#you've realized i'm a burden now and as nice as i am

[nattousan]

On being nice and neurodivergent and ultimately useless.

i see a pattern forming

ever since i got fired from my signshop job there has been a trend

maybe even before that

I get hired at a place, they're happy to have me

i show up early and they laugh at my jokes

I throw my everything into learning and they assure me

when i forget

you'll get better, don't worry, you're still new...

i smile and thank them

avoiding eye contact with the other shoe as it waits

for its turn

to drop.

weeks go by

I'm very friendly

all my coworkers are so nice,

correcting me when I forget for the ♾️th time today

we show each other pet photos in the break room,

just out of sight of the shoe

To keep in their good graces, i'm always on time

always eager to please, happy to help

even when i get it wrong

please don't let the other shoe drop, i need to pay rent.

We've reached past the point of plausible deniability,

You should know this by now.

They've stopped laughing at my jokes.

I never complain, always thank them for reminding me

I'm so kind, i bet they wish i wasn't,

everyones so sad to have to let me go.

You're a really great person! They say, handing me my termination letter

if only you weren't so (forgetful/inattentive/oblivious/uselessuselessuseless)

My ears ring louder every time that other shoe clatters to the floor

and i'm shown the door

i wish i could get paid

to be a nice person.

[whereforarthur]

Am I a Burden to You?

Request: arthur’s been working a lot and y/n misses him, she brings this up and he gets angry and calls her ‘clingy’ before realising he messed up and making it up to her (angst —> soft)

- Anonymous

Pairing: Arthur Hill x Gf!Reader

Word Count: 2.1k

Category: Angst with a happy ending

*****

The room was filled with a heavy silence, only occasionally pierced by the distant hum of a passing car. Y/N sat cross-legged on the floor, her eyes glued to the laptop screen as she replayed Arthur's latest video for the umpteenth time. His laughter, usually a soothing melody that filled her heart, now echoed hollowly around the emptiness of their apartment. She hadn't seen him in days, his work schedule swelling like a tide that had swallowed their plans whole. The aroma of cold coffee lingered in the air, a stark reminder of the mornings they used to share, chatting about their dreams before the day's responsibilities washed over them.

Her phone buzzed, startling her. She glanced at the screen, expecting a message from Arthur, perhaps a simple "Miss you," or "Can't wait to see you tonight." But it was just another notification from his YouTube channel, announcing a new collaboration with a fellow musician. Her heart sank. The screen flashed with images of him smiling with his friends, seemingly unfazed by the void in his personal life. Y/N felt a sting of sadness, realizing she had become an afterthought in his whirlwind of success.

With a sigh, she decided to confront him. It was time to voice her concerns before the distance grew too wide to bridge. She picked up her phone and called Arthur, her heart pounding in her chest. He answered on the third ring, his voice a blend of surprise and fatigue. "Hey, what's up?"

Y/N took a deep breath, trying to keep her tone light. "I just wanted to check in, see how your day's going."

Arthur's sigh was audible over the phone. "Yeah, it's hectic as usual. The music video's almost done, but the director's a bit of a nightmare."

"That sounds…challenging," she offered, trying to keep the conversation afloat.

"More than you know," Arthur replied, his voice tight with frustration. "Look, I'm just really busy right now. Can we talk about this later?"

Y/N felt the rejection like a slap in the face, but she pushed on. "It's just that…I miss you, Arthur. You've been working non-stop, and it feels like we're living separate lives."

There was a pause, and for a moment, she thought he might have hung up. But then he spoke, his voice laced with a hint of annoyance. "I'm sorry, but you know how important this is to me. I can't just drop everything because you're feeling clingy."

The word 'clingy' hit Y/N like a knife. She felt her cheeks flush with a mix of anger and hurt. "I'm not being clingy," she said, her voice strained. "I just miss spending time with you." She looked around the room, her eyes blurring with unshed tears. The apartment, once a sanctuary of their shared memories, now felt like a cold, empty stage where she was just a prop in Arthur's one-man show. The anger grew, a slow burn that began to consume her. She knew she wasn't being clingy, just expressing her love and missing her partner.

"You're always working," she continued, the words tumbling out before she could stop them. "We never do anything together anymore. It's like I'm invisible."

Arthur's tone shifted, now laced with defensiveness. "Invisible? That's not fair. I'm just trying to build a future for us. You know how much this means to me."

"I do," Y/N said, her voice quivering. "But I need you to understand that I need you too. It's not just about your future, it's about ours."

Arthur's silence stretched for a painfully long moment before he finally spoke. "Look, I'm sorry if it feels that way. I didn't mean to hurt you."

Y/N took a deep breath, trying to gather her thoughts. "It's just…it's not nice to be called clingy," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "It makes me feel like I'm not enough, like I'm just holding you back."

Arthur's voice softened. "That's not what I meant. I know you're not holding me back. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Y/N's grip on the phone tightened. "Then why do you keep pushing me away?" she asked, her voice cracking.

"I'm not pushing you away," Arthur said, sounding genuinely surprised. "I just need some space to breathe, to focus on my work. I thought you understood."

"I do understand," Y/N said, her voice thick with unshed tears. "But I miss you. Can we talk about this in person?"

Arthur's sigh was a heavy gust of wind through the phone. "Alright, I'll be home in an hour. We can talk then."

The wait felt like an eternity to Y/N. She paced the apartment, her thoughts racing. The clock ticked away the minutes, each second a pebble thrown into the river of their relationship, creating ripples of doubt and frustration. She busied herself by lighting a few candles, hoping the warm glow might ease the tension that had settled in the room. The faint scent of vanilla filled the air, a stark contrast to the coldness that had seeped into their lives.

Finally, the door swung open, and Arthur stepped inside, his eyes weary, his shoulders slumped. He dropped his bag to the floor, and she rushed over to greet him, wrapping her arms around his neck. For a moment, he stiffened before relaxing into her embrace. His arms circled her waist, and she felt his chest rise and fall in a deep, tired sigh.

They sat down on the couch, the candlelight casting a soft glow across their faces. Arthur looked into her eyes, searching for the words to explain his absence. "I'm sorry, love," he began, his voice thick with regret. "I know I've been distant. The pressure's been getting to me."

Y/N nodded, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. "It's okay," she murmured. "I just miss you."

Arthur's gaze softened, and he gently brushed a stray lock of hair from her face. "I miss you too," he admitted. "But I didn't mean to make you feel like you're not important. You are. You're everything to me."

Y/N leaned into his touch, her heart aching. "It's just hard," she said, her voice trembling. "I want to support you, but it feels like you're pulling away from me."

Arthur took her hand, his thumb tracing comforting circles on her palm. "I know, and I'm sorry," he said, his eyes sincere. "This isn't what I wanted for us. I guess I've been so caught up in my work, I didn't realize how much it was affecting you." Arthur took a deep breath, preparing to dive into the depths of their issues. "I've been thinking," he began, "maybe we should set aside some time, just for us. No work, no phones, just… us."

Y/N nodded, a glimmer of hope sparkling in her eyes. "That sounds perfect," she said. "But you have to actually stick to it. I can't keep being the one to remind you."

Arthur squeezed her hand, his gaze earnest. "I will," he promised. "Because I do miss you. And I don't want to lose you."

The conversation continued, the air in the room slowly shifting from tense to hopeful. They talked about their schedules, making plans for date nights and weekend getaways. Arthur listened intently, nodding and agreeing, his eyes never leaving hers. For the first time in what felt like an eternity, Y/N felt seen and heard.

As they sat there, the shadows of the room grew long with the setting sun, painting the walls with a warm, comforting glow. The silence that had once felt oppressive now felt like a blanket, wrapping around them as they leaned into each other. It was a silent promise, a vow to work on their relationship, to find a balance between career and love.

Y/N laid her head on Arthur's shoulder, his heartbeat a steady rhythm beneath her ear. He wrapped his arm around her, holding her close. They sat like that for a while, basking in the quiet understanding that had been so elusive lately. It wasn't a perfect fix, but it was a start. A step towards rebuilding the connection that had been frayed by time and neglect.

"How about we start with tomorrow?" Arthur suggested, his voice a gentle rumble against her cheek. "I'll clear my schedule, and we can do something together. Just you and me."

Y/N lifted her head to look at him, her eyes searching his for any signs of hesitation. Finding none, she smiled, a genuine one that reached her eyes. "I'd like that," she said, her voice a soft whisper.

They spent the rest of the evening planning their day together, the weight of their earlier conversation lifting with every shared laugh and whispered secret. Arthur's fingers danced over the screen of his phone, setting reminders and moving meetings, his determination to make it work palpable in every tap and swipe. They decided on a picnic in the park, followed by a visit to the art gallery, a place they'd talked about going to for months but never found the time.

*****

The next day dawned bright and clear, the kind of London morning that made the city feel alive and full of promise. Arthur woke up early, his heart fluttering with excitement. He had a surprise in store for Y/N, something to make up for the lost moments and the harsh words. He dashed to the kitchen, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee filling the air as he prepared a breakfast tray with her favorite croissants and a bouquet of wildflowers picked from the local market.

When she woke up to the smell of breakfast and the soft knock on the door, Y/N's eyes lit up. She padded out to the living room, her pajamas rumpled and her hair a mess, but she had never looked more beautiful to Arthur. He watched as she took in the sight before her, the surprise and joy washing over her features. "I know I said I'd make it up to you," Arthur said with a hopeful smile, "but I wanted to start today."

They sat together on the couch, the morning light spilling through the windows, casting a warm glow on their faces. They talked and laughed, sharing stories of their days and dreams for their future. Y/N felt a weight lift from her chest, the warmth of Arthur's love surrounding her like a cozy blanket. As they finished their breakfast, Arthur handed her a small, beautifully wrapped box. "This is just a little something to say I'm sorry," he said, his eyes twinkling.

Inside the box was a necklace, a delicate chain holding a single pearl. It was simple, but to Y/N, it was perfect. "It's beautiful," she whispered, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "Thank you."

They kissed, a gentle brush of lips that held the promise of more to come. The picnic in the park was everything Y/N had hoped for, the air filled with the sweet scent of blooming flowers and the distant sound of children playing. They talked and laughed, their words mingling with the chirp of birds and the rustle of leaves. Arthur had even packed her favorite sandwich, and she watched as he took a bite, his eyes never leaving hers.

As the afternoon sun began to set, they strolled hand in hand towards the art gallery. The promise of a quiet afternoon surrounded by beauty and culture was exactly what their hearts needed. The air between them was light, the tension of the past few days replaced with a gentle excitement for the future.

In the soft light of the gallery, they wandered from painting to sculpture, their conversation a gentle symphony of shared thoughts and feelings. Arthur paused in front of a particularly striking piece, his gaze thoughtful. "This reminds me of you," he murmured, his thumb brushing the back of her hand.

Y/N looked up at him, her heart fluttering. "How so?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

He turned to her, his eyes full of love. "It's full of color, of life, even in the shadows," he said, smiling. "It's complex, beautiful, and makes me feel something deep inside."

Y/N felt her cheeks warm as she leaned into him, her heart swelling with love. "Thank you," she murmured, her eyes shining. "You make me feel seen."

The rest of the day passed in a blur of art, music, and shared moments. As they walked home, the setting sun casting a warm glow over the city, Y/N knew that they had turned a corner. The future was uncertain, but for now, she had Arthur by her side, and that was all she needed.

[mcflymemes]

AS SAID BY DORIAN PAVUS  *  assorted dialogue from dragon age inquisition, updated version

i don't care what they think about me. i care what they think about us.

i like you. more than i should. more than might be wise.

discretion isn't your thing, is it?

all this dancing, politics, and murder makes me a bit homesick.

i suppose it really depends. how bad do you want to be?

living a lie... it festers inside of you, like poison.

i'm a man of many talents. what can i say?

the moment i saw you, i thought "there's a man who knows quality."

if you don't come through this, i swear i'll kill you.

i'm curious where this goes, you and i. we've had fun. perfectly reasonable to leave it here.

here is my proposal: we dispense with the chitchat and move on to something more primal.

i tease you too much, i know.

i'll have to find something we can do that doesn't involve teasing.

time to drink myself into a stupor. it's been that sort of day.

i see you enjoy playing with fire.

i like playing hard to get.

i'm not suggesting we venture into mutual domesticity.

if it's a trap, we escape and kill everyone. you're good at that.

talk to me. let me hear how mystified you are by my anger.

oh, i'm not arguing. just pointing out the ridiculously obvious.

if you choose to leave your door unlocked like a savage, i may or may not come.

now... what was i talking about? ah, yes. me.

i am apparently an incredible ass at accepting gifts.

i prefer the company of men.

would you prefer me bound and leashed?

sometimes the ones you love are also the ones who disappoint you the most.

you are the man i love, [name]. nothing will truly keep us apart.

the things you ask are just... very personal.

sometimes... love isn't enough.

there will always be an "us." we'll just be... farther apart, for a time.

i had no idea something like you was possible.

i'm imagining what you would look like in a dress.

i've never seen you smile so much!

i have no idea what you're talking about.

you stand there, flexing your muscles, huffing like some beast of burden with no thought save conquest.

you're shaping the world for good or ill. how could i aspire to do any less?

my footsies are freezing, thank you.

don't you ever bathe?

you're not suggesting we're similar.

watch where you're pointing that thing!

i'm not wearing a skirt.

it's significantly more impressive than hitting them with a sharp piece of metal.

i only meant to say i'm very sorry for your loss.

we can continue this dance forever, if you wish.

i'm saying we should be careful what we assume when it comes to such matters.

demons don't appreciate a man with good hair.

what i wouldn't give for some proper wine.

your outfit's entertaining. i'll give you that.

he had to leave early on account of assassination.

it's nice to know you have friends.

i'm here to do what is right.

come on, just answer the question.

they were asking me about you. personal things.

you said we'd be ass-deep in trouble. this is more like knee-high.

so what's your estimation? think we can win?

you can't call me pampered. nobody's peeled a grape for me in weeks.

you startled me. you're always so... nondescript.

you're a special and unique snowflake. live the dream.

i wanted to see you make flowers bloom with your song. just once.

you've done a lot less dancing naked in the moonlight than expected.

i've never seen anyone in this part of the world do it.

i realize there's more to you than that.

have i offended you?

for hating the outdoors, you sure seem to like bad weather.

i can't figure you out, [name].

you don't play their stupid game, they send an assassin or three your way.

i can't believe you're scared of magic.

i'm going to take that as a compliment.

still don't like me, [name]? after all this time?

[name], i owe you an apology.

i suspect people will use any excuse to hate us.

why be ashamed? power should be respected, not swept under the carpet.

maybe you're not a complete moron.

i just need to know you're capable of higher thought. for my own comfort.

it would take work. and soap. lots and lots of soap.

[wondersinwaynemanor]

here i go again with "big brother dick grayson strikes again" prompts.

thinking of Dick probably helping his siblings on their first dates and offering to take them to the location.

Dick to Jason: Hey, Little Wing. I know you can take one of your motorcycles, but let me take you. You can just focus on being pretty.

Jason: Shut up, Dick. But, are you sure? I don't know why my hands feel a bit numb-

Dick, takes Jason's hands on his to warm them up and untighten the nerves there: It's okay. I got you. You're okay. It's going to be okay. Don't stress yourself out.

Jason: I know I fucked up many times, Dick. I don't want.. I don't know what to do if I fuck this up.

Dick, brings Jason closer: Shh. You won't, Jay. You're very smart and strong, and so so caring and you don't even realize it it. Ask the kids at the Alley, they idolize you. Roy adores you and everything you do. He knows who you are. And trust me, I'm not that bitter anymore of one of my best friends dating my younger brother.

Jason smiles which warms Dick's heart, making him smile too.

Dick: Plus, we wouldn't want Ollie to think that a Wayne cannot dress up and be romantic right?

Jason grins this time.

Dick to Tim: Timmy, I have a great idea! I'll drive you there. I know you're tired from work already. Just let me know which restaurant then you can rest a bit when we travel there.

Tim: It's okay, Dick. You're also tired from your shift. I'll just let Kon know I'll be late for a few-

Dick: No, no. If you want to rest first, let him know, he'll understand. But I'll still take you.

Tim: But, Dick...

Dick: Nah-uh. I didn't drive you to prom, remember? Let me do this, Baby Bird. And for me to also look out for Lex, just in case he bothers Conner again. We don't want that happening in the middle of your date.

Tim, laughs: Well, Kon will just have to drag Lex's ass to space.

Dick laughs with him.

Dick to Cass: Aww, you look beautiful, Cass. So where you going? Where will you meet Steph?

Cass, fixing her necklace: By her house.

Dick: Great! I already know where that is. I'll drive you there. We don't want to ruin your beauty. I mean, that's totally impossible, but I want you to just relax before the date.

Cass, blushes: I can do it.

Dick: Of course, you can. But I want to. Pretty please, pretty please. I'm a little protective over my sister.

Cass, rolls her eyes fondly but smiles: Of course. Thank you.

Dick: You're most welcome. And tell Steph if she does something extreme like set some fireworks, tell her to lay off with those energy drinks she started on her diet.

Dick to Duke: Little D, Little D! Don't even try to say no cus maybe your brothers and sister have already told you, but this is kinda my tradition now. I'm taking you to your first date.

Duke: They did tell me. But, Dick.. I don't want to be a burden. Weren't you injured-

Dick: No, no. That was like last week. I'm good. As long as you're good with me to take you, right? Now, I don't want to be the burden.

Duke, smiles: Never.

Dick, smiles and gives Duke a side hug: Then you're never a burden too, Little D. A big bro has to look out for the younger ones. Plus, I can say that you dressing up nice comes from my influence.

Duke, chuckles: Who else am I looking up to, right?

Dick to Damian: Shush, Dami. I know you're dating a super, and he can come and get you without a minute to spare, but tell Jon I'll be taking you.

Damian: Richard, please. I'm already at the right age.

Dick, puts a hand on his little (not so anymore) brother's shoulder and he refuses not to tear up (he fails ofc): I know, you've grown up so much, Dami. So much, since I made you Robin. But please, it will make me really happy to do this. It will give me peace, in some way. It sounds ridiculous, but yes.

Damian, doesn't even try to hide the fond he has on his face: Alright, Richard. I'll let Jon know.

Dick: He's not taking you somewhere out of Gotham or Metropolis, right? Cus then we'll have to take the Batplane.

Damian, chuckles: It's in Metropolis, don't worry.

Dick: Phew. I was as nervous as the time I took Tim on his date.

so....

maybe after a few years on Dick and Wally's wedding day, Dick's younger siblings will be walking with him on the aisle by his side and Bruce, their Father, on his other side of course. and they're thankful that the aisle is wide enough to fit the whole Wayne kids. Dick is a crying mess and he hasn't even reached Wally yet by the end of the aisle. because he's genuinely happy to have his siblings take him to the love of his life this time.

[lilacwrite]

"In due time."

Wasn't it so convenient- you, neuvillette and an empty court room?

What seemed like an usual,boring afternoon in Fontaine, turned out to be the most exciting day you've ever had at work. Or in your life, for that matter.

You walked to the Palais Mermonia as usual to assist Monsieur Neuvillette since you were his new secretary. It wasn't a hard job but.. it wasn't an easy one either. The thing is it didn't come with a particular set of rules or any particular tasks for that matter. You were working for a week already, not sure if you're doing things right or not. He's always buried in paperwork or running around doing some errands, which probably were your job. But you didn't think Neuvillette knew that, leaving you to sit on the couch sipping tea in his office all day.

Deciding to take matters into your own hands, you go to see Neuvillette in his office only for the nice melusine outside to let you know that Monsieur is not in his office at the moment but you're welcome to wait. You smile politely and refuse the melusine's offer to go look for Neuvillette by yourself. As his secretary, you were supposed to have his schedule, buy his lunch, help ease his work. But all this needed communication between the two and right now you don't even know where he was. Walking around all over Fontaine you finally found him, at the Opera House, sitting in his chair and looking over an empty court room. "Monsieur?" you whisper gently, not wanting to scare him by accident. Neuvillette jumps a little at the sudden noise then salutes you and invites you up, beside him.

"What troubles your mind, Monsieur?" He lowers his gaze, thinking before answering you. "This...is where I got my powers back, fully restored. And... I can't help but wonder..." He looks you in the eyes before asking "Am I making the right choices? Am I leading the people of Fontaine right?" his gaze is filled with doubt and he almost looks scared. You take a step towards him and taking his hand, you answer " I might not know the pressure of being the Iudex, but I know for sure that it's okay to feel scared or uncertain. It shows how much you care for your people and rest assure that you're making the best decisions. You're intelligent, highly educated and you learned to understand humans better than they understand themselves. And this is why I'm here, Monsieur. To help ease your work, to share your burdens and make sure that at the end of the day you're more at ease and relaxed." He gently smiles as you feel the atmosphere changing, realizing you're still holding his hand. Clearing your throat you add "Ahem, but in order to do that, we need to communicate. I need you to speak with me and I think this moment was a great first step. The next step should probably be you giving me your schedule, Monsieur."

Now you made the stoic Iudex actually giggle as he nods in agreement with all that you just said. "I appreciate your help and the fact that you were willing to take this job. You were the only one to show up at what was supposed to be an interview." This time it was your turn to giggle, unsure what to say, but Neuvillette wasn't done. "I'm glad it was you."

Thinking for a second, he continues "Maybe I should interview you since you're not from around here. Where did you say you were from again? Liyue? And I need a list of your previous jobs along with other qualifications you might have." You turn around on your heels ready to go, giggling that only now after a week he is interested in your qualifications.

Neuvillette catches your wrist and you turn around to look at him confused. His eyes are mesmerizing, ocean blue that you could get lost in even with a compass. A strain of his messy caught hair on his face, begging you to caress his face and put it behind his ear. "Monsieur..?" you ask uncertain and regretting immediately when he moved his warm hand away. "Pardon me, but you just left my questions unanswered and I have to admit that you fascinate me." Smiling you take a small step forward and say "In due time." And turn around,leaving Neuvillette more confused than ever "I will answer all your questions in due time, Monsieur. But i believe it's time we head back and you need to introduce me to your- our work."

He catches up to you in two steps, offering his arm for you to take "Let's walk together. It's more pleasant this way and we can have a little conversation on our way back." His expression is almost as stoic as ever, but there's a hint of softness in his gaze that feels meant just for you that warms your heart a little.

Smiling you nod and accept his offer, ready for the scandal the two of you will stir all around Fontaine.

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Kalim Al-Asim - Dorm Uniform Vignette

"I just had a good idea"

[Exterior Hallway 2F]

Crowley: Ahh, so busy, so busy…

Kalim: Hey, Headmage, you dropped something! Oh, wait… Isn't this a tourist pamphlet for the Scalding Sands?

Crowley: Oh, pardon me. How careless of me.

Kalim: Here you go.

Kalim: Are you interested in going to the Scalding Sands?

Crowley: That's right, it's one of the possible destinations for my next vacation…

Crowley: Oh, oh, yes～! Now that I think of it, you come from Scalding Sands, don't you, Asim-kun?

Kalim: Yeah!

Kalim: A vacation, huh～ My home country is such an awesome place, so I'd love it if you could visit, Headmage.

Kalim: The people are all nice, and there's a ton of things to see, and the food is super good!

Crowley: That food is what gives me hesitation, you see.

Crowley: I've heard that the dishes served in Scalding Sands use many unique spices…

Crowley: I am unsure if it'll be to my tastes, so I just can't bring myself to take the plunge and go.

Kalim: Oh, if that's all, then come over to Scarabia! Jamil'll cook up a ton of authentic dishes for you.

Kalim: If we're going to be hosting the Headmage, then let's have a feast with the everyone else in Scarabia, too.

Crowley: Eh, oh… I wonder, is that truly alright～?

Crowley: Well, I feel as though I've asked a huge burden of you, but since you've offered, I shall absolutely indulge. I look forward to it!

[Scarabia Dorm – Lounge]

Kalim: …So, that's why we're going to be throwing a banquet tomorrow and inviting the Headmage!

Jamil: Well, he sure set you up… There's no way someone would just accidentally drop a pamphlet of the Scalding Sands like that.

Jamil: First of all, why are we doing this tomorrow? It would have been better to have had more time.

Kalim: I thought it'd be better to do it as quick as possible. No time like the present, they say!

Jamil: They also say not to venture into the sea without a net. Do you even realize just how hard it is to arrange a banquet…?

Kalim: It'll be a piece of cake for you, right? Besides, I've already decided what kind of feast we'll be having.

Kalim: First, we gotta decorate the place. So that the Headmage can appreciate the Scalding Sands' beautify, we need to use textiles that have traditional patterns on them.

Kalim: We got a ton of fabric we're not using up in the storage room, right? Let's decorate with that!

Jamil: One roll of that fabric is worth enough to feed a family of four for a whole month… But, fine. I'll do as you ask.

Kalim: The food is obviously gonna be traditional Scalding Sands dishes! That's also something you're good at, right?

Kalim: And so that he can enjoy all different kinds of things, let's set the feast up with some lightly toasted bread so he can all load up each one with whatever he wants.

Jamil: I'm sure that'll the Headmage will like that. …Even though that'll add a ton of dishes that'll just make prep work even harder.

Kalim: Ah, but even though I'm saying traditional dishes, don't make "that" one dish.

Jamil: Yeah, yeah. I know. I won't make "that" dish.

Jamil: …Alright, I understand what you want for the feast. You don't need to explain any further. So I'll start the preparations…

Kalim: AND THEN THERE'S THE PARADE!!

Jamil: Urgh, of course we're doing a parade, even though that's going to take the most time…!

Kalim: First, the elephant will kick open the doors with a bang. After that, the tigers will come in making their way around the elephant's feet!

Kalim: The white monkeys will bash the cymbals on the back of the golden camels… The lions and the peacocks will…

Kalim: And then after that, the bear… And then…

Kalim: …At the end, I'll pop out of the fountain on my magic carpet alongside the rainbow parrots…!

Kalim: And as the host, I'll give an awesome speech to finish the party!!

Kalim: What do you think!? Doesn't it sound like fun?

Jamil: …

Jamil: What a pain… All I see is how extravagant it'll be. If you're going to want a parade that crazy, it's going to take a while to prepare for it.

Jamil: It'll be especially difficult to get those rainbow-colored birds. I don't know if I'll be able to get them by tomorrow…

Kalim: Well, you're gonna be busy with prepping the decorations and the food, right? I can get the parade ready.

Jamil: Eh!!

Jamil: …Let's not be too hasty. It'll be fine. I'll make the arrangements.

Kalim: I told you, I'll do it.

Jamil: It's fine. Just leave it all to me, you just sit there and wait.

Kalim: I'm gonna do it!

Jamil: I said you don't have to!

Kalim: Don't worry! I'll find a ton of lively animals to bring in.

Jamil: That's what I'm worried about… Ugh, you really don't listen once you get started, do you?

Jamil: Fine. I'll leave the parade planning to you, then.

Jamil: …You sure you'll be fine? I'm counting on you.

Kalim: Leave it to me! I'm really good at handling animals.

[Main Street]

―Day of the Banquet

Kalim: Hey, all you parade animals! You following after me?

Kalim: Hey, now, you elephants and tigers need to get along. See how the lions and monkeys are doing fine together?

Kalim: It's great that the bears and peacocks are being super good. Keep following the lead camel.

Kalim: …Ah, that includes all you rainbow parrots, too!

Scarabia Student A: Wow… All those animals are following after Kalim-ryōchō without any problems!

Scarabia Student B: Our Housewarden's definitely amazing. Look how he's able to command so many animals at once like that!

Kalim: I'm not really commanding them… It's just that I've loved animals ever since I was little, so maybe they can feel that!

Rainbow-colored Parrots: [chirps]

Kalim: But hey, you guys are being super good today. Are you all looking forward to the party, too?

Elephants: [trumpets loudly]

Kalim: Hahaha, I see, I see! I'm so glad.

[Scarabia Dorm]

Kalim: Alright, we made it to Scarabia.

Kalim: I'll have all you animals wait here quietly until the parade starts, and…

???: Fwaa, funyaa…

Kalim: Hm? What's that pathetic sounding cry?

Grim: Nyaaa! I'm gonna be trampled by the elephant! Someone save me!!

Kalim: I don't remember bringing a raccoon… Oh wait, you're Grim! I completely thought you were one of the animals for the parade.

Kalim: Come up here. You'll be safer on higher ground.

Grim: Y-You've saved me…! I got caught up with all the marching animals while on the way back to Ramshackle…

1. I'm searching for a lost child! 2. Has anyone seen my poor little one?

Kalim: Oh hey, it's [Yuu]. If you're looking for Grim, he's right here.

Grim: Oooh～? [Yuu], were you sad that you got separated from me? My little henchie's so needy, huh.

Grim: But this was a shocker. Are you opening a zoo with all these animals, or something?

Kalim: Nope, that's not it. We're throwing a party for the Headmage at our dorm today!

Kalim: We got spectacular decorations, delish food… And we're gonna top it all of by treating everyone with an extravagant parade.

Grim: You got all these animals just for a party!? Man, rich people sure are different…

Kalim: This is all pretty normal. We gotta go all out and make sure both the eyes and stomachs of the guests are happy!

Grim: I don't really care 'bout my eyes, but… I gotta know what you mean by stomach!!

Grim: So, so, what kinda food're you bustin' out for the banquet!?

Kalim: Usually at the banquets we throw back in Scalding Sands, we'll serve dishes with a whole lot of spices in 'em.

Kalim: We got stuff like curry, bamia, saltah… Basically, my country's known for their stew-like dishes.

Grim: Authentic Scalding Sands curry!? I wanna try some～!

Kalim: Ah. But my family doesn't make curry for fests.

Grim: Ehh～ But it sounds like it'd be so good. Why not?

Kalim: Uh, well… A long time ago, there was a bit of an incident involving curry.

1. Did you eat so much you got a stomachache? 2. Did the curry go bad and give you a stomachache?

Kalim: Not really, but sure, something like that. It was days before the illness passed.

Kalim: But since then, I've just never liked curry.

Grim: Humph. You're a bit more delicate than I expected.

Kalim: Oh, it wasn't me that got sick, it was Jamil.

Kalim: He tasted what was brought out first as usual and immediately went deathly white.

Kalim: Ah, but don't worry. It wasn't food poisoning, see? Our dishes are always made with the best and freshest ingredients!

Kalim: Everyone else was perfectly fine, it was only Jamil who got sick, after tasting from my plate.

Grim: …So, doesn't that mean…

Grim: That something was only put into your meal…?

Kalim: Hmm. I mean, I don't really know all the details either, but…

Kalim: That was the first time I ever saw Jamil so down and out… And I've never been able to forget it.

Kalim: …But! It doesn't seem like it bothered Jamil that much, curry's still his favorite dish!

Grim: Urgh… Sounds like he's got weird tastes, totally different from a gourmet like me.

Kalim: We won't be serving curry, but Scalding Sands has a ton of other delicious food to offer up.

Kalim: And hey, you guys came all the way here to Scarabia, so you should totally stay for the banquet!

[Scarabia Dorm – Lounge]

Grim: Myaaah～! This feast's super amazing～!!

Grim: All the bright red banners hanging around the lounge're super cool…

Grim: And there's a toooooon of food I've never even seen before here!!!

Grim: I'm totally gonna eat enough for tomorrow too! Monch, scarf, gobble.

1. This is a real fun party. 2. Gobble, munch, munch.

Kalim: Eat as much as you want, [Yuu] and Grim～!

Kalim: And to our guest of honor! Headmage, are you enjoying the banquet?

Crowley: Yes, absolutely!

Crowley: I had completely assumed that the Scalding Sands would only have spicy cuisine… But it seems I was absolutely mistaken.

Crowley: All these crunchy vegetables! This fragrant seafood! The juicy steaks!

Crowley: And then on top of that you have this savory bread to wrap everything in! All your decorations are beautiful too. Everything is outrageously delicious.

Kalim: Right? And Jamil here made all that delicious food for us!

Crowley: Oh, this wasn't done by a professional chef? You're astounding, Viper-kun.

Jamil: No, not at all. ...Kalim came up with the menu so that you would be able to try an assortment of our dishes.

Jamil: In addition, my cooking skills were cultivated within the Asim household. Everything is all thanks to Kalim.

Kalim: Hehehe.

Kalim: The Headmage and all the other guests are happy, too. Thanks for setting up the place and for prepping all the food, Jamil.

Jamil: …You're welcome.

Jamil: But it's too early to get complacent.

Jamil: As the host, you still have your own part to play during the parade finale, don’t you?

Jamil: Go and get ready for that.

Kalim: Yeah, alright!

[Scarabia Dorm]

Kalim: Okay! I made it to the standby area for the parade.

Kalim: And just like we planned, I'm gonna get on my magic carpet here and wait for the starting signal…

Scarabia Student A: HEY, WAIT!

Scarabia Student B: OH NOOO!

Kalim: Hm? What's wrong, you guys?

Scarabia Student A: H-Housewarden! Uh… That is…

Scarabia Student B: All the rainbow parrots that we had for the parade…

Scarabia Student A: THEY ALL ESCAPLED!

Kalim: Eeeh!?

[Scarabia Dorm]

Scarabia Student B: All the rainbow parrots that we had for the parade…

Scarabia Student A: THEY ALL ESCAPLED!

Kalim: Eeeh!?

Scarabia Student B: S-Sorry! And those parrots were essential to the parade!

Scarabia Student A: We just completely forgot to lock the key to the cage…!

Kalim: All the parrots… I see…

Kalim: …But hey, I'm sure everything'll be fine!

Scarabia Student A/B: Huh.

Kalim: Can't do anything about something that's already done. Plus, it wasn't on purpose, right?

Kalim: I'll take care of it, so you guys don't have to worry about a thing!

Scarabia Student A/B: Kalim-ryōchō…!

Kalim: …Oh. I just had a good idea.

Kalim: I'm gonna head over to Diasomnia now.

Scarabia Student A: Diasomnia? …You mean the dorm Malleus Draconia leads!?

Scarabia Student B: Why would you go to that dorm of all places…?

Kalim: You guys and Jamil all worked so hard to get this party ready.

Kalim: I'll go gather all the birds so that everything goes off perfectly.

Kalim: I need all of you to start the parade as planned. We can't leave our guests waiting.

Kalim: I'll be back as soon as I can!

[Scarabia Dorm – Lounge]

Crowley: Well now, the parade has started. It seems we can view it from the balcony.

Crowley: I wonder what we'll see… Oh?

Crowley: Something is walking towards the dorm from the distance in tune to some music… Wait, aren't those elephants!?

Crowley: And there are tigers walking around the elephant's legs… Hm? And there's lions on the elephant's back…!?

Crowley: Eh, how is this possible!? And now there's white monkeys!? I didn't know a trumpet could be used in that fashion!!

Crowley: And between the golden camels there's… And all the tigers and lions… Wow! Unbelievable!!

Grim: Th-The peacocks' feathers are wrapped around the bears, and… Oh, the elephants! Look at the elephants' ears!! This is amazing!!

1. I'm so moved I can barely take it all in. 2. This is the greatest parade of the century.

Scarabia Student A: Th-The finale is coming up…!

Scarabia Student B: Kalim-ryōchō… Do you think he's going to make it…!?

Grim: Ooh! The parade has made it to the fountain.

Grim: The music's amping up, too…

1. Here comes the finale! 2. This is the most exciting part!

Crowley: I wonder what surprise ending they have in store for us!?

???: …Heeey!

Scarabia Student A: Hey! I see a magic carpet flying our way! And who's that riding it…

Kalim: Sorry to keep you waiting, everyone.

Scarabia Student A/B: KALIM-RYŌCHŌ～～～!!!

Kalim: I was trying to find my classmate Silver, and it took a bit longer than I thought… But I brought them.

Kalim: I got all these white birds!!

Scarabia Student B: …He's right. There's a ton of white birds flying behind him!

Scarabia Student B: Oh yeah, I remember hearing that Silver from Diasomnia has a good rapport with small animals.

Kalim: Yeah. I went and asked Silver to call for his little bird friends to help me.

Kalim: But man, he dozes off so much. It took a long time to be able to call all the birds.

Scarabia Student A: …But in the end, I guess you couldn't find the rainbow parrots.

Scarabia Student A: No matter how you look at it, those parrots would have been flashier than these white birds. And it's all our fault for letting them fly away…

Kalim: Don't worry about it. It wouldn't be nice to force those parrots back into their cages anyway, right?

Kalim: A party's only a party as long as everyone's enjoying themselves.

Kalim: …Ah, and that includes you guys too. So don't look so glum.

Scarabia Student A/B: Housewarden…

Kalim: 'Sides, even these white birds can replace the rainbow-colored parrots! I told you guys I had a great idea, didn't I?

Kalim: It's time for the amazing finale to start. Don't blink at all and keep watching 'til the end.

Kalim: "A haven within the hot sands, a never-ending feast. Dance! Sing! Oasis Maker!"

Crowley: Oh, there goes a spray of water from Asim-kun's Unique Magic…

Grim: And from it, out popped out some colorful birds!!

1. It's so beautiful. 2. I've never seen a scene like this before.

Crowley: …Oh?

Crowley: When I look closer, I can see that the birds flying aren't colorful at all.

Crowley: The rainbow that appeared from Asim-kun's magic were cast onto the wings of those white birds, making it seem like they were colorful.

Crowley: This blizzard of colors, the shimmering spray of water, and those birds dyed by a rainbow…

Crowley: Ah, oh what an astounding view…!

Kalim: Hey, Headmage! And [Yuu] and Grim! Thanks for coming to Scarabia today.

Kalim: Nothing makes me happier than being able to host valued guests!

Kalim: And I hope one day you guys will be able to come enjoy my home country of Scalding sands! …Whoops.

Kalim: Sorry, Carpet. I didn't mean to step th… Hey, don't shake me off!

Kalim: Woah, woah, I'm losing balance… Aaaah!

Kalim: I'm faaaaalling～～～!!!

???: WATCH OUT!!!!!

[SPLASH!]

Kalim: …That totally scared me. I accidentally fell into the fountain.

Kalim: …Hm? But I'm not injured…?

Kalim: …Ah, Jamil! I guess you must have used your wind magic to help slow my fall.

Kalim: Thanks a bunch. I didn't get hurt at all.

Jamil: I thought... M-My heart was going to stop… Ugh.

Kalim: But, oh man, I'm soaked… This is so terrible. Hahaha!!

Jamil: It's not something to laugh about. I was completely beside myself!

Jamil: …Come on, hurry up and get out of the fountain and dry yourself off.

[clapping]

Crowley: A miraculous rainfall that falls on the desert during a parade… I witnessed such beautiful magic.

Crowley: That was splendid, Kalim Al-Asim-kun!

Grim: Yeah, even the part where you jumped off the magical carpet got my heart pumping, it was so cool～!!

1. I don't think that was part of the plan… 2. That was really thrilling.

Crowley: It must have been very difficult for you to prepare everything for this, wasn't it?

Kalim: Nope, not at all. Right, Jamil?

Jamil: Yes, not at all.

Crowley: Asim-kun, your ability to lead everyone to successfully throw this amazing banquet is absolutely spectacular!

Scarabia Student A: That's right! Kalim-ryōchō is always thinking about the rest of us in the dorm…

Scarabia Student B: He's such a reliable guy!

Crowley: I see, I see.

Crowley: This was absolutely a thrilling experience. I've decided, my next vacation will be to the Scalding Sands!

Kalim: That's great! I'm super happy that you get just how awesome Scalding Sands is!

Kalim: And that's all thanks to the parade going off without a hitch. I'll have to make sure to thank all the animals later!

Requested by Anonymous.

[dyke-quixote]

twofer ask because some interesting things have been brought up and i didn't want to split my thoughts:

i think it'd be nice to see don considering regeneration as the only bloodfiend ability she lets herself use (outside of manager don, of course) because it means dante wouldn't have to turn back the clock on her if she's not dead. less pain for them. it'd be a noble thing to do, and it doesn't ruin the idea of living as a human fixer.

and on sansón, though i'm personally more intrigued than hungering for it, i am sincerely, genuinely surprised there has not been a fic between him and don/sancho yet. it might still be pseudo-incest but it's not "direct" like shipping any of the manchegans and we don't know what, if any, relationship he had with sancho before everything went down. and as you've said the potential fucked up power dynamic could be delicious. very slept upon.

also i'm not particularly into verg/don but i know in my heart of hearts that if she got the chance to get it on with him she'd do it in a heartbeat.

This is a THREEFER to me

100% yes!! Literally what I think about Don and her regeneration. She would definitely use it even subconsciously just to try and ease the burden on Dante. I also 100% believe that the only reason she was able to get to the back of the Warp Train was because of her regeneration. Sheer force of will triggering it past Rocinante. I think Rocinante is acting on Quixote's imprinted will and instincts, so it will allow her regeneration to act up even slightly when she's in trouble just because of his love and need to protect her.

Sanson isn't the same family and I hope we do get more information about him. I don't know what it is about Sancho that simultaneously makes me want to make her cry but also baby her. She's my milk webkinz. It's like Gubo and Yi Sang but more fun to me. Especially if I get to make it good ending Quixote AU and have him comfort Sancho 🥺

I have uh a lot of thoughts on Verg/Don and I put some on my uh other blog but here's some (this also applies somewhat to Sanson)

Vergilius having fucked her a lot before canto 7 because he knew she was one of the few people he didn't have to hold back with and she made him feel Bloodfiend Things and he got off on using his Color Title to make her do stuff and also using his Bloodfiend eyes to make her devotion and willingness to please even stronger.

Vergilius seeing if he could bring any little part of Sancho to the surface and getting off on every time he saw a slight hint of arrogance and brattiness in Don and then enjoying snuffing it out too much.

Vergilius definitely getting off on how sensitive she is to Bloodfiend pheromones and knowing what this meant she used to do with Quixote.

Don feeling what it's like to be fucked by a (half way kind of) higher kindred for the first time (to her memory) only to get her memories back and realize it wasn't as good as with Quixote so she tries to ignore the desire to crawl back to Vergilius after canto 7 because she knows he was fucking with her. But she can't resist and even just a little hint of that addictive sense of being fucked by a higher kindred is driving her mad. Vergilius having so much fun watching Sancho now submit to him.

[missterious-figure]

A little foul saw Void and got curious, so after carefully sipping away from the group of fouls the little one goes to her and lays down next to her.

"Haven't your caretakers taught you not to go need outsiders?..."

"Yep! Both Sunny and mom keep telling me to not go near them!"

"Then why are you laying next to me, little one? Don't you know I'm an outsider?..."

"No your one of us, apart of the herd! Right? I mean you've been following us and keeping up with the herd for a while so I thought you were apart of it. Plus if you were an outsider you would have been chased off my Moony or have attack me by now!"

"hm..."

Void seemed a little surprised by the fouls answer, almost seeming unsure.

"You are quite the observant one, aren't you.."

"Well don't tell Sunny this but when he is teaching something, I do get a little bored and look around a little...But don't tell him I said that!"

A small chuckle came from Void, "Don't worry...You secret is safe with me young one..."

"You very nice, how come you don't really go near the others? I mean I know some of the other centaurs in the herd like to be alone but they at least eat and sleep with the rest of the herd but you always stay very far away..."

This foul sure does talk a lot but the little one's question made Void hesitate for a moment.

"...I..Don't really think I belong in your herd, little fire lily"

"Why not? Also you gave me a nickname! That means you like me!"

Void smiled softly before slightly looking toward the celestial herd, "Well...I'm...I guess I simply just feel different...I rather not burden the herd with my presence..."

'I rather not be hunted or abandoned again..' Void mumbled that last bit to herself so that the foul didn't hear.

"You should go back to you little group, fire lily...I'm sure the one you call Sunny is worried..."

The foul squeaked in realization, "Oh your right! Bye it was nice to meet you! I'll tell the herd to hang out with you more.."

Void was about to say that the foul didn't have to but stops herself, she sighs and just watches as the fouls joins back into the herd.

The foul made Void question, 'Am I apart of the herd...or simply just a random burden following limply..." she thought to herself

(Sorry got bored and made a little thing)

Aww! What a cute little interaction!!! So sweet! And sad at the same time...

[sillyguy99]

* don't look now, but i lost my shoe.

(Undertale Sans x Reader)

Chapter Four: * that made them so violent?

[Index | Previous | Next]

               "I am not burdening you with my case until you relax for a moment, ma’am," Papyrus insists, narrowing his gaze at you. "You look sickly, if I am going to be honest. Have you had time to rest recently?"

               You stare at yourself through your phone's screen, sighing when you see darker circles under your eyes, a greenish tint to your skin, and dry lips. You’ve had to wear your buttons all the way up today, the marks Jessie left on your neck this morning still visible to the naked eye. While it was fortunate Frisk intervened yesterday, you couldn't exactly save yourself from his grasp this morning. You allowed him to leave marks on you to declare what happened yesterday was now behind you – that you were still his.

               "Thank you, but..." You trail off, incapable of finding an excuse right away. 

               Papyrus notices your reluctance, urging him to frown and intervene by placing a basket down on the dining table and offering a snack to eat. 

               “I…"

               "Are you the person my brother met at Grillby's?"

               Caught unprepared by his question, you stay still and nod, facing the floor.

               "Did he… tell you what happened?"

               "No," he replies, shaking his head once. "He said it is purely confidential. And I respect his reasons, as it seems this might be too personal." He offers you something to drink next, placing a cup down and filling it with your preferred choice to the brim. "He did tell me you looked quite… tired, however. He was afraid you would not make it home safely, if he left you alone."

               "Ah…" you mutter, hesitating. "I- I wasn't planning to do anything wild, though! I have Frisk to look after."

               "What do you mean by 'wild', ma'am? Were you just not fit for driving?"

               Trapped by your own words, you realize Papyrus might be less informed about that type of situation than you believe. A text notification interrupts your conversation with the monster, so you excuse yourself while he goes off to tend to the kitchen. Then, you look towards your phone to see three unread messages from the same person you've been thinking of.

hey.

before i say anythin' else…

is it alright if i keep textin' ya?

Of course.

Why wouldn't you?

'fraid you'd think i'd be hittin' on you again.

Oh God.

Did my husband tell you anything?

heh.

somethin' like that.

how'd you know?

He… thought we were flirting, as you said.

welp.

ya don't need to answer this, but-

-did he look through your phone?

askin' 'cuz he called me personally with his own phone number.

Something like that.

you ok?

is he the one you were gettin' drunk for?

I can't answer that.

Sorry.

Thanks again for listening to me back there, but…

It was a mistake.

Not in meeting you, but in having been so careless.

I'm a married mother, and I'm supposed to act like one.

It doesn't say good of me if I…

Well…

don't force yourself.

ya don't have to explain everything all at once.

'cuz it ain't like we've known each other for long.

take it slow.

Thank you.

I'm sorry he confronted you like this.

Did he say anything? Insulted you in any way?

if i tell ya, you'll just apologize for him.

I won't.

So please tell me if he did.

aight.

so…

for starters,

he said i was a bony bastard.

What.

How'd he know you're a skeleton?

he looked me up on overnet.

said he didn't know what you'd seen in me to, uh…

wanna 'jump my bones' so badly.

Dammit.

I'm sorry.

yer apologizin'.

…Sorry you went through that?

heh.

good save.

downright bone-fide.

Thank you.

Guess I'm bone with it.

nice.

ttyl.

Talk to you later, sir.

back with the 'sir', huh?

damn.

thought i'd passed by that line already.

Gotta get down to business.

I've still got my job to do.

good luck, buddy.

               "You seem a bit better now, ma'am," Papyrus comments, pulling you back to reality. "Did something good happen?"

               You set your phone down and sigh, a frown showing when you notice you've left Papyrus waiting more than you would want to. 

               He doesn't appear troubled by it, though, a pair of mittens and a tray letting you know he'd gone to fetch some more food while you were texting. 

               "Have something more to eat," he offers, bringing the tray closer to you. "You still look faint. Have you been eating well? Pastries are not exactly my fort, but these are Muffet's. I heated them up for you!"

               Thanking him, you grab a muffin from the bunch, a bit off-put by the spider topping – how realistic it looks urging you to pick it up and set it aside. Flavour blossoms in your mouth when you take the first bite, the warmth enriching its taste by double. The monster smiles when you do, offering you a different pastry as soon as you're done with that one.

               "Thank you, but I'm fine, sir. We should get back to your case."

               "If you insist, I will give you some of my files for you to handle at home and work at your own pace, but you should still bring some food with you. I would not forgive myself if I saw you in the same condition next week."

               "I'm really fine,” you state, widening your smile. “My job requires a strict diet. It's... It's to keep me in good shape."

               "Sickly is not a 'good' shape! You should search for a doctor, if your condition gets any worse."

               Suspicions at Papyrus feigning his innocence begin to fade when you stare deep into him. How he smiles at you without faltering makes you confident about him being one of your easier cases to deal with. He's already prepared a paper bag full of pastries, and he tops it all off by refilling your drink.

               "Even if you do not see me as a friend yet, I feel responsible for your well-being just as much as you are for mine. If you are here for my benefit, I should be there for you also!"

               "It's my job, sir."

               "I remain firm in my choice!"

               Disbelief makes you shake your head, and you promptly slip a pen from your shirt's pocket along with a small notebook, slipping past a few names until reaching his

               “Alright. Should we continue with your case, then? I promise I'll eat one more pastry before I leave, if we do."

               "Certainly. We have ourselves a deal, ma'am!"

• • • • •

               "You're no good," you hear Jessie say, heart racing at the sound of the bed creaking and a pair of footsteps stomp around. "Maybe you look like her, but you're not her. She knows me better than you."

               You hear him groan as a full thud sounds next. 

               He mutters a series of insults and curses, though the other person interrupts him with actual words. 

               "You didn't tell me you were married? I thought this was a one-night stand!"

               "And it is. I'm bored of you already."

               Another thud.

               "Well, I’m glad you are.”

               You're quick to hide when you hear footsteps approaching the door, finding the nearest place to see the woman Jessie claims to look like you. She arrives like a storm, a mirror-image of you in skin colour, body type, clothing style, and facial features. What keeps you separate are minor details easy to overlook at a first glance.

               As soon as the woman leaves, you feel arms wrap themselves around your waist. 

               Jessie's scent reaches your nose.

               He places his lips on the back of your neck, using his teeth to nip at your skin.

               "You- You have the balls to do this, even after I heard all that?!" 

               Your words are like an explosion, actions the same. 

               You snap out of his hold and meet face-to-face with him, a glare refusing to fall off your face. 

               "We had a deal! I've slept with you twice already, ev- even though the week's barely started, and yet you still go off and find yourself a one-night stand?!”

               "Whoa there," he intervenes, chuckling. "Calm down, Judy Hopps. You might just hurt my feelings."

               "Your feelings? What about mi-"

               This time, the thud is loud and clear, and it's not directed at the other woman. 

               You're faced with a panting Jessie, gaze lost in fury as he reaches for your throat, holding it tight.

    ��          "Did you forget who keeps this house standing, or do you need a reminder?”

               "Now's not the time to bring that stuff up. It's my turn to ask what the fuck you're doing."

               He's on the floor seconds after you say that.

               You keep him in a rough arm lock, pressing his cheek against the floor. 

               "You wouldn't dare try anything else, would you?” he taunts, smugness in his tone. “Domestic abuse is easier to track more than cheating. Don't you think so? You could go run off and yap aaalll about what happened here, but I'll be the one with the marks, Hopps.” He stops to huff. “Figured someone like you would know better, though you still have a chance to back off.”

               You remain in place, firm in your choice. 

               He's kept pressed to the ground, yet your hold falters the longer you stare at him.

               "You've got everything to lose, honey. A traitor, a negligent mother, and a power-abusive detective. Add in those texts you get from that boney dude, and you'd be labeled as the one who cheated first."

               "I never did anything with him, and you know it."

               "Really?" He squirms under your hold, making you let go to allow him some space and pick up some crumpled papers from his pocket. "I'd say these pictures tell a different story."

               He grins while you snatch the pictures off his grasp, unveiling them to see wrinkled, grainy captures of your drunken night at Grillby's, displaying the worst timing possible for each of all four pictures. In the first one, Sans has his hands placed on your shoulders, keeping you steady while you rest your face against his neck. It's clear by the distance he keeps between you it's not an affair by any means, although its poor quality is enough to create second opinions. The next picture displays him placing a jacket over your shoulders. The third and fourth ones are you getting off his brother's convertible with him, and of you heading towards his home, walking side-by-side with him.

               "Does he do it better than me? You were never desperate enough to come over to my place for that kinda stuff. Does his magic swoon you over or something?"

               "Y- You know he only helped me get home safe," you insist, voice strained with how much it raises. “I can tell by that look on your face.”

               "Did he, really? I bet you've been screwing every monster you've got as a client.”

               And with that, you let him go.

               He stands up, brushes himself clean, and walks off to the exit.

               “I'll be waiting for your apology,” he says, as the door closes. “You have until tonight. Make it count.”

               There's the sound of him starting the car, then him driving off.

               Peace – though momentary – allows the hard strain in your chest to fade with a soft breath.

[Index | Previous | Next]

[thegothingtons]

The next day is Winterfest and Nasia's birthday. But in the morning Benjamin received an unexpected visitor.

Alden came by unannounced.

Meanwhile, Clementine took care of Liora and Nasia, so that her father could talk to her brother in peace.

Benjamin: "A nice surprise to see you."

Alden grumbled to himself. "Of course. Imagine my surprise when I realized that you had moved out. Without a word, mind you."

Benjamin: "Yes, I should have talked to you before. However, I didn't want to burden you even more. Sorry, my mistake."

Alden: "What do you mean? No longer burden."

Benjamin smiled sadly. "I think you've got enough on your plate at the moment. Your job takes up a lot of your time, which is why you have little time for your family. In addition, you took responsibility for Grace after Bridgette's death. All of this affects your marriage and your relationship with your wife. Your daily quarrels can hardly be overheard. You are both no longer happy. In addition, my life is coming to an end and Nasia is still very small. I doubt you'll take care of her when I'm gone." He paused and looked at his son. The latter gritted his teeth. "That's why I thought it would be best if I gave you space and you could sort out your things in peace and quiet without further disturbances."

Alden had a hard time keeping his anger in check. "I am the future Viscount, the head of the family. It is ordained by my inheritance that I will take care of your bastard as soon as you die."

His words hit Benjamin hard. It was time for the truth. "Then you will certainly be pleased to hear that I have made another arrangement in this regard."

Benjamin:." It is correct that you inherit the title, the estates in Windenburg and Ciudad Enamorada as well as most of the family fortune, so everything material in the sim world."

Alden's face twisted with anger.

Benjamin: "However, the magic in our bloodline, the memory of who we are, what makes us the Gothingtons, will be preserved by Clementine. Which is why I left her the memory box. This means that you, together with your sister, hold the place of the head of the family. So now it's her job to take care of Nasia when I'm gone. Which, as I may remark, she also takes on with joy."

Alden roars away. "You're not serious?!"

Benjamin: "Yes. I'm completely serious."

Alden: "You make me look like a joke figure through it. Society will tear its mouth apart about it. You expose the name Gothington to ridicule. Do you realize that?"

Benjamin: "My boy, our actions determine our reputation within society, not gossip. And if you think people see you as a joke, then put your own house in order, reflect on your behavior, your actions."

Alden jumped to his feet in anger.

Benjamin: "I inherited titles and had nothing because your grandfather gambled everything away and drunk. The reputation and fortune have been rebuilt with hard work. This is my legacy. Will you be able to carry on this legacy on your own?"

His son trembled, his hands trembled. But he remained silent.

Benjamin: "I doubt it too."

*******

Some time later ...

Alden had long since left.

Benjamin woke Nasia, it was time for her birthday.

Clementine had baked a winter party cake for her.

Happy birthday, little sunshine! 🎉

Perhaps in the future, she will be able to reconcile with Alden. Who knows.

[nightcandles]

burn a candle, not yourself

I believe in the power of detachment and letting go, I know it has never been easy, not because you’re overly attached, but rather because you genuinely believe that person is the right one for you. They may be the sweetest and most heartwarming people in the world, and you have the potential to be just as sweet and nice. However, things don’t always unfold and work out as we hope. It all boils down to the connections, effort, and love, which cannot be forced.

You’re probably holding onto that one person because you believe you won’t find another like them. But here is the truth: if you don’t let go of those who don’t reciprocate your efforts and love, you won’t be able to find a genuine and authentic connection.

I'm genuinely sorry if they are disappointing you and somehow made you feel unappreciated. I've been there, so I understand exactly how this makes one feel, you're not alone. Your beautiful heart deserves pure and sincere love, please be aware of your worth. I know you're holding onto some people because you love deeply, and genuinely believe that things and people will someday change, and you'll finally get to what you've always imagined. You think that if you love harder, give more, or try one more time to fix things, they might eventually meet you halfway. Hear me love, you did enough. And what has happened has definitely happened for a reason. I know that these are the last things you want to hear and I know how drained your soul is right now.

I know your heart, and I see that you're always the one who stays, wanting to prove that if you don't let go of someone, they won't let go of you either. You hold on because you don't want to feel the guilt of abandoning someone. You've always wanted to prove that love can conquer all obstacles. You yearn for that person with whom you can share dreams, see the world from a different perspective, and embrace a profound sense of safety. You've always wanted someone with whom you can share both the ups and downs of life, and when times get tough, you believe in giving your best, communicating, and finding solutions together. But will they do the same?

I'm sorry for those times when everything felt one-sided, and for those days when you realized it’s not about the communication but instead, it’s all bout the comprehension that matters. Yet, you don't want to give up, not on the person specifically but on that beautiful thing you see within them. I can feel you, I am all these feelings, honey. But despite all of the lovely things you feel, please never let this burden your beautiful heart. We want to keep it safe. Don't ignore how someone makes you feel about yourself just to keep them around. Don't demand more than what it can currently offer. Instead, appreciate it for what it was, value the lessons it taught you, and cherish the beauty you experienced.

Dear you, I’m deeply sorry for not being able to free you from this cycle. I wish there was something I could do to help you break free. I wholeheartedly pray that your heart will one day receive the love it deserves, just as deeply and beautifully as you love others.

10/Jun/2023

-awinn

[carnavalesque]

𝓜𝔂 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮,

It feels surreal, to write you for Valentine's Day. I think I can kinda see why the kids call us their parents - and yet, I still feel giddy when I'm with you, as if we were teenagers all over again.

You would've hated teenager-me, by the way. You probably would've tried to bear my burden on your shoulders, and I wouldn't have let you. We've always been too stubborn for our own good anyway.

This letter won't be very long. I do believe I don't need to write you a dozen words for you to understand how much I love you. I don't want to sound arrogant, but I know for a fact that I do show you, daily, how much I love you. And truth be told, you show it to me everyday, too.

The other reason why the letter won't be long is also the same reason why I'm writing it in the first place. Right now, you're at work (and not me, because you are a tyrant of a boss who forces me to take days off), and I am at home with Lio. Your son is probably the most incredible gift life gave you. And yet, you gave it to me, too.

I know I'll never replace her. I don't even want to try to be her. But knowing you've made place for me, in your family, in your heart, that when I go to sleep next to you, at night, is after Lio insisted on me reading him a bedtime story... that's all I could ever ask for. You've given me my dream, without even realizing it.

You're not just a man. You're a hero. It's about damn time you realize that. Because you saved all of us, one way or another. And it's probably the thing I'm the most grateful for you, you know.

Because you saved me.

And for that, sweetheart, I love you.

𝓨𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓫𝓪𝓫𝔂.

𝓓𝓮𝓪𝓻 𝓯𝓾𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓮 𝓱𝓾𝓼𝓫𝓪𝓷𝓭,

I am afraid I won't be able to call you anything else moving forward. How much do you think I'm allowed to do it, before it becomes annoying? I mean, I cannot escape it - it rolls off of my tongue way too nicely, this word. Husband. You carry that title very well.

I hope I can be a pretty good wife, too.

We've always been together, one way or another. Best friends, confidents, partners, it didn't matter what title we had, it was just us. And I knew, early on, that it was all that I'd be needing in my life. You were all that was needed.

These days, considering my sleep is getting a lot better, I dream a lot. About the future. About us. About Japan, too. You promised me we'd go there, once everything is settle. I am aware it should be terrifying, diving into the unknown. But truth be told? I can't wait.

I am so excited for everything we have to discover, together, and all of the next steps to come. I think I can never be scared anymore, with you by my side.

Forever yours,

𝓨𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝔀𝓲𝓯𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓫𝓮.

𝓜𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓵𝓮𝓲𝓷𝓮,

It's been years since you've left, now. It's not the first time I've written a letter to you. It's probably the first one I'm writing knowing you could actually read it. Before that, I used to write everything about you, as if we never moved on, as if you were still my girl, and not doing whatever was making you happy, somewhere in the world.

This time, it's different. This time, you're back.

Letting go of you was the hardest thing I've ever done. I don't think I actually did, if I'm being honest. I kept looking for you, somehow. In every woman, in every interaction I had, I was still always looking for you. You're not just a woman I've loved. You're the love of my life. And the boys, one day, said it had to be exhausting, waiting for you to come back in my life.

It wasn't. I knew, deep down, that if the universe had our side, it would bring us back together, one way or another. And it did. At last, it did.

I don't entirely know where we stand, from now on. We're not who we used to be. And even if sometimes, I wish we still were the careless teenagers we used to be, I think I love this version of you more. Like a flower, you've bloomed into the most perfect woman that could ever grace the Earth. More than my love, what you have is my pride.

I'm so proud of you. Of your journey. Of who you became.

I don't know yet if I'll send that letter to you. I'm still battling with myself, not knowing if reminiscing about the past is the best thing to do. But well. My past is you. And so is, I hope, my future.

Love you, always,

𝓢𝓮𝓸𝓫.

𝓜𝔂 𝓛𝓪𝓭𝔂𝓫𝓾𝓰,

This is probably the safest way for me to declare my love for you. I mean, I'll still embarrass myself, that's a given, but at least, I won't endanger you, or myself, by doing so, and a win is a win I guess? (don't laugh, but I did cut my fingers with the paper. some things don't change.)

I know my clumsiness is endearing to you - I don't think you realize how much you make it worse. Before you, it was just pure bad luck. Now, it's because you're too damn distracting. With your pretty face, and your charming smile, and your overall captivating aura, how could I not be distracted by you, all of the time?

You don't have to do one single thing, too. It's like you're always stuck in my head. Not a minute goes by when I don't think about you. I think it's borderline obsessive. Minseok calls it cute and romantic, but I don't trust a word that come off of that man's mouth.

I worry, sometimes, that I might be too much for you to handle - believe me, I am trying to be on my best behavior everytime I'm near you. You're like a petal, so delicate, so fragile, I could never dream of hurting you or burden you. But you're relentless in your love for me. And I think that's why I love you, too.

Forever stuck in my head, I won't ever get bored of our love.

𝓨𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓫𝓵𝓪𝓬𝓴 𝓬𝓪𝓽.

𝓢𝓪𝓻𝓪,

𝓢𝓪𝓻𝓪,

This will be very awkward. If you must know the truth, I didn't plan on writing you any letter for Valentine's Day. Excuse my inexperience, but I was very adamant on the fact that flowers would suffice you. Dare I say... Thomas didn't agree. Now, I'm not saying he put a knife under my throat, but I'm kinda convinced the only reason he did not was because he didn't actually have a knife.

He's right about something, tho, and it's that I should never get satisfied with the little things when it comes to you. You deserve the grand gestures, and the demonstrations of love, and every word in the book to tell you how much I love you. I fear I'm still a bit too shy to do it all. But please, do not believe it is because I do not care about you.

As embarrassing as it is to admit, I am, simply, a weak man. I don't truly know how to function when it comes to you. D'you know it took me months to be able to say "Hi" without having to rehearse it in my head? As Tom once said "Damn, all of that IQ and for what?" I fear you render me a bit stupid. You're a bit too pretty for me to be coherent, most of the times. Truly a goddess among us, mere mortals.

I mean, we've all known by now how weak I can be, don't we all?

But if being weak means I get to love you, forever? I think I'm fine with that.

With all of my love,

Forever,

𝓜𝓲𝓷𝓶𝓲𝓷.

𝓜𝔂 𝔀𝓲𝓯𝓮,

It feels surreal, to be honest, that we jumped directly onto marriage. I'm pretty sure my mom almost died when I told her. It's not like I wanted to do that stupid show in the first place. But I can never say I regret it. I mean, how else was I supposed to find you?

The images hadn't been released yet, so I can, somehow, save myself of the embarrassment of you watching how horrendously down bad I was for you. Ever since the first interaction, actually. You said hi, and I'm pretty sure I had heart eyes already. It's your voice, I think. Didn't need to see your face to know you were that angelic.

Well, then I saw you, and of course, you are an absolute angel.

Back to what I was saying, it feels quite weird to be married already. And yet, if I have to be honest, it's not scary in the slightest? You fit into every aspect of my life so easily. Just like, I hope, I fit in yours. It's like it makes sense. Sure, it's not traditional, but I don't think I've done one thing the normal way my whole life anyway. Maybe, at the end, it just does make sense that even my life with you would be unconventional.

And yeah, I might have won some golden trophies and gold medals in my life. But rest assured, none of them shine brighter than you, my little stars.

Happy to be forever yours,

𝓜𝓲𝓬𝓱𝓲𝔂𝓪.

𝓓𝓮𝓪𝓻 𝓜𝓲𝓷𝓳𝓲,

This might be a pretty short letter. You know I'm not one to dwelve too much into my feelings. Not that I feel it's necessary to hide them either - maybe that's why I know I won't write a lot. You already know the best thing about me anyway. You.

You're way too pure for me. I've told you that, countless times. I don't want you to tarnish your brightness by being associated with me. But I think it's safe to say now that there is absolutely nothing I wouldn't do for you. It's common sense, somehow. Who wouldn't want to protect you from every wrong in the world?

This might be my only purpose in life, in the end. I thought I was made to fight for my name, for everything my family represent. Foolish of me. I was simply meant to love you, and cherish you, as much as you want me to do so. This is why I don't feel like telling you in hundred words how much you matter to me.

My actions, as quiet as they seem, would express my love loudly enough for me.

I love you, and that's final.

𝓙𝓾𝔀𝓸𝓷.

𝓛𝓸𝓲𝓼,

Finally, we meet again, stranger.

I believe I have to start this letter by an apology. I didn't notice you, when we were younger. I was too absorbed by everything else - and when you could've needed me, when you could've used anything that would hold you above water, I ran away. I guess I'm a bitch for that. I guess I need to build myself back, before anything else.

It sure does come with regret, but it also makes me consider that, had I stayed, we would've never become who we are right now. I think we would've consumed each other, if you get what I mean. We weren't right for each other, at that time. Not like we are now. I could've never offered you the support I can give to you now, had I stayed.

I would've never deserved you, the way I do now.

The both of us know that grief won't magically disappear. It's just sometimes lighter on our shoulders - but I like to think that now, we've built something for ourselves outside of Leo's shadow. He's not hauting us. It's just you, and me. And let me tell you - I'm not sure of a lot of things, but I know, for a fact, that we are the greatest thing that could've happened to the other. You are it for me, actually.

Thank god for the right moment, right time.

With all of my heart,

𝓢𝓮𝓸-𝓗𝓮𝓮.

[cozycheeto]

January 21, 2025 💕 ♾️ The love is loving.

Is this what forever feels like?

Last night we went on our nightly walk and was just catching up on stuff. I was telling him because of my new meds and needing 30g of protein in the AM, there's a certain breakfast i make every morning. Well this morning, he surprised me with breakfast in bed. He told me he wrote it in his notes on how i prepared it so he could make it this AM. Yo, i'm geeked.

My baby has been grinding the past few months. Literally every day this man has work (fieldwork + part-time job) and still beautifully holds space for this relationship. We are not perfect nor do i ever feel like that's the barometer i hold this relationship against, but he's a good soul who truly tries and wants to make thing work. Deep down, he's just a soul who wants to love deeply and kindly.

I'm an overthinker and had brought up early on in our relationship that I thought i needed more space to work on myself. I'm a runner. It's bad. When things feel too good to be true, I'm like okay when is the earthquake gonna happen? Where's the gotcha moment? (This is something I'm proactively working on in therapy.) I opened up about my family stuff and without falter, he holds me tightly and says he might not have all the answers but he promised to love me through it all. I know that the love i grew up with is something that's not duplicative of what i have now. That the love I witnessed has conditioned my worries and fears but also helped me realize that love grows and changes based on me now and the partner I choose to be with. What i can bring into this relationship.

At my headspace now, I'm not looking for a good time. For surface-level connection. For a nice-to-have because i've been single for awhile. I want a partner who against all trauma and anxieties, we stand together. I had a moment recently when I looked at him and thought damn, i really love this guy. My depressive emotions kicked in hard that day and I wasn't feeling too hot - and I remember just surrendering. I'm just like i don't know what to do, i feel so low. And after i shared that, he brought me out of it. And had a little mini-date. I think for me and i know folks who have depressive episodes, it's hard to not think you're a burden cause it feels like i am. But i suppose it is also true that life is meant to be experienced with others, with community.

END-OF-THE-DAY UPDATE: The surprises didn't stop there. I wanted a cute notebook for my work notes and here he goes again with the thoughtfulness. We went to a stationary store and he bought me this personalized notebook.

I am so thankful for this love. Thank you God for sending me this man. I get to live this life with my best friend. And I'll try my damn hardest to take care of it.

This is a reminder for present day Kristine. Focus on the goodness and support this love brings. Stop considering the what-ifs, the worries, or what happened in my past - and giving that space. You know what you have. And you have what you've been needing.

Love yours.

[stardust-in-my-mind-blog]

the worst kind of job

it's felt for so damn long like I was born

working in a restaurant where my role since coming out

of the chaos portal that ended up being my mother

was a role to serve and I was only accepted if I played it

and so often I would find a way to put my heart

on a platter and decorate it in ways that I somehow just knew

would please everyone but myself because well

if I pleased myself I guess my heart would have always

been on fire or something but the kind that only burns

other people who want to eat your heart for the wrong reasons

and we can't have that because I was born to serve

I was born to be something that someone else wanted

but only as long as I played the role right

oh right that's now how I'm supposed to live life?

you mean I finally learned how to mask everything

just to realize I was supposed to be treasured for what I was?

what a fucking clusterfuck because I'm wholly out of practice

I'm used to watching people eat my decorated heart and

complain about something arbitrary and out of my control

like it's not beating the right rhythm or you know

if only I could have bathed myself in boiling sugar water

just to make myself a little sweeter because I taste

awful salty lately and dear can't you just tone down

how spicy you are when all your boundaries are crossed?

please complain a little less about how I'm consuming you

you know if I would have cooked my heart to the perfect

medium rare my mother still would have asked for ketchup

it's difficult knowing just how much of my issues

resolve around a sabotage I was taught was just part

of existence for someone like me but not everyone else

once you take on the role of the scapegoat the habits die hard

and usually you never quite picked that role for yourself

and it takes a couple cycles of taking on that burden

unconsciously to realize you've shrugged into it

I'm tired and upset and unfortunately I can't shake

all this anger and grief and whatever the fuck else

I have swimming inside of me today but it's nice to know

that my heart doesn't need the fire now

just a little bit of electricity when something is going down

in my life that I don't particularly like and I can even say it

and people can be mad and disappointed and downright ugly

and that's no longer my responsibility

even now I've added a new step to my anger where I

suddenly start laughing and then tell whomever

I'm interacting with that I am laughing because I'm angry

and as of now my emotions are regulated and listening to me

but if we continue this conversation or you keep looking at me

like that I'm going to have to make this situation very

uncomfortable and not productive at all and I'm pretty

committed to experiencing either one because one thing

about the way I've been living is that it makes me

really comfortable feeling embarrassed and awkward

because it's mostly all I knew outside of singing songs

or reading books and somehow living inside my mind

because the world outside of it made no fucking sense

basically, I don't mind fucking up this situation

or a relationship where I feel devalued or unheard

I'm very into fucking around and finding out now

so what is it going to be because I'll let you lead here

doesn't my that heart look delicious?

don't you want to take a big hungry bite?

[drarrily-we-row-along]

The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known (Part Three)

Draco was itching to see Potter, desperately curious to know what he might learn next about the other man.

And, if he was being honest, a bit desperate to see if Potter would let him touch him again. Nothing untoward, just... it had felt nice to let his fingers tangle in Potter's curls, to know that his hands were helping instead of hurting.

He found himself, for possibly the first time ever, leaving early to arrive at Potter's house for movie night. The normal hum of anxiety, making his skin a hint too tight, seemed to have been reduced to a mere pinprick in the trips of his fingers at the prospect of learning more about Potter.

When he showed up in the living room, Potter was nowhere to be seen. Casually, he greeted everyone who made eye contact on his way through, heading to the kitchen, hoping to find Potter there.

He pushed the door open, and there he was, standing on the other side of the island, working diligently at several different spreads of food. "Gin, can you grab the olives from the-" he said before looking up and seeing Draco standing there. "Draco," he said in surprise and something pleasant flared in his stomach at the sound of his name in Potter's mouth, "err. Malfoy," he corrected, trying to look anywhere but at him. "Sorry. I thought-"

"I can help," he said, moving toward the cupboard and pulling down the can of olives.

"You're a guest," he argued.

Draco shrugged, "I'm woefully single and," he added, lowering his voice and raising an eyebrow, "Ginerva and Pansy seemed rather busy when I walked through a moment ago."

Potter groaned, "not the mental image I needed right now." He shook his head, "Well, if you don't mind would you grab that punch bowl from the counter?"

"Still hung up on Ginerva?" he asked casually as he moved to get the red punch bowl for the other man.

"Pfft," Potter snorted as he set out the juice, ginger ale, and gin on the top of the island. "Don't be ridiculous. We're friends, when I say she's like a sister to me, I genuinely mean it."

He hummed, something easing in his chest at the admission, he wasn't going to look too hard at that.

"What about you and Pansy?" Potter asked, glancing up at him before going back to measuring liquid in the punch bowl.

"What about us?"

Potter lifted a shoulder, "Ever feel like you might want that again?"

"With Pansy?" he asked incredulously. "Disgusting."

Laughing, Potter replied, "you didn't used to seem to think so, all that lounging in her lap and having your hair stroked."

"Potter, I don't know what I have ever done to give you the impression that I am attracted to women. Aside from being a touch and affection starved teenager, apparently."

At that, Potter looked up at him, blinking a few times, "You're gay?"

"Yes?" he replied. "I thought literally everyone knew that." He glanced down where Potter was still pouring gin into the punch, "You're overflowing your bowl," he said.

"Huh?" Potter asked, still staring at him uncomprehendingly.

"Your punch bowl," he said, nodding at it, "You're overflowing."

Potter followed his gaze, "Shit," he gasped, ceasing pouring and casting a quick charm to clean up the spill.

Draco cleared his throat uncertainly, it had been a long time since he'd felt anything akin to embarrassment about his sexuality.

"Sorry," Potter said, glancing up at him. "I didn't mean to-"

"You apologize a lot," Draco commented.

Potter tilted his head, "I put my foot in my mouth a lot," he said.

He chuckled, "I suppose, but you also apologize for existing."

His jaw clicked shut, clenching. "I don't know what you mean."

Draco realized that he'd stumbled onto something seemingly sensitive without exactly meaning to. "I mean," he said carefully, "That you've apologized to me for being surprised about something, for having basic human needs like someone to help with all of the work of hosting a party every week, for not knowing who was walking in your kitchen, for telling me about your life as though it's some sort of burden-"

"You sound like my therapist," Potter said, shoulders tense. He avoided making eye contact and Draco felt his heart twist uncomfortably.

Potter had been honest with him, had handed Draco little bits of himself like a gift. Taking a deep breath, he decided to return the sentiment with a little vulnerability of his own. "Yes, well," he said, voice light, "I've spent enough time with mine to know what one sounds like."

The other man tilted his head at Draco, "I didn't know you saw a therapist."

"No one does," he said with a shrug. "But I needed to," he continued. "I was really fucked up after the war, still am if I'm being honest. He helps me straighten out my thoughts, you know? Get things into order a bit."

Potter nodded, "Yeah. I get that."

He gave the other man a tentative smile, "So," he said, intent on changing the subject, "What needs to go out there?"

"Oh, none of it," Potter said, waving a hand. "This is all stuff to refill later. Sometimes we get busy playing games or I don't want to miss the movie," he hurried to add like his needed an excuse. "Plus at the beginning of the night, I feel like I'm intruding," he added, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Oh come now, Potter," he teased, "Don't you simply love being the third wheel?"

The other man laughed, "Or fourth in the case of Ron, Hermione, and Blaise."

"And who doesn't love the lectures about putting yourself out there more?"

He nodded, "Or the pitying, 'you're next.'" he added with a shudder. "Merlin I hate that."

"So, instead of enduring their advice and pity, you were hiding in the kitchen-"

"I wasn't hiding!" he protested, but he was laughing, eyes bright.

Draco continued like he hadn't been interrupted, "-and doing what exactly?"

"Daydreaming," Potter replied, a little shyly, tipping his head down and glancing up at Draco from under his eyelashes.

"Anything interesting?"

Potter shook his head, "Never. They're all terribly mundane-"

"Tell me?" he asked softly, barely daring to hope the other man might because the truth was that both of the daydreams Potter had given him had made him feel more feelings than he could even name.

He tilted his head again, looking curiously at Draco. "There's this one I have in the kitchen a lot, actually," he said, voice soft, wrapping Draco up in the cozy, casual intimacy of a soft confession.

Draco sat down on the stool across from Potter and leaned his chin in his hand to listen.

Bemused, Potter continued, "It's just this daydream of him coming into the kitchen, seeing that I'm working on something that I'm not particularly enjoying, and putting his hands over mine. Sometimes it's dishes, or cooking, or cleaning up, or prep work," he said gesturing to the counter full of things to be brought out later. "But he gently empties my hands and holds them in his as he turns he around to look at him."

He said nothing when Potter paused, waiting with baited breath for him to complete the picture.

With a little shake of his head Potter continued, "I expect that he'll kiss me and I lean my body into his to receive one but he just pulls me into his arms and dances me around the kitchen. We sway and turn to music that only he can hear and I don't mind not being able to anticipate where he'll lead. It's nice just to be held and cared for," he finished with a little shrug.

"You've got a lovely mind," Draco murmured, because it was true and he really enjoyed hearing about the ways that he daydreamed.

"It's a trauma response," Potter replied, matter-of-factly.

"Sorry?"

He shrugged, eyes on Draco's left ear as he said, "I learned how to dissociate when I was pretty young. I was always trying to imagine a better world than the one I lived in as a child," he added. "So I just got good at imagining things that made me feel better."

"What were you trying to dissociate from?" he asked as the door to the kitchen opened.

Potter's attention snapped away from Draco and to whomever had just entered the kitchen, "Hi Blaise," he said with a smile. "What are you looking for?"

"You, actually," he replied as he sidled up next to Draco. "We were wondering about getting a game of Exploding Snap going?"

"Yeah," Potter said, grinning at him, "No problem. I'll be out in a sec to get the cards."

Blaise rapped his knuckles on the table, "You're the best," he said with a wink before he disappeared.

Potter turned to look at Draco, "Sorry-"

"Why?" he interrupted.

"Why what?"

"Why are you sorry?"

His brow furrowed as he looked at Draco, "I just trauma dumped on you."

"You didn't," he replied. "Why are you sorry?" he pushed.

"Because I spent five minutes talking about a daydream that wasn't even based in reality."

"I asked you to," he replied steadily. "Why are you sorry?"

"Why are you pushing me?" he asked, hands on his hips as he scowled at Draco.

He shrugged, "Because I want you to stop apologizing for being a person."

"I-"

"Harry!" Ron bellowed from the other room and Draco could have strangled him.

"For Merlin's sake," he hissed under his breath. "Yes, coming!" he called. "Fine," he snapped at Malfoy, "I'm not sorry. Is that better?"

"Much," he replied with a smirk.

"You're impossible," Potter replied but the corner of his mouth was turned up in a pleased smile.

He nodded, "I know, if you ask Pansy it's probably one of the reasons I'm single," he said with a wink.

Potter picked up one of the bowls of chips, "Really?" he asked. "I find it rather charming," he said before pushing his way out into the living room.

Draco had to stand in the kitchen and pick his jaw up off the floor before he found himself able to leave the kitchen and join everyone else.

-------------------

(Part Two) | (Part Four)

[nochi-quinn]

legend of vox machina season 2 episode 8: echo tree OR more like incel tree amirite

sam is the "nice melons" npc bc of course he is

imagine the twins using their old tricks to duck the guards and it doesn't work bc that was over a decade ago

hello Elf Guard Matt

"we're his children" (derogatory)

"I've known many people with money and titles. They are definitely not worth you."

VELORA

the twins are not immune to velora and neither am I

"your father will be pleased to see you" I doubt that

"if you'd notified me you'd be gracing us with your presence" has this man never heard of an emergency

"if you've come for my money - or my goats - I don't have any!" wilhand

"real vestments!" I don't know why that's so adorable to me but here we are

"did you forget to eat??" eating is one of the three things grog actually knows how to do

"hi, pop-pop. I fucked up" me every time I call my parents

"what can syngorn do for you?" directed very specifically at percy, fuck everybody else

oh I just realized he's probably shitty about keyleth too, since she's also a half-elf

a second-generation half-elf, at that

my partner: does he not realize vax is wearing deathwalker's ward me: he doesn't care, that's human shit

"do you have any idea the burden your sudden arrival has caused my family?" I regret to inform you that this is in fact also your family

and now we know what role vex played in this emotional abuse hellpit

"you might just wanna avert your eyes" she literally confirmed that grog's dick didn't get acided off for him

if that's how scanlan 'works both ends' I am terribly sorry for any of his partners

it took me three watches to realize he's whistling Pull My Beads Of Love

percy spending that whole meeting trying desperately to figure out which House he could give to Vex without Cass shanking him

"what does 'fuck you' mean?" little pitchers have big ears

(didn't they on-purpose teach her the word 'shit' in the campaign)

if we get byroden flashbacks are they gonna be exu-compliant

"somehow I feel like it hurt me more" relationships! with! abusive! parents! are! complicated!

ew, tree gunk

he finally called her stubby, I can die happy

I knew where they were going as soon as he said "stimulation"

big "not a good enough reason to use the word 'penetrate'" energy

I enjoy Transition Frog

garmelie: don't submit to his voice vex, already extremely emotionally compromised: ✔✔

look, I don't claim to be a perfect parent, but I don't think I could look at something a child made for me with their own two tiny little hands and just casually break it in front of them

not even just my child. any child.

yeah, come to think of it, even vax doesn't Get It, bc he never wanted syldor's approval, or at least got over the want very quickly.

(fun fact, every time I type or say "syldor" I have to force myself not to say "isildur"

look at this. this is insane. I'm obsessed with this shot.

the feywild is using all of percy's black powder, he better hope victor survived.

I'm glad we got the "if I could pull the blood of him from my veins" line but it was so, so good when she was yelling it at her dad

vax now is not the time to ask keyleth to touch your butt

"dear broken vex'ahlia" if the word 'broken' is literally in your proposal there might be something fucked up about it mb

vex: my heart is someone else's percy: oh? do I know them?

incel tree saundor

"how do you fight a tree?" with a druid

I reluctantly admit him making the arrows out of his palm is pretty cool

I also love a good upside-down arrow shot

vex Jungle Sliding for her life

god I love keyleth so much

the way it springs open inside the stab wound is A+

mala: of course it survived, bc percy 100% expected her to stab a man with it

"he is who he's always been" "I know. and so am I." I am foaming at the mouth over this, at vex knowing she needs to work on parts of herself before she can actually confront her dad

there is SO MUCH nuance and middle ground between "still being actively abused" and "full no-contact" but it's more viscerally satisfying to show the Salt The Earth Behind You fight instead of the long, slow, painful work of attempting reconciliation

tl;dr reconciliation is a thing and I wish more stories used it even though it's complicated and subjective

"I usually hate the theater"

"how did that appear? how did tvs just appear? and really old tvs, based on the make and the year?"

this motherfucker

"he killed me with them" grog backstory GROG BACKSTORY

westruun is my favorite arc okay, I apologize for nothing