#young man mcgucket actually

[abyssal-author-and-artist]

Brief Little Drabble

Mabel you've made me want to do something again. How dare you/lh

Mabel -- @drifting-stars-mabel Dipper -- @drifting-stars-dipper (me actually, go check it out) McGucket -- @it-is-unseen (sorry for the ping i just got inspired)

Dipper's not sure why he's running or why his heart is beating so fast. He's panicking, and it's a familiar feeling at this point, spurred on by months of wandering the multiverse, months of seeing horrible things and not sleeping due to the pervasive nightmares.

But whatever he's running towards is worse, and he can't explain why it is, but he also can't shake the feeling.

Mabel, Mabel, Mabel, some part of his brain is whispering, the part that tells him when there's a monster behind him or when he's going to have a particularly bad nightmare. Mabel, Mabel, Mabel. She's in danger, isn't she? She has to be. He wouldn't be able to hear his heartbeat in his head if she wasn't.

And she's been so bad recently. So stressed and uncomfortable. She won't tell him what's wrong and it hurts because even if she says she trusts him, it doesn't feel like she does. It briefly crosses his head that she's protecting him, but he shakes that thought away. It's not that it's wrong - it's that he can't afford distractions right now.

The communicator in his vest screeches with feedback, and he follows it, turning it down slightly as it gets louder and louder, more staticky and more staticky, more and more persistant and keeps just getting loude-

Mabel.

She's standing in front of a man who looks like Fiddleford McGucket when he was younger. On the memories they watched. He's holding the memory gun to her head.

"Ready to forget, little lady?" he's asking, and Dipper's running, he's pushing himself as hard as he can go.

Mabel swallows audibly, or maybe she doesn't and he's just imagining it based on the little lump in her throat and the minute bob of her head. Her hands are shaking so badly he can see it as he runs towards her.

"Y-yeah. I think I-"

"MABEL," he's screaming, wedging his body between her and the young man McGucket, batting the gun away with one hand. His chest is facing her and he turns slightly to fix McGucket with a glare with all the rage in his tiny little body. So, so tiny, so helpless, so pathetic.

"Dipper?" Mabel asks, her voice breaking in a way that her voice never does. "W-what are you doing?"

"What am I doing? Mabel, what are you doing? That's the memory gun. Were you really gonna go behind my back like that? Just wipe your memory?"

"Dipper, you weren't supposed to be here, I-"

"

I wasn't supposed to be here? Oh, so you're upset at me for stopping you from wiping your memory? Mabel you know what that thing does to people. You were there when we got McGucket's memories back. That- that thing drives people insane! It does the same thing that drugs in movies always do. Do you wanna end up like Old Man McGucket? Mabel, I-I can't believe you. You went behind my back to do this. To wipe your memories. Would it have stopped here?"

"What are you-"

"Would you have just wiped this? Would you have wiped something else next?"

"No, Dip-dop, I was just gonna wipe this one thing."

"Oh, really? And you wouldn't wipe anything else? Bill possessing me? Gideon kidnapping you in a giant robot? Anything?"

"No, really."

"I don't believe you."

"Dipper, you don't understand," she pleads, her voice cracking. "I'm a wreck over this. I-I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can barely think." She lifts her shaking hands. "I'm a mess, Dipper, I need this. I just, I just need it this once. You don't understand what I've been through, what I'm struggling with."

"I don't understand? Mabel, I've seen shit too," he says, cursing without even thinking. Her eyes go wide but she doesn't stop him. "Do you know what I've been through? I haven't slept in literal months. Sure, I've tried, but that's no excuse for actually doing it. Mabel, I can't even touch you without being terrified you'll turn to bugs in my hands."

His hands shake as he lifts them, nearly as much as hers do, and a flash of panic rushes through him, the intrinsic fear of her dissolving into a mass of wriggling creatures, writhing in his hands.

He grabs her shoulders, holding her arms as steady as his own trembling ones can manage.

"We're both suffering, Mabel. I may not know what you're going through, but I can. I can learn. I can listen. Just- just tell me, Mabes. Let me into your messed up head."

"I..." she glances behind him, and belatedly he remembers that he shoved McGucket to the side to get to her. He glances at him to see McGucket with his arms crossed, tapping one finger on the memory gun.

"Are y'all done yet?" He makes a pointed expression. "I offered to help, not watch whatever this slop was. Little lady, do y'all want yer memory wiped or not?"

"I..." she glances back at Dipper. He's so close to her, and it's terrifying him but he does nothing but hold her closer.

Mabel stops shaking.

"Thanks for offering, Mr. McGucket. I... I think..." she takes a deep breath in. Her arms wrap around Dipper and he's so happy she's chosen him.

Then she's pulling him to her chest, one hand on the back of his head.

"I think you should do us both."

The memory gun hurts. He forgets it in seconds.

[turtletoria]

the krampus incident from the book of bill if it was out of character and stupid

[cygnus-is-tired]

So I’ve been lurking in the gravity falls tags for a bit and seen quite a few vampire Fiddleford aus. Which is wonderful don’t get me wrong, but most of them lean into the more classic victorian aesthetic. I however, wanted to lean more in a southern direction, I drew on some classic cowboyish designs as ways for him to hide his… affliction

Cowboy hat to shade his eyes and cover his ears (sorta)

Bandana to shield his teeth from view

Boots and messy jeans (because every farmer/ worker I know is always covered in various muck and viscera) to cover any blood he may accidentally leave on him

Vest because it looks neat

[localcanadiancreature62]

Heyyyy we're almost at the end of Fiddtober. I luckily finished everything last minute before the month ends lolll. Fiddtober Day 19-31. Also,i merged Binary and Computer into one frame btw.

[lostrealities0]

Stan and Fiddleford would be mutuals on Tumblr

[vintage-fuzz]

Some McGucket Family/Emma-May & Fiddleford Headcanons!

- I do personally believe that Emma-May is also from Tennessee & that she probably grew up near Fiddleford & his family’s farm. This is primarily based on her name (with Dixon being a common surname throughout the US & Emma-May being an incredibly folksy sounding name) & the fact that she & Fiddleford seem to have gotten married very soon after Fidds graduated/left BMU, implying a preexisting relationship between them.

- I also like to think that perhaps she & Fiddleford attended school together, not university but grade/high school (if Fiddleford had an actual education prior to attending college) & that part of the reason she & Fidds are (presumably) so quick to marry is because he made a promise to marry her/got engaged to her before he left the state for BMU.

- This is more of a Fiddleford specific headcanon/thought but I think that he may have decided to attend BMU specifically because of a few factors. One of which being its affordability, possibly offering him a full-ride scholarship based on his grades/academic intelligence & another being its location. If Ford & Fidds are attending their first year of uni in the late 60s to early 70s & if BMU is located in the northeastern US, then it’s entirely possible that Fidds wanted to spend his young adulthood in a more socially/politically liberal area, especially if he’s a queer man, in order to explore his identity/not live in fear of being outed (this also works if you hc him as being a bit of a hippie too, finding himself through his newfound freedom away from home basically).

- As for the actual relationship & marriage between Emma-May & Fidds, I think it started off somewhat decently, at the very least, there was the impression of mutual love & attraction between them initially. I do think that, ultimately, Fiddleford saw her more as a friend at best, or, at worst, a means to an end (his beard). I think that Emma-May might have gradually realized that he wasn’t actually interested in her in the way that she had thought he was, potentially having to come to terms with her husband being a queer man. I do think that Fiddleford’s sexuality/ lack of attraction to her was one of the defining factors in their marriage souring prior to him losing his sanity (possibly coinciding with his general absence & his failure to provide a reliable source of income through his freelance computer business). (It is also entirely possible that there was a kind of lavender-marriage arrangement going on but there’s really no definite answer.)

- Regarding Tate, I personally believe that he was either an unintentional pregnancy or the result of Fiddleford & Emma-May feeling pressured into adhering to social conventions surrounding marriage, especially during the 70s with both of their families likely encouraging them to have children. I also like to think that Tate was conceived out of wedlock, forcing Fidds & Emma-May into a holding a shotgun wedding.

- Adding to their actual wedding, I like the idea of Ford having been present in some capacity & Emma-May having met him to some extent. Also, Fiddleford probably wanted for Ford to be his best man, to which, Ford likely would’ve accepted (unless his academics/research intervened).

- I do think that despite his less-than-ideal circumstances, Fiddleford genuinely wanted to be a good father to Tate. I also think that he never intended to hurt Emma-May the way he did, with him at least trying to make their relationship work while compromising his actual feelings. I feel like Fiddleford took to fatherhood well & was very supportive & affectionate towards Tate, hence why Tate stays with & cares for his father despite his extended absence throughout most of his life.

- When Fiddleford leaves for Gravity Falls, I think that he probably tries to call/keep in contact with his family, especially Tate, semi-regularly. After he creates the memory gun, however, his calls become less frequent & more brief until he simply stops calling completely once he abandons the project & dedicates himself to his cult. This extended absence culminates in Emma-May setting out to Gravity Falls in order to find him after potential months to years of silence.

- Also, when Fiddleford is away in Gravity Falls with Ford, I don’t think that he ever actually cheats on Emma-May. If Ford & Fidds ever did have anything, it was most likely during their time at BMU together. At this point, they’re at different places in their lives & have a professional relationship & friendship (although they may both harbor some lingering feelings, which they do not act upon). Also, I feel like Ford would be extremely hesitant to pursue such a relationship w/ Fidds knowing that he’s married & a father & because Ford is primarily focused on completing his portal project & continuing his research. Fidds also doesn’t strike me as someone who would go out of his way to commit infidelity, he may be willing to be near Ford but he wouldn’t go as far as to betray his wife’s trust like that.

- When or if Emma-May heads to Gravity Falls in search of her husband, I’d like to think that she encountered Stanley, who, at this point has assumed Ford’s identity. She would most likely approach him first, at the shack, knowing that Fiddleford was working with Ford & that Ford was likely the last person to see him. Stan somehow has to diffuse this situation while pretending to be Ford & facing the brunt of her ire. (Not entirely sure how he’d pull that off…)

- Eventually, Emma-May does find Fiddleford (whether Tate is present is unclear) & it’s when he’s at his absolute worst. I imagine that he’s either well within the throes of his role as a cult leader & has visibly changed, becoming seriously unstable, possibly lashing out at her, & even going as far as attempting to erase her memory. The alternative is that he’s just left/been ousted from the cult & is mentally beyond repair & either living at a cheap motel or at the dump. Whichever the case, Emma-May seeing him so unwell ultimately culminates in her decision to file for divorce.

- After the divorce, which escalates to Fiddleford’s attempt to enact vengeance on his ex-wife through building a giant, homicidal robot to harass her, I think that she returns to Palo Alto & tries to move on in her life, resuming caring for Tate & possibly getting a job to support him & herself. Meanwhile, she keeps her distance from Fiddleford, not speaking to him for years.

- When Tate gets older he makes the decision to head to Gravity Falls in order to find his father, hoping for closure & generally worrying for his health/safety. Perhaps Emma-May & Tate are somewhat emotionally distant/ have a strained relationship which could’ve prompted him to reach out to his father (side note but I also have a small headcanon that Tate could be a queer man himself & his decision to stay with Fiddleford stemming from him being the only person in his family that would be accepting towards/ understand him or Tate having an idea that his father may have been queer himself).

- After the events of the series, perhaps Tate reaches out to his mother (with the assumption that she’d still be alive & that Tate would still have a relationship with her) to inform her about his father’s improved condition, newfound success & Ford’s sudden reemergence, perhaps he tries to mediate between his parents while encouraging them to, at the very minimum, open up to each other & allow for his father & Ford to properly apologize to Emma-May for the grief they’ve caused her over the past few decades. Perhaps Emma-May has completely moved on in her life, maybe she’s remarried & has her own successful career, perhaps she’s moved away from Palo Alto. Whatever the case, she’s should at least be afforded closure & honesty from her ex & the man that inadvertently destroyed their marriage.

[nowimjustastranger]

Okay extremely hurt/ansyty stanleys???

Illl take that as a challenge btww ifmy spelling is a bit off it’s because im sick rn and depending on autocorrect 👍

Okay au where Stanleyjdhe and Ford were seprersted as kids because Caryn gets an opportunity to leave Filbrick and take the kids with her. However unfortunately Filbrick got to still keep Stanley.

Stanley as kid, doesn’t really have many friends because he “too much personality”. He kinda feels like one half of a whole, and life with an angry Filbrick isn’t much better. Because he did not take the divorce well.

Stabley is forced to sit outside the shop with the “$5 for a Stan” sign. When a strange man who smells of rot takes Stanley off of Filbricks hands.

The man is apparently the leader of a cult called thr Cipherologists. This is where Stanley meets Ford who looks identically like him. Apparently Ford and Shermie were abducted from their mother.

There’s a prophecy with the Stan twins.

“One will release the beast, and the other will kill it”

The cipherologists obviously want to kill the kid who will kill their overlord and master Bill Cipher.

But don’t know which kid to kill. Especially because once the Stan twins learned of the propecfuclly they decided to do what they call the “Twin routine” where they act inddistuigshable from eachother to prevent the Cipherologists from killing one of them.

Whixh teaches the kids at a young age, they can’t act as two different people because individuality is dangerous. However that doesn’t stop the kids for wanting to be themselves and not act as one person.

There is one person who can tell the difference between the two of them and that’s Shermie.

Stanley is takes up lying and acting on the fly naturally, while Ford makes a whole chart on how they should and shouldn’t act.

The twons end up escaping but not without casualties, Shermie gets left behind. But with this traumatic incident, they aren’t able to get over it .

Ford longs to be himself, to not have play damage control for whenever Stanley does something on the fly with their identity’s. But the two feel safe pretending to be one person. Even if it slowly sparking resentment in the background.

And something like the perptursl motion icident happens but something much worse.

If the timeline is in a downward spiral, Ford would step in before Stan's life was ever actually in jeopardy. So, with that said, in this situation Ford would straight up get to Stan before the man who smelled of rot ever could, buying him from Filbrick and whisking him away to one of his bases in a different dimension.

The fact that a cult worshipping Bill was involved would make Ford twitchy and paranoid, but he wouldn't just leave the twins to their grim fate. Honestly, he'd probably freak Stan out with how spastic he was due to sleep deprivation and fear that he would encounter Bill.

The next hurdle would be getting Ford from the cult, which Ford 419"3 would accomplish by barging in in order to get them all in one place. He'd snatch Ford and sedate him for his own safety before using the modified memory gun to kill the cult members by making them forget literally everything, from their name to how to breathe.

The final step would be reuniting the brothers, letting them get accustomed to each other's presence under his watchful eye before he relocates them to their dimension and having them raised under the McGucket's care (idk where Caryn is at this point, but if the cult had Ford than she's probably dead right?). Ford would alter all their memories to make it seem like the twins had been adopted by them as toddlers.

Ford would also leave a sizable chuck of money for Fiddleford, Ford, and Stan, putting it into separate accounts that they would be able to freely access once they turn eighteen. Ford would also set up a monthly deposit to help the McGucket's feed and clothe the two extra kids they now had due to Ford.

Basically, Ford would act as a sponsor for Stanford, Stan, and Fiddleford until the twins were adults (since Fiddleford is older then them and would get access to his account first), which is when the McGucket's would get one final deposit to help them live out the rest of their lives in comfort.

[zephrunsimperium]

Fic Recs!

Here's a list of my top five Gravity Falls fan fiction recommendations!

Jersey Boy (incomplete, infrequent updates) Ford-Centric, FiddAuthor, Teen & Up Audiences Summary: Jersey Boy takes place in 1969 and follows 18-year-old Stanford Pines, fresh out of high school with a hole in his heart that a twin brother used to fill. The story mostly deals with depression, the repercussions of abuse/trauma, and internalized homophobia, following Ford as he navigates falling in love with his roommate - Fiddleford McGucket, engineering major and anti-war hippie - under the shadow of the Vietnam War and a world riddled with anti-semitism and homophobia. Thoughts: Without a shred of exaggeration, the most beautiful, thought provoking writing I have ever come across. This fic changed my life and revolutionized my perspective on writing as a medium; an absolute must-read.

If You Love Me, Come Clean (complete) FiddAuthor, Mature Summary: A thorough overview of Ford and Fidds’ relationship from college to post-weirdmageddon. Thoughts: I totally consider this fic canon. It made me sob and I stayed up until 4 AM to finish it.

Sacrifice of Stanford Pines (complete) Stan Twins, Fiddleford, Bill, Teen & Up Audiences Summary: When Stan doesn’t answer the postcard, Ford must go to New Mexico to visit his twin himself. Thoughts: One of the very first fics I read and still one of my favorites. Just a darn good time.

Knowing Me, Knowing You (incomplete, infrequent updates) BillFord, Fiddleford, Mature Summary: Instead of inviting Fiddleford to help work on the portal, Ford builds a body for Bill and the demon is not so happy to be stuck under the confines of mortality. Rom-Com hijinks between the man and his muse ensue. Thoughts: This fic is absurdly long, but reading it was a delight; it had me laughing like crazy. It’s written and organized incredibly well with a refreshingly nuanced take on BillFord. The characterization of Bill is particularly amazing because he’s definitely a complete person, but he’s very clearly inhuman. All of Bill’s underlings have individual personalities and the sci-fi elements are out of this world.

O Brother (incomplete, currently updating) Stan Twins, Fiddleford, Teen & Up Audiences Summary: The young twins go forward in time to meet their opposite brother in 1982. Bill is a jerk, Fiddleford is an absolute mom to little Stanley, and Stan is Actually The Cutest as a 12 year old and a 30 year old. Thoughts: Some of the most genuine Stan twins cuteness I have ever seen. I’m just a sucker for the li’l kiddos.

[damnghouligans]

I find we don’t give McGucket his flowers often enough and I’m a little tired of us pretending young McGucket isn’t super fuckable and absolutely husband material.

Mind you, this is all coming from a lesbian’s perspective, so I might be missing something…. But idk I don’t think I am:

He’s objectively cute

He’s tall

He grew up on a farm so that twink’s got a SURPRISING amount of functional strength no one would clock onto

He makes a bunch of really thoughtful handmade presents, so you KNOW he’s a great listener

Mans is an electrical AND mechanical engineer, which is SO much clout if you’re trying to impress your family

He basically follows Ford around like a mother hen the whole time, so I don’t think you’d have to TELL him to pick up around the house or anything like that.

** this likely also means he’d be good at taking care of you when you’re sick

Because he’s super handy you’re never gonna have to pay to get your shit repaired. Mans can fix your car and replace your oil AND make it into a fucking transformer if you ask

If you’re into the sciences, I feel like Fiddleford would be easier to talk to than Ford. Like, he’d explain shit in a way that makes sense for the rest of us plebs.

Southern accents are cute

I think the obvious cons are that the man is clearly in love with Ford in the narrative but like fuck it that’s never stopped a fandom before…..

Is it all the random southernisms like having to like bluegrass and being fine with chewing tobacco and spit buckets??? Or it is because he’s not fuckable when he’s an old man with a raccoon wife???? He’s a fucking McMillionare now so he could become hot again if he wanted to 🤷🏽

I need someone who actually LIKES men to answer this one for me: why no simping for young man mcgucket???

[cbmagus49]

Sunday sketch time ^^

...Y'know, now that I think about it, I think this might actually be the first time I've drawn Old Man McGucket?? Like I've drawn Fiddleford a bunch by now, but it's always been young Fidds, not his usual 'crazy old kook' self. That feels weird :|

[thornfield13713]

97 + 12 Fiddlestan

Okay!

So, I'm going to hew pretty close to the canon setting for this one, because...I like it. So, where are they travelling from? Or to? I lean towards this being a Weirdmageddon thing - the plan fails, and Bill is victorious, and decides to mark his victory by scattering the consciousnesses of his victims across time...thereby inadvertently sowing the seeds of his own destruction, but...that is the way it tends to go.

So, the mind that ends up farthest back is Ford Pines, who wakes up in his bed at Backupsmore with the memories of the apocalypse fresh in his mind. The first thing he wants to do is call his brother, whom he last saw being horrifically ripped apart molecule by molecule in front of him before Ford met the same fate. It takes him fully half an hour to remember...right. Cellphones haven't been invented yet. And he has no idea where Stan is or what he could be doing. Nor does he have the resources to go looking. He can work to avert the apocalypse - he'll work hard, go back to Gravity Falls, and this time he'll know better than to play into Bill's hands, might even be able to find some way to put an end to that infuriating triangle-man for good. He has to go back to Gravity Falls, because if it's not him, Bill will find some other sucker, and they won't know what Ford does. They won't be able to handle the situation as well as Ford could. He doesn't need to find his brother to save the world.

But. He can't stop thinking about it anyway. About how Stanley looked when he arrived at the sh- at Ford's house. About the hints let slip, years later, about what his life before that had been like. About Stanley spending thirty years working to bring Ford home and - all right, succeeding at the worst possible moment, but...looking back now, with the perspective of having lost his brother horrifically before they could make any sort of real amends...that was a lot of work. So, he goes looking, as best he can. He might save up for a private detective or similar, because the 1970s were kind of short on means to track people down, and Ford is really feeling the loss of the internet he had been starting to get used to in the 2010s.

He doesn't get the money together until he's in post-grad, and even then, it takes a while, particularly as Stan keeps changing addresses and adopting new identities. Eventually, though, Ford finds him. In prison in Texas, okay, but...alive. He has to go in person, citing a family emergency and skipping out in the middle of term-time, to visit, and the look on Stan's face on the other side of the glass is enough to tell Ford that...he's alone here. This is the Stan of this time, hungry and desperate and not quite believing what he sees and god, he's so young, how did Ford never process how young he was when he got kicked out before? They talk, anyway. Ford tells Stan what he's been doing, hears a...very much censored and played for laughs version of Stan's own recent years...and then Ford leaves, with a promise to come back in a month or so, the next time he can get away from his studies. Stan, who had been planning a jailbreak, ends up serving out his whole sentence just for those regular visits, patching up his relationship with his brother slowly, awkwardly, and with not a few backslides and difficult moments, but steadily. His sentence finishes out not long after Ford gets his research grant, and when that happens, Ford invites him to Gravity Falls.

And all of the above is just background, because the story actually starts here: Stan Pines, waking up in bed in Gravity Falls, more than thirty years before he remembers getting killed by Bill, with the memories of those thirty years still clear in his head. And, the same morning, Fiddleford McGucket turning up at Ford's door, having driven straight from Tennessee to try and stop Ford from summoning Bill.

Neither Stan nor Fidds trusts Ford on his word that he has no intention of trying any such thing this time, he's just living in Gravity Falls, trying to learn everything he can and avoid making the worst of his past mistakes again. And also trying to head off Bill using some other poor schmuck to do the same thing. Which means they're all three living in the Shack together, watching each other just to be sure. It's the wreck of Fidds' marriage, but...that barely feels real to him now. His wife left him decades ago, and- Okay, most of the physiological reasons for his mental decline aren't there now, but...that was only ever half the story. He feels fundamentally cut off from other people. So does Stan, thirty years older than he looks, knowing so much more about the people of Gravity Falls than he can reasonably explain. And neither of them is- they know, logically, that things have been better this time around, but- neither of them is quite willing to open up to Ford yet (though this does get better over time) so they gravitate to one another instead - the only people who can really understand their experiences.

Not really sure how things evolve from here - probably a loose monster-of-the-week format with relationship-building around the sides - but Bill is still out there, and may reach out to this little group. And, when that doesn't work, he's liable to take an interest in just what it is that's making these humans so unusually resistant to his pitch routine.

[e350tb]

Gravity Falls - The Matchmabel - Chapter V

Chapter V: Strangeshrooms by Starlight

“We now return to the hit 1996 film Olympic, starring Raphael DeCaprisun and Kate Winslow!”

“ICEBURG, A LITTLE WAY TO STARBOARD!”

“So it is. Thank you Lookout.”

“I don’t get the point of this movie.”

Stan and Melody sat in front of the TV. The sun had gone down a while ago, and the room was lit only by the glow of the television.

“It’s about the romance of ocean liners in the 1910s,” said Melody.

“But… but why would you set it on a voyage where nothing goes wrong?” asked Stan. “The whole movie’s only ninety minutes!”

He took a sip from his cola.

“No wonder it bombed against Titanic.”

There was a slam as the front door opened, and soon Mabel and Soos entered the room.

“Did you do it?” asked Soos.

“Yeah, yeah, sure, I consigned it to the fire,” replied Stan.

“Good,” nodded Mabel, sitting down. “Candy’s delivered a note I wrote to Pacifica, so we’re all set for tomorrow.”

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” asked Melody. “I mean, I like matchmaking as much as the next person, but wouldn’t it be better to just let Dipper and Pacifica get together naturally?”

“Have you seen Dipper?” replied Mabel. “If we let him wait until he’s ready to confess to Paz, it’ll take years!”

“I’m with Mabel on this one,” added Stan. “I don’t think that kid’s ever been on a date. At least, not since that road trip back in 2012.”

“And that was only because Stan put him up to it,” added Mabel.

“I was stuck in a maze at the time,” said Soos.

“Does… he need to go on one?” Melody tilted her head.

“Dating is a formative part of a young boy’s life, Melody,” said Stan. “Especially dating rich people. Then you can mooch off ‘em.”

“I don’t know,” said Soos. “I mean, I never dated until I met Melody. And to be honest, Mr. Pines, your love life has been kind of… not good?”

Stan narrowed his eyes at Soos.

“Soos, go to your room.”

“But… I own the house.”

“Look, I’ve seen Dipper at home in California.” Mabel waved her arms to emphasise her point. “He’s actually been asked on dates - only twice in five years, but still! And he said no to both of them! I mean, I did pay both of them to ask him out but that’s not the point! And seeing that box out makes me think he’s still hanging on for Wendy, and he needs to get past that!”

She wrapped her hands around her knees.

“Dipper’s been going through a lot lately,” she said. “And I just want to give him something to be happy about.”

Stan raised his brow.

“Is this something I should know about?” he asked.

Mabel looked away.

“Besides,” she added. “Wouldn’t it be nice to have Pacifica in the family?”

Melody and Soos exchanged looks.

“Well, I guess one date can’t hurt,” replied Melody. “But why not just wait until they meet up on Saturday?”

“Because it needs to be a big romantic gesture!” exclaimed Mabel, jumping to her feet. “You can’t just wake up one day and decide you’re in love!”

“Sure you can,” said Melody.

“No! I’ve been planning this for years, and… argh! You just don’t get it!”

She marched up the stairs, shaking her head. Stan, Soos and Melody exchanged glances.

“Did she just say she’s been planning this for years?” asked Soos.

“It’s Mabel, she probably has a plan for me hooking up with Old Man McGucket,” Stan shrugged.

“I HAVE THREE PLANS FOR THAT!” Mabel called down the stairs.

-----

Ford drew the marshmallow back from the campfire, taking a bite from it.

“Do you know,” he said, “there’s a dimension made entirely out of marshmallows. Marshmallow White House, marshmallow Everest, even marshmallow Wright Brothers.”

He frowned as he gazed into the fire.

“They flew too close to the sun,” he said gravely.

“So there’s, like, infinite versions of us out there?” asked Wendy.

“Yes,” replied Ford. “The idea drove more than a few dimensional travellers mad. Others became nihilists, convinced that nothing in the universe mattered. A friend of mine created an authoritarian society consisting of nothing but variants of himself - I meant to check on him, but his entire dimension became inaccessible after a few years.”

He finished the marshmallow.

“He lost track of what was important,” he said. “Sure, it’s easy to think you don’t matter when there’s an infinite number of yourself - but all the same, there’s only one you.”

“So, there’s a infinite number of Mabels, but I only have one twin sister?” suggested Dipper.

“Precisely so,” replied Ford. “Friends, family - the difference between he and I was that he viewed them as entirely replaceable. Me? Never.”

He tossed his charred stick aside.

“But I didn’t bring you both out here to contemplate infinity,” he said. “Let’s try some of these bad boys! …is that what the kids say? Bad boys?”

“Well, you’ve got the spirit,” replied Wendy, smirking.

Ford chuckled and pulled a sack of strangeshrooms over, taking a notepad out of his jacket. He’d already written the effects of the ones he’d tasted in the field, and now he rifled through the bag for ones he had not tried.

“Alright, here’s a pair I was looking at earlier,” he said, pulling out a small green one and a tall, thin pink one. “Remember, lick, don’t bite.”

He handed the green one to Wendy and the blue one to Dipper.

“Alright,” mused Dipper, “here goes…”

He closed his eyes and licked the strangeshroom. It tasted a little bit like cinnamon, but he didn’t feel any different.

“Eh bien, je ne me sens pas différent…”

Wendy snorted as Ford raised his eyebrows.

“Quoi?” quizzed Dipper, “Qu'est ce qu'il y a de si drôle?”

“Dude, is that French?” asked Wendy.

“It must be a member of the Babel family!” exclaimed Ford.

Dipper tilted his head.

“Pourquoi parles-tu anglais?”

Ford cleared his throat.

“Dipper, tu ne te souviens pas?” he asked. “Vous êtes anglophone!”

“Dipper? Je m'appelle Maison! Et nous avons toujours spoken French, that’s - what the heck was that?”

Dipper gazed at the mushroom, eyes wide.

“Whoa!” he exclaimed. “For a second there, I was convinced I was French!”

“A particularly powerful Babel Strangeshroom, then!” exclaimed Ford, writing frantically in his notebook.

“And dangerous,” added Wendy. “Who wants to be French?”

“There are an infinite amount of French Wendys,” said Ford mischievously.

“Ugh! I don’t even wanna think about that!”

She lifted up her own strangeshroom.

“Well, here goes nothing…”

She licked the strangeshroom. This one tasted a little sour.

“How’s it feeeeeeeeeee…”

Like a record slowing to a stop, Dipper and Ford gradually halted.

Wendy glanced around. The breeze, the rustling of the branches, even the flames of the fire had stopped - no, they were moving, just incredibly slowly. She ran her hand in front of her face - it left a blurry imprint behind it.

“Aw, sweet,” she said. “Superspeed.”

She got up, walking around the fire and leaving a blur behind her. She reached Ford, picked the pencil out of his hand and turned it around, so that now the eraser faced the paper. She then stepped over to Dipper, lifted his hat off his head and left it hovering in the air above him. Then she sat back down in her original spot and waited.

“...eeeeeeellllll, Wen-oof!”

Dipper’s hat fell back onto his head, while Ford lifted up his pencil in confusion.

“I’m guessing either time compression or superspeed?” he asked.

“Something like that,” replied Wendy. “Neither of you were moved for a whole minute.”

“Fascinating,” mused Ford. “This could be useful if we’re ever faced with another apocalyptic situation.”

He turned his pen around and scribbled some more notes, before grabbing another pair from the bag.

“These two look like the same species,” he said, holding up two fat, silver mushrooms. “We’ll need to see if they have the same effect. Dipper?”

He tossed one to him.

“Well,” Dipper shrugged. “Here goes!”

They both licked their strangeshroom. As they did so, Wendy blinked - then she let out a loud snort.

“What?” Ford tilted her head, her voice notably lighter.

“Dang, Ford!” exclaimed Wendy. “You’re really rocking that foxy grandma look!”

Ford looked down at herself and blushed, running a hand through her longer hair.

“Hmm,” she mused. “This one could have medicinal properties…”

Next to her, Dipper cupped her hands over her face as she looked down at herself.

“Oh,” she said. “This is… this is weird.”

“Not a bad look, Dip!” said Wendy, chuckling.

“Oh man, I sound almost like Mabel.” Dipper clutched her head. “Wait, voices sound different in your own head - is this what Mabel hears when she talks?”

Wendy blinked, and Ford and Dipper were back to normal.

“Well, that was interesting,” said Ford, grabbing his notepad.

“Save that one, I wanna try it later,” said Wendy.

Dipper rubbed his temples. “You’re welcome to it,” he muttered.

“I tried this one earlier, but it didn’t work,” said Ford, pulling out a three-headed strangeshroom - one green, one pink and one blue. “Perhaps each head needs to be activated. I’ll pass it around.”

He licked the green head and then passed it to Dipper. Dipper swallowed, then licked the blue one. He handed it to Wendy, who licked the pink one.

There was a burst of energy, and all three flew backwards, landing beside a stream a few dozen metres from the campsite. Wendy pulled herself up, rubbing her head.

“Was it a bomb?” she asked. “Wait, why’s my voice echoing?”

The three got up and looked at their reflections in the stream. All were glowing - Ford’s hair and eyes were green, Dipper’s were blue and Wendy’s were red. They all hovered a little bit off the ground.

“Uhh… okay,” said Dipper.

“I feel like this has been done,” said Ford flatly.

-----

Several hours later, Dipper sat by the dying embers of the fire. Wendy and Ford had both drifted off to sleep in their sleeping bags, but nagging thoughts were keeping Dipper awake, and they simply would not leave him alone.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out the college questionnaire.

“What I want out of college is…” he whispered to himself.

He sighed and fell onto his back, looking up at the stars.

“The boy’s got a prodigious mind, Mrs. Pines, but he wastes it thinking about werewolves and vampires and… and gremobolins! He needs direction!”

“I’m putting my foot down, Mason. Either you promise me you’ll finish this college application, or you don’t go to Gravity Falls.”

“Your mother’s right, Dipper. You can’t live in this fantasy world forever…”

In the night sky above him, he could see the Big Dipper. For a brief moment before he drifted away, he wished he was up there.

[callipraxia]

1) The scene where the hands start sneaking up and then swarm? Legitimately creepy, Stan, well-done.

2) Ah, first instance of the phrase of “crippling loneliness.”

3) So, “Abaconings.” It’s true that Stan seems to equate himself with Mabel, but I think it’s a bit of an over-simplification to say he equates Dipper with Ford. If anything, he seems to want to equate Waddles with Ford…except for how Ford’s superintelligence is innate, not some new factor which appeared from nowhere. Dipper, if anything, more closely approaches the role of the principal. Stan, hon…obviously complicated feelings about your family are especially obvious here.

4) “coping with crippling loneliness.”

5) why do I have the feeling Stan enjoyed making the Ford stand-in the source of similar forms of slapstick and surreal humor (“my pig arms are cute and useless!” “And many potatoes! Yummy, yummy, in my little pig tummy!“) as the ones he’d made himself the object of in the previous story? Do even I think it’s going a bit far to read an attempt to put them on equal footing into this, when it’s far more likely Stan is just amused by the image of a talking pig with a rocket scooter and riffing on that idea? I…might actually think that, more (probably not really) at 11.

6) I did just notice for the first time, though…Stan’s knowledge of the hand witch and the jokes about her interspersing mystical-sounding pronouncements with attempts to date him implies he read most of the visible portions of Journal 3, not just the ones with the Portal diagrams on them. We know that at least some pages with reference to “F” survived whatever Bill did to the book just before Ford buried it. This means Stan knows that Ford actually made a friend outside the family (something Stan never seems to have managed, unless you count Soos, and Bill-in-Stan’s-brain, at least, implies that Stan on some level counts Soos in with family). I doubt he has a clue that the friend in question is crazy Old Man McGucket, but he knows there was some other “dumb smart guy” whose company Ford at least sometimes enjoyed. Therefore, I…think he might have just unknowingly cast Dipper in the role of the younger F.H. McGucket.

7) While Mabel doesn’t express direct hostility toward Dipper-as-McGucket, it does seem clear she regards Dipper as actively stealing her best friend from her. So hey, background to why Stan was specifically passive-aggressive and irritated with Ford after Ford (somehow - I’d have never guessed young and old McGucket were the same man until I’d heard them talk) recognized and was conciliatory toward Fiddleford in the Fearamid. Though the fact Ford apparently expressed interest about what had happened to Fiddleford in the past thirty years in a context where “everyone” immediately made efforts to change the subject probably didn’t help, if we assume Stan was part of “everyone.” No evidence for or against the idea that he was, but Ford never wondered aloud what had happened to him after their falling out, did he? And now here’s this guy, who bailed when things got tough and apparently never looked back until the world freakin’ ended and he had no better options than raiding Stan’s apocalypse supplies. He didn’t work thirty years to fix that weirdo contraption in the basement, did he? He didn’t even pay off the ——ing mortgage! Or the taxes! Well, some of the taxes, anyway….whatever couldn’t be gotten out of without risking losing the house….

8) “Clay Day” took me a long time to find associations for, but I think I did! The words “crippling loneliness” don’t recur, but the whole episode is about the theme of imprisonment, isolation, paralysis, suffocation, etc. The only thing is, this time, Mabel is able to single-handedly rescue everyone - or, in other words, Stan rejects the moral of the previous story that he wandered into: Mabel previously sorted out her problem by communication, telling Waddles about her feelings and asking outright for what she wanted….

And one more thing. There’s that bizarre moment at the very end, when Soos unexpectedly turns into clay and Stan decapitates him before assuring the twins that “we’re safe now.” This is a thing I actually had noticed before: see, another theme of the episode, or perhaps just an extra aspect of the first, is that of transformation and control. Stan wants to control events and to an extent people, including literally bending the very fabric of reality to get the outcomes (Ford back, the relationship they had as children, no matter how unrealistic that would be after even half of what either of them has been through in the last forty-five to fifty years, back, to be recognized for an accomplishment and as the good guy in the story) he desires. Between the ability to flip Waddles’ intellect on and off like a switch in “Abaconings” and Mabel’s ability to literally reshape an opponent into an ally, there’s a feeling that…well, it could be taken a few ways. Subconsciously, though, he may well wish he could as easily remodel someone (be that Ford or the twins or himself) into a “safer” version - either himself into someone his family would want to have around or, if one chooses to take a much darker potential angle, his family into people who won’t want to leave him….

And then there’s Gumby Soos…who is not remodeled but obliterated at the end in the service of Stan’s primary objective in the story. It’s not Soos’ fault that he got turned to clay. He initially seemed to have escaped as well as anyone else did. Ultimately, however…Stan probably remembered the Zombie Soos incident in “Scaryoke,” where through no fault of his own Soos had become a problem, when he made up that bit of “Clay Day.”

Do I think Stan was consciously trying to convince himself that he could kill Soos in real life if Soos interfered with his mission? Not in so many words, no - but I don’t think it’s impossible that he would have resorted to some level of violence had he deemed it necessary, and I do think he was prepared to sacrifice that relationship if need be. Soos had been unswervingly loyal to him for ten years. He’d practically half-raised the boy. Soos’ devotion ran to the point that it occasionally disturbed him, but the relationship isn’t entirely one-sided: we see, not frequently but repeatedly, that Stan appears to trust Soos far, far more than he does anyone else, which is impressive, considering how many secrets Stan had and how generally jaded his adult life had left him. Soos appears to participate in Pines family movie nights off the clock, for goodness’ sake. However…to quote the man himself, he knew that if he succeeded in retrieving Ford, then the tiny number of people he’d developed any level or relationship with while Ford was away were “gonna hear some bad things about me, and some of them are true,” and even at his most blindly self-deluding, Stan had to know that there was no predicting how they would take that information. He’d promised Dipper there were no more bombshells. He’d fostered this illusion that he to some extent trustee Soos with his secrets, including ones the twins were not meant to be privy to, while keeping some extremely big ones still hidden - Soos missed work once in ten years, and in all that time, he never really knew the man he thought of as a father at all. Forget never knowing his history, or what he was capable of - he never knew Stan’s name. The foundations of Soos’ world were going to shake worse than the town did during the gravitational anomalies - who could know how well they would settle again?

But to quote the man himself again… “I don’t care how dangerous it is.” “I’ve come too far.” “Nothing was going to get in the way of my mission.” Including, quite possibly, everyone else he cared about at all.

9) the ending is interesting. It isn’t canon, but it nevertheless shows us Stan being extremely ruthless - something underlining that notion of the extremism of his dedication to his goals. Once Stan commits, that’s it: it will happen, or he’ll die trying to make it happen, or both. I think that served multiple purposes on a writing level:

a) In S2, we see Stan being somewhat nicer than in S1, at least to his family. We’re lulled into seeing him, to an extent, the way they do: rough-edged to the point of abrasiveness, with a slightly strange, slightly alien view on morality, but it’s not much of a struggle to understand why they love him. Here, just before we kick off that final arc where it looks like his machine may be malicious, the author manages to remind us a bit that Stan is, after all, someone who has repeatedly shown a reckless disregard for human safety when it interferes with his objectives (ex., “The Time-Traveler’s Pig,” where he prioritizes profit over the safety of the Mystery Carnival to the point that a ride with Dipper in it apparently goes to pieces violently enough that Dipper enters the scene from above, flying in a detached compartment; any of the many times he engages in aggressively dangerous driving). This theme is built up a little (here’s another new thought!) in “Love God,” where Stan appears in earnest about trying to shoot a hot air balloon early in the episode and where an image of him, distorted but still recognizable, appears as a fiery hazard descending on civilians, like some kind of cannibalistic monster from Hell. The writers also, however, do something very, very clever in both of these incidents: they put them in contexts where, the first time we see them, it’s incredibly easy to laugh them off. “Little Gift Shop of Horrors” isn’t canon, as Dipper and Mabel‘s casual reaction to the idea of a stranded motorist being glued into an exhibit helps emphasize; the episode has no consequences, so we can take it as just a distortion of Stan’s avarice written for the sake of a joke, not an event that we should consider in our evaluation of the character. As for “Love God,” the Stan subplot is pretty minimal; for the most part, it’s another very lightweight episode, focused on the social dynamics of the teenaged characters almost separate from the supernatural; the plot would remain intact if we clipped out “Love God” altogether. Just another moment where the writers went juuuuussst a little past what is in character for the sake of the joke - right? This is, after all, Stan we’re talking about: Stan, who went Captain Ahab on a pterodactyl to save Mabel’s pet. Stan, who, in his own, admittedly ineffective way, ultimately does care about Dipper, and gives him the pointer that allows the Mystery Crew to put up a fight against Bill. Who, when he was down to his last scrap of money, prioritized the twins’ well-being, and who ended up providing the information that put a dangerous and completely, by the end of the season, unhinged stalker who tried to outright murder Dipper into a high-security prison, protecting the twins from further attacks and harassment from said stalker. Who plowed through zombies with a baseball bat and ultimately his own fists to prevent Dipper and Mabel’s brains from being eaten - who supported Mabel in both of the first two mini-arcs of “The Golf War” - gives Pacifica, who he’d earlier expressed a desire to hit, a ride home instead of abandoning her in the rain - and so on and so forth. Stan’s a little intense about his money, sure, and he’s got a temper, but ultimately he usually does more or less the right thing. And he’s funny - we enjoy his antics all the time - and, just under the surface, shown occasionally to be quite emotionally vulnerable: in the first two episodes alone, he makes an awkward but sincere enough effort to cheer the twins up when they are down, and he is shown to be very lonely and capable of badly hurt feelings. Really he just runs his mouth; we know he has some lingering secrets, courtesy of the lab scenes and the crossed fingers at the end of “Scaryoke,” but this is a relatively lighthearted show and he’s basically all right. So no point in pulling a Callipraxia and over-analyzing the text to death and back; indeed, between ourselves, I’ve reason to know that Calli didn’t think a thing about these incidents during her first watch of the show. We trust Stan. We even kinda like him.

And then comes “Not What He Seems.” Then comes the government, saying that he is planning a mass casualty event…but hey, those guys are dumb as rocks, right? We just saw them arguing in a closet while playing dress-up last episode, and in their first appearance, Powers went straight from “that’s classified” to “let me tell this twelve-year-old about it” while Trigger appeared barely capable of dialogue beyond echoing key words from Powers’ sentences. But then they have a lot of evidence. And then we hear Trigger, when trapped in the SUV, actually speak intelligently. And then the buildings start lifting off the ground…all about the time that we learn Stan did steal toxic waste, seconds before we are presented with the idea that he might be a cold-blooded murderer who killed the real Stan Pines and stole his identity.

All of this in NWHS would, of course, have built on itself convincingly enough without the examples of Stan behaving unusually badly for a joke in a couple of prior episodes…but those images being in the back of our heads certainly doesn’t detract, and probably contributes to the first-time viewer’s experience of fear and tension during the episode’s climax. We’re just that little bit easier to convince when the time comes, to paraphrase the Axolotl from one of my own fics, due to having the idea suggested to us before, without our taking it a bit seriously.

and then (yes, that was all Point A - all that wall of text, which led me to find out that there’s a maximum paragraph length on tumblr apparently) we reach points b) foreshadowing, and c), the rewatch bonus.

10) I really have to write that essay about this episode sometime.

11) and also that AU where Bill makes a deal with Stan.

12) I had another point but I can’t remember it now and I want to at least start my doubtless also quite long comments on “Society of the Blind Eye” tonight. (Edited to add: it was either “don’t play the dark mirror game, that way lies madness” or “Abaconings is an even cleverer title than I thought - it sounds similar to both ‘awakenings,’ as in Waddles first becoming sentient and later having a revelation, and ‘abandoning,’ which is what Mabel feels has happened in the story and which Stan felt happened in the past.” Have ‘em both.)

Words barely serve to express how much I love this episode, y’all.

Plan: play GF season 2 while dozing for…subliminal inspiration or something.

Reality: start watching the episodes….

[cryptidjeepers]

perhaps a college ford and fiddleford?

i have such a weakness for these nerds

Send me drawing requests!

[localcanadiancreature62]

(In)sane man sunday. Amiright,fellas?.

[ifwebefriends]

Gravity Falls Rewatch: The Finale S2E21 Weirdmageddon 4: Somewhere in the Woods

Aw man series finale, it’s been a long road y’all

Love that recap Soos

Pacifica and Robbie could be good friends I think

Those tapestries remind me of A Link Between Worlds

How much did Alex have to fight to be able to say “suicide mission” here?

“You would have seen him for the scam artist he is” that’s actually a great point ngl

Finally! The metal plate in Ford’s head came back!

“Surprised you didn’t recognize it” yeah it was different before huh?

The pain in Ford’s eyes when he points the memory gun at Stanley I-

Stan’s character development arc ending here is just mwah

STANLEY BADASS MOMENTS STANLEY BEING THE BADDEST BITCH EVER MOMENTS STANLEY BEING UNAFRAID IN FRONT OF A LITERAL CHAOS DEMON MOMENTS

THAT PUNCH WAS FUCKING SICK BRO FR AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

HELL YEAH BILL GET FUCKED DIE AND GO TO HELL BITCH

Okay I think the Stan vs. Bill fight is my favorite scene in Gravity Falls it’s just so fucking epic and cool I love it

I’m kinda disappointed that the Zodiac didn’t play a larger role in defeating Bill but the way it played out is so satisfying I almost don’t mind

The frown on Ford’s face when he finished erasing Stan’s mind I :(

“You’re our hero, Stanley” BRO I 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Aww Stan not recognizing Soos must have hurt Soos a lot :(

Tourist Trapped apparently happened on the second day that Dipper and Mabel were in Gravity Falls

The old mayor showed up as a zombie!!

Robbie’s parents still being creepy!

“None of us really understand what just happened, and none of us want to.” Lmao true

Blubs and Durland ship confirmation wooooooo!

HELL YEAH FUCK THE NORTHWEST PARENTS AND THEY DUG THEIR OWN GRAVE!!!

“You’re only going to have one pony now” okay so I guess Pacifica likes ponies (was she an MLP fan?)

I kinda want to see a spin-off series about what McGucket is getting up to in the old Northwest mansion

“Town hero Stanley Pines” bro I- 🥺🥺🥺 okay

Bodacious T stuck!!! I’m actually happy for Toby!

So if the birthday party is on their actual birthday, then Dipper and Mabel’s final day in town is August 31st

Gideon is trying to be normal!! I’m happy for him!

“I have everything I wanted” DUDE

Pacifica is friends with them now!!!

Dipper and Mabel got some thoughtful gifts :)

Soos gets to run the Mystery Shack!!! I’m so happy for him!!!

Awww that empty attic room makes me sad

“Candy and Grenda, thank you for being my people” the callback to Double Dipper I-

Stan and Ford both saying “can it Soos” at the same time they’re getting along again!!!!!

Wendy and Dipper are still close friends!!!!!!!! I love that for them!!!

The twins and Stan understand each other!!!! Even with Stan’s weak attempt at an abrasive facade!!!!

“Ready to head into the unknown?” “Nope! Let’s do it” BRO BRO BRO AHHHHHHHHHHH

Before the twins came Stan didn’t have any family but now he has his brother back and a good relationship with the twins

I love how the first episode started with a Dipper narration and the last episode ends with a Dipper narration I am going feral

Melody is working with Soos at the Mystery Shack!!!!

Stan O’ War II!!!

COOL END CREDITS LETS GOOO

Dippers 3 and 4 hanging out!

Grenda and Marius hanging out together!!!

Dipper and Mabel live in Piedmont, CA

Amazing show, incredible show, outstanding show, love it love it love it, even more then when I was young