#you're probably gonna be sharing spouses

[voidheartkisses]

get sandwiched catboy

[kalims]

kiss your best friend | diasomnia

kiss your best friend and see how they react!

parts. one , two , three , four , five , six , seven

characters. malleus, lilia, sebek, silver

content. gender neutral reader as usual, mentions of murder by lilia's cooking, someone faints lol

note. finally last part after ten years /j

malleus

goes absolutely silent but his surprise is definitely there -> eyes widen, brows raise on a miniscule scale. you'd think the guy would be all lowkey about his joy but five seconds later and there are comical sparkles surrounding his face.

I mean. you had to formally confirm that you two were friends before, and you had off-handedly linked his name and best friend in the same sentence a few months later (he was bursting for like a week.) and now all that?

thrown away, nu-uh. you two are NOT friends no more, he doesn’t have a single care in the world. he's throwing the friends label off a cliff with his foot and skipping off with joy cause you just got upgraded to the next ruler of briar valley wink wonk.

or perhaps you'd like being referred to as his consort? he can always make the people refer to you as both.

if you're wondering why he's so silent all of a sudden; malleus: already thinking of how he'd decorate the castle when you move in with him. maybe... he can break down the wall to link your two bedrooms together—wait no he'd very much like to share the same room instead..

"child of man, do you prefer violet or green?"

"uh... green...?"

"excellent choice, you have my gratitude."

the thing you should be asking is 'why' because it's either the main color theme of your wedding or the gem he'd engrave on your ring (he's very happy it's green though, since it'd be a constant reminder of him.. oh he knows! he should get his a color of your eyes too—)

someone stop him.

lilia

spiderman kisses spiderman kisses spiderman kisses spiderman kisses

more knowledgeable than malleus about the level up of relationships so he doesn't jump from best friends to newlyweds immediately. actually he doesn't even need a label, if you're going around kissing him he's just gonna act like you two are a married couple without a confirmation on your status'

"darling, could you hand me the sugar?"

"lilia, I hope you know that you're supposed to use salt for the sauce not sugar." <- *passes the right bottle*

ignoring lilia's attempts on lives he acts pretty normal.

ahem, besides the fact that your first kiss on him has made him come to the conclusion that he can now incorporate kisses in your daily routine since you've already done it, so apparently that means he can too.

kiss him once, he kisses you thrice I guess. it's either the occasional jumpscare from the ceiling since he felt like reminding you of his love through a pack or the times you blink and feel a sensation against your lips without seeing anything cause his affection can be silent as it is loud you suppose.

pov student you were speaking to who definitely saw that but you didn't midst your blink: 😨—

"lilia are we dating."

"i suppose it would make us more official like you humans like, so of course~"

he just accepts it without any complaints, just announce you're spouses and he'll accept that too probably.

#chill

silver

if we have spiderman kisses surely we can have the sleeping beauty kiss?

sleeping beauty kisses sleeping beauty kisses sleeping beauty kisses sleeping beauty kisses

I reckon he would be a pretty light sleeper though the quantity of his sleep is more often than not so even though he accidentally passes out a lot he's really easy to wake. trained to be vigilant and all, courtesy of his murderous father (well, murderous through food?)

he knows the weight of certain things. a blanket draped over him, the feeling of something squirming on his shoulder—a squirrel, most likely. something on his head, a bird or some other critter. but this?

a light press on his lips, gone as quickly as it came. that, he isn't sure of. the animals don't tend to linger around his face so the unknown origin of it has curiosity opening his eyes.

and boy, he is trying to find every reason to not believe that you didn't peck him.

perhaps they touched it? he furrows his brows lightly, attempting hard at trying to avoid your gaze because he feels guilty at his first assumption, you're his best friend! you wouldn't do such a thing..

"did you touch my lips?"

"nah, is it fine that I kissed you?"

"..."

"..."

*passes out*

is he dreaming?

sebek

in what scenario will sebek even let you near him? hmmm.. I suppose being 'best friends' (he calls you self proclaimed, and that you guys aren't that close but still rages over someone and hits them with an essay why you're so much better than their insults) makes you more tolerable around to be closer.

totally not the fact that he might have a crush on you, which can't be right cause he can't be capable of having feelings for a *gasp* human!

scandalous. he knows.

raises a brow when you do anything but be discrete with your intentions of shuffling closer but he doesn't really double back, okay. he's getting a little concerned now when you continue getting closer, he takes a step back not because you're near or anything but this behavior is... just strange.

you're in his face already and before he can question (loudly) what in the seven's name you're doing before you just casually peck him on the lips?

WHAT IN TARNATION!

stiffens up immediately, his face looks like it's holding in a yell. maybe that's why it's getting so red? he's just standing there with shoulders so tense he looks like he's trying to seem big.

"..." WHAT JUST HAPPENED. DID THIS HUMAN JUST.. NO, WE ARE MERELY BEST FRIENDS—are we even friends.. NO! THIS IS THE MOST INAPPROPRIATE ACT TO COMMIT. THIS HUMAN NEEDS TO KNOW BOUNDARIES. I mean he enjoyed that and all—I mean what..

"why are you so quiet."

if only you knew.

[cooki3face]

your first time alone with your spouse 🖤

I finally sorted out a content schedule for my tarot readings, Instagram page, and TikTok account so I’ll be posting large tarot readings every other day, and in the days in between I’ll be posting things like channeled messages from your person and three card pulls over on my Instagram and TikTok. If you don’t follow me on my Instagram account already go check it out, @cookiefacetarot where I post channeled messages from your person, divine masculine and divine feminine channeled messages, divine masculine and divine feminine energy updates and affirmations for those of you who are in high-level soul mate connections or twin flame connections. I’ll also be doing mini-channeled messages from Spirit as well as horoscope forecasts on Mondays. I love you so much, thanks for reading this little blurb before I get into the reading! 🖤

***

i.

I'm so excited about these readings, I can feel the love and the energy entering the room. 🥹

This person is going to spend a lot of money to make this night extra special, they may go the extra mile to figure out where you're going to go, where you’re going to honeymoon, they’re going to be thinking about the food, the music, it’ll be a whole production. I’m also hearing spirit telling me that you’re not going to want to make a spectacle of your marriage or your wedding night right away. There’s something specific coming through for a handful of you about the things you’re going to achieve with this person or the moments you’re gonna share together that you’ll want to wait to share with the world because you never want to take something that’s developing or is meant to be protected and give everyone access to it right away. Your first pregnancy you’ll probably want to wait a while to announce. Your engagement you’ll probably want to keep a secret for a while or at least until you guys are married, you guys may marry very quickly because you guys just can’t wait. I’m hearing “private until it’s permanent”

I see this person not making quick moves or even having any particular intentions toward you or expectations for this wedding night. We all know what goes on between a couple on the night of the wedding but I see this person really wanting to slow down and enjoy your energy and enjoy the energy that comes with being married. The sun card in reverse talks about one’s inner child. You may have known this person for a long time here or had a very long process of coming into union with this person once and for all and this is such a wish fulfillment for them and they could’ve dreamed of the day you were married a long time. This person values you, they want to spend time with you. I’m hearing “Life isn’t near long enough a sentence to be with you.” If this person could they would ask for more time when it was their time to pass on so they could spend it with you. This person adores you, this person wants to go where you go.

I see this person going out of their way to use their connections and resources to make this night as special as they envisioned it to be. They’ve been manifesting a long-term commitment with you for a long time and then getting it is proof they're meant for something in this life or that the universe loves them I’m hearing. This person fully intends to sit with you and enjoy you all night long. I hear you guys staying up all night together and talking about your memories, laughing, genuinely enjoying your time together, and shifting into the energy that will be there and be shared within your life together. There’s genuine love here, genuine affection, and support. This person couldn’t be happier and they may tell you this that night. You guys could share a lot of intimate embraces this night as well. Feeling each other's skin, feeling each other's touch in deep profound ways because you know that the worst is over and your time to be together and spend the rest of your lives together has finally arrived. I’m hearing “At Last” by Etta James but particularly Beyoncé’s version because I prefer it. When you’re really in love you listen to Beyoncé’s version. When it’s bittersweet and you want to cry a little you listen to Etta’s version.

This night will give the two of you the space and the time to finally be done with any heartbreak and really truly put the past behind you and rejoice now that your connection is harmonious and has reached the point the two of you’d been wishing for and working towards all along. This connection will be so harmonious and you guys will compliment one another so well and empower one another that this single connection will birth an entirely new reality for the two of you. Enlightening the both of you spiritually, giving the two of you the power to join forces and go after life as a unit and bring prosperity and abundance most people could not even dream of. You and this person will be a power couple or may even grow to do something that will help many people. Individually and together. There couldn’t be a better match.

This Union will bring about such powerful change and enlightenment and alignment for the two of you. Bringing about the release of any self-limiting beliefs and fears. I’m hearing once the two of you are open, you’ll remain that way. Your higher selves belong to one another, you’ll feed off of each other's energies, ideas, courage, and love.

You’ll be rich together. In love and in finances.

The months of August and September as well as the fall and winter months and those seasons may be significant to you or connection. 🍂

***

ii.

This person wants to love you down pile two. I see this person planning a really intimate and romantic wedding night with you. They know they want to make love to you. I’m also getting you’re going to look so good on your wedding day that this person is going to want to get hot and heavy as soon as you guys get in the door. This person is so passionate about you. And not in a negative way like that’s all they see you as but they’re so passionate about you, nobody turns them on like you do and they’ll instantly be ready to show you just how much. With the fool card in reverse they could’ve been holding back all day or for a really long time, the two of you could’ve waited till marriage to be intimate or could’ve abstained from sex for a little while while you were waiting to be married.

This person has very romance novel esc fantasies about you lol they may enjoy romance novels or enjoy romance as a genre as a whole. And I think this person feels as though they’d be taking a risk by coming towards you in this way or revealing how much they desire you to you pile two. You may not have ever seen this person in this light or seen how passionate they can be or what the other side of them is like. This person could be like night and day. Very sweet on the surface, very passionate and sexual within. You may not have had a lot of sex with this person, your relationship could’ve been really emotionally intimate or really heavily influenced by emotions and just being sweet and gentle with this person but this person desires you in ways you don’t know the real scope of I’m getting. This person craves being one with you and I think that their sexually charged energy is really a deep desire to be extremely close to you and become one.

This person wants to feel deeply connected with you and on your wedding night, they will. You’re this person's ten of cups. You’re this person's true divine love and harmonious connection. This person knows your the one and has known it for a long time and the way they see it, no matter the distance, no matter what happens, you’ll always be their person and they’ll always love you no matter what. The wish fulfillment of being wed to you only makes them wish to be close to you more, which only makes them happier. This person could really like it when you do things for them or really enjoys it when you take care of them, it makes them feel incredibly special and loved. This would be the person who would take care of you for the rest of your days just to return the smallest gesture you did for them like three years ago, January 2nd at 3:30 pm because they love you so much.

This persons feels indebted to you for the rest of their life just because you exist and it’s an honor to be indebted to you in their eyes. The appreciation and devotion this person has with you is truly unmatched. I’m hearing “I wouldn’t rather be any place else or with anybody else.” This person could’ve told you this before or had been telling you this for a long time.

This person has never had to think about if you were the one or not or question their love for you. They’ve always felt safe by you, they’ve always wanted nothing more than to be loved by you.

***

iii.

I see you getting everything you deserve on your wedding night pile three, you could even be nervous or unaware of a surprise or something that's being prepared for you behind the scenes by your partner but it'll be everything you could ever wish for. You could be heavily manifesting a specific outcome but your person really has your back and they’ll come through for you. You may not have met the person you’re going to marry yet but this person is going to invest so much time into really getting to know you and really studying you. This person will be so incredibly romantic and creative. This person knows what you need. You may even be stressed out while planning the wedding or on the day of the wedding and you may even have conflicts with others, guests, a mother-in-law, a father-in-law, or even have some disagreements with your partner about what is that you want to do but I’m hearing that this person knows you beyond your fears and they may even know you better than you know yourself and when they come to the rescue and plan things out for you you always really enjoy what they’ve put together even if you were worried about it in the beginning.

You could be really particular about things and sometimes indecisive but this person knows you so well that they bring your deepest manifestations to fruition without you even having to communicate what you need and what you want. This person completes you, the two of you fit together like puzzle pieces. I’m hearing this person is going to make your wedding night extremely relaxing for you and make your honeymoon extremely relaxing. They may draw you a bath the first night, help you take your shoes off, or help you take down your hair, take the clips out of your hair, and get unready. This person will help you decompress before they help themselves decompress because in this person's mind their purpose is to make sure you’re cared for and happy. No ask is too big for this person.

You may have trouble in your love life or have had bad experiences with relationships and not getting everything you deserve but this person isn’t going to be like that for you and that’s why you’re marrying them because this person will show up and prove to you how worthy you are of care and affection without you having to ask for it or compromise. This person would never let anyone hurt you, and they would never hurt you. I hear they’d do a good job of standing up for you and showing the world and everyone else how much they love and appreciate you. You’re a top priority to this person. There’s nobody better. There’s nobody more worthy. You may cry a lot or be someone who is very emotionally driven and very easily stressed out or moved and this person will be the most perfect support system. I’m hearing you don’t need any more friends and family lol this person IS friends and family.

This person moves mountains and any blockages out of your way. This person is very passionate about you. Whatever they can do to make your life soft and easy they will. I’m hearing “spoiled.” This person is going to spoil you and really make sure you feel overly loved and safe. Especially heard and seen. You may have grown up being ignored or invalidated constantly by parents, family members, or even friends and this person is going to allow your inner child to heal and allow you to shed the limiting idea that you’re really not truly worth being listened to or that other peoples needs are more important than yours. You’re the whole world to this person, you could not ask for a bigger role in this person's life.

This person is going to be very gentle and patient with you. Any time you have a hard time expressing yourself, they’re going to be there to help you and understand what’s going on. Anytime you’re stressed out and can’t handle the weight of something they're going to be there to carry it with you. This person is going to allow you to be able to pause and release things and receive effortlessly. Don't settle. This person will come.

***

Beautiful piles today, these were all very sweet and emit such strong energy of safety and stability and I can’t help but be happy for everyone lol I love you. Thankyou for coming to visit me, make sure you come back soon and bring your loved ones. If you’d like to book a personal reading with me you could find my booking link in my Instagram bio. Thank you. 🖤

[sealofarchives]

Hello, could you do a Rottmnt headcanon of what kind of relationship Leo, Raph, Donnie and Mikey would be?

Headcanon: The reader might need 4 rings in the future since they couldn't decide on one turtle. (Requested prompt)

A/N: sorry for bringing up watt/pad again but, I did at least a couple of oneshots towards the reader in a poly relationship with the guys. So I had a bit of deja vu seeing this type of prompt again (probably around 5 years of writing) but anyway...

One last note: It was a bit difficult to understand the wording towards this particular ask. I already had some unpleasant interactions with "those fans" so I hesitated for a bit with this one.

So please double check your asks before sending it because I don't want to end up with another semi-hiatus because of asks that were out of my control...

If this isn't the kind of relationship you're into, then just skip this one.

Leo

He honestly wasn't expecting you to make the first move.

And tbh, he kept pacing around his room by the time the new feelings bonked him on the head. Like "Ooooh no... (Y/N)'s actually really really really cute..."

Surprisingly, he went to Splinter for advice. Part of his soul left his body when the rat man explained the importance of that special relationship in a lovey dovey manner. But, actually listened slowly realizing Splinter's previous relationships ended in failure. Especially with how things are with Splinter and Big Mama.

Its close to the end of the week when you suggest that idea to date all four of them. And you were very much taken back that he's okay with it. Though he can't promise not to be jealous from time to time. But, he and his brothers will make sure not to break your heart and will swear by it.

- More likely to do surprise visits (or alerting you with a text that he's dropping by for a few minutes. sometimes close to an hour or more if he's not really in the mood for a night patrol)

- Accidentally starts light hearted competitions with him and his brothers trying to impress you. He's still gonna be a showboat but tones it down the moment you pretend to ignore him.

- He's a bit insane and brave with the idea of wanting to meet your family members (the ones that you feel comfortable with). Or towards people that have been there for you in those darker times. Aside from April and his future self being close to a guardian figure to Casey Jr. And the brief time he and his family had with Karai, might be the reasons why he wants to reach out more. Mostly starting small though since the mental scar from the Krang and Shredder really changed him as a person.

Its usually Mikey or Donnie that challenge the red slider turtle to a friendly game on winning your affection. And when he's not feeling up to it, he just waits when Raph's turn is over and asks for your TLC (tender loving care).

Despite the horrors, he's still the same ol whiner. And will probably latch on to you with the most saddest eyes. That you're luckily immune to as you hold hands with one of his brothers for the start of the next week. Donnie has used a spray bottle with water at him and still does it even when its not his turn.

Raph

Very confused about the idea and trying to make sense of it.

It might be close to a few weeks where he finally understands. (mainly asking from April because his brothers can make it sound more confusing)

He hasn't really thought that much about the existential dread of the mutant/human relationship until seeing either Leo or Donnie silently anxious about it. Like the alligator snapping turtle is always more focused on keeping his family safe. And with you as a partner (and potential future spouse) being shared with him and the rest of his brothers. Mind Raph is pestering him even more just to say it out loud than just waiting for you to lead the relationship.

He'll eventually get used to it and given his oldest brother status. Takes it with ease being more patient compared to their high energy.

- Doesn't realize he acts like a "proper gentleman" (or gentleturtle as Donnie would say) when Raph opens the door for you while you're carrying boxes or something. Or offers to help you with the heavy lifting. Even Splinter calls him out on that behavior.

- When its his turn dating you, you get immediate "dibs" on everything. He plays very innocent with you but on his brothers. They always work together on a prank back at him for being annoying about it.

- Tends to look at your hands sometimes. He blushes thinking about how soft it feels around his face and lightly tracing around where its safe to touch his spiky shell.

While he always has good intentions, his brothers heavily hate the 'chaperone or third wheel checking in on the date idea'.

- It's mostly brought at least once a month and the trio usually try to tell you ahead of time before it happens again.

He'll be slightly grumpy whenever the trio share a single brain cell about a really stupid thing that he won't get.

- And he'll whine for a bit if you end up taking their side so, just take his side to save him from another wrinkle on his Raph chasm.

Donnie

He's silently making a fuss about it during the first month.

And a bit at himself, for waiting so long to ask you out. Before you went ahead with the bold move of "I don't want you guys to fight over me so... Is it okay if I date all four of you?"

It takes him a long while to get used to it. Or when Dr Feelings notices the softshell turtle not being open and honest about this relationship with you.

However once he's fully settled in, a very charming and laidback sort of relationship.

- I always get the vibe he uses 'dearest or darling' as his term of affection towards you. (His brothers used to tease him about it but, on days where bad luck decided to give this turtle a break and more on them. They're pleading for your help and whether you want to add fuel to that fire. That's on you)

- To me, he has that dramatic hopeless romantic energy. The only difference he pulls it off better than the dense couples in rom com movies/shows. With the amount of words he knows, at least a few or almost all of his compliments at you will send your heart into a flutter.

- At least every now and then, he'll try to dazzle you with something. Either one of his incredible inventions or surprising you with your favorite thing. (He'll boldly insist he was a step ahead getting it as a surprise. Even though his brothers actually chipped in to avoid another "The Purple Game" incident)

He sort of has a friendly rivalry with Leo on trying to make you laugh.

- If he starts to gloat about it, especially winning with the claim "Told you I was the funniest."

You kissing the softshell turtle's lips will instantly shut him down. use that power wisely

He unfortunately has jealousy issues by the time his turn is up.

- Like pretending to give the cold shoulder until you need help with something he's an expert at.

Mikey

Very much the mature one taking this relationship seriously.

Even though it took a few days with Donnie's help to get a better understanding of your idea of the poly relationship.

Dr Feelings and Dr Delicate Touch are working overtime because of these dumb dumbs sometimes.

Despite that, absolutely the sweetest turtle boyfriend. (and best future turtle husband material out of the four of them)

- While he has the Lou Jitsu charm, Mikey's bundle of sunshine is a whole another level. You can't help but, slowly break into a smile from his toothy grin.

- If you're the type who takes a long while to warm up to pda. He'll mostly stick to handholding and ask whenever you want a hug or kiss from him. (He's definitely more warm as a result of the mystic fire-based energy and ninpo that just naturally went with the flow towards him. So you sometimes fall asleep on his shoulder without realizing it)

- More likely to make any boring task you dread doing into a fun adventure. You both have matching hats from a previous grocery trip and pretended it was a mission from one of the Jupiter Jim comics.

His brothers were totally not jelly about it.

Very much tries to hide his embarrassment from his brothers suggesting 'better date ideas' to the best of his ability. He glared a few times at Raph with the chaperone idea. The usual youngest not getting along with the oldest brother sort of deal. So whenever you're around, the biggest sign is a strained smile on his face while lying that everything is okey-dokey.

- He almost clamped his shell shut when Splinter immediately disapproved the ideas with something even more embarrassing.

The only downside is he might go to some extreme lengths with how stubborn his brothers act.

- So you might need additional help from Splinter or April to prevent a new doctor persona along the lines of Dr Chaos.

[fanficfish]

explaining characters in hetalia badly: family member archtype edition

an incomplete list for funsies

just imagine they're all at a big family reunion lol

Germany: The closeted cousin who still hasn't figured it out.

Prussia: The cool older cousin who's jacked up on the remnants of the energy drinks he chugged during finals week trying to study for his med school exams. Probably specialized in kids medicine, but he's too jittery to confirm.

Italy V: The cousin who's a cousin because someone married someone a couple months ago and has no idea about all the ettiquette rules ye and what not to discuss in front of Great Aunt Sarah.

China: Great Aunt Sarah

Italy R: The cousin who's just hit his highschool years, and has decided MHA and Valorant is his whole personality.

England: The one manning the grill.

France: The one actually manning the grill.

America: The guy who's young enough to be your older brother but old enough that he's a dad. Don't worry, he's cool- he won't make you babysit, but he's gonna show up with those kids in biker jackets and they'll do a fun dance to entertain everyone halfway through dinner.

Russia: The uncle that apparently is a war vet. Definitely saw things he shouldn't have seen and you don't leave your kids with him. Tells the wildest stories over dinner though.

Canada: The cousin who you forget exists because he's actually normal. Actuality has probably spiked something.

Japan: The one hiding in a room playing video games. He might share if you ask nicely.

Lithuania: Someone's spouse. Not sure whose, but he made a nice caserole.

Sweden: That one distant relative who you almost forgot to invite.

Finland: The guy who showed up and you're not sure where he came from, but he's kinda fun so no one questions it.

Norway: The one who was forced to tag along with the rest of the family.

Iceland: The one who pretends he doesn't want to be there but he'd show up even if he wasn't invited because the food is kinda good.

Denmark: The one bringing the alcohol and manning the bar you didn't kow you had.

Latvia: The one trying to sneak underage drinks.

Estonia: The one pretending to be a normal person with his "honor student" and "full ride scholarship next year" but is secretly helping Latvia sneak a drink.

Spain: The uncle who's been married ten times.

Switzerland: The one who only showed up because he was begged to. Either ends up in the corner watching the game or in the middle of the table retelling some grand tale.

Liechtenstein: The one bringing all the delicious deserts and a fruit tray and forced Switzerland to socialize.

Austria: The one insisting on putting on the radio the moment the "go ahead" for the food is said. Might have even called up everyone to remind them to bring their instruments.

Hungary: The one who gets everyone dancing the moment Austria whips out the fiddle tunes.

Seychelles: The one who innocently suggested a board game after the dance-off winds down.

Hong Kong: The cousin who sticks around long enough to say hello to the aunts and uncles and grandparents and get some food before hiding in the room with Japan.

Belarus: The cousin who's a movie-cutter highschool "popular girl" and spends the whole time on her phone texting her boyfriend.

Ukraine: The aunt that break up the board game fights and bans it from future events.

Luxenberg: You don't know what he does for a living, but he brings cool stuff for everyone.

Netherlands: The globetrotting uncle who you're pretty sure knows everyone and everything.

Belgium: The cool aunt who's single and living life.

Phillipines and Thailand: The fresh-out-of-collegers cousin who keeps taking photos of everything.

Malaysia: The fresh-out-of-colleger cousin also taking photos but only aesthetic ones.

Taiwan: The aunt that starts making smoothies unprompted.

Monaco: The cousin who brings a book to read in the corenr.

Cameron: The uncle you don't want to get into an argument about sports with. Switzerland does not head this warning.

Greece: The uncle who drove all day and night to get here with a full car, and is now knocked out on the couch.

Turkey: The funny wine grandpa.

Cyprus: The college dropout who now works at a seven-eleven.

Egypt: The cousin who's studying history and is pretty average except you have photographic evidence that he sat next to a pond and talked to ducks for half an hour and was very serious about it.

[cowgurrrl]

Okay this is soooo very out there in actual probability of this being logical but the idea of a pool in Jackson or like people are allowed to go out to lake or something or they dig a lake like idek but something that involves reader in a swimsuit and Joel like 😳 in public so maybe a lil bit of jealous Joel in there, I just think it would be so cute and fun and spicy and idek if this makes sense hahaha, I’m so sorry for being awful at explaining ideassss🤦‍♀️🤣

The Snake River actually runs through Jackson so it’s entirely plausible (yes, I did do research for this)

Surprise

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

Author’s note: I didn’t go into this wanting to write smut but it happened and I don’t hate it?? Please be nice to me I’m just a girl

Summary: Joel has something planned for you [3.3k]

Warnings: language, murder jokes, Joel being a little insecure, Joel the Menace making a return, smut (18+ MINORS DNI), fingering, dirty talk, sex in a semi-public place??, almost getting caught, brief mention of a safe word

Joel Miller is not a spontaneous person. It was one of the first things you found out about him. He hates surprises almost as much as he hates planning them. He's someone who likes to know what's happening and when. He loves a plan. But he loves you more. 

Everyone has gone back to school, and the seasons are in a neverending battle of when one begins and the other ends. The hazy August heat permeates the windows of your house as you lie in bed, hiding from the sun and the rest of your responsibilities. This time of year makes you especially grateful for your early morning patrol shifts. You get to finish up your work before the world has the opportunity to finish preheating, and then the town is quiet after that, with people shuffling off to work or school. Maybe that's why Joel wanders into your shared bedroom with your backpacks in hand.

"Are you doin' anythin' for the rest of the day?" He asks, and you give him a confused look. 

"Besides waiting for our daughter to come home from school? No, I didn't have any major plans." You tease, and he rolls his eyes before tossing your bag at you. 

"Meet me downstairs in five minutes." He says.

"For what?"

"It's a surprise."

"Are you finally going to kill me?" You ask, and he scoffs.

"Honey, if I was gonna kill you, I woulda done it a long time ago."

"Fair point. Suspicion always points to the spouse first," you say, sitting up in bed. "Where are we going?"

"Does the word 'surprise' mean nothin' to you?" 

"Only when it's coming from your mouth."

"Downstairs. Five minutes." He says, effectively ending the conversation by turning on his heels and walking away. You groan in protest but get up anyways. If it's something he planned, it's probably worth getting out of bed for. Still, you shuffle your feet lazily as you put more distance between yourself and an afternoon nap. 

He's almost giddy as you walk out of the house and into the blaring sunshine. Ellie still has a few more hours of school left, and even then, she's gotten over you and Joel walking her to and from class. She's becoming more independent as she gets older, which is fine, but seeing her not need you as much hurts. You talk about it on the way to wherever you're going. Joel says he's noticed the same thing but doesn't want to pry too much and risk being labeled "uncool." You have to literally bite your tongue to keep from asking when he was ever cool. 

When you're far enough outside Jackson's walls, Joel grabs your hand and intertwines your fingers, swinging them a little as you walk through the fields. Rock jasmines and asters shake in the window around you, painting the world in shades of white, blue, pink, and yellow. Sometimes it's easy to forget just how beautiful Wyoming can be, but when vast meadows stretch out to the mountain slopes, and the sky is unbelievably clear, you remember. You look over at Joel with his long, graying hair and scruffy facial hair and smile. It's also easy to forget just how beautiful he can be with his gentle hands and crooked nose. He turns to meet your eyes, taking away your view of his side profile, and gives you a look.

"What?" He asks, and you shake your head. "You're starin'."

"I just like looking at you." You admit, making him scoff. Joel is probably the only person in this world who's unaware of how attractive he is. 

"Needa get your eyes checked." He mumbles under his breath. 

"Big talk coming from a man who refuses to wear his glasses even though he desperately needs them." 

"I don't desperately need 'em." 

"Really?" You ask, and he hums. You lift your free hand away from your body and hold up three fingers. "How many fingers am I holding up?" He tugs on the hand he's holding and pulls you against him until your chest collides with his. The wind gets knocked out of you, either because of the impact or because you can see all his freckles when you get this close to him. He smirks as he stares at you, glancing between your eyes and fingers.

"Three." He says easily, leaning in to kiss you. You move back enough to make him huff in annoyance.

"That's cheating." 

"Mm, I think it's called bein' resourceful."

"Is that right?" You ask, and he hums as he finally kisses you. You indulge him for a second or two before moving back again. "Could you really not see that far?" He sighs and mumbles your name, but you refuse to let it go. "Joel, if your vision's that bad, you need to be wearing them on patrol. I don't want you to make stupid mistakes because you can't see six feet in front of you."

"Look, I hear you. I do. I just..." he trails off, and you raise your eyebrows at him. "It's stupid." 

"Stupider than not wearing them at all?" You ask, and he rolls his eyes—the drama.

"They make me look old, okay? That's why I don't wanna wear 'em," he says. Once again, you have to bite your tongue to stop yourself from making a snide comment. "I'm already one of the oldest guys on patrol, and that's enough for the younger guys to make fun of me. If I start wearin' 'em on patrol, I'll never hear the end of it, especially from Tommy."

"You really care what they think about you?" You ask.

"No," he starts, but quickly shakes his head. "Yes. It didn't bother me, but then they started sayin' they didn't know what you see in an old buzzkill like me, and I just... I don't know." He says. You take a deep breath and wrap your arms around his neck. 

"Does this have anything to do with you suddenly planning surprises for me?" 

"I told you it was stupid." He avoids the question, but you still find an answer. He tries to hide his face in your shoulder, embarrassed, but your hands find his jaw and stop him.

"I don't think it's stupid. I think the other guys on patrol are stupid for saying that and making you think I'm anything but grossly in love with you. I think they don't know what the fuck they're talking about," you say, your thumb brushing against the patches in his beard. "And I think you don't realize just how hot you look wearing glasses," he scoffs, but you don't let him wiggle out of your grasp. "I'm being serious, Joel." You assert, and something behind his eyes shifts. 

"Really?" 

"Are you kidding me? It's, like, annoying how good they make you look," you say, and he smirks. "It's also sexy for you to try to stay alive. So, it's a win-win." He laughs, the sound making the sun shine a little brighter. 

"I mean, who am I to argue with my wife?" He asks, relenting, and you hum.

"Exactly," you say as you kiss him. It was supposed to be quick, a passing kiss to remind him you love him, but when you try to pull away, he's back on you. His big hands snake their way into your hair as he kisses you like he's drowning and trying to pull the air from you. The buzzing bees and chirping birds of the field disappear, and all you can do is hold him. His body is firm against yours, and the soft flannel of his shirt feels perfect beneath your palms. "Was my surprise making out in a meadow? That's pretty romantic, even for you, Joel." You ask as you break away to take a breath that's not his. He groans and rolls his head back to look at the cloudless sky.

"Almost forgot bout the surprise," he says, looking back at you. "You're distractin' me."

"What did I do?" You ask. He grabs your hand and starts leading you through the flowers.

"You were tryna use your woman powers on me."

"Please, explain to me what 'woman powers' you think I possess." 

"If you don't know, I can't tell you." He says like he's answering a riddle, and you laugh. The rest of the walk is spent hand-in-hand with his shoulder bumping yours occasionally as your feet walk over the summer grass. As soon as you hear water lapping over smooth rocks, you look at Joel, who pretends not to hear the same thing. He smiles when you hit the break in the trees, and the crystal water of the river sparkles in the sun. 

You've heard rumors about the water being safe to swim in, but you didn't trust it. Not that it mattered. You and Joel have swum in way dirtier water than the winding blue river in front of you. Still, you were sure that it was a set-up by Raiders. But now, with Joel by your side, in the daylight, it's taking everything in you to not jump in the water. "I thought it might be nice. Just the two of us." Joel says. You nod and rest your head on his shoulder, looping an arm under his and holding his bicep.

"It is nice," you agree. "But we don't own swimsuits," you say, immediately clocking the excited expression on his face. "You're a menace."

"What? I planned a very nice day for us, and I just... forgot we needed swimsuits."

"Oh, you forgot?" You ask, and he nods. 

"I told you, I'm an old man. I forget things easily." 

"Give me a break." You roll your eyes before letting go of his arm and walking over to a big tree. You bend down to take off your boots and socks, and Joel quickly follows suit. His eyes stick to you as you pull your shirt off your head, faded scars catching the sunlight. Once you're left in your bra and underwear, you pause and look at Joel. He's stripped down to just his underwear, too, and you have a full view of his broad frame. 

His muscular chest is littered with scars, some old and silver against his tan skin and others new and still raised and angry. Your favorite is from where he got caught under some fence a million years ago. It vaguely looks like a thunderbolt striking from his collarbone to his shoulder. You can see the goosebumps rising on his thick biceps from where you're standing. His hands are relaxed and open at his sides, visible veins thrumming blood through his body. His belly has rounded just a little since you've settled in Jackson, something he grew insecure about while you reminded him every day that you loved the softness of his body. His strong thighs are a little paler than the rest of him, considering his patrol schedule in the summer, but they're still freckled and scarred like the rest of him. Your breath catches in your throat when he pulls down his underwear and stands fully naked in front of you.

I guess we're actually doing this, you think as you unclasp your bra. You leave your clothes in a pile under the tree before darting into the cold water together. He ducks his entire head under while you tread, letting yourself get used to the temperature and laughing when Joel comes up with a sharp gasp. "Oh, you think that's funny?" He asks before shaking his head in your direction, frigid water droplets landing on your skin. You shriek and splash at him to get him to stop. He splashes back, making huge swells with his arms, and you have to dive under to swim away. 

Once you call a truce on the water fight, you just swim together. You alternate between floating on your back, watching the clouds float by, and diving deep under the water to see what might be down there. After a few minutes, your bodies adjust to the water, and you can actually enjoy the river currents working against you. It reminds you of all the summers you spent in pools, the ocean, rivers, and lakes before the Outbreak. The memory presses on a familiar bruise in your chest, but it doesn't hurt. At least, not as much. Not when you're here with Joel, making new memories in a new world.

You swim over to where Joel is standing, his long curls touching the water as he looks up at the sky. You wrap your arms around his shoulders and your legs around his waist once you're close enough, and he meets your eyes with a smile. His hands grip your thighs and trace patterns into your skin, the warmth of his touch a welcome relief in the cold. You play with the hair at the nape of his neck as you stare at him. "This a good surprise?" He asks, his voice low in his chest, and you nod. 

"I like doing things like this with you," you say. "But I also don't want you to worry about keeping me interested in you," he sighs at your words but doesn't break away from you. "We've been together for years now. We went halfway across the country together. We have Ellie. You're it for me. I don't care what the younger guys on patrol have to say about it."

"You don't think I'm an old buzzkill?"

"Not all the time."

"Alright, smart ass." 

"I mean, I don't know a lot of buzzkills who go skinny-dipping with their wives."

"See? Gimme a little credit here." He says, pinching your thigh, and you laugh. As the sound dies in your throat, his gaze hangs heavily on you. Suddenly, you're all too aware of his sturdy body under you and his hands on you. You get a little closer to him, and his stomach brushes against your core. A quiet, shaky breath leaves you, and Joel hears it. His lips ghost over yours as his hand dips down, a deft finger grazing your clit. 

"Joel," you cry softly, clinging to him tighter when he presses a little harder. He shushes you as his middle finger ventures lower and just barely pushes into you. More. You need more, and he knows it. Asshole, you think to yourself, but your brain shuts off when he inches a digit into you so fucking slowly. You can feel his smirk when he leans down to mouth at the column of your throat. 

"That good?" He rasps in your ear, and you nod as his hand adjusts to thumb at your clit. You jump a little at the molten pleasure pulsing through you. He chuckles lowly and nips at your earlobe. "I've barely touched you, honey, and I can already feel you squeezin' me." You can't even formulate a response once he starts moving. The slow drag of his finger against your walls is enough to drive any sane person insane. You whine when he pushes another into you and claw at his shoulders. 

Your heart is fast against his chest. Everything you breathe, hear, and feel is Joel. You can't think about anything other than the weight of his hand working you over in the broad fucking daylight. You're close enough to the shore that anyone would be able to see you, but you hope you just look like a clingy couple enjoying a mid-day swim. It's a long shot, especially since he's mumbling absolutely filthy things to you. "You always sound so damn pretty." "Gonna let me fuck you like this?" "You're so good for me, baby." Every syllable makes you feel like you're burning from the inside out. His fingers languidly move in and out of you like he has nothing better to do before stopping completely, and you whine in protest.

"You're f," your sentence breaks off when he quickens suddenly. 

"What was that, sweetheart? Where's that smart mouth now?" He asks. Your hips start moving in time with his ministrations, and he watches you like a man starved. You can feel yourself getting closer and closer as his fingers move faster inside you. You think your blood is thundering through your ears as bliss overtakes your senses, but you quickly realize it's hooves. You don't know if Joel hears it, but if he does, he doesn't stop. 

"Joel, I think, fuck," he rubs at your clit with more fervor, making you see stars. "Someone's coming." You breathe, and his teeth scrape under your jaw. It's all too much. You moan and drop your head to his shoulder, losing all motivation to get him to stop.

"You gonna come for me?" He asks, and you nod. "C'mon, I know you can do it. Come for me." He hooks his fingers, nudging that spongy part inside you, and that's all it takes. Your mouth falls open, and fuzziness takes over your senses. You hold Joel closer as he works you through your orgasm with encouraging words and gentle strokes. Finally, you have to reach for his wrist to stop because you're so overstimulated, and he would live between your thighs if he could.

"Y'all alright?" A voice comes out of nowhere, and you jump. You and Joel turn to see one of the patrolmen from Jackson, James, on his horse a few hundred yards away. He's far enough away that he wouldn't be able to see you're both naked, but he can clearly see your clothes and backpacks on the shoreline. 

"Yeah, we're alright. Just... havin' ourselves a date." Joel says, his voice annoyingly even. James looks confused, so you nod in agreement even though Joel still has two fingers knuckle-deep inside you. If he doesn't kill you, embarrassment just might.

"Well, then," James says awkwardly. "Y'all don't stay out too long. Maria'll have your ass if y'all come back hurt or somethin'." Joel shifts his hand as he nods, and you choke on a moan but try to play it off as a cough. Still, James gives you a look. "You good?"

"Yeah, are you alright, honey?" Joel asks in a mocking tone. You grit your teeth and dig your nails into his arm before nodding at James.

"All good. Just had a little tickle. We'll start heading back to town now. Thanks for checking on us." You quickly dismiss the patrolman, who is more than happy to get the hell out of Dodge. Even if he didn't suspect anything was happening, you know he's terrified of you and Joel. His ideal patrol is not having to deal with either of you and now he just got the whole package plus some. As soon as he's out of earshot, you smack Joel's arm. 

"Are you fucking insane? He could've heard us!"

"Us? I'm not the one who was screamin'!"

"Okay, first of all," you start, holding up one finger. "I was not screaming. Second of all, I told you someone was coming, and you kept going!" He doesn't exactly look apologetic, but then again, you're not really mad.

"You know the safe word just as well as I do, sweetheart. I woulda stopped if you said it," he says, and you sigh. He's right. You hate it, but he's right. You try to hide your smile and shake your head as he kisses you. Slowly, he pulls his fingers from you, swallowing your over-sensitive whines down with gentle licks. A stupid thought wiggles its way into your brain, and you laugh against Joel's lips. Once you start, you can't stop, and Joel looks at you like you're a crazy person. "Now, what is so goddamn funny?" He asks, and you compose yourself enough to look at him.

"Think they'll still tease you over being old after you just made your wife come faster than they ever could?" 

[psychelis-new]

pick a pile: "How do you face your fears together?"

take a breath and choose the photo or number that calls you the most to read about how you and your romantic partner or friend can work together and help each other facing your fears. romantic partner includes: current partner, future spouse/partner, destined person. i needed to add friends as well cause I feel for some of you one of them could be of help as well. thanks @ceyrann / @tuliptic for the suggestion!

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.

(photos found on unsplash)

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1 2 3 4

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pile 1

You or your person may really be an overthinker and be self judging a lot or/and fearing others' judgement. I feel it's more you and your person is gonna help you quiet your mind. You may really hear a lot of voices in your mind, especially when you start overtinking whenever something happens to you (even small things, but ofc it depends on your emotional stability: sometimes even a small thing can take up a big room and it's fne as long as you're willing to not let it take over you but realize it's not the reality of things). Your person will help you ground yourself. They will help you by not letting you overthink too much. They will keep you in the present moment, and help you see things from a different point of view. they will share with you their reality too, which won't be as twisted as yours (cause of past traumas possibly). You have probably grown up in a pretty strict environment, and had to deal with tough situations which made you lose contact with your real self worth. Your person will be able to read inside of you and guide you through it all. As said, they will ground you. It could be that also your person may occasionally end up in the same rut, despite they feel a little more healed or they are gonna take it less deeply than you when you'll be together. It seems you will help each other see the way out thanks to the love that connects you. You will hold each other hand and be together, by each other's side, when you need that the most. You will be encouraging each other. It's gonna feel safe to be open and vulnerable with the other. I am hearing "safe place", you'll br that for each other. You may also fear that someone may come in between you two or actually some people may judge you two being together (this is probably mostly your person, but it doesn't have to). I think that you will help them realize that they only have to be happy for themselves, and do what they need/want for them, and stop caring about the rest of the world and what they think or don't. People will think and judge anyway, why caring so hard? For some of you, you may fear communicating with your person or find blockages of any type (or vice versa), especially at first. But you two will be able to get over it by working together and finding common ground. I am feeling lot of love and respect and appreciation from this bond. Lot of comfort and safety too.

song: you are enough | sleeping at last

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pile 2

I feel you may have some fears similar to pile 1 of not being good enough/deserving (so if you wanna check it please do it), but also.. you really feel crashed by your fears, and these mostly regard you not being able to reach something in your life. You may feel like there are too many things coming in between you and your goals and you let all this take over you. You may feel stuck, you fear not being able to make it. Probably atm you have a lot to do that doesn't depend on your will, or are going through some big stuff... just be patient with yourself. You don't have to make it now, you have time. If right now there's something else going on, it means you need to work on that first. Your success will come. The time to succeed will come. Even if you're losing your hopes. Always believe that you will make it, but also let things develop at the right time: it doesn't have to be now, it doesn't have to be that if you're not seeing any result now you won't ever be able to make it or receive it. Take a breath. I think your person will help you by literally reaching you down the hole you dig yourself by overthinking your situation and seeing your dreams as unreachable and too high above you. Your person may literally lend you a hand and take you out of that rabbit hole, not just by supporting you but also planning with you, helping you physically with all the endeavours you have to deal with. You may also collaborate together on something, maybe an idea you had but you cannot put into practice... they will help you financially or just by supporting you emotionally and materially. They're there to help, let them know how they can do that. Speak to them. Your person seem more stable than you, despite at times they may stress over not being good enough or the "right" person to help you, but they are totally willing to work on this and help you, so they may even just try and get over this fear they have. I kinda feel that they may be able to do anything for you, you're their strenght, even if you don't see it or if you believe you're not strong: you are, you really are and it shows by how you deal with all the things you go through the way you do. You help them get over their fears just by being with them, you give them the reason to not be scared anymore (despite they at times fear losing you). And their will to help you is indeed caused by this need to give you back all you do and did, even unknowingly, for them. It seems you changed them for the better. They have someone and something to fight and live for now.

song: rain song | epik high, colde

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pile 3

This pile's fears are all about emotions. Are you scared of seeing and understand why you feel something? Are you scared of giving names to your fears and insecurities? To your emotions in general? Are you scared of loving freely? Of crying? Of feeling?... of living? It feels like you can only reach to a point and then stop cause it feels too much, too scary, too uncomfortable to reach further. I mean, it's ofc okay, you need to do this only as much as you can, but... you should try to get further, maybe? Only to know yourself a little, to understand what is blocking you and scarying you so much. You don't have to do it alone: this type of trips are tricky, they may hide lot of hidden stuff and it's good to have someone to lean on... I think your person will be this for you. They will help you deal with your emotions. They will totally "wake you up" to your emotions, to life. They seem not scared of digging down inside. But for you it's different.. you may have build up walls to protect yourself cause of past scars and traumas (maybe from your childhood too). They will help you go past them, being more you, more vulnerable. There's nothing wrong in that: it only helps you being more open and creating deeper relationships. Your person won't oblige you ofc, they will always remind you that it's your choice, that you need to decide what you want to do with yourself and your life, that the last word is yours. But I think somehow they will convince you trying to take baby steps into that direction. They'll probably be more extroverted than you, more impulsive, more open, while you're more the opposite (ofc it could be vice versa: your person being the one I just described). This person will help you realize all your boldness inside, that it is not too unsafe to let go sometimes, to live fully, to not fear consequences of actions, to... leave your mind at home? Are you really overthinking this much? :) They'll teach you how to celebrate, to feel fully everything you experience, and not close off to the beauty of it, being a positive or a negative feeling. Your person seems a bit reckless. They may not fear too much, they just wanna experience everything. You may help them gain a balance in this, to not be "too much", and just enjoy but also think about the consequences sometimes: despite it's good to just let go, at times it's also good to know when to stop, when to say "okay, now I had enough of this". I have this feeling you (and them too, probably) may be a loner and/or feel lonely, but in two different ways. I think people at times tend to leave you a little "aside" cause you may seem a bit too serious or blocked. While for them.. it's more on them, they decided to go on their path, and it's okay if others don't care too much about following them. Kinda rebel without a cause.

song: like i do | tracee ellis ross, kelvin harrison jr.

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pile 4

I think you (and your person) may need to work on intimacy. Not just the physical one (despite for many of you it's this one mostly) but the emotional one too. Being emotionally intimate means to be open and vulnerable, not just as in pile 3 but mostly as being able to talk about your darkest parts without fearing being judged (cause there's nothing to be judged for; and if someone does that, it's them projecting themselves on you, not you). As for being physically intimate, you may have past traumas or simply had experienced something that made you feel scared of being touched, not just as for 18+ things but also hugged or caressed by others. This is a scar that needs time and patience to heal. That needs you to be patient and kind with yourself. That asks you to start reconnecting with your body and giving you the physical appreciation you deserve and need. Whatever type it is. Take your time to know yourself, your body, your emotions and how they move in your body. It wasn't on you, it wasn't your fault, whatever happened (or didn't: maybe suddenly people stopped touching you or showing you physical affection. You did nothing wrong. Take time to grieve this, and remind yourself it wasn't on you: it was the other not being able to give you what you needed cause of their own emotional problems, be it just an hug when you were down). Dance, do something you enjoy (anything artistic), move, walk, exercise, paint... realize that you deserve all the intimacy you're going to experience with your person. They will be there to help you too, by working with you and your fears, taking things slow, not rushing anything: if you haven't been in a relationship before, don't worry. They will give you time to get accostumed to them and the whole thing.. it'll feel like you have a buddy, but you can also count on them being there for you and show you that you can be loved and showed this love physically too. You're not awful. You're not awful. You're beautiful. Do not close off to this. Your person will probably fear starting things too fast, of being too impulsive (they may be impulsive at times), they also need time to trust or to be intimate, so it won't be a problem cause of this too. I think you'll be able to work together and follow your own timing. You seem very connected, on the same page, and honestly... despite I am seeing you may both like to take things slow, it may even happen that, for a few, you'll feel so connected you'll jump into something immediately (and yeah again your person's fear... to let go too soon when they actually want to take their time with you, and follow you. They may be more into physical stuff than you and more used to hug and other physical displays, or they will probably be very attracted by you and need to take care of you and touch you/hug you faster than how you may feel like it's okay cause of your trauma). Just try to not be too scared and remember to talk about it all with the other. Emotional intimacy starts with communication. Take your time, nobody is rushing you two. Unless you two are willing to rush things a bit... up to you. And ofc: start slow (holding hands, a hug, a kiss on the cheek...), but start. It's the only way to get over this fear of intimacy and... being touched for something good, which you may have not experienced for a long time now.

song: wonder | shawn mendes

[mrs-bluemarine]

OP of last post has suffered enough with my rambling about Shane so I'll leave my very correct opinions on Elliott out of it. However you all are not given such kindness

The fandom is poisoning his well by telling everyone that Elliott is a narcissistic creep and COMPLETELY misreading his character. Yeah, he can come off as having an ego but the bare minimum story exploring can tell that what everyone says is just fucking untrue. Dare I say he's a little socially inept. Or at least when it comes to Pelican Town. He's just as new to these people as you are. He lives on the fucking beach, the only people he normally talks to is like Wally and Leah, a person who lives NEXT TO HIM that he probably sees everyday and someone who shares his creative eye. Poor guy is too caught up in making it as a hot shot author that trying to socialize with anymore people is an afterthought.

He's a fucking WRITER, of course he's gonna use flowery language and big words to make himself sound smart. I feel like Elliott fans can relate to this because I sure fucking do.

"oh oh but the boat scene!!!" You mean the ten heart event? The one you get after officially starting to date? The one you can specifically only get after giving him the bouquet? God forbid your BOYFRIEND kisses you without explicitly asking first. You're given the option afterwards to tell him it makes you uncomfortable, and he IMMEDIATELY BRINGS YOU BACK TO LAND AND GIVES YOU SPACE. YOU GUYS TREAT IT LIKE YOU'RE STUCK THERE, AND HE THROWS YOU OVERBOARD IF YOU TELL HIM YOU DISLIKED THE KISS

Don't get me started on the fourteen heart event. GOD FUCKING FORBID YOUR HUSBAND. YOUR MARRIED SPOUSE. SENDS YOU LOVEY DOVEY NOTES EVERYDAY HE'S GONE ON HIS BOOK READING. The fucking Notebook did this, and everyone hailed that garbage fire as peak of romance. DOES ELLIOTT NOT EVEN GET THE SAME TREATMENT. And every ones like oh... You wake up and he's just STANDING over you! So gross and creepy! What if I hunted you for sport. You know it's his house too right. And your spouse is allowed to wake you up after being gone for a week right. Right. Say yes now or the trap is going off.

[harlowhockeystick]

hi babe could you do sweet nothing; "i find myself running home to your sweet nothings" with brock boeser🥰

meet me at midnight | contains: wedding 🫣

this is probably the sweetest and fluffiest blurb i have written. he's just so. cute.

"when do you think it'll be our turn?" brock asked from behind you, his arms wrapping around your waist as you, along with the rest of the wedding party, watched as your best friend and their now spouse took their first dance on the wooden floor together.

you giggled, "that depends, when are you gonna ask me?" you countered and you felt him smile against your skin as he planted a kiss on the side of your head. your hands rested on his, your thumb running estranged shapes on his skin while you lightly swayed along to the music with a smile on your face.

"hm, that's for me to know and for you to find out babe." both of you giggled, brock placing one more kiss on the side of your head. the dance had ended, the wedding party happily applauding and cheering. the MC announced for all couples to come to the floor and share a dance along with the married couple, and before you could turn to look at brock he was pulling you on the floor.

you were extremely appreciative of the fact that brock was a sap; in fact he was the very definition of one. he never failed to be a romantic. he always planned the dates, brought the flowers, opened the doors, and pulled out the chairs. he always talked sweet nothings to you each and every time he was given the chance. it couldn't get any better than brock, you were sure of it.

you felt butterflies inside each time you thought about brock getting down on one knee. you know he's going to, you've overheard him talking to his mom and siblings about it. you can't wait until he does, you can't wait for the ring to be slid onto your finger, to jump into his arms with excitement after. there's a lot of things you can't wait for, and each one of them involves brock in some way or another.

he spun you around and then pulled you in close, then pressing a kiss on your forehead. he pulled away for a moment, his hand holding yours and his eyes looking into yours, "when i ask you're gonna say yes right?"

you knew he was joking by the way he grinned and lightly blushed. you giggled and playfully pinched his ribs, "i'd be stupid not to."

[sessakag]

I find it pretty difficult to enjoy Sasuke-Naruto as a ship because the way Hinata is treated in that fandom space is disgusting and it’s soured me on the ship completely. But I really really love them in your throuple stuff! It’s nice to see them soft and caring for each other and being kinda snarky but ultimately loving without the thought of “oh this person hates Hinata” in the back of my head. And even when it’s a scene between the two of them, Hinata’s presence is still very much felt which I appreciate a ton. I’m never gonna care about NHS as much as NH but you’ve made the ship enjoyable for me so I’m really grateful!

For sure, there's some really toxic and nasty NaruSasu shippers that go after Hinata just because she ended up with Naruto, and I can't really understand it for her considering she's so damn sweet to everybody, and would be one of the only women to step aside if her husband truly wanted someone else, with no ill will, but, that's a them problem, not mine, lol. I separate the NaruSasu ship from that muck entirely and enjoy it how I want, and what really helps is that there are plenty of SasuNaru shippers I've met that engage with my throuple posts that are absolutely lovely and didn't mind Hinata at all🥰I even got some throuple converts out of it, which I'm always trying to recruit😉

I'm glad you're able to enjoy the throuple for once, trust me, I understand that feeling 100%. There's only a handful of NaruHinaSasu fics and too many of them treat one of the trio like an optional piece (usually Hinata) that can't enjoy the story at all, and that same though will be in the back of my head (this person hates Hinata😩) I'm not one to stew over it though, if I'm not finding what I want, I'm gonna go make it myself🤭

I can't help but mention the other spouse when one is missing. It's probably trauma after reading fics that keep leaving one person out, lmao, but I just have to make sure people know they all love each other, even when it's just two of them. Especially Hinata!💕She be getting done dirty in these dynamics😭

And I got you, I'm in the same boat, I love NaruHinaSasu, but NaruHina is my core, it is life💕my OTP forever💕💕💕

Still, I am very happy that you can enjoy the throuple too. That's all I want is for people that read my throuple fics or stories💕to enjoy seeing these three together because they really have a very cute, very interesting and lovable dynamic when they're all being loved equally. I want to write a lot more for this throuple (been too busy obsessing over NaruHina though lol), and hopefully, more people will give the throuple a chance and that it will help shift the current negative perception of this throuple due to the venom of a few writers😩because you are certainly not the first person to bring up the venom souring them on NaruSasu and consequently, NaruHinaSasu.

I've got about 5 NaruHinaSasu fics coming up that I'll be posting some time this year, and the ones I already have out will be getting some love once I finish a few things with Butterfly and Prey. I'm really excited for these new stories and I hope they're something more people come to enjoy🥰

Thanks so much for dropping by to share your feelings about this ship and your feelings about my snippets🥰makes me super happy!

[mexfavecharacters]

I do not give permission to repost this on any other platform. If you see this anywhere else, that isn't me and it was probably stolen

This is a self insert, NOT an x reader

MDNI 18+ below the cut

The night had settled in. It was 20:00 and C.C. just went to bed, where their spouses were waiting for them. "Hey guys" C.C. said sounding sleepy. They stripped out of their clothes like the rest and got into the shared bed. Toji was on the right side of C.C. and Sukuna was on the left. Next to Toji was his own son, Megumi. The two have a strange relationship since Toji's revival from C.C.

Next to Megumi is Yuji, then Kokichi.

Next to Sukuna was Satoru, then Suguru was next to Satoru, then Kento, then Kenjaku, then Mahito, then Uraume. All of them snuggled up to C.C. like their holding on for dear life. All fun and games until C.C. starts grinding themselves on Toji. "Hmmm, what's this? Horny as ever, I see." Toji said smugly. He let's C.C. burry their face into his neck, absorbing his scent.

Sukuna moves closer to C.C. as he grinds himself against C.C.'s ass, growling a little. "Ha, if you wanted to fuck, you should've told us." Sukuna growled.

C.C. hovered over Toji and Sukuna and slowly lowered themselves onto their cocks, followed by Satoru putting his cock in C.C.'s ass, then Suguru doing so to Satoru. Kento got up and goes over to Satoru, making him suck his cock, followed by Mahito inserting himself into Kento. Megumi makes Toji suck him off, while getting fucked by Kokichi, Yuji has Megumi suck him off, and Uraume makes out with Sukuna while being fucked by Kenjaku. Everyone starts moving, all moaning and whimpering, filling the room. "So good" Sukuna moans through the kiss. Toji moans while sucking his son's cock. "Awwwww we having fun now?" Mahito cooes mockingly towards Kento, who is a complete moaning mess. Uraume getting fucked by Kenjaku was definitely not something one would expect but here they are getting fucked by him. "So good, so damn good." Kenjaku moans, pounding Uraume. "Oh fuck, oh shit, damnit it's so good." Satoru moans, repeating it over and over. "Fuck Satoru. Fuck you're so good. Fuck, fuck FUCK!" Suguru moans and yells out.

Yuji moans and moans, unable to even say anything, Megumi moans as he forces Toji to suck more than he can; Kenjaku grunts as he continues pounding into Uraume, C.C. huffs and puffs, not moaning but whimpers come out every now and then, Kokichi, like Kenjaku, grunts, and like C.C., also just huffs and puffs.

Uraume pulls away from Sukuna's lips, gasping for air as they continue to get fucked by Kenjaku. Sukuna's stomach mouth licks C.C.'s bellybutton, earning a short startled look before giving him a smug look. "Such good partners to me, I love you guys." C.C. said, reaching their climax. "I'm close, guys." They followed up. Finally, they came.

"Fuck, fuck, fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!!!!" Suguru shouts, spilling his seed into Satoru. "Fuck C.C., I'm fucking cumming!" Follows Satoru. "I'm gonna cum and you'll take it!" Sukuna yells out. Toji moans and whimpers loud enough for C.C. to know that he's cumming. Megumi moans as he forces Toji to swallow his cum "Ah shit, oh fuck I'm cumming." Moans Kokichi, as he finishes inside Megumi. "Take it all like a good boy." Mahito moans and calmly says as he pumps his load into Kento. "Shit, take it all, Satoru, take it aaaallllllll." Kento moans deeply as Satoru gladly swallows Kento's cum. Yuji moans and goes faster, and finishes in Megumi's mouth.

"Ah yes, Uraume, just like that. Oh, fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck." Kenjaku grunts and moans as he fills Uraume up. As everyone cums and fills one another up, the room finally goes back to normal, with the sound of the ceiling fan, the sound of the AC, and the sound of the air purifier. Kenjaku, Kento, Mahito, Yuji, Megumi, Uraume, and Kokichi all got back into bed while the rest just laid down on one another, catching their breath and taking in what had happen.

"I love you all so fucking much. You know that?" C.C. muttered as they fell asleep. Numerous "I love yous" and other variants being said back as everyone falls asleep.

[blessyourhondahurley]

Suptober day 5 - Part 2: Afternoon Into Evening

The long-awaited middle part to Restless, which began here .

Dean and Cas share their special day with their family and friends.

Suptober prompt: Portrait

(Read on AO3)

Half an hour later, they're pulling in to the venue, a picturesque little barn a few miles outside of town, situated on three acres of wildflower meadows and grazing sheep. Dean parks the Impala in the VIP Reserved spot. As he gets out, he gives her a pat on the roof and mutters, “Sam's probably gonna tart you up today, darlin'. But I made him promise not to do anything that'll leave a mark.”

On cue, his baby brother comes galumphing up out of nowhere.

“You're late,” he announces, Bitch Face #12 on full display.

“Keep your knickers buttoned, Samantha,” Dean replies breezily. “We're here now. That's all that matters.”

“Okay, sure, whatever. Well, the rest of us have been working for a couple hours already, but there's still a lot left to do. Cas, you can head inside and talk to Jody. She's in charge of decorations and setup. Dean, you're with me. We've gotta go pick up the booze order.”

The bridegrooms-to-be exchange a quick, dry peck of a kiss, then head off to their respective tasks.

~~~~~

By noon the place is gorgeously tricked out. Flowers and fairy lights adorn every available surface. Rows of folding chairs await guests' butts. Countless bottles of beer and wine are chilling on ice, and the caterers are starting to load in for the massive barbecue dinner.

The setup crew, all their nearest and dearest, sit down together at a group of picnic tables and share a rollicking pizza lunch. Precisely at 1:00, everyone except Dean and Cas heads back to the Bunker for showers and fresh clothes.

“Time to get prettied up ourselves, Sunshine,” Dean drawls as they stuff the last of the empty pizza boxes in the trash can nearby. The grab their garment bags from Baby's trunk and climb upstairs to the private changing area in the barn's loft.

~~~~~

Only the threat of interruption by an overworked Samsquatch keeps Dean from getting a little quickie action goin' with his handsome almost-husband. As fast as Cas can put on the pieces of his tailored suit, Dean itches with the urge to peel them back off.

He reminds himself to save it for the honeymoon, and concentrates on the job at hand. By the time the photographer calls up the stairs for them at 2:00 they're fully suited and coiffed, and ready to get their Blue Steels on. They take some formal portraits first, corny prom-type poses that Dean knows he's gonna treasure in the years to come. The wedding party returns around 3:00 and then there are many many many more photos, both posed and candid. At one point a couple of the more personable sheep get involved, and Cas almost loses his boutonniere to a particularly peckish ewe.

Guests start to arrive a little after 4:00, hunter friends and townies mingling freely, conversation lubricated with generous glasses of chilled sangria and various trays of nibblies. Dean and Cas circulate, sometimes separately, sometimes together. They greet their loved ones, chat and laugh and enjoy the party atmosphere, but they never really take their eyes off of each other.

As the sun starts to sink, burnishing the light to a buttery gold, Eileen rings a bell to call everyone into the barn for the main event. The ceremony is 20% pagan handfasting, 20% Enochian ritual, 20% traditional rite, 20% Led Zeppelin lyrics, and 20% lifted wholesale from Dr. Piccolo's third wedding (the one that had to be annulled after it turned out the groom was actually the disgraced fugitive ex-hospital administrator in disguise.) Dapper in a suit that matches his dads, Jack officiates. Helpless with love, undone with joy, Dean tears up the moment his son begins to speak, and he continues to weep steadily all through the vows and right up to the soggy kiss he shares with his equally-emotional newly-consecrated spouse.

Concludes here

[birlwrites]

my mind took "you're a mckinnon now" and ran and i've spent the last 3 days trying to make my thoughts into somewjat coherent, okay, i'm going to try to explain it now:

the mckinnons sort of… absorb families/bloodlines. that's why it's not very common for other sacred 28 purebloods to marry a mckinnon, and if they do, it's always a woman bc she's expected to give up her family name when she marries anyways

what i mean by absorb is that many of their spouses—both husband's & wives—are either only children (so the bloodline & family name continues thru them) (ends w them) or (esp for the men) don't mind giving up or don't want to keep their fam name

it isn't meant malicious now, when the mckinnons aren't sooo idk. extreme? but a few centuries ago? maybe their spouses weren't so cool with their kids being mckinnons…with being the last of their family (bc we know names & bloodlines are really important in wizarding britain)

and their family magic is spiritual, right? idrk how you mean by that, maybe you'll expand further as marlene gets a bit more involved in ttdl? but rn i've sort of related it like spirit→magic→blood. so if they're like, collecting? magical bloodlines? maybe that'd influence some magic & rituals. + old-age ideas of like absorbing magical bloodlines into your own

did that all make sense? i'm sending this to you because it won't leave me alone and ive got no one else to tell it to, sorry

ajglshkdjfsd ive been trying to think of like, a Deep and Intelligent response and i s2g the only image in my brain is the mckinnons' house opening its front door and going 'om nom nom' whenever one of the mckinnons brings their s/o home to meet the family

one very important thing about the mckinnon family specialty is that it is large-scale. on the most fundamental level, the more people they have, even if not all of their people were born with an affinity for their specialty, even if not all of their people have ties to any other important people, the more powerful they are as a family. the mckinnon specialty doesn't really require a powerful innate affinity in order to be used, although that helps - what it does require is LOTS OF PEOPLE

dark affinities will... decline if they're not used, if that makes sense? it's a combination of the dilution of successive generations having a smaller and smaller share of that affinity, and the lack of usage meaning that the body's capability for that magic decreases over time. this is why the specialties are still so distinct between different families, even after generations of intermarrying - you have to practice your specialty to keep your affinity for it strong and ensure that you'll pass it on to your kids. that's only passingly related to what you were talking about but since you mentioned collecting bloodlines i thought i'd mention it

the mckinnons are collectively like one enormous sponge for magical knowledge as well afjshglksjdf - oh you want to marry a mckinnon but you also want to keep the details of your inherited specialty secret from them because of loyalty to your original house? Too Bad. They're Gonna Find Out One Way Or Another And You Probably Won't Even Regret Telling Them

[weebsinstash]

BRO AND GROWING UP AS BAKUGOU’S FIANCÉE??? KNOWING HOW MUCH OF A BRAT HE WAS AS A KID??? TERROR. HE JUST BULLIES YOU YOUR ENTIRE CHILDHOOD AND THINKS THAT BECAUSE YOU’RE ENGAGED HE’S ENTITLED TO IT. POSSESSIVE AF EVEN WHEN HE STARTS BEING COLD.

And omg the fiancée probably grows up being a meek little thing because of his bullying and aggressive behavior, as well as very cruel/insulting remarks like he did with Deku, also being told that she just has to endure how Bakugo treats her and be the perfect calm collected lady to balance him out because that’s her duty as his wife and empress??? Good food. Then the fiancée gets tired of his bullshit and just tries to break the engagement/divorce and he’s like “wait what no you’re not supposed to do that”. Idk just having to deal with child Bakugou would’ve been a hard NO from me 😭

I've been having multiple ideas for this specific scenario and pairing but it seems to be popular with you guys too 😳

But no I absolutely agree, I think being raised with him and knowing what a little prick he's always been would be terrible, and I personally wouldn't have the patience for a bratty little kid, even AS a kid. I can see it so stereotypically: Reader and Bakugou both children, brought to the same location but allowed to wander before the official meeting. Reader is just minding their own business, being the Saint/ess or mage or whatnot that enables a low-born person like them to be treated with prestige, just walking in the garden and being cute and curious about all the plants, here's the Crown Prince, demanding you tell him your identity and reason for being in his palace. You're trying to be polite but he just mocks you for no reason? Says your role is stupid and weak since it doesn't involve fighting? (Perhaps he's feeling a little inferior to you since you have a superior and useful skill he can't obtain, hm?) And maybe you lose your patience and get chest to chest with the little punk and even start to have a physical fight before some adults, like say your guardians, have to pry you apart

And then the adults pull you both aside and scold you and get you all dolled up to see each other again and it's like, haha you're gonna have a political marriage :) sure, the future Emperor just received a black eye from his future spouse but, no this is fine, let's not correct the little monster in any way, you two are definitely going to learn to get along over the years :) obviously you just kind of consider him a huge bully and dread finally marrying him and having a wedding even if it helps your home country to form an alliance at the cost of your freedom 😩 and also imagine, having healing powers and him asking/demanding you heal his soldiers snd himself for certain battles and wars but he won't let you like, go into the villages and treat the commoners suffering from, demon flu or something that you could purify, like he's just using you as a health pack for his army but not letting you perform your duty of helping the people and you resent him and think he's selfish (which he is, but, he also wants to keep you close and far away from any unpredictable subjects)

Just sorry, if you think of how teenage Bakugou treated Midoriya, and even just vaguely transfer that over, I would hate him, think he's rude, worry for the future of his country, AND imagine being stuck in a political marriage and you know you have to share him with not only other women but also just, one specific dude for some reason? Which you suppose isn't, impossible but, not exactly common to you; surprising, but you aren't rejecting it.

I feel like the constant pressure to be absolutely perfect and regal and holy yet the one who is 'the most important' never acknowledging those traits and efforts would be emotionally and psychologically draining. So many other people would just come off as fake or trying to suck up to you, and Izuku... his praise doesn't count; you don't know what's wrong with this boy but sometimes he's stuck on you like glue and wants to spend entire days together, consecutively. And he technically isn't doing anything too sinister, but it's how he does it, the execution. Wanting to spend time with you is one thing, wanting to spend every waking moment is another

Bakugou would probably be one of those where, you tell him you hate him and never loved him to his face and he'll tell you that it isn't your job to love each other, stop being stupid, but the second he has you escorted off he's isolating himself for deep meditation because WHY DOESN'T MY FAVORITE WIFE LIKE ME 🥺 and over the course of the next week he's sending gift after gift to your palace, never coming himself though, and he thinks you've forgiven him when you accept everything and then he finds out you were just doing it on courtesy and everything he gave you was just put into a storage room to not be seen or heard

[welp-back-on-my-bs]

IkePri tattos part 2! It's gonna be the main bitches now since we went over the others in part 1

Chevy:

He saw it when he first broke into your room to get away from his annoying brothers and get a moment of peace. He shrugged it off and went to do what he was there for, to read in peace, and be with you i guess.

When the two of you got closer, he softly asked about your tattoo. He obviously looked into what every peice of it meant, chucking at the way you saw yourself, but adorning it, like he adores you.

Once you were done explaining, he just nodded and kissed it. "It just makes you all the more of a fool, putting yourself trough pain to enhance and express your beauty"

Riolo:

He knew about your tattoo before you both made it into the palace. I mean, he sees you as his spouse already-

"Hm? I didn't realize that working in that bookshop makes you really important-" he examined and memorized your tattoo

"Huh? What do you mean?" You looked confused

Rio shrugged a bit "it's quite amazing tough! Perfect match for my future wife!" He grinned brightly at you, like allways

He also had little pawprint tattos on his ankle, he dosent really rember much about them tough

Jin:

He would be one of the first people to notice it. He won't bring it up tough. Why should he?

Even when the two of you get closer, he won't ask about it. He'll listen to whatever you need him to hear tough. He trusts you, so he'll learn eventually.

I think he would get a little intimidated by the tattoo tough depending on what it is of

Clavis:

So, when this man figured out that you have a tattoo, he doodles one onto himself/gets someone else to. Just to see how you would react.

He porpiously gets into a situation where you get to nicely see it (he may or may not be wearing a shirt. It's funny to see you all flusterd when you see him shirtless).

Nokoto:

I think alot of things he finds hot, tattoos are definately one of them.

He will do whatever you want.

If your tattoo comes with a story, he'll listen while traceing it, leaveing little kisses on it.

Don't think you two will be leavei g bed anytime soon tho-

Luke:

I think he sees how strong you are for getting a tattoo and loves you all the more because of it. He would share his story if you tell him yours.

"It shows you lived, like any scrape, scar, and mark on your skin. You have lived, loved, and created some sort of life. It's amazing! You're amazing..."

Yeves:

He has a memorial tattoo of his mother and his caretaker, just to keep them close forever. Like the earing he wears.

When he sees your tattoo, he dosent pry into it. He dosent wish to do anything to accidentally harm you if he does. He will just adore it quietly.

Licht:

Probably noticed it last. He has been avoiding you.

But when the time has come when he does see it, I think he is about the least rational. He gets worried that you got hurt to get this, or that someone branded you, or something.

He doesn't get why his anxieties are overwhelmed by this, but it is. So he sternly asks, listening to your awnser.

He would probably just, hold you after he learned. He wants you to just be safe... that's all...

Sariel:

He was a little surprised when he caught sight of your tattoo for the first time. But he was quick to shake it off, for now. He was there to help you dress properly afterall.

Then you started to nerviously ramble about your tattoo, and he just found that adorable. So he entertained you and listened to what you had to say about it.

"I don't think there has been another Belle with a tattoo, but I can see if there was one if you wish, so you can feel a little more comfortable in this role." He offerd a smile

"That would be nice.." you nodded a bit, glad he wasn't being judgemental of it.

To tease you, he kissed where your tattoo was before he left you to your devices so you can do your makeup and hair.

[andtheflameswenthigher]

I've been seeing so much discourse about bi women bringing their boyfriends to pride and I'm just so tired of having this conversation

So I've identified as bi since I first figured out my sexuality when I was 13, although lately I've been using the term queer more when talking about my sexuality, I still mostly identify as a bi woman

I've really only been to pride twice because they don't have pride in the small town I grew up in, but from my experience its such an open and positive space for queer people to come together and just celebrate being ourselves, and the fact that people want to police that just makes me incredibly sad

It's such a positive experience for a lot of people to be in a space like that and to know that they belong, and wanting to bring someone with you who you are comfortable with and want to share that experience with is so important

Like are you going to tell me I can't bring my mom and dad to pride because they're cis and straight? You're really going to tell a queer kid who isn't old enough to go to pride by themselves that they can't bring their parents with them? Or their best friend who happens to be cis and straight? You're gonna tell a queer parent that they can't bring their children to pride because they're cis and straight? Like do you realize how absolutely ridiculous that sounds?

In my opinion, if you want to come to pride to show your support you should be allowed to! I think that as long as you are being respectful, anyone should be allowed at pride. It gives me so much joy to see families at pride, whether its a family there supporting their queer child/sibling or a queer parent with their children/spouse.

Not to mention that you cannot tell who is queer and who isn't. You literally can't. Like if you saw me walking down the street you'd probably have no idea that I'm queer because I'm a mostly feminine presenting cis-woman. Does that make me any less queer? Absolutely not. It's such a stupid argument because you cannot possibly know that a person isn't queer or trans or gender non-conforming.

People who think like this really need to take a step back and try and put into perspective why they think bi women shouldn't bring their boyfriends to pride. Is it because you don't think cis/straight people belong at pride or is it because you're actually bi-phobic?

Just a thought.