#young vincent cassel

[mcpirita]

La Haine (1995)

[asklesbianonceler]

I watched Brotherhood of the Wolf with Bea last night and at the end she was like "I know you're going to be thinking about the villain for weeks" and y'all.... I hate that she was right. Like, I can't tell her she's right but

[denimbex1986]

'The star of Christopher Nolan’s latest blockbuster, Oppenheimer, Cillian Murphy, has consistently shown that he has more substance than most of his Hollywood peers. Whether this be via his general persona or his love of great music, it’s not often that a person in the limelight proves themselves to be such an authentic artist.

Demonstrating this point, Murphy recently revealed that the late David Bowie inspired the aesthetic for his performance as the father of the atomic bomb, J. Robert Oppenheimer, in the new Christopher Nolan thriller. The Irish actor explained in an interview that he drew on the musician’s ‘Thin White Duke’ era and on-stage persona when creating his version of the physicist.

“We worked very closely with our costume designer to design the clothes,” the actor told MTV Movies, “And particularly, I wanted to get his silhouette. He was very fragile, he was very, very slim, and I wanted to get that silhouette right.”

Murphy added: “Chris (Nolan) sent me a couple of shots of David Bowie, certain periods in David Bowie’s career, like Thin White Duke and around Young Americans’ time.”

Regarding Bowie’s persona, Murphy continued: “He had these massive trousers, and he was so emaciated but so fucking cool…So we used that, weirdly, for some of Oppenheimer’s trousers.”

This kind of unique approach has made Cillian Murphy such a fan favourite over the years. Adding to his substance, whilst the actor is a big music lover, he’s also a lifelong film buff and has provided many great accounts of movies in his time. He recently demonstrated this fascination with the form on a more forensic level than usual when he and Nolan appeared in the Video Club for the French publication Konbini as part of the promotional run for Oppenheimer.

Having their discussion in a room filled with DVDs, the pair picked out some of their favourite titles from the shelves and explained their admiration. Whilst there were many notable moments, a highlight was when Cillian Murphy chose Mathieu Kassovitz’s stylish 1995 crime drama La Haine. The modern French classic stars Vincent Cassel, Hubert Koundé and Saïd Taghmaoui as three friends from a poor immigrant background in the Paris suburbs.

The movie was a critical hit, with Kassovitz awarded the ‘Best Director’ prize at the 1995 Cannes Film Festival. It was also the breakout role for Vincent Cassel and would set him up for a successful career. It transpires that the quality of La Haine impacted Cillian Murphy so that he much called it a “masterpiece” and revealed that he was “obsessed with it” around the time of its release.

He told Nolan: “La Haine, one of my favourites. I showed it to my kids recently, this movie. They were absolutely knocked out, I mean, I think it’s a masterpiece. It hasn’t aged, it’s still as relevant, incredibly shot, and the black and white again. I saw that when I was… ’95… yeah, then I was just, I hadn’t even become an actor then, I was just kind of into films. I remember I had a La Haine t-shirt and everything, there was a special edition DVD box set that I had; I was obsessed with it. The score and that as well is amazing, amazing performances.”'

[aralisj]

Pas de Deux || The Bear Ballet AU

It is highly unlikely that I'll write anything - this is just a random concept that came to me in a daydream. Enjoy some loose thoughts under the cut though.

Donna as a Dance Mom™ would be perfectly in character. She's constantly reviving her glory days as a ballerina on the corps of Chicago ballet. She resents her children for making her give up her career, potentially giving Nat body image and self esteem issues, and pushing Mikey and Carmy past their breaking point… Also her whole aura screams cunty ballet teacher cursing and smoking during class.

Mikey takes over Donna's studio after a career ruining injury (and subsequently gets addicted to painkillers).

Carmy gets a scholarship to study ballet in Europe, then returns to climb the ranks and eventually become a principal dancer in the New York ballet. The plays on his name and the ballet Carmen are fucking exhausting and end in a shouting match more than once.

New York asshole boss is an old school ballet master. I'm picturing Vincent Cassel in The Black Swan, vicious and overbearing, giving Carmy shit for his height, and being a "Sergei Polunin wannabe" with his tattoos and his smoking.

Sydney dances from a young age, inspired by her mom. She gets very badly injured and steps aside for a while. She followed Carmy's career closely and saw him dance on her trip to New York. After a miraculous recovery from her injury, she takes up dance again and joins the studio - Carmy sees her as the only one on his level. Her dream is being a prima ballerina (and dancing a pas de deux with the Carmy Berzatto wouldn't hurt either).

Tina is a self taught dancer and Mikey brings her in to teach beginners classes and ballroom dance.

Richie is just there (canon compliant lmao). He picks up some stuff over the years but not enough to teach. He eventually becomes essential to running the place, booking venues and running social media for the studio as it grows into a high level academy (think Eva Nys on TikTok)

Nat abandoned dance completely right as she could have turned professional (Donna never forgives her) but she returns as a manager for the studio once things start to get serious after Carmy's return.

Pete LOVES ballet but can't dance at all.

[jadedbirch]

I finally watched the 2023 French fanfic of my favorite book, i.e. The Three Musketeers: Milady, part deux of Martin Bourboulon's two-part adaptation of the Alexadre Dumas' novel. I talked about part 1 - The Three Musketeers: d'Artagnan - earlier, but I like to think of them of them together as one oeuvre, since they were shot as one film and then split into two cinematic releases.

Those of you who know me, understand by now that my movie reviews predominantly judge these movies not as standalone works of cinema but as adaptations. I don't ever ask for historical or canonical accuracy (which I have long ago accepted is much too much to ask for), but what I look for is that the plot and the characters serve the underlying spirit of the original Dumas novel. And perhaps this is why, more so than with other - admittedly much more terrible - adaptations, this one just makes me blind with rage. I don't know when filmmakers decided that how we like our morally gray characters is somehow justified, redeemed, and generally de-clawed. If what they were going with here was to make Milady de Winter, the murderous villainess of the novel, into some kind of a post-feminist hero, then they have failed miserably. (Lots of spoilers below the cut)

I don't usually feel the need to put SPOILER warnings on adaptations of the 3 Musketeers, but this ones veers so far off plot that I'm putting it here just in case.

Let's start by saying that it is certainly not Milady who is the main villain of these movies. It's not even Cardinal Richelieu, the man who seems to pull her strings. Rochefort, sadly, does not even appear in this adaptation, and honestly, I feel like docking a point just for that. Apparently M. Bourboulon decided that Dumas' masterpiece just wasn't interesting enough on its own, so he felt the need to "beef" it up, i.e. rewrite the narrative by taking out critical characters like Rochefort and Lord Winter and substituting them with new characters like Mathilde (Aramis' knocked-up sister), Benjamin (Athos' Protestant!!! brother) and maligning poor Gaston le duc d'Orleans by making him the main villain of the duology. Which is a damn shame, because these were all one-note characters foisted upon us at the expense of delightful assholes who made the original novel so fun to read.

And that goes for all the main characters here, including the titular Milady herself. Book!Musketeers are young, reckless assholes, who wench, fight, gamble and generally engage in very questionable behavior. You know, "boys will be boys" - and I do mean that with every possible connotation, i.e. they're horrible. By taking away their youth (excuse moi but Vincent Cassell, who plays Athos, is in his 60's LMAO), Bourboulon would have stripped their bad behavior of any of the benefit and charm of youth. So, I guess, Bourboulon decided to get rid of the bad behavior entirely, instead. Other than Porthos having an occasional bisexual threesome (bless), and Athos drinking while brooding, we don't really see any of the musketeers being the delightful assholes that I, for one, expect them to be. Strip away everything else, but do not ever take the assholery away from me! Here, they are old and they are boring, and honestly, it makes absolutely no historical or narrative sense that any of them are still in the service.

As for d'Artagnan, our hero, he is painted with such a chaste and faithful brush that I'm not actually sure - is this the same shithead who in the book fucks Milady's maid so that he can pretend to be Milady's boyfriend in the dark and sleep with her without her consent??? Hm... nope. This d'Artagnan is so faithful to his Constance, even though they barely touched hands, that he rebuffs Milady's (very assertive) attempts at (inexplicably) seducing him. Oh dear, oh dear, you might say. How is she supposed to spend the rest of the movie trying to get her revenge against him for raping her? Oh, that's right. She's not!

This Milady is no villainess but she's certainly no post-feminist heroine either. Her backstory is so cliche, it is for to weep, and I raged and ranted at great length about it here. She was forced to marry at 15! To some unnamed man who beat and raped her! And whom she killed - a totally justifiable homicide - before somehow falling in love and marrying Old Man Athos and bearing him a child (future Mordaunt? I see you, cutie!). But alas, Old Man Athos learned of her past crime - because she told him - and turned her over to the authorities, resulting in her being branded (natch) and then hanged (convenient how Athos doesn't actually get his own hands dirty). This Milady has literally Never Done A Thing Wrong. Since there's no Lord Winter, there's no poisoned husband. She never succeeds in killing Buckingham or having him killed. She never tries to even so much as look at d'Artagnan wrong, in fact, they keep saving each other's lives for Reasons of the Narrative, none of them particularly compelling. And finally, our poor Constance, I was really rooting for her to survive this AU, but alas. She ends up once again doomed by the narrative, but so stupidly, that I honestly don't know what to say. It made absolutely no sense for Queen Anne to hide her in England with the Duke of Buckingham since doing so would have implicated her in both treason and adultery. BUT WHAT IS LOGIC? Anyways, suffice to say, it's not Milady's fault that Constance ends up dead in d'Artagnan's arms by the end of the movie.

Don't get me wrong. This Milady is very hot (she is played by Eva Green, after all). But there's really nothing interesting or compelling about her as a character. She's a survivor, determined to survive. WHICH SHE DOES. Yay, it's a Milday-is-alive-at-the-end AU! And, honestly, good for her. By all means, girl, you kill that old man who betrayed you and handed you over to be hanged! He doesn't deserve you! And you abduct your own son and smuggle him out of France to teach that old man a lesson! But for the love of all that is holy, can you please, PLEASE raise him to be at least a tiny bit evil???? Please???

I am begging, can we just let villains be villains? Milady's original character was so much more fabulous not because some man beat and raped her but because of her ability to bend men to her will and whim throughout the novel. She outwits and outmaneuvers all of our "heroes," leaving a titillating trail of bodies and broken hearts in her wake, and it takes TEN MEN in the end to hunt her down and execute her. And listen, Athos spends the rest of his life trying to atone for it. THAT IS HER POWER. This Milady? Blah. And while we're here, this Athos? Double blah. I don't care, let her kill him. There's absolutely nothing interesting about this man. (And yes, I think hanging your wife for lying to you and then becoming a murderous alcoholic about it is very interesting, Athos. Very interesting, indeed.) I'd rather watch Vincent Cassell in Eastern Promises 20 more times - now THAT was a character worth his acting skill!

As for the movies themselves, it's sad to say that the only time both my wife and I felt ANY level of investment was close to the very end, when we were waiting to find out whether Constance was going to die. And most of that was due to the extremely convoluted narrative bending that defied logical sense and occasionally space and time. We did not give a shit about anything else, which does not, generally speaking, a great cinematic experience make. And where Part I at least gave us a few moments of levity and a great win for humanity in bisexual Porthos, Part II is merely dark, drab, and joyless.

Final grade for both parts: I give it a C- as a film and a D as an adaptation, in which the only thing that saves it from being an F is Eva Green's hotness.

[bluehome91]

Monica Belluci

Monica Anna Maria Bellucci was born on September 30, 1964 in the Italian village of Città di Castello, Umbria, the only child of Brunella Briganti and Pasquale Bellucci.

Monica grew up in a family of a farmer (father) and artist (mother). Her father likes to speak about his daughter and recollect in his mind her early years. He tells that Monica was so beautiful that the chef of the restaurant, where they had dinner, once refused to take money from them.

Teachers admired the young beauty and one of them had even drawn her portrait.

Monica started her career at the age of 13 as a model posing for the local photo enthusiast.

Later she moved to Milan fashion center where she signed a contract with Elite Model Management. Apart from Milan fashion she also posed for Dolce and Gabbana and French Elle.

Monica Bellucci is a secret dream for many men all over the world and of course, she had numerous love affairs. But the star was officially married just twice.

Her first husband was Claudio Carlos Basso. He was a fashion photographer and they got acquainted, when Claudio made photos of the godlike woman. They dated for a year and then got married on the 3rd January, 1990. Four months later they filed for divorce and finished that short unimportant marriage.

Monica Bellucci got married in 1999 for the second time. Her marriage with an actor Vincent Cassel served as a sample to many other celebrities for many years.

Vincent Cassel (3 November 1966) is a French actor. He became well known in France via his role as Vinz, a troubled French Jewish youth, in Matthieu Kassovitz’s 1995 film La Haine (Hate), which gave him two César Award nominations.

The couple got acquainted at a film set as French actor Vincent Cassel and Italian actress Monica Bellucci appeared in several films together. They wedded on the 3rd of August, 1999 and then gave a birth to two great talented daughters, Deva (born on the 12th of September, 2004) and Léonie, born on the (21st of May, 2010)

Vincent and Monica lived apart even when they were married. Monica tells, they tried to avoid marriage routine and that’s why lived in separate apartments. But it didn’t work and one of the most beautiful couples in the world got divorced in August, 2013.

Monica Bellucci was an extremely beautiful girl from the very childhood. If you think now, that the beauty of this elegant woman is a result of plastic surgery, you should just look at some of her childish photos. The star had full lips, big eyes and tender figure.

MONICA BELLUCCI MARITAL STATUS:

Divorced

MONICA BELLUCCI HUSBAND:

Claudio Carlos Basso (1990-1994)

MONICA BELLUCCI HUSBAND:

Vincent Cassel (1999-2013)

[tekkenjournalist]

Victor Chevalier, voiced by Vincent Cassel, was just caught sending DMs to young women containing pictures of his floor covered in silver fox grey pubic hair after he shaved it off of himself with the help of the Raven Unit.

Victor Chevalier is a character in the Tekken fighting game series who debuts in Tekken 8. He will also debut in Tekken X Hazbin Hotel.

[scotianostra]

Happy birthday to Scottish actress and model Freya Mavor.

Freya was born in Glasgow on August 13th 1993, but grew up in the Inverleith area of Edinburgh, her father is an award winning playwright and teaches at Napier University in the city , her great grandad was also a very successful writer, O H Mavor but used the pseudonym James Bridie. He also was instrumental in 1950 setting up a college of drama which has evolved into The Royal Conservatoire of Scotland. Freya says she got interested in acting after watching the Shining aged just ten! She spent time in France as a child and was educated there and at Mary Erskine's in Edinburgh

Her first acting experience was in school productions of Shakespeare plays. She made her professional debut in 2011, when she gained a lead role as Mini McGuinness in the fifth and sixth series of E4 Bafta-winning drama Skins. She gained this role after going through an open audition process, with more than 8,000 other teenagers auditioning for the show.

Since starting out Freya has gone on to a build a career between France and the UK. She has worked on features such as L'Empereur de Paris alongside Vincent Cassel, and indie films such as The Sense of an Ending by Ritesh Batra or La Dame dans L'auto by Joann Sfar. Her TV credits include The ABC Murders on the BBC and Il Etait Une Seconde Fois for Arte/Netflix, her time in France means she is bilingual, always handy for her acting roles over there. Freya was last seen in another Arte/Netflix show Twice Upon A Time, a sci fi/romance mini series filmed in Bordeaux, Paris, London and Iceland

Mavor has always expressed a love of the theatre and made her own stage debut in London for the play Good Canary, directed by John Malkovich, where she played a drug addict battling with mental illness.

Last year she starred in Balance, Not Symmetry about an American student who is living a privileged existence at Glasgow School of Art when her father unexpectedly dies. She has also completed a film called in 2019 called Gore but it is on hold due the controversy over one of the stars Kevin Spacey.

Last yaer Freya has returned in the second season of the British-American television drama series Industry shown on HBO in the United States and BBC 2 over here. She also starred in a joint BBC and Canal+ historical series Marie Antoinette, for which a second series has been commissioned.

Freya also starred in a stage play, The Other Boleyn alongside the excellent Alex Kingston

According to IMDb she has a series due to be released, Invitation to a Bonfire and in recent news she has been cast as the female lead role on HBO’s “Virtuoso,” a pilot set in 18th Century Vienna, it follows a class of young musical prodigies from all over Europe at the prestigious Academy of Musical Excellence. Mavor will play Marie, daughter of a prestigious Catholic family in Paris and the only girl chosen for the inaugural class of the prestigious academy.

[variousqueerthings]

WATCHING THE MESSENGER: THE STORY OF JOAN OF ARC (what a mouthful) FINAL THOUGHTS (sort of, I'm never done with Jeanne D'arc):

so the thing that's interesting about this one is that in writing her young and inexperienced which she was and also wrapped into this movie's depiction of womanhood and in the way it writes mental health is that she's got this sort of "idek what i'm doing or what the consequences are" vibe to her a lot of the time, especially after the first big battle and she sees all the corpses around her and has a meltdown followed by what seems to be dissociation for pretty much the whole rest of the film until her death

and the other thing is the things it chooses to play very straight and the things it does very differently -- so the killing of her sister in the beginning, which gives an early trauma to hearken back to and an added "impetus" for her to go to war, and which never happened vs the very specific sources it chose to deal with for her relationship to gender presentation (shocker i'm going into that), opting to nearly totally brush past it until the scene where she's "forced" to wear men's clothing again and gets burned for it -- which there is, to be clear, textual evidence that she wasn't given other clothes while incarcerated and did get judged for that, but also noticeably didn't include any of the other writing related to her visions telling her to wear men's clothing and this movie heavily mixing joan's visions with her as someone who's got a mental health issue of some kind, it's interesting that this snag of the clothing was mainly done away with, because it's a film that doesn't totally engage with her as someone with agency. she's mad, you see. that is the focal point. and what does "wearing men's clothings because the visions told me to" have to do with this madness? nothing, in fact it's kind of... not-very-mad-seeming

which is interesting as a counterpoint to a version i saw in the globe, which kind of went "an interpretation of joan as ye olde non-binary and also a lesbian" (this is flippantly written for brevity's sake, it was doing more than that, but that is the gist) which i did enjoy for the way it brought together a massive community of trans and nb theatre-goers within the globe and really felt like it was more for us than for joan, which i had struggles with because it went so far into the other direction of making everything a bit too modern for me. a bit too "joan's doing these choices with the idea that one day men's clothing will become allowed and joan has an internal sense of gender that coheres with modern sensibilities," and being a little timid around the religious and vision-y side of things

which is the crux of joan. you probably won't get a version that you're totally satisfied with, because joan As Figure encapsulates so many seeming paradoxes that we project ourselves onto. there's a distinct messiness to her that is very human in a way you don't always feel to quite this extent with mythos -- probably because of those court records and the subsequent early writings and the fact that she was nineteen years old when she was killed and it wasn't really that long ago comparatively

I think this movie struggled under the weight of that humanity, not for lack of trying to show it, but a. because of whatever personal bias besson went in with (which included basically stealing the project from kathryn bigelow and casting his then-wife mila jovovich, so youknow. there's some Vibes inherent in that already, and i do think bigelow could have done much more with both the feminism and the action, both of which were very uneven in this version imo) b. because of whatever other weird choices were made (i still think it was incredibly ugly-looking and many of the actors were flat -- not you, vincent cassel you were great) and c. because a movie possibly can't do it justice in the first place idk. we'll keep searching

obvs the passion of joan of arc is a masterclass. but it manages to get around a lot of these issues by essentially being all about the trial and a study of one of the most evocative faces ever put to silent film -- now that's giving "because the visions told me to"!

[tilbageidanmark]

Movies I watched this week (#178):

2 X Wojciech Jerzy Has + 2 X Bruno Schulz:

🍿 Bruno Schulz, "The Polish Kafka", is regarded as 'one of the finest Polish prose stylists of the 20th century'. Before being killed by the Gestapo in 1942, he published only 2 small works. Both were adapted to the cinema later on.

The Hourglass Sanatorium (1973) is a wild surrealist interpretation of Schulz's stories. An acclaimed masterpiece of Borgesian proportions, but where the magical realism is of the Eastern European type, played by poor Shtetl-Jews. A dark, decrepit nightmare, covered with spiderwebs, years before Terry Gilliam ploughed through the same insanities. Schrodinger time-shifts, mysterious doppelgängers, grotesque wax mannequins and lots of sensuality among the ruins. It's a heady, bizarro work of mythological unease. And the final dream scenes connect the story to the holocaust and the annihilation of this world, taking place in graveyards and on the shocking deportation lines. It's Heavy!

🍿 Accordion, Jerzy Has's first short, was how I discovered him. A wordless, bleak fable from 1947, about a son of a poor shoemaker who dreams about buying a used 'Harmonia'.

🍿 Street of Crocodiles on the other hand, the second Bruno Schulz adaptation, was a let down. Dark British stop-animation puppetry, wordless, confusing and in dirty back alleys. An experimental mood piece in a Jan Švankmajer style, but without the charm. M'eh. 1/10.

(Meanwhile I am listening to the music score for Kieślowski's Three Colors: Blue.)

🍿

Six by Sondheim, a 2013 documentary and my introduction to composer and lyricist Stephen Sondheim. Absolutely beautiful! (And I loved his Ethel Merman / Loretta Young anecdote...) 8/10.

I have to start searching for his full repertoire. (Or at least I should re-visit 'Marriage Story' one more time...)

🍿

2 by female directors:

🍿 On May 9, 1954, two days before the start of 'La Pointe Courte', her first feature film, Agnès Varda took a photograph of a naked man, a boy named Ulysse and a dead goat on the beach of Calais. (Photo Above). In 1983, she recreated that experience in the documentary Ulysse, an evocative reflection about the time machine of memory, history and art. It’s my 15th Varda film, and was as good as the best of them - 9/10. [*Female Director*].

🍿 Possibly in Michigan (1983) an avant-garde horror musical about cannibalism, a feminist revenge fantasy. Two women shopping for perfume at a department store, are being stalked by a masked serial killer. Artsy and disturbing. A complete review here. [*Female Director*].

🍿

The Browning Version, a British public school drama from 1951. Michael Redgrave gave a tremendous performance as a repressed and meek teacher, isolated and unloved. His contemptuous wife has an affair with a coworker, his nickname by his pupils is 'Himmler of the Fifth Ward', and on his last day of his last term, he's denied his pension. It's a story of failure and heartbreak.

🍿

Benoît Magimel X 3:

🍿 "...La Salope…… La Salope.... La Salooope..."

Magimel made his debut performance as a 12 year old delinquent in the quirky comedy Life Is a Long Quiet River, which tackled the question of Nature vs. Nurture in a wry and unexpected way. 2 babies get swapped at the hospital out of spite. One belongs to a rich family, the other to a poor one.

I never heard of it before, didn't know what to expect - and enjoyed it very much. 7/10.

🍿 The Bridesmaid, my 11th Amour Fou thriller by Claude Chabrol, made 6 years before his death. It started effortlessly and smooth, and was a delight to watch. But then Magimel meets and falls hopelessly in love with an enigmatic, 'unusual' woman, who's also a compulsive liar and a psychotic nutcase, and the rest just didn't work out. 3/10.

🍿 In Putain de Porte from 1994, 4 guys, including very young Vincent Cassel, Mathieu Kassovitz, and Magimel try to crash a party they were not invited to. M'eh.

🍿

3 by Dutch Bert Haanstra:

🍿 Glass, a short documentary from 1958, and the first Oscar win for The Netherlands. A highly-satisfying jazzy poem with terrific score, performed by The Pim Jacobs Quintet. My best film of the week - 10/10.

🍿 Zoo, made 3 years later, is similarly wonderful. Filmed with hidden camera, it draws parallels between the animals at the zoo and the many visitors who come to observe them, but really, behave in exactly the same ways. 9/10.

🍿 Fanfare was another successful comedy which he directed in 1958, and one which for decades, was “the most popular of all Dutch films”. It's a charming low-brow entertainment [what the Danes call 'Folkekomedie'] about a musical feud in a small touristy village. Its bucolic country all the way: Cows in the meadows, beer steins in the coffee hall, love in the haystacks, a trombone band, the whole nine yards. The only things missing were Gouda cheese wheels, wooden clogs and stork nests.

🍿

2 with Anne Miller:

🍿 I'm getting more and more enamored with old-fashioned musicals, especially from the technicolor era, and all the ones with Fred Astaire. He was such a happy dancer! Easter parade is a Pygmalion story with the usual power imbalance: He's 49, and Judy Garland is 26. But they were so wonderful! Ann Miller, (as was her custom I guess), played the the third wheel to their romance.

🍿 I think that Room Service was the only Marx Brothers comedy I haven't seen before. Their best comedies were masterpieces, but the weak ones were pitiful. The whole plot was about the three of them not able to pay their hotel bill, so basically it was "based on a true story". Ann Miller and young Lucille Ball served as background decorations. Jumpin' butterballs! 2/10.

🍿

My friend Simon is going through the classic works of Russian literature (Dostoevsky, Tolstoy, Etc.), and is currently heavy into Nikolai Gogol. So in sympathy I tried watching the 1926 silent Soviet version of The Overcoat. Unfortunately, I couldn't finish it.

🍿

2 juvenile comedies by Steve Pink:

🍿 "Excuse me, Miss, what color is Michael Jackson?"

In the opening scene of the gross-out guy comedy Hot Tub Time Machine, Craig Robinson pulls out a BMW key out of a dog's ass. Right off the bat, you know if this screwball time-machine story is for you. With ‘method actor’ Rob Corddry playing a raging asshole, (which he seems to be doing very well), and naked cameo of Megan Calvet-Draper. Raunchy but funny in parts. 7/10.

🍿 I shouldn't have tried to follow it up with his trashy teenage comedy Accepted. Jonah Hill, a year before 'Superbad', with about 100 lb. more, young Blake Lively, angry Lewis Blake and Dr. Frederick Chilton get together 1/2 a star (out of 10). For the rest, I could barely stay for half an hour, before having to turn it off. it was "Super Bad"!...

🍿

New discovery - The brilliant shorts of Arthur Lipsett!

🍿 Arthur Lipsett was a visionary Canadian avant-garde artist, who suffered from schizophrenia, and who eventually killed himself. His 1963 montage film 21-87 was a tremendous collage of discarded snippets found on the editing floor of the National Board Of Canada where he worked as an editor. 10/10.

🍿 Very nice, very nice, his very first film from 1961, was just as unique. It was nominated for an Oscar, and was adored by Stanley Kubrick, who subsequently offered Lipsett a job as the editor of the trailer for 'Dr. Strangelove'. Another 10/10.

🍿 Free Fall (1964) was even darker and more chaotic, with definite hints of psychosis. He had a brilliant sense of juxtaposition and collage, both sights and sounds.

🍿

"You made me the happiest juvenile delinquent in Baltimore!..."

First watch: John Waters’ most mainstream attempt Cry-Baby, a 1950's 'Squares vs. Hill-billies' teen rebel musical. Elvis + Grease + Rebel without a cause with Tracy Lords and Willem Dafoe and Iggy Pop and Joe Dallesandro. 3/10.

🍿

“Back to the salt mines…”

James Bond No. 2, From Russia with love, before the series got its footing. With blond villain Robert Shaw, and primitive levels of intrigues and suspense. Best producer fruit-name still goes to Albert R. Broccoli. 3/10.

🍿

More random bunch of acclaimed 10-minute shorts:

🍿 In the Darkness of Time, J-L Godard's 2002 collage of poetic images, juxtaposed into a mosaic of concepts: love, art, memory, death, humanity, destruction and cinema. He really was 'un poète' first and foremost.

🍿 René Laloux 1964 visual essay, Dead Times. A sardonic, surrealistic poem about Man's inherit need to kill everything around him. Like 'La Planète sauvage', the drawings are by Roland Topol, and the music is similar.

🍿 When the Day Breaks, another National Board of Canada Oscar nominated short, from 1999, about a humanoid pig who witnesses the accidental death of a humanoid rooster. 8/10. [*Female Director*].

🍿 Inspiration (1949), my second film by Czechoslovakian Karel Zeman (after ‘Invention for destruction’). A stop motion tale of a glass ballerina and a glass clown, the type of little figurines that used to be so popular then.

🍿 I think this is the closest to how the footage looked (2012) is an artsy but touchy Israeli short. A young man remembers the actual last day in the life of his mother, and how his father by mistake erased the video he had taken of her that last day.

🍿 Bluebeard, a fantastic 1901 film by Georges Méliès, about the serial killer and his eighth wife.

🍿Litany of Happy People (1971), my first by Slovenian Karpo Godina, of the Yugoslav 'Black Wave' cinematic movement. Experimental hippy documentary about the various minority ethnicities in some village.

🍿 Cathedral (1971), one of the earliest gay films that came after Stonewall. A poetic love session between three beautiful guys in a shrine of sheets, which eventually turns into a cathedral. Not for me, but okay…

🍿 Once Upon a Time there Lived a Dog, a 1982 Soviet folk tale about a dog and a wolf.

🍿

James Payne, curator of the channel 'Great Art Explained' gave a 51 min. exploration of Hieronymus Bosch's The Garden of Earthly Delights. A fascinating run-down, worth watching together with the detailed 'De tuin der lusten' project and Wikipedia. 8/10.

🍿

(My complete movie list is here).

[aragarna]

Please rant about the new musketeer movie, I need to know how bad it is on a scale from Michael York to Mathew McFaydden, so I know if it's worth trying to hunt down a cinema or wait till it's out on dvd

Well.... The good news is, there's no flying ship in that one. Not sure where to put it though. It's not atrocious, but it's lacking something. I'm always happy to see my boys, and the cast is good. It is rather entertaining at times, and I'm sure people not as attached to the characters as I am might not be as harsh as me but... I guess I was hoping for more? For better? Why is it that there can't be a single decent modern adaptation?!

The rest under the cut because spoilers for The Three Musketeers: d'Artagnan

First, it's visually ugly. It's all in brown and dark tones. Apparently the weather in France is always bad, ranging from pouring rain to clouds and fog. Even the red robe of the cardinal doesn't pop up! And don't get me started on the musketeer's uniforms. Why is it that every single recent movie wants to make them something that they're not. We *know* what they looked like. Blue casaques with a big white cross. Would it look out of fashion today? Of course! Even slightly ridiculous? Maybe. But Mordious, that's a 17th century uniform! Just play along! So, in this one, it becomes a very dark navy blue long coat with a black cross on the arm. It's actually so indisguishable that you can never tell when they're wearing it or not.

But okay, fine, if it was the only issue, I would have waved it off. The rest of the costumes, though probably not historically accurate, look pretty cool over all. If only they had more colors. Can you believe that there's a costumed ball, with one character wearing an arlequin costume and ... it doesn't even look like rainbow-y!

(can you tell I'm slightly mad at the movie's terrible coloring?)

And overall, I felt it wasn't very well filmed. Like, this isn't just a swashbluckler, it's The Swashbuckler story, so gotta work on those sword fights! Give me some fancy fighting! Work a real choregraphy! I understand that this is not the Errol Flynn era anymore but come on. So their idea to make it more "modern" was to use sequence-shots for the fight scenes. That is not a bad idea, but when there's no real choregraphy to follow, that just makes everything messy and pointless. So yeah, disappointed with the action scenes.

My other major source of annoyment was the lack of character development, or just character moments. D'Artagnan flirting with Constance was fine, but it's *not* the main story. It should have been the friendship between our four heroes. Instead of adding a whole new plot, I wish they'd taken the time with the canon scenes. Show me more why they went from being this close to kill each other, to instant friends ready to die for each other. Making Porthos bisexual is fine. I don't mind modernization of characters, but did you have to tell and show me this very clearly 3 times, but then give him virtually no other line of dialogue the rest of the movie? Romain Duris as Aramis is particularly awesome, but the poor guy is just as useless. The film is such a waste of a good casting. D'Artagnan, the main character, barely gets more time. Where is my ever-resourceful, cunning, smart and quick thinking hero? Young and idealistic but also natural leader d'Artagnan? His scenes with Constance are cute enough (and I don't mind that they got rid of Mr. Bonacieux) but I wanted more bonding with the boys! It's called The Three Musketeers, not My Cute Landlady. François Civil does a decent job but he isn't given the most subtle text...

Athos is the only one that is allowed a bit more development, but he's reduced to be a sappy old man. AAARGH ATHOS IS NOT AN OLD MAN. I do like Vincent Cassel, but the movie comes out 20 years too late for him to be a musketeer. Athos is not old, he is just the only vaguely grown-up one of the group. And come on "I don't have enough will to live to lie." ?! What the Hell?

All the characters feel reduced to a single dimension.

And yes, I do realize that you can't fit hundreds of pages in two 2-hour movies, but still, I feel like there were ways to make the movie better if it had been more character-oriented. The only real good character is the King. He has all the best lines and Louis Garrell is perfect.

Finally, while I don't mind when they take liberties from the original story, I'm not sure that the whole side plot actually adds anything. If you're worried about lack of plots, just develop the exisiting ones instead of rushing them in and out of England, maybe? It's Alexandre Dumas you're adapting, don't tell me there aren't enough twists in that plot!

And what annoys me about that side plot is that it starts with Athos being arrested. Which means that, from the start, they're never all four of them together. Which also means that that one supposedly emotional letter from Athos sounds a bit phony. Why would he care for that young idiot that he met only once?

Let my musketeers be all together, Morbleu!

Anyway, to try and end on a more positive note: it does remain entertaining enough that you're not bored. They filmed in real places - Le Louvre looks actually like Le Louvre - which is always a bonus. Louis XIII is awesome, and all the court intrigues are probably the best parts. And they do have a second movie coming out this December to try and make up for that one. We can expect War! Love! Tragedy! Vengeance! (and hopefully more character development?)

Sorry, that was long. All this to say: meh.

[captain-athos]

I think the reason I'm gnawing so hard on vincent cassel athos atm is because athos is usually meant to be like. slightly older than the others but relatively speaking still pretty young. Like in the book they make a lot of the contrast between his age and the way that he carries himself w all the cynicism and disillusionment of an old man. And like for him that swings between him being unusually wise and patient for someone his age AND also comparisons we get to bitter old age when he gets into one of his depressions. Either way, the contrast between his age and his personality is a big part of his characterisation

But then you get Vincent Cassel as athos, and I was watching some interviews with him where he talks about athos as someone who is fairly naive when it comes to love because he's not really had all that much experience and that puts him at milady's mercy. and I think it's interesting that for him as athos the contrast now comes from a much older man who has all of the experience in battle and is still a wise and noble leader of his fellow musketeers, but who is inexperienced and quite naive when it comes to matters of the heart.

[ghostflowerdreams]

It’s October! The month in which I watch even more horror movies than usual. Each year I tend to have a theme to help narrow down what to watch. So far I’ve done Zombie Films, Werewolf Films, Vampire Films, Slasher Films and Ghost Films. This year's theme is Cosmic/Eldritch Horror, often referred to as Lovecraftian Horror.

This list won’t cover every film inspired by H.P. Lovecraft’s works or those featuring similar elements, but I’ve watched plenty and decided to highlight the ones I personally enjoyed. If you're interested in exploring this subgenre, here are my top recommendations, in no particular order…

In the Mouth of Madness (1994) -- is an American supernatural horror film directed and scored by John Carpenter and written by Michael De Luca. It stars Sam Neill, Julie Carmen, Jürgen Prochnow, David Warner and Charlton Heston.

When horror novelist Sutter Cane goes missing, freelance insurance investigator John Trent scrutinizes the claim made by his publisher, Jackson Harglow. He's to retrieve a yet-to-be-released manuscript and ascertain the writer's whereabouts. Accompanied by the novelist's editor, Linda Styles, and disturbed by nightmares from reading Cane's other novels, Trent makes an eerie nighttime trek to a supernatural town in New Hampshire.

In the Mouth of Madness pays tribute to the works of author H. P. Lovecraft in its exploration of insanity, and its title is derived from the Lovecraft novella At the Mountains of Madness.

Color Out of Space (2019) -- is an American science fiction Lovecraftian horror film directed and co-written by Richard Stanley, based on the short story "The Colour Out of Space" by H. P. Lovecraft. It stars Nicolas Cage, Joely Richardson, Elliot Knight, Madeleine Arthur, Brendan Meyer, Q'orianka Kilcher and Tommy Chong. 

The Gardner family moves to a remote farmstead in rural New England to escape the hustle of the 21st century. They are busy adapting to their new life when a meteorite crashes into their front yard, melts into the earth, and infects both the land and the properties of space-time with a strange, otherworldly colour.

The Void (2016) -- is an Canadian Lovecraftian horror film written and directed by Steven Kostanski and Jeremy Gillespie, and produced by Jonathan Bronfman and Casey Walker. It stars Aaron Poole, Kenneth Welsh, Daniel Fathers, Kathleen Munroe, and Ellen Wong.

In the middle of a routine patrol, officer Daniel Carter happens upon a blood-soaked figure limping down a deserted stretch of road. He rushes the young man to a nearby rural hospital staffed by a skeleton crew, only to become trapped by a gathering of hooded cultists, and grotesque creatures.

The Lighthouse (2019) -- is an American film directed and produced by Robert Eggers, from a screenplay he wrote with his brother Max Eggers. It stars Willem Dafoe and Robert Pattinson as nineteenth-century lighthouse keepers in turmoil after being marooned at a remote New England outpost by a wild storm.

Cold Skin (2017) -- is a French-Spanish science fiction-horror film directed by Xavier Gens and based on the 2002 novel of the same name by Albert Sánchez Piñol.

On the edge of the Antarctic Circle, a ship approaches a desolate island, far from all shipping lanes. On board is a young man who is on his way to assume the post of weather observer and live in solitude at the end of the earth. He finds no trace of the man he has been sent to replace, just a deranged castaway who has witnessed a horror he refuses to name. For the next twelve months, his entire world will consist of a deserted cabin, trees, rocks, silence and the surrounding sea.

Note: I wasn’t planning on including this, but after watching The Lighthouse, I figured—why not? It definitely fits the theme.

Underwater (2020) -- is an American science fiction action horror film directed by William Eubank. The film stars Kristen Stewart, Vincent Cassel, Jessica Henwick, John Gallagher Jr., Mamoudou Athie, and T.J. Miller.

After an earthquake destroys their underwater station, six researchers must navigate two miles along the dangerous, unknown depths of the ocean floor to make it to safety in a race against time.

Offseason (2021) - is an American supernatural horror film written and directed by Mickey Keating. It stars Jocelin Donahue, Joe Swanberg, Richard Brake, and Melora Walters.

Upon receiving a mysterious letter that her mother's grave has been vandalized, Marie quickly returns to the isolated offshore island where she's buried. Just as she arrives, the island closes for the season as the bridges get raised until springtime. Left stranded, Marie soon realizes that something is not quite right as she has one strange interaction after another. She must now unveil the mystery behind her mother's troubled past to make it out alive.

Annihilation (2018) -- is a science fiction psychological horror film written and directed by Alex Garland, based on the 2014 novel of the same name by Jeff VanderMeer. It stars Natalie Portman, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Gina Rodriguez, Tessa Thompson, Tuva Novotny, and Oscar Isaac.

The story follows a group of explorers who enter "The Shimmer", a mysterious quarantined zone of mutating plants and animals caused by an alien presence.

Lena, a biologist and former soldier, joins a mission to uncover what happened to her husband inside Area X -- a mysterious quarantined zone that is expanding across the American coastline. Once inside, the expedition discovers a world of mutated landscapes and creatures, as dangerous as it is beautiful, that threatens both their lives and their sanity.

Event Horizon (1997) -- is a science fiction horror film directed by Paul W. S. Anderson and written by Philip Eisner. It stars Laurence Fishburne, Sam Neill, Kathleen Quinlan and Joely Richardson.

Set in 2047, it follows a crew of astronauts sent on a rescue mission after a missing spaceship, the Event Horizon, spontaneously appears in orbit around Neptune, only to discover that a sinister force has come back with it.

The Mist (2007) -- (also known as Stephen King's The Mist) is an American science-fiction horror film based on the 1980 novella The Mist by Stephen King. The film was written and directed by Frank Darabont. The film features an ensemble cast, including Thomas Jane, Marcia Gay Harden, Nathan Gamble, Andre Braugher, Sam Witwer, Toby Jones, Frances Sternhagen, Buck Taylor, Robert Treveiler, William Sadler, Alexa Davalos, David Jensen, Chris Owen, Andy Stahl, and future The Walking Dead stars Jeffrey DeMunn, Laurie Holden, Melissa McBride, and Juan Gabriel Pareja.

After a violent storm, a dense cloud of mist envelops a small Maine town, trapping artist David Drayton and his five-year-old son in a local grocery store with other people. They soon discover that the mist conceals deadly horrors that threaten their lives, and worse, their sanity.

The Cellar (2022) -- is an supernatural horror film written and directed by Brendan Muldowney. It's an international co-production between Ireland and Belgium. It also starsElisha Cuthbert and Eoin Macken.

It follows a family whose daughter mysteriously vanishes in the cellar of the large estate they have just moved into.

Glorious (2022) -- is an American comedy horror film directed by Rebekah McKendry, and starring Ryan Kwanten and J. K. Simmons.

The film involves a heartbroken man who encounters a strange, all-knowing entity in a rest stop bathroom stall.

Bonus:

Non-film media that's either based on Lovecraft’s works, heavily influenced by his style, or unintentionally evoke a strong Lovecraftian vibe.

Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities (2022): The anthology series explores various horror themes, but several episodes have strong Lovecraftian elements, particularly those dealing with cosmic horror, forbidden knowledge, and ancient, unknowable forces. Del Toro is known for his deep appreciation of H.P. Lovecraft's works, and this influence is evident in the show.

The Rig (2023): Set on a remote oil rig in the North Sea, the show taps into themes of isolation, ancient unknowable forces, and the eerie environment of the deep ocean. As mysterious events unfold, the characters face something beyond their comprehension, which parallels many of Lovecraft's ideas about humans being insignificant in the face of larger cosmic forces.

Stranger Things (Season 2): While influenced by 80s pop culture and science fiction, Season 2 leans more heavily into Lovecraftian elements.

The Terror (Season 1): A historical horror series based on the real-life Franklin expedition, captures the sense of dread, isolation, madness, and humanity’s powerlessness against forces beyond their understanding—core elements of Lovecraftian horror.

True Detective (Season 1): Though not based on Lovecraft, the philosophical themes, atmosphere, and references to the "Yellow King" evoke Lovecraftian dread and nihilism.

Outer Range (2022–): This series blends Western themes with supernatural mystery and cosmic horror. The show builds a sense of tension and unease, tapping into themes of the unknown without giving too much away. It’s perfect for those who like stories with mysterious, otherworldly elements that slowly unfold, keeping you on edge.

[indiejones]

THE 100 GREATEST SCREEN-PAIRS IN HISTORY OF WORLD CINEMA (@INDIES)!

.RAJESH KHANNA - MUMTAZ

.WALTER PIDGEON – GREER GARSON

.HUMPHREY BOGART – INGRID BERGMAN

.RICHARD BURTON – ELIZABETH TAYLOR

.ETHAN HAWKE – JULIE DELPY

.CHARLES CHAPLIN – EDNA PURVIANCE

.HUGH GRANT – JULIA ROBERTS

.KEANU REEVES – CARRIE-ANN MOSS

.RICHARD GERE - JULIA ROBERTS

.REX HARRISON – AUDREY HEPBURN

.CHARLES FARRELL – JANET GAYNOR

.CLARK GABLE – VIVIEN LEIGH

.UTTAM KUMAR – SUCHITRA SEN

.ROBERT REDFORD – BARBRA STREISAND

.DEV ANAND – WAHEEDA REHMAN

.CARY GRANT – INGRID BERGMAN

.KEANU REEVES – SANDRA BULLOCK

.GARY COOPER – INGRID BERGMAN

.JOSEPH FIENNES – GWYNETH PALTROW

.CHARLES BOYER – INGRID BERGMAN

.CARY GRANT – KATHERINE HEPBURN

.GURU DUTT – WAHEEDA REHMAN

.RAJESH KHANNA - TANUJA

.DILIP KUMAR - MADHUBALA

.TOM HANKS – MEG RYAN

.RAJESH KHANNA – SHARMILA TAGORE

.HUGH GRANT – RENEE ZELLWEGER

.SPENCOR TRACY – KATHERINE HEPBURN

.AMITABH BACHCHAN – PARVEEN BABI

.MICHEL PICCOLI – ROMY SCHNEIDER

.WOODY ALLEN – DIANE KEATON

.RAJESH KHANNA – REKHA

.MICHAEL DOUGLAS – GLENN CLOSE

.ALAIN DELON – ROMY SCHNEIDER

.ROD STEIGER – ROMY SCHNEIDER

.SHAMMI KAPOOR – ASHA PAREKH

.MARCELO MASTROIANNI – ROMY SCHNEIDER

.YVES MONTAND – SIMONE SIGNORET

.ALAIN DELON – ANNIE GIRARDOT

.JOHNNY DEPP – JULIETTE BINOCHE

.LAURENCE OLIVIER – VIVIEN LEIGH

.CLARK GABLE – JOAN CRAWFORD

.TREVOR HOWARD – CELIA JOHNSON

.PATRICK SWAYZE – JENNIFER GREY

.PREM NAZIR - SHEELA

.VINCENT CASSEL – MONICA BELLUCCI

.CLARK GABLE – AVA GARDNER

.JEAN-LOUIS TRINTIGNANT – ROMY SCHNEIDER

.JACK LEMMON – SHIRLEY MACLAINE

.HEATH LEDGER - JULIA STILES

.ANTHONY PERKINS – INGRID BERGMAN

.TOBEY MAGUIRE – KIRSTEN DUNST

.GREGORY PECK – AUDREY HEPBURN

.TOM CRUISE – RENEE ZELLWEGER

.AMITABH BACHCHAN - REKHA

.JAMES STEWART – MARGARET SULLAVAN

.RYAN GOSLING – RACHEL MCADAMS

.PRADEEP KUMAR – MEENA KUMARI

.ROBERT MONTGOMERY – ROSALIND RUSSELL

.JOHNNY DEPP – HELENA BONHAM CARTER

.BOBBY VERNON – GLORIA SWANSON

.DOUGLAS FAIRBANKS JR. – LORETTA YOUNG

.CLARK GABLE – CLAUDETTE COLBERT

.RAJESH KHANNA – ZEENAT AMAN

.GLENN FORD – GERALDINE PAGE

.LEONARDO DI CAPRIO – KATE WINSLET

.RAJESH KHANNA – ASHA PAREKH

.MEL GIBSON – CATHERINE MCCORMACK

.RAJ KAPOOR - NARGIS

.BRAD PITT – ANGELINA JOLIE

.CHRISTOPHER REEVE – MARGOT KIDDER

.CARY GRANT – SOPHIA LOREN

.SOUMITRA CHATTERJEE – MADHABI MUKHERJEE

.HUMPHREY BOGART – AUDREY HEPBURN

.SALMAN KHAN – AISHWARYA RAI

.ANTONIA BANDERAS – CATHERINE ZETA JONES

.RYAN O’ NEAL – BARBRA STREISAND

.JOHNNY DEPP – GWYNETH PALTROW

.MICHAEL DOUGLAS – KATHLEEN TURNER

.JAMES STEWART – CLAUDETTE COLBERT

.LAURENT MALET – ANNIE GIRARDOT

.DICK POWELL – OLIVIA DE HAVILLAND

.TOMMY STEELE – GERALDINE PAGE

.GEORGE BRENT – OLIVIA DE HAVILLAND

.MAURICE RONET – BRIGITTE BARDOT

.RAJESH KHANNA - SRIDEVI

.WILLIAM POWELL – MYRNA LOY

.ANTHONY PERKINS – ROMY SCHNEIDER

.MICKEY ROONEY – JUDY GARLAND

.RAJESH KHANNA - RAAKHEE

.SHAH RUKH KHAN - KAJOL

.RAAJ KUMAR – MEENA KUMARI

.MAHIPAL – ANITA GUHA

.RALPH FIENNES – JULIETTE BINOCHE

.ERROL FLYNN – OLIVIA DE HAVILLAND

.JOHN BOLES – BARBARA STANWYCK

.DHARMENDRA – MEENA KUMARI

.PETER FINCH – AUDREY HEPBURN

.MARLON BRANDO – KIM HUNTER

.MAURICE RONET – ROMY SCHNEIDER .

(P.S. - THE 2 PEOPLE WITH MOST ENTRIES IN THIS LIST, ARE-

RAJESH KHANNA OF INDIA WITH 8 ENTRIES, FOLLOWED BY ROMY SCHNEIDER OF AUSTRIA/FRANCE WITH 7 ENTRIES!)

[hellostarrynightblr]

highlights of June-December

Favourite movies: The Farmer's Daughter (1947), Oppenheimer (2023), The Bourne trilogy (2002-2007), Gojira -1.0 (2023).

Decent movies I liked / appreciated but not loved: Highlander (1986), From the Terrace (1960), Mary Poppins (1964), Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One (2023), If I Were King (1938), The Equalizer 3 (2023), No Way Out (1950), Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993).

wtf movie/ending: Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023) just because they ended it like an episode of a TV show rather than a part one of a movie. I knew it was part one and even I was sitting at the cinema confused once the credits rolled. Also, in the best way, They Won't Believe Me (1947). I was not expecting the film to end like that at all. AT ALL. Also, Caught (1949) has the most unsatisfying tonal shift in the end I probably have ever see. Up until that last few minutes, it was solid, dark, edgy even. Just the way I like my noirs to be. And then the resolution and it is just…. huh?

Best scenes: the Spider Men chase scene in Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023); Alfred leaving Mary for good in From the Terrace (1960); the finale in They Won't Believe Me (1947); father's final walk to work in Mary Poppins (1964); the bomb / 'You will remember this day' in Oppenheimer (2023); saying goodbye to the 'daughter' in Gojira -1.0 (2023); the garage confrontation in Caught (1949).

Favourite genres: action, adventure, drama.

Favourite directors: Christopher Nolan (Oppenheimer, 2023); Joaquim Dos Santos, Kemp Powers, Justin K. Thompson (Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse, 2023); Robert Stevenson (Mary Poppins, 1964); Paul Greengrass (The Bourne trilogy, 2002-2007); Joseph L. Mankiewicz (No Way Out, 1950); Takashi Yamazaki (Gojira -1.0, 2023); Mel Brooks (Robin Hood: Men in Tights, 1993); Sidney Lanfield (The Hound of the Baskervilles, 1939).

Favourite actors: Robert Cummings (The Lost Moment, 1947), Susan Hayward (The Lost Moment, 1947 and They Won't Believe Me, 1947); Paul Newman, Joanne Woodward (From the Terrace, 1960); Ethel Barrymore, Loretta Young, Joseph Cotten (The Farmer's Daughter, 1947); Robert Young (They Won't Believe Me, 1947); Tom Cruise, Hayley Atwell (Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One, 2023); Matt Damon (The Bourne trilogy, 2002-2007); Ronald Colman (If I Were King, 1938); Denzel Washington (The Equalizer 3, 2023); Sidney Poitier, Linda Darnell, Richard Widmark (No Way Out, 1950); Cary Elwes (Robin Hood: Men in Tights, 1993); Bob Hope (The Ghost Breakers, 1940); James Mason, Barbara Bel Geddes, Robert Ryan (Caught, 1949); Ryunosuke Kamiki, Minami Hamabe (Gojira -1.0, 2023); Cillian Murphy, Emily Blunt, Robert Downey Jr. (Oppenheimer, 2023); Julie Andrews, Dick Van Dyke, David Tomlinson, Glynis Johns (Mary Poppins, 1964). (Dick Van Dyke is an international treasure, I absolutely love this sweet, sweet man!)

Least favourite performances: anyone in Angels Over Broadway (1940) is pretty forgettable, Douglas Fairbanks Jr. in particular. I did not like Nine 1/2 Weeks (1986), so it might be affecting my perception of Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger's performances as I know both of them are more than capable performers. George Sanders is pretty bland in The Strange Affair of Uncle Harry (1945). Vincent Cassel is bizzare in La belle et la bête (2014).

The most wasted cast: I don't think there is any particular cast that was wasted this time around. I didn't enjoy Angels Over Broadway (1940), so might be this one.

The best wasted premise: The Lost Moment (1947). It's not a bad film, but way too rushed. Had they taken more time, I think the film would have been much, much better.

Best premise: Highlander (1986); No Way Out (1950); Gojira -1.0 (2023).

Favourite cast: Oppenheimer (2023), hands down. Cillian Murphy, Emily Blunt, Robert Downey Jr., Alden Ehrenreich, Scott Grimes, Jason Clarke, James D'Arcy, Kenneth Branagh, Tim DeKay, David Krumholtz, Florence Pugh, Matt Damon, Dane DeHaan, Josh Peck, Rami Malek, Casey Affleck, Gary Oldman. At one point I just started listing every actor I know who's popped up in this, it got crazy.

Favourite on-screen duos: Robert Cummings + Susan Hayward (The Lost Moment, 1947); Paul Newman + Joanne Woodward, Paul Newman + Ina Balin (From the Terrace, 1960); Loretta Young,+ Joseph Cotten, Ethel Barrymore with literally anyone (The Farmer's Daughter, 1947); Julie Andrews + Dick Van Dyke (Mary Poppins, 1964); Tom Cruise, Hayley Atwell (Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One, 2023); anyone in Oppenheimer (2023); James Mason, Barbara Bel Geddes (Caught, 1949); Bob Hope + Paulette Goddard (The Ghost Breakers, 1940).

Favourite on-screen relationships: my favourite is easily Larry Quinada and Leonora Eames from Caught (1949), but I have a few others. Alfred Eaton + Mary St. John (in a very toxic, unhealthy way) and Alfred Eaton + Natalie Benzinger (From the Terrace, 1960); Katrin Holstrom + Glenn Morley (The Farmer's Daughter, 1947); Bourne + Marie (The Bourne Identity, 2002 + The Bourne Ultimatum, 2004); Koichi Shikishima + Noriko Oishi (Gojira -1.0, 2023).

Favourite characters: Alfred Eaton, Mary St. John (From the Terrace, 1960); Mrs. Morley, Katrin Holstrom, Glenn Morley (The Farmer's Daughter, 1947); Jason Bourne (The Bourne trilogy, 2002-2007); Larry Ballentine (They Won't Believe Me, 1947); Mary Poppins, Bert (Mary Poppins, 1964); Ethan Hunt, Grace (Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One, 2023); J. Robert Oppenheimer, Lewis Strauss (Oppenheimer, 2023); Jason Bourne (The Bourne trilogy, 2002-2007); François Villon (If I Were King, 1938); Robert McCall (The Equalizer 3, 2023); Edie Johnson, Dr. Dan Wharton, Dr. Luther Brooks (No Way Out, 1950); Koichi Shikishima, Noriko Oishi (Gojira -1.0, 2023), Robin Hood (Robin Hood: Men in Tights, 1993); Larry Quinada, Leonora Eames, Smith Ohlrig (Caught, 1949).

Favourite quote: Let no one laugh at our absurd design, but pray to God that he forgives us all. (If I Were King, 1938). I also love this exchange in From the Terrace: Mary St. John: You've touched me deeply. Alfred Eaton: But not in the right places.

Favourite fact discovered in 2023: James Mason asked to play the good guy in Caught (1949) because he wanted a break from playing bad buys in British films. Gojira -1.0 (2023) was made on a 15-million-dollar budget. Effective filmmaking if I ever saw one. Oppenheimer (2023), a 3-hour biopic, made around a billion dollars at the box office.

The most overrated film: Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023). It was fine, the animation is great, but there are a few too many stupid and slow moments. Nine 1/2 Weeks (1986) is terrible. No Way Out (1987) is okay, but I prefer the original anyway. Almost everything Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One (2023) is good except for the actual plot.

The most disappointing film: I didn't hold out much hope for any of these, so I wasn't disappointed.

The biggest surprise: Gojira -1.0 (2023).

Best cinematography: Hoyte Van Hoytema (Oppenheimer, 2023). Also, J. Peverell Marley (The Hound if the Baskervilles, 1939).

Best set design: Oppenheimer (2023). Also. I loved La belle et la bête (2014).

Best costume design: Pierre-Yves Gayraud La belle et la bête (2014).

Best music: I don't remember any. My guess is Oppenheimer (2023), but I can't remember any music from it either.

Best production choice: casting Julie Andrews as Mary Poppins (Mary Poppins, 1964); black-and-white sections (Oppenheimer, 2023), focusing on the human drama and survivor's guilt (Gojira -1.0, 2023)

Worst production choice: (randomly) killing Ilsa (Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One, 2023).

Film of the month(s): Oppenheimer (2023), Gojira -1.0 (2023).

[jadedbirch]

The Three Musketeers (2023) - Part 1: d'Artagnan

Directed: Martin Bourboulon

Starring: Vincent Cassel, Eva Green, François Civil 

First of all, you do not know the struggle we had to go through to even get our eyeballs on this movie! Only die hard Dumas idiots like me would have even bothered 🤦🏻‍♀️. Finally, we had to buy it from AppleTV. Anywho, below is my live blog of the latest French nonsense! I make a point of tutoring myself watching as many 3 Musketeers adaptations as possible, regardless of the psychological damage, and I kind of have high hopes for this one despite the fact that I can already tell they cast more for 20 Years After than for The 3 Musketeers. But I'm willing to pretend there are no good, young actors in France (because there's no other way to explain these casting choices) for the sake of my own sanity. The rest of my babbling and movie spoilers will be below the cut!

I see we start the movie in 1627, which already makes me laugh 🤣. The book famously starts in 1625 and then they time skip a year and a half into the future because I guess Dumas remembered that the war starts in 1627. Alex was the king of inexplicable time skips and I see the movie has chosen to stick to history rather than literary canon 👌🏻.

Everything is cold, dark, and wet. I have no idea what's going on, or who this blond woman is, or why d'Artagnan is coming back from the dead. But I'm always in favor of immortal abominations 😈.

It does entertain me that Eric Ruf, who played Aramis in an earlier French adaptation, plays Richelieu in this one. Nice touch.

LOL d'Artagnan gate crashing the musketeer headquarters all "I'm not Soviet, the French do not stand in line!" Anyways, he's authentically obnoxious, which I like, although clearly also 20 years too old.

I feel like this is an AU that takes place before they invented soap and also dyes, which is hilarious because if they're going for historical accuracy, this is just what the plebs think looks "authentic". Why are these men all so dirty and old? At least they make fun of Athos being a thousand years old in the movie, but why is Jussac also so ancient? And still serving in the guards? Life expectancy back then was like 25, but surely no one would be serving in the army past the age of 50, which was like Ancient for the 1600s, even among nobility.

I must laugh at the fact that Athos straight up introduces himself to d'Artagnan as Athos de Sillegue, le comte de La Fère. So, I see we are just going to go there 🤭🤭🤭. This changes his story arc completely though, stay tuned for my whinging. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Absolutely incredible, legendary , A++, 11000/10: bisexual Porthos waking up in bed with a lady and a dude after a night of debauchery! Chef's fucking kiss! I forgive the fact that there are no young people in France.

Aramis, so far is very Murder Kitten. I do wish he'd wash his face more and do something about his guyliner (I feel like he should have just committed to MORE MAKEUP frankly because the guyliner alone is odd), but c'est la vie, I guess.

Plus one point for Athos getting wrongly arrested, minus twenty points for making Athos a Protestant WTF? And in what world would a nobleman of Athos' lineage get sentenced to death for stabbing an unknown woman? This is all so silly! (I do have to give Milady points for just like fucking with him so fantastically. Plus one revenge point to Milady.)

Aramis torturing a guy to save Athos is honestly 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻 11/10 Murder Kitten, automatic plus one point.

This is all incredibly Dramatique, as much as it strains credulity. I love it when modern directors decide that they can write better "action" than Dumas himself. I'm just sitting here screaming "Why would you have that conversation where anyone can hear you!" Minus one point.

I must say Constance and d'Artagnan have a much more believable romance here than in the book. Plus 5 non-creeper points.

(Please I can't stop looking at how old all these Musketeers are 😅😅😅)

Okay so they've also given Athos a BROTHER. Who is part of a Protestant conspiracy. This is all so fucking crazy, I don't even know what to say. Am I watching the musketeers or La Reine Margot? 🤔

Incidentally, the King also gets a brother! Everyone gets a brother! J/K at least the King really did have a historical brother. Athos just gets fucked with in this movie a lot. Automatic minus one point for unnecessary siblings.

WHY must you all insist on having these super SECRET conversations in the middle of a public square where literally anyone can hear you? Minus one dumbass point.

And now d'Artagnan must go to England.... Alone? Because it's more heroic this way? Ambushed by ghost squirrels in the woods? Oh no, that's just Athos, lurking in the woods, as one does. "All misery comes from love." Thanks, Old Man Lush.

This revisionist tale of Milady's past is all very convenient but I FUCKING HATE IT every single time they try to do this in modern adaptations. Let Milady Be Evil 2023! But I see that you will not. Listen, it's not "feminist" to turn the villain into the victim. I'm so tired. 🤦🏻‍♀️ These misguided attempts at feminism really do not do her any favors, she has a lot more agency as simply the Really Bad Girl who just wanted money and power. Minus 5 points for not letting Milady have any fun and minus another 10 points for giving her an abusive ex-husband!

As for Athos, IMO it's always much more compelling to let him be the guy who tried to kill his beloved wife for betraying him, than to make him the spineless man who turns her over to the authorities for Handwavium. Yes, it's pretty fucked up. But it's much more humanizing and makes him a darker, more interesting character. And I will always maintain that.

(This movie is so fucking dark, all the scenes take place at night or in some cthonic tunnels or prisons ffs have mercy on my eyes!)

Oh dear, here we go again. Milady taking a Dramatique - and completely unnecessary - dive off a cliff. Only this time, we know she doesn't die because.... She can swim? And definitely will not have all her bones broken by that 1000 ft fall. Minus 20 points for lazy writing.

(My God, everyone is so dirty, you would think they never did their laundry in France 🤦🏻‍♀️)

Ironically, the only well lit scene takes place in what looks like the Notre Dame which is just very silly as that place is a sepulcher.

(Once again, we are advancing the plot by having super secret conversations conducted in the middle of the palace with an open door where anyone can see and hear you plotting 🤦🏻‍♀️ Minus one petty point.)

Okay, so poor Constance has been kidnapped, and our young hero (who is already a Lieutenant because he and his pals conveniently saved the King's life in a plot twist that was very necessary in other to return Athos to favor in this version) lies unconscious in the streets. They probably didn't even try to kill him this time because they know he's immortal. And speaking of people who just won't die, in a mid-credits scene, it is confirmed that Milady is indeed, very much Not Dead Yet. Surprise! The scene is now set for war in The Three Musketeers: Part 2: Milady.

In summary:

I tallied up my totally random points and ended up with a score of -51, which is Not Good, my friends.

Okay, so I've seen much worse? It's better than Atrocity in 3D, for example, which was just barely watchable as a film and as an adaptation. But they changed so much about the plot and some of the main characters, that it doesn't really feel true to the spirit of the book at this point, which is my main criteria for measuring whether an adaptation is successful. And the main reasons for that are because it's much darker and grittier and less fun than the novel. Which - Quelle domage!

I know that as an unrepentant Athos fangirl, I tend to be biased, so I was trying to be on guard (heheh get it?) for my own biases while watching this. But it's really difficult when Ya Boy is such an integral part of the novel as well as this particular adaptation. And so I must regrettably come back to what a shame it is that they've cast a 60 year old Athos (Vincent Cassel is 57 and he's a fabulous actor whom I've loved in many of his worlks), and I feel like they had to rewrite his character to be more age appropriate and less of the drunken asshole he is in Dumas' first d'Artagnan book. But that's the asshole I fell in love with, and will stan forever. Without him going around beating his servant, indulging his gambling addiction, and being a sarcastic pain in everyone's ass, it's just a completely different story.

Pros:

Hot Eva Green!

bisexual Porthos!

d'Artagnan is given a much less creepy love story with Constance (and I assume he will also not be nonconning Milady in this adaptation)

The King and Queen are much more humanized and sympathetic here.

Cons:

Visually really drab, everything is brown, everyone is dirty.

Very little humor unlike in the novel and some other adaptations.

EVERYONE IS WAY TOO OLD, which changes the feeling of the story significantly, and IMO for the worse, because these people are just not allowed to have fun, and subsequently, neither is the audience.

I will still absolutely be here for Part 2 because I am a masochist!

Grade: B- as a piece of art, but a C as an adaptation of the Dumas classic.