finland-isnt-real

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If you’re visiting Finland and want to buy souvenirs, consider getting something made out of cloudberry (lakka, hilla or suomuurain in Finnish). Cloudberries grow only in the northern hemisphere on/near swamps. Cloudberries are “very juicy, and they taste a bit like a cross between a raspberry and a red currant. They are fairly tart when eaten raw with a bit of floral sweetness” (source x).

Cloudberries are not rare or endangered but they are quite pricey because it is nearly impossible to cultivate them. They are still picked from their natural growing places, which are far away from settlements, hard to reach and usually full of mosquitoes and horse-flies. The “cloudberry centers” of Finland are especially Ranua, Utsjoki and some parts in Eastern Finland (Vaara-Suomi). 

Finns typically eat cloudberries/cloudberry jam with leipäjuusto (”bread cheese”, the Finnish squeaky cheese). You could also have cloudberries with some sugar and whipped cream or with ice cream. Some cloudberry products you could buy are cloudberry jam, juice, liqueur, marmalade, candies or baked goods. 

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Vappu/Finnish May Day 101

What is vappu? Vappu is a Finnish festival celebrated on May 1st. Or actually, the celebration usually takes place on April 30th. It is a festival for the working class, for students, a city carneval, kind of a mix of everything.  

What do people do on vappu? Drink, eat, decorate, go to the city centre, crown statues with student caps, celebrate. Adults (and teenagers) basically get drunk, children might dress up in costumes and get special helium-filled balloons (helium balloons aren’t really a thing in Finland except for vappu) 

What are some special vappu foods? Sima/Finnish mead, tippaleipä/funnel cake, nakit/wiener sausages, perunasalaatti/potato salad and munkki/doughnut 

What’s that weird sailor hat everybody seems to be wearing?  It’s ylioppilaslakki, the Finnish student cap. It’s black-and-white with a golden cockade in front. It is worn by those who have graduated from lukio (kind of like high school/sixth form/gymnasium but not quite. For more detailed info on that, click here). Engineering students have a special cap with a tassel. There is also a cap for those who graduated from ammattikoulu, a vocational school instead of lukio: the cap looks basically the same but is more colourful.

And what’s with those weird overalls with logos and random patches? They’re student overalls. Think of them as an informal student uniform for university/polytechnics students. I explained them here earlier in detail, take a look if you’re interested!  In general, vappu is a very important festival for students and many start celebrating it days before the actual festival.

Why is everybody drunk? I don’t know, Finns have a collective drinking problem. It is true that a great deal of Finns get absolutely shitfaced during vappu but it doesn’t mean you have to. Especially if you are a student, there’s probably gonna be a lot of peer pressure, but still, no one has to drink or get drunk if they don’t want to. But if you want, then sure, go ahead. I, for instance, am going to get wasted on this vappu (yes, this is a scheduled post) but I have had many vappus earlier and they’ve been fine too. Right now, I am just discovering the Unbearable Lightness of Being And Nothing In Life Matters But in a Good Way so I Might as Well Get Drunk. Moral of this story: if you want to get drunk on vappu, get drunk on vappu. If you are getting drunk on vappu because others pressure you or you want to fit in but in reality don’t want to get drunk, don’t do it, it is not worth it. And naturally if you’re a minor, I don’t really recommend drinking.      But alright, enough with the alcohol politics. If you are in Finland during vappu, HAVE FUN! ENJOY! YAY! HAUSKAA VAPPUA!!

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Jaksaa, jaksaa!

In Finnish, we have this lovely little verb ”jaksaa”.

Yesterday we had a lovely discussion on it at the uni (thank you to my friends, it was really interesting!) and got to a conclusion that this word impossible to translate to English simply and profoundly.

A dictionary gives options such as manage, be able to, have enough strength. They’re all okay and usable, but not spot on. Jaksaa means a state that’s mental as well as physical, it means that someone has the energy or strength and willpower to keep on going; it means that someone is powerful enough to do something. Easiest way to get close to the meaning is to give examples.

In sports you might hear someone yelling to a skier “jaksaa, jaksaa!” which roughly could be translated as a cheer or order to keep going.

“Jaksa vielä vähän aikaa” – “Bear it a little while while more”, something to say to someone who’s hurting and waiting for help, or someone who is really impatiently waiting to get somewhere.

“Kyllä hän jaksaa” – “He will be able to do it”, for example when someone needs to lift something heavy, and not everyone believes, you could say this.

Again I found it eternally interesting as to how languages do have words that are not so easy and straight-forward to translate.

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Just ran across to an obscure article called “The Worst Cities in Finland”. Whereas you totally are allowed to criticize Finland and list the shittiest corners of this country, I think this article is full of mistakes and dumb exaggerations, and let me tell you why.

The number one on the list is Kajaani: it is “perharps the worst city in Finland due to the high rate of racism” and “additionally” is an unilingual town where everybody speaks Finnish. Alright. Kajaani is maybe a bit of a backwater town with racist people, but it really is not as dangerous as it sounds. Really. And honestly, if you go to a very homogeneous place anywhere in the world, people will be more prejudiced than in heterogeneous places!! This is not rocket science. 

Number two on the list is Kani. Alright, Kani is apparently a city with a high crime rate. Alright. The is only one problem: THERE IS NO PLACE CALLED KANI IN FINLAND? Trust me, I have traveled finland from head to toe and side to side and never heard of this dangerous crime-ridden city of Kani. I even tried to find it on Google Maps but the closest match was an uninhabited island called Kaninpaska (lit. “Rabbit’s shit, just next to Munasuo, “egg/dick swamp”). 

Anyway, moving onto number three, which is Jyväskylä. Jyväskylä is the 3rd worst city in Finland because it has “unsafe cycling paths” and ”is also one of the places with a high number of violent crime such as assault and armed robbery. ” I don’t know. I have rode a bicycle in Jyväskylä with no troubles; I’d say Helsinki is more unsafe when it comes to cycling paths but it is not mentioned on the list. Also, I would like to see some solid proof and statistics for the number of violent crimes in Jyväskylä. And in the end, in comparison to other countries, Finland is a very safe place. If I wanted to warn you about something in Finland, I’d say avoid drunk people and dark alleys late at night. But isn’t that something you would say to anyone in any country? 

Number four is Vaasa. Apparently “one of the smallest cities in Finland”. Alright, this might just be my opinion, but Vaasa is actually bigger than many Finnish cities (e.g. Rovaniemi, Seinäjoki, Mikkeli, Kotka, Porvoo, Kokkola….), an university city, and the regional capital of Osthrobothnia; therefore, I find calling Vaasa “one of the smallest cities in Finland” quite misleading. Anyway, again it is stated in the article that  “ Vaasa is also unsafe to walk alone at night.” I am repeating myself, but isn’t that something you could say about every city in the world?? In addition, I would like to see some statistics or other solid proof for statements like this. 

Last but not least is Turku. According to the article, Turku is ruled by vehicular traffic and the narrow streets of this “Ancient City” are very dangerous to the cyclists. Also, the great number of automobiles has lead to increased pollution. Whereas this might be true, again, Finland is one of the least polluted countries in the world. And I don’t know, Turku did not really stand out on that World Air Quality Index map I linked. 

In conclusion, to me, this article was a piece of unnecessary misleading crap. Some of you might not agree with me, and that is okay. Anyway, I am ready to fight this Terri “Scandinavia Travel Expert” Mapes who wrote this article. And no, Finland is not a part of Scandinavia. 

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Random Finnish word of the day

älynväläys

basically “flash of intelligence”: when someone invents or comes up with something witty and new. Often also used with sarcasm.

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teach us long-ass finnish words

In Finnish, words are generally long compared to English, for example. But there are those extra-long words, too. There are basically two ways to make really long-ass words: compounding and conjugation.

In this post, I focus on nouns. I’ll make one for verbs later on!

Compound words consist of two or more words put together.

ylioppilastutkintolautakunta - the board of matriculation degree (? I am not sure how to translate this, feel free to help me)

makaronilaatikkoresepti - recipe for macaroni casserole

laskuvarjohyppääjäkoulutus - skydiver training

ammattikorkeakoulu - university of applied sciences

talvipäivänseisaus - winter solstice

and, the longest I found:

atomiydinenergiareaktorigeneraattorilauhduttajaturbiiniratasvaihde - I have no idea how to translate this, but it’s some kind of a part of a nuclear power reactor.

Then, because we tend to add things to the ends of the words to give more meaning to them, that’s also a way to make long words:

laskuvarjohyppääjäkoulutuksellaankin - with his/her skydiver training, too (in a sentence: Se olisi vaarallista hänen laskuvarjohyppääjäkoulutuksellaankin - It would be dangerous even with his traning as a skydiver)

And then there’s the one sometimes mentioned as the longest word in Finnish that is not a coumpound word: epäjärjestelmällistyttämättömyydelläänsäkäänköhän. It’s not a real word though, but

epäjärjestelmällisyys is, and so is epäjärjestelmällisyydelläänkään.

So, there’s some long words. Followers, feel free to send me more! I’ll tag them as long words, let’s make a list ;)

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Hyvää naistenpäivää! Happy International Women’s day!

In honor of that, let me introduce you some of the many great Finnish women. 

Helene Schjerfbeck

Painter, best known for her self-portraits.

Minna Canth

Writer, journalist and a social activist; first Finnish woman to receive her own flag day (March 19th). 

Tove Jansson

An artist, best known as the creator of the Moomin series.

Armi Ratia

Founder or Marimekko. 

Leena Peltonen-Palotie

Geneticist who contributed to identification of various Finnish heritage diseases. Was considered one of the leading molecular geneticists of the world.

Elisabeth Rehn

Politician. First female minister of defence in the whole world.

Tarja Halonen

Former president of Finland. Also a human rights and sustainable development activist.

Marja-Liisa Kirvesniemi

Cross country skier. Was the most successful athlete in 1984 winter olympics. 

Karita Mattila

World famous operatic soprano. 

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Sauna for dummies

Sauna is an essential to Finnish culture. Back in the days Finns did not only bathe, but also cooked, gave birth and healed the sick in the sauna. There are also many old sauna-related beliefs.

Go naked! It’s better, trust me. If you feel shy or uncomfortable, you can always take a towel.

Bring a small towel you can sit on. For hygienic reasons. Also because the benches may be uncomfortably hot.

Some public saunas are unisex. Just letting you know. But don’t worry, people usually act very appropriately.

Don’t wear a swimsuit in a sauna if you swam in a pool! You most likely have chlorine on your swimsuit. It will vaporize and it’s toxic.

First shower, then sauna, then shower again. If you’re at a summer cottage, it might not be possible to take a shower first, though.

Spanking yourself with a birch whisk may sound weird, but it’s really worth it. It’s called vasta or vihta in Finnish. It helps your blood circulation and it smells good.

Some like it hot, some don’t. Quite often you hear Finns say that the perfect sauna temperature is somewhere between 80 and 100 °C (176-212 °F) degrees but some like lower temperatures around 60-70 degrees (140-158 °F). Or even lower. And it’s totally okay! Sauna is not a competition. Though Finland used to host sauna world championships. No more championships have been held since 2010 when the men’s final turned out to be fatal.

There’s a lot of sauna-related vocabulary in Finnish. See some examples here!

There’s nothing sexual in sauna. Though there are ”gay saunas” all over the world and sweating naked in a steamy dim room while spanking yourself with twigs may sound kind of peculiar, sauna is just for bathing and relaxation purposes. 

Electric sauna in the city is good, but nothing beats a wooden sauna by a lake in the middle of nowhere.

Experience the smoke sauna! Smoke saunas have no chimney, which means that the room will be filled with smoke. When it’s hot enough, the smoke is ventilated out and only after that you go in. It takes time and skill to prepare the smoke sauna properly and safely. 

Add some scent. Many shops sell different kinds of sauna scents which are basically scented oils you add in the water you throw on the sauna stove. Some typical scents are eucalyptus, birch and tar. Some throw beer on the stove (it will smell like bread).

Opposites attract. Run out of the steamy sauna and jump into a lake or dive into a pile of snow. Or combine these two and go ice swimming! If these outdoor activities are not possible, take a cold shower. You will feel alive.

Humidity is as important as the heat! A hot, dry sauna is very uncomfortable. Remember to throw water on the stove.

The more water you throw, the hotter it will be. Also the higher you sit, the higher the temperature.

Sauna is not dangerous, but there are some things you should pay attention to. Don’t stay in for too long. Don’t go to sauna if you are sick. You sweat in sauna, which means you lose fluids; remember to drink afterwards. If you have heart problems, avoid sudden temperature changes. 

Sauna makes you relaxed. It is not recommended to go before exercising; it’s not dangerous, but you will feel lazy. 

Have a beer afterwards. It’s just a tradition.

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Fazer’s Mignon eggs, full chocolate eggs in an actual eggshell, are a Finnish easter tradition. 

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what do you think are the best Finnish foods? I'm in a culture exploration club at school & I wanna make a mini presentation to tell them why we should pick Finnish culture as our next culture to "explore" (the ppl in the club love food so yea)

Sorry, this reply is a bit late! but some foods:

salmiakki (salty liquorice)foods with tar, tar ice cream for instancepulla (sweet bread roll)laskiaispulla (sweet bread roll with whipped cream/jam/marzipan)runebergin tortut (pastry flavored with (bitter) almond and arrack/rum)mustikkapiirakka (Finnish blueberry pie)karjalanpiirakka (Karelian pastry)poronkäristys (sauteéd reindeer)mustamakkara (blood sausage)vispipuuro (sweet semolina porridge with berries)ruisleipä (rye bread)graavilohi  (cured salmon)viili  (yogurt-like dairy product)mämmi  (rye flour&molasses, traditional easter dessert)uusia perunoita voikastikkeessa (”new” potatoes in butter sauce + other summery recipes)I like finnish food in general but I know many who think it is bland and disgusting. :D but give these a try!

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Although Finnish Americans make up only 0.2 % of the American population, there are many talented celebrities and influential Americans who can claim Finnish heritage.

Ink Tank has assembled a list of 13 famous Americans with Finnish heritage. How many of them have you already known?

http://inktank.fi/finn-tastic-13-celebrities-didnt-know-finnish-americans/

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Aasinsilta

A bridge of a donkey

Meaning: A weird connection from a topic to another in a conversation.

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finland: *is freezing cold*

a finnish person: *still won't wear proper winter boots*

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What is your and Finland's opinion on Levan Polka? I love it , but I understand that some can find it annoying.

If you’re anime trash, I’m pretty sure you’re familiar with Ievan Polkka. for those who don’t know: Ievan Pol(o)kka is a Finnish folk song by Eino Kettunen. The title is commonly mistaken as “Levan polkka”, but the first letter is actually a capital i, so the song title is “ieva’s polka”. Ieva is the name “Eeva” in Savonian dialect. The tune is strongly influenced by western Russian folk dances. The song is sung in Finnish, though in a heavy Savonian dialect.

The narrator in the song is a man who fancies Eeva. They sneak out to dance polka, to escape Eeva’s strict mother. 

The most famous version is performed by a Finnish band Loituma in 1995. The song became a huge internet hit, especially after the leekspin meme broke through in 2006. The song became even more popular when it was covered by Miku Hatsune, a Vocaloid singer. 

The part featured in leekspin and Miku Hatsune’s song is actually just pure gibberish, which is the reason some Finns are actually surprised to learn it’s from a Finnish song. But when they learn it’s Finnish, they become real proud because hey, someone just mentioned Finland.Most Finns I know really love it. I love it as well. made me realise how beautiful and interesting Finnish can actually sound. :D

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sama

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I think it's that time of the year when you should teach your international followers the finnish word "pikkujoulu".

I agree. So. Let’s talk about pikkujoulut. Literally it means ‘little Christmas’. Or actually, Christmases, because joulut is a plural form of joulu. But usually when people talk they use the plural form. You know how Christmas is a nice family festival for Christians and people who live in a predominantly Christian world. But it might also be a little boring. That’s why Finns came up with pikkujoulut, which in practice is a pre-christmas party. They’re usually take place in the end of November or the beginning of December. And these parties usually are, well, not very Christian. I found this photo which pretty much embodies pikkujoulut:

In other words, it’s just an another excuse for Finns to get drunk and act like idiots.

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In Finland... #11

One of our most popular memes at the moment is kuhameemi. The word kuha means zander, but in spoken Finnish the word kunhan (as long as) is usually shortened as kuha.

The meme was also once used by the Finnish police:

(It’s saying “the winter won’t surprise you, as long as you change the winter tires”, in spoken Finnish, but it also says “the winter wont surprise you, zander changes the winter tires”)