#you've worked for 40 years. you've got all the paperwork done you know it's all there and you'll get your full pension

[moinsbienquekaworu]

Like I think about pensions and retirement and working until I'm in my 60s and I wonder why I would want to be there for it when the only thing that I have to look forward to is shitty work for barely-enough pay for most of my life, up until I finally get to go (if I have my 40 years worth of trimesters) and enjoy life on a pension too small to do anything with. I literally hung out with my best friend today and we made hot chocolate and I think about retirement and suddenly I forget about every good thing in life

[thatgirlonstage]

One of the craziest things about EoA backstory is they needed to abide by the previously established StF lore that Aunt Tilly had the amulet before Sofia. But even so.. the Dark Times still didn't have be 41 years long? Tilly is at *most* in her early 40s and the earliest she likely got the amulet was age 7-8. They could've gotten away with like 15-25 years of Shuriki and still would've made sense. But no, must extend Elena and Esteban's respective traumas as long as possible. smh.

I haven't watched any of Sofia unless you count the Elena backdoor pilot so I wasn't aware that was where they got the 41 number from. I don't object to it as premise — I mean, fuck, I'm writing a fuck-off massive fic about it because I'm obsessed with it — but I do just find it funny that the show... clearly thinks about and uses it sometimes (eg: Elena's friend, I forget her name but the one who liked dancing, who's now a middle-aged woman) but then sometimes just. Forgets. Or seriously doesn't think about the ramifications of what that number means. My two examples off the top of my head being 1) Antonia's entire backstory, because the only way the math works there is if her dad worked for Shuriki, which makes the whole aspiration-to-be-a-royal-guard extremely awkward lmao, and 2) anytime they talk about holiday traditions, like in the Navidad episode they talk about all these big public parties they always have and I'm just sitting there. No you didn't. Shuriki banned parties and signing. You haven't done this in decades literally what are you talking about XD

It's fascinating to me partially because like. That's a whole lifespan. It's a short lifespan, that's young for a human to die (even in Ye Olden Days, lifespan averages that land in the 30s are generally failing to exclude infant & child mortality, humans hundreds of years ago did regularly survive into their 50s or 60s or older if they made it to adulthood), but you could grow up and get married and have a child that you raise to adulthood in that span of years. It's a really long time. But it's also not the stock fantasy, "the evil ruler has been here for 500 years." It's not an "it's always been this way" kind of thing but it is something that whole generations have grown up under, not just a "this was a few horrible years but everyone except toddlers still remembers when things were better" length of time. Forty-one is such a real number, and that's what can make it realistically horrifying.

Of course, that kind of goes over kids' heads, because when you're eight years old there isn't a ton of functional difference between forty-one years and four hundred, they're both just way, way longer than you've been alive. And I think the writers know that, which is part of why they skate over it a lot. But it's so fun to play with in fanfic land and this is what sends my brain spiraling about Esteban, just the, okay. You had a whole life for forty-one years that included all of the mundane things that you can't exclude from that kind of length of time. You had head colds and discovered a new food you like and did boring mundane paperwork and got used to it, because that was just your life for a really long fucking time. So what the fuck was it like surviving all that time?

[alex-guerin]

I had a Death Wish when I left for work today. I was backing out of the driveway and saw something hanging from our little garden flag. I had noticed it last night when I got home but thought it was something Coonhound related (we have 3 and my mom is obsessed with them so....). So, I hadn't thought anything of it.

Then I saw it...a flag with Trump's mugshot on an old fashioned wanted poster saying, "WANTED FOR PRESIDENT" I slammed on my breaks, threw my Jeep in park, got out and ripped it off it's little flag pole so fast I'm surprised nothing ripped or broke. I crumpled it up and threw it on the floor of the front seat and left for work. Got to work and took this ransom photo

Which I then proceeded to send to my mom along with this message

Now, I admit, I probably should have phrased some things differently, and I probably should have left out the swearing, and waited until I cooled down a bit before texting her,but every time I saw that damned flag, I'd just get pissed off all over again, so I gave no fucks and did it anyway.

Unfortunately, my mother had a reply of her own.

I left her on Read.

Now, nowhere did I happen to mention God or religion when I texted her. So where did this rant about God come from? And secondly, me going to college was HER idea. I did not WANT to go to college and be up to my eyeballs in debt. I couldn't think of anything that interested me enough to want to get a degree in that would make me any money. This didn't matter to her. She didn't care if I, and I quote, "get a degree in Underwater Basket Weaving! Just get a degree in SOMETHING!" so that I wouldn't end up working in a warehouse like she had for so many years.

Well. Oops? Looks like that backfired on her and now she's mad cuz I'm working in a warehouse and I have a different view of things from her. Both her fault.

Anyway, I digress.

When I got home, this took place...

I walked in the door, said hi to the dogs, gave Goose his medicine and went to go upstairs...

Mom: WHERE is my flag?

Me: *having folded it up respectfully instead of throwing it out in the garbage at work like I wanted to* Under the cookies I brought home on the counter.

Mom: Good! It better be.

Me: *walking behind her at her computer to get to the stairs, rolling my eyes and trying not to let out an audible sigh of resignation. Get to the stairs...*

Mom: And I do NOT appreciate you infringing on MY First Amendment Rights! This is the SECOND TIME you've done it to me, and it's going to stop!

Me: *under my breath, pretending not to have heard her* Ah yes. Good ol' Freedom of Speech. The only one the Trumpers know, and they are the only ones allowed to exercise it...

Now, dear well-meaning friends...please do not tell me I need to get out of this house (I already know this, I've known for a while, keep walking please), that I do not HAVE to stay here (will you find me a cheap apartment that will let me keep my cats and is close to work...), believe me when I say...no fucking shit. However, as already stated, it's very difficult to find apartments less than 40 minutes from my job that will let me have my boys. Believe me, I have looked. And the ones that WILL allow my boys, want a stupid amount of rent.

For those who fear my mother my throw me out...valid, I sometimes fear that myself. Then I remember, oh yeah, I pay my dad $440/month in "rent", which is literally half the mortgage payment. So even though my mom refuses to admit that I pay half the mortgage, and even though my name is nowhere on the mortgage paperwork, I am literally paying half the mortgage, and without my "rent" money...they wouldn't be able to make their mortgage payments. So they need me to stay so they don't risk losing the house. Thus, she won't kick me out.

I seem to have this knack for pissing her off. We butt heads on so many things, and I think part of what makes her so mad is that in the last few years, I've finally started trying to stand up for myself and not let her try to dictate my life for me. I'm not the timid little six year old who hangs off her every word and never questions anything, just blindly does what they're told. I have my own views. My own beliefs. My own opinions. And I don't think she likes that.

And what's worse, she likes to remind me that I'm just like my father...and I honestly can't remember the last time she had anything good or positive to say about him. I actually don't think I have EVER heard her truly say anything good or positive about him. She's always bitching to me about him. I think she also forgets I am half her DNA also. So like, I got her stubbornness and being ornery and independent streak.

😮‍💨 Sorry. I know people avoid RL Blogging and it's annoying to see someone whining about their life. I just needed to get it off my chest.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

When my endo was absolutely taking me out pain-wise, I did all the right things to not get fired for absences. This involved filling out paperwork with my doctor that explained that YES I have a pain condition and YES it stops me from working and YES I need to be able to use more than my alotted PTO to cover it all.

I was literally walking around the company like Professor Farnsworth because standing up straight hurt too much, and I was STILL shamed for needing to take time off.

Did I miss deadlines?

No.

Did I request extensions?

No.

I literally met every expectation they asked of me with the only thing I asked is that I could call in and say, "I can't fucking make it". All they had to do was go, "Yup, okay, you've still got plenty of non-paid days to use for that. See you when we see you."

By chance, I worked with a truly excellent manager who understood fully how much effort it took for me to show up. She knew I hit my deadlines. She made sure other people knew this. But it also came down to me just texting her, "I can't get out of bed today."

And she'd send back. "Okay. But I need you the rest of the week."

Translation= "I know you can take care of your work, but people are starting to say you're untrustworthy because they don't see you."

I finally got approved for a hysterectomy. Two days before my surgery--which HR knew about because I'd filled out all the paperwork to take six weeks off that were supposed to protect me from getting fired from absenteeism, I got a call from HR.

From the HR person who'd hired me on. From the HR person who'd encouraged me to fill out the intermittent leave paperwork. From the HR person who'd sent me links to all the surgical leave paperwork.

"Oh, Gayle, I know you're taking leave in a couple of days, and you're off for six weeks, and I just wanted to let you know that we're not sure we'll need you when you're ready to come back."

So, fun fact: This is illegal. But it was worded in gray-area illegal where the only way I could get anyone smacked for saying this to me was to have the energy to file a complaint, then follow up and fight.

I barely had the energy to stand.

Instead, I called a former supervisor who had been trying to get the company to let me update manuals to meet a contractual obligation for months. They'd refused over and over.

I think my message was, "Hey, it's me. I go on leave in two days for that surgery I warned you about, and now HR is telling me they don't think they'll have work for me when I get back."

Guess who came back for six months, hated every second of it, but got that fucking money. .

When they finally fired me, I couldn't claim anything concrete. Yeah, I knew there was plenty of work I could be doing, but I also knew I couldn't prove they were holding it from me because they wanted me to quit.

It took me 18 months to find a new job. Honestly, looking back, I can't imagine I was worth a damn in an interview for the first year. I know all my words sounded like they need for an interview, but I'm sure my tone was "those fuckers" and I was still recovering from a level of daily pain that should have (this is not a joke) made me pass out according to the pain scale.

I am a loud and fierce advocate for my co-workers to not only work 40 hours and only 40 hours, but also to shut off notifications at lunch and breaks and work whatever schedule gets them their 40 in the least painful way possible.

Will I be on a 5:01 PM when you finally feel pain-free enough to think clearly about the email I sent at 8:01 AM? Fucking nope. I'm done at fucking five. If I've got more questions, I'll ask and wait. You take care of you.

do able-bodied bodied people not understand that if disabled people call out of work every time they don't feel good that we would call out of work every fucking day?

like honestly. what do you think being disabled means?

[queerautism]

The last time before i got covid i was begging social services and my GP for help with my ADHD. The full assesment was taking over a year and meanwhile it was destroying my life. I was studying photography, which i adore and miss so badly, but the parents were fucking me around with financial support so i was trying to work part time and apply for working EU migrant student loan that would include not only course fees but maintenance costs (for rent / food etc)

I was starving. Going on my bike over an hour travel to the food bank and waiting for my turn in sensory hell for hours to be given some basic foods. Trying to ignore all the uncomfortable christian talk. Watching free food apps like a hawk because otherwise i wouldn't have dinner. On my bike again for 40 minutes to be given two sandwiches. I went through SSRI withdrawal cold turkey more times than i can remember when i didnt have the £10 to pay for the prescription for weeks.

Still, for a bit, i was making it work. But it was too much and i knew my brain wasn't working and i couldn't keep it up without serious help. I begged my doctor to talk to the adhd clinic about timelines. When that didnt work, i found a private ADHD service that accepted NHS referrals. She saw me sobbing in front of her and refused to even consider it. I told her i didnt want to give up my studies, my passion, but I'd be forced to if she didn't help me.

She told me my 10 minutes were up and i had to leave.

I had to drop out of university due to medical reasons, for the second time in my life. I had a part time job and managed to get a little universal credit, but i wasnt a student anymore and had no idea what i was going to do when the lease on my current student house ended. Social services had for months done nothing but force me into useless meetings and paperwork. I don't doubt being so exhausted and burnt out and barely eating lowered my immune system enough that in March 2020 I was the only one in the house to get Covid.

It was so bad I really thought i was going to die. Social services completely abandoned me at this point, just ghosted. I barely remember the entire month i was sick because it was incredibly traumatic and terrifying. I had to quit my job, of course.

My health has been in a heavy decline ever since, but since there werent any covid tests available at the time, i couldnt confirm it in paper or my health records. Even though it was a textbook case. I am now being denied care by Long Covid clinics. A GP heard my symptoms and diagnosed me with fibromyalgia over the phone, without any physical examination, even though it is a diagnosis of exclusion.

Trying to walk unassisted for 5 minutes makes my legs fail and so in pain and nauseous I'll throw up. I was throwing up every day until i was hospitalised with 'gastritis' and started being prescribed Lansoprazole. I can keep a little more food down now, but my digestive system is still a mess, and i have been waiting for a gastroenterology referral for over a year. I'm starting to doubt i got a referral at all.

This whole situation with the costochondritis and hospital and this useless social worker is reminding me too much of this era and it's so triggering and upsetting. I know the UK medical system and the government both want me dead.

I'm trying to keep fighting but it is so hard, and i am so tired.

Anyway. Mostly just wanted to get all that off my chest, and know that perhaps people who understand might read it.

Might as well leave a reminder that if you want to help me survive this hell, my paypal is here and anything you can spare is greatly appreciated. If you've enjoyed my blog over the years, chucking a couple quid in there is a great way to show appreciation.

[justanotherlifeff]

Levi Ackerman × reader

Genre: Angst, Hurt/comfort, Fluff, matured themes, slowburn

Warning: There's mentions and descriptions of underage rape and suicidal themes and self harm and other triggering stuff.

No one's POV

Levi squad was on the move from the now destroyed Reiss chapel. An injured Hanji, Eren and Historia was on a wagon while Armin was driving it. Levi, (Y/N), Mikasa, Jean, Sasha and Connie were on horseback. Far from them, travelled an enormous titan, twice the size of the colossal titan. When Levi squad was stuck in the passage, Armin discovered an opening in the wall of the passage. They heard a huge crash and a blinding yellow light when Armin discovered the opening. Someone transformed into a titan. That opening led Armin and Hanji out of the chapel into the safety due to Hanji's injury while the others went to aid Eren.

It turned out that Rod Reiss transformed into an enormous titan, the one which was travelling alongside them. As they were following Rod Reiss, Erwin's search party was spotted in a distance. When (Y/N) saw Erwin's horse trotting towards them, she felt guilty for ignoring her superior and going behind her Uncle's back. "It had to be done" she reassured herself as Erwin reached them.

"I knew it was you who stole the horse. Why didn't you follow the orders? Do you know the consequences of ignoring a direct order from the commander? And, where did you get the 3DMG from?" Erwin asked (Y/N) firmly. "I know the consequences, but, it had to be done. Without my contribution, the mission would've failed as Levi Heichou was busy with Kenny. According to the survey corps rulebook, section 27, any direct orders from superiors can be ignored without punishment if the decision of the guilty is essential for a mission. I believe my action was necessary for the mission's success. As for the 3DMG, I stole it from the supply storage, Commander." (Y/N) answered with a calm but determined expression.

"Commander, (Y/N) is right. Mikasa couldn't handle all of the anti personale squad alone. There were about 40 people. We needed (Y/N)'s strength." Armin chimed in. To that, Erwin sighed and said, "You're right. (Y/N), you do know that because of your foolishness, I still have to deal with the law of section 42, that pregnant women aren't allowed to fight...". Before Erwin could finish, (Y/N) interjected and said, " Commander, you already denied my permission to join the search party. I acted on my own. I am supposed to get the punishment for that but section 27 already vouches for it. There will be some paperwork involved but no other long term problem.".

Erwin looked at (Y/N) for a while. He was proud of the woman she became. "How did you steal the 3DMG? I sent a cadet to mention the guards of the supply storage to specifically see that you're not let in." Erwin inquired. "I knew you would do that. I sent someone else to get it for me." (Y/N) answered casually. "I see. (Y/N), did you really think everything through before making this decision?" Erwin asked, clearly impressed by how far (Y/N) thought everything through. To that question, (Y/N) looked at Erwin with a slightly amused expression and answered, "Of course I thought it through. Unlike you, I don't gamble". The last sentence gave Erwin a flash of memory

9 years ago:

" (Y/N), you really should go home now. It's just a game. We already played five times.." Erwin sighed as the 10 year old girl insisted on playing another game of chess. It was one of her off days from training with him and she discovered a chess board in his office while searching for books. Thus, he ended up in this position, playing five games of chess with her. (Y/N) was a quick learner. She was way past the basics in the first game alone. Erwin didn't expect her to win against him as he was known to be one of the greatest tacticians of all time. He knew that the girl won't give up on trying till she won at least one game, so, he went easy on her this time. "Checkmate" Erwin sighed at the end of their 6th game.

He noticed (Y/N) smile and suddenly, he noticed that (Y/N) had her knight just in position to get rid of his queen. She took the queen down and told, "checkmate" to Erwin with a sly smile. The knight was now in position to get the king and Erwin had no chess piece to get rid of it. "Good one, (Y/N). Go home now. Your parents will be worried." Erwin sighed. "Uncle Erwin, you went easy on me. I want a fair game before going home." (Y/N) demanded. By now, Erwin knew that when (Y/N) got her head into something, she never gave up. "Fine. One last game. Promise?" Erwin told (Y/N). "Promise!" (Y/N) answered in an excited voice.

Surprisingly, Erwin lost that game. This time, Erwin wasn't easy on her. The one last game went on five more times, only now, it was Erwin who insisted to have one more game. At the end, he gave all his tactician abilities but failed to win against (Y/N). "Okay. How are you winning against me?" Erwin asked in the end after loosing the sixth game. "You see Uncle Erwin, you have a pattern in playing. It was hard to figure out but you tend to loose your pawns very easily. You keep the elite pieces for the end and use them to take the enemy down.

However, when you don't have the pawns to cover for the elites, you start loosing the elites to my pawns. That's how I won. Unlike you, I don't gamble. I should go home now. Dad will be mad if I'm late." (Y/N) explained with a proud face as she went for the door, leaving a dumbfounded Erwin sitting in front of the chessboard. She just predicted his moves in actual combat scenario too.

"I won't say what you did wasn't reckless but I'm proud of you." Erwin sighed. "Thanks" (Y/N) muttered with a smile. Erwin asked Levi if everyone was okay and Levi told him about Hanji. Erwin decided that the injury wasn't too serious and can be fixed easily. Levi then mentioned to Erwin that the titan is Rod Reiss and Erwin said that they didn't have any time to waste as Rod Reiss will be heading for Orvud district.

After Erwin left, Levi looked at (Y/N) and asked, "I forgot to ask you about this but, why did you memorise the Survey Corps rulebook? Cadets or second in commands aren't required to know these.". "Well, I read those before joining the trainee corps. I found a book with the Survey Corps rules in Uncle Erwin's office and I decided to read it." (Y/N) replied. "Why would anyone want to read a rulebook?" Levi asked, completely confused. (Y/N) looked back at him with a confused face and answered, "I read it because I like reading?". Levi scoffed at this and said, "And yet, you never read a biology book.".

To that, (Y/N) made a protesting face along with a slight blush creeping up her cheek as she said, "I did read biology books! It's not my fault that you're so goddamned overprotective!" "Woah... They are acting like an old married couple..." Connie whispered to Jean as Levi 'tch'd to (Y/N)'s accusation. "Connie, no one cares" Jean grumbled, clearly being jealous. There was an awkward silence between the squad before Hanji broke it by starting to talk about the founding titan.

On the way to the wall, the possibilities of getting rid of Rod Reiss was discussed, Eren tried to stop Rod Reiss with his titan powers, calling him a little old man thus earning a glare from Levi and Historia came to terms with the fact that her father will be killed. After reaching the wall, the squad went to the regiment branch in Orvud district and a cadet notified the squad about the meeting that's about to take place in the hall. "Historia, forgot to tell you, we need you to do something" Levi said approaching Historia. "Yes?" Historia asked.

"Erwin's orders. When this battle is over, since you're the true successor to the throne, become the queen." he finished. Connie and Jean tried to say that it was unfair to put Historia in such a position out of nowhere but Historia agreed to be the queen. However, she said, "But heichou, I have one condition." "Huh?" Levi questioned her as she replied, "Since my fate is my own, I want to lay it on the line." Historia was allowed her wish. As everyone went to the meeting, (Y/N) said to her, "When you're queen, make sure to give Sasha a buffet meal at your castle. I owe her one." "When you're queen, you can punch that runt in the face." Mikasa said to Historia. Historia's body tensed at that.

(Y/N) POV

Uncle Erwin revealed the plan to us. Orvud district won't be evacuated because the damage would be far greater if Rod Reiss gets to the main wall. The plan was to blow up Rod Reiss's hands as he reached the wall and then Eren was supposed to throw explosives into his mouth. That is if the cannons don't work. As everything was being assembled, Levi came towards me and said with a monotone voice, "(Y/N), I need to talk to you in private. Come with me." I followed him to an empty hallway in the regiment branch.

When we reached, he said keeping his bored face, "(Y/N), I don't want you on front lines. I've told this to you before and you didn't listen but..." but I stopped him and said with a similar bored but determined expression, "Levi, for plan B, you need the best soldiers you've got. We both know that the nape and all the other pieces needs to be cut properly to finish Rod Reiss off for good. Our aim has to be perfect...". Levi stopped me this time. With an expression that clearly showed his annoyance because of my interjection, he said, "I know that (Y/N) but this is too dangerous. I need you and the baby to be safe..." I stopped him again and said looking down on the floor, "So you want me to act like an useless housewife? That's right, you said you hate that kind of women. Is this your way of preparing to leave me? ".

I hated it when he acted like I couldn't protect myself. "(Y/N), if I were to leave you, I wouldn't devise any bullshit plot like that. And, you're nothing near the useless housewife type. If you were anything like that, I'd not be wasting my time here. You are strong but... Well, I'll be honest with you, I could've never been ready for a family if I wasn't forced into it by circumstances. Now that I am facing circumstances like that, I don't want to loose the possibility of finding some peace. Every single person I ever cared about ended up being dead and I don't want to deal with that again.." Levi tried to explain clearly getting more frustrated before I stopped him. I understood his fears but I needed to do this.

"Levi, didn't you tell me that you're with me because I have a higher chance of survival? You have to trust me on this, Levi. I promise to stay away from the explosion but I need to be there to cut off the pieces of Rod Reiss. Just, have some faith in me. I won't die on you. Our kid won't die on you too. I'll make sure of that. I promise." I told him in a soothing voice. Levi stared at me for a moment and said, "Okay. In that case, don't die. Both of you. The others will be looking for us. Let's go." before starting to leave. I followed him.

"Levi, Jean, Sasha, Connie, see that side. (Y/N), you're helping Hanji with tying the explosives up." Uncle Erwin commanded as he was talking to Historia. We were watching how the cannons were working a while back. According to Levi, it was like insects pissing on the titan and I couldn't agree more. Eren and Armin were helping me weave the net while Mikasa was stacking up the gun powder. Eren got up suddenly and looked down from the wall.

Apparently some kids down there reminded him of himself. Armin agreed to it but said that circumstances were different now. Suddenly, Eren started punching himself and Mikasa had to stop him. "Eren! It's not time yet!" Armin shouted at him. As Eren started rambling about him beating up an useless runt, I interjected and said, "Eren, stop your bullshit. No one cares about how you feel about yourself. We don't have much time before Rod Reiss is upon us. Get your job done first." "Sorry (Y/N).." Eren muttered as like everyone, he still was scared of me to some point even if I was friendly to them.

The cannons failed at the end. Plan B was put into action. We drenched ourselves in water to minimize the heat emitted from Rod Reiss. Levi asked the garrison captain to retreat as it was time for the survey corps to take action. Eren had transformed into a titan and was already in his position as well as Armin and Sasha. Uncle Erwin held his hand up with a flare gun. He commanded to commence the mission by shooting the red smoke flare. Armin and Sasha used the manoeuvre gear attached explosives to aim at Rod Reiss's hands.

The explosions made him loose balance as planned. Uncle Erwin commanded Eren to go get the explosives in Rod Reiss's mouth. He did exactly as planned and Rod Reiss blew up. "All troops! Finish it off with your ODM gear!" He commanded as we all flew from the wall and started cutting the huge chunks of flesh out. It was planned that Historia would cut the nape. Levi and I dealt with most of the chunks before landing safely on the ground. Historia did her part as well. It was over.

Levi POV

Just as I landed, I went to check on (Y/N). I felt relieved to see that she landed safe too. "Oi (Y/N), we need to report to Erwin. Come on." I told her as I walked towards her. "Yeah.. Well, can you wait for a while? I feel like I'll puke.." (Y/N) muttered, clearly looking sick. "Okay, I'll tell Erwin that you're feeling sick. You don't have to report." I told her as she muttered a "thanks" before looking at Sasha, who was nearby and ordering her to take (Y/N) to the military quarters. I went to the scout regiment branch to Erwin's office there. He already was there when I arrived.

"Where's (Y/N)? Is she okay?" Erwin asked me with a concerned expression. "She's fine. She's getting morning sickness again. I sent her back to the quarters with Sasha." I notified him in my usual monotone voice. "Ah. I see. Before you report everything, I need you to go back to the Reiss Chapel. Take some men with you. We need to find out if anyone from the anti personale squad are alive. If they are, they could be a threat. Our job now is to officially announce Historia as the queen and eliminate all threats. The military police aren't much effective as they are all corrupted, so, we will have to take matters in our hand." Erwin explained. "Okay. I'll arrange a search party" I answered before leaving the room. I needed some tea before this new bullshit.

When I was done with my tea, I went to the canteen and chose some random survey Corp soldiers because I wasn't feeling like picking specific people and went towards the Reiss Chapel. I didn't take my own squad because they already had been through enough for the past few days and they deserved a break. We dug out all the remaining members of the anti personale squad from the ruins except Kenny. All were dead.

"Oi, search the perimeter. With those injuries, he can't go far" I commanded everyone as they went to look for him. A while later, one of them came back and informed me that he found Kenny. I followed him to the place. "Kenny" I called him out in a bored voice as I stood in front of him. "Oh gee. It's you?" he answered in an equally bored voice before coughing up some blood. "Your comrades we fought, they all ended up getting crushed. Are you the only survivor?" I asked, my voice void of any emotion. I personally was void of any emotion towards that man.

"Seems that way" he answered with a hint of remorse in his voice. I was taken slightly off guard by that. When did he start feeling remorse? "Report back. I'm fine here alone." I commanded the soldier with me. "Understood" he replied before leaving. "With those burns and that blood loss, there's no helping you now." I stated monotonously. "Yeah? I wonder.." he said with sarcasm dripping in his voice when I finally noticed the syringe beside him. The same type used to turn people into titans.

"I swiped this one right out of Rod's bag. I'm guessing, using one of these'll make me a titan. I'll be a stupid titan but it should keep me alive for a little longer... If I don't do it right, I'll probably turn out all messed up like him." he sighed weakly. "There's no way you'd sit around and wait to die. Don't you have a better excuse?" I asked. "Sure, I don't want to die and I want power. But... Oh, I think I just got it. Why he did that." he mumbled.

"Huh?" I replied, completely confused. Was he just rambling because he was dying or was it something relevant? "Every last person I've seen was the same way. Whether it was booze, women, or even God. Family, the king, dreams, children, power... They couldn't keep going unless they were drunk on something. They were all slaves to something, even him." he said before coughing up some more blood. "What are you? A hero? Stop shitting me.. Even you're drunk on something. It's that girl, (Y/N) right? She's a good one, I'll give you that. I expected better than 'she had morning sickness' though. Seems like you've grown up. Just like Kuchel.." he said with a tone of sarcasm in his voice as chuckled weakly.

"How did you know about her in the first place?" I asked him. I was curious about it for a long time. "It's not very hard to get information about you. That girl, Emilia or something, she talked. Seemed like she was ready to open her legs for any Ackerman" he chuckled. I saw the light slowly leaving his eyes. "Kenny! Tell me everything you know. Why doesn't the first king want humanity to survive?" I asked him with haste. I had to get all the information I can from him before he dies. "Like I'd know. But it's the reason we Ackermans opposed him." he replied weakly. "My last name seems to be Ackerman too. You.. What were you to my mother really?" I asked him finally. I didn't know if I wanted to know the answer. He chuckled weakly at that before saying, "You idiot, I was just her brother."

That night, when I was fucking (Y/N), my mind wasn't on her. Kenny's words were clouded in my mind. He was right, she was a huge driving factor for me. Now that she's pregnant, I had to make things official at some point. The retake of wall Maria will be planned after Historia's coronation. That means, this peace won't last for long. I also knew that (Y/N) and I couldn't possibly raise a kid in the scout regiment headquarters. I didn't bother to pull out while cumming.

I lay down beside her as she snuggled next to me. We were staying at the military quarters in Orvud district. "You were distracted the whole time." she stated. "Huh?" I asked taken slightly by surprise that she noticed. "What's wrong?" she asked as she looked up at me. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it." I answered calmly. She didn't drag the matter further. Instead, she asked, "How did searching the Reiss Chapel go?". "It was alright. Kenny was still alive when we found him. Apparently he was my uncle." I answered with a monotone voice. She didn't give me any reply for that.

I liked how she never dragged any matter that I didn't want to talk about or showed any pity towards me. I heard a soft snoring a while later. She was already asleep. She did help me with my paperwork though, so, I understood why she was tired. I looked at her calm and peaceful face and made a huge decision. I had to buy an engagement ring the next day. Even if it meant that I had to give up my guarding duties during Historia's coronation.

I woke up at dawn to find a drooling (Y/N) beside me. Tch... She drooled all over me... I got up, used a handkerchief to wipe the drool off her face, closed her mouth and went to take a shower. When I was back, I found her sitting up on the bed, yawning. "How late am I?" she grunted as she rubbed her eyes. "Not too much. If you go take a shower right now, you'll be 10 minutes late" I answered as I wore the survey corps coat.

"I guess I'll skip shower then..." she started but I interjected her to say, "You're not sleeping on my bed then.". She threw a glare at me before walking into the bathroom. I went to the canteen and found my squad there. I walked up to Mikasa and said, "Oi, you're Historia's body guard today. If Erwin asks where I went to, say him that I've got some work to do and I'll join the ceremony a bit late." " Yes heichou." she answered, clearly annoyed.

I drank my tea at a separate table before it was time to go to the capital Mitras. (Y/N) just arrived in the breakfast hall as we were leaving so she just got to take a steamed potato wrapped in a paper packet before leaving with us. Mikasa and I were in Historia's carriage. (Y/N) was with the other squad members. When we reached the capital, as we were going through the market, I told Mikasa, "I'll leave now. Don't mess this up." and got off the carriage as she was saying "Yes heichou.".

I've been to this market before to get suits for myself. I walked around the place before finding the jewellery store I was looking for. I came here with Hanji before as I usually attended military charity events with her. Hanji apparently got a great deal with some earrings or whatever and grabbed me with her to pick those up just before going to the event. I entered the store and this red headed woman sat inside. She welcomed me in a bored voice, at least until she noticed who I am. "A-are you Levi Ackerman? From the scouts?" she stammered as I walked towards her.

"Yes. That's me. Anyway, do you sell rings?" I answered in a monotone voice. Tch.. Another fan girl.. "Y-yes! Of course!" she stammered again before pulling up a box of men's rings. "The one with the grey stone will match your eye..." she said dreamily but I casually told her, "I'm sorry, I was looking for engagement rings. For women.". She looked like someone punctured her balloon full of fantasies.

"Who's the lucky woman?" she asked trying to sound interested even if her voice clearly showed disapproval. "Well, it's gonna be on newspapers soon anyway." I answered calmly. I didn't want to discuss my relationship with a random woman. She pulled out a different box, filled with women's rings. I chose a simple platinum ring with a single small diamond embedded into it. I knew it would be expensive but I wanted to do something nice for (Y/N). "That would be 500 gold coins." the woman answered. I took out my purse, and gave all the coins in it to her, she used a counting machine to count the amount of gold coins there and returned the rest of the coins. She packed the ring up into a ring box and I took it and left the shop in a hurry.

(Y/N) POV

I got down from the carriage and walked towards Historia's carriage. We were inside the military police headquarters in Capital Mitras. I knew that Levi would be with Historia there however, I didn't expect him to take Mikasa with him. I saw Mikasa and Historia get down from the carriage. There was no sign of Levi. Uncle Erwin was also there, talking to Mikasa. "That's quiet irresponsible of him.. He never did anything like that before.." I overheard uncle Erwin as I approached them.

"Good that you're here (Y/N). Did Levi mention to you about any personal work that he had to go to?" Uncle Erwin asked me as I stood infront of them. "Uh, no he didn't mention anything." I answered. That must be the reason for his disappearance. What could this personal work be? "I see.. Well, I'm sure he'll be back soon." Uncle Erwin said confidently before taking Historia to meet the other commanders and the Supreme commander. Mikasa followed them as I went back to the rest of the squad. "Where's heichou?" Sasha asked me. She mostly liked me because I always gave her some of my food. She even ate half of my steamed potato this morning. "I don't know. Apparently he had some work." I muttered.

We gathered in front of the stage before the coronation started. Mikasa near the stage. Suddenly, I saw Levi walk towards her and say something to her before she walked back towards us. While Mikasa was cussing him for being late and making her do his job, I was wondering what work he went to get done. The coronation didn't take long. Erwin called Levi to talk to him about his indiscipline and the squad was in charge of being with Historia. After Historia talked to the press, we were on our way to the scout regiment branch in the capital Mitras.

"Everything happened so fast... I'll miss you guys all a lot.." Historia sighed in the carriage. Sasha started crying and talking about how Historia gave her a bread the first time they met and how she thinks Historia is a God, Connie and Jean made some awkward attempts to say that they will miss her too. Eren said that he's happy for her. Mikasa said nothing. "Oi, Historia, I have a far important duty for you than being queen." I told her amongst all the commotion. Everyone had shut their mouths after hearing the statement for obvious reasons. They probably thought I'll say something important. "Huh?" she asked, clearly confused.

"Take care of my kid when I'm out in expeditions. You could do that right?" I asked her with a straight face. "I... Of course!" she said with a surprised expression. She didn't expect me to trust her with my kid. However, knowing the type of childhood she had, I knew she would be perfect. "Oh, and don't forget about getting Sasha that buffet meal." I added. "Huhhhh?" Sasha exclaimed. "Well, you gave me that bread remember? That day when Kenny attacked us? It's just payback." I answered breaking her confusion. Yet again, Sasha started crying, and, calling me God this time while Connie muttered an "I told you that you won't regret it" to Sasha with a grin.

It took a while for Sasha to calm down. The rest of the trip was quiet. We started talking once again when we were walking in the corridor of the scout regiment branch. We could see Levi standing far from us in the same corridor. "I'll hit him today" Historia told us seriously. "Hold on, you're seriously doing it Historia?" Eren exclaimed. "Yeah I am." Historia answered trying to hide the fear in her voice. "Mikasa was just joking about it! Right, Mikasa?" Eren said with a concerned voice, clearly trying to save Historia from the possibility of getting herself killed. I was just enjoying the show just like Mikasa, who replied,

"After you smack him, tell him this.. 'I dare you to hit me back'" with a serious tone. "Try inserting some insults there too." I added to that with an equally serious tone. I really was enjoying this. "Damn you two..." Eren told us with a disapproving look before turning back to Historia and saying, "If it's not a real grudge, just forget it.". To that, Historia replied, "If I can't do this, how can I call myself queen?". Jean caught on with the amusing side of it pretty quickly and said, "Hell yeah, Historia. That's the spirit!" with an evil smile. Before we noticed it, we were already near Levi. Levi noticed us too and moved towards us.

There was a look of pure fear on Historia's face before she gave a battle cry and charged at Levi, giving him a weak punch on his biceps. Everyone except myself and Mikasa shouted out at surprise at this. Both Mikasa and I had a grin on our faces. “How’d you like that? I'm the queen! If you got a problem..." Historia's failing attempt at sounding brave was interrupted by Levi's sudden chuckle. Everyone including myself was surprised at that. Levi never smiled in front of anyone except myself. What's gotten into him? He looked at everyone and said, "Thank you... All of you." before looking at me and saying with a grin, "(Y/N), do me a favour and go to my office. There's a box with a ring on the table. Wear that and come find me at Erwin's office. We need to tell him that we are engaged.".

With that, he walked away leaving me dumbfounded. This time, everyone looked at me with surprised expressions. "Did he just propose you?" Historia asked me, clearly confused and surprised. An uncharacteristically huge smile formed on my face. "Yeah... I suppose he did..." I muttered before running off to Levi's office. "This must be the weirdest day in human history. Historia is queen, Levi heichou smiled in front of us, (Y/N) is looking like a love sick puppy..." I could hear Connie ramble in the distance.

[AUTHOR'S NOTE: I was confused about (Y/N)'s age until recently when I planned to get her pregnant. To be clear, (Y/N) is 19 years old, she will turn 20 soon and I'll write a chapter about her birthday. Levi is 30 years old, thus making an age gap of about 11 years, which is supposed to be quiet normal inside the walls because almost everything there is like medieval ages. (Y/N) joined the trainee corps at the age of 14, while wall Maria was infiltrated when she was 12. I'll write a spinoff chapter on how she spent the two years in-between.]

To be continued...

Taglist: @reality-is-often-disappointing, @kingtamakimurder