#you're telling me i am so loved??
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Why am I getting emotional about maxing out on received boops 🥺
#you're telling me moots and oomfs and blorbos and random passerbys love me enough to boop me until they no longer can??#you're telling me i am so loved??#🥺🥺😭😭#boop
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Sae Niijima is such a good character it drives me insane a little. She's not a mother nor a maternal or doting older sister but instead a twenty four year old who was thrown into a position of responsibility that she never asked for. She loves Makoto just as much as she resents her and its so apparent every time they talk up until November. "Are you studying?" (I want you to do well) (I need you to get a job and stop making my life harder) "I'll use any method necessary to get this promotion" (Life will be easier for us) (So stop distracting me with your problems) "Focus on your future" (I know that you're capable) (I can't afford to waste my time on you, so stop wasting time on others)
Makoto is not only the sole reason she pushes as hard as she does for a promotion, for success, and the reason that she loses herself in her animosity over her fathers death, but also someone she can't stand for so long. Makoto was 14-15 when their father died. Sae was 21. As soon as she got the career she wanted and things started to look up, her stability was robbed from her and she was disillusioned with the system that her father had taught her to rely on and completely adhere to. How do you manage, the daughter of a cop, following his footsteps towards law enforcement, when you're suddenly reminded of how unfair it is? You can't quit, your little sister relies on you and she's so young and struggling just as badly with this grief. So you pick yourself up and you get moving again. You push harder, press further. You abandon your morals and your ethics because punishing criminals (guilty or not) is almost like punishing the man who killed your father.
And the whole time she's fighting for promotions, going for drinks with the SIU Director to make herself more favourable for promotions, trying to navigate being a woman in a competitive, suffocating, male-dominated field, falling behind despite doing so much where others are promoted for doing so little - all the while your little sister comes back from school and her biggest issues are so small compared to yours.
Persona 5 revolves so heavily around grief and loss and change and Sae embodies all of that so well, all of the sharp and unpleasant and jagged parts of grief.
#sae niijima#persona brainrot real#idk what possessed me for this i jsut love her#beyond her being rlly hot and such a driven and compelling character#the way that we see her on screen is so heavily shaped and influenced by grief that its almost crushing when you notice it#she focuses on work because if she falls behind it could cost her and her sister everything#yet she lives in her fathers house. works a job her father would be proud of. is praised through her proximity to her father.#her sister idolises her and relies on her like a parent. sae was never supposed to be that to her#how am i meant to be your mother and your father? how am i meant to be the source of stability in your life when im not stable in mine#and the whole time your little sister sits there and where shes actually putting on a brave face and forcing through her own grief#struggling to put a life without her father into perspective#to you she just looks ... complacent. willfully ignorant to the situation that you're both in and the struggles you're both facing#why WOULDNT you hate her?#and then you realise that shes not ignorant. shes not as stupid or as oblivious as you thought#every time she was being distracting and asking pointless questions she was just reaching out to you#and each time you had to push her hand away and tell her not now. focus. study.#they drive me insane actually#persona 5#p5r#persona 5 royal#makoto niijima
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i think katsuki just answers his phone by barking out, "bakugou." no hello, probably doesn't even look at the caller id LOL when he hears it's you, though, i think he breathes out the tension he didn't realize was coiled in his shoulders, and says a lil, "hey," 🥺🥺
and i think when he calls you, and you answer with your sweet, "helloooo ??" he is so soft 😌 just mumbles out a quiet, "what'chu doin'?" and listens as you tell him, before saying what he needed to 😌
#okay one bkg thought and then i am going to bed hehe#i need him terribly i fear 😔#pls just the idea of him huddling in a corner so no one can hear him 🥺 as he speaks softly to you 🥺#and even if he calls to tell you something—he always asks what you're doing 🥺#and listens 🥺 and engages 🥺#i also dont think he says goodbye LOL#he just says 'alright' and hangs up LOL#or he says 'alright love you' hang up#why does this make me so insane for him idk idk#✿ thoughts: bakugou#✿ theme: domestic bakugou
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jon val jon or something
#jean valjean#les miserables#les mis#meme#no bc i just read the part where FIRST of all he's 'so happy his conscience began to bother him' and immediately goes 'can't have that'#and then he 'lived in the backyard like a dog' OF HIS OWN HOUSE WHILE COSETTE IS IN THE MAIN BUILDING#and jvj my beloved i am obsessed with you king but it is SO unhealthy to intentionally deprive yourself just so someone else can tell you..#'no no don't do that you need to take care of yourself' like bro i know you want to be nurtured and have someone prove their love for you#but it's really not great that the only way you keep your room at a liveable temperature and eat good food is when cosette is making you#i say this without judgement bc that was me once too but good GOD man your identity cannot be her!!!!#and stop with the preemptive self-inflicted harm!!! stop with the self-protective and yet -destructive distancing!!#you're only doing that because you want someone to tell you to stop!!!!!#alternate chapter title: in which an old man finds himself at home among the youth (2014 tumblr)#ANYways all this to say jvj is a projectable 10000% and i hate him because i love him because i hate that version of me bc i love me#or: SHUT UP AND BE LOVED YOU SILLY OLD MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#kay has a party in the tags#kay can i just catch my breath for a second#kay is a classical literature nerd#my meme
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I love you, so much and so truly darling, I love looking at you, I love whispering all my secrets to you, I love kissing you good night, I love letting you know how much I do, I do, I do, baby I love you, can't you see ?
@skyrigel
#I heard somewhere that people were buried alive#And that coffins were found with clawing marks inside the lid#So bells were installed#Ring a bell if you're alive and we'll get you out and alive#Ring a bell if you're alive#Just ring#And when I said how much I was in love with you#I was ringing that bell#I was telling you how everyone thought I was dead but here I am#Ringing the bell for you#Come and get me#Come and heal me#come and take it#I was rotting inside earth but i ringed the bell for you#Yet you didn't hear a jangle#And i wouldn't claw and lose my mind#When my heart had already clawed enough inside my ribs#The bell doesn't ring anymore beloved#It's as silence as my wait for you#Forever there but dead
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Ghosts’ Larry Rickard Explains Why They Chose the Captain’s First Name
Photo: Monumental,Guido Mandozzi
It couldn’t be a joke. That was one rule laid down by the Ghosts creators when it came to choosing a first name for Willbond’s character. Until series five, the WWII ghost had been known only as The Captain – a mystery seized upon by fans of the show.
“It was the question we got asked more than anything. His name,” actor and writer Larry Rickard tells Den of Geek. “Once we got to series three, you could see that we were deliberately cutting away and deliberately avoiding it. We were fuelling the fire because we knew at some point we’d tell them.”
In “Carpe Diem”, the episode written by Rickard and Ben Willbond that finally reveals The Captain’s death story, they did tell us. After years of guessing, clue-spotting and debate, Ghosts revealed that The Captain’s first name is James. At the same time, we also learned that James’ colleague Lieutenant Havers’ first name was Anthony.
The ordinariness of those two names, says Rickard, is the point.
“The only thing we were really clear about is that we didn’t want one of those names that only exists in tellyland. It shouldn’t be ‘Cormoran’ or ‘Endeavour’. They should just be some men’s names and they’re important to them. The point was that they were everyday.”
Choosing first names for The Captain and Havers was a long process not unlike naming a baby, Rickard agrees. “It almost comes down to looking at the faces of the characters and saying, what’s right?”
“We talked for ages. For a long time I kept thinking ‘Duncan and James’, and then I was like ah no! That would have turned it into a gag and been awful!” Inescapably in the minds of a certain generation, Duncan James is a member of noughties boyband Blue. “Maybe with Anthony I was thinking of Anthony Costa!” Rickard says in mock horror, referencing another member of the band.
Lieutenant Havers wasn’t just The Captain’s second in command while stationed at Button House; he was also the man James loved. Because homosexuality was criminalised in England during James’ lifetime, he was forced to hide his feelings for Anthony from society, and to some extent even from himself.
In “Carpe Diem”, the ghosts (mistakenly) prepare for the last day of their afterlives, prompting The Captain to finally tell his story. Though not explicit about his sexual identity, the others understand and accept what he tells them – and led by Lady Button, all agree that he’s a brave man.
Getting the balance right of what The Captain does and doesn’t say was key to the episode. “It wasn’t just a personal choice of his to go ‘I’m going to remain in the closet’,” explains Rickard. “There wasn’t an option there to explore the things that either of them felt. That couldn’t be done back then – there are so many stories which have come out since the War about the dangers of doing that.
“We wanted to tell his personal story but also try to ensure that there was a level at which you understood why they couldn’t be open, that even in this moment where he’s finally telling the other ghosts his story, he never comes out and says it overtly because that would be too much for him as a character from that time.
“He says enough for them to know, and enough for him to feel unburdened but it’s in the fact that they’re using their first names which militarily they would never have done, and in the literal passing of the baton”.
The baton is a bonus reveal when fans learned that The Captain’s military stick wasn’t a memento of his career, but of Havers. As James suffers a fatal heart attack during a VE day celebration at Button House, Anthony rushes to his side and the stick passes from one to the other as they share a moment of tragic understanding.
“From really early on, we had the idea that anything you’re holding [when you die] stays with you. So it wasn’t just your clothes you were wearing, we had the stuff with Thomas’ letter reappearing in his pocket and so on. And the assumption being that it was something The Captain couldn’t put down, it felt so nice to be able to say it was something he didn’t want to put down.”
Rickard lists “Carpe Diem”, co-written with Ben Willbond, among his series five highlights. He’s pleased with the end result, praises Willbond’s performance, and loved being on set to see Button House dressed for the 1940s. He’s particularly pleased that a checklist of moments they wanted to land with the audience all managed to be included. “Normally something’s fallen by the wayside just because of the way TV’s made, it’s always imperfect or it’s slightly rushed, but it feels like it’s all there.”
Rickard and Willbond also knew by this point in the show’s lifetime, that they could trust Ghosts fans to pick up on small details. “Nothing is missed,” he says. “Early on, you’re always thinking, is that going to get across? But once we got to series five, there are little tiny things within corners of shots and you know that’s going to be spotted. Particularly in that very short exchange between Havers and the Captain. We worried less about the minutiae of it because you go, that’s going to be rewound and rewatched, nothing will be missed.”
The team were also grateful they’d resisted the temptation to tell The Captain’s story sooner. “We’d talked about it every series since series two, whether or not now was the time, but because he’s such a hard and starchy character in a lot of ways you needed the time to understand his softer side I think before you had that final honest beat from him.”
“What a ridiculously normal name to have so much weight put on it for five years,” laughs Rickard fondly. “Good old James.”
From Den of Geek
#bbc ghosts#bless you larry for doing all these den of geek interviews#I wonder if they just did one marathon session with him#inside ghosts was kind of disappointing this week#I guess Ben just wants to let the episode speak for itself and you're like yes but I would like to hear you talk about every detail#trust me we will be interested#long post#I really thought they loved the joke of nearly saying the Captain’s name so much that they'd never reveal it#so it's so lovely that they were like no this is not a joke name; he's a real man with an ordinary name#and we are going to tell you that in the most devastatingly romantic way#I am eating my words and they are delicious with that spread on top#also 'that's going to be rewound and rewatched' = 'I know you people are loopy so here is content specifically for you'#bbc ghosts spoilers
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this might be mean but. it really ticks me off when people respond to authors and artists wishing for actual community and engagement with their works by saying "oh but you see im just so anxious i cannot offer you any kind words." with the optional "but do please keep making things for me anyway!" because like...
a) do you understand how anxiety-inducing it can be to pour a little piece of your soul into a work of art and share it publicly? i feel like you don't see the people creating these things as people like you and that is an issue. we are people who just really love a thing and want to talk about it with other people who also love that thing.
but moreover, and this is the part that might be mean, b) damn why doesn't your anxiety prevent you from making excuses to us then? i wish it did! like if you're SO anxious about a fic author blocking you for saying something nice, why are you not anxious about getting blocked for telling that author "okay but i don't want to comment on your works though"??? because i can tell you which of these two things is way more likely to piss me off and it isn't the comment.
like. idk man. if you really don't want to comment on and engage with people's creative works, no one can force you to. but also consider maybe not commenting on and engaging with those people's posts just to explain that you don't want to comment on/engage with their works. if you are so committed to staying quiet and being a passive consumer then commit to the bit and stop asking creative people who put way more of themselves out there than you are to pat you on the back and reassure you that you'll still keep getting free content even if you can't do so much as drop a "this was really good!" in the comments.
#rimi talks#like. maybe its just me but i just do not care about passive consumers#someone can love my fic more than anything in the world and reread it every single day for a week and i literally would not care#if they don't talk to me! because i have no way of knowing. they are not real to me.#like functionally someone doing that is NO different than 7 different people opening the tab and going ''i hate this nvm'' 2 sentences in.#and the people who go ''ohh but im sooo anxious i cant comment (but i can fsr tell you about how anxious i am about commenting'' are so.#newsflash i have anxiety too and i just shared 30000 words so forgive me if i kind of don't give a shit#it's just like. if you're not going to comment then don't. but don't ask me to reassure you or give you a medal for it!#sometimes the politest thing to do is simply shut the fuck up <3#like there's a time and place for talking about how you're anxious or burnt out or exhausted#and it's simply NOT when people are shouting into the void about wanting a sense of community bc they feel taken for granted.#that is not the time or place. please learn a sense of shame if manners are beyond you.
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omg could you do leo valdez with ocd reader 🥺 ... i love how you write him smmmm!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
OF COURSE BABES. first of all for anyone who doesn't know there are a lot of different types of OCD, and no matter what type or types you have, you could not find someone more supportive than Leo motherfucking Valdez. OCD is hard to have and hard to treat and guess what???? he's gonna learn everything he can about it and work with you to figure out how to help you when things are bad and good and all the little uppy downy in between parts.
adding a read more so this doesn't trigger anyone (cw: mentions of contamination, checking, vague mentions of intrusive thoughts, religious ruminations and magical thinking, please do not engage with this post if it could trigger you!!! I love yall <3)
if you have the contamination kind and you're always stuck feeling like nothing's clean enough, Leo understands. He'll take over for you, he'll cast eyes over things and remind you that you did what you're supposed to do and help distract you with something else. He knows to check dates on the groceries he buys you, knows how to help you feel better without accidentally enabling your compulsions.
if you have checking compulsions like relocking doors and making sure the stove is off and appliances are unplugged, he starts doing the closing up routine at night for you. you have a house rule that you're only allowed to check things two times, then Leo will check once for you if you need him to, then he helps you move onto something else. If you're worried that the stove is on and it's going to burn down the house, he never fails to make you laugh by promising to be the one to deal with all the insurance guys.
"Worst case scenario? We pull off the greatest insurance scam in history and retire early to the Swiss alps."
he says it so casually that it never fails to make you laugh, it takes the sting and the stress from your thoughts a little.
if religious ruminations or magical thinking are more your thing, Leo actually knows exactly what to do about that. he pulls out a golden drachma and cuddles with you while he fidgets with it.
"I can get a direct line to any god. If one of them starts beefing with you, I will personally handle it." he kisses you. he mumbles against your lips, and he smiles when he gets you to smile. "I'll also remove every screw, nut, bolt, and support beam in their entire palace and turn everything into breakaway prop furniture."
when your intrusive thoughts get bad he holds your shaky hands and promises that he won't ever let you do anything that could hurt you or someone else, he goes through your affirmations and grounding exercises with you, he reminds you that thought crimes are not crimes.
no matter what your symptoms are or how bad they get, Leo's love for you and deep knowledge that you are an amazing, wonderful, incredible person never wavers. he loves you. he loves being with you, he loves helping you, he loves being the one to care for you. Leo loves knowing that he's able to support you, to ease your burden and make sure you don't feel like you're alone. and you're never going to be alone, because nothing could ever scare Leo away from you. he just loves you too much.
#look if there really are genie rules (aka magical thinking) that bring you down I go dow#with you and we BOTH go down swinging#tw ocd#tw: ocd#cw ocd#cw: ocd#ocd#ocd mention#leo valdez#leo valdez x reader#leo valdez drabbles#heroes of olympus#heroes of olympus x reader#heroes of olympus drabbles#speaking from experience if you couldn't tell lol#yk that tiktok that's like “the cheese is under the sauce”#that's me making sure there's no mold on my food (I already know there's not)#love being in therapy!#in my case specifically love that Leo's just like#he's such a fucking PEACH#I love him so fuckin much#leo when I'm stressed about smth: “what do we do to fix this”#me with a fuckton of religious trauma: “pray harder”#leo: “no-”#but yeah he loves you and supports you#he really is your lighthouse in the turbulent sea of your own mind#he's steadfast and you know that he is#you really get each other through so much#also anon I hope you're doing okay!!! I hope you have whatever resources you need <33 /gen#and I AM NOT QUALIFIED TO HELP PEOPLE IN ANY WAY but if you ever need resources or smth you can always shoot me a message and i'll do my be
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Pac: I wish I had a really nice background story for my- why I'm here. But you know, Felps just crashed the ship and I'm stuck! Fit: You've got an interesting history though, Pac! I mean, look at you escaping that prison! Like, that was not easy for you to do. [...] You've told me lots of stories about yourself and Mike's adventures. You've got a very interesting backstory. Pac: Thank you Fit, thank you. I'm glad to hear that you think it's cool. Fit: I mean– the cannibalism part, that sucks, but it is– It's cool! It's cool.
People keep wondering when Pac's going to tell Fit how he lost his leg, but during their date last week, Fit implied that their characters already had this discussion! Although this could've been an OOC part of their conversation, they've referenced this specific part of Pac's lore in past streams (this is just the most explicit example we've had so far).
[ Full Subtitle Transcript ↓ ]
–
Pac: I wish I had a really nice- um, background story - background story for my- why I'm here. But you know, Felps just crashed the ship and I'm stuck!
Fit: [Chuckles] Well no- you've got an interesting history though, Pac! I mean, look at you escaping that prison! Like, that was not easy for you to do.
Pac: ...No, yeah, you're right.
Fit: You know, and you've been- you have- you've told me lots of stories about yourself and Mike's adventures, like– You've got a very interesting backstory.
Pac: Thank you Fit, thank you. I'm glad to hear that you think it's cool.
Fit: I mean, I mean– the cannibalism part, I mean, that sucks, yeah, but it is– It's cool! It's cool.
Pac: Yeah, right? Yeah- that's- that's not a good part, right? Yeah, I- ugh, yeah, it's a– [He takes a deep breath] Yeah. It's ok.
Fit: Y-yeah, yeah...
Pac: It's ok.
#Hideduo#Pactw#FitMC#QSMP#FitPac#January 9 2024#I was like ''???'' when I didn't see anyone else talking about this but tbf a LOT happened that day#So this is just me dusting dirt off this gem of lore and polishing it before presenting it to the community for re-inspection#<- can you tell I'm writing this in the early AMs#I'm falling asleep at my desk#Q#Anyways. Fit is so lucky Pac's got... interesting taste in men#''Cool trauma bro!'' are you INSANE#I can't remember how chat reacted but I was screaming#lmfaooo#Pac and Fit are so awkward and I find that hopelessly charming#Even if it makes me want to hide my face in my hands and scream#frickin. ''cool trauma bro'' FitMC you're so lucky he loves you#ALSO has anyone else noticed Pac almost always looks down at his leg whenever they bring up the topic of what happened to him in prison?#It's such a small little character trait but I LOVE it#The attention to detail!!! I love it!!!!#Pac's such a good roleplayer
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so did you guys know theres this character called tristan vik disventure camp and
#disventure camp#disventure camp fanart#tristan vik#disventure camp tristan#ghostofsnails#my art#It would be SO tedious to post all of these separately but to be honest ive been dead for so long that i think its just funnier like this#like. yeah. just in case you guys have been wondering what i've been up to.#I have like 2 more i think but i'll give them their own post so i can explain them#ive never hyperfixated on a character like this in my entire life. usually a character hyperfix is super intense and lasts like 2ish weeks.#GUYS ITS BEEN 2+ MONTHS. AND I STILL CANT THINK ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT FOR CARTOON GOTH NONBINARY SILLY PERSON#actually fuck you can i write an essay in tags about why i love them. this is tumblr. and whose even gonna read this anyways. fukit we ball#i followed dc kinda casually as a guilty pleasure for a while but i was instantly drawn to tristan when the designs for the s4 cast dropped#i was like You're telling me there's a GOTH who is UPBEAT and isnt designed like a flawless elf TWINK and is NONBINARY? ME FR????#LIKE OHH THE GOTH NB GETS TO LOOK A LITTLE WEIRD. THEY GET TO BE UNCONVENTIONAL. my aesthetic attraction to them goes crazy. vampire style.#i remember when they got revealed people redesigned them to look more generically pretty & it PAINED ME bc it missed the point SO. BADLY.#ik some people find them boring also & even tho i disagree i can see it if u dont rlly care abt alt stuff. but for me the fact theyre so#kind & upbeat & extroverted WHILE being a SUBCULTURAL GOTH is the draw bc while i do get a kick out of the exaggerated depressed goth#stereotype - its not exactly true to life and so seeing a character that looks and acts like me and real goths makes feel so seen and happy#they also capture my desire to have goth friends SO BADLY im projecting on them SO HARD. They are such top tier friend material you guys...#AND THEYRE A FASHION DESIGNER WHICH FEELS SO IN THEME WITH BEING GOTH THAT IT MAKES ME SO JOYOUS AND CRAZY.#its all so funny because im 100x more excited about getting good goth rep than nonbinary rep LMFAOOO but them being nb is SO important too#Not to mention their voice actor is FANTASTIC and elevates them SOOO MUCH. Also the amount the va is obsessed with them fed my obsession -#sooo insanely you guys.... i feed off of other peoples emotional attachments. AND THEIR ACTING FOR TRIS ADDS SO MUCH DEPTH TO THEIR#CHARACTER IF YOU LOOK FOR IT. I COULD LITERALLY WRITE ESSAYS ABOUT TRISTAN YOU GUYS. IM NOT INSANE.#god you guys this is the first time ive ever had a genuine “i feel seen” feeling from a fictional character I KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE NOW.#i LOVE NONBINARY PEOPLE EXPRESSING THEMSELVES. I LOVE HOW QUEERNESS AND GOTH CULTURE INTERSECTS AND HOW THATS REPRESENTED IN TRISTAN#THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME. AND I KNOW THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE. WHICH JUST MAKES THEM MEAN EVEN MORE TO ME. I LOVE LIFE.#its an endless feedback loop i fear. im trapped in it & loving every second. i will be drawing them until i am in my grave & maybe after.
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this is the emotional equivalent to a nuke being dropped precisely on my head
#david ferrer#rafael nadal#can you imagine playing the last match of your career and you're playing terribly and you're behind by an insurmountable distance#and your DC teammate of 2 decades-turned-captain tells you to go out there and just play for the love of tennis like when you were a kid...#they can never fire him as captain idc how questionable his picks are he was clearly BORN for these changeover pep talks#sportsman: rafael nadal#sportsman: david ferrer#sport: tennis#higher faster stronger#au where i don't feel like dissolving into tears everytime rafa nadal and david ferrer are within 100 feet of each other#if this didn't make me so emotional it'd be; like. REALLY funny#ferru legit shifted into sports anime mode on those last few changeovers huh#(also to the couple new tennis followers hi i love you all and i'm so sorry about the ways in which i will disappoint you#in particular i am so sorry in advance for what i am about to do when the darts world championship starts lmaooo)
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do u think that um. yk Julian was having a rough time in the later seasons. and ofc he wants to talk abt it, wants someone to help him process it, wants someone to just listen. but it's not easy to talk abt. and he wants to talk to Garak, wants Garak to know what's going on in his life, wants to be vulnerable and be met with support and care. but Garak is so emotionally unavailable and so unwilling to break his pleasant facade and so unwilling to deviate from their little social script. he was taught never to show care or vulnerability. and Julian gets so tired of playing their little game when, god, there's a war going on, his life is falling apart, can't Garak even acknowledge how bad things are for both of them? he doesn't need witty retorts, he needs sincerity. and Garak can't give him that. so he withdraws from their friendship. and it's not that Garak doesn't care. it's not that he doesn't want to help. but sincerity and vulnerability were beaten out of him a long time ago, and he doesn't know how to take off his mask. even just acknowledging genuine emotion is practically impossible for him. and maybe that's why ASIT is the apology that it is. it's saying, here, I've learned to be honest, I've learned to be vulnerable. I know the harm I caused you by refusing to acknowledge pain, so here's a whole book of me acknowledging pain.
#this is entirely projection idk if this is at all supported by the text#for the record I am garak here. gosh who knew it could hurt the ppl u love when u refuse to be emotionally vulnerable at all?#god I don't know. it's so hard. how do I look someone in the eyes and say I care. I love you. I want you to be okay. tell me what's wrong#I don't know how to deviate from the pleasant little social script we've rehearsed so many times#even when I know it's all a facade. when we're both refusing to acknowledge the emotional undercurrent of it all.#I want to help you. but that would require me to confront the impossibly big feelings I have abt it. and I can't. I just can't#I'm sorry#sigh. god knows if garak can overcome his repression then I can too. give me another few years. if you're still alive by then#ok to rb LMAO#narcissus's echoes#ds9
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you know the fic is going good when it has you doing MATH to figure out who was how old and when, and who was in the BAU in this year and so on
it'll make sense i PROMISE
#why did the show make everyone's ages and backstories so complicated#like pick a birthday and stick to it#christ alive#criminal minds#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner x fem!reader#aaron hotchner x reader#this enemies to lovers fic will do me in#but i'm loving it so much#EEEEEEEEE#if you're still reading#know i've been tempted to post the first chapter#or two or three#because i have eight chapters written#so i can always wait until i write the next chapter to post another#to give myself some wiggle room#i am desperate to yap about these two can you tell
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#Doodles#Pokemon#Firebland#Silverstreakshipping#Kabu#Larry#The previous post about Larry doing things because he feels like it - I mean Once He's At That Point sure but before that lol#Confessions are hard! Honesty is hard! Vulnerability is hard!! Some things are easier than baring one's whole heart all at once!#Even if they were mutually falling in love with each other - which is a very cute idea to me hehe <3 - to say it first! Ah#Larry's handling it great as you can tell lol#No pinch of desperate want no no it's all fine he's totally undetectable lol flying Well under the radar#Forces himself to un-red-face once observed haha - but did Kabu notice before it fully went away??? (Yes) (Lol)#Still struggling with drawing Kabu agh he's cute why!! Difficult!!#I am pleased with how cute their sitting chibis are in the first one tho haha#Larry sitting so polite and Kabu a bit spread out - differences in comfort and how they hold themselves ah#And yet Larry's the one who uses ''ore'' huh haha ♪#They're both cute#I do love Larry's cover of staring at Kabu as basically being another way of saying ''I can't keep my eyes off you'' lol#You're so subtle Larry he'll never notice#I am also endlessly entertained by polite characters swearing haha such an immature silliness but I like it!#Kabu just enjoying the compliment while Larry is Suffering™ lol just hang in there Larry it'll all work out#I couldn't decide at first which of the first panel to go with but smol convinced me the open desperation was funnier lol#But I still like the edit! Enjoy Larry being fully ❤️💕💖💞💗 at Kabu hehe
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more!! again!! for the nico after blood of olympus fic!! actually I thought of this while writing the last one but I just finished it.
His elbows buckle and he lets himself fall into Will, snorting at his theatrical groan under the weight. They lay there for a second until Will shoves him gently, and Nico lets him manoeuvre them into a more comfortable position.
"Hi," he whispers, moving a curl away from his cheek. The greenish tint of the loft window casts a weird shadow over Will's face.
"Hey yourself," Will murmurs back, winking.
Nico rolls his eyes. "You look like Apollo when you do that. Please stop." Will squawks in protest.
"I do not! Also, since when do you remember what Apollo looks like? Actually, no, don't answer that, you can't bring up my dad while we're in bed, Nico, why would you do this to me?"
Now it's Nico's turn to sputter and whack Will in the chest - getting another dramatic oof and a laugh in return - before turning around to face Hazel's bed. He's not sure when he'll ever be able to sleep facing the wall. Will can't do it either.
As Will's arms curl around his waist and draw him back against him, just like they did back in the infirmary that one day, he thinks maybe he'd be okay trying that with him sometime. One day, in a house with gates, no longer wary of monsters.
Will noses the back of his neck, causing him to twitch. "What is it?"
Will's answering smile presses through the rough cotton of his t-shirt. "Nothing, sunshine."
Nico frowns under the covers. "Hey, what do you think of houses with gates?" He whispers.
"Gates? Well, it'd be safer, I guess, but we'd lose the neighbours coming over -"
"As if you want to see random people at the door anyway. What if they're monsters?"
"Oh, come on, darlin', I'm from Austin. Of course I gotta keep space for the neighbours to come knocking."
"…Fences? Actually, hey, why'd you assume I was talking about us? Obviously - Obviously I was talking about random. Random houses. For architecture reasons."
Will muffles his laugh into the back of his neck, again. "Oh, my bad. And I'm only here because you ripped a stitch on the lava wall yesterday."
Nico feels his ears warm.
"Shut up."
"I didn't say anything."
"..Still."
Will reels him in closer until his back hits his chest and he can press a soft peck to Nico's still-red ears. "I think a fence is a great idea, by the way. We could ask Hazel for help with some ward stones too, like you have in the cabin. Gotta make sure we've got at least one window and standing space in every direction, though, or at least in the east, because you know my dad would sulk if he didn't get to scream me awake in the morning."
Nico's blush gets worse.
"Now who's talking about your dad in bed?" He gives up on pretending. Will sees him through every time, anyway. "Also, shrines, obviously, and we need a spot to stargaze."
"Yeah, shrines, obviously. Maybe just yours, mine, and Lady Hestia's though, or else everyone else is gonna get pissy."
Nico barks out a laugh like it's shocked out of him. "Pissy? Don't let them hear you say that."
Will holds him tighter and settles against the pillows. "Sure thing, sunshine. Now can we sleep?"
"Yeah, yeah."
It's not long after that that Will's breath evens out behind him, his muscles untensing. Nico knows he's got a few minutes yet, so he thinks.
Today was…. good.
Today was nice. Normal, even. Just a day of camp schedules, working in the infirmary, an admittedly short campfire, and this. No monsters, and no mistakes. No deaths, but..
Unbidden, the moments in the infirmary come to mind. He thinks of helping Will scrub in for his one surgery of the day, a kid that had gotten parts of an arrow stuck in their leg a week ago and hadn't noticed til yesterday. He thinks of yesterday during capture-the-flag, stepping in and desperately trying to copy what he'd watched Will do, because Lydia was hanging crooked from a tree and there was no one else around but him-
He thinks of Patroclus tying the straps of Achilles' armour, watching his lover sleep peacefully. He thinks of what Connor had told him about at the campfire weeks ago, of Silena Beauregard taking on a drakon when Clarisse declared the Ares Cabin wouldn't be fighting.
He thinks he might understand.
Lydia wasn't the same (thank the gods), but if there was something to be done that only Will could do right, yet couldn't, and the only way Nico could take up his mantle would be to die trying - then, yeah. He'd do whatever it would take for these kids. To do what Will would do. He's gone to Tartarus already, hasn't he? At worst, he'd try his best and greet his father early if he failed to survive. Nico could even give Charon a tip on the way in for the hell of it, why not?
If there is a luxury that comes from being a child of Hades, after all, it is that dying is not the thing that scares him.
There's a brazier still lit outside the window. Its glow falls in slits across their bed.
Will grumbles, pushing his feet forward until their ankles are wound together. The sheets shift.
Nico smiles into the dark, into the chirping of crickets and the soft glow of the fireflies out the window, and falls asleep.
more for this fic:
scene 0 - prologue-ish scene 1 - the library of social awkwardness or here (or in my heart, 'kidney function is not a right, it's a privilege' lol)
general writing directory
also lmk if you want more lore. I am so down to talk about this fic + the worldbuilding ideas I have for it in the notes it is unreal
#writing process#nico di angelo trying to make friends#when the characters start doing their own thing and you're just along for the ride#would y'all help me choose a fic title if I asked?#will solace#toying with a chb fic about nico and grief and what three days in the infirmary actually looks like#plus my healthy nico agenda and a healthy dose of solangelo obv#nico di angelo#riordanverse#pjo fic#worldbuilding my beloved#they're teenagers your honour#I loved writing this scene TT#maybe a timeskip idk#solangelo#solangelo fic#pjo#hmmmmMMMMMMM you tell me which cabin lydia is from#she's like less than 14#lydia morrin is a young sweet spunky child that thinks she's a genius (like we all did) with a companion lack-of-confidence a mile wide#gotta say i am LOVING this new writing technique i am trying out with just writing scenes as I go#and creating this story trail I can actually trace and work with bc i have smth on the page now#like just from this I already have three more scenes I could write and I love it#thw you're writing and the sentences sounds a bit off grammatically but every other option you can see is so much worse
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they're trying to strap me down to a table and wheel me away for being insane but i get my hands free and grab you by the shoulders and shake you and say BAKUGOU GETS HORNY ABOUT THE SIMPLEST THINGS DO YOU GET IT !!!!!! DO YOU GET IT !!!!!! YOU KISS HIS CHEEKS AND LAUGH AT HIS BAD JOKES AND TELL HIM HE'S YOUR BEST FRIEND AND HE GETS SO EMBARRASSINGLY TURNED ON AND HE DOESN’T KNOW WHY DO YOU GET IT !!!!!!!!
#he doesn’t know how to handle his emotions in any way other than physical#he can't tell you with his words !!!!!! so he just has to show you !!!!!!!#he just has to do the love to you !!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO YOU GET IT !!!!!!!!#you're sitting on the couch watching a movie and you're fiddling with your engagement ring and you turn it around and take it off#put it on his pinky and then smile at him all cute before putting it back on#and it's just NOTHING it's just your inability to SIT STILL but he's LIKE OH MY GOD I'M IN LOVE I'M A SAP I'M A SICKO#I'M TAKING YOU ON THIS COUCH RIGHT NOW I CAN'T WAIT#akfnrieejqkoq DO YOU GET IT !!!!!!#— and then i'm wheeled away and you can only faintly hear me screaming at you#i am never seen again#× bakugou ×
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