#you're the most important person in my life

[lila-walker]

If you're aro and someone tells you that you'll never the most important person in someone's life they are LYING TO YOU because whenever I imagine any sort of future for myself I always need to ask myself where my one aro friend is in it because if they aren't there then what's the point

I wish I could shake every aro person who's sad that they'll never be the most important person in anyone's life by the shoulders THERE IS HOPE FOR US THERE IS HOPE FOR US THERE IS HOPE FOR US I swear I am living proof that you can absolutely be the human equivalent of fucking sunshine in another person's life with no romance involved but you gotta let them see you first

[gublernatural]

for pop star!reader, bringing him to the grammys perchance? i think it would be silly <3

i love this so im skipping ahead to post-situationship into full blown relationship stage with them <3 my fave duo (also reader is def inspired by my girl t swizzle at award shows and im not sorry about it.)

"you're sure?" you asked one more time, just before the car doors were to open. spencer, whose face was almost as red as the dress you were wearing, sent you an eager nod.

he was torn; stuck between being excited to be by your side, but terrified to be in such a public space. there were days where he was still in awe that he has been able to meet, fall in love with, and now date such a strong, hard-working lady, but days like today he is reminded how much the whole world has come to love his lover.

"then, let's go," you smiled at him, ushering him to step out of the car. he obliged, then reached his hand towards you, helping you out. "thank you," you smiled at him, quickly, and then guided him to the building’s entrance. you waved at your supporters as you walked, still marveling at the impact you’ve been able to make.

you two ended up being split, spencer dragged away to your designated table and you to the red carpet. you took photos and completed interviews as quickly as you could without being impolite. you couldn’t help but feel like you were longing to be back with spencer. despite all of the fun you were able to have, everything just felt better when he was around.

“there you are,” you smiled as you finally made your way to your seat. “how was the carpet?” he asked, sliding your chair out for you. you shrugged in response, turning your attention to the first performer to take the stage.

spencer spent most of the show watching you with starstruck eyes. it was evident, even to those watching from home, how deeply in love spencer truly was with you. there was a literal sparkle in eye as you danced along to each performer, completely and totally enjoying yourself. this was the happiest you'd been in a while. you felt pretty, were at a celebration, and had your favorite person in the world by your side. spencer being in a fancy suit that matched your dress and having his hair professionally done had nothing to do with it, of course.

"this was is yours, right?" spencer whispered into your ear as his arm slipped around your waist. he held you close in anticipation as they introduced your category: best new artist.

this was the biggest moment of your career thus far. sure, awards weren't everything to you, but being recognized for the work you'd put out in somewhere as important as the grammy's would feel so good. you nodded, anxiously, trying to use spencer's proximity to ground you. you hoped the camera that cut to you while you were being named amongst your competitors could see the nerves that were coursing through your veins.

"and the winner is," victoria monet, last year's winner, announced. the world around you turn to static as your name was called into the mic. spencer was up before you were, cheering. tears welled in your eyes, overcome with pride and gratefulness. you hugged spencer and your producer, before heading up to the stage.

"um," you hesitated into the mic after hugging victoria, "i did not think i was going to win this," you laughed. the crowd laughed as well. beyonce was laughing at you. taylor swift was laughing at you. spencer reid was laughing at you. this was the best moment of your life.

"everyone in this category is so amazing and i wish we could split this award eight different ways. thank you to anyone and everyone who has listened to my music and supported me so far. i would not be here if it weren't for you." the first tear slipped from your face and you quickly brought your empty tear up to wipe it.

"thank you to everyone who inspired me and my music, and anyone who laid a hand in creating it with me. my mind is so blank and i can't remember all of your names," everyone laughed again. "and thank you to those i love," your eyes slipped to your table in the crowd. the camera cut to spencer, who had the biggest smile on his face anyone had ever seen. "i wouldn't be here without you guys. thank you and i cannot wait to make more music for you." you ended with a gracious wave to the crowd and cameras, before dashing back to your table.

you threw yourself in spencer's arms again. his cheek smushed against your shoulder as he mumbled, "i'm so proud of you!" you didn't answer, but he felt your smile get impossibly wider against him. after your brief moment of affection, you settled back into his side, excited to see sabrina carpenter's performance.

[dramas-vs-novels]

Can you please elaborate how payurain portray a healthy 24/7 d/s relationship? And how payu shows casual dominance?

I love this ask so much!

First and Foremost:: They're Equals

A healthy D/s dynamic- especially a 24/7 one- isn't built at all on "one person is better or more in some way than the other" (there is a separate kink for that if it's your jam). The Dominant doesn't think he's superior to the submissive, or if he does that's a couple who won't last long.

They have to see themselves as equals, so it's a conscious decision to submit or Dominate. It is a choice being made. Rain sees himself as less than Payu- the god-like senior with the good job and extreme wealth. But Payu never sees him like that. He never says "I'm better than you" or "I'm worth this, you're worth that".

As Love Storm goes on, but especially in the LITA Special Novel, you see Rain shedding his "unattainable perfection" image of Payu and seeing him as human. Rain will always hero worship him, but he no longer does it from a perspective of "Look how much better than me he is", but rather just "He's amazing, I'm lucky to have him in my life". He doesn't belittle himself, and a hell of a lot of that is because that's how Payu has always treated him.

---------------

Domination and submission Displays

I did want to include this because it isn't as nebulous as the other topics, but it's very much a part of things. It also goes towards your question about casual Dominance.

D/s have a sort of ritual to them in displays between the Dominant and submissive that... you don't really see in PayuRain as obviously as you might in others.

Rain has to call Payu "Phi" and use respectful language, but he isn't calling him "Sir", he isn't expected to say like "Yes, sir" or "No, sir", he isn't expected to seek permission for actions or wait for Payu to order or command him.

But they still have their almost ritualistic elements that present a clear sign of "You're stepping out of your lane" and kind of pulling the leash on the dynamic to get everything back where it's supposed to be.

Most obviously, Payu has subtle ways to command Rain that the little guy might not wholly be aware of himself. When Payu strokes Rain's bottom lip, that's "Obey", and Rain always obeys when Payu pulls that trigger.

It is also a kind of "Submit" switch- if Rain is being a brat and Payu does that, Rain immediately changes tune. A hot example is during the race kink scene, when Payu opts to bite the sitch instead of stroke it like he usually does after Rain goes too far.

Rain has a sexual response to that bottom lip being messed with (a seed Payu plants in the bathroom stall), and whenever it is touched (or in this case, bitten), you can see the boy utterly melt. In some scenes, once Payu touches that, Rain's eyes become heavy and he immediately shudders.

Fun note: when Rain wants to try being the one in control (race kink scene), he does the same move to Payu.

---------------

Rules and Guardrails Apply to Both

Rain doesn't know anything about D/s dynamics or relationships, but Payu does, so he gently shows Rain how to handle the checks and balances. He respects Rain, he asks for respect in return. He has his Rules for their relationship, but he shows Rain from the start that he's allowed to make Rules.

He also- big point- explains why he makes the Rules, they aren't arbitrary things Rain is expected to follow blindly. They aren't just for fun to see if he can make Rain obey- they're serious, and he treats them seriously.

When Rain breaks Payu's Rules, he's punished accordingly. But when Payu breaks a rule, he knows Rain doesn't understand yet that there has to be a ding on Payu as well. That's one of those areas where they are equal and have to be treated equally. Rain isn't a pet, he's a human being. Just because he embraces being a submissive doesn't mean he doesn't have power.

24/7 Cannot Be Unbreakably 24/7

The other important thing I want to mention (because one of my favorite Special Chapters is all about this) is that even if there is a 24/7 dynamic in place... That doesn't mean it's actually, mercilessly, 24/7. It isn't some unending roleplay, it's their lives.

Payu has good days and bad days. He has his needs- physical, emotional, and sexual. But so does Rain. And Payu is very respectful of those. If either one is upset, the Rules or the dynamic are set aside.

Payu will drop his Dominant air the moment he sees that Rain is geniunely upset about something.

And he never stops doing that. Even if it's for something stupid- if Rain is upset, Payu won't push their dynamic, and he will very sincerely try to understand Rain's feelings (please note the finger trigger being used in the last image!)

Or, when Rain runs away from Payu's home and breaks critical aftercare for both him and Payu (I did a whole post about this one, so I'm glossing past it), he both makes sure Rain knows that's not cool, but also doesn't press the matter because he knows the boy isn't feeling well.

And later on, after Rain has started to grasp the controls of their dynamic, when Stop enrages Payu, he steps well out of his comfort zone to be more kitten-ish and try to help break Payu's bad mood. He uses nicknames with himself he hasn't entirely warmed to, and coaxes Payu in a public setting.

The absolute best example of this- which is such a base, foundation-level core of 24/7 D/s relationships- is this excerpt from a Special Chapter in the novel.

Rain is heading into exam season, an incredibly stressful time, and he's utterly overwhelmed. He's burning the candle at both ends, feels lost and dejected, and doesn't even have time to acknowledge Payu, let alone be with him. And at the back of his mind, because of this, he feels like he is failing as Payu's sub by not being available for him romantically or physically.

Payu, meanwhile, is more worried about Rain. he knows the pressures and the stress, but it doesn't make it any easier. So Payu will make Rain food and try to keep it warm until Rain has a minute to eat, he'll let slide Rain ignoring him, and he'll do what he can to make things easier.

But when Rain eventually explodes, cussing Payu out... Payu doesn't play the dynamic. He doesn't bring up Rules or even consider punishing Rain in the slightest. He lets Rain vent as much as he needs to, even if it hurts his feelings a bit. He gives Rain space to kind of re-spool.

And when Rain comes down, now crying for how he's treated Payu, Payu reassures him and supports him. He gives Rain the strength he needs to succeed and adds a Rule that Rain has to set aside some time each day to eat and take a break. Anothe Rule put into their dynamic, but with Rain's physical wellbeing being the focus.

I'm sure I'm forgetting stuff, I'm sure people would like to add stuff. I don't engage in 24/7 D/s so there might be elements I'm not mentioning that other people would, but I tried to kind of highlight the biggest areas.

At the core of it all, the D/s are both equal.

Rain's little "submit" switch.

Rules have to apply to both.

24/7 cannot be 24/7 without mercy.

[splinterofpandora]

Batman is dead.

I know it sounds vulgar.

Oh, you didn't like one comic book and now the character doesn't exist for you. Come on, we go through this every day! Stop clowning, you're not Joker!

But they actually did it in 2023. A year later, I realized exactly what happened. And I think I know how to change it. Hold on, because I'm going to tell you who Bruce Wayne was, and why death was good for him.

Chapter one. This is where the story begins.

Ok, we all know that. The alley. The boy next to his parents' bodies. No one hears his tears. A promise by the bedside. The training. Criminals are a superstitious cowardly lot. The Bat.

We rarely talk about Thomas and Martha because it was never their story. It was the story of a boy who found the meaning of life...no, at this stage, of existence...in fighting Evil. It was 1940s. The early years of The Dark Knight, in terms of plot, emphasized the common person's ability to overcome challenges and help those who cannot defend themselves. At first, the reader saw a “cool and intimidating” costume. The vigilante in action.

However, diving into the text we find that this Frightening Guardian is very...soft. He stays and tends to the victims of crime. Doesn't let people get discouraged. He is feared by criminals. He doesn't mind much that the police can do it either. But he's not an enemy of the society.

Later, Robin shows up. Alfred. Batwoman. Batgirl. The League...

But Batman remains their friend too. And so does Bruce Wayne, who...started life in the 1950s.

Chapter Two. Creating Identity.

Until about the early 70's(I'm using decades for simplicity, the actual timeline is a bit different) Batman's adventures explored the big issues people care about - corruption, war, crime. The wrapping of this was removed from reality. Took the form of evil clowns, spies in funny costumes, even aliens. Comics didn't want to pour complex things over our heads in their purest form.

But the important thoughts, the problems themselves and their possible solutions, along with the dreams of Mankind (flying cars, new discoveries in medicine, exploring the world), have always been the theme of the issue. For this reason, most of the dialog was directed at external things. The characters showed themselves through their actions.

We saw that Bruce can truly doubt, worry, and do crazy things. But he always cares about his young partner and wants to give him the best of what he himself has. Often in his interactions with Dick, Wayne shows pride in his son, his support. Many times he even risked Batman's life to save Grayson. And yes, the idea of separating man and suit, outside of formalities, didn't exist back then.

The idea of a billionaire wasn't a big deal yet, and 99% of the problems were solved by the masked vigilante, while the rich guy was a good cover for gathering information, which he did in the first issues.

Comics and media(audio, animated series, books) that recall this period especially emphasize the moment of complete father-son trust. As the point of supreme discovery of Bruce Wayne's mind. He wants to see a world where people are friends with each other. Openness. Sincerity. Idealism without drifting into absurdity. This is the Bruce Wayne of DC's first 30 years.

Chapter Three. Flowers are better than batarangs.

It's ironic, but with the visual darkness (relative to earlier works), 1970's Knight was the perfect middle ground between Bruce and Batman. The conflict of concepts was not yet seen from the angle of falling into darkness, but made many, not always consciously, afraid of their own protector.

My words should not be taken too literally. Gotham loved him. He openly cooperated with the police. Easily walked through the door of people's homes if invited. However, he could also be tough on crime and move like a shadow. That was troubling. But Batman doesn't cross the line. He's too kind. Everyone knows that.

Bruce is finally the man we know. Playful and frivolous, but the rich who loves beneficial initiatives for the city and its residents by day. And caped crusader by night.

He adores his children, starts many foundations and even a detective agency to help those in need and make police work easier. At the same time, Bruce's personal life is also going well. The authors are constantly looking for the man to be the love of his life, and the idea of retirement with the possibility of helping the world in some other way, without the cape, is increasingly glimpsed in stories about a possible future.

Unfortunately, the picture limit does not allow the narrator to continue his never ending battle, and so he will continue in the next post!

P.S. That and other themed post can be found under BrightKnightUpcoming tag.

[eatember]

Idk if this is helpful, but when I was first disabled, I got caught in this negative behavior loop for YEARS. I found my community, but then I would hear all the injustices, and rights abuses we would face. Sometimes I would log on and friends wouldn't be there anymore, killed by professionals that didn't value them and wouldn't face repercussions for it. By the time I, personally, was facing the injustices, I was very burnt out and frayed at the edges.

Now, as an adult, I mentally put these online experiences in two different categories:

Category A)

A person in my community has personally experienced some transgression and is venting about it. I love my community, but I limit my exposure to these. I have to be aware of my mental state whenever I'm on social media where this applies (even on late nights, early mornings, when I can't sleep, when I don't feel well, etc. Constant vigilance. ) and if I can feel anything other than empathy and lighthearted support rising in me- that's natural. That's ok. I might even use it to react. But then it's time to take a break for however long it takes for the reaction to subside, if possible. It might be an hour, it might be a month. It's hard being a minority in this position, but especially when you're getting that stress from the outside world as well, it's important to pay attention to how you're reacting in your community and what else you're being exposed to that's tapping out your emotional resources. This is a facet that we can control. I know it feels like abandoning people sometimes, but it also negatively effects our communities when everyone is doing this. Actually taking back that control does not feel like oppression once you're actually doing it. It feels like regaining some power.

Category B)

I call this one "arguing with the wall". It's common on social media. It's when a person is upset about a viewpoint they're stewing on.

It's called arguing with the wall because a common one I used to see was people making hypothetical arguments about how someone's (ableist) viewpoint about them is wrong. But it usually seems to be someone stewing (understandably, as one does) on a viewpoint that could cause people to treat them badly in the future, and may have caused people to treat them badly in the past.

think: "trans women are unsafe people to have in bathrooms" and like viewpoints.

Y'all, this is so understandable. And. Exposing yourself to this every day will make you crazy.

Venting and supporting each other is very important. But communities can be just as good for us as they are bad for us! There is no "mentally healthy" way to be oppressed, and, getting to much of this on social media is harmful.

We've only had online community for a short time. Most of us haven't really figured out our social hygiene and boundaries yet. And innocently, our communities and interactions reflect this.

My personal opinion is that if more of us could practice boundaries in this way, it might be easier to cultivate online spaces that are mindful of each other's mental states while being places of support and grieving. But we're inventing a wheel here, and I have no idea what that will look like! I can only say that limiting my own exposure has helped me deal with real life inequality, harassment and systemic removal of human rights in a better way than I was before. I feel less like a collection of trauma triggers.

I still get overwhelmed, but it's because the actual situation happening to me is bad and not because I'm exposed to The Horrors every day and perpetually burnt out. Our strength is worth so much more than whatever you feel you're preparing yourself for when you keep up with news you're not ready to hear or fact check. Our connections to each other are more important than some video from a person you don't know having a vent you can't help them with right now. You gotta put on your own oxygen mask before helping others.

Not an invitation to cocoon yourself in a self-care bubble for four years, but a reminder to the 24/7 worriers that you can literally write "To Do on Monday: Worry about ________" on a post-it note and stop worrying about it for one day while you recharge.

[girlsgirl06]

HOW TO BE UNFORGETTABLE..💅🏻

You just want to have the best first impression, the best impact in the life of people you ever meet, you wanna be the most favourite of your favourite ones, you wanna leave sparkle wherever you step, you wanna be remembered till centuries wherever you place your foot, you wanna turn heads wherever you walk, you want everyone to be so obsessed with you, you want them to fall in love with you, you want them to become your fan, you want them to revolve around you, but you always wonder how you can do so? Well my friend don't worry, I GOTCHA😉

-AREAS TO WORK ON:

1. HEALING INNER CHILD

Healing is very important. Heal your inner child. Ask yourself questions, be aware, do things your inner child loved to do. Every night before sleeping say this to your inner child- I AM SORRY, PLEASE FORGIVE ME, THANK YOU, I LOVE YOU. (You can also visualise the childhood you standing in front of you then say this prayer and hug them).

2. ME CORE

Learn about yourself. What you like, what you love, do self care, skincare, move your body, be your own soulmate, love yourself first, do things you always loved, study, gain knowledge, learn new skills, do everything just for you. Say Affirmations, do mirror work, breath work, EFT tapping and just Focus on you.

3. BODY LANGUAGE

Be confident, Good posture, eye contact, eyebrows relaxed, keep calm resting face, slow movements, clear and smooth voice, walk like you're queen/king, learn etiquette.

4. CONFIDENCE

Confidence is the most attractive thing about a person. It's only what makes you successful. Have confidence in whatever you do, whatever you wear, whatever you try. Remember Confidence is sexy.

5. PSYCHOLOGY

Learning psychology helps you to analyse and understand other's behaviour and personality. It also improves your body language, communication skills and overall personality.

6. OBSERVATION SKILLS

Observe around you. Remember the detail. Remember the name of person, people love their name they like it when we remember and call them by their name. Ask them about themselves and remember the details. Observe their behaviour, how they react in different situations. Observation sharpens your mind.

7. COMMUNICATION SKILLS

Learn how to talk. Learn new languages. Learn vocabulary. Don't use long sentences rather make it short but effective and impressive. Learn synonyms and antonyms. Learn new words. Learn idioms and phrases. Have a clear and loud voice but remember not too loud or not too low. Calm, seductive voice. Talk with pauses(At least 3 second pause).

8. PERSONALITY

Have your unique style. Wear outfits that make you not only look beautiful but also confident. Wear outfits that make you feel beautiful and confident. Know your style. Accessorize it maybe a watch or necklace, shoes or heels, blazers or jackets anything that matches your vibe.

Last but not least, the most effective and important one :

9. BE KIND

There is nothing more attractive and unforgettable behaviour than kindness. People will remember you for decades if you treat them right. Be decent. Have manners. Respect them. Give genuine compliments. Have a good sense of humor. Respect their time.

Thank you for reading❤️

[maxdibert]

recently found ur acc and I agree with a lot of things (lol considering im a marauders fan/usually interact with snaters) i've always considered snape to be a v complex and well fleshed out character (i think alan rickman did wonders to jk's unpolished writing ngl, he was genuinely sm better in the movies because alan brought the depth to him that jk tried) and I only used to hate him when I was like 14-15. but i have to say, what makes you hate on lily sm (i get a hardcore snape fan would hate james, i dont because i recognize his flaws as what they are instead of making excuses for him)

but lily hate I genuinely dont get, like if we can praise snape for being a complex character why shame lily for being one as well? if you're gonna say its because lily is portrayed as a saint, I could argue that's what happens once one dies, people don't like to speak ill of the dead. that's what happened to severus as well, harry hated him all his life then he died and suddenly he was "the bravest man he ever knew."

i get that lily getting together with james is sad for sev but sev also basically bullied her by using a racial-slur equivalent for her? and we're told constantly james changed and grew anyways.

also i dont understand why a mother's sacrifice is downplayed because "shes supposed to do so"? it is equally heroic for a person to sacrifice themselves for someone else as it is for a mother to sacrifice herself for her child.

mothers are always put on this pedestal to be absolutely perfect but they ARE human beings and idk why we need to be told this in 2025 that it is extremely misogynistic to put women's and mother's efforts because "its their role"

anyways, my point is; when we can recognize severus as a grey character, what's wrong with recognizing lily as one (when shes honestly mostly good, was there for sev when no one was, only stopped after he verbally abused her infront of the whole school)

The root of the problem is not that Lily has flaws—every complex character should have them—but rather how the narrative presents her. It’s not about "Snape fans hating Lily because she chose James," but rather that the story forces us to see her as a saint, even when her actions are inconsistent with that image.

From a feminist perspective, the main issue with Lily’s portrayal is not just her lack of development but how her character is used to reinforce the myth of motherhood as the pinnacle of female virtue. Lily is not written as a complex person who makes decisions with nuanced consequences, but as an ideal: the "perfect woman" who is pure, good, just, and whose greatest achievement in life is being a mother and sacrificing herself for her child.

If we were allowed to see Lily with the same depth that male characters like Severus or even James are given, there would be no issue in recognizing that she had both virtues and flaws. But Rowling's narrative does not allow this. We are told that she was perfect—a loyal friend, a just person, incapable of doing anything wrong. However, in practice:

She is the most important person in Snape’s life for years, yet she abandons him without even attempting to understand his perspective after the "Mudblood" incident. It’s not that she wasn’t right to be hurt, but the break is drastic and absolute. She essentially demands that Severus put himself in her shoes, but she doesn’t even try to put herself in his. When he expresses his doubts about the Marauders, she implies that he is obsessive, tells him he should be grateful to his bully, and laughs at the state of his underwear. She knows Severus comes from a poor and abusive background, yet she engages in gaslighting and class shaming. Does this make her a bad person? No, but it does make us question whether she was truly the epitome of morality that the story sells us. And it would be great if the narrative highlighted these inconsistencies, but it doesn’t. Instead, it tells us that Lily is right in her judgments and that she has the right to be highly moralistic, even though she herself exhibits overwhelming double standards.

We are told that James changed, but we are never shown how and why Lily accepted him. We go from seeing her hate him to marrying him with no real transition, and the only explanation is "well, he matured." If a male character had such an abrupt arc, people would call it inconsistent, but in Lily’s case, we are supposed to accept it as normal—because women have traditionally been seen as maternal figures who exist to nurture and fix men. Because a woman’s task is to change and "fix" men. The narrative does not question what this great change in James actually was because simply having Lily choose him is considered enough. And it’s not. If you’ve spent years watching someone be abusive and violent, you don’t just wake up one day and decide that they’ve changed without any real reason. And besides, why should the burden of "fixing" a man or deciding whether he is good or bad fall on a woman? Why objectify women as moral compasses? If a woman chooses you, does that mean you’re good and have changed? Can women not have flaws and be morally questionable themselves—overlooking certain behaviors simply because they don’t care about them as much as they should from an ethical standpoint? Lily is not treated as a person; she is treated as an idol, an idea, a supreme entity. She is dehumanized.

Her sacrifice is presented as the ultimate demonstration of maternal love, but the story reinforces the idea that a mother must sacrifice herself as if that is her only form of heroism. It’s not just that any functional parent would be willing to die for their child because, on a purely biological level, there is an instinct to protect offspring for the survival of the species—it’s also that the narrative reinforces the idea that mothers, specifically, are the most elevated beings because their identity and individuality disappear once they have children. Tonks was Tonks—a character in her own right—but as soon as she gets with Lupin, she becomes an extension of him, and later, she is only defined by being a mother. Narcissa is "evil, evil, evil" until her role as a mother comes to the forefront, and then she is redeemed by the narrative. Molly Weasley is an obnoxious woman, but because she is a devoted mother to her seven children and nothing else, she is seen as the ultimate maternal figure in the saga. Lily is almost treated like a goddess for sacrificing herself for her child. And I ask—what exactly is exceptional about any of this? Isn’t the bare minimum we expect from a reasonably functional adult who chooses to bring life into the world actually taking care of that life? No, it’s not that women are obligated to be good mothers—it’s that J.K. Rowling is obsessed with motherhood and constantly implies that only through it can a woman attain absolute goodness. And I question that. I question whether being a mother is something extraordinary. I say that being a mother is a very normal, common thing, and that any mother or father would do the same as Lily—and if they didn’t, they’d be incredibly selfish people and terrible parents.

The fact that the story glorifies Lily’s death but barely mentions James’s in terms of sacrifice is a clear example of gender bias. James died fighting, but Lily died "as a mother," and that is why she is seen as more noble. Why? Is a father’s love any less valuable? No, but the narrative sells us the idea that a woman must sacrifice herself to be worthy of admiration.

This is a recurring problem in literature and film: mothers are "good" if they are self-sacrificing and devoted. They cannot be selfish, they cannot be ambiguous, they cannot make mistakes without being punished. If Lily had survived and raised Harry, would she have been just as revered? Probably not, because living mothers are judged, while dead mothers are turned into saints.

When the fandom (or even the canon) downplays the sacrifices of others but elevates Lily’s because "she was a mother," what is really being said is that women have no choice: they are no longer women—they are mothers, and the kind of mother they are determines whether they are worthy or not. That is why I like to demystify the idea that what she did was extraordinary—because it wasn’t. It was something any halfway decent mother would do, even if in her daily life she was a terrible person to everyone else. And I don’t like being sold the idea that Lily’s sacrifice excuses everything and makes her a moral and ethical reference point—because being a mother who loved her child does not mean she couldn’t have been an asshole. Women are three-dimensional and complete beings, not one-dimensional.

Recognizing Lily’s flaws is not hating her—it is giving her the same respect we give complex male characters. The problem is that Rowling does not treat her that way: she places Lily on a pedestal of unquestionable perfection and reduces her to just her motherhood. The fact that the story forces her to be a saint makes her actual character fade into the background, and that is both a narrative flaw and a reflection of how society treats women and mothers.

It’s not about "hating Lily" or saying that "her sacrifice was worthless"—it’s about questioning why the story tells us that this sacrifice is the only thing that defines her. If the narrative gave her the same depth as the other characters, this discussion wouldn’t even be necessary.

[byfulcrums]

Most straight relationships in media: “Even though there's no development and no chemistry and we don't look like we love each other that much we'll date because we're straight and that's what we're supposed to do. Right??”

Most queer relationships in media: “If saving you is a sin, I'll gladly become a sinner.” — “Dying together also included a ‘together’.” — “You changed my destiny from the moment we touched.” — “I would know him in death, at the end of the world.” — “The hero and the warrior were like the sun and the moon...”

[dandelionuprising]

I think a fundamental issue is that no direct comparison can be made between the treatments we use for different symptoms. Antidepressants are not adhd meds are not antipsychotics etc etc. I think a lot of movies that show severe mental illness and the effects of medicine, are actually depicting antipsychotics. Which are notorious for being sedating and taking away a lot of your experience, even as they may also take away some of the bad experiences. So as someone who is in the antipsychotics camp of mental health issues, I find that depiction very relatable.

I'm glad OP and others have had a good experience with their meds, but I think it's important to acknowledge that not everyone will have a good experience, and there won't necessarily be a med that will have the desired effect. And that people who don't have a good experience with medication don't necessarily have to keep trying, it's not necessarily the case that the right med is just around the corner. It's ok to be done with psychiatric medicine. It's ok to not want to risk it at all. Psychiatric medicine is far from being an exact science, and it's extremely hit and miss whether it helps. And for a bunch of people, it ends up doing more harm than good.

Depression or adhd or psychosis etc obviously have a basis in the physical realm, arising from biological as well as psychological and social factors, but we don't have a clear understanding of how exactly, and the medication we use to treat them don't pinpoint target the issue. Rather, they are psychoactive drugs with effects that sometimes, but not always, alleviate the distressing symptoms of various psychiatric disorders.

No one gets to define who the "real you" is. You're real with or without the influence of medication, you just have to decide which version you like being the most. I did like what adhd medication did for me personally, but I've also quit, because the withdrawal is intense in terms of making me completely unable to do anything, and I'm not very good at taking meds consistently, so it caused way more highs and lows in functionality than what I was comfortable with. Two of my partners take ADHD meds religiously, and for at least one of them, it's been life-saving. I also know a person who lost 5 years to adhd medication. It completely changed their personality from a quirky, loving nb pal, to functional but distant dude completely out of touch with "his"(?) emotions. They can barely remember those years, and the mother of their children broke up with them during those years because there was just zero emotional availability (they're back together now). Which is just to say that even a generally well loved and effective medication like central stimulants for adhd can have horrible side effects for some people.

Meanwhile antipsychotics are objectively a really heavy hitting form of medication that (more or less subtly) works by sedating your brain so you have less ability to have weird ass thoughts and experiences. I have found that for me, a baby dose way below the suggested amount for treating schizophrenia/psychosis helps me cope and feel better. But when I was on the lowest recommended dose to treat my diagnosis, I completely lost my spark. I slept 15+ hours a day and spent most of my time listlessly lying on the floor or sofa, staring at the ceiling. Several of my close friends have lost years of their life to antipsychotics. And it's really important to acknowledge these types of experiences, while also acknowledging that medicine can be great sometimes.

The two experiences can coexist. And it's important to acknowledge that these are heavy hitting drugs with a lot of potential consequences (all of them, but some more often than others), and to let everyone make their own decisions about what they want to try and what they want to keep taking. One person choosing not to medicate themselves is not an attack on another who chooses to do so, or vice versa.

90s movies: Psychopharmacology is as good as a lobotomy. If you take pills to treat your mental illness it will literally murder your imaginary friends and you will become a boring, lotus-eating conformist drone.

Me after taking my meds: drives the scenic route home to see if there are any geese on the pond and does a little dance in line at the grocery store and comes home to throw everything​ in my fridge into a stew pot because I can finally taste food again while singing songs at my birds in which I replace all the instances of "she" with "Cheese" and doing a Dolly Parton impression on the phone to my sister

[stormyoceans]

whatever happens in episode 8 they can pry my ‘jun has never been the first in anything, never the main character, never the chosen one, but he was thame’s first friend in the group and that means the world to him. he’s so afraid of losing his best friend, of losing his only main spot, that he becomes jealous of anyone getting too close to thame and tries to insert himself in thame’s other relationships, not out of any romantic feelings for him, but for fear of being left out and ending up alone again. by doing so, however, jun ended up developing actual feelings for po. at the end of the day tho, he knows he doesn’t have a chance and cares about thame too much to let this get between them, so he decides to take a step back’ theory out of my cold dead hands

[moeblob]

Huevember 11

Karen and Rick but in the DND AU. (I just look at this and think 'Barbie learned eldritch blast' but ya know. Whatever.)

[loud-whistling-yes]

Decided to elaborate further because clearly I think about this album way too fucking much

Icarus: Yes - Actually I take it back, aromanticism would save icarus. Acknowledging that the relationship didn't go the way it wanted but letting each other go and being set free and shit. They're free now. Just because they spent so long working on this love doesn't mean they should be trapped in it. Go. Be free.

Steady steady: No - Look, it's about the fear of being trapped under the weight of society's expectations okay. The bride clearly loves their lover but doesn't love em enough to stay suffocating in a conventional marriage where they don't go anywhere and rot. The love was there but it didn't save them. The aromanticism could be there but it would do nothing. Net zero change in status quo.

Easier: Would make them worse - Oh, poor fucker's already lost their partner and is having an identity crisis, give them a break. Imagine finding out you just lost the most important person in your life then realise you never "loved" them to begin with. It would be my villain origin story.

Shallow river: Would make them worse - Both. Both of them would be worse. The fool in her wedding gown and also the singer. Yikes. How does this somehow make a depressing song even more depressing.

Strangler fig: No - I barely even registered this song as romantic when I first listened to it tbh. Applies to literally anyone who has had to deal with vile manipulative assholes before. Aromanticism once again welcome but would contribute nothing.

The glacier house: No - I mean, the singer's obviously got their shit together already. The bundled up darling just needs to figure some stuff out themselves tbh.

Tongues and teeth: Yes - World's Most Aro Song. Someone show this girl the wiki page for aromanticism and maybe she'll chill tf out. Like girl. You're fine. No you aren't the most evil terrible person in the world you're just aro. You're good.

Back to the ground: Yes - I can't explain this one. Something about putting your whole soul into desperately loving someone and it never clicking but also being too attached to let go. Being so tired and so defeated but still holding on to some small hope that it might just magically work out in the end. Also they share ohwoahwoahs with tongues and teeth so that's something.

Show your fangs: Yes - Oh come on this one has got to be obvious.

Once and for all: Would make them worse - Its like back to the ground but both parties are so fucking done with each other but also cannot for the life of them let go. Hand-in-unlovable-hand-ass song. It would cause so much emotional physical and psychological damage. Aromanticism would kill them both.

Canary in a coal mine: No - Idc whether that love was there or not it DID NOT save them 😭🙏 On the bright side it also cannot make the situation any worse than it is.

How to rest: No - Honestly could swing both ways. Learning you can never cut off human connection forever regardless of romantic/platonic love because you're human and humans are made to connect is just like yeah man you're right. But also. If I had just learnt that I'm aromantic and I hear the line "and love's the only thing we've been alive for" I would absolutely start throwing hands.

Apparently I had more thoughts about this poll than I expected. Anyways

[dchuntress]

imo hel bertinelli would 100% continue to call her loved ones cringe even after they become close like yes. she could be your friend or even your life partner but once she finds your tattoo cringe she will forever call it cringe. she WILL admire you for what she does like, just that love doesn't blind her or prevent her from being blunt with the subtlety of a sledgehammer

[queerplatonicdiaries]

squish ramble

this probably isn't gonna make much sense bc I'm kinda sleepy but I just. I love them so fucking much. we just called for like an hour an a half and for those moments everything else disappeared. all the stress, all the worries, it all seems so much lighter just because I know I have them in my life and we can talk about anything. that feeling of complete ease and comfort when we're together, even if it's over a patchy phone signal, there's nothing else in the world that could replace it. the feeling of being seen and heard and understood entirely, the knowledge that we have each other and we're going to be okay. I know we're still young, but I hope we have this for the rest of our lives. I think as long as I have them, everything else will be alright. I love them and I love loving them, it's the best feeling in the world <3

[pikachu-deluxe]

when will i start to feel real

[theokusgallery]

I see it now! I was literally reading and listening about their relationship in your podcast! i really thought that Statice and Nick DESPISE eachother. This AU is interesting, I love it vry vry much. Im not fond of it at first because I can't really Imagine Basil. Basil doing all of that stuff. because he's my favorite character(and I can't really see him being like that). But I eventually learnt to separate them and sees Nick as his own character. Like an actual oc(Still sees him a little bit as Basil if you understand what I mean)( can't wait when Sunny's other friend gets revealed or maybe the parents. *Maybe* they're not that important to the story but the CURIOSITY IS TOO STRONG AND SORRY FOR YAPPING HSJSKAK IT MUST BE TIRING TO ANSWER ANY OF MY QUESTIONS I WON'T DO THAT AGAIN)(Also excuse my grammar also, english is not my first language 😣)

-Anon from the previous previous post.

(the aura I felt after asking that is unimaginable. I used to be so shy to ask anything on people's blog so Im a *bit* proud of my confidence!)

Oh I see !!

Yeah Nick is... more or less an OC, he's got very little to do with Basil now. I refuse to cut of all ties to OMORI/Basil because it's very important to his origins and taking that from him would be taking out a lot of how I personally see him, but, well... He wasn't exactly based off of normal in-game Basil, either, so it makes sense that he's very different. He looks different, acts different, has a different family, age, personality, story, nationality even, different interests... He's like, 70% OC and 30% OMORI AU. Basil is also my favorite character, and that's not how I see him at all either.

I understand why you thought Statice and Nick hated each other — to be fair, there aren't a lot of people who don't hate Nick, lol. Being around him and knowing why he is the way he is makes it easier to love him, though.