#young person's guide to becoming a rockstar

[trashboating]

where is his emmy

[sunkissedchld]

𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃

𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒇𝒐𝒍𝒌𝒔

this spread is from The Hoodoo Tarot. it was the first reading i performed with the deck on myself, and i enjoyed it, so i wanted to create a PAC out of it! i intentionally wanted my first ancestor PAC to be similar to this, but it turned out differently. instead of only creating the one that didn't go as planned, i went ahead and created this one in hopes it gives you enough information about your ancestors to be helpful.

you'll receive a general message from both your maternal and paternal line reguarding how you're currently living, what they want from you, what gifts you received from them that you're underutilizing, the ancestor that most wants to work with you, and what you can expect if you work with the ancestor consistently.

the piles go from top left to right. so, the batch of pink, yellow, and purple flowers is pile i, the light and dark pink flowers with water in the background is pile ii, and so on and so forth.

take the time to close your eyes, breathe, and meditate on the PAC prompt, then open your eyes and let your guides lead you to the pile for you. i hope you enjoy!

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈

Shufflemancy:

"Stranger In My House" by Tamia Valmont

"Same Drugs" by Chance the Rapper

"Just Be A Man About It" by Toni Braxton

"P*ssy Fairy" by Jhene Aiko

"Rockstar" by Prima J

Reading:

the maternal side of your ancestors are surprised at your repuation. you're not the same young person you were a few years ago. you've blossomed into someone totally different. they're not upset with you because of this change or anything; it's just different. the paternal side sees that you've grown up to become so confident, passionate, and bold. there's a feeling of them being unsure that they can give you the information and advice that you want or may need. they're proud of you.

your maternal ancestors want you to forgive yourself and be honest with your feelings (five of baskets). both sides of your ancestors want you to let go of whatever is holding you back. you are so wise, and they see you as visionary. you may be seen as intoxicating or mesmerizing by other people on a daily basis. they're reccomending that you go to a therapist or at least learn to be okay with all the emotions you come into contact with, especially sadness. it's okay to be sad sometimes; it's not okay to push that sadness away and ignore it or let it consume you to the point where your drive is diminished because of it.

your maternal line has surrounded you with protection; it's naturally a part of you, and it's a gift that they've given you. you have this willpower that others wish they could tap into, but you have it all on your own. your paternal line has given you an abundance of resources. you could have strong familial ties; you could come from old money. reguardless, you're made to succeed in the business world. good fortune comes to you naturally. you aren't tapping either of these gifts in a way that would benefit you though; you're underutilizing what your ancestors have given you.

a specific ancestor that wants to reach out to you in represented by The Free Man (or The Fool in a traditional tarot deck). the same way you've recently tapped into this new found freedom snd confidence - this ancestor lived their lives this way. they might have gone through a similar process of finding this freedom. this person might have been the black sheep of the family. maybe you've heard whispers of their name, but the family seems to have looked down on them at some point. maybe they went against traditions set before them.

if you try to connect with this ancestor, you may suffer the same fate of being talked about in whispers between family memebers. this person wasn't a bad person though - i want to stress that. although family members will talk about you behind your back, you will have the freedom that this ancestor had. additionally, you will receive financial gains. there's a superstition that if your left palm itches, you'll be gaining money soon - that is depicted in the card presented (the six of coins). eventually, your family will get over the whispers and continue to interact with you - the whispers may indicate they could be jealous of you if you connect with the Free Man ancestor and reap the benefits of that connection.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐈

Shufflemancy:

"Black Parade" by Beyoncé

"Down Again" by Jhene Aiko

"Incomplete" by Sisqo

"Playing Games" by Summer Walker

"Mic Drop" by BTS

Reading:

your maternal ancestors seem to contact you often, or they at least want to. off the bat, they want you to pay attention to your intuition, talk to your mother or them (mother figures), and pay attention to the messages they send you, especially in dreams and visions. your paternal ancestors see you following in the pattern of your maternal ones. this is a good thing! both sides want you to continue on that path.

your maternal side wants you to stop falling victim to those who stifle your growth, including yourself. stop overthinking and bloking yourself from what you need to receive. you may be overly selfish and ignoring their messages of this. your paternal side is telling you this exact same thing. you miss out on so much by putting your own foot in your mouth. you specifically are doing two things: not allowing yourself to speak or think freely and overthinking about you public persona.

your ancestors have given you the gift of being able to work hard for whatever it is you want. you a natural student and teacher; with a little help or a demonstration, you are able to become a great apprentice. you might have a knack for entrepreneurship. you're good with going with the flow and may naturally adapt when traveling to new places.

with your selfishness, you're working on shooting yourself in the foot. there's someone in currently sighting you and because of your arrogance, you're creating a negative impression for yourself. this person is an influencer (in that they have many conections and could open or close doors for you). this person could be a woman who comes of as the "it girl". you'll know exactly who i'm talking about when you read this.

i wanna clarfiy that you don't have to down yourself or think less of yourself just because you're too arrogant right now. just recognize that there needs to be a balance. you need to be compassionate. you need to listen. be still.

the ancestor wanting you to reach out if represented by baskets. in the hoodoo tarot deck, baskets represent emotions, healing, and love. with this ancestor, the baskets all came out in reverse. this person had no idea what they wanted to do in life. they might've been a jack of all trades master of none type of person. they might've overindulged in things like alcohol or gambling. they were immature and reckless. they want you to learn from their mistakes. don't follow down their path.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐈𝐈

Shufflemancy:

"Bitter" by Summer Walker and Cardi B

"Why Try" by Ariana Grande

"Almost Is Never Enough" by Ariana Grande

"get well soon" by Ariana Grande

"Survivor" by Destiny's Child

Reading:

your maternal line is aware of the recent heartbreak you've been suffering. they feel as if you talk down on yourself so much and don't know how to deal with the emotional trauma that's been bestowed on you. while your maternal line is more understanding of your pain, your paternal line is a little frustrated that you don't recognize all of the blessings you have. it's as if you have no hope. they're a little upset you have no faith.

your maternal line wants you to keep going. they want you to utilize the talnets you've been given and just go for whatever it is you want. trust the process. your paternal line wants you to meditate and go through some introspection. maybe try journaling also! revitalize your love for life.

when talking about the gifts you've been given that you're underutilizing, both lines brought out the number seven. this number is associated with inner wisdom and intuition. you know the saying "slow and steady wins the race"? that's what you represent. despite hardships, you're good at finishing what you've started and being able to reap the benefits of long term work. when you want, you know how to stand your ground and keep trudging through the mud.

the ancestor that most wants you to reach out may be deceased. it could be a recent death, or it could be someone that died close to your birth. this person could be a woman and/or grandmother figure. if you work with them, you may get a little frustrated because they're going to push you. the number five came up twice when talking about them, so they'll bring about adventure and curiosity.

people may be more hateful towards you or jealous if you work with this ancestor, but you will also be rid of things like depression and anxiety; you will experience renewed hope. you'll be able to utilize the gifts you've been underutilizing from your ancestors. your luck will also increase, so that explains why people will be jealous.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐕

Shufflemancy:

"Good Morning" by Alex Aiono

"All Around The World" by Mindless Behavior

"I Do/Options" by Kevin Ross

"Born Sinner" by J.Cole

Reading:

disclaimer: there are mentions of s*icide / s*icidal ideation in this pile. please be attentive to your feelings when reading this pile. use discernment <3

your maternal line seems to be not bery happy with you. they feel like you're selling yourself short and not giving your total attention to what you're doing. you're taking shortcuts and doing "shoddy work". you have no ambition right now. your paternal line seems to agree in that you're not listening to anyone - your dreams, intuition, the angel numbers they've been sending you, etc. it's like you're ignoring everything.

you might feel unwelcome and family disputes are definitely happening in your household. right now you're insecure of your abilities, and you're intentionally procrastinating. your ancestors want you to be up and ready for this next challenge. you need to push through!

your have the ability to manipulate people's emotions and be deceptive. you have a very domineering personality that could be usually seen as negative or "bad" but you have the ability to use these gifts as you see wish. be careful with that.

the ancestor wanting to work with you seems to be similar to the energy you're dealing with right now; they might've been depressed when alive - stuck in negative thoughts and feelings. they might've commited s*uicide because of these thoughts. you two share these emotions and feelings and might feel like black sheeps in the family. this person could be a grandmother/father or someone like that. maybe an uncle or aunt.

if you decide to work with this ancestor, i feel that they will be healing for you. they'll help you with discernment and protection. they'll also help you with you assertiveness. they're heavy on protecting you. they don't want you to suffer anymore with the thoughts you two share. they want to help you keep going.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐕

Shufflemancy:

"Wake Up Call" by Maroon 5

"Spaceship" by Noah Davis

"successful (live)" by Ariana Grande

"Video Killed The Radio Star" by The Buggles

Reading:

your maternal ancestors think you're a great comfort to others and always prepared. you value education and know exactly who you are. your paternal side sees your independence, and both sides love that you're embracing the new and making plans for the future.

your maternal line wants you to keep up the good working. keep planting the fruits that will grow and finish what you've started. your paternal line wants you to be more open though. be open to sharing and receiving love. be more compassionate. connect more to your spirituality. be near the water - it will make you stronger.

your maternal line seem otherworldly. maybe they were lightworkers? or engaged in spirituality themselves? either way, they've passed down the gifts associated with that. it may be easier for you to meditate or connect with the world. you yourself might be a lightworker or something of the sort. you need to utilize this gift more.

your paternal line may have had easy access to the dead? speaking wise. it might've been easy for them to pick up on that type of energy. this was also passed down to you, but again, you don't use the way you should. both sides of your ancestors probably want you to reach out to them.

with this pile, no specific person came out, so just try to reach out to your ancestors as a whole. maybe passed grandparents? the number eight keeps popping up so if you work with your ancestors as a whole, success will come to you - material and spiritual. good luck!

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐕𝐈

Shufflemancy:

"When The Party's Over" by Billie Eilish

"24K Magic" by Bruno Mars

"Icy Grl" by Saweetie

"breathin" by Ariana Grande

"Deep Reverance" by Big Sean

Reading:

your maternal line is glad that you're taking better measures to practice self care. you've finally learned to ask for help (or are on the verge of it), and it's like they're rejoicing because of it. your paternal line on the other hand wants to get straight to business - there's someone in your circle that's using you, and your ancestors don't like that. they want you to be on the lookout.

your ancestors want you to start being active in the healing of your family. things seem to be disfunction right now, and some members of the family may be cold-hearted and unwilling to change. they want you to be open to healing, but to also speak your mind and be honest.

your maternal line might've given you the gift of divination - by bones, astro dice, tarot, oracle, whatever. you are blessed with being able to interpret and read the cards (or other tools) well. your paternla side wants you to get a little reckless. when you utilize both of these gifts, you will skyrocket.

the ancestor wanting to work with you might be a little rude or at least very opiniated. this person might've isolated you when they were alive - as in they stayed away from you, but it seems they want to talk to you now. if you work with them, your self-doubt will go down significantly. you will find hope again with their help. you might also start teaching people more when you connect with them - you'll be able to reach your full potential.

[scotianostra]

Happy 65th birthday to Derek William Dick, better known as Fish, frontman with the group Marillion.

Fish was born on April 25th 1958 in Dalkeith, first born son of Robert And Isabella Dick. His parents ran a garage and petrol station, where he worked as a pump attendant in his youth. He has a sister, Laura, 3 years his junior. He attended Kings Park Primary School and Dalkeith High School, in his childhood home town, just outside Edinburgh.. He left school; with grade A O-levels in History, Chemistry, English, Maths and Biology and grade B O-levels in German and English Literature.

In 1976 he started to work as Forester. In 1980 he quit and started a musical career. He joined a band called Blewitt and joined Marillion in 1981. After a year of intense gigging in the UK they got signed to EMI and released their debut album Script for a Jester’s Tear in 1983.

Their biggest hit singles were Kayleigh and Lavender in 1985 (from the number one album Misplaced Childhood and Incommunicado in 1987. Their other top 40 singles included Garden Party, Sugar Mice and Warm Wet Circles. In 1988, after touring their critically acclaimed fourth album Clutching at Straws he left the band to start a solo career

In 1987 he married Tamara, a model from Berlin who he had met during the recording of the album Misplaced Childhood and who appears in the music video of “Kayleigh”. Later she also appeared in the video of his solo single, A Gentlemen’s Excuse Me. They have a daughter, Tara Rowena Dick, born on January 1st, 1991. In 2001 Fish and Tamara separated.

Derek has also tried his hand at acting his first job was in Zorro, and he isn’t shy of having a bit of fun in his roles, playing “Derek Trout”, a record producer in the 1999 series A young person’s guide to becoming a rockstar.

The East Lothian-based singer has undergone spinal and shoulder surgery and suffered two bouts of potentially deadly sepsis.

In 2020 Derek released an album called Weltschmerz, and it gave Fish a surprise hit , but not a chart hit, his management say it would have been number two in the UK charts, well done big man! The album was entirely self-funded, marketed, created and distributed from his home in Scotland and because UK chart rules require distribution through official channels it was precluded from the official charts.

Fish also revealed in that 2020 he’s retiring from the music business — saying: “I don’t want to be 70 and singing Kayleigh on the chicken-in-a-basket circuit While I can’t see him doing the likes of Rewind, I would think he will still be releasing material given the success of Weltschmerz, it sold over 60, 000 copies.

Fish did tour Weltschmerz and celebrated the 30th anniversary of A Vigil In A Wilderness of Mirrors as part of the Vigil's End tour in 2021. The tour was documented on the live album Vigil's End Tour 2021, released on physical formats in December 2022 and digitally in March 2023.

Derek has filled stadiums and sold thousands of records around the world - but he is now preparing for the quiet life in the Outer Hebrides after visiting last year.

The musician has snapped up a 35-acre croft on Berneray with his wife Simone.

A recent report says a planning application has been lodged to carry out renovations at the couple's new home at Beasdaire, which overlooks a beach at the northerly end of the island. Dick, currently lives in East Lothian and told his fans during an online broadcast earlier this month the prospect of relocating to the islands was 'really exciting'.

The former rock star is a keen gardener and host of the award-winning Fish on Friday - a Facebook live-stream. On the move he says been watching programmes about farming on the islands and held Gaelic, which is spoken widely on Berneray, in high regard.

More details about Derek on his web page here https://fishmusic.scot/

[gur2iqirfnejfodsgns]

The Drums

Discussing my practice life

The sunrise paints my kit a fiery orange as I crack open a can of cold brew. Being a drummer isn't all late nights and rockstar living – it starts with discipline and a whole lot of coffee. The morning routine isn't glamorous, but it's essential. A quick run-through of rudiments on my practice pad wakes up my wrists and gets my mind in the right headspace. Sticks drumming a steady rhythm on the countertop, I plan my day. First up, teaching. I head to the community music center where a gaggle of eager young drummers awaits. Today's lesson focuses on dynamics – how to control volume with your touch. The challenge is in seeing beyond the physical act of hitting the drums. I try to translate my passion for rhythm into relatable terms, using metaphors and even silly dance moves to get the point across. Their excitement and progress are the fuel that keeps me going.

After lunch, it's time for my own practice session. My shed transforms into a personal Thunderdome. I crank up the click track and dive into a workout routine designed to push my endurance and speed. Beads of sweat drip, arms burn, but the focus is laser-sharp. It's a battle between my body and the relentless rhythm, building both muscle and musicality. Later, I head over to band practice. The air in the cramped garage studio crackles with anticipation. We're prepping for a show next weekend, and tonight's focus is on tightening up our transitions. My role is to be the foundation, the steady heartbeat that keeps the music flowing. We dissect each song, analyzing fills, exploring different hi-hat patterns, and constantly pushing each other to be better. The highlight of the day is, of course, the gig itself. The roar of the crowd as we take the stage sends a rush of adrenaline through me. Lights strobe, bass thumps, and I become one with the rhythm, guiding the band with every beat. It's a conversation, a call and response between me and the music. The audience feeds off our energy, creating a pulsating wave of sound and movement.

As I settle down with a post-show glass of water, the day replays in my mind. It wasn't all glitz and glam, but it was a symphony of practice, passion, and the sheer joy of creating music.

[jinx-jade]

Secret Dreams chapter 1: Let the chaos begin.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng, currently eighteen years old and completely exhausted with jet lag. She flopped onto her hotel bed and stared at the ceiling, unsure how to feel at this moment in time. Was she supposed to be happy and excited, or anxious and terrified? In all honesty, she was most likely a combination of all the above. The reason for Marinette’s distress?  Jagged and Penny had decided to bring Marinette with them for a charity gala in a different country.

The overexcited rockstar and his lovely assistant/wife had dragged Marinette to many different galas and events in many different places around the world. Normally this wouldn’t be an issue and there would be no need for Marinette’s freaking out and spiraling. The cause of the young designer’s stress was where Jagged, Penny, and Marinette were visiting.

Gotham, New Jersey, in The United States of America.

Also known to Marinette as the same country, state, and city her soulmate lives in. That’s not even mentioning the fact that the charity gala they will be attending is being hosted by her soulmate’s family. While Marinette would like nothing more than to meet her soulmate in person and not just when they’re both unconscious, she was rather worried about meeting his family.

Marinette and her soulmate Damian have a rare type of soul bond, but according to studies their bond was more commonly known as the dream zone. The dream zone is a space that their bond created for them to be together while being apart. The bonded souls are brought to the dream zone whenever they are unconscious and stay there until they become conscious again. 

The definition of being unconscious in the dream zone could mean anything from asleep, to being knocked out, in a coma, or even dead. This means that if you have a dream zone bond and your soulmate died, they would simply stay in the dream zone. While the dead soulmate is stuck in the dream zone, the living soulmate can visit them whenever they are unconscious. Making it so the bonded pair was never alone and never truly leave each other

 While some bonds only appear when you meet your bonded, the dream zone bond activates as soon as the younger of the bonded pair is born. This makes it so the bonded pair are together most if not all of their lives. As a result, Marinette and Damian know everything about the soul bonded to them.

They had decided relatively quickly that they would not keep any secrets from each other. Keeping secrets from their mate could cause strain on their bond. They enjoyed talking to each other about anything and everything. Keeping secrets from their mate was pretty much an impossible task anyway. Secretes from other people was a completely different story. Keeping secrets from others was how they stayed alive as long as they have.

 The League of Assassins viewed soulmates as a weakness that needed to be disposed of as soon as possible, so Damian never said a word about his mate. Ra’s and Talia had both made sure to check Damian for any signs of a bond. When they saw that Damian didn’t have any physical bonds they just assumed that his bond would appear when he met his soulmate, or he simply didn’t have one. Not having a soulmate wasn’t uncommon. Only two out of every three people had a mate.

This assumption from Ra’s and Talia sparked an idea for the young bonded pair. Marinette and Damian decided to pretend they didn’t have a soulmate. This decision made both of their lives a lot easier. Damian never had to hunt down and kill his mate, and Marinette didn’t have to share personal information about her bond with nosey kids her age. 

They had made this decision when they were five years old and stuck with it. According to everyone and anyone they knew, Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Damian Al Ghul-Wayne don’t have soulmates. This created the current problem, Marinette was going to meet Damian in person, at a gala his family is hosting. A family that believes that Damian doesn’t have a soulmate. 

She could sense the chaos brewing.

Chaos?

Marinette let a grin appear on her face, replacing the worried look she had previously been wearing. Sitting up just enough to look at the alarm clock, she saw that it was already two in the morning

‘Damian should be done with patrol by now’ Marinette thought to herself as she closed her eyes and drifted to sleep.

Marinette opened her eyes as she appeared in the dream zone. Looking around to see if Damian was there yet.

“You should have been here before me Habibti” Damian chastised her, seeming to appear out of thin air behind her as he wrapped his arms around Marinette’s waist. Marinette let a small smile play on her lips as Damian’s hold on her tightened the slightest bit before loosening again. Letting her know that he had been worried about her.

Marinette knows full well that Damian was never really allowed to communicate his feelings through words. He was trained to not show any feelings at all. Even now, when Damian has been living with his father’s family for the past eight-year, he still has trouble putting emotions into words. As a result, Damian communicated through his actions more than he did his words. While his words might say one thing, his actions and body language usually say something else. Very rarely do Damain’s words and actions line up.

Turning around slowly, Marinette linked her arms behind his neck, Damian’s hands still resting on her waist, “ Sorry about that mon amour,” Marinette purred back in response, tilting her head to the right while slowly batting her eyelashes at him. Somehow looking every bit the picture of perfect innocence and mischief. 

Damian looked over her facial features, inspecting her from any hint of something being amiss. He nodded to himself, seeing that whatever was bothering Marinette had already been taken care of. At the very least, Marinette had already come up with a way to handle the issue.

Damian leaned forward luring her into a soft, lazy, kiss. He brought her closer to himself, which Marinette easily copied, wrapping her arms a bit tighter around his neck. Once their need to breathe outweighed his desire to be this intimately close to his bonded, Damian broke away from the kiss, inching away slightly to rest his forehead against hers.

Marinette let out a content sigh before speaking in a soft tone, “Sorry for worrying you, Dove.”

Damian let out a hum in response, letting her know that he accepted the apology. Pulling away completely, Damian quickly caught Marinette’s hand, guiding her to the living room looking part of the dream zone. Damian sat in the corner of the couch, settling his bonded into his lap, Marinette easily complied. 

Something Marinette had learned years ago was that Damian preferred being in control of situations. When something fell outside of his control, he would get anxious, causing him to do small repeated movements such as tapping his finger quietly against his thigh, arm, or table. If Damian feels that the situation is too far out of his control he'll lash out, be it physically or verbally.

“What are you thinking?” Damian questioned looking at her curiously.

“How much chaos would be caused if Gotham’s ice prince showed this much affection at the upcoming charity gala,” Marinette informed him with a smirk

Damian scoffed at his girlfriend, rolling his eyes, “You and your chaos”

Marinette lightly smacked Damian’s arm as she gasped as if she were offended, “I’ll have you know that I made Jagged’s, Penny’s, and my outfits for the gala! That’s not even mentioning the fact that I was also commissioned by your father to make your family’s outfits as well!”

Marinette huffed before her smirk returned, “I did a lot of creating, so of course I have to balance it out with some chaos.”

Damian let out a chuckle, “Then let the chaos begin.”

[shprka]

Time for Billy!!

I couldn't wait to share my ramblings on the films I have on The List who relate to him, so here it is.

I'm tagging @strangerthings4theories straight away because they are my No 1 Billy theories peeps and a lot of my inspiration for Billy's role in season 4 came from them and their brilliant analyses 🥰

- The Crow

(SYNOPSIS: Eric Draven, a young poet and a guitarist, is resurrected back to life by a crow. The crow guides Eric to his killers and he decides to give his killers a taste of their own medicine.)

A rockstar killed, brought back to life for revenge. Clawing his way out of his grave. A connection with a special young girl. Gorgeus gorgeus curls? This movie screams Billy, that's why it's at the very top! Billy is gonna come back, clown shoes are on, let's gooo

- Beauty and the Beast

A prince cursed into a beast. He has to have the curse broken by love. Rose symbolisms... I'm sure we'll see Billy go back and become "a prince" (read: a less volatile more adjusted kinder person)

- Kingsman

(SYNOPSIS: A spy organisation recruits a promising street kid into the agency's training program, while a global threat emerges from a twisted tech genius.)

LISTEN. This movie is my shit, i know it religiously, I've been in a Kingsman fandom ages ago. This movie screams Billy and Hopper, student and mentor. I am so sure of that season 4 will go in that direction. I link this movie for Eleven and Will too just because they are parallels of each other but I think no one fits this better than Billy. Eggsy is a kid with a rough background, reckless, confident, has an abusive step dad, a mom he cares deeply about (but who stays with the abusive step that putting her kids and herself under the abuse. It's not her fault by any means but it is a fact) and a little baby sister. Eggsy is blond and fit so that's another Billy quality visually. His life almost goes to shit, he almost goes to jail but he gains a chance, which is given to him by Harry, an older gentleman spy, who becomes his mentor, straightens Eggsy up a bit and they develop a close bond that is The Relationship of the movie.

Hopper will become Billy's mentor, is all I'm saying

- Terminator 2 Judgment Day

(SYNOPSIS: A cyborg, identical to the one who failed to kill Sarah Connor, must now protect her ten-year-old son John from a more advanced and powerful cyborg.)

Terminator is a character linked directly to Billy. Billy was dressed as Terminator at the Halloween party in s2, Terminator 1 was in the theatres in s2 and Billy's story parallels the story of the first film - Terminator wants to kill Sarah Connor because of her unborn special child. The vendetta against a special child is Billy possessed by the MF hunting El.

And now Terminator 2 being in s4, we will see Billy protecting the same child he tried to destroy previously. Possibly against his darker self (going into the doppelganger theme of s4) or against the new MF host who will hunt El again. All in all, I believe Billy will step into the protector role in the new season

- Terminator Dark Fate

(SYNOPSIS: An augmented human and Sarah Connor must stop an advanced liquid Terminator from hunting down a young girl, whose fate is critical to the human race.)

BUT THIS. THIS!! Is another confirmation. Billy as Terminator again has to protect a special young girl "whose fate is critical to the human race"!!

Him teaming up with Sarah Connor, who is "the mother" in the franchise makes me think Billy will team up with a mother to save/protect El. Be it Joyce or Billy's mysterious mother, we will see 👀

- Wanted

(SYNOPSIS: A frustrated office worker discovers that he is the son of a professional assassin, and that he shares his father's superhuman killing abilities.)

I thought a lot if this film fits here or not. But it fits most neatly into the theme of gaining superhuman abilities which Billy might gain when he comes back "from the dead".

- Unleashed

(SYNOPSIS: Danny is a mob enforcer who has been conditioned to behave like a human attack dog. However, a chance encounter with a blind man motivates him to leave the criminal world and start a new life.)

The words "human attack dog" immediately made me think of the Billy and demodog/demogorgon parallels. It also makes me think of Russians experimenting on him after Starcourt and, as we already know from the end of s3, experimenting on the demodog.

The again we have a volatile protagonist who has a change of heart for the better. If Billy comes back, he won't stay his asshole self, I'm sure of it

- Unbreakable

(SYNOPSIS: David, a security guard, survives a fatal train accident, only to be tracked down by a man named Elijah Price, who claims that David is blessed with superhuman abilities.)

Surviving a fatal accident and gaining superhuman abilities!!

- The Terminal

(SYNOPSIS: Viktor Navorski gets stranded at an airport when a war rages in his country. He is forced by the officials to stay at the airport until his original identity is confirmed.)

I though this would be referencing Billy coming back and the others being unsure of his identity and doubting if it's really him. After all, they saw him die. It would be funny if Billy tried to prove that he's himself to the rest of the characters.

- Source Code

(SYNOPSIS: A soldier wakes up in someone else's body and discovers he's part of an experimental government program to find the bomber of a commuter train within 8 minutes.)

Experiments again. Doubles. Waking up in someone else's body. Having to save someone. Billy vibes

- Society

(SYNOPSIS: A California teen's worst nightmares about his parents come true when he returns home to find a grotesque party in full swing.)

This is one of the films that I was like, how could this be about anyone else other than Billy?? The main character's name is Bill, the actor who plays him is named Billy. And the character is from California and he has a sister.

The entire premise is: what if you don't truly know your family? What if they're bad or evil? It made me think of the theory that Billy's mom will be back and that she has a connection to Dr. Brenner and/or the Upside Down. What if the woman Billy loves and idolises turns out to be more morally gray than he thought?

- Shooter

(SYNOPSIS: A marksman living in exile is coaxed back into action after learning of a plot to kill the President. After being double crossed for the attempt and on the run, he sets out for the real killer an the truth.)

Billy "living in exile" (aka being unable to go home) is forced into the main plot. He is searching for the truth and he is on a journey to clear his name. Possibly in a literal sense as he was sort of the cause of the deaths of all those people in Hawkins. He needs to clear his name before he comes back!

- Scrooged

(SYNOPSIS: A cynically selfish TV executive is haunted by three spirits from the past, present and future. With the help of the ghosts, he realises that he must reform himself.)

A Christmas Carroll inspired comedy starring Bill Murray. Billy will take on a journey of redeeming himself, learning his mistakes and doing better (by protecting El and saving the world). It could lead to a lot of comedic situation which I'm all for

- Papillon

(SYNOPSIS: Henri Charriere, a young man, is falsely convicted of murder. In an attempt to escape from the penal colony on Devil's Island, Henri cracks a deal with a fellow inmate, Louis Dega.)

A wrongly imprisoned young man. Maybe by some Russians? And who has to escape so he makes a deal with a fellow inmate (aka Hopper). It's more likely than you think

- Ordinary People

(SYNOPSIS: The accidental death of the older son of an affluent family deeply strains the relationships among the bitter mother, the good-natured father, and the guilt-ridden younger son.)

Definitely more Max's side of the story and the guilt she feels about Billy's death. And generally how it will impact their family.

- Nightmare on Elm Street 3 Dream Warriors

(SYNOPSIS: The victims, who survive the attack of the dangerous killer Freddy Krueger, learn to control their dreams in an attempt to fight back.)

Billy (as well as El and Will), who survived the Mind Flayer will be getting some cool new shiny powers that he will use to fight back.

- Lost Boys

(SYNOPSIS: Lucy along with her two sons, Michael and Sam moves to a small town in California. Soon, the two boys are sucked into the mysterious and dangerous world of bikers, vampires and vampire hunters.)

Lost Boys, like Terminator and The Crow, are undeniable Billy movies. His look was inspired by Michael Emerson and the whole film is about punk vampire teens. Billy gaining superhuman powers could be a reference to that.

But also there are quite a few vampire films on the VSF list so hmmm, still unsure what it means

- It's a Wonderful life (not sure, giving me Billy vibes)

(SYNOPSIS: When a frustrated businessman, George Bailey, becomes suicidal, an angel from heaven, Clarence, is sent to him. To his change of heart, she shows him what life would have been without his existence.)

Loosely based on A Christmas Carol. This and Scrooged are based on the same premise. They have to be related. And I think they relate to Billy changing from the asshole we know him as into a kinder human being. He needs a little help to get there but he will

- The Guest

(SYNOPSIS: While the Petersons grieve over their son Caleb, a soldier who died in action, David appears at their doorstep claiming to have known him. At the same time, a series of killings begin in the town.)

Idk, thought this might relate to Billy as it has a family grieving for their son. It has also a theme of doubles and doppelganger that are somehow wrong (the newcomer who tries to take place of the dead son but who also has a secret). Maybe a Billy's evil Upside Down twin coming to Hawkins to mess things up. Who knows! I haven't seen the film so there might be more references

- The Guardian

SYNOPSES (have to share them all haha):

I have to show you guys all 3 synopses from imdb because you won't get how well this film relates to Billy and Hopper and their student-mentor theme. This is the movie that made me convinced Billy is coming back and him and Hopper are gonna meet and establish a relationship. They're both similar in personalities and temperaments, they could learn a lot from each other. But also because of the swimming theme from the film, we have the character most associated with water in the show Billy and if we all agree that water and Upside Down are connected, then that means both Hopper and Billy will know how to travel the Upside Down safely and will teach the others how to do it.

- The Graduate (Billy + Mrs. Wheeler vibes)

(SYNOPSIS: While he is lured into a seductive affair with the wife of his father's business partner, college graduate Benjamin also falls in love with her daughter, Elaine.)

While I don't think Billy will fall in love with Nancy lol, I believe the movie was discussed in terms of Billy's character as the Duffers were so insistent on him having that weird thing with Mrs. Wheeler. Hopefully we won't see it again in s4.

- Good Will hunting

(SYNOPSIS: Will Hunting, a janitor at M.I.T., has a gift for mathematics, but needs help from a psychologist to find direction in his life.)

A special young man who gains a mentor who helps him change and figure out his life's purpose. Billy and Hopper. Student and mentor.

- Fast and Furious Tokyo Drift

(SYNOPSIS: In order to avoid jail time, an errant car racer is sent to live with his father in Tokyo. However, he finds himself in trouble once again when he becomes a major competitor in drifting.)

Not gonna lie, I see fast cars I think Billy. No one else is a reckless driver like him. The movie is also about traveling, Billy is going to travel in season 4 in one way or another (from and/or to Upside Down). He's possibly gonna teach others how to travel as well. In cool action scenes I hope

- Enter the void

(SYNOPSIS: An American drug dealer living in Tokyo is betrayed by his best friend and killed in a drug deal. His soul, observing the repercussions of his death, seeks resurrection.)

Billy is going go see the repercussions of his death. He's going to see how Max has grieved for his, just like the sister of the protagonist of the movie. And because Billy is coming back, it's going to be his "rebirth" or "resurection" which are main themes of this film.

- Edward Scissorhands

(SYNOPSIS: An artificial man, who was incompletely constructed and has scissors for hands, leads a solitary life. Then one day, a suburban lady meets him and introduces him to her world.)

- Shape of water

(SYNOPSIS: At a top secret research facility in the 1960s, a lonely janitor forms a unique relationship with an amphibious creature that is being held in captivity.)

Both Shape of Water and Edward Scissorhands are another versions of Beauty and the Beast, and if Billy is associated with the Beast he is also associated with Edward and the Creature, who are seemingly monsters on the outside but kind on the inside. And that kindness is their truest self. The Duffers will definitely delve into Billy's true self this season

- Fifth Element

(SYNOPSIS: Korben Dallas, a cab driver, tries to secure four mystical stones and a mysterious fifth element that alone can defeat a cosmic evil force during an apocalyptic war.)

I mentioned El is Leeloo in this allegory, a special girl detrimental to defeating the evil forces. Billy is Korben Dallas. Just like in Terminator 2 and Dark Fate, Billy carries to role of the protector. Korben is also a cab driver and as I said before, Billy and cars and Billy and travel are strong themes when it comes to the new season

- Scarface (movie seen at the Video Store)

(SYNOPSIS: Tony Montana and his close friend Manny, build a strong drug empire in Miami. However as his power begins to grow, so does his ego and his enemies, and his own paranoia begins to plague his empire.)

I'm not familiar with this film but @assortedfruitsnacks212 was kind enough to tell me that Billy has been connected to Tony Montana since his first appearance. Especially the basketball scene that is set to the song "Push it to the limit" and has themes of Billy/Tony defeating his rival and rising to the top. It is referenced again in the poster in the Video Store so we can expect more referenced to the movie in season 4

CONCLUSION:

It's just my ramblings and speculations but if I'm right, we can expect to see Billy as a protector this season. Protecting El especially (maybe also Will) as their fates are now tied. He will play a detrimental role in defeating the MF and will help in travel to and/or from the Upside Down. There's a potential in him gaining superhuman abilities which I hope will happen. We can definitely expect some serious changes of heart and to finally see Billy's true (kind) self!! I am like 99% sure Billy and Hopper will have a student-mentor relationship in season 4 or at least something like it. There is way too much evidence to prove my point. I think there might also be a darker aspect to Billy coming back, as he has a chance of facing the repercussion for his death and/or the people MF made him kill. As well as the whole theme surrounding Billy with doubles and doppelganger, which was touched upon in s3 and it may be explored more this season (evil clone Billy? Who knows).

And he might meet his mom when he comes back! Who might turn out to be someone entirely unexpected (and who knows, maybe not in a positive sense)

That's all I have, folks! For now haha

Making that list has been fun especially for Billy. It made me more hopeful that he will come back and play a big role in the events to come. I'm so excited to share this brief analysis and hope it helps anyone feel more hopeful too!

If you have any thoughts on the films, let's discuss!! I watched maybe half of them, the rest I just analysed the brief synopses of so you of you saw any of them and you have some thoughts, don't hesitate to share!! 😄

[candychronicles]

bodyguard // s. todoroki

A/N: my take on the rockstar/band/performer au for bnharem! i’m not a big fan of au’s normally but this one was a lot of fun to write! todoroki is definitely ooc in this one but i took a lot of liberties with his character in order to better fit the au storyline.

CHARACTER PAIRING: Todoroki Shouto x F!Reader

WORD COUNT: 5,091

WARNINGS: mentions of blood, gore, fighting, death, oral sex (f!receiving)

SYNOPSIS: you were in it for the money, he was an unhinged popstar. how could you two ever possibly get along?

want to read more rocking stories? click HERE !

the days at work were tiring, the nights even longer, but the pay was good and it was always satisfying to make a grown man cry as you knocked him to his knees and manhandled him away from your client.

Todoroki Shouto, one of the elite, the famed, the rich, and absolutely fucking annoying. sure, he was hot (anyone with an eye could see that) but he was just like everyone else in his industry: a cocky bastard. you didn’t mind his lifestyle too much except when it interfered with his job, like having to pry off whiny people who clung to him like their life depended on it, and for some, it probably did.

his biggest claim to fame was being in a now wildly famous band, namely the main singer. he was charming with a sultry voice and a personality that oozed confidence but he wasn’t always that way. in fact, he was originally a shy, anxiety ridden teen when he first joined, not sure how to use his voice or deal with people coming up to him in the streets. the life he lived was sheltered before that, training under his dad to take over the family business, but when sweet, innocent Todoroki confessed that he much rather be artsy and sing at the age of sixteen, things quickly changed for him. his father, Todoroki Enji, tried to convince him otherwise, told him that he didn’t know how the real world worked and that he would never be successful, but Shouto wouldn’t budge and eventually Enji caved in, or so it seemed.

Enji immediately enrolled Shouto in lessons, instructing him to shape up or ship out. if he couldn’t become successful in the industry, he would take over his father’s business instead, but that didn’t happen. Shouto excelled in lessons, blowing his instructors away with his timbre and control. he was a natural, and frankly, good enough to be a star. they weren’t so concerned with his stoic yet endearing personality. they had broken enough pop stars, molded them to be perfect model citizens, so what was one more?

the plan backfired immensely. as Shouto’s talent grew, Enji seeked out the biggest in the game, convincing them to give his son a chance at stardom. while reluctant, the board agreed, not wanting to piss off one of the most powerful men in Japan but were thoroughly surprised at the fact that his kid didn’t suck at all. in fact, he was actually good, really, really good.

they signed him immediately, whisking him away into the life of fame and fortune at the young age of seventeen. his range, the slight rasp to his tone and the ability to reach into somebody's soul and pluck the very feelings they try to hide so deeply from it’s depths pushed him towards the life of a rockstar. the freedom he had never been able to experience living at home pushed him over the edge and spiraled him out of control.

Todoroki drank, smoked, and fucked his way through cities big and small, getting himself into a lot of trouble along the way. the behavior went on for years, only getting worse as time went on. nobody seemed to be able to get control over the boy with the pretty hair and wild scar. after almost killing several women and one of his bandmates in a drunk driving accident, his team, label, and most importantly his father had enough.

the conversation between the two did not go well. Shouto was now an adult, legally free and clear from his father’s power. he had his own money, enough to live comfortably for awhile, even if he dropped the band, and all of the repressed rage, longing and anger that was pent up from his childhood. he was not stopping his lifestyle for anyone. that was, until you came along.

you were always a scrapper, getting yourself in trouble more times than you could count. it was just in your nature to defend those who couldn’t defend themselves and you spent many days on the playground beating up the bullies who picked on the sweet girl braiding flowers into her hair, or the boy who liked to play with baby dolls instead of trucks.

as you got older, your fights got fewer and farther in between, at least when it came to the public.

when you turned sixteen and kicked some kid who was trying to look up your skirt so hard in the chin that he saw stars, you were approached by a few men who slid you a card and told you if you wanted to make money fighting, come meet them.

you were a dumb kid and instead of running in the opposite direction and telling the police, you showed up at the seemingly dingy door behind the alley of a fairly run down ramen restaurant. knocking on the door and rocking back on your heels, you waited to see what would happen. it took a few seconds before a panel slid open, allowing you to see nothing but someone’s eyes peering at you in the mid-afternoon sun. hesitantly, you raised the business card in your hand, showing it to the person and jumping in surprise as the panel slammed shut and the door creaked open, inviting you in.

you nodded your head politely at who you realized was a rather bulky, burly man, before a woman dressed in a silky black dress plucked the card delicately from your hand and led you through the hallway. when she opened the door, you were taken aback by the scene.

people of all shapes and sizes stood cheering as two rather muscular men fought in an arena across the room. spit and blood flew across the floor as the two pummeled each other over and over again before one tapped out, the other man raising his fist in the air in victory. you stood, gaze fixed on the scene in front of you, blood racing at the thought of you being in the ring.

“addicting, isn’t it?” the woman whispered in your ear, a knowing smile on her face before she gently took you by the sleeve and guided you away from the screams and shouts into a private room that was much quieter.

you sat down in front of a man who was rather tall and thin, graying hair across his head and a clean shaven face.

“so, i heard you’re a good fighter. how good do you think you are?”

“uh-” you stuttered, not sure how to respond, “i think i can kick someone’s ass if i have a reason to.”

“is money a good enough reason for you?”

“money is a nice reward, yeah, yeah it is,” you confirmed, not pondering the question over for a second.

“good, you start on Saturday. come in comfy clothes that you won’t mind getting sweaty and dirty in. you’re my new ace, a secret weapon. give it six months time and you’ll be defeating guys like that out there in seconds.”

and defeat you did. over and over again, men, women, anyone who thought they were better than you were defeated by your own fists. you worked hard and then some, through literal sweat, blood and tears, to reach the status of champion of the underworld by the age of eighteen.

you were a wild card, unpredictable in your stature. you didn’t have hulking muscles and a sturdy frame, but what you did have was speed, the element of surprise, and the ability to calculate in a split second, all of which allowed you to defeat your enemies time and time again. this relative victory didn’t come without your share of sacrifices: hiding the bruises, blackened eyes and bloody lips from your family as you trained relentlessly, having to figure out a way to manage the steady flow of income that started coming your way as you fought in your first official matches, defeat after defeat as you trained, chipping a tooth and having it promptly filled in like nothing happened, having to learn how to disarm and fire a gun, work with knives and most importantly, losing a bit of your empathy along the way.

it came as no surprise when people who were much more powerful and much, much richer started taking an interest in you, placing large bets upon your head at some of the higher staked matches, a feat you worked your way up to after many years. you never failed to disappoint, knowing that these fights were the ones that mattered the most, the ones that brought you, and your boss, the biggest pools of money.

it was at one of these fights on a dreary, rainy night that you met Todoroki Enji, a hulking man that failed to intimidate you. you were used to people his size and bigger thinking he could take advantage of someone like you and it only made you chuckle thinking of how easy it would be to have him on his knees in seconds.

“i’ve made a proposal to your boss that he couldn’t refuse. he said he couldn’t and wouldn’t force you to do anything, but since you’re quite motivated by money, i think you’ll be intrigued by my offer,” he started, sitting down next to you in one of the VIP booths, sliding his business card on the table with a sly smile.

you were interested and entertained him, listening to him ramble about his shitty kid and his bad behavior. amused, you sipped on your drink as you absorbed his rants and whines about the negative reputation his kid was creating for himself, how he abused his freedom and power to the fullest extent and how his life was spiraling out of control.

“what does this have to do with me, exactly?” you finally questioned, setting your drink down and turning to face him, eyes met squarely with his own.

“i’d like to hire you to be his personal bodyguard.”

“sounds like he needs a babysitter, not a bodyguard,” you retorted, getting ready to stand up and move away from this blathering idiot.

when he spit out a number so outrageous, however, you sat back down, now thoroughly intrigued by the situation at hand. satisfied that he had your full attention, he went into details, laying down a fairly thin stack of papers in front of you as you listened to every detail.

“so let me get this straight. i’m to be his personal bodyguard, keep his shitty behavior a little more under control, whip him up into shape sort of situation. that’s it? and i’ll get paid that much for being a glorified babysitter?”

“you will have to protect him, of course. there are some crazy fans out there that climb windows, seduce themselves into his bed, stalk him, chase him down, but i don’t think it’s anything that, with your expertise, you can’t handle.”

you continued to ponder the situation before gesturing him to continue with his story. he rambled for another moment or two before picking up the papers and going over them with you: standard non-disclosure agreements, a detailed list of your job description and a contract agreement that he was subleasing you through your boss.

after a few minutes of reading the contracts over and discussing them with your boss, you agreed to the scenario, locking yourself into what would be a rather entertaining six months.

the first time you met Todoroki, he instantly tried to hit on you, but when his hand lowered down to grab your ass, you had him on his knees with his left hand behind his back before he could even blink. after that encounter, your conversations were curt. he knew what you were here for and he wasn’t about to let you get his way.

what he wasn’t expecting was for you to be so relaxed about the whole situation. he still drank, still partied, fucked almost whatever girl or guy he wanted, but anytime things got too out of hand, you stepped in, firm but gentle, guiding the crying groupies out of his bedroom after their time was over, driving him every time he got too drunk, cutting him off from any supplies when he was getting out of hand and most importantly, keeping him safe during his travels.

he never realized how much danger he was always in until you mitigated the problems with ease. he just assumed that being assaulted on the daily was something that came with being in the public until you broke some robbers finger when they tried to swipe the wallet out of his own back pocket. after that, he almost clung to you like a koala on a tree anytime he was out in public. you provided stability in a time where he was drowning in his own worries.

that didn’t mean he was ever nice to you though. in reality, he was actually sometimes meaner to you, the simple fact that some girl could be stronger than him set him off, always feeling on edge around you. you weren’t necessarily quiet, offering up any and all small bits and pieces about yourself that he ever wanted to know, but he never really knew you: not your last name, where you were from, if you had any siblings, parents, where you went to school, what your job was, who you were on the inside. it bugged him like crazy to know what your favorite color was and that you liked cheese on your ramen but not anything important, anything he wanted to know.

you liked to keep it that way, however, and would stay as friendly yet aloof as possible. this was a job to you, a job that would set you up easy for awhile and gave you a break from fighting for the most part. you wouldn’t admit to yourself that you liked the man more than you would’ve expected. you felt the way he clung to you as fans swarmed him, the way he always looked to you in reassurance as you walked the streets at night, hearing his sobs in the shower, sobs that were so broken and confused. it showed to you a side of him that was vulnerable, that showed emotion.

he broke down towards the end of your stay, realizing a little too late how much easier it was for you to do your job when he was cooperative and nice. in fact, he began to be more open about enjoying your company and spending time with you. it made it harder for you to continue with your job knowing you were falling for the pretty rich boy, for the man you were hired to protect, for the man who looked at you like you could do no wrong but vehemently would deny it. you began enjoying the little moments with him, the stolen glances, the laughing. you didn’t know what changed in him but you were glad he was someone you could get along with. underneath that crazy exterior, he was just a guy who wanted a friend.

your six months came up relatively quickly. it sucked that your cushy job living in five star hotels, eating decadent meals and working out in state of the art facilities would be over soon but you felt yourself getting lazy, weak and losing your rather sharp edge. it was time to get back into the grind and despite your heart panging at the fact that you would leave the pretty boy with the angry and sad heart behind, you were ready to go.

your last night of work consisted of the final show in Tokyo. tens of thousands of guests were set to attend what would be the bands biggest concert ever. you were calm, cool and collected as always, but the singer, not so much.

he spent the day pacing back and forth, warming up his vocals, hydrating himself, stretching and generally doing his best to calm his nerves.

in a rare act of affection, you reached out to grab your hand with his own, looking him dead in the eye and telling him that this night would be one he would remember forever; and you were right, just not for the way either of you thought.

the show went amazing, the crowd loud and receptive, the choreography flawless, the singing perfect. Todoroki ran off stage with the biggest smile he had ever seen and in his own rare display of affection, twirled you around with ease, adrenaline still pumping through his system.

you congratulated him on the great show and waited patiently for him to remove all the makeup and his costume. he emerged a little while later, hair flat against his head, wet from the shower, sweatpants and an inconspicuous gray hoodie donning his body. you bid a pleasant farewell to his bandmates before escorting him back to the car. he had requested that you drive him back to the hotel and spend one final night in the comfortable hotel beds before you headed back to your hometown.

when you arrived, however, things felt quiet, a little too quiet, and the hair stood up on the back of your neck.

“Shouto, you need to get into the driver’s seat right now, turn on the car and lock it. do not let me in until i tell you to. do not get out of the car, okay?”

he began to question you but before he had a chance to argue, you were pushing him out of the way as a knife sliced towards him, figures cloaked in black emerging from the shadows.

one, two, three, four.

you counted out the four assailants as you shoved Shouto against the car, prompting him to unlock and scramble in through the back seat. only when you heard the click of the lock did you breathe a sigh of relief and begin your attack.

the first man with the knife was tall and lanky, using his height to his advantage, trying to overwhelm you, but with a quick kick to the back of his kneecaps, he went tumbling onto his knees. now shorter than you, you were able to control him by grabbing onto the top of his head and slamming it into the ground, effectively knocking him out.

one, two, three.

the next man thought his muscles would save the day, but his size lacked any true speed, and you were able to land fingers to his eyes, a punch square to his nose. a quick chokehold and he was knocked out against the concrete as well.

one, two.

they both came at once, knives flailing in the air as they sliced your way. one managed to gouge out a chunk of flesh in your arm but you paid no mind, too focused on the task at hand as you grabbed the knife with your hand and used the other arm to knock into their elbow, making them loosen their grip enough to let go of the blade that you then embedded into their shoulder. the other assailant took your distraction to swing the knife your way and as you were trying to dodge the serrated edge, used their other fist to swing up into your chin. you felt your teeth chatter against each other, blood mixing with saliva as you bit your tongue. spitting, you slammed your hand down against their wrist, grabbing the knife with your hand and yanking, not caring that it sliced into your palm as you flipped the weapon around to shove it into their abdomen.

with both men distracted, you slammed your fist against the car door, telling Shouto to quickly unlock it so you could get in. when you heard the telltale click, you instantly dove into the backseat, yelling at him to lock it and drive as fast as he could back to the hotel. he did as he was told with an eerie calmness to him, backing out and around the attackers that were attempting to survey the damage that had been dealt to them.

once you had made the relatively quick trip back to the hotel, you hurriedly jumped out of the car, telling Shouto to carry his own bags so you could be on alert if anything were to happen, scanning each and every corner for a possible other attack. thankfully, everything was safe as you made your way into his hotel room.

you dropped him off quietly, not even attempting to walk into his room, but only fifteen minutes had passed before he was knocking on your door, a first aid kit he had gotten from the front desk securely tucked under his arm.

you let him in without a word, locking the door behind you and turning to face him. before you had a chance to ask what he was doing there, he had dragged you into your rather grandiose bathroom, sitting you on the steps leading up to the jacuzzi tub and pulling out the contents of the kit onto the floor.

he began by assessing the damage to your wounds, cleaning and disinfecting them before wrapping both your hand and arm rather efficiently.

“i had to wrap a lot of my own wounds as well as my siblings. dear old dad let the temper get the best of him sometimes and it wasn’t always so pretty,” he explained, teeth clenching together in an attempt to remain calm.

“thanks for this. i’m sure they’ll heal just fine,” you replied, not wanting to put him in a situation where he had to talk about his troubling past.

“you could’ve died protecting me today, you know?”

“that’s my job Todoroki. i was hired to protect you, i protected you, and i’m fine, thank you very much. this is not my first fight and it definitely won’t be my last.”

he sighed, rubbing his temples as he sat down on the marble floor in front of you, holding your wounded hand in his own, tracing the fabric that surrounded your palm.

“i recognized one of the cars in the parking lot. it was a company car, one of my dad’s cars to be precise. i know they can seem relatively inconspicuous but i memorized every car my dad ever had, big or small. it was definitely his car.”

you mulled over his words for a moment before sighing yourself, slumping against the stairs as your head rested against the rim of the tub.

“your dad sent those men, huh? that’s why you were so eerily calm driving away. you knew you weren’t really in any danger, that those men were secretly there to kill me,” you finally concluded, anger boiling deep within the pit of your stomach.

“yeah, i think they were. i don’t think dad is too fond of the fact that you and i got close. i-i like you a lot more than i let on, i’ve told him so. i thought that would make him happy, knowing i have someone in my life that i could rely on and trust, but he didn’t like the fact that he couldn’t control you after these six months were up, think he wanted to teach me a lesson.”

“wouldn’t be the first time i’ve had a hit out on my head. this one, however, is probably going to be a lot tricker to deal with.”

Shouto sunk deeper into himself, body shaking with rage as he saw the fight flash in his head over and over again.

“i’m going to protect you. if you want to, that is. i’ll sign you on as my own bodyguard, however much money you want. i’ll be by your side always, make sure that nobody tries to kill you, tries to hurt you like that again.”

“i can fend for myself Todoroki.”

“it’s Shouto. and why won’t you let anyone else take care of you? listen, i know i’ve been kind of an ass but i thought we were at least friends, and yet i know nothing about you. i know your favorite color, your favorite animal, that you like sunsets and the rain and snuggling under comfy sheets at the end of the day, that your eyes sparkle when you get a chance to fight but secretly crave peace and comfort, but i don’t know who you are. your name, your story, why you’re really here.”

you heaved as you sat back up, staring him straight in the eye to find no malice, no anger, only confusion, empathy and maybe even a bit of longing. so you told him, you told him everything: who you were, what you were, where you grew up, about your childhood dog and all the scraps you had as a kid, how two strange men in suits approached you and groomed you to fight at the age of sixteen, how it was the only thing you knew how to do, the only thing you were good at, how you scared yourself sometimes because you enjoyed the pain that came with the fights. he sat there watching, eyes wide and unblinking as he absorbed every word you said, every bit of pain and anxiety, of longing for someone to love and understand you, of not having to fight all the time, of wanting to be vulnerable for once.

“let me take care of you,” he declared, standing up and outstretching his hand towards you, helping you up from the cool tile, hand coming to rest behind your head once you had steadied yourself.

he leaned forward, unsure and hesitant, before placing his lips against your own, soft and gentle, tasting of mint chapstick and coffee. you were unsure of yourself, awkward, full of aches and pains, wanting so badly to let go but never wanting to get hurt.

“it’s okay, you’re safe with me. let me take care of you, please.”

that was all it took for you to open up, looping your arms around his neck as he led you back to the bedroom, careful to not run you into anything. your knees hit the back of the bed and you reflexively tensed up, like a deer in headlights.

he shushed you, rubbing his hands up and down your arms, heeding the bandage and wound underneath. you laid back after that, body attempting to relax as his hands ran themselves soothingly over your body, across your breasts, the flesh of your stomach, your thighs, the corded muscles in your calves, slipping your shoes off, your socks, kissing every inch of your body along the way, making sure you were comfortable. you shimmied out of your pants, your tight shirt, bra, underwear, finally bare for him to see, scars, bruises, all the imperfections of your life.

“so, so beautiful,” he murmured, taking his time to kiss every single blemish and scar that you had, wanting you to feel his dedication.

after what felt like hours of soft kisses, his thumb came to rest on your clit, rubbing in quick and precise circles, fingers gently parting your folds to press into your body, back arching at the feeling of him already.

“it’s all about you tonight, okay? just relax, let me show you how much i appreciate you.”

and appreciate you he did. he dropped to his knees, nose nuzzling into your pubic bone as he kitten licked your clit once, twice, three times, testing your reaction. you whined and squirmed at the feeling, already overwhelmed by his fingers lazily dragging in and out of you. you wanted, needed more, but Todoroki wouldn’t hear any of that. you deserved to be treated right, treated gently tonight, to allow your worries to melt away, if only for a few moments.

his fingers began picking up pace, pistoning in and out of you, his fingers curling in all the right spots, fists clenched into the downy comforter as you attempted to ground yourself from the overwhelming situation. his tongue worked against your clit, changing speed and pressure, trying to find what was the right combination to set you off, watching your every move intently as you squirmed around on the bed. before he even got a chance to get into a routine, you were already cumming over his fingers, creamy liquid coating the digits.

he hummed in contentment, pulling his fingers out to lick up the syrup, you watching with your pupils blown wide.

you went to sit up, body aching from the adrenaline of the fight, but he pushed you back down into the plush bed, tutting as he settled his head against your thigh, kissing, sucking and biting along the plump flesh, leaving little marks only he would know about.

his tongue began lapping at your clit again, this time harsher, more in tune with what your body wanted. you clenched your legs around his head, fisting his hair with your good hand as you tried to ground yourself yet again to reality. his velvety tongue felt like heaven against your body, coaxing moans and sighs out of your mouth. you felt your second orgasm hit you like a freight truck, tingles running up your spine. you tried to push his head away but he only held your body down, a frighteningly feral look on his face as he continued to lap against your clit, unrelenting in his pursuit to pull orgasm after orgasm from you.

after, two, three, four more highs, you couldn’t tell where one began and one ended, he was finally satisfied, pulling his face away, chin glistening in the dim light. your eyes were teary and red, overwhelmed by everything he had put you through. you had never been more satisfied in your life, and by the look on Shouto’s face, he knew it too.

your eyelids began to droop and your body relaxed into the mattress as you came back down into reality. Shouto shuffled around the room before settling you into your bed, tucking the sheets around your body and propping your head against your pillow.

he was enamored by your, by your story, how you opened up so willingly to him after tonight. nothing would get in between you two now. he was just starting to truly know you, know the real you, and nothing was going to stop him from wooing you until you were his, not even his father., and if her life was ever threatened again by him, well, Shouto would just have to kill Todoroki Enji.

[dream-a-little-bigger-x]

A Touch | Reggie Peters

Request: Hi!! I saw you were looking for Reggie requests so I was wondering if I could request one where the reader is related to Luke and has a major crush on Reggie and Reggie likes her too but doesn’t show it and that night she does with them and when they get to 2020 and Reggie flirts with those girls she gets jealous and goes off and meets another ghost and starts hanging out with him and Reggie gets really jealous and admits his feelings for her

A/N: Tweaked it a little bit cuz otherwise this would’ve been even longer! Hope you like it! :) 

Pairing: Reggie Peters x Patterson!Reader 

Warnings: minor swear words, angst 

Songs used: Touch - Little Mix | Bright - Julie and The Phantoms

Words: 5,672

1995

“Sunset Curve, are we ready to rock?!” you run into the garage, holding up rock signs whilst yelling. This is the place you’ve spent every summer with the four boys you call your best friends. Every first of July, your parents would drop you off at your Auntie Emily and Uncle Mitch’s house while they were off doing work-stuff, or so they said. But you didn’t mind, really because those boys made your summers so amazing. Especially Reggie. 

You’d met the boys years ago when they first started the band and your parents had dropped you off at the Pattersons over the summer. Alex quickly became your go-to for any problem, and you were the first person he ever told about his sexuality. Bobby turned out to be the person to prank the other boys with. And Reggie… Reggie is just Reggie. Amazingly goofy, really smart -- though people would say otherwise -- and the sweetest, kindest gentleman to ever grace this planet. He’s the sole reason you really came back this year. Your parents had given you the option to stay home alone this year since you’d become seventeen, but you insisted on going back to Los Feliz anyway. You didn’t want to spend an entire summer in your house with no friends to hang out with since they all went on holiday at the same time. No, you wanted to stay with the Pattersons and have a Reggie-filled summer. He didn’t know you had a crush on him, and neither did Luke. It’s better if they don’t know. The group dynamic would’ve been disturbed and that’s about the last thing you wanted. Only Alex knew, and that was enough. At least now you could blab about how cute Reggie was that day or about that funny thing he said to you. Alex had told you to tell him, but you refused to. That would be the worst thing you could do. 

Besides, Reggie doesn’t even like you like that. And he has other things on his mind right now, like playing the Orpheum tonight. It’s been a long, winding road with lots of ups and downs, and trials and errors, but they finally did it. Sunset Curve is having a showcase tonight at the Orpheum. THE ORPHEUM. To say you’re proud would be an understatement. 

“Someone’s excited,” says Alex with a smile as he comes out from behind the drum kit. They’d just finished rehearsing their set one final time before their soundcheck. 

“Yes! My favorite band is playing at the Orpheum, you guys!” you’re jumping up and down all the way to the blonde boy to wrap your arms around his neck in a hug. “I’m so excited for you guys!” you sigh before letting go and turning to the other guys. Two out of three boys in front of you smile at you endeared, whilst the third one scowls at you. “What’s gotten your panties in a twist, Patterson?” you ask your cousin. “Aren’t you excited you’re playing the Orpheum? This has been a dream of you since I can’t even remember when!” he chuckles sarcastically while zipping up his guitar case. 

“I would be more excited if my little cousin would be a little more covered up,” he grumbles. The boys look at your outfit, as do you. You’re wearing light blue jeans with a salmon pink off-the-shoulder cropped top. You thought it looked cool, but now that your cousin seemingly doesn’t love it, you begin to have your doubts. 

“Really, Luke?” Alex chimes in, shaking his head, “I think she looks cute.” 

“Yeah, but you’re gay, you’re not gonna be lustin’ after her,” Luke mutters. You chuckle at his lame excuse. Of course he would say that. You cross your arms at him, and purse your lips. 

“No boy is ever gonna be lustin’ after me, Patterson, because you scare them all away,” you snarl at him with a raised eyebrow. This shuts him up right away. Or at least for a moment. 

“Good. You’re too young for a boyfriend anyway,” he says instead. 

“I’m one month younger than you, Patterson!” you scoff. For a second you think he’s being serious, but then that teasing smirk tugs at his lips, reminding you that he’s only playing. 

“Just looking out for ya, cous,” he wraps an arm around your shoulders, guiding you out the garage with his guitar case in his other hand. “I need all them boys to know that if they ever hurt you, I’ll kill them.” Little do you know that Reggie’s behind the two of you, carrying his bass out the garage, and hears your entire conversation. He’s once reminded of why he can never act on his feelings. Luke would kill him if he even tried. 

At the Orpheum, you help the boys set up their instruments and then sneak backstage for a while as the boys are talking to the showrunner at the venue. You walk through the labyrinth of corridors that give out on the dressing rooms left and right. But for some reason, the room at the end of the hallway screams at you. You don’t know why you’re pulled towards this particular room, but you find yourself opening the door cautiously. A creek echoes through the empty corridor, making you cringe a little. You hastily slip through the door and turn the lights on. The artificial blaze blinds you for just a moment. When your eyes have finally adjusted to it, you let them wander around. Over the seating area with the sofas and the couch, and then finally landing on the piano against the far left wall. As a smile tugs at your lips, you walk over and let your fingertips grace over the keys before pressing one and letting a note ring out through the room. The single note reminds you of the summer you’d spend teaching Reggie how to play. He’d constantly mess up and giggle, and then he’d watch you for a while as you showed it again, only for him to mess up again because he was looking at your face instead of your hands. And every now and again, your hands would brush over the keys, and you’d feel all giddy and warm inside. Especially when he gave you that look. That one look only Reggie can give you. You’ve tried to explain it to Alex, but in vain. There was no way to explain the way Reggie looked at you that summer. That was two years ago. That unexplainable look of his faded away, as did the brushing of the hands. He never asked to play piano with you ever again, which made you wonder what you had done to chase him away like that. You cried to Alex about it or stayed awake for hours wondering what happened. 

Though there were no touches and no glances left this summer, you still remember the feeling it gave you. You remember it enough for you to get dizzy just thinking about it. With that dizzy feeling welling up inside of you, you sit down on the stool and make up a melody on the piano. Satisfied with how it sounds, you play it again and start making up words as you go. Something you and Luke did all the time whenever the other boys were busy in the summer. 

“Just one touch, just one touch Just a touch of your love is enough To knock me off of my feet all week Just a touch of your love, oh Just a touch of your love, oh Just a touch of your love is enough To take control of my whole body Just a touch of your love, oh Just a touch of your love, oh”

“Ah, here you are!” The voice coming from behind you makes you jump, and you let out a squeal as you turn around hastily. Reggie’s standing in the doorway, an amused smile on his face. You clutch your heart as though it’s going to pop out any moment. 

“Fucking hell, Reg. You gave me a heart attack!” He chuckles before walking up to you and joining you on the stool at the piano. Your heart skips a few beats while you’re trying to calm it down from getting startled so badly, which does not make it any easier. 

“Sorry,” he mumbles and nudges your shoulder with his. “What were you singing? Sounded good.” A blush creeps up your cheeks, heating you up from the inside out. 

“Just something that came up,” you reply as nonchalantly as possible. 

“It sounded great,” he compliments once more. You look up at him for a moment, finding him looking down at the piano. There is something so calming and peaceful about him, but you could never say what it was. Maybe it's the vibe he gives off or the beautiful green orbs that could stare right into your soul. “Let’s see what I remember from your piano lessons,” he then mumbles before touching a couple of keys, letting a shrill sound come out. 

You scrunch up your nose as he looks over at you with a nervous smile on his face. “Guess you should start teaching me again.” The sound of his laughter reminds you why you loved hanging out with him. Not because he’s the most beautiful guy you’d ever seen, but because he makes you laugh. There’s never been a day he didn’t make you laugh your ass off. 

“Maybe you should just give up on the piano,” you say teasingly, which makes Reggie’s mouth drop open in fake shock. “Stick to the bass, Rockstar,” you pat his shoulder before getting up and making your way to the door. You turn your head to see if he’s following you, only to find him charging towards you at full speed. Your reflexes aren’t quite on point. Before you can run away from him, he already has a tight grip on you and throws you over his shoulder. You shriek at the sudden rush of adrenaline coursing through you before you burst into laughter, flailing your limbs about to try and get him to put you down again. 

“Patterson, your cousin is being mean to me. Permission to throw her out?” You stop moving at his words. Of course, you’ll always be Luke’s cousin to Reggie and nothing else. Instead, you place your head in your hand, your elbow resting against Reggie’s back while the other hangs down. A big sigh leaves your body, and when Reggie feels this, he puts you back on your feet. He gives you a worried look first but after you offer him a convincing enough smile, the worry makes room for his happy-go-lucky personality again. “Don’t test me next time, Patterson,” he whispers before turning and heading to the stage where the other boys are. Alex gives you a knowing look, to which you just roll your eyes and go to the back of the venue where a girl is wiping down tables. 

“We’re ready for soundcheck, Gil,” Bobby tells the sound guy. He gives the band a thumbs up and gets to working. You sit back on the bench, watching as the boys play a couple of songs from their set for tonight’s showcase. They sound wicked. But they always sound wicked to you. These boys are crazy talented and tonight’s going to change everything. For all five of you. They’re going to land an amazing manager that’ll help them climb the charts and get the best tours around the entire world, and you’ll still be Luke’s cousin, left at either your parents house or your Uncle and Auntie’s. Thinking of Emily and Mitch reminds you that you need to tell Luke to come back home soon. His mother is pretty much going crazy and it’s driving you crazy not being able to tell her where her missing son is. You keep telling her he’s okay, that he just needs some time. He’ll come back. You’ve been promising her for months now and he still hasn’t returned. You’ll force him tonight, after the show. 

“That was the tightest we've ever played! Too bad we wasted all that energy on soundcheck,” you hear Bobby say as you approach the stage once they’ve finished. 

“Alex, you were smokin’!” Reggie compliments the drummer as he steps down from his stage.

“Eh, I was just warming up. You guys were the ones on fire!” The blondie deflects humbly. 

“Can you just own your awesomeness for once, Al?” you shout at him, a smirk tugging at your lips. All four boys look at you for a second before Reggie, Bobby and Luke turn back to Alex.  “All right! I was killing it!” His answer makes you very happy.  “To fuel up before the show I was thinking…” Luke starts, and you know exactly what he’s going to suggest.  “Street dogs,” the two of you say in unison. “We’re thinking the exact same thing, cous,” you say with a smirk as Bobby hops off the stage, landing beside you. You turn your head, following him with your eyes as he moves to the table you were sitting at earlier. The one that girl was wiping down.   “Hey, Bobby, where you goin’?” Luke asks, jumping down too, followed by the two other boys. You make your way to the table with them.   “I’m good,” Bobby says over his shoulder in response, then turns to the pretty girl. “Vegetarian, could never hurt an animal.” You roll your eyes at the obviousness of his flirting. The dude isn’t even that strict a vegetarian. You’re pretty sure he had a hamburger for lunch earlier today.  “You guys are really good,” the girl compliments, her accent thickly enlaced in her words. “Thank you,” Luke retorts with that flirty smile on his face. Another earned eye roll.  “I see a lot of bands, been in a couple myself. I was really feelin’ it.” Luke pats Bobby’s back.   “Ah, that’s what we do this for,” he says, then pushes Bobby back with his shoulder. “I’m Luke, by the way.”   “Hi, I’m Reggie,” the bassist says, pointing at himself.  “Alex,” he raises his hand while a smile tugs at his lips. Bobby then nudges Luke back, forcing his way in front of him. Even though they’re the best of friends, you have noticed Bobby getting jealous of Luke on more occasions than one. Mainly when it’s about the ladies.  “Bobby,” he says in a deep voice. The girl then looks over at you as you’re standing between Reggie and Alex, leaning on each of their shoulders, but haven’t introduced yourself yet, thinking it was a band introduction.  “Oh! I thought we were only doing the band,” you say, making the boys and the girl chuckle. “I’m Y/N. Luke’s cousin and band therapist.” The boys give you a questioning look. “Self-proclaimed,” you quickly add.  “Nice meeting you guys. I’m Rose,” the girl introduces herself then.  “Oh!” Reggie then starts and hands over the CD he’s holding. “Here’s our demo.” He hands her a shirt next. “And a T-shirt, size beautiful.” You remove your arm from his shoulder whilst biting the inside of your cheek, trying to withhold yourself from reacting badly to his obvious attempts at flirting. Alex scoffs and shakes his head in disappointment. The girl holds the shirt in front of her for a moment before flinging it over her shoulder with a smile.   “Thanks! I’ll make sure not to wipe the tables down with this one,” she jokes, which makes you chuckle slightly. Mostly at the fact why these boys -- except Alex -- are so enthralled by this girl. Not only is she really gorgeous, she’s funny too.  “Oh! Good call!” Alex starts, “Whenever they get wet, they kinda fall apart in your hands.”  “Don’t you guys have to go get hotdogs?” Bobby asks, clearly wanting to get rid of all of you, so he can flirt with Rose without being disturbed or embarrassed by his friends.  “Yeah,” Luke pushes Bobby away as he leans forward to Rose.  “He totally had a hamburger for lunch,” you say in unison with your cousin, once again. Rose laughs lightly, but you’re not sure whether it’s at the two of you exposing your friend or at the fact you said it at the same time. Might be both too.  The four of you make your way out of the Orpheum and onto Sunset Boulevard, chatting about that night whilst making your way to the hot dog vendor you’ve been to a couple of times. You try your hardest to ignore Reggie flirting with some fans at the door and focus on the  night ahead. The  night that’s going to change everything.  And it does, but not in the way any of you had expected. That night, the four of you die from eating tainted hot dogs. At first, it just tasted a little off, then you began to feel a little queasy until the lights went out completely. The next thing you know is a dark room and hearing Alex’s soft sobs echo through the darkness. So… That was it for the four of you… 

 2020

Or that’s what you thought. After a while of being in that dark room and you holding Alex as he cried, you suddenly feel something pulling at you. It’s this weird force that keeps pulling at your skin, which makes all four of you scream until you finally land on a hard floor with a loud thud. Groaning and coughing from the impact of the fall, you get up, looking around at the very familiar surrounding you find yourself in. “Woah! How did we get back here?” Luke asks, realizing the exact same thing. You’re back in the garage, in the exact same spot you were this morning. All of a sudden, a loud, ear-piercing scream startles all four of you, sending you into a huddle of screams too. You just about catch a flash of yellow running out, the screaming fading away as the color did too. Long story short, apparently this girl Julie played the boys’ demo and pulled them back into the ‘real world’ but as ghosts. You’re a little weirded out about the whole ghost thing, and you don’t really know what to think of it. At least you still have the boys. “Hey! Let’s go check on Julie!” Luke suggests one day. He had suggested Julie to just perform a song for her teacher to earn her spot back in the music program with a song the four of you had written together back in the day. You’re stood at the sidelines with the three boys next to you, looking at the girl on the stage as she plays the keyboard, playing the notes you’d come up with way back when. “Sometimes I think I'm falling down I wanna cry, I'm calling out For one more try to feel alive And when I feel lost and alone I know that I can make it home Fight through the dark and find the spark” You and Luke both mouth the words along, shooting Julie encouraging glances as she continues. “Life is a risk, but I will take it Close my eyes and jump Together, I think that we can make it C'mon let's run” Suddenly, the boys poof away from you and onto the stage, instruments at the ready, to support Julie. You’re a little confused at first, but then a smile tugs at your lips as they, once again, start rocking out.  “And rise through the night, you and I We will fight to shine together, bright forever And rise through the night, you and I We will fight to shine together, bright forever” The kids from Julie’s school have now all gathered at the front of the stage, confused and excited noises erupting from the mass of people. The boys seem equally as confused as you are. Those kids can see them. You decide to go around the crowd to get to the front of the stage. You catch Luke and Julie conversing, both of them looking out on the crowd with both confusion and exhilaration.  “What’s happening, Reg?!” you shout at him, but he just gives you a confused shrug whilst Luke sings the next verse.  “In times that I doubted myself I felt like I needed somе help Stuck in my head with nothing left I feel somеthing around me now So unclear, lifting me out I found the ground I'm marching on” You glance at the group of students, the couple of jocks closest to you are headbanging to the music, clearly enjoying themselves. All but one. He’s looking at you with a flirty smile on his face. Your eyes widen at this. He can see you too? Goldilocks -- his hair looks nearly gold -- nods at you curtly in a “what’s up?” kind of way, which sends a blush right to your cheeks.  Reggie skips to the other side of the stage, not noticing anything of the interaction between you and the very alive and very attractive boy.  “Life is a risk, but we will take it Close my eyes and jump Together, I think that we can make it C'mon let's run” “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you here?” the boy asks as he walks up to you.  “I uhm… I’m with the band,” you reply pointing up at the boys on stage. Reggie skips all the way back to his microphone, your eyes locking as he shoots you a smile.  “They’re really good! Where are you guys from?” You stutter and stumble, unsure of what to tell this boy. Your eyes dart from this boy to Reggie and back.  “I’m not allowed to tell you,” you finally manage to come up with. “Management rules.”  “Okay, can I at least get your name then?”  “Y/N. Y/N Patterson,” you reply. There’s no use in lying about that part. Though Julie told you about Google and this boy might be able to look you up on ‘the Google’ and find out you died… But why would he do that?  “That’s a pretty name,” he says flirtily and licks his lips. For a split second, you look up at Reggie to find him already looking at the scene unfolding before his eyes. “I’m Chad. Chad Avery.”  “Nice to meet you, Chad,” you reply very politely, a smile tugging at your lips.  “In times that I doubted myself I felt like I needed some help Stuck in my head with nothing left And when I feel lost and alone I know that I can make it home Fight through the dark and find the spark” Your eyes widen when you catch Julie walking through your cousin. How in the holy hell is she going to explain that to the school? You quickly look up at Chad, who’s too busy with his buddies to be able to ask you what that’s all about, so you take that opportunity to poof away from him, and get your ass to the very back of the gym.  At the end of the song, the boys vanish from the stage, which earns a loud uproar of confusion from the students and faculty of Los Feliz High witnessing this. You find them at the side of the stage again, and decide to poof next to Alex.  “That’s crazy! They could see us when we were performing but not when the music stopped!” Luke exclaims excitedly while Reggie shoots you an annoyed glance, but it disappears quickly as a thought pops into his head.  “Oh! Maybe we should check!” he runs up the small flight of stairs and starts gyrating his hips. No reaction from the crowd whatsoever. “Yeah, I don’t…” he runs down again, “I don’t think they can see us.” You chuckle at his antics. That’s the Reggie you’ve fallen in love with.  “I wish I couldn’t see you,” mumbles Alex under his breath, which makes you laugh even louder. Reggie glares at you, raising his eyebrows before turning around and walking over to the girl in the purple wig. Even though she can’t see him, he still attempts to flirt with her. The entire interaction makes you feel queasy and not at all at ease.  “Ugh, please, kill me,” you mumble, earning a raised eyebrow from Alex. “Oh, you know what I mean,” you snap, annoyed at Alex for even trying to minimize how terrible you feel about the scene unfolding in front of you. But even more annoyed at Reggie for flirting with other girls even though you’re not a couple, nor will you ever be. He’s allowed to flirt, it just hurts.  “Y/N,” Alex is going to try and reason with you, but you simply shake your head at him before poofing out of the school and back to the garage.  The silence wraps around you like a comforting blanket, and that’s when the tears start streaming down your cheeks. You know you shouldn’t feel like this. Reggie can do whatever he pleases. You don’t own him. But it still hurts. It’s been more than twenty-five years of having a massive crush on him. That didn’t wash away with death. That burning, aching feeling you get whenever you see him is still there. And you doubt it’s ever going to go away. It’s there for eternity.  “Thought I’d find you here,” Reggie’s voice startles you once again. It’s almost like a déjà-vû. You’re sat at the grand piano, delicately caressing the keys, but not finding the strength to write a song. No words could ever describe how you feel right now.  “Fuck, Reggie…” you mumble, clutching your heart. In your mind, you’re scoffing at how familiar all of this feels, and you think Reggie realizes it too. He walks up to you and takes a seat next to you. Your shoulders are pressed together, and you’re trying your hardest not to show how nervous you feel.  “Why’d you leave so suddenly?” he asks, twisting the hem of his flannel around his finger.  “Just--needed some air…” you lie. You know you should tell him the truth. You’re literally going to spend an eternity with him as ghosts, might as well just come clean about everything.  “Alex told me something different…” You scoff at his words. Of course Alex had to blab. “He didn’t tell me what it was, but he did say you were annoyed at me?” He pronounces his words carefully as if trying not to overstep. “What did I do wrong, Y/N? Tell me, so I can start apologizing because I’ve tried to wrack my brain to try and find a reason for you to be mad at me, but I just can’t…” he chuckles and shakes his head, “I can think of a few, but you’d never be annoyed about those.” You can’t help but laugh at that too. As the weight of the looming truth lands on your shoulders, you exhale slowly. There’s no way around this anymore.  “I just--I couldn’t handle you flirting with that girl… I’ve watched you flirt with girls for years, biting my tongue not to say anything, but today was just… Too much…” you admit with your voice barely above a whisper. Reggie huffs beside you.  “You’re kidding, right?” You look up at his furrowed eyebrows and darkened eyes. “You can flirt with whoever you want but I can’t?!” 

You open your mouth to say something, but no words come out. He gets up from the stool and walks around the piano, halting on the other end. “I saw you flirt with that jock guy at Julie’s school and plenty other times when we were alive, Y/N! You think that didn’t hurt me?!” Frustration wells up inside you as you shoot up from your seat, leaning your hands on the keys, a distorted note echoing through the studio.  

“I barely flirted with anyone when we were alive because you guys chased every fucking boy away, Reggie! You can’t blame me for flirting with one boy after being dead for twenty-five years!” He scoffs, now leaning forward on the piano too. 

“Ever thought there might be a reason for us chasing those boys away, Y/N? Luke had his own and didn't know about mine but Bobby and Alex did! I told them to make sure no boy could ever touch you until I plucked up the courage to ask you out!” You’re stunned at his words for a split second, but then go back to the screaming match you were holding. There’s no time to properly realize he’s confessing his mutual feelings for you.  “Maybe you should’ve just, I don’t know, Reggie, just a thought, asked me!” you yell at him, seething through your teeth. You’d much rather crawl across this piano right  now and kiss him, but you’re frozen to the floor.  “You try and ask Luke Patterson’s cousin out, Y/N! That man is impossible to get through! He’d never agree to me dating his little cousin!” Your tongue glides across your teeth as you mull over the next words in your mind. Back in 1995, you would’ve never dared to speak these words out loud, but so far in 2020, you’ve learned it’s okay for a woman to come up for herself.  “Ever think about the fact that I am my own person, Reggie? That I make my own decisions about my life, my body, my heart? I decide who I love and who I date, not Luke. ME!” Your voice raises and your confidence gets a sudden boost after finally saying those words that have been written down in diaries multiple times, but never been said out loud.  “Luke would’ve killed me if I ever told him I was in love with you, Y/N!” His voice matches yours now, which is equally as terrifying as it is extremely hot. You’ve never seen Reggie like this, he’d always been the guy that shrunk whenever someone would yell at him. He’s the one that would mutter an apology rather than come up for himself.  “Well, you’re dead now, Reginald, what are you still waiting for?!” The words have only left your mouth about a second ago, but Reggie’s already charging up to you. He grabs your face and presses his lips forcefully to yours. You kiss back immediately, returning the passion and hunger he’s exhorting. This is what you’ve been waiting for, for years. You’ve dreamt about kissing him for so long, and now that it’s finally happening, you realize it’s even better than what you ever dreamt it would be like.  “I can’t believe I waited this long,” he pants when you take a break from the intensity.  “Yeah, me neither,” a very familiar voice chimes through the garage. The two of you look up to find Alex and Luke at the door, smirks on both their faces. “I had a bet going with Bobby how long it would take for the two of you to finally confess your love for each other. Guess neither of us won…” he explains nonchalantly while walking over to his guitar to grab it.  “Wa-- Wait, you knew?” Reggie asks, his eyes darting over to you and then Alex.  “Yeah, man. It was pretty obvious,” Luke replies, chuckling, whilst strapping his guitar around. “I mean, I heard you crying in your room about how much you loved him and how much it killed you not to be able to tell him,” he points to you, and a scarlet red colors your face immediately.  “You were listening in on our phone calls?!” Alex asks, knowing the exact conversation they had that night. They talked about boys constantly, especially that one summer when Alex found himself falling for the lead singer of his band and best friend. They dated briefly, but figured out they were better off as friends, for the sake of the band.  “Our walls were pretty thin, man,” Luke shoots him a teasing grin, “And you, Reggie,” he points at the boy next to you. “I caught you staring at my cousin all the time, and I just knew you didn’t shield her from flirting boys to protect my little cousin, you shielded them because you were jealous. It was so obvious, you guys! You’re not going to tell me this is the first time you realize the other’s in love with you too, right?!” Your cousin could get excited and passionate about a lot of things, but your love life was never one of them.  “I was scared you’d kill me before I could even utter a word about my feelings for her,” Reggie mumbles, looking down at his shoes. “So, if anything, this is your fault, Patterson!”  “Yeah, cous! All of this is your fault!” you agree, chuckling slightly at the widening of his eyes. “But you’re cool with this, right?” you ask, “I mean, he is your best friend, Luke…” His smile widens, the flicker in his eyes reappearing.  “Of course I am, Y/N. I just want you both to be happy,” he replies with a shrug. “Now, let’s get rehearsing!” He plugs his guitar into the amp while Alex goes behind his drums. Reggie turns to you again, glancing down at you with that look of his he always used on you two summers ago.  “Will you stay until after rehearsals? I wanna take you somewhere after.” You simply nod your head before leaning up and pecking his lips sweetly. He turns around to join the boys, grabbing his bass from its stand. Your teeth dig down into your bottom lip as a smile etches its way to your lips. Even though it’s taken you this many years, it finally happened, and you couldn’t be happier about it. You could finally kiss him and hold his hand and touch him. That electric touch you longed for, for so many years. His touch. 

Taglist: @hannahhistorian92​ @marinettepotterandplagg​ @thequirkybookaholic​ @bookdealer5​ @tenaciousperfectionunknown​ @hemmingsness​ @iainttakingshitfromnobody​ @ifilwtmfc​ @angryknightstatesmantrash​ @kiss-themoongoodbye​ @rudysbay​ @thedarkqueenofavalon​​ @caitsymichelle13​​ @calamitykaty​ @wiselight​

[fenheart87]

Lukanette prompts #26 (but Luka says it...)

There was always a feeling of calm when he came home, almost nothing was better than touching down in the Paris airport and feeling the stress from touring fall off with every step from the airplane. It had been longer than Luka had liked to be away from his family and really this time he was early, not that he had told his family just yet. Luckily, Penny was the best and booked him a room where he was able to crash for the night and had options for food places nearby as he was sick of hotel room service.

“If you’re fighting with Ma again, I don't want to hear about it.” He answered the phone, knowing it was his sister on the other line.

“No, just talking about your baby pictures.”

“Oh great, you’re being sappy? Do I want to come home in that case?” Luka teased, not meaning a word of it.

“Blame your nephew, he started it.” He choked on air as he heard shuffling before Rose’s voice came through, indicating she had taken over the phone.

“Luka! We got approved for a baby boy! Captain has been a little weepy but like a good weepy because he has the most adorable face and dark hair but with a slight curl and his eyes gosh! They are like the ocean! He really likes your baby pictures, ah I can't wait for you to meet him!” Rose squealed in excitement, risking Luka’s much needed eardrum.

“Wait, wait, how did you get a whole baby?!” the older exclaimed, putting the phone on speaker in an attempt to save his ears.

“Well, two mommies loved each other very much and decided they wanted to share their love with a very special little baby. The two mommies went to meet the baby but on their way they met another precious child and they knew right away that the little boy with hair as dark a night and eyes like the ocean was destined to become part of their family. And after some time of play dates and special trips around the city, the mommies got to take their new son home.” There was some shuffling as Rose was sniffling and his sister murmuring words of comfort to her.

“I wow, congratulations… Another Couffaine huh?”

“Not quite, we still need to finalize some papers and such. We’re meeting up at Marinette’s parent’s bakery, he loves it there. This will be his first overnight stay so we’re excited but nervous because we want him to feel comfortable.”

“I don't think you have to worry, you both have a lot of love to give and worst case, Uncle Luka can come to the rescue.”

“If you were here yeah, rescue us or him depending. Maybe next time.”

“See you can be sappy! I’ve got to get going but do keep me posted, I’ll read my message even if I don’t respond right away.”

“Sure, stay safe and away from crazy fans.”

“Jules, you know we have a dye party set for when I get back. I’ll be fine.”

"Whatever loser."

So change of plans, Luka would get to see his favorite designing baker sooner rather than later which was fine by him. First he needed to wash off the plane smell and find his plain black hoodie, then he would surprise his girls. Plan in mind, Luka grabbed his shaving kit and started the shower. Shucking off his clothes and tossing them into the bag of dirty laundry he would need to do soon, the guitarist Stepped into the Shower to rinse off with Some body wash. Deciding his hair wasn't in need of a washing, Luka quickly got out and toweled off. 

Luka watched as Marinette played with Llewellyn. The boy looked so happy to be running around the bakery and picking up speed now that he had some sweets to perk him up. It was kind of eerie to look at said child because Llewellyn was similar in looks to a younger Luka, it was definitely that fate had played a huge hand in guiding the boy to his family. The smiles on his sister's faces were definitely worth it and seeing him he hoped would bring an even bigger smile to them. 

"Do you want to color a picture or have more cookies?" Marinette kneeled down to the little boy's height and smiled gently, hoping to ease the sudden anxiety he seemed to be feeling. It really pulled at the guitarist's heartstrings and his body moved to do what needed done before his brain had caught up with it. A soft tune slipped gently from the strings, sneaking by everyone as it blended in the background and caused little shoulders that were scrunched up to slowly relax and fall at ease. Two pairs of blue eyes sought his person but he pretended to not notice as he twined together the gentle melody with the heart songs of those sitting at the table sipping their drinks.

"Luka! You big meanie head!" Rose squealed and carefully tackled her brother in law from behind.

"Hey watch it now, Claire doesn't like the rough treatment."

"Oh hush you! Sneaky little meanie head." The petite blond hugged him even tighter.

"Well since you're here, can I get you anything to eat or drink?" The designer rose from her crouch and turned to the counter, slipping through the gap of the raised counter.

"Ah something warm please and maybe a macaroon or two."

"You got it!" Marinette spun around and reached to grab a mug from the shelf, her shirt sliding to reveal a hint of green and black on her pale skin.

"I uh hey Ma-ma-Marinette uh is that- its okay if I just have a plain cup! I just uh okay please don't punch me too hard but is that a tattoo?! " He could feel his cool factor dying at that moment.

Marinette dropped from her tiptoes to standing normally once more and Luka found he could breathe again as the tattoo went out of sight again. She had always been able to give him a heart attack and the guitarist could already hear the ribbing from his ever lovable sister.

"Oh! Yeah, it was a gift from Nona. You know Nathaniel and Marc’s comic? It’s inspired by Viperion." The petite woman brought over some macaroons and his designated cup with Sabine's special blend. It was like a piece of home and Luka took a large gulp in excitement, "I tend to forget unless I'm in a swimsuit or in the shower."

"Oh Luka!" Rose cried, swatting at Juleka who was laughing and grabbed some napkins to help clean up the tea that her brother had spit everywhere.

"Hey who are you?" The small voice drew the adults attention.

"Well I am called many names but to you, I am Uncle Luka. Juleka is my sister."

“Cap’tin says I look like a little you.”

“Yeah a little bit but just means you were meant to meet us, maybe even be a part of our family if that’s okay with you?” Lka smiled softly, watching the little blue eyes grow wide and a bit sparkly from tears. “What’s your favorite song?” 

“Smoke on the water.”

“Oh good choice! And what’s your name?” Luka started strumming the requested song, twisting the notes and improvising some notes as he watched the kid.

“Llewellyn, I’m this many!” The small boy held up six fingers with a big smile.

“That’s a big number.”

“Not as big as your number though… Why is your hair blue? Can I have green hair? Can I play guitar? How do you play it? Is it heavy? Can you sing too? Are you a rockstar? When I’m big, can I be like you?” The young boy fired off, slightly catching Luka off guard and causing the women to laugh.

“Slow down speed racer, deep breath,” the guitarist inhaled slowly and evenly with Llewellyn and released the breath in the same manner before answering, “now isn't that better? Blue is my favorite color, maybe we can have matching green hair for your party. Playing guitar can be tricky but if you want I can show you how, it can be heavy if you hold it too long but then you build up some muscles and it’s not so bad. I can sing but not as good as your Momma Rose. I’m not a big rockstar but when I grow up more I hope to be. And I’d like that but I doubt Momma Jules would like that too much, I drive her crazy.”

“Are you mean to her?” The small boy frowned, scooting back a few steps warily.

“Nope, just silly and it drives your Ma crazy because it happens a lot.” Luka’s honesty and resuming the plucking of his guitar strings to ease the sudden tension. Sharing a fond look with Juleka that they would later deny, the elder male lifted his guitar and removed the strap completely before sliding to the floor. Waving over the young look-alike, he helped to position the guitar and demonstrated how to strum and play different chords before letting the child noodle on the guitar. Luka picked himself up and finished his slightly cold tea before returning the mug to Marinette.

“He’s so happy Luka! Just look at him!” Rose was sniffling and wiping away tears, the reality that Llewellyn was part of their family finally settling in.

“Yeah he fits right in. So now that you found a mini me, with your attitude and shares a whole name with me, are you going to deny that’s why you picked him?”

“Nothing to deny.” Juleka wiped away a few stray tears from her wife’s face and laced their fingers together. “It was meant to be.”

“Calling dad out here Jules.” Luka quirked a brow, ignoring the snort his words caused.

“Calling B.S. huh? Fine, that’s about ninety percent, the other ten is he looks like he could be your kid if a certain designer were the mom.”

His ears were full of cotton and he missed the squeak of surprise because of course, this was Juleka he was talking about, Marinette was coming up behind him and he froze. The slight curl to Llewellyn’s hair was similar to his if he had it shorter, the blue eyes were lighter than his but the shape reminded him of Marinette’s. And judging by the sly look in his sister’s amber eyes and the giggles from his sister-in-law, they had planned this to drop that bomb at some point. That’s what he gets for having a nosy family.

“Unca Luka! My fingers hurt, how do you play for hours ?” Luka turned around as his nephew, that would take some getting used to, groaned.

“Practice and patience.”

“Sounds like good advice for other things.”

“Practice and patience, two very very useful things when it comes to many things.” Luka tried to smile reassuringly at Marinette who was turning an even deeper shade of red and made his way back to Llewellyn, intent on ignoring his scheming sisters and spending the little bit of time left for the day bonding.

[moonchopsticks-old]

just finished aa4 and really liked it! quick thoughts:

-apollo has quickly become one of my favorite characters in aa! he really struck that sweet spot between admirable and endearing for me--a hardworking, quick-thinking young man, who grew up as an orphan and clawed his way up to success and a new family in the wrights, and who’s also unrelentingly snarky, can’t whisper for his life, is terrified of heights, and cries over people that he hardly knows. what a dork, i love him. i think they leaned a little heavily on the ‘greenhorn’ aspect of his personality-- quite a few moments where there were things i had figured out but wasn’t allowed to do anything with until another character jumped in and was like “apollo u sweet summer child THIS is the answer”. also i spoiled myself a little and i know that the next two games have “traumatize apollo” as a running theme so a little apprehensive and hoping they at least develop his character well or smth

-mixed feelings about the ‘perceive’ mechanic bc narratively it’s cool as hell but  it was frustrating to crawl through the text looking around for a very slight change in the zoomed-in sprite, especially if it wasn’t clear what they’re fibbing about which is very often. had to use a guide on those parts pretty often. also it’s just like “hey you were twitching! you’re obviously hiding something!” “oh gee you caught me i’ll spill the beans” like i feel like it could’ve been a little more subtle or gradual, idk.

- love apollo and trucy’s relationship so much!! their banter is so cute and funny and they pull off the straight man/funny man routine really well. ik nick and maya have a similar thing but the vibes were just different, for some reason. they had very strong sibling vibes (even before the reveal), which i loved. them being half-siblings was pretty contrived (like a lot of things in this game and this series lmao) but i dont really mind too much

-on a related note, why can’t they know that they’re siblings. when’s the “right time” to tell them. why can’t they just reunite with their mother who has her memories back and loves them. phoenix wh

-on another related note i can understand how jaded and disillusioned phoenix got after he got disbarred but i honestly didn’t like the whole “mysterious cryptic mentor playing 4d chess” schtick that the game pulled. it feels ooc, especially considering you briefly play as present-day him in the final case and his internal monologue doesn’t seem too different from original trilogy phoenix, or at least the phoenix you see before disbarment in the final case (although i was rly invested in finishing up the case and wasn’t paying that much attention to phoenix’s characterization specifically, so i might’ve missed stuff). phoenix’s arc of growth was great and complete in t&t and it feels like they just...gave him a whole new personality. also phoenix goes back to being a lawyer in the next two games...does he just revert back to being regular ol phoenix? idk, maybe i’m missing some stuff right after my first playthrough but it just felt weird.

-plot was really convoluted and contrived even for ace attorney (havent played aa5 or 6 yet, so idk if it gets worse). lamiroir just happened to be apollo and trucy’s mom, if zak had just been frank with phoenix and given the original diary page to him OR valant hadn’t tampered with the crime scene this whole thing could’ve been avoided. why did zak want to take down phoenix in poker to the extent of planting cards on him to make it look like he cheated when phoenix was the one who defended him in court and he’s the one taking care of his daughter??

-way too many flashbacks to things that happened 5 real life minutes ago

-g u i t a r ‘ s  s e r e n a d e

-kind of wish they had done more with trucy. i liked her but i feel like there was potential, especially since the game implies that she’s putting on a brave front for apollo, and i wish they had expanded on that a little more. like....her birth father who had been presumed dead for years ends up being alive right up until mere months before the reveal. she’s the one that ends up delivering the forged evidence into phoenix’s hands as a child, even though she was completely unaware of it at the time. she and phoenix latch onto each other pretty quickly, which was very cute, but we get little insight to how she thinks of her biological father, who we can tell she loved and misses but not much else. maybe i’m just digging for angst, idk, but it still felt like there could’ve been more. (also i really wanted more phoenix-being-a-dad content!! be a dad to ur daughter sir!!)

-klavier was pretty good! it was refreshing to have a prosecutor that wasn’t after ‘perfection’ or had a vendetta against defense attorneys/the protag, but he still managed to come off as a competent opponent. his whole rockstar persona was very cheesy but i liked it lol. (also really hilarious to me that the third case starts with him giving discounted tickets to trucy and apollo, his opponents in actual legal court) also i knew people shipped him and apollo but i wasn’t expected the game to be so forthright with it. like how else are you supposed to interpret klavier saying “i’m used to being inspected by the ladies but this is the first time ive felt like this with a man”????

-ema skye!!! loved her and glad to see her in a spotlight role but it was just kind of sad seeing her perpetually grumpy. ik people didn’t like that there were so many forensic touchpad/mic minigames but i didn’t really mind it, they were kinda fun if sometimes a little tedious

-i for sure thought that valant had been directly involved with the murder in turnabout serenade (my initial theory was that valant was masquerading as daryan during set 3 while daryan shot letouse, which was why 2nd guitar was off during the recording). also i hated daryan’s hair, why does he have a military grade skunk torpedo on his head,

-wright anything agency adopt vera challenge

-this has already gone on long enough so tl;dr solid 7.5/10 would play again once i forget what happens a little bit

[erasethedarkness]

How Do I Love Thee: Into the Limelight

Ch.2: A Loan Of Trust

Click for Ch. 1: The End

Note: How Do I Love Thee? is a series that is meant to be a slow, slow burn. While ultimately a romance, readers will not find love and affection in the first few chapters- they may not even find it in the first parts, or “arcs.” The series is meant to lay down the foundation for friendships and then build on it towards romance. The reader character exists and influences this world as much as the canon characters do- therefore, the story isn’t just about the feel good moments, butterflies, and honeymoon phase- it’s about the development of the reader and her relationships.

With that in mind, I will let you all know that HDILT? will become an Aizawa x Reader x Yamada, and hope that the wait will be well worth it to those who choose to follow the series. :)

Summary: After your uncle’s funeral, you continued to help your aunt with handling his estate, seeing to it that his will was carried out. Near the end of sorting through things, you met with his lawyer to take care of what he had left for you. It wasn’t money, and it wasn’t some simple piece of property, either. What he left for you was a surprise that you didn’t know how to handle, especially with the stipulation that you had to share it with a man you didn’t even know. But… maybe he knew what he was doing better than you could speculate.

----------

In the middle of the following week, you received a call from your uncle’s lawyer to address the rest of his will. While you were planning his funeral and contacting guests on your aunt’s behalf, you read over the legal document and found one hell of a surprise. Turns out, he had something planned for you that wasn’t a portion of his fortune like he’d left the rest of the family.

“Mr. Faria is ready for you now.” The firm’s secretary approached you with a smile, then escorted you to the conference room. Behind the fogged glass, you could make out two figures sitting adjacent to each other, and heard their muffled voices and laughter. The young man knocked on the door, opened it for you when the voices faded and closed it once you stepped through.

“(Y/N), welcome! Glad you could make it so early in the day.” An older man- you’d guess late 50s- greeted you with a smile, taking your hand and giving it a firm shake before guiding you to a seat. “I imagine you’re quite a night owl with the kind of lifestyle you lead. Has it been difficult to adjust to life now that you’re back from the tour?”

You raised a brow at the lawyer’s overly friendly tone and speculation, quirking it in an unamused and subtly baffled expression as you sat down.

“Not… quite,” you answered flatly, deciding not to entertain Faria’s behavior, “Constant travel, jetlag, a seven hour time difference, and planning a funeral make it easy to adjust to waking up early.” Your words came deliberately, establishing a clear boundary from the start that was not to be crossed lightly again. Seeing the surprised expression on the older man’s face, you pressed your lips together in calm, unapologetic smile.

Just as you were about to speak, the other man in the room cleared his throat and drew both sets of eyes to him. You didn’t forget that you weren’t alone, but as a woman who was often in the public eye, you were exceedingly conscientious of the way you allowed others to treat you.

A pleasant smile- much kinder than yours at the moment- was pressed on a familiar set of lips. You’d seen them before and watched the way they moved, his words and tone at the time a clear example of his oratory skill at the funeral. This time, however, he seemed entirely different. He even looked entirely different.

“Good morning, Mr. Yamada,” you greeted with a formal address as the lawyer took a seat beside you, surrounding you with men on both sides. The one- Mr. Faria- looked proper, as a lawyer should. The other, however, was dressed in black leather and studs, looking as much a rockstar as some of the ones at your uncle’s funeral. He even sported leather fingerless gloves. Most noticeably, however, was the way he pulled back his hair. The undeniably beautiful strands that draped over his shoulders when you last saw him were slicked up and back into an almost outlandish blond plume, and the sunglasses that previously adorned them sat in front of his eyes, replaced by a set of headphones.

“Mornin’, Ms. (Y/LN),” he answered with a small yawn. It seemed like a genuinely tired one to you, and your smile fell into a more neutral and natural expression. “Mr. Faria, let’s get this started? She may be good, but I am tiiiired!”

The lawyer chuckled at Yamada’s exaggerated tone and shifted gears from being overly friendly to strictly business. On the conference table, he had documents spread out in front of you. A copy of the will sat on top of other papers- deeds, titles, city ordinances, and others you couldn’t make out at just a quick glance.

“Of course. As you both know, William was the sole proprietor of Limelight. In the case of his death, he had arranged to split that proprietorship in two- which is why you are both here.”

Finally on the topic of business, your guarded and almost standoffish demeanor dropped. The two men leaned in towards you, following the paperwork and making sure not to infringe on your space, rightfully assuming that you would not stand for it if they had. Faria went into the legal responsibilities that were involved in owning a venue like Limelight, sparing no details and pausing often to make sure you were both following.

“Now that you both understand what accepting this responsibility would entail, please decide whether or not to accept William’s last wishes,” Faria concluded as he leaned back in his seat, giving you space to lean forward and look closer at the papers. Despite pulling away from you, his leer remained, seeming to impatiently demand an immediate response.

“...Mr. Faria, could I have a moment to speak with Mr. Yamada privately?” you asked, setting down the copy of your uncle’s will and looking to the lawyer. He smiled politely and obliged your request, instructing that you have his secretary call for him when you were ready.

“You alright? Seemed like ol’ Faria was grating on you a bit.”  

“Hahhh..” you scoffed quietly, looking from the door to the blond whose face was suddenly a lot closer to yours, sunglasses sloped downwards on his nose while green eyes peered at you. Arching a brow, you leaned back and scooted your seat away from his with a rock of your hips. “I’m sure he means well, but it doesn’t suit a lawyer to approach a client so whimsically when it’s their first time meeting, and the business in question centers around a recent death.”

Yamada leaned back into his seat, leaving your personal space as he pushed the white frames back up so the sunglasses sat properly once more. He yawned again, stretching and folding his arms behind his head as he relaxed, and swiveled his chair to face you. “So, what d’ya think?”

The way he asked for your opinion seemed so much less demanding than how Faria had. Your eyes lowered to the will that you picked up again, reading over the section detailing the fate of Limelight. Even though you knew he was waiting on your answer, it felt like you could actually think about it and, on top of that, be honest.

“Of course I want to go forward with these arrangements,” you answered after a pause, placing the will back down and turning in your seat to face him. Seeing the man decked out in leather was so different than seeing him in a black suit, and something about it simultaneously comforted and off-put you. “But… I’m also concerned this would mean the end of my time with RUSE if it means I won’t be able to go on tour again.”

“That’d be silly, (Y/N),” he giggled softly with a wider grin, stretching his arms again before placing his hands on his knees and leaning towards you. “Will’d never want to interfere with your musical career and you know that, don’tcha?”

You sighed, leaning your head back and pressing into the chair. His informal vernacular was so different from the eulogy he presented that you wondered for a moment if his quirk had to do with a second personality, but you doubted it. Despite the discrepancy in Yamada’s words and tone, the presence behind them didn’t change. They still felt like they came from the same person, his playfulness carrying the same je ne sais quoi as his eloquent speech.

“...But what would become of Limelight if I’m gone for over a year again?”

A still quietness settled between you two. Your eyes lowered to the unsigned paperwork as you turned your body back to the table and rested your elbow on it, chin in hand.

“Well, I think you’ll just have to trust me.” His suggestion came without that cheerful, melodic tone that accompanied the rest of his words today. He dragged his chair to sit beside you again, and leaned onto the table with his body facing you.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Yamada, but I’ve only just met you,” you answered the suggestion with polite detachment, “This is the first time we’ve exchanged words, and the second time we’ve really even seen each other. Trust doesn’t just happen like that.”

“Then consider it a loan of trust until we get to know each other better as business partners. If you can trust pro heroes with your life, then surely you can manage this.”

Your brows furrowed and you tilted your head, looking to him with confusion at the relevance of his assertion. “Isn’t that a bit different?”

“How so? You’d trust me with your life, but not your uncle’s venue- which he also named me a joint owner of? I’m hurt, (Y/N),” he teased at the end with a lighthearted smile and small chortle.

Your bewildered expression sharpened, but then softened and fell into a gentle, sincere and somewhat melancholy smile. “You have a point, Mr. Yamada. I’m… sorry, I didn’t realize you were a… hero, by profession.” The way you spoke was suddenly so much more lenient and almost tender despite the words being on the more formal side. Embarrassment in forgetting that he, too, was listed as an equal proprietor and not knowing- or even guessing- that he was a hero seeped onto your cheeks in a refined, but present blush.

Without missing the opportunity, Yamada brought his hand to his chest, flattening his fingers against his jacket with an exaggerated gasp.

“What? You mean to tell me that you’ve never heard of the amazing voice hero? The one and only Present Mic?! I’m- I’m flabbergasted!”

For the first time, your smile grew and you looked away with the smallest laugh. “I’m sorry! I’ve- uh, I’ve been gone for so long,” you offered as a flimsy excuse. In truth, you just didn’t keep up with pro heroes. The only celebrities you were interested in were musicians and performers.

“I’ve been a pro hero for years!” he hollered, only making you giggle more with his melodramatic exclamations and wearing away at the graveness you brought into the conference room. “Don’t- oh, don’t tell me you’ve never even heard of my Friday night radio show?” Yamada lowered his sunglasses and looked at you, green eyes almost puppy-like with his eyebrows knitted together above them. “I even broadcast from Limelight and everything…” he added with a childish whine.

It wasn’t long before he lifted your spirits, engaging you in a way that no one else dared to since your return. While most people expressed their deepest sympathies, some did try to cheer you up, only their efforts felt as distasteful as Faria’s attempt when he greeted you. But Yamada’s playful sarcasm and wit struck just the right chord with you that was enough to make you laugh and become more lax with his almost endearing banter. You couldn’t help but wonder if this was part of his hero persona, or if it was part of who he really was. Just like entertainers, it wasn’t uncommon for heroes to present themselves differently when in their costumes.

Reassured by the man who started off as almost a complete stranger to you at the beginning of the day, you requested Faria’s return and continued your meeting on Limelight’s future and ownership. With due respect and courtesy, Yamada followed your lead and placed his signatures beneath yours on each form, and within half an hour of making you genuinely laugh for the first time in over a week, concluded the meeting with a solid handshake and smile at you. Faria gave each of you a copy of the signed documents, keeping the original on file at his firm should you need to revisit them and make any changes. With business concluded, you left the office in a much better mood than you started with, and it was obvious to you that it was because of your new business partner walking beside you.

[theimpossiblescheme]

More Cats OCs!  Last time we had a set of three sisters--this time we have four brothers!

1. What is their name? Gender? General age?

Ulyssess, Cavalcanti, Orsino, and Prufrock (left to right)—all male.  The first three were from a first litter, so they’re all mature adults around Munkustrap’s age.  Prufrock was from a second litter, so he’s closer in age to Admetus and Plato.

2. What are three adjectives to describe them?

Ulysses—finicky, protective, dignified Cavalcanti—supercilious, prim, imaginative Orsino—dramatic, timid, responsible Prufrock—cheeky, lighthearted, idealistic

3. Do they have a human home or are they a stray? 

The four brothers live with a novelist in Cheshire, a young woman who writes detective stories and is currently attending night classes to become a teacher. 

4. If they have a human home, what is their home life like? If they are on the streets, what is life like for them?

Their owner, Eleanor, is a dyed-in-the-wool “crazy cat lady” who adores her pets and takes very good care of them.  Sometimes she gets distracted in her writing so much that Cavalcanti and Orsino have to paw and meow at her door to remind her to feed them, but she does her best to look out for them.  And on days she knows she’s going to be exceptionally busy, she has lots of toys and a cat tower for each of them to keep them occupied.  Sometimes, however, Ulysses thinks it’s more fun to keep her company by walking on her typewriter.

5. What is their ‘role’ within the tribe, or what are they known for? (Ex: Tugger is the curious cat/rockstar, Gus is the theatre cat, Mistoffelees is the magician, Munkustrap is the Jellicle Protector, Jelly is seen as a caretaker, etc)

Ulysses, Cavalcanti, and Orsino are exceptional co-protectors, Ulysses especially so.  He gets along the best of the three with the kittens, even if he’s easily flustered by their wilder shenanigans (he’s nowhere near as patient as Munkustrap, but he tries), and the other two work best as messengers who talk to cats outside of the Tribe.  Prufrock, however, is a charmer, but not in the same way Tugger or Alonzo are.  While those two are more Casanovas with hearts of gold, Prufrock is a Prince Charming who loves sweeping queens off their feet more than playing with their hearts (and causing a little trouble on the side with Pouncival and the gang). 

6. Who are their best friends? You can include characters from the show or tag other people’s OC’s. How popular are they?

The three eldest brothers tend to be a bit standoffish, but Ulysses genuinely likes Munkustrap and Asparagus and has a soft spot for all of the kittens (Etcetera kissed him on the cheek once for rescuing a toy mouse she’d been playing with, and he was mush all day afterward, though he tried very hard to hide it).  And Prufrock loves hanging out with Plato, Pouncival, Tumblebrutus, and Admetus, but occasionally he’ll follow Alonzo around and see if he can learn anything from him.

7. What is their favorite food? Do they prefer human food or something they’ve hunted?

Ulysses and Cavalcanti both love fish, particularly haddock if they can get it.  Orsino’s a frog hunter who likes to see if he can stake them out at the local pond, and Prufrock loves human food.  He is absolutely that cat who will sit by your chair and stare at you until you throw him scraps, and he’ll be your best friend if you let him have jam or marmalade.

8. Do they have any accessories? Scars? Why or why not?

Ulysses has a bad left eye, thanks to a run-in with an alley cat who didn’t take kindly to anyone snooping around their turf, so he wears a little cat-sized monocle on that side.  Cavalcanti wears a tiny black bowtie, and Prufrock has a red collar with rhinestones on it.

9. What style of dance do they work best in?

Cavalcanti isn’t a great dancer—he was born with Cerebellar Hypoplasia, which makes him wobble when he walks, so he sticks primarily to singing.  Ulysses and Orsino are very athletic ballet dancers, and Prufrock specializes in a mix between ballet, modern lyrical, and hip hop.  And they are all very supportive of their wobbly brother.

10. Do they have any sort of magic? Do they fear magic?

None of them have any magic of their own.  Ulysses is healthily cautious around magic, Cavalcanti and Orsino flat-out don’t trust it (the only reason they aren’t scared of Misto is that he’s so small and sweet when he isn’t throwing lightning bolts), and Prufrock loves it.  

11. Any fears?

Ulysses is afraid of losing his brothers, especially Prufrock—he knows the kind of trouble they can get into and hates the idea of not being around to protect them.  Cavalcanti and Orsino are both horribly afraid of knives.  And Prufrock has an irrational fear of being kicked out of the Tribe—every time he does something vaguely mischievous, he’s terrified that Old Deuteronomy is going to throw him out onto the street to die.

12. Do they believe in love? If so, what is their “type” and how do they act when they are in love? If not, then why?

Prufrock is the kind of cat who falls in love with roughly five different people every day—he doesn’t so much have a set “type” as his “type” is always changing depending on who he meets.  He’s very generous with his affections and tries to make anyone he’s involved with feel special.  Cavalcanti and Orsino consider themselves too “busy” to settle down with anybody, and their views of love are quite cynical (Orsino in particular likes to go on long tangents about the more “important” things in life than romance).  And in the middle, there’s Ulysses, who certainly believes in love and that anyone can find it, but thinks of himself as a “realist” who waited too long to find anyone special and is now married to his job.  He does get a little wistful watching the younger kittens with their partners, and he thinks the older couples in the Tribe are incredibly lucky.

13. Do they personally know anyone who has gone up to the Heaviside layer? Do they believe in the Heaviside layer?

They don’t know anyone personally who’s gone there, but they certainly believe in the Heaviside Layer.  Prufrock has his moments of doubt, though, but it’s usually whenever he gets scared of being shunned.

14. Any passions or hobbies? (Ex: Dance, hunting, etc)

The three eldest brothers take their jobs as protectors and messengers very seriously, but they all love to dance.  Ulysses likes entertaining the young ones if he has the time for it, and Cavalcanti and Orsino are avid hunters who use their outings as an excuse to go somewhere they’ve never been to hunt for new prey.  And whenever Prufrock’s not giving his brothers a headache, he likes to just sit and talk with someone he likes as they watch the goings-on in the Junkyard.

15. If a song was sung about them at the Jellicle Ball, what would it be about?

Ulysses gets a song to himself about the duties he takes on for his Tribe and family (maybe Munkustrap sings with him since he can relate so much!), and it sounds like a cut song from A Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder—classical-sounding, but with a sense of humor.  Cavalcanti and Orsino get a Gilbert and Sullivan meets Cole Porter buddy song about the places they’ve been around the country and are constantly trying to one-up each other.  And Prufrock gets a “Corner of the Sky”-style I Want Song about the love and adventure he wants in his life away from what Jellicle tradition expects of him.

16. What are their thoughts on some of the main characters in the show? (Ex: Tugger, Munk, Jenny, you get to choose!)

They have generally very high opinions of their Tribe family, even if Cavalcanti isn’t Tugger’s biggest fan.  But they do all have mixed feelings about Grizabella—Cavalcanti and Orsino absolutely refuse to accept her as one of their own after the betrayals the Tribe has suffered (they tend to value loyalty above all else), Ulysses thinks she’s regrettably made her bed and now has to lie in it, and Prufrock is just curious as to what makes her so terrible.  Nothing can be worse than Macavity, in his mind… right?

17. Do they have any secrets they are hiding?

Prufrock couldn’t hide anything if he tried—he’s the sort of cat who always wears his heart on his sleeve, and he’s not nearly as sneaky as he thinks he is.  And as dramatic as Orsino can be, it’s hard for him to keep any secrets as well.  Cavalcanti, however, has a much richer imagination than he lets on, and he likes to mockingly imitate cats he doesn’t like… when their backs are turned because he doesn’t want to get in trouble for disrespect.  And Ulysses privately envies Prufrock’s defiant streak and wishes he could get away with the same things, but knows he must set a good example and would never dream of making Old Deuteronomy angry with him.

[scotianostra]

Happy birthday to Derek William Dick, better known as Fish, frontman with the group Marillion.

Fish was born on April 25th 1961 in Dalkeith, first born son of Robert And Isabella Dick. His parents ran a garage and petrol station, where he worked as a pump attendant in his youth. He has a sister, Laura, 3 years his junior. He attended Kings Park Primary School and Dalkeith High School, in his childhood home town, just outside Edinburgh and I remember him scooting about town on his motorbike, always looking rather odd on the wee bike as he is a rather tall guy, as I recall he wore a leather jacket with a fish on it’s back.

He left school; with grade A O-grades in History, Chemistry, English, Maths and Biology and grade B O-grades   in German and English Literature, so he is a smart cookie! 

In 1976 he started to work as Forester four years later he quit and started a musical career. He joined a band called Blewitt then joined Marillion in 1981. After a year of intense gigging in the UK they got signed to EMI and released their debut album “Script for a Jester’s Tear” in 1983. Their biggest hit singles were “Kayleigh” and “Lavender” in 1985 (from the number one album “Misplaced Childhood”) and “Incommunicado” in 1987. Their other top 40 singles included “Garden Party”, Sugar Mice" and “Warm Wet Circles”. In 1988, after touring their critically acclaimed fourth album “Clutching at Straws”, he left the band to start a solo career.

In 1987 Derek married Tamara, a model from Berlin who he had met during the recording of the album “Misplaced Childhood” and who appears in the music video of “Kayleigh”. Later she also appeared in the video of his solo single, “A Gentlemen’s Excuse Me”. They have a daughter, Tara Rowena Dick, born on January 1st, 1991. In 2001 Fish and Tamara separated.

Derek has also tried his hand at acting his first job was in Zorro, and he isn’t shy of having a bit of fun in his roles, playing “Derek Trout”, a record producer in the 1999 series A young person’s guide to becoming a rockstar.

Music critics have acknowledged Fish for his voice, which has been described as both “distinct” and a “conflation of Roger Daltrey and Peter Gabriel”, while his lyrics have been praised as “poetic prose”. Fish was voted number 37 in the greatest voices in rock by Planet Rock listeners in 2009.

In 2020, Fish released his final studio album Weltschmerz, to positive reviews and commercial success.  His management say it should have reached number two in the UK charts,  but because UK chart rules require distribution through official channels it was precluded from the official charts. 

In an interview last year he said he didn’t find the whole lockdown period too much of a struggle. “I’m lucky because we live in East Lothian, near Haddington to the south of Edinburgh,” he explains. “It’s in the country and I live on a farm so I’m lucky that we’ve got a big garden and my wife and I are both enthusiastic amateur gardeners and that kind of saved us, basically.”

He has his own Facebook page, and yes he runs it himself, it features a  programme called Fish on Friday  It’s a two-hour show where he plays music and talks about songs and what was going on, he  describes it as a great release for himself.

It’s good he is keeping his hand in someway as on the musical career front he says it’s all over;

“I decided in 2015 that I had one more album left in me,” he says, “and the same reason I left Marillion with [1987’s] Clutching at Straws... I left that band with the best album that I thought we made together and it was at a high benchmark.

“I didn’t want to kind of peter out; I’ve never been the kind of person that throws a bit of plastic at loyal punters just to get some cash off them. ‘Oh, it’s Christmas, we’d better put an album out’ – I’ve never worked along that way, and I’ve got other things to do.”

So no more touring or albums for oor man , but he recently was in Malta and  delivered keynote speech at a conference focusing on mental wellness at the workplace.

The song I have chosen today is not one of his well known, but I don’t think there are many videos more Scottish than the one accompanying it’s called Internal Exile and is a veritable feast of Scottishness! 

I saw a blue umbrella in Princes Street Gardens

Heading out west for the Lothian Road

An Evening News stuffed deep in his pocket

Wrapped up in his problems to keep away the cold

Grierson’s spirit haunts the dockyard

The only men working, documentary crews

Shooting film as the lines get longer

As the seams run out, as the oil runs dry

Hey there, laddie, internal exile

When will you see that we got to let go?

Hey there, lassie, internal exile

When will you realize we got to let go?

Starlings wheeling, Georgian spires

And the fires of Grangemouth burn the skies

A lion sleeps in a tenement close

In a country that’s tired and deaf to his roar

Hey there, laddie, internal exile

When will you see that we got to let go?

Hey there, lassie, internal exile

When will you realize we got to let go?

We got to go now

Oh, would you please let us go now?

They bury the wasteland deep in the wilderness

Poison the soil and reap the harvest

Of blind indifference, greed and apathy

Sowed way back in our history

The fish are few and the harbors are empty

The keels now rot on our oil slicked shores

The sheep are gone, the farms deserted

It sounds out of sight and we’re out of mind

Hey there, laddie, internal exile

When will you see that we got to let go?

Hey there, lassie, internal exile

When will you realize we got to let go?

We’re gonna go now

We’re gonna go now

Like our fathers before us we’ve eyes for America

Dream of a new life on foreign shores

Wherever we go we will always know

That the land we stand on is never our own

Hey there, laddie, internal exile

When will you see that we got to let go?

Hey there, lassie, internal exile

When will you realize we got to let go?

We’re internal exile, we got to, got to let go

We’re internal exile, we simply got to let go

Got to let go

We got to go now

Would you please let us go now?

Internal exile, internal exile

Would you please let us go?

[dndgamess-blog]

DND Games Methods And steps

Players from its Nineteen Seventies-1990s heyday had grown up and moved on. Younger generations, embracing video video games and smartphones as their escapism of desire, regarded indifferent or bored by using D&D’s make-trust world of swords and sorcery, labyrinthine rules and polyhedral cube.“My most important intention became to help this glorious brand get its swagger back,” said Stewart, who grew up playing D&D and its virtual household, like Baldur’s Gate and Neverwinter Nights. He joined Wizards of the Coast, primarily based in Renton, Wash., after extra than a decade running in logo advertising for such video video games as Madden NFL and Backyard Sports and for organizations like Xbox and Rockstar Games.Now D&D appears to were resurrected as if via a 17th-level necromancer. It celebrates its 45th anniversary this year and is luring a greater numerous fan base. You can see its attain on stay streaming systems like Twitch; in lecture rooms, therapist’s workplaces, residing rooms and bars; and in indicates like Netflix’s “Stranger Things,” which weaves D&D’s tropes and monsters just like the Demogorgon and thoughts flayer into its plot. 

“We loved playing tabletop games developing up, and still do, so it’s extremely exciting to listen that the show is getting extra kids interested by D&D,” Matt Duffer, who created “Stranger Things” along with his dual brother Ross Duffer, wrote in an e-mail.Matt Duffer attributes the “tactile, social revel in” as essential to D&D’s comeback. Ross added a specific spin: “We suppose some of this is due to nostalgia, and some of it is because human beings are looking for a way to connect that doesn’t involve a computer or a telephone.”Wizards of the Coast declined to percentage distinctive income figures but stated that 2018 was the 5th consecutive year of double-digit increase for d&d and its nice income year ever. Many of the sport’s rule books, which listing for $forty nine.Ninety five, have landed on best seller lists. This summer season, Target began promoting a new “D&D Essentials Kit.”“D&D’s in that location proper now,” stated Jim Zub, a writer and artist primarily based in Toronto. “Everyone is notable excited and simply pumped approximately the interest and approximately gaming in trendy Rogue 5e.” 

Editors’ Picks Sooner or Later, Zoë Kravitz Was Going to Be a Star ‘When She Leaned Onto Me a Third Time, I Gave Her My Shoulder’ Foldable Phones Are Here. Do We Really Want Them ’s a hectic time for Zub. He is one of the authors of the Dungeons & Dragons “A Young Adventurer’s Guide” series, whose purpose is introduce younger players to the game’s ideas. The first  titles, “Monsters & Creatures” and “Warriors & Weapons,” have been launched in July, and the next in the series, “Dungeons & Tombs,” comes out later this month. He’s written numerous D&D image novels, together with a “Rick and Morty vs. Dungeons & Dragons” derivative in collaboration with the delusion novelist Patrick Rothfuss (“The Kingkiller Chronicle”), and he has a hand in the mash-up function-playing sport “Dungeons & Dragons vs. Rick and Morty” set for release on Nov. 19.

The first changed into Wizard’s choice to reboot its policies device. The game’s fifth edition, or “5e,” turned into launched 5 years ago and emphasizes storytelling and position-playing. The intention turned into not simplest to courtroom antique gamers whose D&D addiction had lapsed, however to draw curious inexperienced persons who had been grew to become off via its nerdy recognition.“I desired to ensure that a person who had performed D&D back in the ’70s and ’80s should play this version and it might sense just like the identical recreation,” stated Jeremy Crawford, the lead guidelines fashion designer for Dungeons & Dragons Handbook PDF .

[conversationswithmybipolarchild]

#3 SCHOOL & BP

Felicity: Today’s topic: school and bipolar disorder. I think this is appropriate because you are thirteen and you go to school. I have not been in school since 2002. Which, was seventeen years ago. Geez. I’m old.

F: So, you know more about this than I do. Obviously. I mean, I do remember being in school and having depression, but I have no idea what it’s like to be in school and have bipolar disorder. I can’t imagine.

Anja: There’s a whole other pole.

F Yeah, that’s got to be wild. So, I think you’ll lead this topic and I’ll be here for commentary.

A: I have...

[slams notebook on surface]

A: NOTES.

F: Hang on a second. You look so pretty right now. I need to take a picture of you.

A: Okay.

[Takes picture]

F: Okay, thank you. You may resume.

A: I have notes. And I spent about fifteen minutes preparing these notes and I think they’re very good.

A: So, when you’re bipolar and you’re in school, the most important thing is to be on meds. Because without meds, you are lacking focus. You’re disorganized. You’re easily frustrated. Which, doesn’t go well around people. You’re also easily overloaded, which also doesn’t go well around people.

A: Now, being disorganized, I’ve always said school is not a game of smarts. Although, that definitely helps. A person that might not know as much, can succeed more, if they’re organized. It’s a game of organization.

F: I’ve always heard school is more about the ability to memorize, rather than learn.

A: That too. It’s more about passing than succeeding.

F: Absolutely. You don’t have to learn, you just have to pass. That’s really sad.

A: A disorganized person is more likely to fail. I know this because I was disorganized. I was without meds, and I pretty much failed.

F: You passed only by the skin of your teeth and my persistance.

A: Yes. Now, I say you’re lacking motivation. A big misconception is that people who are manic, is that they’re motivated in every area. Like, they get everything done.

A: However, mania also comes with executive dysfunction.

F: I LOVE that term. I had never heard of executive function or dysfunction until about two weeks ago, when I read about it on Twitter. Someone used Post-It Notes as an analogy, and I thought it was genius. If I can find that tweet again, I’ll post the link to it in the comments.

A: I think it’s very fitting.

A: Mania does motivate you, but for the wrong things. Like, it motivates you to clean your entire house at 2am, or order 400 of those little arcade aliens. It doesn’t motivate you for hygiene or homework or basic daily things you need to do. It motivates you for whatever weird impulses you get in your head.

F: It’s an impulse thing. It’s what motivated Alden to, all of a sudden, rip open a microbead pillow and scatter teeny little static beads all over the house, but he can’t shower. I notice that about you. You’re so motivated to make your Tumblr posts and be there for your friends, but child, sometimes, your hygiene can lack. I mean, I have that issue with my depression but the motivation thing is so strange. When you were younger, you loved reading. You were all about your books. Absolute obsession, but I couldn’t get you to be passionate about anything else.

F: I’ve always said, because of the whole executive function thing, that bipolar children need some kind of cognitive therapy to teach them how to remember to brush their hair, brush their teeth, take showers. Without Mommy and Daddy holding their hand. As a teenager, you should be showering on your own. I just feel like, if we could get bipolar adolescents some kind of cognitive therapy, they’d at least be on a path to better daily habits.

A: The most important thing I want to bring up in this post, is that if it comes between your grades and your mental health, take care of yourself first. Do you agree?

F: I do to a point. I believe you should be able to balance both. If you take care of your mental health, your grades will follow, which, is what your point is, I think. Now, I used to disagree. When you were undiagnosed, I said on numerous occasions, “Nothing is more important than your education. Your feelings won’t get you a job. Your friends won’t get you a job. Your video games won’t get you a job.” I still stand by my statement, “There’s nothing more important than your eduation,”.I feel like it’s on parents to help you balance all of it. It’s my job to teach you how to balance your education, your mental health, and your physical health, because when you become an adult, you’re going to have to balance it on your own. So, it’s my job to prepare you. You’re going to have to balance a career, mental health, physical health, relationships, hobbies. As a parent, it’s not so much my job to push education and teach you that there is nothing else but eduation, as it is my job to teach you how to have balance.

A: I feel like the whole, “your feelings won’t get you a job” thing is pretty harsh. I mean, it’s true, but it’s harsh. Mental health is a lot more than feelings. It’s the way you are. It’s your state. And if you’re miserable all the time, because you’re so busy with school, maybe it’s just better to take an F every once in a while. You know?

F: Yes and no. I understand what you’re getting at. Old habits and feelings die hard sometimes. Eduation is incredibly important to me. But, it’s part of the reason, this last school year, I let you slack off a bit. To be able to take care of your mental health. However, I didn’t do a very good job teaching you how to have balance. All the areas of your life suffered this last school year, because te balance wasn’t there. I’m not doing a very good job balancing your life.

F: I think, as parents, we need to step up and do a better job teaching our kids how to balance the different areas of their lives. They’re all intertwined. You can’t have one without the other. You should be able to manage school, mental health, physical health, and relationships. You should be able to manage school at your best. And yes, as your parent, because I technically made you, I know what your best is. I know what you’re capable of. And also be able to balance decent mental health, which is, to me, having open conversations, communicating with one another, taking your medication, taking breaks.

A: Speaking of communicating with one another, literally the worst thing you can do, is cut yourself off and not talk about stuff.

F: Absolutely. I will attest to that! I will, because when you were diagnosed, I didn’t tell anybody. I didn’t want anyone to know my child was flawed. It felt like a stain or a blemish on my parenting. Especially when it’s all being blamed on me anyway. I held it in and my year-long depression was so deep, I didn’t see a way out. Then, I confessed. Someone on Twitter called it “Coming out of your mental health closet”, which is what I did. I said, “Hey, my kid has a major mental illness. It’s a huge struggle. I know it’s real because I took her to four different professionals and got the same answer each time. She’s on medication. This is very hard for me. I need support.” And as soon as I started being open about it, my depression lifted. I was pulling myself out of that pit. So, for me, communication is everything. Communication is the most important thing that a human being can do. Period. Communication benefits mental and physical health.

A: Yes.

A: I’m going to have to say something. It’s going to be one of those things you’re going to scold me for because I should have brought it up earlier. I hate it when you assume you know everything about me, because you made me. Like, you kind of do, but at the same time, you’re not me.

F: I agree, but I’m not saying I know everything about you. I’m saying I know what your best is. I know what you’re capable of. And that may not be because I made you, it may be because I know you. I know what you’re capable of. I’ve always known what you can accomplish.

A: But what I’m capable of changes of over the time.

F: Yeah! I know that what you’re capable of now, is different from when you were in fourth grade. I don’t have the same expectations of you now that I had then, As you evolve, I evolve as well. We do that together. I know that a lot of people think that parents and children are separate entities, but we evolve and grow together. I think, maybe, especially since I was a fairly young mother. When you were born, I had no life experiences, and we sort of grew up together.

A: I feel like because you have mental illness and you were a young mother, we can relate to each other a lot more than other neurodivergent children and their parents.

F: Also, because I value communication as much as I do, and I think I’ve passed that on to you. I need to communicate. I have to. It’s not a want. I absolutely have to. Not only for my mental health, but physical as well. I end up with ulcers and headaches when I don’t communicate. I’m miserable. I have to talk.

F: We’ve gotten way off topic.

A: Yeah. But it’s a conversation. That’s what conversations do.

F: What was I talking about initially?

F: Oh, I was talking about balancing school, mental, and physical health. I feel like, as a together parent, as a parent that’s really kicking ass, you’re going to guide your child through balancing all of those aspects of their life. Because, if you don’t teach them to do that now, they’re not going to know how to do it. Which, it’s taken me all of my adult years to figure out. I still don’t do it very well. As soon as I start getting all rockstar on my depression, well, my diabetes is out of hand. And as soon as I get my diabetes in order, I’ve neglected my home and my duties here. I’m just not very good at it. But, it’s my goal, that you’ll be better at it as an adult than I am, and you’ll be far more successful than me.

A: Having mental illness, and having to go to school, like, having homework...

A: Like, sometimes, I can’t handle it. Do you understand?

F: Yep.

A: Like, that feels so dumb to say. It feels so lazy of me.

F: No! This last school year was really hard on all you kids. Not just my kids, but the kids at your school. I heard moms at cub scouts saying how they wished they’d sent their kids to another school, because the homework was outrageous. They tripled the homework. You’ve got homework on weekends and holidays.

A: I’m surprised I don’t have homework right now. Sometimes I feel like, I’m just sitting around and I’ll think, “Oh, I need to do my homework! Oh, wait! I’ve been out of school for three weeks!”

F: Yeah. No, I mean, I get it. Especially, middle school, is super overwhelming. I wish there was no homework. You don’t want to be in that environment of pressure all day, and have more pressure when you come home. I feel like kids would have an easier time balancing their lives, if they didn’t have to bring school home. Which, is why I’m glad I took you guys out of your afternoon activities. So you’d have more time for balance. The school puts a lot on you and they’re not factoring in your mental health. They’re not factoring in how hard it is.

A: I don’t think the school board knows that mentally ill children exist.

F: I feel like it doesn’t just affect mentally ill kids. It affects all the kids. There’s so much pressure all the time and then to have to bring it home.

F: One of the things concerning school and bipolar disorder, is IEP. Your school district is so eager to hand out Gifted and Talented IEPs, but they make it next level impossible to get a one for a disability. Not in a proactive way, at least. They’re not as willing to make accommodations. I’ve been fighting for three years to get you an IEP, and all I hear is, “You’re going to hire a lawyer because your request will be denied.”

A: Why didn’t you have to hire a lawyer for G/T?

F: Exactly. The thing is, and they’ve said it to me before, if you throw a desk or punch someone in the face, they’ll write out an IEP that day.

A: I’d get expelled. If you get in a fight, you get suspended and if you get suspended, you get expelled.

F: True for your school. The problem is, they’re all about being reactive. I’d rather set accommodations up for you in a proactive way, so you don’t end up throwing a desk or hitting someone or lashing out in some way, but they won’t do it with out a lawyer. When I go to them and say, “My child has a diagnosed and medicated mental illness,” I was under the assumption that they’re supposed to work with me on that.

A: Children with mental illness should not have to hire a lawyer to get what they need from the school system.

F: That is a profound statement and very true.

F: It’s sad. I guess I’m going to have to hire a lawyer to get you what you need in school. I don’t want you to be in that position where you’re feeling unstable and you have no out. You’ve texted me a couple of times from school saying, “I’m feeling pretty on edge. Can you come get me?” I’m glad you had that out, but what if you didn’t?

F: Somebody that I know, her son threw a desk at school, and the school called the police. They handcuffed him and took him to the psychiatric unit of the local hospital before they called his mother.

A: I think that’s illegal.

F: Whatever it is, it’s not okay.

A: It’s not reflective of human rights.

F: That’s profound.

F: Do you have any more notes?

A: No.

F: Okay, then I want to end this on one note.

F: Everybody. And I mean everybody. Parents. Friends. Relatives. Caregivers. Mental Health Professionals. School systems. Politicians. Lobbyists. They’re ALL failing our children. One hundred percent. Parents aren’t paying enough attention. Parents don’t know their rights. Parents don’t see what’s happening within their own children. Or maybe they do, but they don’t know how to get help. Medical professionals are withholding information. They’re not offering treatment for children. School system is absolute crap for mentally ill children. It has such a huge stigma. I hate that word, but there is such a huge stigma around children’s mental illness. Parents are afraid to come forward. Kids are afraid to come forward. No one wants to speak up.

F: WE ARE FAILING OUR KIDS.

A: I know you wanted to end on this, but I just wish that you could go to your parents and tell them that you don’t feel good mentally, just like you would if you had a stomach ache. Like, “Oh, I’m feeling a little bit anxious” just like “Oh, I have a headache.”

A: I wish you could be picked up from school because you had an anxiety attack, just like you would if you threw up or had a fever.

F: I completely agree with you. I wish you could walk in to your doctor’s office and say, “I feel very very sad,” the same way you’d say, “I have a lot of headaches.”

F: Maybe one day. Hopefully within your lifetime. But for now, until something changes, a lot of kids are dying. A lot of kids are going undiagnosed. A lot of kids and families are suffering. A lot of kids are becoming tormented adults because they’re not getting the help that they need.

F: THEY’RE BEING FAILED AT EVERY SINGLE LEVEL.

[vogel-lynne]

The Christmas recital

Disclaimer: I know it's too soon and at the same time too late for a short story set in December, but I found right now time to post it.

Giancarlo was observing impatiently the suitcases on the conveyor belt while scrolling whatsapp notifications. He had just arrived in London with Ralf and Olivier, two of his Beyblade teammates.

All three of them were invited by Johnny at the special Christmas show hosted by his new school and the Italian boy had to say no to a luxurious weekend in Ischia with some of his classmates: "Ah, come on!"

"Take a deep breath and relax! It'll be fun to see!" Olivier was over excited instead; it was an occasion to discover Johnny's new friends as well and also to meet him in person after the big big scandal that made him famous: in November, after an escape from his mansion in Scotland followed by a long disappearance he discovered to be the son of a famous rockstar who was even featured in various NME, Rolling Stone and Q Mag monthly issues. A real artist that had already become Johnny's role model before he turned out not to descend from the McGregor household.

Everyone was still gossiping about it and he became the most followed of the Majestics on social media.

Giancarlo's baggage was the last to arrive. Ralf kept silent all the time; he was afraid to be judged negatively by Johnny's schoolmates for he knew they took his place as the redhead's best friends. Instagram was full of videos in which they were singing, having a ball or doing school things together.

As they got out of the luggage claim area, they immediately recognised a young brown-haired man who waved both of his arms in their direction; his name was Harvey and previously worked as a butler for the McGregors. He also introduced Liberty and rock music to Johnny and gave him shelter for a few nights when he got away from home: "How are you, lads?" He was all smiles: "I hope you're not disappointed to find me here instead of your friend, but you'll see...He's been pretty busy in these last days! Basically, he's never left school, but y'know...he wants to pursue his father's same career and is very determined to perform in his best conditions!"

Giancarlo rolled up his eyes: "really? Being so focused? On a silly childish school play?" When he was 6 years old he had the Angel's role in the school's Nativity representation and his family conserved all the photos in a frame exposed in one of the halls.

As soon as they arrived in the hotel and dropped most of their bags, the quartet headed to the Tube and reached the school building after seven stops and fifteen minutes on a bus.

"I hope they will let us in!" Said Olivier.

"According to the timetable, today was the last day of lessons before the winter holidays" Ralf's voice tried to sound confident, but the disapproving stare of some students made him feel uncomfortable. Luckily the janitor wasn't as suspicious as they were when he saw three new faces belonging to European people. "Wait. We haven't asked for a permission to see the rehearsals!" Ralf stopped halfway, but the janitor offered to guide them to the auditorium: "Don't worry. Family and friends are allowed to be present during rehearsing time. Only do not disturb or create a negative atmosphere...And Don't film or take pictures! You'll be able to do so during the REAL show. It's one of the Headteacher's latest decisions after some parents complained their kid didn't appear in the photo album last year! Ah, and also don't bring too big cameras...They might annoy the rest of the audience...And I guess Johnny's presence will be enough to fill the entire auditorium!"

Nobody noticed them as they entered and occupied three spots not too far from the front row, where another group of kids was waiting to take the stage. The headteacher was moving from one corner to another; she wanted to have the best results from the performance and she knew she had to do more than just coordinating and organising. Meanwhile the music teacher was correcting some students from the choir while playing the Carol of the bells on a keyboard. Other pupils were decorating the walls with ribbons, plastic candy canes and other Christmas-y symbols.

"Oh my!" Giancarlo was astonished by the girls' indifference. He was the one to enter somewhere and get their attention immediately, but the ones from the choir stayed at their places, the artsy ones kept adding garlands and the Indian dancers were too busy adjusting their feisty sarees to lose it for some guys: "Everybody is very serious in that thing!"

"Harvey said that" Ralf was reassured not to be their target. He imagined everyone despised him because he was a part of Johnny's past and mostly because the McGregors wanted them to be friends: "But where's Johnny?"

Finally the headteacher realised they were there and invited the newest student to take the stage alongside other three boys. One of them was carrying a huge keyboard and wore his hair in a bob. He was the shortest in the group, but that didn't make him shy or afraid to be judged. Next to him stood a blonde-haired one who sat on a wooden Cajon and a ginger one who timidly waved at a girl sitting in the front row. Johnny followed him with his guitar and occupied a stool.

"It's him!" Since the day Olivier discovered Johnny was son of a rockstar, he completely changed his mind about the Scot, who got targeted as a rude and not-so-intelligent individual.

"Finally!" Beside his best friend, Gian raised his voice so much everyone turned in his direction to realize three strangers came there; Ralf desired to disappear completely. Meanwhile on stage Johnny was totally shocked, for his past and his present had just met.

"Who the hell are those lads?" Asked his blonde friend: "And why are they acting as if they knew you?"

"Well, they must be the famous European Beybladers he was teamed up with..." answered the ginger boy trying to keep calm, but the shortest one interrupted: "Come on! We have no time to waste!" Johnny nodded and made a few gestures that meant

"We'll talk about it later! Now watch this!"

The quartet started to play an acoustic version of a few Christmas classics under the music teacher's control. Although they were already friends with Johnny, the majestics couldn't have witnessed his musical progress, but only imagine him practicing every single day. That was the only key to success; Olivier knew it very well, since he had replaced his family's personal chef just because he enjoyed so much cooking.

"I expected this thing to be different..." whispered Gian, visibly bored by the fact that Johnny almost had no time for them.

"Different like what?" Olivier was curious, but he had to admit his lack of musical talent. Wneh he was little his parents sent him to violin and piano lessons, but he had several difficulties when it came to read all those black and white pages with peculiar symbols. If it was written normally, like a recipe's steps, it would've been much easier for him. And when he sang in English his accent sounded so embarrassing to his own ears.

"Hush! Your commentary is distracting us!" Johnny got upset and walked down to reassure the teacher he had the situation under control and that his friends weren't as impatient as they seemed to be.

"We're at work! NOT doing this just for fun! " Added his brown-haired schoolmate, who had a cute heart-shaped face and stood shorter than Olivier, benefit to Gian's laughter.

How could that petit, feminine and egomaniacal kid replace all three of them?

Ralf wanted to become invisible again.