh?” You say, she looks down at the bear for a few moments but what was probably eons for her, and for the first time in your relationship she looked at you with such terrifying hatred in her eyes. This is the first time you’ve seen her genuinely Mad. She, without much effort tears the bears head off.

“Wednesday?” You ask, your voice shaking a bit as she slowly steps closer and closer to you.

“How? How did you do it?” She says with such scorn in her voice, I’ll vitriolic poison.

“W-what Are you talking about?” You say, slowly backing away as she approaches.

“Your infectious little game, you easily won this bear while I fought tooth and nail inside the gates of hell for this! And you laugh at me?” If words could kill you’d be burned to ash.

“Babe it’s not what you think, I’m just lucky..” you say and end up at the wall of the room, Wednesdays eyes were so devoid of emotion it felt like staring into the void of evil. You were prepared to accept your death, until you felt her palm aggressively grab yours.

“Weds?” You say.

“We, Are going to play, until I get another one.”

“But.. i thought you hated the game.” You respond and she walks with you.

“I refuse to be your lackey, I don’t do Second Place.”

“There’s no leaderboard for a crane game… babe I’m sorry it just comes easy…” you say, but she ignores you, and unfortunately you spend the rest of the day in a Crane game of Life and death. Which you still easily win.

The Day finally ends with you carting around a load of items Wednesday had won, after almost draining your life savings. But for the almost murder that occurred, you didn’t particularly hate it, and you just loved the time you spent with her, as you carry it into the dorm, Enid berates her with Questions and Wednesday answers calmly, but you could see the slightest smile on her face, which made it all with it.

Maybe you’ll bring her back next time, but, avoid the cranes next time.

[verfound]

WIPWed: Festering Folder Edition: Legally Blonde AU

@mintaka14 asked about the Legally Blonde AU, which the Disco witnessed the birth of and was briefly mentioned in the notes for "Move Like Jagged". So. Yeah. This is the latest crack AU I've been working on. 😂

See, for my last project for those unit classes I had to take for work, I was talking about different reasons conflict can pop up in your kitchen and how to deal with them. And one of the ways to deal with conflict is by staying positive - you can't control what other people do/what happens, but you can control how you react to it. And that got "Positive" from the Legally Blonde musical in my head, which got me thinking who would be who in a LB AU, and...it all just ran away from me so hard. We have a Plunny Adoption channel in the Disco, and I dropped it there because I did not want another WIP, and the next thing I knew I was 1700 words into the Bend & Snap scene and no one else had adopted the plunny come on guys. 😂

So. Yeah. This is happening. I'm maybe a third of the way through the outline with about three scenes fully written out. 😂

The setup: Marinette is an aspiring fashion designer in her senior year at UCLA. Her life is all set up: she's going to graduate and marry her perfect boyfriend Adrien Agreste, who's on his way to becoming a lawyer and future president of the United States. Everything's perfect until he suddenly dumps her, claiming he needs someone more serious. He moves back out East to start at Harvard in the fall, where he's now dating childhood friend and fellow Snobby Harvard Girl Kagami Tsurugi. Marinette realizes that if she's gonna get her man back, she's got to be someone serious, too - someone lawerly! Someone who wears black when nobody's dead! So Marinette follows him out to Harvard, where she's...let's face it. The laughing stock of the school. But with a little determination (and the help of her super sweet TA Luka Couffaine, who's convinced she's not as Dumb as the others paint her) she's going to show everyone she belongs there - and win her Adrien back in the process!

So Marinette's Elle, Adrien is Warner, Kagami is Vivian, and Luka is Emmett. I'm putting Gabriel as Callahan, with the idea that part of the pressure on Adrien is that his father is this super successful lawyer & professor at Harvard who's expecting him to follow in his footsteps. (Also there's a line in the finale of the musical that says "Warner quit / Says he makes more modeling anyhow!", so while he's at UCLA I have Adrien modeling on the side and he totally goes back to it. 😂) Mylène is Paulette and Ivan is Kyle (the UPS guy). Rose and Alya are Marinette's Delta Nu sisters/best friends, and Juleka is still Luka's sister; Rose and Alya come out and the end to cheer Marinette on at the final trial, where Rose and Juleka meet.

Jagged is Brooke. He's being accused of murdering Bob Roth, his former label owner. He's innocent, but he refuses to give Gabriel his alibi (he was...getting...botox). He was Marinette's neighbor back in LA, and she designed his favorite leather jacket - so he freaks when Marinette walks in with his Estranged Son as part of his legal team. Luka and Jagged have a...tenuous relationship. Jagged is Luka's father, and Luka used to love music/want to be a rocker. He toured with Jagged for a year or two when he was younger as his opening act, but it really disillusioned Luka to the Music Scene. So he ended up pursuing law (thinking he could get into the legal side of things, and Anarka's always in and out of jail anyway so she'll need a good lawyer?), and finds out he's good at it & really enjoys it? It wasn't the career he thought he'd have, but he's happy.

I'm still kicking stuff around & writing the outline, but that's the bare-bones. 😂 And as much as I love the LB movie, the musical is one of my favorites. There's...guh ok I'm not gonna start gushing on how perfect the musical is bc we'll be here all day. 😂 But it is absolutely perfect, and this AU is going to be a blend of the movie and the musical.

Case in point: the song "Take It Like A Man", where Elle repays Emmett by giving him a makeover. It's the scene where Emmett realizes he's fallen in love with Elle and absolutely adorable ("God, I love shopping for guys - watching them change right before my eyes!" "...stop watching me change.").

As for a scene y'all haven't seen yet...I think you've seen a handful of sentences from this one? It's all new for Tumblr, but I think I shared a few sentences on the Disco. 😂

“Hey, Luka, what are you doing tonight?”

Luka looked up, his eyebrows lifting at the smile Marinette was giving him. Her chin was propped in her hand, her eyes looking over him like…well, a little like she was undressing him, if he was honest, and he wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about that.

“Er…prepping for tomorrow?” he hazarded. “Big day in court? Opening statements? Have to make sure we’re ready so my dad doesn’t swing.”

She rolled her eyes, and then she rolled her chair over to his. He jumped when she laid her hands over his.

“You’re ready,” she said. She squeezed his hand, and he swallowed thickly as she continued to look at him like that. Why did his throat suddenly feel so dry? “Can we go somewhere? I…I want to do something. To thank you. For…everything, really. Please?”

“You don’t need to thank me, Marinette,” he said, wondering what exactly she had in mind. Maybe dinner? He was getting kind of hungry, and he’d be lying if he said he wouldn’t mind spending more time with her away from the law books…

“I do, though, Luka,” she said earnestly, squeezing his hand again. “You…you’re the only one who’s believed in me this entire time. You’ve done so much to help me, and…I just wanted to do something for you, too.” She took his hand and held it to her chest, pouting her lips and batting her eyes at him, and when had the heat kicked in? It was almost May – it shouldn’t be so hot in the old, draft library! “Please?”

“I…um…ok?” he finally squawked out. He cleared his throat when she hit him full-force with her mega-watt smile, hoping his face wasn’t as red as it felt as she squeezed his hand tighter. She gave an excited little squeal-giggle-bounce that had him smiling fondly. “What…what did you have in mind?”

“Well,” she said, releasing his hand and turning towards the table. She began gathering the files they’d scattered over the surface, tidying up. “You know I used to want to be a designer – you’ve heard Jagged go off about that coat.”

“His little frock star,” Luka snickered, and she gave him an exasperated little smile.

“If I had the time, I’d love to design you something,” she said, tapping the folders against the table to straighten them, She turned to him, hands on her hips. “But given we need you ready by tomorrow, that’s not possible. So, Luka Couffaine, I am going to give you…a makeover.”

That…was definitely not what he’d been expecting.

“Er…thanks?” he asked, because by the little hitch in his voice he was definitely asking, because he was definitely confused. A…makeover? But…why? Her expression fell a little, and he coughed as he reached up to loosen his tie. “I mean…it’s just…I didn’t think I needed one?”

And I was kind of hoping you’d suggest dinner?

“Luka,” she sighed, still exasperated. She grabbed his hands and hauled him to his feet before dragging him over to the fireplace. She gestured to the mirror sitting above the mantle, where he could clearly see his…ok, yeah, he looked a little disheveled, but they’d been in the library all day! He was expected to look rumpled! “Look at yourself.”

“I am,” he said, trying not to sound offended. She smoothed her hands over his shoulders, trying (unsuccessfully) to even out the wrinkles in his shirt. He tried to ignore the shiver that wanted to race up his spine at her touch. Focus, Couffaine, he thought. She sighed, turning him towards her, eyeing his clothes rather critically.

“Luka, you know I adore you,” she said, and he tried to ignore the way that made his stomach flutter, “but look at you. This is a high-profile, celebrity case. It’s going to be televised, and you’re going to show up looking like your only suit came from a Goodwill?”

“Hey,” he protested, weakly. He could feel the heat rising on his cheeks again. He looked at the floor and rubbed the back of his neck. “I have two suits, thank you very much, and only one came from Goodwill.”

He glanced up at her to find she had lifted one of those perfectly sculpted brows at him, and he grinned sheepishly before adding: “…the other came from Salvation Army.”

“Luka!” she laughed, squeezing his arms, and his grin warmed into a smile. He liked making her laugh like that. He… “That’s my point, you dork!”

Her laughter petered off, and she started fiddling with his tie. He glanced down at his outfit and tried to see her point, but he honestly thought he looked fine? Rumpled, sure, but that wasn’t anything a good tumble in the dryer or some ironing couldn’t fix. The gray slacks weren’t bad, and the white dress shirt with the thin, dark blue check matched his dark blue tie. Sure, his shoes were a little scuffed, but no one was going to be looking at his shoes. Marinette sighed again, and he looked back up at her.

“Luka, do you remember what I told you I did? Back at UCLA?” she asked. He nodded.

“You had a 4.0 in fashion merchandising,” he said, making her smile. “You wanted to design clothes.”

“So let’s just say this is something I’m actually good at,” she teased, and he frowned as he reached up to lay a hand over one of hers. He squeezed, making her look up at him.

“Hey…you’re good at this, Marinette,” he said. Her smile said she didn’t believe him, so he squeezed her hand tighter. “I mean it, Marinette. I may have helped you study, but all of this was you. You got Agreste’s internship all on your own. You went from the bottom to top of your class on your own. You put the work in, Marinette. You’re so incredibly smart, and you’ve got this…this…gift. You see things others don’t. You aregood at this.”

He wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting, but it certainly wasn’t for Marinette to throw herself at him in a bone-crushing hug. He stood there for a moment, dazed, but before he could move or think or respond she was already pulling away and wiping at misty eyes. She smiled up at him, and he wondered if it would be ok if he hugged her again. He kind of felt cheated out of the last one.

“Thank you, Luka,” she said, shaking her head to clear it. “Ugh, ok, but seriously! This is what I was originally good at – so let me shine, ok? Look. You’re good at this, too. You’re such a talented lawyer, and if Agreste gives you half the chance you’re going to blow them away in court – but no one’s going to be thinking about how brilliant you are if you show up looking like a bum. Luka, it’s…it’s me showing up to a costume party dressed like a bunny!”

He blinked at her, remembering all too well that night he’d bumped into her at the bookstore and she was dressed in nothing more than a one piece, bunny ears, and tail.

“The look is half the fight,” she said, taking his hands in her own. “Don’t give them a reason to judge you just because your shoes are old. Please? Let me buy you a suit. Let me do this for you, Luka.”

He still didn’t get it – not really, if he was perfectly honest – but when she looked at him like that…

“…ok,” he said, and the smile and second hug she gave him made it all worth it.

[avissapiens]

Avis' Subject Symposium

A Crash Course in Trance Pt 1: Files.

(Art by Acro @sodalite96/https://twitter.com/sodalite96 Used with their permission. Go check them out!)

So often new subjects come to me and they don’t know the first thing about trance. None of its mechanics or methods, and so it can be very daunting for them; to step into such a wide abyss without knowing what to expect and what is expected of you. Many of them, even experienced subjects, expect that 100% of the work is and should be done by the Hypnotist. In truth both parties, the hypnotist and the subject, must be willing and able. But while it’s more readily apparent what must be done in order for a tist to be successful in their endeavors, many subjects/potential subjects can have a hard time understanding what it takes to get the most out of their trance, both from pre-recorded files, and from live sessions with a hypnotist. So, I’m here to give you what is in my opinion, the essential Crash Course to Trance, starting first with trancing to files.

Location

Find yourself somewhere nice, darkened and quiet, where you know you won’t be disturbed. This is already a hard task for a lot of subjects, living with other people always increases the chance that one might barge in on you, eyes glazed over, drooling all over yourself. Or that someone’s reckless pounding from above might shake the abyss so thoroughly that it takes you out of trance. But here is the thing I will stress. While physical quiet is a good idea as it allows you to focus on the words and suggestions streaming into your head. What matters so much more is internal peace and quiet. A location where you can feel at ease and safe and secure in yourself. A locked bedroom surrounded by mountains of pillows. Your favorite plush armchair that threatens to swallow you almost as well as the Abyss of Trance. The peaceful morning route on the train whose path you know so well that you can be lulled into trance just by the rumbling vibrations of the tracks beneath your seat. Wherever you can be comfortable.

The ideal location for trance I'm sure does exist in some government facility or therapists office somewhere, where you can be dropped into an isolation tank and be brainwashed clean. But most of us will never encounter that. So what matters then is the ideal mindset for trance, which is one of peace, safety, trust and assurance.

Equipment

This is one of the reasons so many love using files. Because its barrier to entry is so low. All you really need is something to play the file on and a place to listen. This is in contrast to working directly with a tist where you need, at the very least, A good internet connection, maybe a camera, Another person who you trust and who might be wildly inconsistent. Or working in person which probably will require a whole location and time-table to get set up. No, Files are relatively simple and they are no better or worse than live sessions for certain purposes. However, like all simple things, they can be elevated by improving its ingredients. A box cake from the store and a home-made chiffon are functionally the same, but their difference comes in the ingredients and technique.

So for trance I recommend spoiling yourself a little, at the very least buy yourself some decent quality over-ear headphones. Many file-makers (myself included) add frequencies and binaural beats underneath the main track. These serve the purpose of training your own brain’s waveforms to a certain frequency, thus more easily taking you into trance. But they can only be detected and properly registered with some good headphones. Additionally, The encapsulation of headphones provides a more immersive experience, isolating you and transporting you through the trance experience like you are in your own little world. Trust me. $600 studio headphones aren’t needed, But a good quality wired $40 headset goes a long way and is multi-purpose. A decent quality chair or mattress also will serve you well, not just in trance but in life.

Focus

Trance is a very tricky state that, like all things, requires practice and patience to master. Staying in trance is like a tightrope walk, teetering gently between the realm of consciousness and awareness, and the oblivion of total subconscious and sleep. It is the liminal space between the two, that subconscious space that makes trance and hypnosis possible. It is the state where your mind is most open to total suggestion and where magical things can happen. So how does one walk the line between these two modes of being? The answer is focus. Or rather Half-focus. Focusing without focusing. With descriptions like that it can sound like some kind of Zen riddle, but that is often what it feels like sometimes. Now this is not a laser focus like you would expect in a classroom setting, no one is being tested here. It's a more gentle and subtle focus. Like focusing on the world around you. Focusing on the wind on your face, the rise and fall of your lungs; On the way your body just goes loose and slumps over. The trick is to go in and to follow along, to listen and pay attention and try to comply with the suggestions given at first. Suspend your disbelief and engage with it unironically and without pretense. If you notice yourself drifting, don’t try to force it back to focus. Simply let it explore where it wants and to carry on organically. Nothing in trance needs to be forced. Simply focused on and allowed to happen.

Many subs oscillate in trance, their minds ebbing and flowing like a Sine wave; wavering in and out of trance, one minute aware, the next minute completely blank and asleep, and then for a brief moment in bliss. But it averages out to trance at the end of it. One must also not fear dropping out of trance. Focusing too much on that eventuality makes it a self fulfilling prophecy. Just Focus-not-focus-half-focus and enjoy yourself.

Apprehension

So many subjects look at files and their mind begins to spin with endless questions and anxieties. Worries about “losing themselves” or “changing too much” or “doing things they don’t want to do.” It’s a valid set of concerns for a new subject, uninitiated in the true mechanics of trance and only knowing of hypnosis what is shown in the media. Evil villains and monsters brainwashing our heroes to do horribly enticing and arousing things. So ingrained is this idea that it even crossed over into the allure of hypnosis files. And while I won’t say it's impossible for that to happen, I have 3 comments on it to ease your mind. First, with Files, one of the best things about it is that the subject gets to control practically every single aspect of the experience. When you do it, how many times you listen, and whether you listen at all to begin with. While all files should be clearly labelled with Content and trigger warnings and given an explicit summary of what they are and what they do, we know that is not the case. The amount of “Mystery files” I've seen on various forums irks me to no end. But it appeals to some people. However, for those who are not particularly fond of surprises you have the absolute power to review the file before you trance to it. You can give it a fully aware walk through, or just jump through segments to look for anything that doesn’t suit your taste.

Once you’ve done that however you might still be conflicted about some content. Not openly averse to it, but unsure. Dumbing down and IQ reduction are probably number one on this list. People are so terrified of somehow losing everything when they learn to stop overthinking things. For these concerns my second point suggests Introspection. Ask yourself “Why do I/Don’t I want this?” “Is it really as bad as my anxiety is making it out to be?” Because if you like something a lot, and really want it, then why should you deny yourself it out of fear? Even aside from dumbing, many desires are tinged with this air of guilt or fear. Terrified to acknowledge or grab hold of what we truly want and own up to it. In my estimation Hypnosis can be one of the best ways of dabbling with those desires because in trance there is no shame or judgement. Finally, my 3rd point says you don’t have to worry. If you really don’t like a suggestion you can always leave it behind. Your mind has built in fail-safes to reject suggestions you haven’t agreed to. A file cannot make you do something unless you want it, at least subconsciously. The old cliche goes “All Hypnosis is Self-Hypnosis” and what that fundamentally means is that as a subject you are the one who decides what happens. You consent and go along with things and allow them to happen to you. It is your desire, your focus, your arousal and your own subconscious that allows hypnosis to work. Subjects have more power than they know. I really hope it assists some people in vibing better with trance and files. I’ll be putting out another version for Live hypnotists later this month.

Thanks again to Acro for letting me use their Art, definitely go and support them on twitter. And If you want to support the creation of more hypnotic experiences that might help you practice that balance of focus then you can do so by subscribing to my Patreon, or to my Youtube channel. And if you want to interact more closely with me and my supportive community you can join my Discord server.

[what-is-denial-if-not-fanfiction]

Where Charles accidentally becomes Peter's dad - AU? Is this as AU (maybe)

PART 1

-------

He hadn't meant to say it. Look, Peter tries, but sometimes (really, more often than not) his mouth runs faster than his mind and body could - and that's saying something.

He had only meant to go to the Professor to ask his permission to take the rest of the kids out. But of course his father just had to be there playing chess with the Professor. Suddenly, Peter was filled to the brim with anxiety - what if he messes up and makes his father think him a loser more than he probably already does? It was supposed to be a speak and go - but now ironically, when he finally decides to choose his words carefully - he meant to say, 'Hey Prof, can me, Scott, Kurt, Jubes, and Jeanie take your car to the mall?'

Instead, being too caught up in trying to avoid eye contact with Erik - he stared at the Professor dead in the eyes and accidentally blurted out, "Hey dad, can we borrow your car?"

The question was met with silence. The Professor was silently staring at him with confused eyes. While Erik promptly dropped the chess piece he was holding. Silence. Eerie, and uncomfortable, and thick. And while he could easily run away all the way from here to the next country in Mach 5, he is well aware that it won't save him from the impending doom and awkwardness he just caused.

The Professor, bless his heart, seemed to understand just what had happened, finally found his voice and decided to play along. "My car? To where?"

"To the mall. With Jubes, Scott, and ya' know the rest of us." He shrugs, might as well. He's long accepted that in all things Erik- related, his IQ goes down to 40-- maybe less.

So, while Erik continued to ogle back and forth at Peter and Charles, the Professor gave him the go and he decided to sell it even more by yelling "Thanks, dad!", as he zoomed out.

Oh God, how was he supposed to tell Erik now?

--

If you ask Charles how his day had been, he might tell you that it had been awkward and filled with questions, he definitely was not qualified to answer. But Peter, the poor boy - loses all sense of communication when Erik is anywhere within a meter near him. He wished that he could just tell Erik just who Peter was, if only to get it over with, but wishes need be granted.

So he played along, gave the go-signal and the boy ran out within seconds leaving the chessboard, and his office in disarray - as he yelled out a, "Thanks dad!"

Erik was staring at him so intently that he felt like Erik might have been hiding a secondary telepathic mutation this entire time. There would be questions to follow, that look Charles knew too well.

"I didn't know Peter was your son." Erik prompted.

And Charles was in no means, a religious man, but dear God, how in His name will Peter even begin to explain this to Erik now?

Part 2

[willsjuice]

INCORRECT ST4 QUOTES FROM THIS FUCKING WEBSITE LETS GO

STEDDIE:

eddie: What should I do?  steve: *holds out hand* May I suggest dinner with a friend?  eddie: Well, none of my friends are available, so I guess I'll have to go with you.

steve: You look good in that hoodie.  eddie: You know where else I'd look good?  steve, zero hesitation: My bed.  eddie, at the same time: By you're side- wait, what?

steve: So what are your political beliefs?  eddie, awkwardly trying to impress them: Well, I think Pikachu would be a lot more powerful if he had a gun.

eddie: *pulls back the curtain while steve is showering*  eddie: Hey did we - stop screaming it’s me - did we run out of Cheerios?

eddie, holding a kettle: Coffee or tea?  steve: Tea.  eddie: Wrong. It's coffee.

eddie: Do you care if I take the skin off this Furby?  eddie: I want to make him a god. Once he is free of his sinful flesh, he can begin a path towards enlightenment. He will take care of us.  eddie: I also want to softhack his circuits.  steve: I literally could not care less but never say anything as frightening as that ever again.

eddie: Change is inedible.  steve: Don’t you mean inevitable?  eddie, spitting out a bunch of pennies: No, I really didn’t.

steve, near tears: Please, eddie, I don’t speak meme! I don't know what a 'yeet' is!

eddie: *slams books down in front of steve*  eddie: Boil up some Mountain Dew. It’s gonna be a long night.  steve: You could of said literally anything else.  eddie: Cauldron boil and cauldron bubble, Baja Blast to fuel my trouble.  steve: I’m going to just stop challenging you when you say random shit. I won’t win. I realize this now

eddie: You know you've made it when you see your picture everywhere you go.  steve: Those are wanted posters!

steve: How would you like your coffee?  eddie: As dark and as bitter as my soul.  steve, shouting to someone behind the counter: I need one vanilla latte with extra cream and sugar!

steve: When I was young, I left a trail of broken hearts like a rockstar. I'm not proud of it.  eddie: You're kind of proud of it. You work it into a lot of conversations.

FRUITY FOUR TIME<33

robin : Your smile? It makes my day.  nancy: Your happiness? I live for that.  eddie: A room? Get one.  steve: Hotel? Trivago.

nancy: Count me in!  steve: Who the hell are you?!  nancy: Oh, you know my sibling! They worked at Wendy's.  steve: Oh yeah, eddie! How are they doing?  nancy: Oh yeah, not too good. They've been dead for the past month.  robin : What the hell, they didn't tell us!

steve: Everyone synchronise your watches.  eddie: I don't know how to do that.  nancy: I don't wear a watch.  robin : Time is a construct.

eddie: I love you.  steve: I love you too. I've waited so long to hear you say that.  *eddie and steve kiss passionately*  nancy, to robin : You owe me 20 dollars.

robin : Hah! 69! you know what that means?  nancy: What?  steve: That you're a child.  eddie: HOW YOU GUESS MY IQ?!?

eddie: Hi, could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire??  robin : Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔  nancy: Why were you microwaving a lemon???  robin : I read boiling lemons helps cover up up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges) but I didn't own any pots.  steve: Did you burn an orange too? How???  robin : Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔

steve: *falls down the stairs*  nancy: Are you okay?  eddie: Stop falling down the stairs!  robin : How’d the ground taste?

robin : Hey, I say we go down there, kick nancy’s door in, and let them know that we’re in town.  steve: That ain’t the way we do things here. We may have to go in there and run a con, drop a bug, do the smooth talking.  robin : Okay, you come with me, you do the smooth talking, let’s go.  steve: No, we just can’t go in there and kick down nancy’s door. We need a plan.  robin : Well who makes the plans?  steve: eddie.  robin : eddie, what's the plan?  eddie:You guys are gonna go down there, kick nancy’s door in, let them know you’re in town.

steve: Are you laughing at that video of eddie and nancy fighting?  robin : No.  robin : I'm laughing at the comments.

robin : LOWERCASE LETTERS ARE FOR THE LOWER CLASS!  eddie: And here we have a capitalist.  steve: Did you just-  nancy: Let us all take a moment to appreciate that all of human history, human language, and the universe itself aligned to make this joke possible.

nancy: Wake me up-  robin : Before you go go  steve: When September ends  eddie: WAKE ME UP INSIDE

*The squad is playing a team sport*  steve: Are you upset you don’t get to be on the same team as eddie?  robin : Have you ever played a game with eddie?  steve: No…  robin: Have you ever been trapped in a cage with a wolverine?  *Meanwhile, on the other side of the field*  eddie, chasing nancy: I SAID FASTER! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORD “FASTER” MEANS? IT MEANS MORE FAST!!!!

steve: Die.  robin : Please don't die!  steve: DIE!  robin : PLEASE DON'T DIE!  eddie, confused: Why are they yelling at a plant?  nancy, watching while eating popcorn: They bought it together and robin wants steve to accept it as their kid.

eddie: *tapping fingers on table*  robin : *taps fingers back furiously*  steve: …What’s going on?  nancy: Morse code. They’re talking.  eddie: -.-- ..- .-. / - …. . / -.-. ..- - . … -  robin : *slams hands on table* YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

robin: We need a way to lure in new customers?  nancy: Maybe we could have some fun, interactive events!  eddie: steve bath water.  steve : ABSOLUTELY NOT!

steve: I just found out from robin today that when eddie died and the service did the 21-gun salute at their funeral, nancy said, “They should aim at the coffin to be sure.”

steve: What do you want then?  eddie: Er… something work related.  steve: What department is this?  eddie: Sorry?  steve: Well, if it’s work related you’d obviously know what department this is. What department is this?  eddie: *looks at nancy and robin * Some sort of homosexual department?

*Everyone is playing a board game together*  steve: I will put 'A' down to make 'A'.  robin : I will add onto your 'A' to make 'AT'.  eddie: I will add onto your 'AT' to make 'RAT'.  nancy: I will add onto your 'RAT' to make 'BIOSTRATAGRAPHIC'.  eddie: *flips the board*

*Comments under an image of a really hot knife cutting bread*  steve: Imagine stabbing someone with this knife.  nancy: It would instantly cauterize the wound, so the person wouldn't bleed, so it's not very useful.  eddie: if you want information it is  robin : why would you STAB a person when you can have TOAST?

nancy: Where's eddie?  robin : Don't worry, I'll find them.  robin , shouting: steve sucks!  eddie, distantly: steve is the best person ever! Fuck you!  robin : Found them.

Kidnapper: I have your partner.  nancy: What? I don't have a partner...  Kidnapper: Then who just called me a lowlife bitch and spit in my face?  nancy: Oh my god, you have robin .

[princeescaluswords]

*puts on the funny looking hat of Fandom Logic* Lydia's banshee powers laid dormant so long and for why? Have you stopped to think how in that time, she suspiciously had Stiles obsessing over her? Knowing her measurements? That dastardly druid boy must have been siphoning her Banshee spark for years to try resurrecting his mom. And he never told her what she was! When he is a genius with a 200 IQ and an expert in all things Supernatural.

I look forward to your questions, because they always tend to make me smile.  This particular question demonstrates the same level of imaginative skill and, forgive me, projective paranoia that it took for various BNF to interpret Season 5B’s plot to mean that Scott conspired with Deucalion to trick Theo into murdering Josh and Tracy.  

You see, they can’t point to a single scene where Scott tells Deucalion to kill anyone.  They can’t point to a single scene where Deucalion kills anyone.  They can’t point to a single scene where Deucalion tells Theo to kill anyone.  They ignore the scenes where Deucalion mocks Theo for killing Josh and Tracy.  If you use the logic that Deucalion taught Theo how to take power, which is why Theo kidnapped him, and that makes Deucalion responsible, you still can’t connect that to anything Scott did or said.

You know what the difference is between your far-fetched theory of Stiles suppressing Lydia’s power and their paranoid fantasy that Scott ordered Deucalion to murder just Tracy and Josh, and not Corey or Hayden (with whom Deucalion was alone) or maybe even Theo?  Aside from canon characterization, canon plot, and common sense?  You don’t seriously mean it, and they do.

Oh, and the racism.  

On this post, all the usual suspects came and told me that not only are they not motivated by racism in their hatred of Scott, but they can’t be because Scott isn’t Latino.  Their argument?  Well, no one ever came out and declared that he was word-for-word on the show (though somehow the fact that Derek, Peter, Jennifer, Deucalion, Chris, Noah, Melissa, Stiles and Deaton all said that Scott is a good person and a True Alpha does not make that statement true).   

That’s all you need to see the racism.   Latinos must declare themselves as such, or they’re not.  The idea that to be a minority you must be written a specific way to be identified as a minority is in itself racist.  All you have to do is look and you’ll see the footprints of racism in this fandom, which they can deny and deny and deny, but the double standards are easily found and they show up in their meta and they show up in their fanfiction and their gifsets and their snide-ass comments they put in the #scott mccall tag on Tumblr.  There’s no other explanation for their interpretations but Scott’s not white.

I would love to hear the explanation of why it’s okay for them to write that Scott is responsible for Tracy and Josh’s death, while also writing that Peter cares for his family so much, especially when if you use their own arguments, Peter is responsible for Derek’s temporary death in Smoke & Mirrors (4x12).  Peter was in conspiracy with Kate just as much as Scott was in conspiracy with Deucalion and Chris, so it stands to reason if Theo, who was being manipulated by Deucalion, killed Josh so that makes Scott responsible, then if the Berserker, who was being manipulated by Kate, temporarily killed Derek, so that makes Peter responsible.  

You will most likely never hear this idea anywhere else.  You will most likely never read about Peter’s sheer disdain for his family.  Because while fandom likes to trumpet that it’s about exploring all possible combinations and deep reading, you won’t get this level of critical and accusative analysis about hot white men. 

To them, that’s not racism.  After all, Peter’s a villain!  And Derek and Chris are as well in the first two seasons.  The answer, of course, is to look seriously at the way they treat some hot white male non-villains.  

Let’s look at how these supposedly better white male characters treat women.  Stiles is prepared to make out with Lydia when she’s drugged up to the gills, shouts at her until she dances with him, spends an entire weekend waiting for her in a hospital, buys her a ridiculous amount of gifts for her birthday, among other expressions of romantic attraction.  Isaac, on the other hand, wants to kill Lydia because she turned him down for a date, assaults Allison on Derek’s orders, and becomes sexually attracted and romantically involved with Allison who hunted down his packmates and stabbed him a lot.  But I’ve never seen a single of one of these anti-Scott BNF call Stiles or Isaac ‘sexually obsessed!’  That’s only Scott  who embodies for them the Latin Lover stereotype and who is excoriated in fan fiction and on Tumblr for the singular and unheralded crime of paying attention to his girlfriend.

I don’t know what the difference is, but apparently, it’s not racism.

Or how many of the hundreds (if not thousands) of stories have you read where Stiles shuns, punishes, strips Scott of his wolf with his super-duper magical powers, or literally kills Scott because he demonstrated his disloyalty and unworthiness by not submitting to Derek and/or Peter?  Yet, there may be one or two stories in the nearly 120,000 Teen Wolf fanfictions on AO3 where Stiles reacts at all to Isaac abandoning Derek (and disliking Peter) and joining Scott’s pack.  If  fanfictions are transformative, and it’s only natural that they create stories where Stiles acts as the avenging angel for the poor widdle Hales, there would have to be stories where he avenges them against Isaac.  Wouldn’t there?

I’d bet there are less than five, but apparently, it’s not racism.  

And then there’s the terrible, terrible Neck Grab o’ Doom which is brought up again and again in fiction and commentary, which Fanon Stiles cannot stomach (even though canon Stiles argued for leaving Derek in the hands of his rapist).  To them he must end his friendship with Scott over this dastardly crime, motivated as it was by pure animus (which is what they’re calling the threat of Scott watching Allison’s throat get ripped out).  Scott was working with Gerard under duress, but to Stiles, that’s irrelevant.  They can’t be around each other anymore.  How many stories are there about this, do you think?  Now compare that to the number of stories where Stiles drives Liam from the pack for his beating Scott to the point of death while working with Theo.

I’ve never seen one.  Stiles is far more interested in who Liam is dating, but apparently, it’s not racism.

I can go on and on and on and on, and point out that these aren’t 40-60 splits.  The preponderance of stories where Scott is held reprehensible for actions that white characters take and ignored without comment are incredibly lopsided, overwhelmingly in favor of turning the Latino hero into a monster while Stiles, Liam, and Isaac are “baby” who must be excused for their mistakes.  

But Scott was written so badly!  These BNF cry.  Then where are the fix-its?  If the story was so unsatisfying, and fanfiction exists to give us what canon didn’t, where are the fix-its where the story is written to give us Scott as a hero they can get behind.   

Oh, they exist, but just with stories that approach white character’s misdeeds, they are in the extreme minority.  The vast majority of fix-its aren’t about correcting the mistakes the production made in the presentation of the main character, they are about saving the Hale family or making sure that Derek stays alpha or telling how Stiles dropped his life-long loyalty to his best friend and switched to either of the Hot White Hales, either the middle-aged serial killer or the young adult would-be serial killer, overwhelmingly.   And above all, Scott is put in his place - dead or unimportant or subservient or any combination of the three.

They don’t dislike Scott because he’s Latino, they’ll repeatedly tell you, even though he shares traits with every single white non-villain character on the show, even though the show is focused on his growth and the traits that he doesn’t share with them.  Not at all.  They dislike him because ... they dislike him!   And instead of fixing what they don’t like about him, they’re going to demonstrate how much they don’t like him by repeating again and again just how ... bad he was.  Remember, the transformative nature of fandom is to give us what the show didn’t.

And apparently, this is not motivated by racism. 

[the-record]

Love at First Sight

Hey! This is my first fic so please don't come at me for the absolutely horribleness of it bc I suck at writing. (Also if you notice mistaken in the beginning its bc I’m writing on my phone bc I’m to lazy to get my laptop)

Category: FLUFF ABSOLUTE FLUFF

Warnings: None (In this part.)

Spencer Reid x Fem! reader

A/N: Hey! This is a totally fluff slow burn. There will be multiple parts bc I suck that way. Enjoy!

Part 2

You stop right outside the doors, an old gym bag and a cardboard box in hand. You were totally qualified for this job, a masters in criminal psychology and a PhD in forensic science. Not to mention your IQ of 185 and photographic, more properly eidetic, memory. Yet as you stood outside the glass doors of the bullpen, your heart was racing and you felt like you were going to pass out. As you were about to open the doors you hear a voice and a hand grabs it for you.

"Hey, careful there, might drop you stuff." You look up to see a tall, dark, muscular man staring down at you. You smile at him and nod.

"Thanks." He nods as you walk through the doors. "Hey, do you know where Agent Hotchners office is?" You turn around to face him as you ask your question.

"You must be Emily's replacement. Just up the stairs, his door is open. Good luck." As you flash your smile as a thank you, he turns away to his desk and you walk up the stairs, knocking at the door in front of you.

"Come in." As he looks up at you, he shows a slight smile but not much. "Ah, SSA Y/L/N. Please sit down, you can put your stuff on the floor next to you." You set the box and bag inches away from the chair that you sit in. "Now, normally I would brief you on the job, but as you worked in the New York office before and we have a case, that will have to be put on hold. Welcome to the team, you will fit in nicely." You smile at him as he stands up to lead you to where they would brief the case.

You have finally started to calm down, but as you walk through the whole team stares at you, apart from a man sitting reading a book.

"Good morning, sorry for the early start. This is SSA Y/N Y/L/N. She will be starting today." As you bite on you cheek a kind voice speaks up.

"Hi, I'm Jennifer but you can call we JJ. Welcome to the team." She gives you a warm welcoming smile and you return with yours.

"Derek Morgan." It's the man who opened the door for me just minutes ago. "Good to put a name to a face." Your smile doesn't fade, you feel welcomed for once, and thankfully it's not a boys club.

"David Rossi." You look up excited at the man introducing himself.

"Wait, really? I have read your books, you are a great writer." He chuckles as you look at him, remembering the lines from his book.

Before he can say anything else a peppy, bright colored women steps in. "Well hello! You must be Y/N. Good to meet you! I'm Penelope Garcia but you can really call me whatever. I think you will make wonder boy over there have a run for his money." You look at her confused. "Sorry dear, I may have read up on you, I do it for every new addition to our team. You laugh a little as she says this.

"Baby girl, what do you mean by Reid is gonna have a run for is money?" She looks at him.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you guys. Y/N over here is incredibly smart. What an IQ of 185 and eidetic memory? And I think it said you can read 16,000 words per minute, right?" You smile and nod. You have always been very proud of your gifts but never boasted about them, that's unkind.

"Well well well pretty boy," The man reading the book finally looks up as Derek ruffles his hair. "Looks like you might need to move aside as resident genius. Go ahead, tell the girl about yourself." He looks up at you. You try not to blush as he looks at you, the most handsome man you have ever seen.

"Uh hi. I'm Dr. Reid. Spencer. I have an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory, and can read 20,000 words per minute." You two are so alike but so different. Your talents are similar but your personalities are definitely different. He barely looks up from his book and speaks softly, while you look people in the eyes when talking and are a loud talker, something you need to work on.

"Well, I guess you guys are right. Watch out Dr. Reid, I might just steal the spotlight." In his eyes you did that the moment you walked in. He had looked up for a moment but got shy when he saw you. And when he heard how Penelope had spoke of you, he could barely contain a smile.

"Ok, Garcia go ahead." You sit down next to JJ as she points to the empty seat next to her.

"Portland Oregon. A dj name Jay Johnson was on his way home after leaving the club. He was cutting through an alley when bludgeoned by a club. He was stabbed 31 times and his watch, cell, and computer were stolen. That was 2 days ago." As she continues you read the case file in front of you, quickly getting in all the details.

"Early this morning a Karen Heywood a 30 year old nurse, she died during a home invasion being stabbed 40 times after being bludgeoned by weapons of opportunity." You look at her.

"The file says that there were 8 weapons."

"So we are looking for a group?" Rossi speaks up.

"Most likely, we only have 9 hours until night fall. We can discuss more on the jet. Wheels up in 10." You stand up as Hotch finishes talking. JJ grabs your arm.

"Hey, slow down. Sit." You look at her confused and slowly sit down. "I saw you blushing at Reid." Your jaw drops as she says this.

"I was not!" She looks at you brows raised and smiling.

"Don't even deny it. I saw it with my own eyes, but be warned, Derek and Garcia will make fun of you if you don't stop being so obvious about it." I smile and walk away to go get my stuff only to see Derek carrying it to a desk.

"Oh. Thanks." He smiles at you.

"No problem kid." You grab your bag and head to the jet following the rest.

***

After Hotch finishes and we are all left to do what we want I go to sit by Spencer noticing the book he is reading. "Do you like Arthur Conan Doyle?" He is reading 'The Narrative of John Smith' a classic.

"Hm? Oh, uh yeah. You know his books?" You smile and nod.

"I love them. My favorite writings of his are the Sherlock Holmes ones, I'm a kid at heart, what can I say." He laughs a little closing his book. "Oh I didn't mean to interrupt you. You can keep reading. I was actually going to come over and read too I just-" He stops you talking.

"No, no you're fine. I was just finishing it anyways." You smile at him, your face starting to burn. "I was going to get some coffee, do you want anything?" You nod.

"A green tea would be nice."

"You know green tea is really beneficial. It helps improve brain function, helps prevent cancers and type 2 diabetes, can help with weight loss, sorry. I tend to ramble." You smile at him.

"No, don't worry. I do the same. Continue. Please." He smiles and continues but you don't listen. You're to busy looking at his features. Beautiful honey gold eyes that could put you in a trance. His hair was wavy but well kept. His cheek bones and jaw were strong. All you could think about was him.

"Y/N?" Oh shit, you had been practically ignoring him. "Are you ok?" You nod.

"Yeah sorry, just spaced off." He lost his smile. "Oh, Spen- Dr. Reid, it's not you. I just tend to space off a lot, ask any of my friends and family." His smile came back to his face. It's your favorite thing about him.

"I will got get you that tea. Honey?" You nod.

[agentofscifi]

Super Genius Marinette Ch. 2

I hand the taxi driver a few American bills as payment just after he sets down my bags on the sidewalk. I was right in front of the Avengers building, which had a small collection of reporters outside of it. The man smiles as he pops back into his car. I give him a small wave as he drives off. Swinging my backpack over my shoulders and I take both of my bags by the handle, wheeling up to the door. The reporters, for some reason, didn’t seem to notice me until I was typing my password into the keypad by the door.  

“Ma’am? Who might you be and what business do you have with the Avengers? Are you with the other children who have been seen entering this building?” A darked haired woman is holding a mic out to me, her cameraman fixating on my face.  

I shrug as the door opens up on its own. “There will be a press conference later this summer to answer all of your questions. That is all I will say for now.”  

I wheel my bags through the door, leaving behind the small gaggle, who were still attempting to ask my questions. A few of the workers on the bottom floors look at me weirdly as I pull my bags into the main elevator.   

“Hello FRIDAY, how are you?”  

“Very well, Ms. Stark. Your father is located on the communal floor, would you like to go there first, or visit your floor?”  

“The communal floor, please.”  

“Of course.”  

I pull up my sunglasses from my face and quickly pull out my phone. I sent a quick text to my parents back in Paris that I arrived at the tower. As The elevator dings at the floor, I tuck my phone back into my back pocket and grab both of my bags. I walk out the door into the general floor, high heels clicking on the tiles. Several heads whip around and look at me from the couches.  

“Crap.” One of the men, Clint Barton, groans. “Tony, your security sucks! There’s another Captain America fangirl up here?  

I raise an eyebrow. “Ok, first of all, I am not a Captain fangirl. He puts up a good fight, but he needs some serious wardrobe help.” Said man flushes at my words. “Secondly, the security is fine here, I helped set it up. Thirdly,” I look up at the ceiling. “Friday?”  

“Yes?”  

“Where is my Dad?”  

“Right here, my little genius!” My father practically runs me over as he goes to hug me.   

The people at the couches stare. “You have a kid?   

I pear over my father’s shoulder. The collection of Avengers were all staring at us with gobsmacked expressions. “Yes, he does. Who’s asking?”  

One of the guys sticks his arm up. “Sam Wilson. When did this happen?”  

“14 years and 364 days ago.”   

Sam Wilson stares at me with wide eyes, “So, you’re 15 tomorrow?”  

“Yup.”  

“Are you French?” Steve Rodgers decided to pop into the conversation at this point.   

“Yes, well not technically. Dad,” I gesture to my father, “is American. My Mom is from China, she moved to France to study baking. She married my Papa who’s ½ French. I did grow up in Paris, however.” Rodgers nods.  

Thor puts a large hand up. “Does this mean the other younglings here are your children too?”  

Dad sighs. “No. I’m mentoring them. Mari is my only child.”  

“And we were never told because?” Clint Barton is still looking between my Dad and I.  

I shrug. “I wanted a normal childhood. Being the daughter of Tony Stark would have made my childhood crazy. This was before Ironman and the Avengers became a thing.”  

Clint nods in agreement. “Fair enough. Why are you here now then?”  

“My little genius,” My father kisses my cheek. “Is starting MIT in the Fall!”  

“Oh, God. She’s a mini you!” I easily recognize Bucky Barnes from his signature metal arm.   

“But with better fashion sense!” I give all of them a winning smile.  

“Can we come back to Captain America needing fashion help.” The Black Widow is grinning from her place next to the couch.  

The Avengers all look at me with expectant gazes. Barnes looked all too happy at the topic. I simply shrug. “You look like America's 4 year old daughter after she’s finally allowed to pick out her own clothing. You were practically glowing, that outfit was so bright. It’s like you were asking for the enemy to notice you. Get a stylist!”  

Steve Rogers’ face starts to turn red. “It worked back in the 40’s during the war.”  

“No, honey, it didn’t.” Bucky and Sam are starting to laugh behind their hands. “People just loved you more than they disliked the suit.”  

Rodgers’ face is a deep red right now. “It’s an iconic antique.”  

“Then put it in a museum and leave it there.” Bucky finally snaps and roars with laughter. Sam isn’t far behind as he lands on the floor to roll around.  

“I’m sorry, who is the tiny french girl who’s verbally beating up Steve?” Bruce Banner is standing by the elevator with the most confused expression on his face.  

“Tony’s daughter, apparently.” Clint shrugs.  

“And Tony has had a daughter for how long?”  

“15 years.” I give Banner a bright smile. “I’ve read several of your papers. Your gamma radiation and nuclear physics work is amazing, but I preferred the stuff on Biochemistry. I have some ideas I was hoping you take a look at.”  

Bruce blinks a few times. “I-15 years-What kind of ideas?”  

“Bacta patches. I want to see if I can make them real. I’ve written out some formulas, but haven’t been able to really talk to anyone about them yet or test them out.”   

“Uhh...Sure. Bacta patches, like from Star Wars?”  

“Yup.”  

“Tony, your daughter is a fashionista and a nerd. I’ve only ever heard of such rare creatures.” Bucky was no longer laughing at Steve, but still looked too happy.   

“Technically, I’m a fashion designer.”  

“Tony, you daughter is a fashion designer and a nerd.”  

“Who has an IQ of 265!” My Father is smiling down at me, pride filling his eyes.  

A glass drops and shatters across the floor. “Holy shit!” is whispered from someone in the room.  

My Father ignores all of this. “Well, I’m going to introduce Mari to the rest of the kids. Carry on!”  

I give a small wave to the stunned adults. “Bye! It was nice to meet all of you! I’ll speak to you later Doctor Banner.”   

My Father pushes me into the elevator, leaving several flabbergasted Avengers. I raise an eyebrow as the elevator moves down a few levels. “You didn’t tell them about me.”  

He snorts. “And miss that interaction. That was so much better than I could ever have ever dreamed.”  

The door dings open and I’m suddenly in a smaller version of the top floor living room. There were 9 teenagers sitting around a coffee table, a variety of bags scattered around the couches and loveseats. All of the heads look up at me when I come in.  

The oldest male swears in english. “Damn it Stark, how many of us are you going to kidnap?”  

I raise an eyebrow and turn my head up. “Kidnap?”  

My father gasps dramatically. “Kidnap? I did not kidnap! Your parents practically threw you at me once I showed up.”  

One of the other boys snorts. “Aunt May is still angry about Germany. She said if you showed up at our house again, she’d throw you out the window.”  

My father shrugs. “Your Aunt is a terrifying force of nature.”  

A blonde girl rolls her eyes and walks up to me. A hand shoots out. “Gwen Stacy, I’m from New York and I’m 17.”   

I take her hand. “A pleasure.”  

The oldest boy sticks his hand in the air. “Harley Keener, Tennessee. Also 17.”  

The boy with a terrifying aunt gives me a small wave. “Peter Parker, Queens. 16.”  

Brown haired latina woman gives me a nod. “Anya Corazon. I’m from Brooklyn. 16, as well.”  

The last guy briefly looks up from the computer in his lap to give me a smile. “Ned Leeds. I’m from New York and I’m 16, too.”  

The girl next to him does even look up as she waves. “MJ. New York. 17. Nice shoes.”  

I glance down. “Thanks.”  

MJ nods, still looking at my computer. She nudges the guy on the floor next to her foot.  He pulls off his headphones and gives me a wave. “Oh, hey! Miles Morales. Brooklyn native. Freshly 16.”  

A girl about my age looks up from the small project in her hand. “Riri Willaims, Chicago. 15.”  

Lastly was a girl who looked even younger than me. She waves from her seat on the floor by Riri. “Peni Parker, no relation to Peter Parker. I’m from New York. I’m 14, but will be 15 in two months.”  

I wave back. “Hi, I’m Marinette Dupain-Cheng-Stark. I’m from Paris and I turn 15 tomorrow.”  

Harley chokes on the drink he’d just swallowed. “I’m sorry, Stark?”  

I nod. “Tony’s my Dad. We’ve just kept it on the downlow so I could have a normal childhood.”  

Everyone one is looking at me. I simply shrug it off. “So, you guys are all going to the International Technology Showcase in D.C. this summer, right?”  

There’s several nods. “Yup.” Peni gives me a wide smile. “We’ve all got stuff to showcase. What about you?”  

“I’ve got my showcase pieces.”  

My Father claps me on my shoulder. “Ok, now that you are all here,  can give you guys a tour.”  

Ned shuts his computer and Riri sets the components in her hands down on the coffee table. I set my backpack on the ground as my father guides us to a door on the right. He flips on a switch to reveal a large game room, complete with several large TV’s and game consoles. “This is the Game Room.”  

He walks across the main living room and flips on another light. A huge kitchen with a large table sits in this room. “Kitchen and dining room are here.”  

He points up. “Bedrooms are on the next two level. Boys on the next floor, girls above them. All of the rooms have labels and there is a central living space where the stairs and elevator dump you out. The floor below us is a training room. The two floors below that are labs. Engineering labs on the upper floor and a Biochem lab on the floor below. We expect to see you all at some point, so don’t live in isolation.” Dad walks back over to the elevator. “Have fun, just don’t blow up the building.” We all watch him wave as the elevator door closes.  

It’s silent as everyone looks at each other awkwardly. I roll my eyes after a few seconds. “So, Star Wars marathon? Who’s in?”  

Ned and Peter immediately stick their hands up, to the amusement of Gwen and MJ. Riri nods. “I’m up for anything. What are we doing for dinner?”  

Miles shrugs. “I don’t know how to cook.”  

I roll my eyes. “I’ll order pizza. How does a Deluxe, Margarita, and a Meat Lover’s sound.”  

“You getting drinks?” Harley raises an eyebrow.  

“A couple two liters, some normal breadsticks and some of those dessert pizzas that look like someone dumped a whole bag of sugar and icing on top.” I get a nod from Harley.  

Anya nods. “I don't know what you all are going to do over the next hour, but I’m moving in. Pizza and movies in an hour or so?”  

I pull out my phone and start to put in the order. “Should work. I don’t know about you all, but I am putting on sweatpants.” I grab my bag from the floor and handle of my suitcase as I make my way to the elevator.   

Peter starts to pull out his wallet. “How much do we own you?”  

I shake my head. “Nothing.”  

Peter shakes his head. “That doesn’t seem fair.”  

I raise an eyebrow. “My Dad is a billionaire. He paid for a quart of strawberries with a Jaeger-LeCoultre watch. He can buy us pizza.”  

“A Jaeger-LeCoultre watch, serious?” Riri looks absolutely annoyed.  

“Stark just gave a bunch of teenagers 6 floors all for ourselves with no supervision.” Harley snorts. “He doesn’t seem to think everything through.”  

“He has FRIDAY watching us.” I press the confirmation button on the Pizza. “Pizza will be here in 45. But, ya. My Dad has FRIDAY and KAREN keeping an eye on all of us.”  

Harley gets a look in his eye. “We have babysitting monitors!” A scary smile graces his lips. “I say we revolt!”  

Gwen face palms, but it’s too late. MJ, Peter, Riri, Peni and Miles all look too excited. Frankly, so was I. “Anyone know a lawyer?” Riri is grinning now too.  

Peter sticks his hand up. “Mathew Murdock.”  

Anya seems to be getting excited too. “So, what are we rebelling?”  

“Baby monitor protocols!”   

Gwen rolls her eyes, but caves. “We need more than that!”  

I bite my lip. “We also need time. We need our own AI.”  

“How are we adding in our own AI to the tower?” Ned has his computer under his arm as we enter the elevator.   

“I helped design the security for this building. Once we have our own AI, I add them to the tower’s system. Once we’ve done that I’ll take FRIDAY out of our 6 floors and add in our AI.”  

Silence for a second as the elevator doors close. “Can you keep Tony out of our floors?” Peni is practically vibrating.  

“I can keep everyone off our floors.”  

Harley throws his arms into the air. “We revolt at dawn!”  

“After the Star Wars Marathon!” Peter and Ned have thrown their arms into the air too. Peni joins in with Miles and soon several teens are cheering in this tiny elevator.   

I blink a few times and van’t help the smile that forms onto my face. How did my dad find these crazy teenagers?  

Before ~~~~~ Next

[niallloverontheloose]

https://princeescaluswords.tumblr.com/post/647720374839214080/puts-on-the-funny-looking-hat-of-fandom-logic#notes

@russianspacegeckosexparty: Lydia’s banshee powers laid dormant so long and for why? Have you stopped to think how in that time, she suspiciously had Stiles obsessing over her? Knowing her measurements? That dastardly druid boy must have been siphoning her Banshee spark for years to try resurrecting his mom. And he never told her what she was! When he is a genius with a 200 IQ and an expert in all things Supernatural.

@princeescaluswords:

I look forward to your questions, because they always tend to make me smile. This particular question demonstrates the same level of imaginative skill and, forgive me, projective paranoia that it took for various BNF to interpret Season 5B’s plot to mean that Scott conspired with Deucalion to trick Theo into murdering Josh and Tracy.

You see, they can’t point to a single scene where Scott tells Deucalion to kill anyone. They can’t point to a single scene where Deucalion kills anyone. They can’t point to a single scene where Deucalion tells Theo to kill anyone. They ignore the scenes where Deucalion mocks Theo for killing Josh and Tracy. If you use the logic that Deucalion taught Theo how to take power, which is why Theo kidnapped him, and that makes Deucalion responsible, you still can’t connect that to anything Scott did or said.

You know what the difference is between your far-fetched theory of Stiles suppressing Lydia’s power and their paranoid fantasy that Scott ordered Deucalion to murder just Tracy and Josh, and not Corey or Hayden (with whom Deucalion was alone) or maybe even Theo? Aside from canon characterization, canon plot, and common sense? You don’t seriously mean it, and they do.

Oh, and the racism.

On this post, all the usual suspects came and told me that not only are they not motivated by racism in their hatred of Scott, but they can’t be because Scott isn’t Latino. Their argument? Well, no one ever came out and declared that he was word-for-word on the show (though somehow the fact that Derek, Peter, Jennifer, Deucalion, Chris, Noah, Melissa, Stiles and Deaton all said that Scott is a good person and a True Alpha does not make that statement true).

That’s all you need to see the racism. Latinos must declare themselves as such, or they’re not. The idea that to be a minority you must be written a specific way to be identified as a minority is in itself racist. All you have to do is look and you’ll see the footprints of racism in this fandom, which they can deny and deny and deny, but the double standards are easily found and they show up in their meta and they show up in their fanfiction and their gifsets and their snide-ass comments they put in the #scott mccall tag on Tumblr. There’s no other explanation for their interpretations but Scott’s not white.

I would love to hear the explanation of why it’s okay for them to write that Scott is responsible for Tracy and Josh’s death, while also writing that Peter cares for his family so much, especially when if you use their own arguments, Peter is responsible for Derek’s temporary death in Smoke & Mirrors (4x12). Peter was in conspiracy with Kate just as much as Scott was in conspiracy with Deucalion and Chris, so it stands to reason if Theo, who was being manipulated by Deucalion, killed Josh so that makes Scott responsible, then if the Berserker, who was being manipulated by Kate, temporarily killed Derek, so that makes Peter responsible.

You will most likely never hear this idea anywhere else. You will most likely never read about Peter’s sheer disdain for his family. Because while fandom likes to trumpet that it’s about exploring all possible combinations and deep reading, you won’t get this level of critical and accusative analysis about hot white men.

To them, that’s not racism. After all, Peter’s a villain! And Derek and Chris are as well in the first two seasons. The answer, of course, is to look seriously at the way they treat some hot white male non-villains.

Let’s look at how these supposedly better white male characters treat women. Stiles is prepared to make out with Lydia when she’s drugged up to the gills, shouts at her until she dances with him, spends an entire weekend waiting for her in a hospital, buys her a ridiculous amount of gifts for her birthday, among other expressions of romantic attraction. Isaac, on the other hand, wants to kill Lydia because she turned him down for a date, assaults Allison on Derek’s orders, and becomes sexually attracted and romantically involved with Allison who hunted down his packmates and stabbed him a lot. But I’ve never seen a single of one of these anti-Scott BNF call Stiles or Isaac ‘sexually obsessed!’ That’s only Scott who embodies for them the Latin Lover stereotype and who is excoriated in fan fiction and on Tumblr for the singular and unheralded crime of paying attention to his girlfriend.

I don’t know what the difference is, but apparently, it’s not racism.

Or how many of the hundreds (if not thousands) of stories have you read where Stiles shuns, punishes, strips Scott of his wolf with his super-duper magical powers, or literally kills Scott because he demonstrated his disloyalty and unworthiness by not submitting to Derek and/or Peter? Yet, there may be one or two stories in the nearly 120,000 Teen Wolf fanfictions on AO3 where Stiles reacts at all to Isaac abandoning Derek (and disliking Peter) and joining Scott’s pack. If fanfictions are transformative, and it’s only natural that they create stories where Stiles acts as the avenging angel for the poor widdle Hales, there would have to be stories where he avenges them against Isaac. Wouldn’t there?

I’d bet there are less than five, but apparently, it’s not racism.

And then there’s the terrible, terrible Neck Grab o’ Doom which is brought up again and again in fiction and commentary, which Fanon Stiles cannot stomach (even though canon Stiles argued for leaving Derek in the hands of his rapist). To them he must end his friendship with Scott over this dastardly crime, motivated as it was by pure animus (which is what they’re calling the threat of Scott watching Allison’s throat get ripped out). Scott was working with Gerard under duress, but to Stiles, that’s irrelevant. They can’t be around each other anymore. How many stories are there about this, do you think? Now compare that to the number of stories where Stiles drives Liam from the pack for his beating Scott to the point of death while working with Theo.

I’ve never seen one. Stiles is far more interested in who Liam is dating, but apparently, it’s not racism.

I can go on and on and on and on, and point out that these aren’t 40-60 splits. The preponderance of stories where Scott is held reprehensible for actions that white characters take and ignored without comment are incredibly lopsided, overwhelmingly in favor of turning the Latino hero into a monster while Stiles, Liam, and Isaac are “baby” who must be excused for their mistakes.

But Scott was written so badly! These BNF cry. Then where are the fix-its? If the story was so unsatisfying, and fanfiction exists to give us what canon didn’t, where are the fix-its where the story is written to give us Scott as a hero they can get behind.

Oh, they exist, but just with stories that approach white character’s misdeeds, they are in the extreme minority. The vast majority of fix-its aren’t about correcting the mistakes the production made in the presentation of the main character, they are about saving the Hale family or making sure that Derek stays alpha or telling how Stiles dropped his life-long loyalty to his best friend and switched to either of the Hot White Hales, either the middle-aged serial killer or the young adult would-be serial killer, overwhelmingly. And above all, Scott is put in his place - dead or unimportant or subservient or any combination of the three.

They don’t dislike Scott because he’s Latino, they’ll repeatedly tell you, even though he shares traits with every single white non-villain character on the show, even though the show is focused on his growth and the traits that he doesn’t share with them. Not at all. They dislike him because … they dislike him! And instead of fixing what they don’t like about him, they’re going to demonstrate how much they don’t like him by repeating again and again just how bad he was. Remember, the transformative nature of fandom is to give us what the show didn’t.

And apparently, this is not motivated by racism

~*~*~

“Stiles is prepared to make out with Lydia when she’s drugged up to the gills, shouts at her until she dances with him”

Isn’t it curious that the rabid Scott/Posey Stans who accuse Teen Wolf fans of painting Scott as a rapist are the very same ones who systematically ignore canon and try to paint Stiles – a canonical neuroatypical character – as a rapist? It doesn’t matter than Stiles respects women (unlike Scott) and never shouted at Lydia until she danced with him, or that Stiles went to visit Lydia because he was worried about her and to investigate on the Alpha with Natalie’s permission, or that Scott is the one who wanted to leave Derek in his rapist’s clutches in canon. Antis will make shit up in order to paint the character they are obsessed with as a rapist to make Scott look “better”.

But let’s take a look at how Scott McCall, this supposedly better male character, treats women in the series, shall we?

• spies on Allison while she’s undressing

• tells his mom that she doesn’t care about her love life and that he’s going to get Allison back

• creeps into Allison’s bedroom without her or her parents’ consent to watch her sleep

• forces Allison to go out with Matt (her stalker) to get Allison’s mom off his back

• yells at Allison in the middle of a crowded club and makes her cry just because she prioritized innocent people’s life above Scott’s jealous fits and temper tantrums

• stares at Allison’s ass at gym class

• calls Allison psychotic for setting boundaries

• creeps on Allison in the showers (guess he was prepared to make out with her, too)

• pushes his tongue down Allison’s throat to convince her to to break up with him because “I know we are gonna be together

• physically assaults Isaac just because he dared to like and interact with his ex girlfriend

• pushes Allison against her bedroom’s door to prove how ‘strong’ and ‘right’ he is

• gets boners whenever he’s in close proximity with Allison

• lies to Kira to control her and then cheats on her with Malia

And these are only a few canon examples at the top of my head – feel free to add to the list if you want

Scott treating girls (and Stiles) like an exclusive property of his and being sexually obsessed with Allison (his password and username is Allison) is NOT a Latino thing: it’s a Scott McCal thing.

As for Scott conspiring with Deucalion behind everyone’s back to kill Josh and Tracy, that’s not a fanon theory. That’s Canon. Deucalion could have easily stopped Theo from killing Josh and Tracy if he wanted; but he didn’t. And we know Scott couldn’t care less about chimera victims, that’s why he patted Deucalion on the back for pushing Theo to kill his own pack.

[theurbansquared]

Guide To Avoiding A Loser Brokerage

by James Hill | theurbansquared

Brokers can be bastards and some even get better at it while other brokers are legitimate life-changing business Sherpas

A broker is supposed to guide you through a career in real estate much like a coach or pimp - offering protection and how to understand a complicated system better and direct it to revenue  without getting your neck broke while playing the game. I created and ran the most well-reviewed, largest full-service brokerage in the fastest-growing city in America.  This gave me access to nearly ever broker and their broker's pay structure and innovations. I also got the agent's version of my same broker buddies brokerages when they eventually joined my brokerage; hovering anywhere from 20–60 agents. Trending insider chatter has blame going to real estate brokers of decades past (and current) and how they’ve managed their agents - - letting unsupervised  agents with no experience run wild on the streets practicing on the public wearing out Realtor love and making a need for all the Mountain Dew-made Zillow-y options that currently exist.

Brokers are out of touch more than ever with today’s current media load, having to understand and use social media platforms for their advertising (since the private Town & Country affair that real estate once was is forever over and the landscape is a bit more like a half Juggalo, half programmer flea market).

Let’s dive into some situations and tenets that most agents don’t consider when choosing a brokerage.

Sales Volume

This is a bit of negotiating psychology and due diligence. Simply ask how much sales they (the brokerage) did last year and how much they’re currently at. If they don’t know these numbers they’re goons. If they don’t give it, you guessed it - they’re hiding something; their lack of revenue. I’ve hired and fired hundreds of agents and in interviews so few ask this question but it’s one of the most important questions you can ask as an agent and you need the information. An agent that doesn’t ask this has already given a tell that they’re not a top producer since they’re not interested in the production capacity of the team they may join. No bueno. Creep the brokerage as well obvi -- reviews, FB & IG engagement and current running ads, and make sure the company Christmas Party isn’t catered by Chic-fil-a at a Burnet Road dive bar.

Office

40% of your learning and 350% of your work will be done at the office. Those numbers will make sense 90% of the time after a few years in real estate. The rest should be on the streets - your car, properties, driving 75 mph talking and sending out docs, gorging on breath mints. Office, home, tiny homes, motorhomes have all blended into one larger conversation where work/live ethos are all in re-definition.

But, when you do need a more savvy moment in any market when people talk about borrowing or selling something that’s over $100K they don’t want to hear some bullshit too loud pedantic conversation seated right next to them at Starbucks or the local kooky coffee shop. In real estate Murphy’s Law is always in effect. The super important listing sign off that has to go well and they want to hear you pitch again before deciding? There will be someone (at this super ‘caj’ coffee house meeting) there projectile vomiting, or throwing cats, or something else tiresome or bad that takes more calls.

Speech and body language are massive parts of sales so when the entire set is thrown because a barista is running through a whole Sublime album. You want the most inviting cool office you can ever pull off at any given moment in real estate . Was that ever a question? There's a balance  -- you can't afford that year one or three, but it’s called real estate for a reason. Sexy, exciting buildings is what the brochure said when I joined. Also, it’s about style not size.

If you haven’t lost business to coffee house back pressure you really haven’t failed at agency properly.

Social IQ

Social reach is the only conversation now. Many brokerages won’t make it as the lead generating aspects of the industry aren't powered by a private MLS anyone and the publicly-hated ‘Realtor’ designation have both brokers and agents guessing about tomorrow. Calendars, best practices and free shitty tips & templates are the du jour of the day for anyone trying to get an agent's eyes. You can Google and get all the ‘basic’ social media dance steps, but with everyone at the same happy hunting spot, you’re being covered up, which leaves all your new artistic efforts fruitless and also squandering winning time.

Traffic, leads and engagement are all separate areas that have to be fulfilled properly and even this is in flux with historic corporations and current start ups all on the same advertising playing field. Social reach and engagement is about going to the consumer direct and becoming their friend with soft bribes -- free food, gifts, prizes (trips, events tickets) or industry work tools. The great news is, real estate has always been mostly consumer direct - start up a convoy at the grocery store (bar, church, meetup) and you’re in the car that weekend looking for houses with a new client. While you, your brokerage and the world are figuring out their exact social media mix, you need to make sure a brokerage isn’t lost on social media since many won’t be able to stay in business in the next few short years. Your brokerage needs to have a plan and and at best some presence on social media. Plus, they should be running low-cost performative marketing ad campaigns to get a feel for what and if set user groups are responding to ads. Anyone can post on IG but people engage on IG when they become inspired. A brokerage should have some sort of inspiration and relationship tied in with the local allure of their city --  or heading that direction.

Mentoring

Much like a neurotic buyer chasing an interest rate for their home mortgage (and then never buying a house) agents too focused on commission may miss the essential career need for mentoring -- for their clients and career. I had a 5 deal minimum for my new agents before they were ever unsupervised and received more commission. I've had new agents with celeb clients in hand and celeb agents with no clients in hand. No one wants to do business with someone with absolutely has no, experience but they do it because they like you as a friend or fam. Your mentor is the person riding shotgun with you at the beginning of your career. On many levels you want to be this person since they embody the position and role. You're literally and figuratively are borrowing experience from them and they deserve to be paid for it. You always have to strengthen your brand outside of your brokerage but if you don’t have any experience your brand doesn’t have ‘strength’ you simply have a logo and a drag & drop website where you're possibly talking about yourself and love of unicorns or football shit but the big boat deals you dream about in bed aren’t gotten this way. Remember, no unicorn could ever throw a football good without a lot of practice and a good mentor.

Support

Support in a brokerage is really communication and solutions for small problems, and systems for managing bigger ones with people. Most of the annoying things in real estate happen outside of the deal - contracts, calls, emails, docs, signatures, more docs. You typically want a super admin, broker, or agent manager that you can call and they pick up the phone. It’s pretty simple. With a mentor, admin, or broker you’re going to have a n 8:30 PM question or deal that’s going down. You’ll need printer help. Real estate always happens now (this was one of the main mantras in my office). Printing, prequal, weekend support and constant post dinner shenanigans.

Training

Meet Frank Miller, David Mamet, the Sex Pistols, Tony Robbins, Wayne Dyer, Hendrix, Tom Hopkins, The World’s Greatest Detective and Conan The Barbarian. We had a lot of different inspirations for the style and ethos of our urban brokerage. The World’s Greatest Detective is Batman. It was a moniker that became popular in the seventies. We used this example about how important due diligence and proper Fact Finding techniques are for serving and closing deals for clients. (It’s almost essential to be inquisitive in real estate esp about property/development to have success). Training is largely your sales meeting(s). Although I don’t come from a car background I’ve mentored many car guys transferring to real estate (they typically are out of the industry within 2 years and are there only for boom markets). Car guys have meetings every morning 6 days a week and they’re not at 9 or 10 am. They’re already working.

free module: The Burger King Phenomena: Why Agents Do Less Working For Themselves Than If They Were Working At Burger King

Many brokerages have no training/meeting schedule (monthly doesn’t count -- that’s a meet and greet company pump and catch up meeting). If a brokerage doesn’t have training on a schedule then there is no training. You’ll possibly be thrown a 3-ring binder, or given some PDF’s, or links to old bizarre training videos or a soup sandwich of all three and sometimes even a bill for the training. An agent’s training/meetings and their attendance to them are the difference between an agent making it or not when you’re 24 months or less in the role as an agent especially in the fast turbulent waters of the current 2021 market where brokerage and agent purpose and pay are under attack. From my experience, new agents that hide die.

Media

Having a background as a creative director I’m aware with great detail of agency and brokerage media needs, the cost and time they extract, and the corresponding revenue they’re projected to bring back. Brokerages are looking for their purpose now as simply having a brokerage doesn’t bring in leads like it used to. This is fitting, since the digital dumbass brokers that that didn’t understand the importance of ‘the web’ rickshawed our MLS data and sold the agent/broker centric real estate system for their benefit while current agents are left with an empty greasy enough to-go box to curl up with. Brokerages were never media houses or ad agencies but now that consumer level graphic programs and website builders are ubiquitous and any agent after being licensed for 10 days can drag & drop a website up in 4 hours and make it look like a brokerage that’s been around for years. I know I’m going wide on the subject here but stay with me because this is the crux of where the industry and consumer are renegotiating roles.

A brokerage’s value proposition has changed drastically with the telecommute revolution that was only sped and strengthened by Covid. Also, generational knowledge base gaps in technology are more apparent than ever with technology as younger agents can often be more media savvy than their broker. The market is flooded with self appointed companies or gurus that are taking on the role of the classic ad agency (Mad Men) or media production house. Also beware of real estate coaches with little or no real estate experience offering to guide you in social media. Okay media can’t be used in apex situations (such as the luxury listings you’re after) and doesn’t draw apex listings. Beware of tapioca room temperature tips and general lists from companies that can appear informative but are really boilerplate low grade data to get your attention to ultimately upsell you on a paid service.

As an agent or a brokerage, consumer level graphic and website building programs can be a death ticket to your business as your competitors have the same tools and are cranking out the same type of style of messaging you are now. Now agents, principals, admins and in art class creating flyers. This has been done since the nineties as the valleys of dead agent careers is full of 2-day Microsoft Word (or any of their shitty office offerings) seshes to produce nasty flyers and presentations. These programs are fun and making bad flyers absolutely work related - the kind of work you don’t want’ related to your business because it’s adult crayon coloring. Activity does not equal production. Staying busy doing the wrong things doesn’t make money in real estate. Rather than spending agent winning time staying in the wrong lanes for way too long, get with a team or brokerage that are providing the most exceptional visual media you can find in your market. It used to be cool 2 years ago, now it’s the only thing that matters. Visual content.

free module: Better Agent Media, Less Agent Money (media tips and hacks).

Access

This is access to your broker. Brokers with families are typically less available. Your best bet as an agent is looking for a grinder broker who sleeps on the couch at their office. This person doesn’t have kids to build into so they’ll build into your career and you’ll get the most out of these brokers. Beware of cheesedick, apathetic, rich boy, bored brokers not around and more concerned with projects like a shitty vanity wine brand that their wife’s forced them to launch since she’s not living her best life anymore as an agent.

Style

What kind of style is your brokerage? Is there an opportunity to bring more style sophistication to the market -- standout in a smaller market? Or, are you in an ultra stylish market currently and butt hurt because you already have a little story about how you’re going to keep it real and be a Dockers wearing slob for eternity? The thing about style in agency is you always need to look like you can list a million dollar house. Oh, is it really that simple? Yes it is. You complicated it. Clients always care about their housing a little bit more than they care about your real estate career. They don’t have time to figure out why you’re wearing shoe styles from 7 years ago. Don’t make it hard for people to do business with you. If you’re ugly, even better. It can be a massive advantage. Everyone on the planet loves when someone who doesn’t fall into our general current ‘attractive’ spectrum doesn’t give af, looks great and puts themselves together in a stylish way that the viewer can understand (can I get away with Teen Wolf?). A great side benefit from this step in the right direction is it’s a great way to make someone who is conventionally attractive insecure.

You want to be in the same style as the people in your area but the secret is you need to lead that style pack if you can -- you always lead and dress apex. Years ago this was anecdotal but after over 100K hours in real estate a good suite (tailored) saved my ass and literally got me business. I listed the largest house in east Austin because of a suit (and got a front page story on the newspaper real estate section for free because the owner saw me walking into the next door neighbor’s house).

Offices, dress, logo, email signature are all elements of you and your brokerage’s style. Style in and of itself isn’t enough to be a top producer in real estate. I’ve had stylish and even celebrity agents that didn't do zilch, but style often is a fingerprint to something more.

Picking the right elements for your agent style is an art because you have to offer something from yourself that’s unique enough as well as something familiar (a bridge to your uniqueness). I have a background as a musician and also as a merchant sailor. Fortunately those are easy convo starters. You could be a philatelist and have some challenges, but regardless it absolutely will take a year or three to develop your own angle and style towards the market as you learn it and the agent role more.

Things that look attractive and familiar puts client’s psychologies at ease. So, if skinny jeans are in you better get in them (that’s like five years old now). You’re on stage. You don’t wear what the worker people behind the camera wear. If you want to wear boring shit get on the other side of the camera. If you want less leads saddle up to a forgettable brokerage. People have hard days. They want you to put an effort into your real estate agency role. Currently it’s a fried role so you’re dealing with that too. People love to be smiled at and sold and especially from someone who smells good. It doesn't ever get old. Don’t make them beg for your charm. Be a nice charming person with a shirt that fits good, it’s a powerful combo.

Get My Damn Paper

If you’ve never seen a werewolf in daylight mess with an agent’s commission after the deal’s done and funded. Admin? Who is the damn person who does the admin? (accounts payable is the icey pro word if you like). That person that you contact to get your commission check cut? If that person is a weirdo, or there’s an unfriendly or sketchy quality to the office or admin staff, do not go forward (don’t confuse this with new people or industry jitters). Grab some free coffee, leave the smarm and jet to the next brokerage blind date.

Software

CRM is an annoying conversation. Here’s the things with CRM’s - for all the work CRMs curtail, because of their complexity and existence and the work(time) they take to interact with you need to consider how much work you’re putting into operating the CRM software verses how much time it’s saving. Many times brokerages have expensive yearly subscriptions with per agent fees for their CRM which can make the brokerage have a zealot meth thing for the ‘team’ software and promise you can’t have a career without taking a bump too. To understand CRM better before it was a name, Client Relationship Management is what analog Proximity became. Let me explain -  being close to people in Church, bar, school, same building -- all give proximity. This becomes familiarity, then ease, then trust. People do business with people they trust & like. Once people disconnected physically and started using other means more contact attempts have to be made to work for or ‘prove’ worth.

Follow Up is a large component of most CRM’s and there are gobs of money for agents who follow up meticulously. Simply ask the broker what CRM they use and research it. Something to remember - unless you’re extremely busy with your career you don’t need a CRM. You can manage & database your clients & leads ‘by hand’ and strap it to the cloud with G-Suite/Google Sheets.

Brokerage Name

A small but important aside, if a brokerage have named themselves after a precious metal or a gem, or if it says elite in the name then it’s not elite. If it has the words prestige or worldwide or international it may not be any of those either. I know a handful of exceptions to this rule but this is a great dirty primer to use when choosing a brokerage that’s going to propel your career and have shrimp options at the Christmas Party.

[paradise-creator]

OwO when u have time,, can I have a haven box for BNHA?? But just when you’re free and not working on prior works!! >:( I’m watching u bish

You can use my name in the result if you want to lol I already know it anyway!!

She/her, Taurus, INTJ, slytherin (pretty freakin’ queer but I usually lean towards boys/enbies more)

Personality: the first thing people notice about me is that I am less of a feeler and more of a thinker. I do have an IQ of 125, but my emotional intelligence is quite low, so I have trouble sympathizing with others. But I learned through experience, so I don’t SEEM emotionless. I can (and will) help my friends through tough times if they need me. I’m pragmatic, so I always go for the facts instead of the feelings during decision making or tough situations. I hold a lot of perfectionist traits that make it really hard for me to be satisfied with my results if they aren’t higher than the norm. I also have a slight issue with saying no, so sometimes I’ll offer my help or enrol myself in long-term projects while knowing I legit do not have time for more stuff on my schedule. Being a bit smarter than average, I sometimes feel like I’m obligated to help others so that they can do good too (however, I do like helping people with their hw to a certain extent). I’m working on those issues though!! I’m also an introvert, and I can get rlly tired if I have to be interacting for more than four hours straight with people, especially if their persona isn’t rlly compatible with mine.

However, when I’m surrounded by friends (or generally people who aren’t my superiors), I’m very energetic, loud, silly and I have a sharp tongue. I’m also insanely competitive, like someone please stop me?? My sense of humour goes from absolute nonsense to almost mean spirited sarcasm, but it all depends on who I’m talking to. I’m a MAJOR memer, I have a bunch of files filled with them, and I couldn’t bear be with people who didn’t understand my meme references. When I start liking something, I can get easily obsessed. I’m stubborn, therefore very passionate about the things I care about. I also have a slight case of the Endorphin Junkie, meaning that I really, really like the high you get after sports so I do crossfit training like five to six times a week. I’m unapologetically myself, and I will not ever change who I am to fit within the norm. I’m sometimes told that (that I’m odd, I mean), but I usually thank the people who tell me. I have a really, really big love for music and I have a tendency to break into song sometimes when people say a line from a song I know. I also cry sometimes when music gets really good ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ whoops

Appearance: I’m around 5’6”, with hazel eyes and brown hair that goes around to my shoulders. It gets curly out of nowhere. I can either wake up with straight hair or wake up with a freakin perm, it’s funny. My body isn’t exactly the lean type, I’m somewhere around the buff area of the scale instead, but as long as I seem visibly strong, I’m satisfied. When I’m not going anywhere significant, I usually just wear sport shirts and sweats, but I have a penchant for Dark Academia so I like /looking/ like I’m smart sometimes. And I have glasses bc apparently my eyes are assholes and they work too hard and it hurts my brain all the time

Likes: music (DavidBowieDavidBowieDavidBow-); I have a really wide range of music that goes from early 2000’s pop to 1700’s requiems(my faves are Bowie, Queen and Pink Floyd). I enjoy studying theoretical fields, reading, and I like talking about Absurd Theories About Reality That Make Little To No Sense. I like sports, and I love joking around with friends in the most exaggerated ways. I also love the colour green and I’m more of a cat person

Dislikes: dogs (they’re cute but keep them away pls), ignorant people, irresponsible people, spiders, things I’m not good at from the beginning, having to deal with strangers being upset, crying (me. I don’t like crying; I mean me, I’m fine if my friends cry)

Other fun facts!!

- my goals for the future are all over the place; I want to work for Disney, I want to get a musical composition degree, I want a biomedical engineering bachelors degree, I want an astrophysics doctorate, I want to study languages, I want to be a foreign English teacher... I can’t ever decide.

- I have a long history with getting crushes on guys who turned out to be gay. It happens so often and I HATE IT, it makes me feel terrible.

- I!!love!!70’s!!music!!so!!much!! I was raised on that stuff, my dad wouldn’t let us listen to anything else

- Lol my favourite playlist name is Drugs Playlist But I Don’t Even Do Drugs it’s just a bunch of Pink Floyd and David Bowie songs

- My favourite movies are 80’s or 90’s comedy classics!! Like Wayne’s World, or Airplane!, or Night at the Roxbury. I keep quoting Wayne’s World and no one understands :(

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Hello and Welcome my Starlight!

The Haven box includes:

- Match up

- Sun drop

- Flashes of memory

- Truth or dare gone wrong

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

I'd match you up with

Sero Hanata, Cellophane

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Sun drops

The reasons I paired you

- It me awhile to think about who to match you up with

- I was thinking of either Bakugou or Denki

- BUT THEN I REMEMBERED SERO

- Sero is such an underrated character smh

- BUT THIS DYNAMIC IS WHAT I LIVE FOR

-At first, you might be annoyed at his lack of knowledge but you over past that

- His EQ can help you grow as a person as well

- You have the IQ he has the EQ, BALANCE!

- You two would often have laughing sessions at class

- No cap tho, you two would be the most interesting couple

- You guys would have a matching necklace or a Keychain (IDK why but I feel like it-)

- You get along well with Denki, (IT TOOK A LONG TIME)

- But you would rather hang out with Bakugou (He tolerates you more than the others).

- BRO, please give him love. He craves your attention

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Flashes of memories

Sero: Hello there hot stuff!

Eve: Hello there Soy sauce

Sero: NOT YOU TOO

Eve: Just kidding, Hello babe

Sero: ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?

Eve: Yes, killing you with love

Sero: Dang that's smooth

-------------------------

Sero: He-

Eve: I didn't take your Pocky, Denki did

Sero: How-

Eve: You've been yelling about it for the past few minutes

Sero: Oh-

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Sero: Can you help me with studying?

Eve: Struggling again?

Sero: Yes...

Eve: Why did I date you again?

Sero: Please?

Eve: ...

Also Eve: Fine

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Truth or dare gone wrong

The class 1-A were all gathered in their common room, even Bakugou was present. The class was having a truth or dare session, it seemed interesting. “Sero, my man! Truth or dare?” Denki asked as he looked at Sero. “Truth! I choose truth,” Sero said. “Who have you been talking on the phone to this past weeks? The one I keep hearing is my pumpkin?” Denki asked. Sero’s face then turned a light shade of pink. “O-Oh- ummm,” He started as he looked away. “Does our Cellophane have a girlfriend?” Mina teased as she poked Sero. “Y-Yeah,” He stuttered. “OI THAT’S NOT FAIR?!? WHY CAN YOU HAVE A GIRL BUT I CAN’T,” Denki sulked as he placed his head on the table. “If you weren’t such a perv then maybe you can get one!” Hakagure responded.

“Don’t be shy. Tell us more,” Mina said. Sero’s blush darkened and he looked away. “We are playing truth or dare! It’s my turn to ask,” Sero then said. “Actually, I am quite curious as well. We can always continue later,” Momo said as she smiled. Everyone agreed and they then looked at the nervous male. “C’mon now guys, this is unfair,” Sero said as he looked at everyone. “But you have a girl and we want tea,” Mina then said as she sat in front of him. “I- um, you guys really want to know about her, huh?” Sero said as he chuckled. Everyone nodded and stared at Sero intently. “Just tell us already, Soy sauce,” Bakugou growled as he glared at Sero. “Don’t listen to him, bro. He is just jealous,” Kirishima said. “WHAT-“ Bakugou was about to counter but was silenced. “Fine! Fine! You got me in a corner,” Sero then said as he chuckled. “She should be coming here,” He added as he looked at the door. “Three, two, one,” He then said as he pointed to the door.

“Hello, is Sero Hanta here?”A feminine voice said. “ARE YOU A PSYCHIC?” Denki said as he looked surprised. “I’m right here pumpkin!” Sero then said as he smirked. His nervousness melted away as he saw the 5’6ft girl. It was his girlfriend, Eve, and he was overjoyed. “Hey there babe!” She then said as she smiled. “DANG YOU GOT A FINE LADY!” Denki then yelled as he checked her out. “Keep your eyes above for I’ll gorge them out,” Eve then said as she glared at Denki. Soon enough, Mineta tried to touch her as well but his efforts were at vain. Sero used his tape as to stop Mineta from getting closer. And Eve kicked him away, far away from her. “Get your filthy hands away from her,” Sero said as he stood up. He then wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead. “Woah, that was so manly!” Kirishima said as he smiled.

“GIRLS! GET HER-“ Mina said as she tackled the girl. They didn’t fall down but Mina was laughing and hugging her. “Girl! How long have you been together?” Mina asked as she pulled away. Eve was a bit uncomfortable but she merely had a stoic face. “A few weeks,” She responded bluntly. And soon enough, the truth or dare session was forgotten. It was replace with the class 1-A trying to pry out the tea from the couple. Did they succeed? No, not really. Though the class seemed to love Eve and her antics. The class even tried to make them forget about the date they have planned. But either way, Sero and Eve got manage to get away to have their small movie date at his room.

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Author's note

Hai bb! I'm sorry it took so long. But thanks for requesting again~

[arcticdementor]

During the Black Lives Matter era, the number of deaths by murder in the U.S. has increased over 40 percent in the years 2014 to 2020, with several thousand more incremental homicides just since the death of George Floyd.

What can we do about it?

I’d like to discuss social media, drug policy, and the death penalty.

But first: If you find you are inciting violence, stop inciting violence.

The data are now conclusive that relative to the declining homicide trend line of the previous era, the Black Lives Matter push has gotten an extra 10,000 or more black lives ended over the past half dozen years. Denouncing cops and sanctifying criminals leads to many more murders, especially of blacks shooting blacks.

Murder should instead be going down like it was before the Establishment decided at Ferguson that the system of law and order that had been more or less succeeding for twenty years should be junked on the baseless belief that black problems with the law must be the fault of the law, not of the blacks.

…

There’s much talk at the moment about censoring social media. But I never see discussion of how to reduce the death toll social media takes in the inner cities.

Over the years I’ve probably read five or ten interviews with black police chiefs in which they lament how social media facilitates the kind of knuckleheaded interpersonal beefs that lead to black-on-black murders.

In a violent lowbrow culture, social media’s public nature and the fact that everything you and everyone else says goes on your permanent record makes it more likely that some fool will decide that a diss demands a death.

But there’s no pressure on the vastly wealthy social media monopolies to figure out ways to keep their platforms from being used to incite black-on-black murder. What’s the political payoff? And it sounds racist to worry about it.

Next, one striking aspect of 2020 is that it gave us a crude natural experiment with which to test the libertarian proposition that the criminalization of drugs is what causes murder rates to be high in America. Arrests for drug offenses had already been declining in 2019, then dropped by one-third during the first six months of the pandemic.

But murders for 2020 went up 38 percent.

In defense of the libertarian theory, it could be that decriminalization didn’t fail, it just wasn’t tried hard enough.

Or maybe what drug dealers need is legalization: i.e., if your cocaine wholesaler tries to stiff you on delivery of the 100 kilos you paid for, you can sue him in court and have the government force him to deliver your cocaine according to your legally enforceable contract.

In that libertarian utopia, consumers could buy Coca-Cola brand cocaine by the pallet-load at Costco.

I’m not sure I want to live in that world.

…

On the other hand, when nice white people try to think about the death penalty for black murderers, they suddenly become extremely aware of all those Bell Curve statistics about blacks having a one standard deviation lower average IQ and thus being unclear on the “Thou shalt not kill” concept. For example, New York Times columnist Elizabeth Bruenig wrote a heartrending column about a childlike black Death Row prisoner whom she argues must have an even lower IQ than the 77 at which he tested

…

Yes, the Times printed an IQ score adjusted to one decimal place. Bruenig goes on to argue that 72.8 is close enough to the 70 IQ cutoff for not executing people that has been more or less standard since a 2002 Supreme Court decision sparing the retarded.

Back then, Linda S. Gottfredson, co-director of the University of Delaware–Johns Hopkins Project for the Study of Intelligence and Society, was bemused by the sudden deference granted to IQ testing:

“Just about the only time I see journalists and liberals take IQ seriously is when it meets their ideological predilections. For example, they treat IQ as real when anyone claims that early intervention raises it, but not when evidence goes the other way. And so it is with crime. We are told we must not link IQ with crime, unless low IQ can be used to roll back the death penalty.”

…

The death penalty is seldom applied in crimes of passion. It’s more likely to be demanded in aggravated cases where the murderer showed logical foresight, such as by killing witnesses to prevent them from identifying him.

…

In other words, despite his childish prose style, Corey Johnson is a bad man straight out of The Wire.

Most people have strong views one way or another on the death penalty. My view is more cold-blooded. I think its existence as the ultimate punishment could play a useful role in deterring criminals from shooting witnesses. As Leovy complained in Ghettoside, the dozen or so murders of witnesses each year in South Central Los Angeles underpins the snitches-get-stitches culture of impunity for killers that makes possible the atrocious murder rate among blacks.

If we actually believed that black lives matter, we might try for the next ten years to speedily execute everybody who murders rationally to cover up previous murders in order to break the back of the culture of impunity.

Of course, we won’t do this, because Black Lives Don’t Matter to elites, except as a political tool.

[chuckepisodes]

Chuck vs. The Sandworm Part 2

You and Chuck drove back to his place. You called Sarah asking her if she can meet you both at his place. "Hey. Um, is Sarah here?" you asked Ellie and Devon as you both walked in. "She's waiting in your room Chuck." " Is everything okay?" Ellie asked. "Oh yeah! Just hanging out! And we just have something to talk about." you said as you and Chuck headed to his room. When Chuck opened the door, you both found Sarah standing there looking out the window." "Hey!" you greeted. " Who is this Lazslo character? He just ID'd us as agents." Chuck said getting right to the problem "Relax. We're looking into him. And you guys did the right thing." Sarah reassured. "We... We didn't do anything. We just flashed on the guy. " you said. "You followed protocol, and I'm going to check in with you first thing in the morning." " Wait, wait. Wait, wait, hold on, hold on. Wait, um...Look, if it's cool with you, could you hang out for a little while?" you asked. " Look, awesome and Ellie think that we're all hanging out so it would look a little awkward if you just left now." Chuck explained. "Oh! Um...sure! How long?" "Ummm I don't know. I would say 40 minutes to an hour tops?" you asked "Uh okay." You all then just sat on Chuck's bed awkwardly.  You decided to lean against Chuck as you all waited this out and Chuck put his arm around your shoulders. "Oh. I wanted to surprise you guys with a little something." Sarah spoke up, taking a couple frames out of her bag. You and Chuck looked over at her wondering what she would have for you two. Sarah handed over two of the same photos for the both of you of you three at comic-con. "What do you think?" Sarah asked. " It's... It's great. But we've never actually been to comic-con, have we?" Chuck asked. "Wow...we look like a real group of friends." you said. "Yeah we really do." Chuck added. "We we are a real group of friends. We are just a different group of friends." "That we are." Chuck said. You and Chuck then looked at each other, both of you thinking the same thing.

The next day at work Chuck was on his break when Casey came barging in. "You! What do I have to do to get timely intel out of you, Bartowski? Or L/N?" " Look, we briefed Sarah last night, all right?" "Oh, of course you did." "I thought we were all supposed to be part of the same team here, huh-- team Chuck and Y/N." " We are, but I'm starting to feel like the guy who always gets picked last, and I do not like feeling like team Chuck and Y/N's little fat kid." "Okay, you know what, the next time we have a flash, we'll come straight to you, all right, Casey?" " What did you tell Lazslo?" "Nothing. He asked me where we got our watches, and I told him Y/N's friend who I have become close to as well, gave it to us, okay?" " So you compromised yourselves and agent Walker? Bang up job, Chuck."

You were coming in to see Chuck on your break when you saw him and Morgan and it looked like Chuck was yelling at Morgan. You walked a little closer but still stayed out of the way. 'No. You know what you are, Morgan? You are this close to getting fired for sexual harassment." Chuck yelled at him. "What happened, Chuck? You used to be cool." " I-I used to be cool? When was that? When we were 13? Well, I'm sorry to go changing on you, buddy. But if you hadn't noticed, we are now chronologically-speaking, adults. So, unless you wanna work retail for the rest of your life, and by the way, drag me down with you in the process, I would suggest that you grow up." Morgan just walked away and Chuck sighed. You started to approach him slowly. "Chuck? Everything okay?" Chuck looked over at you and then just looked down again. You were now next to him and put your hand on his arm. Just one touch from you would always instantly calm him. He took a deep breath and slowly let it out then looked over at you and smiled. You smiled back at him. ""Heavy is the head that wears the crown." couldn't help but notice the way you handled that, uh, Morgan situation. That was most impressive, Chuck. " Lester said walking towards you two. "That's great, that's great." "You gave me goose bumps." Jeff said joining in as well. " Super, Jeff." You and Chuck walked away and you stopped at the Nerd Herd desk. "You okay Chuck? Why were you yelling at Morgan?" "I just have been feeling a little stressed out lately with what we are going through and this job interview..." "Hey it will be okay." you said softly. Chuck looked at you and nodded his head. "Listen how about I meet you back here when you're done work and we can hangout after and talk. Sound good?" "Yeah. That would be perfect." "Okay then. I'll see you after your shift."

It was night time and Chuck's shift was over. As he walked out the doors he saw you, changed and waiting for him outside. He smiled at you. "Long time no see." you said. Chuck laughed and came over to you and put his arm around your shoulders as you both walked to his car. All of a sudden a man with a freaky clown mask jumped in front of you both and you screamed. Chuck jumped but he kept his arm tight around you. Oh! Nice try, buddy, but, uh, Halloween's tomorrow, okay?" The man then raised a gun and pointed it at him. " Or today, or today. It could be today if you want it to be today." Chuck said trying to stay calm. The man then took off his mask. It was Lazslo. "I didn't kill anybody." he said. "Look, we-we never said you did." you said. " Then why am I on the FBI list?" he yelled now pointing his gun at you. Chuck did not like that. " I don't know. Just calm down." you said calmly. "I was framed, okay. You have to believe me. I am not a murderer." "Okay, okay. I believe you. But FYI? You're kinda acting like a murderer. And if you're going to point that gun at someone then point it at me. Please stop pointing it at her." Chuck said. Lazslo did as he was told and pointed the gun back at Chuck. "You told the undercover agent about me, didn't you? He's talking to pentagon operations right now. I tapped into the encrypted video feed at the store. I helped design that home theater system. " "Look, I-I-I don't know-- " You all heard a car honked and you all looked over. Chuck then looked back and jumped on the guy trying to grab his gun. "Get it. Get it. Get it." "Chuck!" you cried out feeling terrified for him. I got it, I got it. I got it." Lazslo eventually pushed Chuck down onto the car with the gun in his face. "No!" you cried. As Chuck lied there he all of a sudden felt drops of water on his face. "Is that a water gun?" " No." "I'm pretty sure it's dripping on my face." Lazslo let Chuck go and you breathed a sigh of relief and quickly ran over to Chuck's side helping him up and giving him a side hug, putting both your arms around him as Chuck put his arm around you, trying to catch his breath. " I'm sorry. Name's lazslo. And I need help." " What the Hell are we supposed to do?" you asked. "You're on the inside. You have access. Look, unless you help me clear my name, they're gonna keep chasing me. You two are my only hope." "Breaking out the Star Wars quotes." you said quietly. " But first... I could really use some pancakes." You and Chuck just stared at him confused.

The three of you were now at a diner, all enjoying some pancakes. You and Chuck were sitting side by side on one side of the booth while Lazslo was on the other. "What else did you make for the CIA?" Chuck asked. " Whatever the jobs called for actually. I mean, if an agent wanted thermal-vision ray bans I'm the Guy they call." " You're like a real life Q." Lazslo just looked at Chuck, not understanding. " You know. You know Q. The guy who used to make all the gadgets for Bond, Q?" you said trying to help. "Bond was that spy-guy, right?" "What, have they been keeping you in a friggin' cave?" Chuck asked. "Underground lab actually. For the last 10 years, all I did was work in that lab pretty much. Well, that and play video games. But, uh... No friends, no family." "No Bond. No wonder you blew up all your research and busted out there. That's just inhumane." Chuck said. "So what kind of work do you guys do?" "You know, it's kinda, it's kinda, uh, complicated." you said. " Right, but you gotta be some kind of a geniuses. Or prodigy? I mean feds don't bother recruiting somebody, guarding them with undercover agents, unless you're super good at something? What are you super good at?" "Let's just say we're the computer guys."

A little while later, the three of you were beginning to wrap it up. "This is great. I mean just being able to sit in a coffee shop and talk." You and Chuck let out a laugh. " Just talk. With somebody who knows what it's like working for the company. You know, if I had to do it over again, I never would have gone to that pier." "What pier?" you asked. "I was 11... And... Some agent saw me playing tetris at an arcade. So he asked me if I can take all these tests. The next thing I know, he's offering to pay my way through school. My parents, like, they didn't know what to do with a kid whose IQ is higher than both theirs combined. So they signed me over. And that's when I became property of the United States government. Sweet story, huh?" You and Chuck looked at him, both feeling sorry for him. A lady then came over with your bills. " I'm a little, I'm a little strapped. You know how government work pays." Lazslo said. " Dude, yeah. No, no, no, no, don't even worry about it. Y/N I have yours too." he said looking at you. "Chuck you don't have to." "It's fine. Don't worry." You rolled your eyes but gave him a soft smile and Chuck gave you a wink. "Here. Here's an IOU." Lazslo said handing Chuck a drawing he was doing on his napkin. " Thanks." "Guys, listen you can't tell your handlers you ever saw me." "What? Why? They can help you, Lazslo. They're the good guys." you tried to explain. "There's no such thing in this business. I mean, you don't believe me? Go home and search your room. See what kind of bugs your good guy handlers planted on you. From now on, you should trust your handlers precisely as much as they trust you." Lazslo explained. You and Chuck then looked at each other wondering what he could mean.

[salavante]

Odwain! The goodest.

Wow, featuring one of the more flattering drawings I’ve done of Odwain. Like last time, I’ll post all these guys separately and then do all the headshots in a masterpost. In the meantime buckle up for...a lot. (Thank you for giving me my favorite character.) 

Full Name: Odwain Novak. In Ben Yit’gab, the Bennai language, his first name would be Oediwen, and it’s what his dad called him. His mother calls him Oddy and he does not like it.

Gender and Sexuality: Male and Bisexual

Pronouns: He/him

Ethnicity/Species: Odwain is a Ben-Aleth, a Human-Bennai hybrid, also called a mosshead if you’re in coarse company. His human mother Blanche Novak is mixed race. Odwain’s maternal grandfather came directly from Earth, Poland specifically, during one of the several accidental migrations of humans coming from Earth to The Road. His maternal grandmother is from a previous wave who were already settled on The Road by that time, but the family can trace her ancestry back to West Africa. Odwain’s father, Ashatov Novak, was a full-blooded Bennai, a plant-based halfling race. Ashatov took his wife’s last name.

Birthplace and Birthdate: Thinking about this trips me out man. Odwain was born in 1946, sometime in the summer, probably July or August, in Septor Secundis, a coastal, metropolitan city and the seat of The Road’s government. He’s 27 during his first adventure and right now, in Godslaughter, he is 69 (what the FUCK). He will live maybe 20 or 30 years longer than your average human, and is in better physical shape than a human would be at 69. He’s more like late 40’s or early 50’s.  

Guilty Pleasures: A lot, probably - Odwain has just a bit of hedonistic streak just because he feels miserable so much of the time that he needs to feel good somehow. He smokes cigarettes for much of his life (but eventually quits), is a casual cannabis smoker and binge eats really truly terrible junk food (and has a bit of a gut because of it, but because he’s kind of lanky otherwise, he’s just kind of gourd-shaped). He likes beer, but doesn’t drink hard liqour all that often because he gets astronomically bad hangovers. Despite having a generally weak stomach, Odwain really likes frightfully spicy food, and his kids’ obligatory dad-gifts for him are probably hot sauces. When he’s not pounding down garbage, his favorite kind of cuisine is Thai. Not a guilty pleasure per say, but he also loves all things that have to do with insects, and when he and Rusty have a house together, Odwain takes up gardening as a hobby and plants an expansive garden of flora that are attractive to bees. (A Nice Thing: Odwain plants this garden when Rusty is pregnant because he found his love of insects through his father’s garden as a child, and wanted to give his kids the same opportunity) Odwain also maintains an apiary from the time that he’s living in a warehouse in the desert, to when he’s living with a partner and beyond. When he learns how to make Hot Honey it’s over for all of us. He has a modest collection of novelty bee-themed things that he’s amassed over the years, but he is not guilty about asserting his love of bees/wasps, like, at all. He’s also a little kinky but I’m not going into that.

Phobias: All of Odwain’s fears are existential - what if I push everyone away, existing in society is anxiety inducing, what if I’m just a bad person and my existence is making everything more difficult for functional people, etc. Though he’s kind of a sad fellow and has ideated suicide, and came very, VERY close to trying to kill himself after he dropped out of college, he also fears growing old and dying. I think death is more digestible to him if it’s on his own terms, but even then, I think what coaxed him off the edge was fear. If anything ever happened to his chosen romantic partner or any of his kids, he’d be besides himself, and is kind of one severe trauma and emotional breakdown away from becoming a bee-themed supervillian.

What They Would Be Famous For: Odwain is notable at a certain point in his career for being a pioneer in AI programming, and also for designing, building and patenting an invention called the Hercules Rig, which is basically a beetle-wing inspired jetpack. You can see it here. He holds the patent very closely and only allows it to be reproduced for recreation, construction, emergency rescue operations, etc. Odwain has taken a very firm stance on not allowing the military or any paramilitary organization to get their hands on it, though it has not stopped them from making shitty knock-offs that he is constantly suing people about.

What They Would Get Arrested For: Breaking and entering. Exploding something he shouldn’t. Buying illegal hazardous materials. Doing something petty that bites him in the ass.

OC You Ship Them With: To be honest there are not a lot of other characters besides Rusty that I ship him with. Bitter college rivals, thrown back together as late twenty-somethings, becoming better people together and learning to express empathy and vulnerability…it’s good. The only other character that I really go yeah, that’s the good stuff, is Jake’s character Finnick, who is kind of Odwain’s weird BFF and fellow mad scientist type. I don’t think they’d have a super stable relationship, and I think it would most likely be a “we yelled at each other and had weird sex enough that we like each other now” kind of scenario. But I do think they would come to love each other and have each other’s back to the death. Him and Hemlock, my dirty swamp witch who’s only picture was devoured during the great tumblr purge, also make a pretty fun couple for similar reasons. Iona too, but I think they are too explosive of personalities to ever find a stable middle ground. I also think he would find certain people attractive (August, Hare, Ganzrig, Ifechi the man I have spoken of but once, Jonquil in certain scenarios) but may not put himself out there to pursue them.

Neither of us have ever posted any art of her but here’s a few headshots of Finnick I did awhile ago, because she really is my favorite romantic partner for Odwain aside from Rusty, and is the only other one that’s really relevant in our games. 

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Odwain is fairly physically fragile and to be honest I think that most people could kill him as long as they could get their hands on him - he’s very dexterous and has a lot of gadgets that let him get the upper hand, keep enemies at a distance or escape. He has a ranged fighting/add-spawn build so he is mostly out of direct harm unless he’s reeled in somehow. But uh, Odwain IS dead right now in Godslaughter, he died fighting an eldritch deity named Dreamer who sucked him into a nightmare dimension and flayed his soul out of his body. It’s ok though, as long as the party beats Dio, he’ll be fine. I didn’t cry you’re the one who’s crying.

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Ok, so, first off HAHA Odwain canonically likes Transformers and collects them, which are a thing in circulation after the last human migration from earth in the 90’s. Imagine. Imagine your grown ass father with a genius level IQ and multiple patents collecting plastic robots. Him and Finnick have transformers sonas - ANYWAY, that aside, he doesn’t really read for pleasure, just information, and generally just puts on cable while he works for white noise (and in later years, whatever The Road’s TV streaming service is). Most of the media he consumes is incidental to him, but will get interested in strange things that pique his interest. He probably thinks true crime docs are neat and enjoys pulpy sci-fi stuff that he can complain about. Any documentary about bugs. He’d like Mystery Science Theatre if they had it around. He enjoys things that are the fun, good kind of “bad” and has a fairly high threshold for  disturbing imagery.

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Odwain is that guy who makes 20 minute long youtube videos lampooning movies for “not making sense”. If there’s anything that breaks his suspension of disbelief, his attention and tolerance disintegrates, even if it’s just one of those things that needs to happen to move the plot along. It doesn’t really matter what genre it is, though he is most hard on sci-fi and fantasy. There is a tipping point for him, however, where he starts enjoying the thrill of blasting something and circles back around to enjoying it.

Talents and/or Powers: Odwain is only a little bitty bit magical, and only because Bennai are the most magical race on The Road. He has latent magical ability that allows him to sense magical signatures and incorporate magic into technology, and maybe cast a low level spell if he tries really hard. If he was in a high fantasy setting, he’d be an enchanter. His staff (the big lightbulb thing I draw him with sometimes), the Hercules Rig, his Wasp Suite (robotic wasps with an AI and different spells loaded into them) and any other devilish, bug-based weapons and utility objects do his work for him.

Why Someone Might Love Them: Odwain’s a bit of a tough walnut to crack because I think that he shines in moments of sincerity and vulnerability, but he has to, well, get there. He’s capable of very great, thoughtful acts of selflessness and compassion, and deeply desires meaningful relationships with other people, but he gets insecure about how he expresses himself and can clam up. He’s passionate, emotional and expressive, but has been put down for being so, and was probably a very brilliant, curious child who was beaten down into a somber adult. I actually think that, at some point in his childhood, he was not entirely unlike Whitty in the way that he was eager to share things with people and explore the world around him, which is why Odwain feels very protective of his grandson. I think the most lovable thing about him is that when he’s at his best, nothing can stop him - he’s extremely intelligent, diligent, creative and innovative. He truly, deeply loves making things, and making them better, and when he’s not in a crash, creates prolifically. What he loves, he loves deeply and without compromise, which makes Rusty, a person that could also be said of, a good match for him. I also think his cattiness makes him very witty, he’s a genuinely funny guy who can engage in some really goofy shenanigans when he’s feeling up for it.  

Why Someone Might Hate Them: Oh, lots of reasons. Odwain is an acquired taste to many, or just not to many’s taste at all. He is very petty, blunt and catty, and as a young man is extremely bitter and negative. You’d be very hard pressed to get a positive statement about anything out of him between the ages of 16-25. He’s very confrontational, can become very loud and intense if it’s something that he feels is important, and is not afraid to cut people out of his life if he feels that they aren’t good for him. Sometimes, he will end relationships/friendships prematurely because of this. Being such, he is heavily prone to self-inflicted isolation. He has no childhood friends, and only kept in touch with one person from college. He just cuts and runs. Odwain’s self-loathing runs very deep, which makes it hard for him to accept, or ask for, emotional support or affection. And that can be hard on the people around him who care about him. His executive dysfunction can also be abysmal, making it seem like perhaps he is messy or lazy, but he’s just kind of a mess himself, hah.

A weird non-psychological one but I think is enough to get someone’s hackles up is that Odwain doesn’t like animals very much unless they are insects, invertebrates, etc. He finds mammals loud, messy and needy, and that “I’m the only one in my house that is allowed to be all of those things”.

How They Change: As Odwain ages and gains a stable support network of friends, his edges soften and he learns how to ask for help more effectively. He also learns how to better choose his battles, and how to exercise the compassion that he knows he has, but has been too insecure to utilize. He manages his mental health better, but is never entirely free of it, because you never really are. Most importantly, I think, he learns how to forgive the people who deserve forgiveness, and give people second chances, accepting that people can change. Which means the same can be said for him, too.

Why You Love Them: I’ve talked about this before, somewhere, I’m sure. Odwain is one of those characters that has a very big slice of my personality, and has a lot of my more negative traits, though they are ones we’re both working on. My first session with Odwain was a scene where Odwain’s dad died after being ill for a very long time, and as it happens, it was on father’s day, on the first or second father’s day after MY dad died, after several brutal months fighting with the cancer that eventually killed him. I had to put down the dice, so to speak, and for a short time, thought that Odwain might actually be a character that I scrapped completely. He came too close to something very painful and personal. I don’t remember how, exactly, but the solution to this problem of mine was that if he’s getting close to me on his own, then I might as well just let him in on everything. I can genuinely say that doing that has changed the way that I empathize with my characters and how I make them, and that there is something I share with Odwain that I don’t have with many of my other characters. Also, I like bees.

[thefantasticm]

Establishing Angst in AGBM

I am by no means a master of angst or conveying tension, and a lot of the times some of what I write that affects people the most was completely incidental. But I do try, and meet varying degrees of success depending on the scene. Here are some dank tools/things/advice I use and constantly keep in mind in order to help crank up the FEELS, and can apply to pretty much anything if you want some ideas as to how to do so.

1. Showing and Telling First thing’s first: ‘Show, don’t tell’ is absolutely ATROCIOUS advice. It is vague and unhelpful and wrong. Some things must be told. If everything were shown, every story in the history of man would sink to the bottom of the ocean, weighed down by a bloated scrotum of tedium and pedantry. There must be a balance, and yes, showing should be favored, but never to an extreme. I personally aim for a 70:30 ratio when it comes to showing and telling in my writing. It is a good ballpark to aim for because landing at 60:40 is still fine and 80:20 is also perfectly readable. Falling to 50:50 and below is where things start to get... bad. Anything below will usually be noticeably boring to even unpracticed readers. When it comes to conveying angst and tension in writing, emotions are key (so Cage has the right idea, but his execution is... well). It is fine and good and proper to tell the reader what the character is feeling, in simple terms. Yet it is something that must be balanced, as we’ve established. It is not enough to say “Hank was sad.” We must say “Hank was sad ABLOOBLOOBLOO.” And by ABLOOBLOOBLOO, I mean describing the physicality of that reaction. We’ve all been sad before, know what it feels like, so describing that churning gut, that beating heart, that sinking feeling - all of it helps to establish that sadness, and can make the reader feel it in turn. Maybe Hank will lash out with that sadness in an unhealthy attempt at emotional release. Maybe he’ll think about wanting to drink, or holding his gun, etc - and describing all of that becomes a showing of where that emotion takes him, depressive, reactionary thoughts that the audience can relate to. I say all that, but it’s also sometimes okay to just say “Hank was sad” and leave it at that. Sparingly, mind you... And exactly when those moments are most appropriate is a whoooole different discussion. 2. Third Person Limited This is less advice and more... information, since something like this is really at the mercy of the writer. Everyone has different preferences for how they narrate a story. I personally despise first person narration, I adore second person (in short bursts, it’s hard to carry a longer story with it), third person objective can be interesting or the exact opposite, and third person omniscient... well. In my very humble opinion, there is no easier way to suck all the emotional tension out of a story. If you are trying to tell an emotional story, third person omniscient is just... heinous. It can be great for grand, sweeping adventure stories, but when trying to establish an angsty emotional creep? Noooo fucking thank you. Holding the audience’s hand when it comes to how every character is feeling, giving information too freely - what a great way to remove any and all emotional stakes! Pick a character. A. One (1). Beyond that character, there can be no ‘outsider’ information. Everything must come through that one character’s eyes. They can infer, they can guess, they can assume the feelings of other characters. They might even be right most of the time! But the audience must never be told this through any other means. Which is why... Keep the narrating character uninformed. Nothing can dispel tension faster than certainty. Emotional tension and angst is most readily mined in what is uncertain. And God, this is such a fucking pain in the ass with ROBOT characters - not impossible, but fuck, I digress. Hank’s emotional hang-ups and struggles become more real and relatable when he does not know what Connor is thinking - when he projects, when he guesses, when he assumes. Hank does not KNOW Connor is in love with him, he simply perceives it, and convinces himself it is true, and thus convinces the audience. They see only what he sees, what he observes, and even when Hank is oblivious to it at the start, the audience is given the room and space to fill in their own conclusions because Hank does NOT know everything, and so when Hank has his ‘realization,’ the audience is even more convinced than he is! Absolute 9000 IQ shit, I know (it’s not). And so when Hank falls away from what he convinced himself of, which is separate from what the audience knows, it’s a little... gut wrenching? No, Hank, don’t doubt it! He does love you! But Hank can’t hear your screams from where he is... And when he comes back to it, when it is far more obvious, it has a much stronger effect. Can you imagine how fucking boring that shit would be if Hank was absolutely 100% certain Connor loved him from start to finish? Jesus. However, it’s important to give the audience a bit more to work with than just everything the main character perceives. Bits and pieces that the audience will pick up on, that the main character technically observes, but is something they do not out and out notice or give much thought to. Not every insight can and should be shared between the main character and the audience. The audience should have just a bit more information that allows them to draw conclusions that characters in the story might not otherwise think of. Which leads us to... 3. Dramatic Irony Mmm... Dramatic irony is just... *chef kiss* Mwah! It is beautiful and glorious. This is what makes the collective sphincter of an audience shiver with fear. I would not say it is my bread and butter, and good angst needs it not, but when it comes to a hard hitting tragic turn of events, no tool will smack an audience in the face harder than dramatic irony. Quick rundown: Dramatic irony is when the audience knows something the characters do not. Some of the most memorable tragedies make use of dramatic irony. Romeo and Juliet? The audience knew Juliet was asleep, not dead, but Romeo... did not. Oedipus? We know that’s his mom... Oedipus... Oedipus no! Dramatic irony is so powerful because the audience is given time to sense the impending doom but they are powerless to do anything about it. They want to stop it, but cannot. Helpless to watch things go wrong. The cold sinking feeling of your heart dropping to your feet. Dramatic irony can be hard to handle, since it will have little to no effect if you cannot get the audience invested in the story and the characters. It is also difficult in the sense that it can become somewhat silly if it is made too obvious. If the feeling of ‘oh god, x is probably going to happen’ comes too soon, the tension when it happens will not be as strong. On the flip side, if it comes too late, or god forbid, it’s not picked up on at all, it will fall flat. Not saying I did it perfectly by any means, but I did try. If you are looking to pull any sort of twist, or just fuck with the audience in general, dramatic irony is a great way to do so, without being hamfisted and preachy, or sudden and purposeless (like Alice being an android).

4. Repetition This is also highly personal choice, but over the years in writing I’ve found that pieces in which I used repetition tended to have better reception than those that did not. Repetition, whether it’s purely through language (which is mostly what I do) or theme, can help really really really drive home a point or emotion to an audience. Repeating certain phrases. Or just one word. Maybe a character says something they said once in the beginning of the fic. Of course, all of this must be done in moderation, and the timing of it has to line up with whatever you are trying to convey to the audience. Sometimes the ‘thing’ you are trying to convey can even be nebulous and mysterious, but then the point becomes to make the audience think more about it, which makes them more invested, which makes the hurts a bit hurtier... I do this a lot by repeating questions. What would he change? How had they arrived at this point? Honestly when I put it out like this I feel a bit silly, and it doesn’t work for everyone, but it works for some, and that is what matters. Mostly... it works for me! 5. The Short Short Long ‘Something was holding him back, a lump lodging itself in his throat. He thought of Connor at home and the way he called him Hank, Hank, Hank. There was nothing unusual about it, but beneath Wilson’s scrutiny it felt private, it felt intimate, and Hank could not find it within himself to lay open something that all of a sudden felt so profoundly raw.’ ‘Connor was the one that was embarrassed. Intensely so, to the point it had rubbed off on Hank. This was not a situation he would normally give much thought to, but Connor’s reaction made him feel as if he had done something wrong, as if he had broken some unspoken trust between them; and as he stood there watching the android, so human in the smallest of ways, Hank felt dirty.‘ ‘Hank wasn’t sure whether he dreamt those words or not. It felt like he did, with the hazy dreams that followed. In them, it was not Hank who left, but Connor - the one that could not be held down by the words that boiled in Hank’s chest but lacked the strength to be spoken; the outline of his body as he stepped through the front door, bathed in sunlight, warping the vision of him until there was nothing left.’ ‘In what capacity? It didn’t matter, did it? Hank needed him and his chest felt light; how easy it was to admit it now, all of a sudden, as if the past ten days, those agonizing ten days, had never happened.’ ...Get it? I’m not sure if this actually does anything. But I like it, so I’m putting it in. Long Short Shorts are also valid. Really the idea is that the rhythm of the tension suddenly gets much faster in the final point, thus making it seem more desperate, and driving it home more. But. I could just be imagining things? Hmm... 6. What Remains Unsaid Sometimes a character will want to say something, but doesn’t. Or they’ll think something, but say something completely different. Or they will infer a hidden meaning, unspoken sentiment, from another character. The things that aren’t said should still be told to the audience! However you want to do it. As much as these things can work in comedy, so too can they work in angst. It’s a very simple thing, but this can serve to drive up the tension, and have the audience clench their teeth from it. Deceptively simple! The feeling of ‘just say it, dammit!’ is a near universal one and should not be ignored! 7. DURRRRRRRRRR MUH CLICHE There is no such thing as an ‘original’ story anymore. You can add your spins and your twists and your little tweaks, but the fact of the matter is that every ‘core’ of a story has already been written. There is NOTHING wrong with cliche. NOTHING. Themes and plots and twists that are common are common because they are usually effective. Anyone who insists otherwise is... as much as I’d like to call them stupid, I really would, what they need is to be educated. The reason people tend to shy away from ‘cliche’ is because when it is done poorly, it is often excruciating. It can be really awful. But one should not shy away from cliche for the fear of doing it poorly. Embrace it! Write it to the best of your ability! If a ‘cliche’ is where a story leads you, then it’s not wrong! Why did I include this? Because most of all this fear of cliche applies strongly to angst, sad tropes, tragedy, etc. After that? Fantasy adventure stories and romance. 8. The High Highs Angst is worthless without a counterweight. Personally I think I’m god awful at writing fluff, but you will never be able to write good angst if you can’t squeeze out some manner of happy scenes. And going back to point #1, you have to show at least one of these happy scenes. It doesn’t have to be over the top. It can even be bittersweet. Hope over happiness, in case you don’t want to go full joyous. Once you start really getting into the angst the happiness and the hope will likely start to diminish, but I say it is usually a good idea to leave ONE good upwards scene interspersed in there somewhere. My final hopeful scenes in AGBM were Connor returning from Washington DC, and to a lesser extent the beginning of their final argument. I used a lot of loaded language in that small span of time to make the drop-off even worse, but that is an entirely different post...

9. Never Reward Your Readers Never reward your readers. Never reward your readers! NEVER REWARD YOUR READERS!!!!

Tell your story how you think it should be told.

NEVER REWARD YOUR READERS.

10. Alliteration Doesn’t actually do anything. I just like it.

[kiosklong]

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