#youd be appalled

[moeblob]

Flit (ginger) finds an injured, stray cat and is like "aw poor little guy... let's see if my sister can help you" and so he takes the injured black cat to Fleet. Who is then "I have no idea how to heal a cat" and turns him into a human, heals him, and is ready to turn him back into a cat but then he's just "WAIT IF IM HUMAN I CAN HELP YOU! LEMME BE A HUMAN! I WANNA HELP YOU!" and Fleet looks to Flit who shrugs since it's hard being the only assistance to his sister. So he proceeds to name the guy Eureka and now Eureka refers to Flit as "master" and Fleet as "mistress".

And obsessively tries to help them. But he also talks a lot at times and Fleet gets frustrated and turns him back into a cat as punishment and he sulks off to cuddle next to Flit... who is unfortunately much more patient than Fleet so he's now just stuck with this cat-guy-hybrid obsessed with him. And he doesn't regret /helping/ the cat but .... Eureka is really clingy. So he's just resigned to having either a black cat in his lap or a man looming over him asking "whatcha doing, Master?" at all times.

[i-cant-sing]

Would himeko be on tiktok in first lady au?

And if yes, would she make her mom play those little ranking tiktok games?

Imagine her making a tiktok like: "my moms favorite celebs based on smashability"

Complete chaos

YES OMG 100000% LMAOOOOO like imagine First lady reader and Himiko just sitting in front of the camera, youre a little confused while Himiko is just suppressing her evil giggles and shes just explaining to you that you have to tilt your head towards the celebrity you like more. Himiko doesnt actually explain or even use the word "smash" because she knows youd be appalled.

The tiktok blows up, of course anything even remotely related to you does, but its actually Kai who storms in on you and Himiko FUMING because its not even the fact that you chose Henry Cavill over him, BUT ITS THE WAY YOU MADE A DISGUSTED FACE WHEN KAI'S FACE APPEARED ON SCREEN- AND HIMIKO MADE THE FACE TOO! And now its become a meme too- much like anything related to Kai does.

[bleep-bloop-boo]

hehehehe

Nico's ambrosia tastes like glowsticks

[pathetic-tboy]

me to my domme: ok so i found a nice little picnic place!!! sunday evening it should be pretty secluded. it doesnt get a tremendous amount of people. we should be pretty much by ourselves

her: secluded enough for me to fuck your face in the park?

me, acting shocked: whaaat?? nooooo totally not! i totally didnt emphasize that for that reason. no way!!! absolutely not and im appalled youd even suggest such a thing

[you-raggedy-bitch]

Hello, im making a presentation for my friends with funny/appalling fanfiction smut quotes but i need more content.

I am asking for submissions. The craziest shit youve read, if youd like add what website/app you were on when reading. Help a girl out. I will post the slides presentation to tumblr when I am done.

you can submit via comments or reblogs. I do ask that your submissions be in the actual text of the reblog and not the tags.

[uygfiug]

HI HELLO HELLO !!! i have to ask desperately have you seen conclave? and also what are your favourite movies?? i've appalled at least 5 people now with the abysmally small number of films ive seen and i trust you entirely for recs (if ud like??). <33

HI !!! unfortunately i have not :( ive been meaning to get to it though!

My favourites: But I'm a Cheerleader (1999, campy queer film, quite funny on occasion & very over the top), The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975, campy parody on pulpy horror! musical, tbh i cant tell if youd like this or not), Design for Living (1933, polyamorous romcom, <333)

Some films I also like:

Most films by Ernst Lubitsch, some I have seen & enjoyed are: To Be or Not to Be (anti-nazi comedy from 1942), Trouble in Paradise (about a pair of thieves who flirt by stealing from each other <3), The Shop Around the Corner (coworkers who dont get along at all are also penpals & fall in love via their letters) also!! he did design for living too <3 .

Both Knives Out films (especially the first). considering you like holmes, poirot,... you might enjoy these if you haven't seen them yet. which. i think i saw you mention them somewhere so. .

Bound (1996) parody on mafia films :) a femme fatale & handywoman decide to fuck over the mafia & steal a bunch of money from them. also quite over the top <3 theres some really gorgeous shots in there too! directed by the wachowski sisters (who did the matrix) .

Rear Window (1954) not the best Hitchcock film but it is my favourite :)) .

Hitchcock directed a bunch of films & a lot of them are quite good so. here's some more I have seen recently :) Psycho, Vertigo, Suspicion, The Trouble with Harry (comedy, about a corpse), North by Northwest, Rope, The Birds. most of these are thrillers .

if you're up for more surrealist films, that might not have a linear or comprehensible story id recommend David Lynch's films also! Eraserhead (1977) & Mulholland Drive (2001) are the only 2 i've seen so far but i loved them both !! .

if youre up for silent films i really like Das Cabinet des Dr. Caligari (1919) & The Cat and the Canary (1927, haunted house comedy horror) & Metropolis (1927). Any Chaplin film might be nice too? its been ages since i watched those but theyre all quite fun! Modern Times & The Kid i remember liking especially .

And then a few more really quick: Some Like it Hot, It Happened One Night (1934), Dracula (1931), Frankenstein (1931), All About Eve, Perfect Days (2023), Nimona (2023)

[windsail]

still only about halfwayish through the interview with Dora and Argo from 41st but it is truly insane how poorly they'd been treated in Zaum.

Got to the part yesterday about how Justin Keenan had essentially refused to talk to them directly for weeks despite being their lead, meeting Dora & Argo in NYC, having a seemingly heartfelt conversion with them only for him to immediately share everything with management and get them in trouble... like just appalling. And I believe Dora that he's also likely a victim of management's manipulation but I just really can't fully understand what was going on in his head. Like these are people youre supposed to be working with collaboratively, that youd supposedly been friends with. How do you not stop and question whats going on? I'd be interested to hear his side but I don't know how you can rationalize that sort of behavior. Just some really bleak shit. Slightly rambling post but maybe I'll try to write a more concise summarization of some parts of it later.

[silverblighted]

it wasn't the fact that you bought us pokemon cards after work sometimes, it was the fact you were so excited about them, too. i knew the sound of your car, every car you ever drove to work. i knew how the air would change at 5:20 every single day because i got to see you when you got home from work. sometimes you were a few minutes late, and i knew it was because there was traffic, or bad weather, but it was always 5:20 every other time, across any job you had, anywhere we had lived. 5:20.

i dont remember when pokemon yellow came out i just remember crawling into your lap at night with my bright yellow gameboy. after the news, or friends, or seinfeld. i remember thinking giovanni was the hardest boss in the entire world because of that stupid nidoqueen - we played for hours and hours, and sylph co was so hard to get around. when i woke up the next day you were so excited to tell me that you beat him! we beat him!

i remember being so appalled because you caught articuno with the masterball, but i also felt so loved because you wanted me to see what you had caught for me! Articuno! i was mad because it was for mew, but i couldn't be so mad because i felt so loved. how could i be mad, how could i care about stupid mew when my masterball now had articuno and you had caught it for me and you were so excited about it.

when the iron man movie came out, you were so excited to share it with me. your love of comics, your love of iron man, of tony stark... a man who i probably would hate if it wasn't for you. the feeling of love in me when it was over and when i had been given the gift of comics, the feeling of love when we sat through every single lord of the rings movie together, every marvel movie, every star wars movie, when you told me you loved the rocky horror picture show and i thought it was the craziest thing to think of - you, my big goofy dad who couldn't care less about queer shit(never in a bad way, you just... didn't care in the best possible way - people could do whatever they wanted and live whatever life they wanted and as long as they were't hurting anyone you loved it), loving the gayest movie of all time and actively participating in it - my DAD of all people. it made me feel so warm, it made me feel so seen by you.

i'll never forgive infinity war for letting thanos' 'love' of gamora be true because i couldn't understand that. a father who loved his daughter willing to throw her away for some stupid ideal because you showed me that love was better than that. that dads were better than that. that you were better than that in every way. you gave me all of the goofy stupid nerdy dorky weird parts of me. the stupid voices, the weird dances, the love of cats and all animals,... the deep dives into weird shit on the internet and randomly becoming expert about something. looking up at the sky and knowing there's something more, being horrified yet so in love with the stars and the depth of space. aliens are real. we have contact with them. the james webb telescope just posted a picture of neptune and i want to show you so bad. i know youd love it. i know youd love that stupid alien thats been all over reddit lately. i know you'd love the end of the loki show and i want so badly for you to see it. i want you to see it. i want to show everything i love to you because you showed everything you love to me.

i miss you so much every day. every day i am heartbroken over you. i cant believe i was ever mad about that stupid masterball.

[disassterwrites]

Black Coffee

in which miguel o'hara uses a local coffeshop as an escape from work and falls for the barista.

note: this will probably be multiple parts cause i'm living for soft miguel content rn!

part 1

When Lyla first suggested checking out a local coffeeshop, Miguel scoffed. What would be the point? He can get coffee at the canteen in HQ. Why leave the building just for coffee?

However, when Lyla threatened to alter the design of his suit (she mentioned turning off the projection completely), he finally agreed to visit the closest one.

When he arrived he was startled by how small it seemed, the doorway entered into a small hallway with dim lighting and small paintings on the wall. The door off of the hall led into a space filled with soft lighting, gentle music, and the strong smell of coffee.

Miguel, though typically appalled by being surrounded by strangers, found himself oddly comforted by the space. He remembered Lyla's insistance on his leaving HQ, even just for an hour, and made his way toward the counter.

"Could I get a small black coffee, please?"

You look up at the man across the counter, startled by his sudden approach. You had been carefully lining up a tray of cookies for the display case.

"Oh yes sir, of course," you said quickly, taking in his appearance. Occasionally, youd seen people who you found attectivre, but this was different.

He was tall, broad, and intimidating, but he seemed as distracted. As you prepared his coffee, you found yourself glancing over to him, seeing his hair fall into his fsce as he fidgeted with his watch.

"Here you are sir," you said passing him thr coffee, and turning the screen to the enter his payment. He did so, thanked you, and walked over to counter where he sat. You watched as he slipped a few sugars in his coffee before taking a sip.

Miguel was similarly finding himself aware of the barista, their hair framing their face perfectly. He found himself enjoying watching them work, their soft smiles to customers, their focused expression while preparing foods and their gentle eyes which occasionally landed on him. He was startled when he recieved a mesage from Lyla asking him to return to HQ, before he realized it had been an hour already, and all he had done was sip his coffee.

Miguel glanced at you once more before he rose and made his way out of the coffeeshop.

[wontgoup]

When they blew up the Chinese cemetery in Noble Park.

My brain was scattered and my nerves were alight. When someone was buried in with my dad, after he had committed domestic violence. It mightve been a performance. It mightve been my parents being themselves, both fighters. Against a monarchy that wanted their blood, first and foremost. Despite their faith.

I was appalled during both instances. But to pay for cremation versus a state owned plight that would eventually get dug out and be used as they decide to use it cos its not private. Youd expect a notification at least. Its a basic courtesy. Had that been provided i wouldve understood.

But blowing up a Chinese cemetery to prove a point of admonishing dominance by an irish catholic bastard. The youngest female mayor in all of aus let that happen. It is so incredibly rude. As it is, a clear political maneouvre to show a females strong arm, despite it demonstrating her own preferences.

Sometimes, in Asia, where youve got civil wars, being detonated by the same white families, not just starving oth er people. But killing them then stealing their stuff on top. Migration and cyber security become important but sometimes, when you are trying to quench the unrelenting strong arms of other leaders, decl a ring martial law but regulating it in a way that makes your state safe. It makes more sense, than just blowing up other peoples graves. Or declaring a war on drugs and killing numerous people, despite knowing the same people that start those civil wars are also the same ones declaring a war on drugs, while demanding human rights for the refugees they have to kill to run their civil wars and steal as much as they can, for themselves.

It becomes messy. But whose bribing who here? And who is simply running it all, after owning it all. From a distance, to therefore not be the one caught in other peoples poor performances. We have clear roles and being political is second to owning it all, up here.

Anne Michaels, from “Bison”

[bunabi]

I really wish young men could get helpful relationship advice online without being bombarded with manipulative ass pickup artist mfs who think being denied access to women’s bodies & time is inherently emasculating

there’s gotta be a better way than this 😩

[incorrecthomosexuals]

Sokka: When have I ever done anything stupid and irresponsible?

Zuko: I keep a list. It’s alphabetized.

[scenariosofkonoha]

I didn't see any Hashirama in the masterlist. :( Could you do some Hashirama political au headcanons? About him and how he interacts with s/o :)

Oh- there’s so much of this AU that’s been developed and mapped out, but my general following doesn’t know about yet- you all literally have no idea whatsoever; it’s ridiculous. (Like Shisui has a lil sis named Luna in this AU bc Kagami totally would have had a second child if he hadn’t been killed, ya know?) There is literally pages upon pages of just this AU and everything that goes with it; very detailed omg. Guilty pleasure, I guess? Anyway originally, I killed Hashirama off; you’ll see that in my very first set of headcanons for this AU, but maybe like two weeks ago, we decided to keep him alive, and turns out he is a very nice filler to this AU, so here we go.

Hashirama ran for president in a very, very pivotal time for the nation; they were coming straight out of a world war, so the future of the country was very open and could go many different ways depending on who became president and led this new era. That being said, this is the time where Hashirama is going up against Madara, and it is an extremely cutthroat race, because both politicians are very capable and qualified of the presidency, but they have two different stylings and plans for the nation, and it ends up being one of the closest races in history.

This is where that rivalry between the Senju and Uchiha deepened a bit more and became the rivalry that is known now. There was a lot of controversy over what direction each candidate was going to take, and whether or not the nation as a whole wanted to be known as that. This is the time where the public is very much like, “You either support the Senju or the Uchiha; you must pick.” There was almost no middle ground in this election at all. Now of course there had always been that rivalry between Hashi and Mads, but it’s really the public and the media that amplifies it, and makes it a lot harsher than it truly is- after the election it doesn’t get any better, the rift becomes greater honestly and that friendship that Hashirama and Madara had is nearly destroyed.

Hashirama ends up just barely winning, but this win was probably in the best interest of the nation, because compared to Madara, Hashirama was more rounded and more prepared to handle the nation in a time of peace and rebirth. If the situation calls for it, then he most certainly can be that unfaltering backbone that is not afraid to strike in protection of his nation, but it’s at this time that the nation doesn’t need that constant aggressive force like Madara, but instead a guiding and supporting one, and that is something that Hashirama embodies well. 

The nation honestly thrived so much during Hashirama’s presidency; economy soared, equality become common practice, advancements in social, economical, and academic fields were a constant. Hashirama was truly one of the greatest presidents that ever served; and the nation absolutely loved it, because he’s leading them all into one of the most successful times in history, but he was still very relatable to the everyday person.

By the time re-election came around- there wasn’t a single doubt that he was going to win. Hashirama was the most successful presidents ever, and everyone knew it. 

He was already married by the time he took on the presidency, and his S/O is such a perfect First Lady, she brings a new standard to being the First Lady that all of her successors have to strive to be on par with. Now, this is still a time where politics is a male-dominated profession, but his S/O starts to be that driving force in changing that, bringing more women into the profession, and proving that a woman can do the same job and give advice equal to a male counterpart. Without her, there wouldn’t have been as much social reform and equality created amongst her peers. Hashirama very much relies on her to give opinions on more difficult topics in hopes that it’ll help him make a decision.  

Obviously things progress as time goes on, because 20 years later Tobirama’s political team has Koharu, Mito, and Kagami’s Wifey as major components of it, and that is something that wouldn’t have happened if Hashirama’s S/O wasn’t there. 

Both Hashirama and his S/O are very supportive of each other, and they are this very ideal couple that the nation can look up to. They are a bit old fashioned, but during the time in which they served, the nation needed that steadiness in a very fast changing society.

Hashirama’s such a gentleman too. You won’t see anyone more polite than him when it comes to his wife. 

In this AU, there’s at least 7 or so years between Tobirama and Hashirama, and there are two different presidents between their terms, so the nation that Hashirama handles and the one that Tobirama handles are different. But, regardless, they both will help each other if they need advice or a different outlook on the situation, because Tobirama and Hashirama see things in very different lights, but sometimes that is very helpful when dealing with an issue. 

So I’ve said this before, but Kagami’s Wifey’s dad was Hashirama’s legal advisor all throughout his political career/presidency; they are very good friends with each other. And since her dad was a single parent for a good chunk of her childhood, he had her almost all of the time, so Hashirama became very acquainted with Wifey throughout the years. Hashirama cares about her like he cares for his own children, and he’s was one of those few people who pushed her to chase after a career in politics. This connection is one of the main reasons that Tobirama and Kagami ever became acquainted, so it’s very important in this AU.   

There was definitely some controversy when Wifey started dating Kagami while Hashirama, Tobirama, and Madara were all political forces, because it was two very young, but very informed individuals from opposing parties who could or couldn’t be leaking information to the opposing party. Tbh is was mainly Tobirama finding something trivial to bicker about, because there was nothing better to do, but still Madara’s nephew and Hashirama’s goddaughter? Tobirama didn’t like it- stop corrupting his supporters, Kagami ;p

Lol, Tobs, staph, they’re going to be your VP and foreign affairs advisor in 10 years; you’re not going to be able to function without those two. 

Anyway, my point in this is that it’s Kagami and Wifey’s relationship that kinda gives Madara and Hashirama common ground where they can reconnect a bit after all that hell that their friendship went through with the election and everything else. Hashirama sees it as that rift between their two parties finally starting to heal a bit- especially when Tobirama and Kagami run for office, and also sees the public’s new view is that it isn’t “Senju vs Uchiha,” anymore but instead two very capable politicians running to make sure that the country’s leadership in under good hands. Madara just kinda likes the fact that his family is getting the recognition that it deserves and Wifey doesn’t deal with Tobirama’s BS and will put him in his place if need be. 

OML HASHIRAMA LOVES SHISUI AND LUNA SO SO MUCH. When Tobirama’s in office, he spoils those two kids like none other. All of his kids/grandkids are grown, so now he spoils Kagami and Wifey’s two kids. Whenever their parents are out and they have to deal with Tobirama, Shisui and Luna will always go to Hashirama when Tobirama isn’t giving them what they want (aka vanilla cookies)

Hashi and Mads also laugh about all the shit and trouble Shisui and Luna cause Tobirama. Who knew it would be two children to test Tobirama’s ability so much? 

By Tobirama’s term, Hashirama keeps a very nice distance from the White House and politics where he is very much in tune to what is going on, but where he doesn’t truly have to worry about making decisions etc. He did his job, now it’s Tobirama’s chore to keep the country running.

[loptrcoptr]

Look I swear to god I’m just gonna stay here on my shit flotilla and continue to say: joe Biden sucks. But if he’s the nom we gotta vote for him. I really do not understand how y’all can posture and preen and say “GOD how COULD you defend one man putting kids in cages over another??” Because it’s simple pros be cons my good dudes! Firstly, the Obama administration separates kids from parents IF the parents had warrants out/were to be detained for criminal activity. Do we like that the kids were then out in some giant cell thing under guard all alone? Nope, we certainly do not.

With the two options being: guy whose administration did that and guy whose administration has even infants in tiny cells, cells in which kids have died, whose parents can’t get to them? You’d go for the guy with the bigger cages and work to try and keep kids from ever being thrown in there again, wouldn’t you?? There are no other options!!! You gonna sit out the election because it’s aLl jUST so AWFfUl and let the orange man continue to put kids in cages, guaranteed, with 0 opposition from his party?? Then wow kudos obv you care so much about those kids

I should just delete that reblog, obviously I’m a horrible person and everyone out there saying there’s no high road when you choose the lesser of to evils is right and we should all just give up and never vote again until AOC finally runs for President

[literalite]

How can we become friends? 👀👀 asking for a friend... crap that wont work everyone knows i don’t have any friends!!

idk man just slither into my dms im super awkward so idk how well that would work

[sleepyfaequeen]

Bayonetta Headcanons

Madama Butterfly:

You're protected by a well known demon from the Inferno world. She always has her eyes on you, making sure you don't end up getting hurt or worse.

She wants to one day fuse with you, just to see how it feels to be within your body. It's the idea of being closer to you that makes her grin with delight.

If Bayonetta ever summons her out and you're there be prepared for this giant demon to blow you a kiss or show off her very explicit dance moves. Bayonetta is aware and finds it rather cute that Madama Butterfly happens to like such a small Umbra like you.

Alraune:

She never thought she could love something like you. You were an Umbra witch so youd honestly make a good meal. So when it was starting to get obvious that you've ignited her heart with fire- she'd punish those with her thorns.

She one day wants to grab you with her thorns and feed you a drop of her ecstacy straight from the thorns from her body. She always wonders what sort of faces you'd make if she held you a little tighter.

Absolutely, hates the idea of Madama Butterfly being near you. She has been her enemy within Inferno for centuries. A foolish hatred others would call but she believed she was powerful enough to hate this demon.

Baal Zebul:

She is a celebrity to all Inferno so she was rather appalled she found someone like you. An Umbra with no identity but she thinks you're the cutest thing in existence. She doesn't feel nervous when she sings in front of you but she always asks what you think of her performance.

One day, she would like you to attend one of her concerts and listen to her voice. She also hopes that you'll sing with her as a duo and share that spotlight no matter where you two are in Inferno.

Really doesn't like seeing you upset and if you ever do get upset she will turn into her frog form and cuddle you're chest. If not, she will simply knelt down and hug you until you're no longer sad.