#you're perf ok

[porcelana-r0ta]

let the mourners come

Title: let the mourners come

Ao3 Link: Only available to Ao3 users

Word Count: 3045

Summary:

It started, as most things do with Danny Fenton, as a joke.

It ended, as most things do with Jazz Fenton, with things better than they were before.

xxXxx

When Danny finally gets a Twitter, it’s during Elon Musk’s shit show takeover. He’s able to secure a good Twitter handle thanks to people leaving en masse and fleeing to Tumblr. He knows about things that happen outside of Amity Park (he is terminally online rather than chronically, after all), but he still doesn’t think anything of using @TheJoker as his handle, even knowing about Gotham City’s clown troubles. It’s just going to be a shitpost account, anyway, one that dances in the chaos of Elon’s electronic graveyard. Nothing will come about him using @TheJoker when he’s merely posting things like, “Just grew a new row of teeth!!! very pointy but can’t go to the dentist anymore bc they might turn me in to the giw.”

So Danny honestly never foresaw The Actual Real Joker breaking out of Arkham Asylum all the way in Gotham City, New Jersey, and deciding to get a Twitter account to terrorize people online as well as offline. And he definitely never foresaw The Joker @’ing him on Twitter, demanding that Danny change his Twitter handle. But, well. Here he was. 

[Image Description: A screenshot of a Twitter reply chain, starting with the real Joker @'ing Danny's Twitter account, which uses TheJoker as his Twitter handle. The Joker, who has a verified account, demands that Danny "change your handle", and Danny replies with a simple "no" followed by red heart emoji. The Joker Tweets, "Kid you don't know who you're fucking with," to which Danny replies, "Ye I do ur some dude w/ poor fashion sense and lame jokes. Maybe try badjokesbyjeff bc originality is ugly on u" followed by a shrugging emoticon. The Joker responds, "Check your DMs." Danny then responds, "Perf [happy emoji surrounded by hearts] I've sent you a time and place. Can't wait to beat the shit out of another disgrace of a clown." Someone with the username "Gregg rulz ok" responds to Danny's last Tweet, "Bro is absolutely RATIOING the joker but the clown keeps responding [three skull emojis] embarrassing frfr too bad he's gonna die for realsies".

End ID]

Danny is quick to respond and then makes even quicker work of roasting The Joker. This soon results in The Joker DMing him his IP Address and a creative threat. Still, Danny isn’t about to cow to a clown with no respect for the art of clowning. He replies to the DM: 

Cool, meet me at the Nasty Burger parking lot in Amity Park IL on tuesday at 2am

The response from The Joker is quick:

Fourteen year olds are too confident these days

Danny rolls his eyes and ignores the influx of notifications from Twitter, and instead makes another Tweet.

Imagine beefing with someone over a Twitter handle lol acc so embarrassing for him

He blackens his screen and stretches in bed, letting his spine pop more than what is humanly possible. He runs his tongue over that second row of teeth, his lips curling into a grin. 

xxXxx

Gothamite Twitter is blowing up over The Joker’s social media beef with a faceless shitposting account. Jason, upon finding out about it, has a series of reactions: first, he looks up the shitposter and follows them. Then, he finds the actual chain between the poster and The Joker, and his vision goes vibrant green when he sees that The Joker’s profile picture is of the second Robin, beaten and swollen in an abandoned building in Ethiopia. 

When his vision clears and he can breathe without wanting to kill, he likes the shitposter’s replies, and he calls the Replacement to see if the other Bats know already.

“We know,” Tim says in lieu of a hello when the ringing cuts out. “We’re working on it.”

“What, you think anything’s gonna come of it?” But even as Jason asks, he already knows the answer. The Joker is unhinged and once he’s threatened something, he’ll follow up unless he comes up with a “funnier” option. 

Tim’s breath hitches, and he says, “I’ve hacked their DMs. Joker knows the kid’s IP address and sent it to him. He knows everything from that address alone.”

He pauses in the middle of suiting up, “Kid?”

He hears Tim swallow, “Yes, kid. He’s fifteen. And he gave The Joker a specific time and place to meet up to fight. In his own hometown.”

“Are— are you fucking kidding me?” 

“No. B is already calling Nightwing. We’re taking the Batwing to Illinois.”

“Jesus fuck. I’ll be there in twenty.”

“Hood, I—”

“Shut up, I’m already in my gear.” He hangs up without waiting for a response. 

He refreshes the Twitter feed and barks a laugh at the newest Tweet:

Jason Todd votes, and the Red Hood leaves his safe house. 

xxXxx

A commercial flight to Illinois takes around two and a half hours. In the Batwing, they get there in an hour, and don’t even have to worry about the drive from Chicago to a small speck of a town like Amity Park. They spend the quick flight learning everything they can about Daniel James Fenton, the owner of the Twitter account, and they can all sense the growing tension from (and between) Bruce and Jason.

But, well. Jason doesn’t care. Let them be uncomfortable. It doesn’t compare to being ripped back into life and finding out his dad didn’t even get justice for his death. 

When they reach town, it doesn’t take long to find the Fentons’ home. This is in part because Amity Park is a very navigable town, and because of the giant neon sign proclaiming FentonWorks on the side of the building. 

“Is that a blimp?” Dick asks. “Why don’t we have a blimp?” 

“Where would we keep it?” the Demon Brat counters practically. “Goliath takes up all of the Cave’s extra space.” 

Jason rolls his eyes and knows veins would be popping out of Bruce’s forehead if it weren’t for the cowl. 

“Let’s go,” Bruce says instead, and they all make their way to the house. 

Nightwing, predictably, goes for the front door approach. Jason rolls his eyes as he takes one of the second-story windows and finds his way downstairs.

He gets down at the same time that a redheaded girl answers the door and nearly slams it in Dick’s face. Jason has to suppress snickers at the sight. 

“Wait, wait, wait, are you Jazz Fenton? We need to talk to your brother!” 

“...We?” she asks, then tenses and turns around to see the rest of the Bats in the hall behind her. Dick takes the opportunity to step in completely, closing the door behind him. “Wha— what’s going on?”

“Where are your parents, Jazz?” Bruce makes every question sound like a demand. Jason rolls his eyes from behind his mask—way to put the teenager at ease, B.

“Why do you need to know?” Her voice has a defensive edge to it. “What do you want with Danny?” 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Nightwing comforts. “He didn’t do anything too bad, just said some dumb things online. It’s not his fault.” 

This relaxes her, and her shoulders begin un-hunching. “Oh, s-so what’d he do?”

“He foolishly challenged The Joker to a battle in a ‘Nasty Burger’ parking lot tonight.” 

“You could’ve had some more tact, Robin,” Nightwing scolds. But the Demon Spawn just crosses his arms. 

“He did what?” Jazz shrieks. “Like, The Joker from Gotham? That Joker?”

“Are there others?” Red Hood comments dryly. 

Her face goes through several different emotions—disbelief, rage, fear, and then rage again, “DANIEL JAMES FENTON! GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!” 

There’s a thumping noise, and then frantic footsteps down the stairs. 

“Wha? Who died?” asks the figure of a tiny fifteen-year-old, smaller than even Jason had been when he was alone with The Joker. He’s tiny and lanky. Zero muscle definition. Eye bags to rival the Replacement’s. Something ripples in the Pit, deep and distinct, but he can’t name what causes it.

Oh, this kid is so dead. 

“Danny,” says Jazz calmly while Danny blinks uncomprehendingly at the heroes in their hallway. She is solemn when she says, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to kill you now.” 

“What did I do?” 

She stares at him, “Why have you scheduled a fight with The Joker?” 

“Oh, that.” He rubs the back of his neck, “Is he taking that seriously?”

“Of course he is, Danny! It’s The Joker! That’s what he does! He can’t differentiate between a joke and reality! He would tear off his own face for the bit!” 

“Oof,” is all Danny can muster. He digs his phone out and starts typing before Jazz yanks it out his hand. 

“You’re fucking TWEETING about this?” Jazz asks incredulously, and Hood’s hackles rise. She even reads the Tweet aloud, “‘Just found out @TheJ0ker is being fr about fighting me. Sad but i can take a clown.’”

“I was gonna add ‘i’ve done it b4,’ but like the letter and the number four. But yeah.” 

“You’re grounded forever.” Danny opens his mouth to protest, but the look Jazz cuts at him is so scathing that he shuts his mouth. Hood is reluctantly impressed—she had what could be cultivated into a fantastic Batglare. She pockets the phone, “You’re never getting this phone back. Taunting The Joker to Amity? Have you any brain cells? What if he brings Joker gas with him, huh? Or any of his goons? What if he starts hurting other people? Have you thought any of this through?” 

Danny’s face goes from tired to chastised, his lips drawing into a frown, especially at the mention of other people. 

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I didn’t think that he’d take it so seriously.”

“He sent you your IP Address.”

“I thought that was just a random string of numbers?”

“Oh my god,” Jazz despairs. “Oh my god. Grounded forever. See, I know you're lying to me. I know you're lying because Tucker, the nerdiest tech nerd to have ever been born, is your best friend.”

He rubs the back of his neck, “I tune him out?”

“You’re still lying to me?” Jazz scoffs and turns to Batman, “Do whatever you want with him. I’m not going to defend him from this.” 

“Hey!” complained her brother, but Batman just continued on, “Where are your parents?”

“They’re in Sweden for a science convention,” Jazz answers. “They left this morning.” 

Damn, Jason curses to himself. 

“Jazz, seriously. You’re not gonna let Batman kill me, right?” 

“Do you want to be cremated or buried, Danny?” Jazz asks blasély, and Danny gulps, refusing to meet anyone’s eyes. 

“It’s my Twitter handle,” he mutters petulantly, and Jason can’t believe the gall of this kid. Or maybe stupidity. Audacity’s a good one, too. “If he wanted it, he should’ve gotten it first. And he gives clowns a bad name.” 

“Not the clown thing again.” Jazz digs her palms into her eyes, sighs, then turns to the heroes. “He has a whole clown thing ever since Circus Gothica came to town and robbed a bunch of jewelry stores.” 

Danny gestures wildly with his hands, as if demonizing clowns was the real problem and not the egomaniacal mass murderer who wanted to murder him for his Twitter handle, “Clowning is an art form, Jazz, and people like Freakshow and The Joker make a mockery of the very serious societal statements that clowns make!” 

All of the Bats very carefully Did Not look at Nightwing, who has made very similar rants on quiet patrols.

“You are never leaving this house again,” she says serenely. “And I’m unplugging the wifi router.”

“You would punish even yourself?”

“Oh, little brother. I would watch the world burn if it meant knocking sense into your thick skull.” 

“Okay, Christ,” Red Hood finally interrupted the siblings’ melodrama. An unyielding redheaded girl and a mouthy black-haired, blue-eyed boy? They’d fit in a little too well back at the Manor, so Jason needs to cut this shit out before Bruce’s bat-doption instincts start tingling. “Stop. Just… Christ. Stop. Is this how you always interact with each other?”

“Sometimes there’s explosions,” Danny pipes up, a cheeky grin on his face. 

Jazz doesn’t dispute it. 

Fucking hell. God damn it. I can’t. I just can’t. 

Batman doesn’t give anything away, “Robin and Red Robin will be staying here with you until Nightwing, Hood, and I apprehend The Joker. First, we’re going to check the perimeter.” 

“Oooh, I get to give the lab tour!” 

Lab?

“No lab. You’re grounded. You’ll only be in there for cleaning duty now.”

“Wh– hey! No fair!” 

“What’s this lab you two are talking about?” Red Robin asks before Jazz can rip into her brother again. 

She sighs, “Our parents’ lab. I’ll show you, but someone needs to stay with Danny.” 

“You act like I’m gonna run off and start World War III….”

“I wonder why,” she says sarcastically.

Batman nods to Robin, who nods back, and the rest of them follow Jazz out of the living room to a metal reinforced door. She types in a code—Jason catches the numbers 03-14-99. There’s an assenting beep, and she opens the door, flicking on the lights and leading them down into what is apparently a basement lab. 

A stone settles in Red Hood’s stomach, cold and heavy. 

The basement is large, likely the floor size of the entire building. There are several work tables, filled with miscellaneous blueprints and spare parts and weapons and tools. Against the farthest wall is another armored door, but what draws Hood’s—and the entire Batclan’s—attention is the south wall, where a circular hole in the wall was glowing a toxic Pit green. 

The stone shattered in his stomach, splintering into his body. Is it harder or easier to breathe? Jason can’t tell. 

“Wow,” says Nightwing. His voice is cheerful, but Jason can feel the stress beneath it. “Do I even want to know?” 

Wasn’t this supposed to just be typical Joker bullshit?

“Our parents are ectobiologists,” Jazz explains nonchalantly, walking further into the lab. “As in, ghost biologists.” She pauses at one of the work tables, picking up a green and white thermos. Pretty boring, considering the rest of their surroundings. 

“Ghosts.” Red Robin’s voice is carefully neutral. 

“Ghosts,” Jazz reaffirms. “I know. I thought they were crazy at first, too. But I can prove it, if you like.” Then, without waiting for a yes or no, she untwists the thermos, and there’s a bright flash of white, and a whole entire body sprouting out of it. 

“WHOO! I’M FREE!” cries the…being, pale and floating and lanky and entirely too big to have fit into a fucking thermos, of all the fucking things. “....And not in the Realms? Wait.” He stops stretching, descending to rest closer to the ground, but still hovering a few inches from the floor. He’s got green eyes and lifeless (ha) blond hair. He’s wearing a trenchcoat and a green skull necklace. Overall, he looks like the type of thug he’d arrest in the Bowery. 

“Hello, Johnny.” The man’s—ghost’s?—eyes flicker around each person in the room, his gaze becoming more and more confused and panicked as he takes in each Bat, before settling on Jazz Fenton. 

“Why are the fucking Bats here?” 

“The Joker’s coming to Amity,” she says. The ghost’s eyes widen. Jazz tilts her head, “How many ghosts would you say passed away in Gotham, Johnny?” 

As Jason and the Bats tense, this Johnny guy lets out a wicked laugh, “Oh, Doll, you have the best surprises. Why did we break up?” 

“You did try to have my body possessed. That ruins any good relationship.” 

“Man, but Kitty’ll love this. Thanks for letting me out of Soup Time, Doll.” He floats higher, “Any advice?” 

She throws him the phone she’d confiscated from Danny and he catches it easily, “Everything’s on here. Have fun.”

“What exactly are you planning?” Batman scowls. 

Johnny laughs, “Aww, don’t worry, Bats. Peace and love on Planet Earth, or whatever. We’ll make it quick.” Then, as the Bats leap into action as one, Johnny turns invisible, the Batarangs passing harmlessly through where he’d once been floating. 

“Where did he go?” Batman turns his scowl, angrier than ever, to Jazmin Fenton, who stares back unflinchingly. “He’s going to solve the problem.”

“You mean he’s going to kill The Joker.”

She shakes her head, “Oh, no. That’d just be asking for him to come back as a ghost. Could you imagine a Joker with powers like invisibility, intangibility, flight, and more? Johnny can be impulsive, but he’s smart. None of them will kill The Joker.” 

“Then what are they going to do?” Red Robin asks. 

“My parents are ectobiologists,” Jazz repeats from earlier. “But I am more of an anthro-ectopologist. I am concerned with the study of ectoplasmic beings’ societies and cultures. And while it is very ancient, there is protocol in the Infinite Realms—that is, where you go when you die, should you remain after death—to prosecute living criminals who have killed a certain number of Realms citizens. So you don’t have to worry about your moral code, Batman. The Joker will be tried by a much fairer court than Gotham can ever hope to have. No offense.” 

Jason stares at Jazz Fenton, who he’d pegged as the sane sibling. He’s not so sure now, but he can’t say he hates it.

“And how do we know it’s a fair trial?” Nightwing asks. 

She waves her hand, “Oh, as Gotham’s Knights, you’re key witnesses. I’m sure you’ll be summoned to testify. You will see then. And don’t worry about your secret identities—the dead don’t care much for that sort of thing.” 

“So if this is a ‘fair’ trial or whatever, The Joker’s going to be locked up forever?” Jason asks. “I mean, that’s the only option for shit like him.” 

Batman sends him a look, but he ignores it. 

“Well, there are several different punishments that could be deemed appropriate, but he’ll never be able to set foot in the mortal world again, yes.” 

Jason Todd grins, “Oh, I’m glad your brother’s stupid, kid.” 

She sighs, long-suffering, “Well, that makes one of us. Still, there’s more important things we should discuss now that you’re here.”

“More important than The Joker trying to kill your brother over a Twitter handle?” Red Robin asks doubtfully. 

Jazz smiles, sharp and dangerous, and asks, ”Have you ever heard of the Anti-Ecto Acts?” 

xxXxx

Several months later when Danny is finally un-grounded, he Tweets his last three Tweets before Twitter can become the foolishly named X: 

Imagine bullying the Joker so hard that it not only lands the Joker in ghost prison BUT it also leads to major law reform in the US lmao someone make the domino effect meme about this pls

Y’allre replying to me with thanks like i did anything other than be an internet troll. My sister literally manipulated local, federal, and interdimensional law so you should be thanking her. 

i just a babie 🥺🥺🥺

xxXxx

Thanks for reading! This is the whole fic, so pls do not ask for tags! Thank you :)

[bupia]

Treasure hunt: Papa Emeritus IV x AFAB!Reader

Summary: It's Christmas, and Copia won't be returning home this evening. However, he thoughtfully left you a note. What surprises might it hold?

Words: 10.152

Warnings: The Italian nicknames used by Copia has no gender, however the reader is AFAB | Smut (Copia is slightly dom; teasing; dirty talk; cunnilingus; fingering; unprotected sex; p in v; breeding) | Swearing | Italian swearing

Available on AO3

Primo (ao3) | Secondo (ao3) | Terzo (ao3)

Author's note: This is the Last day of the series XXXMAS AT THE MINISTRY, a Collaboration with @copias-sewer-rat @ghulehunknown and @molly-ghuleh, read their works too. I wanted to let you know that I'll be taking a short break after the Holidays as I'm currently engrossed in a work project. Don't worry, I'll be back soon. Wishing you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

"What do you mean you're not coming?" you questioned with disappointment and confusion, pacing back and forth in your room.

"Amore," Copia sighed from the other end of the line. "Per favore, mi dispiace."

"But everyone's already here," you pointed out, worry evident in your voice. "Copia, you said..."

"I know," he responded. "And it kills me that I'm stuck here for reasons even I can't understand. They don't even need me anymore."

"What have you been doing there?"

"Nothing. The clergy insists the Papa Emeritus stays and observes some proceeds for the upcoming New Year's Eve ritual until it's all done, so I watch and do nothing more," he expressed his frustration, and you could almost hear him running a hand through his hair. "I just want to see you; I miss you so much."

"I miss you too. A lot..."

"I miss you immensely, amore mio," Copia confessed with a melancholic tone. "I miss your kisses, your smile, your laughter, your touch, your body..." The last word lingered, emphasized as if he were savoring the memory. "I even miss your beautiful nose."

"My nose?" you chuckled, sitting down on the edge of your bed. "What does that even mean?"

"I don't know! I just know that you are perf—" His words were abruptly cut off, and he fell silent. "Amore, I need to go now. I wish I could talk to you a little longer. I really missed your voice throughout the day."

"I missed yours too," you admitted, a tinge of longing in your tone. "What should I do now if you won't make it for dinner?"

"Amore mio," he said with a gentle tone. "There's just one thing that can be done now; you will enjoy the Christmas dinner you put so much effort into." he sighed, frustration evident.

"Ok..." you replied with a touch of sadness in your voice. "But promise me you'll be here tomorrow."

"I promise," he assured, "I'll make it up to you, amore mio. Ti amo così tanto."

"I love you too," you whispered

And then, he ended the call with a series of soft kissing sounds, a distant echo of the warmth you longed for. You sighed, holding the phone away from your ear, absorbing his kisses that felt both comforting and painfully distant. Copia hadn't been this occupied in a long time, and it was Christmas Eve of all days. Both of you had anticipated his return for the holidays, expecting him to be at home with you.

Frustration bubbled up within you as you glanced around the room. Helplessness settled in, and there was nothing you could do but yearn for Copia's presence. Rising from the bed, you adjusted your clothes, took a deep breath, and walked purposefully to the bedroom door.

With a gentle push, you opened the door, ensuring it closed quietly behind you. The echoes of your footsteps resonated as you retraced your path back to the dining room of the Papal Apartment. As you moved through the rooms, you couldn't help but appreciate the festive decor. At least he had taken the time to help you decorate.

"So?" Terzo inquired as you reentered the dining room, slipping his phone back into his blazer pocket.

"He won't make it," you revealed, a touch of melancholy lingering in your voice, veiled by a faint attempt at a smile.

"What do you mean he won't make it?" Secondo asked, topping off his wine. "What's going on?"

"He mentioned the clergy is keeping him there," you explained.

Terzo grumbled, "Gruppo di vecchi, rabbiosi idioti. What now? Why can't they let him have a break?"

"I..." you sighed, moving toward the table. "I don't know."

"It's still Christmas," Primo chimed in. "I believe Copia would want us to celebrate together. We can still have our dinner."

Terzo rolled his eyes dramatically. "Well, it wouldn't be a proper holiday without the clergy complicating things, sì?"

Secondo, his annoyance palpable, grumbled, "This is ridiculous. What are we supposed to do without him? It's Christmas Eve!"

Primo, chimed in once again, with a gentle smile. "We can still make it special. Copia would want us to enjoy the evening together."

You nodded. "Yeah, you're right."

"So, what's the plan now?" Terzo quipped, his tone laden with sarcasm as he eyed the table. "Shall we stage a satanic reenactment of the Last Supper without our fratello?"

Secondo grunted, clearly irritated. "Stai zitto, Terzo. But he is right, Christmas dinner without him? Doesn't feels right."

"I agree with Primo. I doubt he'd want us to do not enjoy the dinner while he's stuck there," you murmured, your sadness bubbling to the surface.

Terzo smirked, pouring himself another glass of wine, "Maybe we can send him a virtual plate. I'm sure the clergy wouldn't mind that."

"Terzo..." Primo sighed, rolling his eyes in Terzo's direction. "We can, at the very least, set aside some leftovers for him," he suggested. "A Christmas meal will be waiting for him when he finally returns."

You managed a weak smile. "I just wish he could be here."

Terzo sighed, looking at you. He made his way to your direction and placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. "Guess those unholier-than-thou vecchi need him to bless their turkey with a side of devilish charm or something."

Your gaze shifted to Terzo, and a laugh escaped you. He responded with a warm smile, exchanging the hand on your shoulder for a gentle touch on your face.

"Thank you," you said, with gratitude.

Terzo nodded appreciatively and turned away, taking his place at the table. "Can't let this food go to waste, can we? Mangiamo, sto morendo di fame."

With that, the four of you took your seats at the table. Though the absence of Copia cast a shadow over the celebration, the presence of Primo, Secondo and Terzo, eased the melancholy. After all, they had all made their way to the Ministry for this special occasion, and you felt a sense of responsibility not to let the festive spirit dwindle.

Secondo, in particular, had regaled the gathering with stories of meticulously crafting a turkey recipe he discovered in some book. Meanwhile, Terzo, had taken charge of the wine selection, claiming he didn't trust his brothers to make the right choices. Primo, had taken it upon himself to prepare cranberry sauce for the occasion. He proudly revealed that he had been cultivating cranberries in his house throughout the year, patiently waiting for this moment.

The four of you began serving yourselves. However, each time you glanced to your side, the empty seat served as a poignant reminder of Copia's absence. The realization that he wouldn't be home, sharing in the Christmas dinner, weighed heavily on your heart. The inexplicable demands of the clergy, only made it challenging to fully embrace the joy of the occasion.

However, your melancholic thoughts were momentarily interrupted when Secondo extended his arm towards you, pointing to the cranberry sauce placed in front of you. You looked at his hand and took the bowl, passing it to Secondo with a warm smile on your lips.

Primo began, leaning back in his seat. "It's good to have the family reunited. We haven't seen each other that much," he remarked, lifting his glass of wine for a sip. "Especially now that we're not tied up at the Ministry."

"Vero," Secondo agreed, his gaze briefly drifting to the empty seat. "Miss those times, even if they were chaotic."

Terzo, with a smirk, added, "Chaos and all, it was our chaos."

"Sì," Primo nodded, his expression softening. "But, at least we can enjoy Christmas without worrying about being summoned for some arcane ritual or paperwork."

Terzo raised his glass. "To getting a break."

The glasses chimed together in a harmonious toast, and each of you savored a sip of your drinks. Setting the glasses down on the table, you all returned to your meals, continuing to enjoy the Christmas feast.

Primo, his eyes sparkling with mischief, broke the silence. “Remember the time when we were younger and we decided to give the Ministry a taste of our version of Christmas caroling?”

Terzo grinned, a twinkle in his eye. “Ah, the ‘Satanic Carolers’ ensemble. Our renditions of classic carols with a satanic twist."

"And who can forget Terzo's attempt at caroling?" Secondo added, sharing a knowing look with Terzo.

Terzo rolled his eyes. "My rendition of 'Jingle Bells' was avant-garde."

“Of course,” Secondo replied with a touch of irony. “Truly groundbreaking.”

“What? You don’t appreciate my avant-garde style?” Terzo asked, turning his face to look at Secondo, who couldn’t help but burst into laughter.

Primo and you joined Secondo in laughter, and even Terzo, unable to resist the infectious moment, started to chuckle. With that, the four of you continued with the dinner, savoring the food and exchanging conversations filled with laughter.

Although Copia's absence lingered, the presence of his brothers somehow eased your melancholic thoughts, creating a sense of warmth. The only wish lingering in your mind was for Copia to be home tomorrow, sharing a Christmas lunch with the family.

As the hours slipped away, you all gradually set aside your plates, leaning back in your seats to savor a moment of contentment. Eventually, the four of you to rise and initiate the post-dinner cleanup. Plates and remnants of the feast were gathered, and you moved together to the kitchen.

Side by side, you worked on organizing the leftovers into the refrigerator and washing the dishes. The clatter of plates and the hum of conversation filled the kitchen. Once the tasks were completed, you four returned to the living room, reconvening around the dining table for more conversation and shared wine.

"I just want to thank you all for coming," you expressed with gratitude, a warm smile accompanying your words.

"You don't have to thank us," Primo replied warmly. "You're family now."

"It was great to have you planning this dinner for us," Terzo added.

"That's true, we appreciate it," Secondo acknowledged, taking a contemplative sip of his wine. "Should we get going now?"

Primo nodded ever so slightly, a warm smile playing on his lips. "Sì, we should be on our way," he suggested.

"Certo," Secondo concurred. "And thank you for the dinner," he added.

As Secondo and Primo spoke, the four of you gracefully made your way toward the entrance of the Papal Apartment. As you reached the door, you took hold of the doorknob, turning it to open the door for them. The trio stepped out into the hallway, turning to face you.

"Thank you all for coming and staying; I'm sure Copia would have enjoyed it."

"Non preoccuparti," Secondo reassured. "We'll be back for lunch tomorrow, sì?"

"I hope so; there's still an abundance of food left."

"We'll be here," Primo said, gracefully taking your hand and pressing a tender kiss onto the back of it. "Buona notte."

"Good night, Papa," you replied.

"Buona notte," Secondo nodded with a subtle gesture of farewell.

"Good night," you said, a warm smile lighting up your face.

"Buona notte. Don't forget to store the wine correctly for tomorrow," Terzo reminded.

"Of course, I wouldn't forget."

"Bene, molto bene," Terzo nodded, beginning to walk away. However, he paused, turned back to you, and walked in your direction. "I almost forgot," he said, placing his hand in his pocket and extending a neatly folded piece of paper to you. "That's from Copia. Buona fortuna."

Turning away, Terzo rejoined his brothers who were a few steps ahead. Clutching the neatly folded paper in your hand, you closed the door with a measured touch, your brows knit in anticipation. Walking towards the bedroom, you unfolded the paper with a sense of intrigue.

Upon reaching the bedroom, you paused in your steps, entering with a focused gaze fixed on the paper in your hands—Copia's handwritten note. As your eyes traced the lines, you began to read.

As you read these words, Terzo has faithfully passed on this message to you. No need to worry, everything's fine. Remember the first time we bumped into each other at the Ministry? I was immersed in preparing the altar for the mass when you graced me with your presence. Well, head back there. A little surprise awaits you. Yours always, Copia

What was this? What could Copia possibly mean with this note? A treasure hunt crossed your mind, and a laugh escaped your lips at the whimsical idea. Regardless, there was no time to linger on speculation. Your focus sharpened as you realized you needed to reach a specific destination—the Chapel.

Exiting your bedroom with hurried steps, excitement bubbled within you at the prospect of what awaited in the chapel. Could it be Copia? Probably wasn't, as he wasn't at the Ministry, and he wouldn't have skipped the Christmas dinner if he were. As you reached the front door of the Papal Apartment, you swung it open with a sense of urgency. The door closed behind you, and with purposeful strides, you made your way towards the chapel.

As you stepped into the chapel, the familiar scent of incense enveloped you, evoking memories of that first meeting. You still remember it—carrying Terzo's robes, you had entered to find Copia near the altar. He was still a Cardinal back then, and you were merely another sibling of sin toiling diligently within the Ministry. On that day, your paths crossed for the first time. Copia, in his red Cardinal robes, had glanced up as you entered. And for a moment your eyes met, and a subtle understanding passed between you—an unspoken connection.

Looking around the chapel, you felt a moment of uncertainty, you pondered where to go. However, as your gaze shifted towards the altar, a nostalgic sight caught your eye—the old red biretta that Copia used to wear. A bright smile illuminated your face as recognition dawned. You quickly made your way toward the altar, guided by the familiar presence of his cardinal hat.

Reaching for the altar, you delicately cradled the biretta in your hands, feeling the texture of its well-worn fabric. Softness filled your eyes as you gazed at the cardinal hat, a symbol of Copia's past. Nostalgia washed over you as you thought about the times when Copia was the Cardinal. There was a certain amusement in witnessing him in those distinctive red robes. It wasn't that you weren't proud of his role as Papa Emeritus IV; it was just the appreciation for the unique charm he exuded in his earlier cardinal days.

While appreciating Copia's biretta in your hands, you almost overlooked another folded paper hidden beneath it. Gently placing the cardinal hat back on the altar, you retrieved the concealed note. Unfolding it, your eyes were met with yet another message from Copia.

You know, I carry the memory of that day with me in my heart. It's impossible to forget. When our eyes met, it was as if time itself surrendered, leaving just you and me in this unholy Ministry, breathing and existing in the moment. We didn't exchange words back then. You were busy with your tasks, and I had my own to tackle. Yet, I have a confession to make—I was dying to hear your voice. Can you recall where we finally had our first conversation? With love, Copia

Finishing the note, you couldn't contain the excitement that had taken hold of you. Biting your lower lip, you pondered whether to take the biretta with you as a tangible connection to Copia. However, a decision was made to leave it on the altar, preserving the memory of your shared moments within the chapel.

As you walked away from the altar, your steps guided you toward the front door of the chapel. Exiting, you embarked on your way back to the place where your initial conversations with Copia had unfolded—the cafeteria.

The first conversation with Copia might not have been a grand affair, but it held a charm of its own. On that day, a lighthearted encounter in the cafeteria set the stage for a connection that would deepen over time.

It was a morning like any other, as you queued up to grab your breakfast. Unbeknownst to you, Copia entered the line right after you, standing behind. The comical twist came when both of you reached for the last juice box simultaneously, your hands meeting in the process. With a shared chuckle, Copia secured the juice box and extended it to you in a gentle gesture. However, you playfully declined, insisting he had reached for it first. It was a simple exchange marked by a twist of routine, as the juice box wasn't your first morning choice. But at this morning, for some reason, it was.

Entering the deserted cafeteria, your gaze was drawn to a familiar spot. Heading towards the food line, you spotted Copia's Cardinal gloves neatly placed, accompanied by a lone juice box. Placing your hand on top of the gloves, you ran your fingers over the lather textured fabric, and to your surprise, a slight sound echoed. Curiosity piqued, you picked up one of the gloves, discovering a folded paper tucked inside. Retrieving the concealed note, you unfolded it, eager to unveil the next message Copia had left for you.

Your voice, it's like the sweetest melody I've ever known. And when you laugh, it's like a warm embrace for my heart. I want you to know how much I cherish that moment when you chose that juice box on that fateful day, and your generosity in leaving it for me didn't go unnoticed. So now, I'm saving one just for you. Our talk that day may not have been long, but little did we know, it would set the stage for more conversations between us. We became friends, and over time, I found myself falling in love with you. And then, summoning every ounce of courage, I finally told you about my feelings. Do you still recall that day? Do you remember where I bared my heart and told you I loved you? Don't forget the juice box, Copia

A chuckle escaped you as you finished reading the note, and you couldn't help but be amused by Copia's playful hints. Reaching for the juice box, you deftly removed the straw from the back, unwrapping it before inserting it into the box. Taking a sip, a smile played on your lips as memories flooded back. The taste of the juice box held a unique significance, as his kisses, sometimes tasted like the very juice you were sipping.

Yet, this wasn't the time for sentimental reflections. Pushing aside those emotions, you took a deep breath and made your way out of the cafeteria, heading towards the next destination—the hallways. But not just any hallway, a specific one, guided by the clues Copia had left for you.

As time passed, the bond between you and Copia deepened. Your moments together became more frequent, and you discovered comfort in each other's presence. Sneaking into his Cardinal's cabinet became a routine, a chance to share the day, whether in conversation or in peaceful silence. In those quiet moments, the ease between you two reassured you that there was nothing to worry about.

The day Copia confessed his love for you was entirely unexpected. The two of you were strolling down the hallway en route to the library, where Copia needed to organize some archives. You offered him a helping hand, even though you were fairly certain he didn't require any assistance. Surprisingly, he accepted your offer.

As you walked together, a comfortable silence settled between you. The rhythmic sound of your synchronized footsteps echoed through the empty corridor. Suddenly, out of nowhere, his voice broke the silence, uttering three words that initially took a moment to register. After a brief pause, your mind comprehended—Copia had just said, "I love you."

And just as Copia had fallen in love, so had you.

Approaching the spot in the hallway where Copia had confessed his love, you noticed a folder lying on the floor. Bending down to retrieve it, you discovered a paper tucked inside. Pulling out the note, you unfolded it, eager to read the words wrote by Copia, perhaps offering another clue in the unfolding mystery of this treasure hunt.

The confession just burst out of me, guided by an overwhelming desire to shout my love to the world. I thought I might regret it, but to my surprise, I didn't—never have. The day I confessed my love was also the day I kissed you. Though, regrettably, it didn't happen right then. Just as I spilled my feelings, some siblings showed up, and we hastily made our way to the library. The ensuing silence was the most agonizing I've ever endured in your presence. Saying "I love you" without hearing it back left me sweating beneath my cassock. Yet, when we finally left, you spoke those words at the very spot where we had our first kiss. Can you recall where that was? We're almost at the end of this little game, and your gift awaits there. I love you. I love you more than words can express. I wish I could whisper those three words to you every minute of my day, Copia

Taking a deep breath, you leaned against the cold marble wall in the hallway, feeling its chill against your back. That day, and the kiss you both shared, are etched in your memory. When he uttered those three words, your heart threatened to burst, and the inability to reciprocate immediately left you in a momentary desperation.

From that moment onward, not a day passed without both of you expressing your love for each other. Stepping away from the chilly wall, you eagerly headed towards the place where your love story began—the Cardinal's cabinet.

After leaving the library that day, both of you carried archives in your hands, enveloped in a shared silence. The synchronicity of your steps faltered, as his pace quickened, and you hurriedly followed him down the hallway to his cabinet. And as you both entered the cabinet, Copia remained silent, almost as if he were anticipating something.

As you closed the door behind you and confessed your love, Copia turned towards you, drawing his face closer, almost reaching the point of a kiss. Perplexingly, he paused, perhaps awaiting a cue. In your impatience, you closed the gap before he could, and both of you let the archives fall to the floor, embracing each other passionately.

Standing in front of his old cabinet's door, uncertainty lingered about whether it would swing open. You reached for the doorknob and found it unexpectedly open. Pushing it open, you stepped into the now vacant space, a testament to his transfer to Papa's office.

Looking around the room, nothing immediately caught your eye. Wandering around, you systematically checked every nook and cranny, rifling through drawers and inspecting empty shelves. The note remained elusive. It wasn't until you halted beside his table and glanced towards the door that you spotted the note, suspended by a piece of tape.

You placed the empty juice box on the top of his old desk, hurrying to the door with a smile. You took the note and unfolded it, eager to read the note left for you.

When those three words finally escaped your lips, an irresistible urge propelled me to kiss you immediately. Yet, a fleeting doubt crossed my mind—was it a reciprocation or a repetition? However, as you closed the gap and our lips met, I understood, and the taste of that kiss is etched in my memory. We shared numerous kisses within the Ministry, especially in this cabinet. One night, you lingered with me until the late hours. I wrapped up my work, and just like any other day, I planted a goodnight kiss on your lips. However, that kiss took an unexpected turn, leading us somewhere else. In that place, we became one. Your gift awaits there, Copia

Opening the door to his old cabinet, you swiftly exited, closing it behind you with determination. Without a second thought, you knew it was time for your last stop—his old chambers.

The night referenced in the note held the memory of the evening you and Copia shared a heated kiss—an unforgettable moment when neither of you wanted to part. The unspoken desire lingering in that kiss set the stage for what felt like an inevitable path towards spending your first night together. Copia, sensing the shared passion, asked if you wanted to accompany him to his chambers.

Without hesitation, you accepted. As you both entered his chambers, your lips were already engaged in a fervent kiss. The desire between you two was palpable, prompting a delicate dance of undressing without breaking the kiss. As you both managed to shed your clothes, each second of separation filled with a longing that only intensified the desire.

On that night, as the note exposed, you and Copia became one. And it proved to be one of the most memorable and intimate nights you had ever shared with someone.

Approaching the door to his chambers, a soft glow of candlelight seeped through the narrow gap underneath. Your hand reached for the doorknob, and as you opened the door, the room revealed itself bathed in the gentle illumination of flickering candles. The ambiance was serene, with nothing out of place except for the impeccably made bed.

Stepping inside, you closed the door behind you, enveloping the room in a sense of intimacy. A warm smile graced your lips as you took a moment to survey the familiar surroundings. It had been a while since you last set foot in this space—since Copia ascended to the role of Papa Emeritus and subsequently moved to the Papal Apartment, inviting you to join him.

Approaching his neatly made bed, you noticed the final folded paper resting on top. Picking it up, you unfolded it with anticipation, ready to read the last message that Copia had left for you.

You, the most sinful creation molded by the skilled hands of our Dark Lord, leave me utterly enchanted. Every nuance of your body, every inch, every fragment, fuels an ever-growing love within me. It's almost surreal to think that Satan himself could have blessed me with you, but I express gratitude to him daily. This place holds the memories of our first time and countless others. It's where you truly became mine, and I became yours. I brought you here with the simple desire to reclaim you as mine once again. I promised you a gift, didn't I? So, why don't you turn around?

Finishing the note, you raised your head and turned your body, only to find Copia on his knees right behind you. A sweet smile adorned his face as he extended his hand toward you. Your heart skipped a beat at the sight of him, and you bit your lower lip to contain the emotions welling up within you.

Extending your hand to meet his, Copia delicately held it, placing a tender kiss on the back and brushing his nose against it. As he lifted his head to meet your gaze, parting his lips.

"We've been together for so many years," he began, his words laced with sentiment. "Countless memories, myriad places, and an abundance of moments that have woven our lives together. You've been the constant flame that has illuminated my heart, making each moment brighter and more meaningful. Your love has become the sacred devotion that binds me to you," with another tender kiss on the back of your hand, he continued, "I brought you here today because I want to recommit myself to you, to reclaim you as mine. And no, amore mio, I'm not talking about the physical aspect. Would you honor me with the privilege of marrying me?" he asked, his gaze sincere and filled with love.

"W-What?" you stammered, your eyes widening in surprise. "What did you just say?"

He took a deep breath, his gaze shifting nervously. "I asked you if you want to... Eeh..." As he started to stand up from his knees, uncertainty painted his expression. "I- I... Maybe it's too soon, sì?" he questioned, his voice laced with a hint of self-doubt.

A stunned silence enveloped you as you processed what had just transpired—Copia had just proposed. Lost in your thoughts, you suddenly felt his hands gently touching your face, cupping it, and turning it towards him. Your eyes locked, and in that intimate gaze, you could discern a subtle tremor in his usually composed demeanor.

"Copia..." you whispered, your voice soft as you closed your eyes.

"S-Sì?" His response held a hint of anticipation and nervousness.

"It's not too soon," a smile graced your lips as you opened your eyes, meeting his gaze. "You don't have to ask me twice; of course, I'll marry you."

"Vita mia..." he whispered, drawing his face closer to yours, hovering just inches away, teasing with the possibility of a kiss. "Are you attempting to assassinate your Papa at Christmas?"

You laughed, shaking your head gently. "Never," you replied. "You simply caught me off guard."

"Isn't that how marriage proposals should be?" he inquired, tilting his head, his thumbs tenderly caressing your cheeks.

"I guess?" you smiled, your gaze moving from his eyes to his inviting lips.

“I'm sure of it, amore,” he whispered, his lips brushing the corner of yours, "So, do your Papa get his Christmas kiss now, or should he expect for a mistletoe?"

You grinned, your eyes twinkling mischievously. “How about both?” Your lips hovered closer, the temptation growing with each passing moment. "Although I don't have a mistletoe with me right now..."

With a nearly imperceptible nod, Copia closed the lingering distance between you. His lips finally united with yours in a romantic, unhurried kiss, steeped in both longing and devotion. His hands cradled your face with tenderness, while your own settled at his waist, fingers grasping his shirt with a touch of possessiveness.

The kiss unfolded with a deliberate slowness, a dance of passion free from the urgency of teeth and tongues. It spoke volumes of a love so profound that words paled in comparison. As the connection deepened, you found yourself surrendering to the moment, lost in its enchantment.

The gentle caress of his lips against yours sent a shiver down your spine. His touch, gentle yet firm, prompted your arms to wrap around his neck, drawing him nearer as his own encircled your waist, holding you close. The warmth of his body seeped into yours, creating a comforting heat. The rhythmic thud of his heart against your chest resonated in harmony.

The sweetness of his mouth lingered, fueling a desire for more. Your arms left his neck, trailing down his back, pulling him in closer. His response was an intensified kiss, his tongue delicately exploring the contours of your mouth.

The connection deepened, an electric current coursing through your body. It felt as if an invisible force tethered you two, compelling a response. Your lips parted, allowing an intricate dance of tongues to unfold. As the intensity peaked, you summoned the strength to pull away, your fingers gradually tracing a path with your fingertips from his back to his chest.

"Copia..." the velvety tone of your voice wrapped around his name.

"Sì, amore mio?" He responded, gently.

"When did you arrive here?" You traced your fingers along the contours of his chest, a playful smile dancing on your lips.

"Not a long time ago," he replied, his hands moving from your waist to your hips, drawing you in closer.

Your fingers toyed with the fabric around his neck, a mischievous glint in your eyes. "So you planned all of this?"

He hesitated for a moment before replying, "Euhh... Sì..."

A mock expression of anger crossed your face as you accused, "So you knew you'd be at the Ministry, and you lied to me!"

"Oh, amore mio," he chuckled, leaning his face closer to yours once again. "I wasn't certain about the exact time I'd arrive. I needed to be sure I could make it work. But It was a good reason to lie, sì?"

"How long have you been planning this?" you inquired in a soft tone.

Copia turned to you, the smile still gracing his face. “I’ve wanted to ask you this for a long time. Since I realized how you make my dark world brighter, and I can’t imagine myself with anyone else. I can't wait to spend the rest of my existence making you as happy as you make me."

"Copia, I'm already happy by your side," you murmured. "But, you know," you began, tracing circles on his chest with your fingertips, "you're not getting away with proposing without answering some important questions."

Copia grinned, his eyes twinkled with amusement as he looked at you. "Ask away, vita mia."

"Firstly," you said, feigning a serious tone, "how did you manage to plan all this without me catching a single hint? I thought I knew all your secrets."

Copia chuckled, his thumb gently caressing your hand. "A Papa Emeritus always has a few tricks up his sleeve."

"Nice answer," a giggle escaped from your lips. "Secondly, was this grand proposal plan your own masterpiece, or did your brothers offer their expert opinions?"

He chuckled, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "As much as I'd love to credit Primo, Secondo and Terzo with impeccable romantic taste, this plan was all mine. I wanted it to be special, just for us. However, they helped me to gain some time."

"They did what?" You laughed. "Smooth, Papa. Very smooth. Now, the last and most crucial question—did you rehearse your proposal lines in front of a mirror?"

"Oh!" Copia's expression shifted to a mockingly serious tone. "Absolutely not!" He followed it with a playful chuckle. "Eh, maybe just a little?"

You playfully narrowed your eyes at him. "A little?"

"Well, every great performance deserves a bit of rehearsal, sì?" Copia grinned, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Vieni qui, amore mio," he gently pulled you closer, pressing your bodies together, and took your lips in another kiss.

This time, the kiss was deeper and passionate. Copia's touch ignited a fire within you. His hands explored your body with a hunger. Fingers traced sensuous patterns along your sides, dipped down to your hips, and returned to the curve of your waist. Copia's arms enveloped you, pulling you close as if he couldn't get enough of the taste, the touch, the essence of you.

As a soft moan escaped your lips, Copia's tongue danced with yours in a passionate exploration. Your arms tightened around his neck, and you responded eagerly, deepening the connection. Copia sighed into the kiss, his head tilting to intensify the intimate dance. Your tongues met in a heated battle, and he groaned against your lips.

Once again, Copia's hands roamed your body, trailing along your spine and tracing the contours of your curves. His touch was electric, sending shivers down your spine. Your bodies molded together seamlessly, and every sensation became a blur of pleasure. Copia's lips moved with a rhythm that matched the pounding of your heart.

The kiss intensified, and a symphony of moans, sighs, and the occasional purr resonated between you. Copia's breath mingled with yours, creating an intoxicating match of lust. The kiss became a fusion of desire and longing, that left you breathless and craving more.

But with a reluctant sigh, you summoned the strength to pull away—gasping for air. Your lips lingering for a moment longer before parting. The air crackled with the energy of the heated kiss, and Copia's eyes, still darkened with desire, met yours.

"S-Should we head upstairs...?" you inquired, your breath catching.

Copia's eyes, clouded with desire, met yours as he caught his breath. "As much as I'd love to, amore mio," he murmured, "I've missed you so much, and if we go upstairs, I won't be able to contain myself in the middle of the way."

You couldn't help but chuckle at his playful tone. "Oh, so you're saying you'd lose control?"

Copia's grin widened, his fingers tracing light patterns on your back. "Entirely. I'm just a Papa who's been missing his better half."

"So why don't you fuck me right here, on your own bed, like you've missed me so much?"

Copia's eyes deepened with desire, a wicked grin playing on his lips as he fixed his gaze on you. Mischief flickered in his mismatched eyes. "Are you absolutely certain about what you're asking?" he inquired, his voice taking on a husky tone.

"I'm well aware of what I'm asking for," you whispered, trailing your tongue from his lips to the tip of his nose.

"Cazzo, ti amo così tanto," he murmured with a voice heavy with desire.

Copia enveloped you in his arms, and you guided him towards his bed. Grasping the fabric around his neck, you pulled him with you until your calves met the mattress. Sensing it, you gradually descended, taking a seat on the edge of his bed. Copia positioned himself on his knees in front of you, maintaining an unwavering gaze. Without diverting his eyes, he initiated the task of undressing you, deliberately unhurried in his movements.

As he finished undressing you, leaving you only in your underwear, he planted a tender peck on your lips. "Don't move," he whispered, his voice carrying a hint of lustful anticipation.

Copia rose, beginning to work on unbuttoning his shirt, but he halted abruptly as you drew your face closer to his crotch, lightly brushing your lips against his evident bulge. You turned your attention to him, mouthing the undoing of his pants, causing Copia to inhale sharply, biting his lower lip. His hand found its way to your head, gently caressing your scalp, and he knelt in front of you once again.

Copia's eyes glinted with a playful intensity as he whispered, his voice tinged with lust, "You're behaving like a very naughty mischief-maker. I don't think Santa will give you a present this year."

A mischievous smile played on your lips as you reached up, cupping his face in your hand and gently caressing his cheek. "And what about you, Papa?" you asked, your tone a sultry invitation. "Will you give me a present?"

Copia's gaze held yours, a hint of desire dancing in his eyes. "Oh, amore mio," he replied, his voice a seductive murmur, "I have a present for you that Santa could never deliver."

He drew closer, pressing his face against your neck, initiating a series of kisses and gentle licks. In that moment, a rush of anticipation surged within you as he drew near. His lips sought yours in a kiss that blended gentleness with passion. His tongue traced the curves of your mouth, hinting at the pleasure yet to unfold. Eagerly, your lips parted, inviting him in, and a tantalizing dance ensued as your tongues entwined, orchestrating a sensuous tango that erased the world around you.

Your arms wrapped around him, pulling him closer, and you gracefully reclined on your back, maintaining the kiss without breaking its spell. Copia, crawled on top of you, his movements deliberate and confident.

His body seamlessly melding with yours in a flawless union. With each movement, the fabric of his clothes provided no resistance to the warmth of his skin. The linen material of his shirt glided between your bodies, generating a sensuous friction that intensified every touch and caress.

The weight of his body upon yours provided both comfort and arousa. Arching against him, you yearned for increased contact and friction. His hands delicately explored every curve and crevice of your body, leaving a lingering trail of electricity in their wake.

Breaking the kiss, he shifted his attention to nibble on your neck, the sensation of his stubble grazing against your sensitive skin sending shivers down your spine. His lips returned to yours, and as his hand descended, it cupped your ass, drawing you closer. The friction of his hardness against your mound became almost intoxicating. A moan escaped your lips, muffled by the intensity of the kiss as he deepened the connection.

The rhythm of his hips synchronized with the beat of your heart. His fingers skillfully navigated between you two, indulging in delicate touches on your thighs before ascending higher. His palm grazed your warmth through your underwear, eliciting a gasp that sent tickles of pleasure coursing through your body. Fingers tightly gripped his hair as you held him close, writhing beneath him, yearning for more of his intoxicating touch.

As if sensing your desires, Copia broke the kiss. "Amore mio, I want to feel you," his lips traced a tantalizing path along your jawline, nibbling your earlobe. "Do you want me to to make you cum, amore? Do you want me to make you scream my name?" His fingers deftly slid beneath the fabric of your underwear, gently stroking your clit, igniting a fire of sensation that left you breathless.

Eagerly nodding your head, your hips instinctively bucked, your core pulsating against his skilled fingers. Copia chuckled devilishly at your response. With your back arching, an unspoken invitation, he seized the opportunity, lifting you just enough to deftly slip off your underwear.

"You're so wet," he murmured. "I can feel how much you want me."

You could feel his hardness pressing against your thigh, and with a sense of urgency, you reached down to stroke him through his jeans. A deep groan escaped Copia's lips, the resonant sound vibrating through you, heightening the anticipation. Copia, attuned to your needs, returned his hand to your wetness, trailing his gloved fingers along your slit before skillfully sliding one finger inside of you. The sensation ignited a surge of pleasure, causing your inner walls to clench in response.

Moaning, you found it difficult to articulate words as Copia withdrew his finger from inside you, tracing a teasing path along your wet slit. The sensation left you aching for more. He slid one gloved finger inside you again, followed by another, filling you in a way that made your toes curl with pleasure. The initial slow and deliberate movements gave way to a faster, harder rhythm as he pumped his fingers in and out of you.

"Oh, fuck!" you gasped, grabbing his hand as it ventured between your thighs. "yes-yes-yes-yes! Just-Ah! Copia! Calm down, or you'll make me cum fast!"

"Calm down?" he inquired, his gaze filled with desire. "I'm perfectly composed, amore. Just doing as instructed, fucking you like I've been missing you."

Your moans intensified, head tossed back, hips gyrating against his hand. Introducing a third finger, he expanded you further, evoking a cry from your lips. Copia skillfully curled his fingers, striking your sweet spot, unleashing waves of pleasure that caused your eyes to roll back and your lips to part. Gripping his shoulders, you dug your nails into him as he persistently worked his fingers in and out of you.

"CoO-Oh-pia!" your voice quivered, your legs beginning to tremble. "Co...Co...Copia-Ah! Ple-Plea...Please!"

He instinctively lowered his body, withdrawing his fingers from you. Swiftly, his face moved between your legs, engulfing your essence with an eager pull, consuming every inch with his mouth. From the base to the summit and back down, he licked you in a rhythmic repetition. He repeated this motion over and over, sucking your clit as he did so.

"Oh, fuck!" you exclaimed, squeezing your eyes shut. "For the love of Satan, Copia!"

Copia chuckled against your wetness, then closed his eyes and placed his hands on your thighs, keeping them open for him. He persisted in licking and sucking, his tongue darting in and out, exploring every inch of your wetness. Advancing to your clit, he flicked it with the tip of his tongue before drawing it into his mouth once more.

Drawing his head back from your core, you gasped, feeling the absence of sensations. As you opened your eyes, you were met with his smudged face, the paint around his lips almost turning gray. Casting a mischievous glance at you, Copia darted his tongue out, licking your slit while locking eyes with you. The intense gaze prompted you to bite your lower lip in response.

"You're quite the sight, Copia," you teased.

"Trying to provoke me, amore?" he asked with a husky voice, lowering his face to your wetness once again, his lips grazing against your folds. "Ever heard that it's not polite to make fun of someone while they're enjoying their meal? Consider this my Christmas dinner. Don't tempt me too much, or you might find yourself the messy one here soon."

Wearing a devilish grin, he licked his lips, relishing the taste of you. Unable to resist, a smile played on your lips as you felt the warmth of his mouth against your core. Copia's eyes focused on your face, studying your features. Suddenly, a low groan escaped his lips, and he delved back into devouring your wetness with renewed enthusiasm. His tongue danced around your clit, prompting you to writhe in ecstasy. The fervor of his licks sent electric shocks of pleasure coursing through your entire body.

"C-Copia... I swear, you're going to make me cum..." you whimpered.

"No, I won't," he declared, withdrawing his head from your core. "Because you're only allowed to cum on my cock and with my cock inside you, capito?"

You nodded, and Copia smirked. Unexpectedly, he thrust his tongue inside you, skillfully swirling it around your walls. A whimper escaped your lips as pleasure surged through you. Your hips arched from the bed, and you ground your core against his face, sliding your clit up and down his nose. With one hand, you reached to grab his head, pressing it firmly against your core. Copia intensified his exploration of your wetness, rolling his eyes in pleasure, breathing warmly against your entrance. The sensation of his breath caused your legs to tremble.

You slid your hand to the top of his head, gently pulling it away as you shifted your hips back. Copia, undeterred, pulled you back towards him, gripping your thighs tightly. Leaving one hand on your thigh, he ventured with the other to your core, thrusting two gloved fingers inside you. A scream escaped your lips at the sensation of his fingers filling you, only to be followed by another cry as his thumb found your clit, skillfully rubbing it in circles, sending waves of pleasure that drove you wild.

"No! Oh, fuck!" you exclaimed, your breath coming fast. "Copia, please... you know I can't hold it if you do it like that."

Maintaining his fingers inside you, he gracefully positioned himself atop you, his face hovering above yours. His knees pressed against your legs, parting them for him. Your gaze met his, and he gently rested his forehead against yours. You tilted your face, capturing a tender kiss from his lips, all the while wrapping your arms around his neck.

"Don't play naughty, amore," he growled. "Behave, and you just might unwrap your present."

"P-Present...? Ah!" you gasped. "What present, Papa?"

"My cock, fucking you the way you like it," he whispered huskily.

He persisted, his fingers maintaining a steady rhythm as they moved in and out of you. Your orgasm was steadily building, and you could feel your juices flowing, coating his gloved fingers as they expertly maneuvered inside of you. A loud moan escaped your lips, prompting him to intensify the pace of his fingers, thrusting deeper and faster. The room echoed with the sound of his leather gloves sliding inside you, merging with the symphony of your breath.

This sent shockwaves of pleasure through your body, and you knew you were close, but Copia abruptly halted, withdrawing his fingers. A frustrated whimper escaped your lips, yearning for more, craving the continued touch.

"Please, don't stop," you begged, your voice quivering with desire.

Copia smirked, "You want more?"

"Yes..." you purred, "please."

Copia's smile deepened, his eyes filled with a mix of lust and mischief. "Not yet," he declared, his voice low. "I want to make it last."

His fingers traced a tantalizing path along your inner thighs, eliciting shivers of anticipation. Moving his hand between your legs, his fingers found your wetness once again. You instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer, your breath now coming in short gasps.

"Stop teasing me," you pleaded. "I need your cock."

Copia grinned devilishly, his hands reaching for your legs as he pulled back, getting on his knees in front of you. "Do you, amore?" He went for his pants, starting to undo them, letting his length swing free. "You want my cock?" he asked, using his gloved hand—still coated with your juices—to stroke his member lazily.

"Yes!" you gasped, your eyes fixed on the glistening tip of his member. "Please, I ache for your cock inside me."

Copia bit his lower lip while stroking his length, the wetness on his palm audibly spreading along his arousal. He began to breathe heavily and closed his eyes. Sensing the charged atmosphere, you slowly slid your hand between your legs, teasing your clit with circular motions.

Trying to stifle your moans, you pressed your lips together and whimpered, observing him pleasing himself in front of you. Continuing to tease your clit, you couldn't resist any longer, sliding two fingers inside yourself. Arching your back, you moaned loud as you began thrusting them in and out, succumbing to the pleasure building within you.

Copia's voice reached your ears, prompting you to open your eyes. "What are you doing?" he inquired.

Your eyes locked onto Copia's, who had a look of pure satisfaction on his face. Seeing your own enjoyment reflected in his expression. You increased the pace, moving your fingers faster and deeper, the sensations becoming too much to handle. You could feel your body tingling with pleasure, and you knew that it was only a matter of time before you would succumb to the intense sensations.

"Why are you playing with my dinner?" He adopted a more serious tone, grabbing your hand to stop you.

"C-Copia..." you took a deep breath. "I just need... I need you..."

Copia sighed, shaking his head, skillfully guiding his member between your folds as he pulled your fingers out of your entrance. You instinctively moved your hips, as if craving more, attempting to adjust your entrance to the tip of his length. However, Copia halted you, placing a firm hand on your stomach and gently lowering your hips.

"No..." Copia murmured, firmly holding his member and delivering a teasing slap against your wetness, the sound resonating through the room. "Comportati."

Copia sensually brought your fingers to his mouth, licking and mouthing them with a moan that echoed softly. As his mouth closed around your fingers, his tongue skillfully contoured them, creating an arousing suction. Meanwhile, he increased the pace of his self-stimulation, moving his hips in a rhythmic thrust against his own hand. The tip of his member collided with your heat, expertly rubbing against your clit.

He pulled your fingers out of his mouth with a distinct "pop" sound and gave them a final lick, locking eyes with you. "Turn for me, amore," he commanded, tapping your waist.

Obediently, you turned your body, laying down on your stomach, but swiftly, Copia gripped your waist, pulling your hips up to meet his. The sensation of his member pressed against you ignited a fervent response, and you began to move your hips, stealing a glance at him behind you. Unperturbed, Copia started removing his gloves, an act that hinted at his effort to restrain himself.

As he peeled off his gloves, his bare hands reached for your hips, sensually caressing them. "So desperate for me, amore," he whispered. "I love it when you're like that."

"Please, Copia," you pleaded, your voice barely above a whisper. "I want you. Fuck me."

His eyes darkened with desire as he observed your hips moving against him. Biting his lip, he struggled to maintain control but succumbed to the overwhelming temptation. His hands found their way to your back, skillfully massaging away the tension from your muscles. The touch was firm yet gentle, sending a wave of pleasure coursing through you. His hand glided down the small of your back, cupping one of your ass cheeks in his palm.

"I want you too," his hands shifted to your hips, pulling them closer to him.

His hardness pressed more insistently against you as he drew himself closer. "Fuck me, Copia."

With a groan, Copia pressed his hardness against your entrance. You were so wet that he slid in easily, filling you completely with one thrust. A moan escaped your lips, your body arching back into him. Copia began to move slowly, savoring the sensation of being inside you. Your body felt like heaven, and he wanted to make the experience last as long as possible. His hands gripped your hips, holding you still as he moved within you.

Copia, his voice low and filled with a seductive rasp, whispered, "Feel the pleasure, my sinful muse, as our bodies intertwine," he smiled and began to move faster. "Like an offering to the darkness that binds us," he continued, slamming into you with each trust. "Every moan, every gasp, a hymn in the name our unholy communion on this unholy night."

You gasped at his words, gripping the sheets firmly as Copia picked up the pace, driving into you harder and faster. Each thrust sent a wave of pleasure through you, his length hitting your cervix repeatedly, delving deeper with every movement. He lowered his body on top of yours, reaching for your hands to hold them firmly. Pressing kisses on your cheek, he traced a path from there to your back, leaving a trail of sensation in his wake.

"Yes, Copia... Mmm... Copia," you purred, your eyes closing as you held his hand in a firm grip. "Oh, yes, just like that! You fuck me so good."

"You're so tight," he said, his voice husky with desire. "I can't help but fuck you harder."

Your bodies moved in unison, a dance of perfect harmony. His hips slammed against your ass cheeks, the rhythmic sound filling the room and intertwining with your shared breaths and moans. His hands left yours, he wrapped his arms around you, squeezing you firmly against him. The sensation of his hardness sliding in and out of you was incredible, and you were lost in pleasure, the loud moans that came out of your mouth became unable to control.

"Pap-Ahhh..." you moaned, your eyes fluttering in pleasure as you felt his steady rhythm, his member sliding in and out of your tightness with ease.

His thrusts quickened, the audible sound of flesh slapping against flesh growing louder. Copia released his arms from around you, straightening his body. Temporarily halting his thrusts, he moved his hands to his shirt, skillfully unbuttoning it. Turning your head to watch, you clenched your walls around him, the anticipation building as his body was slowly revealed. His hairy chest formed a trail of masculinity down to his happy trail, prompting you to bite your lower lip.

Fueled by lust, you seized control, slamming your hips against him and taking charge of the rhythm, fucking yourself on his length. Copia let out a guttural growl, tearing off his shirt and tossing it aside. His hands returned to your hips, and he watched you intently as you moved your hips against his.

"Sì, sì, sì," he moaned. "Sì-Ah! Amore mio, you're amazing, so perfect for me, so eager," his fingers digging into your skin. "So hot, so wet, so tight, so incredibly beautiful as you ride my cock."

His eyes brimmed with lust, the hunger evident in their depths. His hands on your hips guided your movements as he started to move his own hips against yours. Abruptly, he pulled back, eliciting a whimper of emptiness from you as your hips fell onto the bed. Rising from the bed, he swiftly pulled his pants down, leaving them discarded on the floor.

Copia returned to the bed, crawling on top of you. Lowering his face onto the top of your back, he pressed a tender kiss on your shoulder and cheek. "Are you ready to cum for me, amore?" he whispered, brushing his nose against your cheek.

Your eyes locked onto each other, a silent understanding passing between you as you nodded. Copia responded with a smirk, supporting his hands on the bed, lifting his body. Skillfully moving his hips, he adjusted his position behind you and effortlessly guided his member back inside you, delving even deeper.

The moment he entered you, your eyes rolled back in ecstasy. You felt his shaft stretching you to the limit, filling every inch of your body with his warmth. The sensation was overwhelming as he began to move inside you, each thrust sending waved of pleasure coursing through your veins.

"Make me cum," you purred. "And fill me with your cum, Papa."

Continuing his rhythmic motions, he clutched the sheets for leverage. You pressed your hips against him, mirroring the increasing intensity of his pace. Your body responded eagerly to the sensations he crafted. His breathing grew heavier, each exhale carrying a sense of urgency, and his movements became more intense and erratic.

"I'm going to cum, amore," he announced. "I'm going to fill your tight, warm pussy."

You could feel his member pulsing inside you, and then, with a final thrust, he released himself within you. The sensation of his seed filling you up sent you over the edge. Your body trembled as the waves of your orgasm washed over you. He collapsed on top of you, his weight pressing against you as you both caught your breath, your bodies shuddering in the aftermath of pleasure.

Copia delicately withdrew from your body, a lingering trace of his essence left behind. Reclining beside you, his body turned towards yours, he extended a gentle hand to stroke your cheek with his thumb. A weary smile adorned your face, and he leaned in, resting his forehead against yours.

With closed eyes, you slowly shifted towards him, seeking proximity. Copia encircled his arms around you, pulling you closer. His forehead parted from yours, planting a tender kiss on it. As you bit your lip, your eyes fluttered open, meeting his gaze with a mix of emotions.

"I love you," he declared, his eyes brimming with adoration.

"I love you more," you playfully countered.

"That's impossible, amore mio," he chuckled. "After all, it was I who proposed to you tonight, so that means I love you more."

"Does it?" you began, adopting a teasing tone. "But Copia, if you proposed to me, where's the... ring?" you chuckled.

"Uh... Eh!" With a confidant grin, he turned his back to you reaching for his pants on the floor, delving into his pants' pocket. He pulled it out with his hand closed, turning his body back to your direction. With a theatrical flair, he opened his hand, revealing the ring nestled in his palm. "Ta-da!" he exclaimed, a glint of triumph in his eyes.

A soft chuckle escaped you as you leaned in, pressing a lingering kiss onto his lips. Copia reciprocated by reaching for your hand, bringing it closer to his face and pressing a tender kiss onto the back of your hand. His touch was gentle yet deliberate as he delicately slipped the ring onto your finger. As the ring found its place, a radiant smile adorned his lips, and his eyes sparkled with joy as he admired the newly adorned hand.

"Well, I guess that means we're stuck with each other now," you said, a warm smile playing on your lips.

"Forever, amore," he whispered, his voice filled with a mixture of joy and affection. Leaning in for another kiss, he paused just before closing the gap.

Yearning for him to close the gap, your hand goes to his face, cupping his cheek as you stare at him. "What's wrong?"

His eyes sparkled with adoration as he caressed the back of your hand. He stared at you in silence for a moment, you can see his eyes tracing the features of your face “I'm really in love with you," a wide smile start to grew on is lips. "Merry Christmas, my soon-to-be forever partner."

And then, with that, Copia closed the gap between you two, capturing your lips in a kiss that was both sweet and slow. The taste lingered, carrying the feeling of the shared promise of forever.

Grammar

Amore (mio) - My love

Per favore, mi dispiace - Please, I'm sorry

Ti amo così tanto - I love you so much

Gruppo di vecchi, rabbiosi idioti - Group of old, grumpy idiots

Fratello - Brother

Stai zitto - Be quiet

Vecchi - Old

Mangiamo, sto morendo di fame - Let's eat, I'm starving

Vero - True

Sì - Yes

Certo - Certainly

Non preoccuparti - Don't worry

Buona notte - Good night

Bene, molto bene - Well, very well

Buona fortuna - Good luck

Vita mia - My life

Vieni qui, amore mio - Come here, my love

Capito? - Understood?

Comportati - Behave

[lizzieislife94x]

New Recruit (w.m)

Requested ❤️

Wanda G!PxFem Reader

Let's say its set in age of ultron era

 Y/ns POV:

I lay in bed curled up staring at the wall I've been here for a while but still feel super uncomfortable I still don't speak to anyone I can't seem to come out of my shell and let any of them in except one Wanda Maximoff she's the only avenger I've spent time with or spoke to she makes me feel safe and comfortable when anyone else tries to speak to me I just look at the floor and play with my fingers they all understand and I'm greatful but I prefer to stay in my room alone, I'm suddenly snapped out of my thoughts by a knock at my door, I don't make an attempt to answer it I stay where I am until I hear her voice in my head "y/n sweetie it's only me it's wanda can I come in please I know you're there I can hear your thoughts they're so loud honey" I close my eyes enjoying her voice as I roll out of bed and walk to the door opening it slowly looking at wanda then the floor with a shy smile I step back indicating for her to come in she gladly steps in and skips to my bed with a huge smile "hey" I whisper low as walk towards the bed pulling my jumper over my hands nervously I sit at my side of the bed and bring my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around my legs looking at the witch sitting opposite of me "hey how are you feeling tonight still not ready to talk to the rest of the guys yet" I look down and shake my head no she scoots closer to me and rubs my arm I take a deep breath and look at her "you're the only person I feel comfortable with the only person I want to talk to"

I confess playing with the bottom of my pants as she smiles pulling me into a tight hug catching me off guard I instantly relax into her hold on me and let out a content sigh I slightly turn my head and take a deep breath smelling her vanilla scent she smells so good oh god I hear her giggle and rub my back I wrap my arms around her wanting to be as close as possible to her thankful for any skin on skin contact I can get "this is nice " she whispers as her hand moves to my hair playing with it ever so gently I just nod in agreement, both of us sitting in a comfortable silence for a minute "hey how about I go get some snacks tell no one to bother us order some take out and we lay like this and watch movies?" I can't help but smile against her neck "yes please that would be amazing" I roll off her so she can go get snacks and stuff while I sit on the bed watching her leave, uh god this woman has my heart and she doesn't even know it how can I be madly inlove with her, I shake my head and smile she's so understanding and patient with me all the small things she does like what she just done makes my heart melt she could be hanging out with everyone else having fun doing whatever they're doing but instead she came to me to see if I was OK to spend time with me to make sure I was feeling fine shes so perf... "ok I got chips, chocolates soda and water some popcorn some nerds some airheads and some nerd ropes"

she says with a huge grin making me smile wide as she runs to the bed throwing all the snacks down "you're amazing all my favourites" I smile feeling my cheeks flush red "anything for you princess, I also told everyone to stay away the rest of the night and I ordered your favourite Chinese food" I feel my eyes water and quickly wrap my arms around her holding her tight "thank you" I simply whisper as she wraps her arms around me and leaves a little kiss on my shoulder but I brush it off and pull away leaning in to grab some snacks as she playfully slaps my hand "don't dare you need proper food before junk food" god her tone is serious but playful making me swallow harshly "you're right I'm sorry" she giggles pushing me gently as we start looking for movies I let wanda choose because I don't mind what we watch I just want to be with her.

after an hour Jarvis announces that our food has arrived "ill get it princess" she says as she goes to walk out I chock on air as the word slips past her mouth before I know it she's back with our food and I smile "I'm starving" I say as she agrees with me "me too princess" there it is again the pet name I feel my cheeks turn bright red as I start to eat we eat in a comfortable silence occasionally looking at eachother giggling at nothing after 10 minutes I put my food down shortly followed by wanda"ohhh god I'm so stuffed" I say as I let out a breath wanda almost spits her food out making me look at her with a confused look "are you ok wands" I say putting my hand on her thigh as she nods "it just uhh..it went down the wrong pipe" I giggle and clear the bed before pulling back the covers "wait let me get changed into comfortable clothes do you want some shorts and tee wanda" I say looking at her she smiles and nods after I find clothes I pass wanda shorts that where short and a tee i proceed to go to the bathroom to change into my own Shorts and tee when I walk back into the room I can't take my eyes off her holy shit my eyes run over her body multiple times and my eyes keep getting pulled back to the huge bulge in the shorts that's visible I take my eyes off not wanting to make her uncomfortable I can feel her eyes running over my body as I climb into bed wanda following my lead I can't help but feel excited I'll be able to feel her skin pressed against mine during the whole movie, we press play as wanda pulls me into a hug intertwining our legs I lay on her chest my hand resting on her lower stomach I didn't even notice where I placed it, we cuddle comfortably during the first half of the movie wandas hand is under my tee tickling my back making it hard to concentrate on the movie roughly 10 minutes later a spicy part starts to play making my cheeks heat up oh god I keep my eyes on the screen and let out a low moan as the scene continues to play I feel her pull me closer my leg going over her hips as she does both of us keeping our gaze on the TV as the scene gets hotter making me grip her tee without releasing I've done It I feel something weird right next to my private area at the top of my thigh what is it its hard and fells like it's getting harder...oh fuck she's hard another moan slips past my mouth I fidget a little as the pool of wetness gathers in my panties my eyes are on the TV but attention is very much on the fact wandas hard dick is so close to my vagina I need to cool down I have an internal fight with myself the thought of seeing and feeling her dick becoming more and more my priority

I smirk to myself and shift my body a little so her bulge is pressing right against my pussy making me bite my lip as soon as I shift I hear her moan that only adds to my wetness "careful princess keep moving like that and ill not be able to control myself any longer" she whispers in a low sexy tone as her words hit my ears I let out a whimper as my pussy aches more "I.. I.. I don't know what you mean" I try to act like I didn't know what she meant and before I know it she pulls me fully ontop of her ,her hard cock pressing right into my pussy causing me to let out a louder moan as she grips my hips "be a good girl for me princess and grind that cute little ass" I moan and do as I'm told I start to grind my pussy into her cock harder leaning my head back as the moans fall from my mouth her moans only turning me on more I feel her hand slide up my top grabbing my tits since I took my bra off earlier "fuck princess that feels amazing do you like rubbing your needy little cunt on my cock" she says as she pinches both my nippes at the same time sending curse words flying from my mouth "mmh mhhh fuck yes feels so...fuck so good" I pant as she plays with my nipples she pulls my top over my head and throws it somewhere in the room I lean down putting my hands on her chest to steady myself "gonna cum, please can I cum daddy" she let's out a low growl and bucks her hips adding more pressure "cum for me princess, fuck such a needy little cunt and I've not even touched you yet" I lean my head down as I start to cum screaming her name "fuck wanda so good uh fuckk"

I feel my body shake as my orgasm washes over me wanda holds my waist and grinds slowly riding me through my orgasm as she takes my nipple in her mouth "to much clothes daddy" I whisper as I feel my cheeks heat up she giggles and moves me off her as she stands up I bite my lip watching her instantly seeing the huge wet patch on the shorts I gave her she looks down and then back at me "such a naughty girl look at the mess you made" I nod and think of what to say "your fault" she starts to remove her clothes as I take my shorts and panties off I look back in time to see her remove the shorts and let out a gasp when her cock springs out to action "don't worry princess you'll be able to take it ill be gentle at first" she smirks walking over to me as her dick swings making me moan she grabs my ankles pulling me to the edge of the bed making me yelp in surprise followed by a giggle making her giggle she take a second to admire my naked body "mmmmh princess you're so fucking wet look at this pretty little cunt dripping for me" she gently runs her fingers through my folds as she says it making me moan "please daddy.." I whimper causing her to lean down and kiss me "please what princess "she grins against my lips knowing full well what I want "please fuck me daddy I need you inside me" i breath out my chest rising and falling as she steps closer grabbing her dick rubbing the tip through my wet folds "fuckkkk pl..please" I groan as she teases my entrance "eyes on my princess don't close them I wanna look into those eyes as you cum all over my cock" I nod unable to form words my eyes glued to her eyes as she slowly starts to sink her cock inside me making me grip the bed sheets hard I scream a mixture of pain and pleasure "uh fuck baby so tight your gonna make me cum so fucking hard and way to quick' she bites her lip as her thumb plays with my clit gently only adding to the pleasure she continues to slide inside me slowly till she bottoms out "shh it's OK princess I won't move till you're ready' she wipes my tears from eyes as I nod after a minute i bite my lip "I'm ready wanda" she starts to thrust slowly making us both moan as she leans down to kiss me "you..are...so...fucking...perfect y/n" she groans thrusting a little faster I feel so full but she feels amazing "fa...faster daddy" I pant digging my nails into her back causing her to moan as she thrusts faster and deeper hitting all the right spots making my legs shake uncontrollably "fuckkkk princess"

she picks up her pace putting my legs over her shoulders making me scream as she hits deeper than I thought possible "fuccccccck daddy I'm so ....fucking .....close" I say staring into her eyes only encourages her to go harder and faster "gonna..cu..cum daddy please" i cry out as she continues to fuck me at an animalistic pace my legs shaking as I start to squirt all over her cock causing her to moan loud as she slams deep inside me cumming hard our eyes never leaving one an other "uh fuck" we both moan as she collapses onto my chest kissing my neck "you done so fucking well princess so well " I pull her closer to me hiding my face "can we stay like this cuddled in bed naked I feel so safe when our skins are together" I say feeling instantly embarrassed she smiles and nods "of course baby but I need to clean you up first I wasn't expecting you to be a squirter how many times has it happened' she questions as she walks into the bathroom to get a damp cloth "it's never happened..I've never don't THAT with anyone" I say truthfully as I hide my face, wanda cleans us both up and climbs into bed pulling me closer pressing our bodies together "it makes me happy knowing I was your first princess" she says  kissing my head as I drift off to sleep in her arms with a smile on my face.

AN: hope yall like it as always requests are open remember drink water and stay hydrated people hope yall have a great day/night all feedback welcome, word count is over 2.4k �

[niphredil-14]

Hihi Renza! :D

I was wondering if I could maybe request some tmnt if that's ok! I was wondering if maybe you'd be comfortable writing a headcanon for the 2012 turtles finding out reader's secret of having an otome game obsession (me) ><

I was just kinda wondering what thier reactions would be to like...the honest to goodness library of otome routes both of us have read at some point in time! ><

Hope that's ok! No pressure to write at all! This is only if you're comfortable with it!

Hope you're having the loveliest day, and getting plenty of rest, and receiving some warm happy hugs!!!

Girl I am so sorry that this has taken me so long to get to!

Leonardo:

Leonardo has definitely dabbled in otome games, although I don't see him as having played a whole lot of them. I could see him being a huge fan of Ikemen Sengoku, though. His favorite IkeSen suitor would probably either be Hideyoshi or Sasuke, no you cannot convince me otherwise. I think he would have a loose-liking of Nobunaga but mostly just because he kinda gives Karai vibes (i do not ship Leo/Karai). I can kinda see him kinning Hideyoshi and admiring Sasuke, being more attracted to Nobu. Leo may be taken sightly aback if he realizes just how many otome games you've played. I don't think he would judge you, though. In fact, he might find it fun to play some of the routes with you and share thoughts, almost like an otome version of a book club. I giggle at the though of playing IkeVamp Leo's route and talking to TMNT Leo about IkeVamp Leo (his almost-namesake) and just how they're so different lmao. I NEED TO HEAR HIM VOICE AN OTOME MAN, HAVE YOU HEARD HIM SPEAK??? HE'S GOT THE PERF VOICE

Raphael:

As much as I hc Raph to be such a (secret) sucker for romance media, I feel like he wouldn't really understand or be interested in otome games. He wouldn't seriously judge, but he would tease you for playing so many. He'd joke, saying that you probably like your anime boyfriends more than him, but I think deep down that he would really want the reassurance. If he was gonna like any otome game, it would have to be one here the MC falls in love with a "monster," be that a literal one, in the sense of them just not being human (Like IkeVamp) or in the sense of the LI just having irredeemable qualities/being aggressive/being evil, I think that's the only kind he could really get behind. Any kind of Beauty and the Beast type of story he looovesssss. Because of that I could see him enjoying Ikemen Prince (very lightly, he just likes the comparison to beauty and the beast), but if he were going to get attached to any otome game, it would be Ikemen Vampire. I think Theo would be his kin, and his crush.

Donatello:

No matter how many otome games you've played, I guarantee that this man has played more. And not just otome games, but really any dating sim. The FNaF Dating Sim will always (ironically, mostly because of nostalgia) have a place in his heart, but honestly, I kind of see him being a big fan of MLQC (Lucien is his favorite 100% sweetheart, but also evil scientist? What do you mean it's not Don?) No matter what game he plays, he always either falls for his kinnie, or a woman way out of his league lmao. Without fail. I think he would also be a fan of the Your Boyfriend Dating Sim. It scratches the immoral, fucked up, obsessive part of his brain (my boy just wants someone to love him as much as he loves them :c)

[muchanmocha]

I realized my last post isn't as helpful as it could be considering how strong ALNST hyperfixation is. So here are some strats and suggestions for how to get out of it for the mental health break you need.

If ALNST fandom turmoil is negatively affecting your mental/emotional/physical health, consider:

temporarily deleting whatever app you're using until the end of your break

throw a dart at a board of your hyperfixations and dive back into whichever one it lands on

or revisit an old one — I totally didn't spend the last week binging all of my favorite manga from middle school nope nah never (they were as good as when I first read them)

make plans with someone to get out of the house

make plans with yourself for a self-care day off social media

pick up a new craft — crochet is very fun and you can make alnst-themed potholders when you get back

download a new app game — Arknights is perf for those of you who like exercising your brain

watch all 1000+ eps of One Piece

jk watch all of Natsume Yuujinchou, do it it'll heal your soul

watch hbomberguy's YouTube Plagiarism video the tea is good I promise

binge your entire non-ALNST bookmarks list on AO3

if you don't have non-ALNST bookmarks comment on this post for show/manga/anime recs

Sometimes being good to yourself means minimizing your exposure to things that actively make you upset. It's ok ALNST will still be here when you get back

Good luck and happy prison break!

[blkkizzat]

Hi kali,

GRE studying is going....OK. I was reminded that I SUCCCK at math. Will be working on my critical writing paper starting next week as well as studying. I did not miss this part of school. I'm not going for a phD in writing. Though writing is a big part of it. I am in the arts though. You know my handle just check my blog description if you're curious.

But speaking of PHD....professor Nanami and Professor Geto.

Professor Nanami is low key sexy. He doesn't show off but one time you saw him remove his suit jacket and roll up his sleeves and you about fainted. You're a grad student (Not his grad student- Not even in the same department) so it's not exactly unprofessional for him to date you. And when he asks you out, you can't think of any reason to say no. What you don't expect is to have the time of your life. Nanami is really fun outside of classes. He takes you to a local festival. A one night event. He wins you a stuffed bear and a gold fish. You weren't sure about giving him a kiss when the date first started but by the end of it you have butterflies as you lean up and give him a peck on the cheek. He moves his head though and you end up with a short peck on the lips. It's sweet and hot at the same time. When you guys come out as dating You're the talk of the both your departments.

Professor Geto, however, is in your department. He's not your advisor, though. You see him everywhere. And your conversations are good. Deep and incitful. When he asks you for dinner the last thing you expect is to be fucking him in his car outside the restaurant. You got there early. You were just in his car talking when he leaned over and kissed you. He apologized at first and said he just couldn't help himself. But he knew what he was doing. He gives you these beautiful puppy dog eyes and suddenly your kissing him again. And again. And then you're full on making out. Ten minutes later you've moved to the back of the car. You're glad his windows are tinted because as long as you don't move too much, no one will know that you're getting railed in the back seat of a professor's car. And he does go hard. You hardly notice that the man hasn't bothered to use protection until you're walking into the restaurant (cause he's hungry now), and you feel him leaking out of you. You're glad your dress is long enough that no one can see your legs. You can't even chastise him cause you were both caught in the moment. And you continue to date through graduation. One thing about Suguru is that his ass is stubborn. When he makes up his mind that he wants something, he's going for it. He keeps your ass under lock and key. Everyone knows your dating, though no one will say shit to your face. No one is surprised when a week after graduation, you have a rock on your hand. But you'll never be Mrs. You're Dr and Dr Geto. And Suguru finds it hot!

Respectfully, I needed this - 🧠

🧠 nonny... u may not have figured this out yet...but im slower than thee fuck fjklshfkdjhgkfd. i never figure out who my anons are unless they tell me. u gonna have to let me know fam. msg me 😭😭.

omg these ideas are delicious...

prof nanami, i love how innocent and whimsy it is going on a first date to a festival and him winning you prizes and the kiss was! ahhh im such a slut i would have to fuck him night one but when it comes to be slow courted i wouldnt mind if it was nanami. he wants to let you know what you mean to him and i find that saurrrr cuteee.

prof geto, i also adoreeee because he was wasting NO time lmfao. Dr. & Dr. Geto okfjdhvksdhfvksjdb IMMA SCREAM thats so perf 🥹🥹. also lmfao at him just raw nutting in us day ONE. he definitely knew wtf he was doing. lmfao he didnt even care to ask if we were on the pill just busted fkjhfkjhrsfkjrshbdfj.

also i just had a thot...

we never get prof sukuna and i know in AU people tend to write him as a bad boy/criminal/fuck-up and although he IS a villain he's not a dumb one. he's very smart and intellectual, he just doesn't give a fuck. i think he would teach something like physics. i can see him being an astrophysicist for some reason, ex-NASA (i'd like to think he got fired bc he ended up knocking out an astronaut who thought he knew more than Sukuna cause he's been up in space before and almost jeopardized lives because of it). But prof Sukuna is notorious for being a huge hard ass and making his already insanely difficult classes, due to the subject matter, even harder than they need to be. you, a future astrophysicist in the making, are determined to learn from the best and your cheery disposition is not discouraged by him. in fact you like the challenge and arguing with him. however he IS your adviser which makes the situation a bit more scandalous. especially since it was in one of your advisory meetings where one minute you were arguing about your thesis topic and the next you are spread out on his desk, your thesis papers everywhere and Sukuna's head between your legs. but you don't get caught. if anything, once you do start dating Sukuna is harder on you. he wants you to succeed but he wont coddle you, he'll critique you more—expect perfection from you. However he will be there to tutor you and take you on special field trips. He knows the person who runs the observatory near campus and gets a special private viewing for you when conditions are clear and you can see the pretty gaseous clouds from the next galaxy from the powerful hub telescope.... all while seated so pretty on his cock. He'll rub slow tortuous circles on your clit with his rough thumb while he making you list various constellations and quizzing you on basic chemical composition of stars and planets—which you would usually spout off flawlessly but when he is making you see your own stars as your eyes cross into the back of your head there's no way you could focus on the ones in the sky. now i kinda wanna write professor sukuna kfhdadskjfhaskjf.

[garglyswoof]

I was inspired by @push1na 's amazing klaroline version of Klimt's The Kiss and so wrote a ficlet inspired by it This is me writing on my phone in an airport lounge so hopefully it comes out ok <3

--+++--

They come for him while the blooms are still bright, trampling them beneath an army of bootheels, and it's another point against them.

Because she loves the flowers, and he will have to get his minions to replant them when he crushes this threat. He often uses her own words, thrown at him with such vitriol years ago, just to see her eyes roll and barely hide the smile behind. But she's not here with him now. She is safe, he reassures himself.

It's only been a few years with her and he is greedy for a thousand of them. Last month he'd approached her here in this yard, in the suit she'd insisted he wear “for nostalgia reasons, obviously” with the blooms flowering their riotous colors in the golden light of sunset, and kissed her cheek as she stared at him with something that made his heart kick in his chest like a prey animal.

It was terrifying and joyous and his greedy, greedy heart cannot get enough.

He told her so, just a few days before, when he'd learned of this new vampire threat and sent her off to New Orleans despite her furious protests. He couldn't put it into words at the time, that losing her would break him worse than the hunter’s curse ever had. That to touch her was one thing, but to hear her spitfire words only made this stutter step in his heart worse. Instead he’d merely said ‘I need to keep you safe,’ and he knows it wasn't enough. 

He would enjoy his acts of contrition, truth be told, tangled in the sheets with his mouth tracing patterns on her skin.

The wind picks up then, ruffling his hair like it did her dress that golden-tinged summer evening, but this time it carries the scent of vampires instead of Caroline’s own. He keeps his pose casual, hands clasped behind his back, walking back towards the house and avoiding the wildflowers underfoot.  Let them think him clueless and weak, it made their destruction taste almost as sweet as the notes of jasmine in Caroline’s perf-

“No.”

“Yes,” she replies, and he looks up at her, standing in the doorway, her sundress abloom with flowers to match the yard, and his greedy heart thumps.

“They're almost here,.love. If I - if I,” he can't even say it, as if speaking the words could manifest them. He feels the impotent rage rise up, knows his next words will push her away.

Her hand cups his shoulder.and squeezes before he can betray himself. “I know.  But you won't. And you can't ask me to stay away when you're the one in danger. So you're just gonna have to learn to trust me. Plus you just gave me that fancy mini fridge and Im spoiled by how good the wine setting keeps blood at the perfect temperature.”

He grumbles at this, because he doesn't get her choice of diet when she could have it fresh from the tap, but he takes the hand at his shoulder, admiring the glint of sun off of some ancient queen’s ring he'd bestowed upon Caroline, you’ll forgive him for not remembering who, and kisses the palm of her hand, her wrist. 

Her intake of breath is a revelation, as it always is, that she is just as affected as he is. It makes him think that perhaps this madness that takes hold of his greedy heart isn't one-sided. He hoards her gasps like jewels in a dragon’s den. 

The thought steels him and his eyes are wild as he turns to face the onrush that he knows is upon them. Her hand stays clasped in his own, for a moment, and if he has the brief thought of never letting go, it is one borne of a poet’s thoughts that he’ll remember for later, when the path of his brush traps their moments together.

The sun descends, but she still shines to him, monster’s visage above the blooms of her dress, the neckline covered in blood, her hand clutching a still-beating heart. He only has a moment to appreciate her, his brilliant blonde distraction, before he turns back to the fray.

[hedwig123]

A Subjective Definitive Ranking of the DQ Dragons

7. Honora. Fuck you you green bitch I'm glad Jasmine yelled at you you selfish hypocritical fucknugget

6. Hopian. Literally 0 lines but that's better than being a BITCH (also gets a pity vote because Lief was just fully going to leave him sleeping forever before he figured out the Hira thing??? I feel like we don't talk about that enough???????)

5. Joyeu. Kind of an icon for revealing the whole "two sides to every story" plot twist about those Capricon dickheads (and like 1 page after you think you're finally done with DQ's plot twists, too). Thought she was a guy until literally yesterday when I randomly saw her called "she" on the wiki though

4. Fidelis. Good dude. Ate some finger-eaters. Hometown advantage of being from Del. Also has an advantage of showing up to be nice and impressive and ominous a whole series early, good for him.

3. Second place is a close race, OK, it's a very close race between the ladies with the similar names, but I am gonna give third place to Fortuna. Forget chaos goblin it's all about the chaos dragon babyyyyy I love her so much she's here for a good time not a long time

2. Forta. SPARKLY BABY DRAGON I DON'T CARE IF SHE'S TOO YOUNG TO HAVE A PERSONALITY HER PERSONALITY IS BABY

The extremely obvious winner:

VERITAS

What can I even say about him?? That he's my favorite character in the whole series besides Lief? That he regularly drops iconic quotes like "only fools refuse to see the faults in those they love" which has been etched in my brain for the last 20 years? That he spends 10 days getting gradually crushed to death and still manages to recover enough to get shit done? That him staying in Diamond territory to raise Forta is the DRAGON EQUIVALENT OF ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR TROPES IN MODERN MEDIA, GRUMPY OLD MAN PSEUDO-ADOPTS PLUCKY GIRL? That he's SPARKLY AND PURPLE????

VERITAS IS PERF PASS IT TF ON

[toomuchracket]

happy thanksgiving today i am thinking about d word matty at family gatherings… playing with the little ones before dinner, insisting on doing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen and letting mom relax as much as possible…. im so soft

awwwww ok yeah it's your turn to have everyone over for a holiday dinner (choose ur own lol) and naturally lyla (6) and alex (5) are quite hyper; so's matty, actually, lmao. and i think he tries to get the kids to actually help out before everyone arrives - setting the table, tidying most of their toys away, stirring whatever it is you've got on the stove (he lifts alex up to let him do this lol) - but actually the three of them zooming around the kitchen is more of a hindrance than a help to you; matty clocks that without you saying, though, so he's like "come on, babies, we'll go and play in the living room for a bit, yeah?", and alex is like "but we need to help mummy!", bless him. you kiss his little head like "no, go and have fun! you can come and get me when nana gets here, though, so i can say hello", and he nods seriously before he and his sister scoot off to the living room - once they're off, you quickly kiss matty like "thank you, baby", and he's like "s'alright, darling. i'll come back through in a bit to see if you need me", proper grinning, and you smirk back like "if i need your help?", and matty's like "...yes. or just me in general. whatever". you're like "ok, but if you come through here thinking you'll get kisses and i actually make you help me mash potatoes, you can't complain", and he's like "i won't! i like spending time with you. i don't care what we're doing"; you're like "simp", and he's like "and proud of it!" before the kids start shouting on him lol. anyway, matty's very sweet and dilfy the whole day: you can hear him making the kids laugh from the other room and it's so heartwarming; he helps with dinner, kissing your head casually before carrying plates to the table; he sits with alex on his lap after dessert, hugging his boy while he tries not to fall asleep whilst simultaneously having a convo with both lyla and his mum. and he's INSISTENT on being the one to tidy up and do the dishes because "you went to all the effort of making dinner, darling, just relax" - he brings you a glass of wine or a cuppa, whatever you want, clears and washes all the dishes, bathes the kids and gets them ready for bed (story and all), and rolls his eyes when denise takes the piss out of him for being so domesticated lmao. but it's a lovely day/night, the relaxation continuing after the rest of the family have left; you fall asleep on the couch that night, with your head in matty's lap and him playing with your hair, and you wake up in your own bed curled into his chest, because he carried you upstairs so you wouldn't be all achy when you woke up. he's kinda perf <3

[wenjunting]

finally watched asy! (many, many) spoilers under cut :)

"mr. rain" sorry i laughed (RAINISM hello...)

everyone in the live comments going "where is zhengting" is so me. WHERE is zhengting.

is behind the scenes seriously paid content...

double albert grp vocalists are good! although as a wayv stan i have mixed feelings abt the perf 😓

albert (aihe) deep voice. Wow. actually tbh i think his styling wasn't great this ep :/

albert (ai yukun) being sick... like xiao gui in idolpro... ouch

tan yitian's grp is called "running to the canteen"?? ok wait their chef concept is lowkey funny

"xiaotian feed me" LIN ZHANSHUO YOU ARE SO REAL. tan yitian is So good-looking but i have no idea who he is.

they're pretty consistent! i think overall better than the other grp + their opening was honestly fire // oh yay they won!!

KENNY HAD A BROKEN ANKLE THE WHOLE TIME?? that's crazy omg

纯爱战士 (first one and only grp) are so energetic n zhong junyi is so confident (i... don't know who he is either)

their group is quite 稳 like they're talented but they def did not pick the right song 😭 it's ok. they can be cool later on

OH zhong junyi is under tao's company. ok makes sense

magic cube fits the concept better! wang muqing is cute 不愧是乐华的 (my yuehua bias is popping out apologies)

THE RETURN OF RAIN'S DAD (wang kun)

"is it that you're confident alone? when you're together you lose confidence?" CHENG XIAO SKDHSJ 😭😭 someone needs to save boyhood from her and zt i swear (yuehua family!!) + part 2 of the boyhood not wanting e/o anym saga,, guo dianjia is so funny

"my nose was leaking into my mouth" STOP. STOP WHY WLD YOU SAY THIS. // mentor's advice abt not letting it disturb him was v good actually

the guy w the cold jokes... YANJUN... live comments agree w me i miss him :(

i just rly like lydia as a song

ZHAO TIANYI!! hi!! genius kid!!

second lydia group is slaying honestly. it's a slay. that high note was epic. they seem so put together too

"if it's about talent our group wld win" Uh... the trainees are getting sm braver honestly

my top 3!!! ollie!! jiang xinxi!! li quanzhe!! let's GO!!!!!! // i don't recognise most of the others LMAO. yin junlan is not the yuehua i was expecting (uh guo dianjia maybe). where is lin zhanshuo. why are aihe and zhao tianyi so low. i am BROKE youku!!! i am broke!!!!!

[ellecdc]

ELLEEE CONGRATS ON 2K LOVE!!! kicking my legs for u fr

could i get a matchup??? my fav color is def pink and like i also like yellow but only when it’s paired w pink, then i wish i could say my fav pastime isn’t making floral arrangements bc it’s my job but like it’s literally so fun (sometimes) and the fact that i get PAID FOR IT ugh perf i need to start doing it outside of work AND THEEEEN my fav animal eek this is hard i love cats ofc, but i also love bears and also bunnies!!!!!

OK so I need a florist AU fic stat, that's so fucking cute.

Okay, that's it - I ship you with James and/or Lily.

You're bright, bubbly, energetic but in an understated way. You're creative which Lily would love because it's a sign of intelligence and she'd look at floral arrangements like a puzzle, and it would be sooooo fun and such a good outlet for James. And I think I shared a headcanon that Lily would totally have a pet cat and/or bunny!!

thanks for playing babes <3

[fatbiatchforever]

Out of Time (Pt. 5)

This is super long but I had to. Everything felt like an absolute necessity. Sorry guys.

Were you embarrassed by the kind of role model you were becoming for your son? YES! But, honestly, you needed the alcohol to keep your mind from spiraling out of control. That's why Riley's birthday was a blur at the end.

You were cleaning the kitchen when the phone rang, "Yo."

"Hey Y/N."

"Oh, hey Cass! What's up?"

"Can we come over? We got this new game and it's soooo cool. Xander needs to play it."

You laughed, "Come over. Why are you even asking?"

"She said yes! Can we go now?" Cass shouted.

You heard the phone being passed around till Sam was on the line, "Heyyyyyy."

"Hey, what's happening?"

"They want to come over."

"Okay, come over then."

Sam lowered his voice, "There's a tiny detail that I'm not sure about."

"What?"

"So I have some work to care of-"

"Ok, I can look after Riley and the boys."

"I got them a baby sitter."

"Cool."

"Right, but I need to leave right now. So, the baby sitter would have to drop them off."

You were getting a tiny bit agitated at this point, "Sam, I'm failing to see the problem over here."

"You know the baby sitter."

"Great, I have company while the kids have fun. What's the issue?"

"The company. I don't think you'll be a fan."

"Nooooooo-"

"Yessssssss."

"Sam! Really?!"

"Y/N, I tried. The boys wouldn't stop bothering me. You should have known something was wrong when Cass asked if he could come over!" Sam whisper yelled, "We're not civilized like that!"

"I can't believe you! How the," you lowered your voice, "fuck did you get Bucky to babysit?"

"It's an emergency. He offered and I said yes! I didn't know the boys would start this. If you think about it, it's their fault."

"You. Are. Unbelievable. He's there right now, isn't he?"

"Mhmmm."

"I'm going to kill myself."

"I'll give the phone back to Cass. Just say something came up and you can't do today."

"But he would know."

"Nah, Cass believes everything."

"No, Bucky!"

"What about him?"

"Cass announced I said yes. Since you're speaking in a lower voice, he knows we're talking about him and probably listening to our conversation because of that damn serum. He would know I'm saying no because of him."

"And it matters?"

"Yeah! I don't want him to think I can't face him."

"But you cannot?"

"Excuse me! I can!"

"Then it's settled. Bucky will be there with the kids in few."

You were dead serious, "Sam,"

"Yeah?"

"If I get to know that all of you are planning something behind my back, I swear on my kid, that shield will split your head in two. Am I clear?"

"Sweet Jesus! We're not planning anything."

"Fine."

You wanted to smash the phone on the counter. You knew you would have to face him again. Especially, since he's back now. But the thought of him coming to your home felt like a lot.

"Xander," you walked inside his room, "Cass, AJ and Riley are coming over. Could you please clean up a bit?"

He stood up and jumped, "Yes! I can show them my new toys ma!"

You sat on the ground and looked at his drawing book, "Uhuh. What are you drawing?"

He picked it up and weaseled his way into your lap. You laughed and moved your hands so he could sit comfortably, "You're lucky you're cute."

He pointed to the drawing, "That's me. And that's you." 

"Wowwww!"

"I'm a super hero and I'm strong enough to pick you up and save you from the monsters."

"You look handsome." You kiss his hair and hug him tighter. 

Xander whined, "Ma, you're messing the drawing!"

"Oops. I love this. You're my favorite superhero for sure."

"Really?" He turned his cute, small face towards yours.

"Hell yeah! And it's only fair my favorite superhero's artwork is displayed right. Xander, could I please display this marvelous piece of art on our fridge?"

With that he zoomed off to the kitchen. You followed him into the kitchen, where you found him standing infront of the refrigerator.

"Any idea where?"

"In the middle." He pointed. You took the paper from him and placed the drawing in the middle, "Perfection."

"Perfection." He repeated.

"Xander, your room. Please?"

The bell rang. 

You felt it in your stomach. You frowned internally as Xander happily ran to the door. You dragged your feet to the door and looked down at him,

"Saved by the bell."

You opened the door and that feeling intensified by million. But this time it was different. It was like you had butterflies. Similar the ones you had the first time you met him. Maybe because he looked the way you met him the first time. The short hair, the stubble, the dark blue shirt with his leather jacket, the faded black skinny jeans and that small smile on his face. Riley and the baby bag were additions that made him look soft and some might say even hotter. Not to mention, he was looking at you too. That made your stomach form infinite knots. 

You cleared your throat and looked down at Xander leaping on the boys to give hugs. 

"Hey guys!"

"Hey Y/N!" Both of them replied. Riley cooed in his arms.

"Oh my god!" Xander screamed.

You looked at him, "What?"

"Ma THAT'S BUCKY!"

Yep, you're four year old son had finally recognized his favorite superhero. Was it a big fuck you when Xander deemed Bucky his favorite out of every avenger? Yes, Sam took it the hardest though. Now that Bucky looked similar to every toy he has out there, it would be a miracle if he didn't get tackled by kids.

Bucky looked shocked but you knew he would enjoy it. It annoyed you a bit. Why was he put on a pedestal when you were there since day one? You didn't leave. 

You knew that wasn't fair, but you weren't in the mood to be rational.

Xander moved really close to Bucky and looked up, "Can I fight aliens with you?"

"Xander, let them breathe, huh?"

Bucky smiled, "We can talk about it."

Xander shrieked again and turned to you, "YES! I'm going to smash everyone."

"Okay hulk. Boys, come in."

All three ran to Xander's room.

"Heyyyy Riley." You took her and bounced on your hips, "You're literally cutest kid ever."

She giggled as you continued to bounce her on your hips. You looked at him again. He was smiling till he noticed you looking at him and cooled it down.

"Hey."

"Hey, sorry for bothering you."

"They're welcome anytime."

Bucky nodded and handed you the bag, "Call me when they're done and I'll pick them up."

"I don't have your number."

"Oh,"

You internally groaned again, "Do you want to come in and wait?"

He wasn't expecting that, "uhm," you could see the struggle on his face, "I, Uhm- okay."

You walked in with Riley. You turned back to watch Bucky awkwardly step in and close the door.

You whispered, "Do you like him? It's okay if you don't Riri."

You handed Xander's figurine to her and placed her on the counter.

"Do you want anything to drink? Coffee?"

Bucky stopped ogling every corner of your living room and looked at you, "You drink coffee?" 

"Nooo." You laughed, "Do you really think I can take that?"

"With a cup of sugar and a drop of coffee, I still see you complaining." He stood behind the counter. Exactly behind Riley, you noticed.

"Mhm, so is that a yes?"

"Yeah." Bucky pulled Riley closer to him, so you could move.

"You don't drink coffee but you have a coffee machine?"

You grabbed a mug, "Adrian. He "gifted" it to me. A lousy excuse for him to have coffee when he's here."

"Oh."

You looked back at that Oh. As if he was annoyed by what you said.

Riley's cries grabbed both of yours attention. The panic on Bucky's face stifled a laugh in you. You picked Riley up and smelled the problem.

"Damn. Let's get you out of that."

You looked at confused Bucky, "Could you get me the bag?"

He shook his head and grabbed the bag instantly.

"There should be this flower mat kinda thing. Could you lay that out?"

You laid Riley on the mat, "On the side, there's a blue troll. Hand me that please?"

He looked at you for confirmation before passing it to you.

"Here you go Riri." 

"Get me the wipes and the powder."  

Bucky handed you everything as you asked him to. You did steal few glances at him. He looked at everything you were doing so intently. Doing everything you asked of him. You knew where this was going and you stopped yourself from feeling all of that.

"And voila. Riri is a happy baby again."

Bucky stepped in to hold Riley as you threw the diaper away.

"Thanks do- Y/N."

FUCK NO! He wasn't.

"F-For?"

"For being there. To change her diaper."

"Oh, I had the fortune to change a lot of diapers on my own. So, I know the drill."

Bucky looked away, "Right."

"You were great. I'm sure you'll get it soon."

"Yeah, if I have you right beside me every time."

Your eyes spoke panic and his spoke panic. But, comfort. What he said radiated comfort. Fuck, this radiated comfort. Four years ago Y/N would have swooned at how domestic this was. But that was four years ago Y/N. Right?

"Bucky?"

Both of you looked away and looked at the source.

"Yeah?"

"Can I show you my kick move?" Xander asked.

"Xander, let-"

"Of course."

"Let's go."

Bucky turned to you. You took Riley from him, "Thanks. He loves you and he's just excited."

"Anytime."

———

After Xander tried to convince Bucky to let him come to his next fight, everyone hurdled in front of the TV to play the new game. Riley was crawling around as the boys taught Bucky how to play.

You knew all of this wasn't right. But, it felt like old times- watching AJ and Cass teach Bucky to play their new games. This was even better because, UGH you didn't want to admit, but seeing Bucky interact with Xander was... cute. And not to mention Riley occasionally trying to steal Bucky's attention was extra cute.

You were having an internal fight. Whether you should allow yourself to feel or not?

"Y/N?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Here's your coffee."

Bucky sat down and took a sip. That smile again.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Come on."

"It's different."

"I added a spoon of sugar. Do you need more?"

"No. I mean, it's different when you make it. In a good way."

Your cheeks heated up, so you turned back to look at anything else.

"So, how's life back?"

"I found a place."

"The while is getting longer then."

"Mhm."

You took the plate out and the rolls from the fridge.

"When you moving in?"

"I moved in."

"Damn." You placed two on the plate, "You've got everything, right?"

You clicked on 30 seconds and turned back.

"Yeah."

"More than a mattress and a tv?"

He huffed, "Yes Y/N." 

"Good good."

You took the plate out and dumped heaves of cream cheese. He liked it like that. You kept the plate in front of him, "Cinnamon rolls anyone?"

The boys didn't even bother replying to you.

"That's a no."

"They're missing out. You made this?" He ate as if someone would take it away from him in next ten seconds.

You smiled, "Yeah."

"I missed your baking."

You laughed, "Thanks." 

Then, it settled. What he just said.

"Can I ask you something?"

You nodded.

"How old is Xander?"

"Four."

You could see the gears turning in his head. You laughed, "I popped him out the minute you dipped."

Bucky immediately tensed up, "Y/N."

"Oh, NO. Nope. No, I adopted Xander."

"Oh," 

"Yeah."

"Why? I mean,"

You shrugged, "I was where I wanted to be work wise and I felt like I was ready for my family. So, I looked into the process. A year later, I had my kid. When I started it, I never thought something would happen. But having him in my arms was the most realest thing I've ever felt."

Bucky smiled, openly at that, "He's amazing."

"Yeah. My best impulsive decision ever."

"Are you, Uhm, you know." 

You raised your eyebrows, "I don't."

"Y/N,"

"What? Tell me."

"Are you with someone?"

"Nope. Are you?"

"Nope."

"Cool cool cool cool cool. Why?"

He shrugged and looked back to check on Riley, "No reason."

"Are we ever going to talk about what happened?"

[starburstfloat]

ok ok i’m rly late to watching their VMA perf bc i was out all day but oh my god they KILLED IT!!!

their presence was so powerful and the michael jackson influence was *chef’s kiss* they did so well!! IMO soogyu’s vocals work rly well for this type of song and i wish that could have been captured better in this stage :( that said, the camerawork was much better here!!

and can we talk about the styling and overall creative direction too??? something is definitely up with all the rain elements for tnc: freefall 🤨 loved the whole undressing/shoulder exposure going on — it’s def still following the whole maturity arc they got going on — a teasing kind of sensuality that works so well for them. such a delicate balancing act that they nail every time

you were right that the anitta interaction could have been spicier — we’ve seen the anitta solo perf behind vid with all her dancers grinding about!! Let them use their hips!! 🗣️

overall the boys did amazing and local twt is going crazy for them too 🥹 and i’m waiting impatiently for the song’s official release, and i’m sure i’m not the only one!!

Same here I've been so busy that I haven't found the time to properly sit down and analyze it but first off YES I agree their stage presence was excellent and I also loved the Michael Jackson vibes! I loved how confident they looked and sounded. The choice to have beomgyu and soobin stay in a lower register was perfect!!

Also idk who the performance director is but I want to personally thank them for giving beomgyu the coolest intro ever!!! Like!!!! Can we talk about how epic that was?!!!

That organ music opening with the thunder and lightning better be on the official track. Goosebumps everytime!

I hadn't even considered how the stage elements tie into the narrative arc of tnc but you're right that the rain and storm are probably indicative of where their story is going. I wonder what track position back for more will be on the album because if it's the first one it would tie well together with farewell neverland, of them having jumped and fallen but perhaps hitting a storm. I'm so hyped to see the track progression on this album and do more analysis! Again, whoever is the creative director here: I WANT YOUR JOB literally such a dream

In terms of anitta's part though yeah we really could have upped the spice 🙈 I mean. We all know what she's capable of. I think I was expecting more of an interactive choreo element with her but it was obvious that they've prepared choreography that would work well without her bc obviously they can't always perform this with her. Having said that I wonder who will replace her part in the live version at their concerts? 👀

Overall I'm with you on the reaction though; they killed it and seeing the locals go "damn didn't know these kpop boys were that good" is such an ego boost hahaha anywho~!! More rambles to come as the mv drops! Hope you're having a good week 😘

[papermint-airplane]

So, Angel...

Angel: Yes, Your Magnificence?

Ugh. Don't call me that. How do you think you did in the challenge?

Angel: Oh, I wouldn't presume to know. After all, your judgement is the most holy, ineffably perf--

Ok ok, geez, stop sucking up already. You're not going to get any special treatment, so knock it off.

Angel: I was just--I understand, Watcher. I will do my best to be silently faithful to you.

Yeah, please make the 'silent' part of that a priority. Anyway, you did fine. You were on the bull for 8.7 seconds, the second highest time of the group. So...yeah...good...good job, I guess.

Angel: *begins quietly hyperventilating with a big stupid grin on her face*

You ok?!

Angel: *nods and happily skips out of the room without a word*

I really need to have a word with the casting department. Of all the Sims in all the worlds, did they really have to pick a religious nutjob? Still...maybe I can use her devotion to my advantage...

Eleanor: What are you muttering about? Are you scheming?

Gah, when did you get here?! 😱

[Beginning] [Previous] [Next]

[gibmb]

In a new skin chapter 2

Chloe was certain that this was Hell and that the Devil had a sense of humor. She went out of her way to prevent an akuma and wouldn't you know it, someone else got akumatized! And guess what? It was probably her fault this time too, if she knew her luck. Chloe sighed as she kept her back pressed against the door to keep it shut.

“This is just great,” she muttered to herself before daring to open the door slightly to peek out and see a student get captured in a picture by the akuma. She frowned, “Is it the photographer? What the hell happened while we were gone?”

“I don't know but I don't think I want my picture taken by him if that makes you feel better,” Juleka said, peeking out with Chloe before they eased the door closed. “I guess I am a jinx aft-” before she could finish Chloe put her hand on her shoulder

“Listen, after this is over I'll take your picture, or hell, I'll paint a portrait of you. And if something tries to stop me, bad luck or no, we'll see how it fares against me. Right now though, we've got an akuma out there and we’re trapped in a bathroom with one exit and Ladybug is not here yet,” Chloe said, looking around the restroom.

The restroom was simple with a few stalls and sinks. It wasn't until she spotted the high windows in the back.

"There, we’ll use a window to esca-" Chloe was about to say but heard a student call for help from the courtyard and froze. Was she really going to run away? She didn't have powers but would she be any different from her old self if she just abandoned those kids out there? She looked to Juleka, who was waiting for her to finish speaking, then she straightened her posture. “I'll help you up to a window and you'll go find help, ok?”

Juleka looked to the windows and back to her.

“What about the others?” Juleka asked, worried slightly and shaking after they heard another scream outside.

“I'll try and find that out while you get help. After all, I'm the loudest. I should be able to make his ears bleed and while he's busy chasing after me, the others can get to safety until Ladybug arrives,” Chloe said with a confident smile but Juleka looked at her like she was truly crazy. Before she could speak, Chloe started moving her towards the window. “No time to argue so up and out the window for you.”

“But what if something worse happens?” Juleka asked in a shaky tone once they were at the window. Chloe stood in front of it and crouched to give her something to stand on.

“Then something bad happens, but right now isn't the time to discuss this. Now up you go,” Chloe said in a stern tone, looking at Juleka with a gaze she often used on her most defiant students, which had been mainly all of them. It worked as Juleka took a moment before nodding and climbing up, placing her foot on Chloe's hands and Chloe helped push her up. Once Juleka was up and out the window Chloe dusted off her hands.

“I promise I'll be back quickly, ok? Don't do anything stupid!" Juleka said from the other side before going quiet. “Well stupider than what you're about to do.” With that Chloe could hear Juleka running off. Chloe let out a sigh of relief before making her way to the door and opening it to the madness on the other side as students ran around in terror while others disappeared in a flash by Picture Perfect.

“Well Chloe, you said you'd distract him, time to do your best.” She ran towards the area where the akuma was and once she was close enough, “Are you that pathetic? I mean really? Just cause two kids weren’t in your shoot that you couldn't even get right, you go full akuma? That's just sad."

At that, the akuma turned to look in her direction, giving her a good look at him. It was definitely the photographer and he had been transformed into a black suited figure with a camera lens in the center of his right palm and the flash from his camera in his left. He frowned deeply at Chloe as he hovered in the air.

"Kids? There were no kids missing! It was a bird! It ruined my perfect shot! So now I, Picture Perfect, will give everyone," he held up his hand with the camera lens, "a perfect shot!" He laughed before pointing his palm at Chloe, making her yelp and dive to the side as he took a photo capturing the door and some of the wall behind her. “Hey, stay still! You look like you'd take great photos!” He laughed as he tried to take another photo of her. She fled from his shots, watching items or chunks of the building disappear into photographs, all the while she was cursing in her head.

"Well it's gonna suck for you, cause I'd rather let a homeless blind man take my picture before I let you!” She heard him yell in anger before she dove for cover in the science classroom on the ground floor. She quickly crawled for the teacher’s desk on the raised dais in the room, spurred on by the akuma’s approaching footsteps. She tried to still her heaving chest as he checked inside, his steps around the class getting closer.

"Come on out miss, I swear I'll give you a picture you'll never forget. You'll never ask for another ever again,” he said with smug malice. As his feet drew closer to the desk, she held her breath, readying herself to bolt for the door.

“Hey discount photobooth! You missed someone! I guess that's two shots you've ruined!" someone yelled from the entrance and Chloe recognized the voice of Alix, a punky tomboy in her class. Alix started running the moment Picture Perfect turned to chase after her, his feet stomping loudly as he left. Chloe waited for a moment before poking her head out.

"What is wrong with that girl?" Chloe breathed out

"I could ask you the same thing?" Chloe jumped, looking to her side to find the poppy red haired girl beside her.

"Wait, but how did you-?" Chloe looked at Alix in confusion.

"Yeah, he's not that smart. The moment he shot out of the class I got Kim to nail him with one of his shoes, so now he's after him while I get you out of here. But first, what is wrong with you?" Alix said, waving her arms about. "I get you like the attention but you are trying to get yourself killed? Or is this some crazy cry for attention? Everyone else got out but here you are pissing him off!" she sighed and looked out the door.

They could hear Picture Perfect ranting as he tried to catch Kim. Chloe was worried that despite Kim’s athleticism, he would get caught. She was about to get up and go outside but Alix grabbed her wrist and Chloe turned to look at her with a stern glare that made Alix pause before giving herself a shake and gathering her resolve.

"Just stay here! Ladybug will be here soon and she will fix everything. No offense, but I don't think someone as pampered as you can stop him or do much more than annoy him," Alix chided but Chloe pulled her hand free and quietly made her way to the door. She ignored the angry looks Alix shot her and witnessed Picture Perfect catch Kim in a photo, trapping him before he went looking for more students. Chloe motioned for Alix to hide as she took a deep breath.

"HEY LOSER! YOU MISSED ME! " she shouted, getting him to turn towards her. She bolted the moment the words left her lips, hoping to lead him deeper into the school but a voice surprised her and stopped her dead in her tracks.

"Juleka? Chloe? Are you here?"

Chloe turned to see that Rose hadn't left with the others but instead had gone looking for her and Juleka and was just exiting the bathroom. Chloe's heart sank at the sight of the petite blonde looking around desperately but when Picture Perfect turned to look at Rose, readying his camera hand to catch her in a photo.

"Rose, run now!" Chloe shouted. Her body lurched as she started to run for the other girl, reaching her hand out in a futile attempt to warn her as Picture Perfect was about to snap his shot. A textbook soared through the air past Chloe and she glanced back to see Alix standing in the doorway of the science classroom, her focus on the book she had thrown.

The book hit Picture Perfect’s arm with enough force to make him spin and his hand went up as his power went off. Chloe’s eyes widened in horror as one of the two tethers holding the basketball hoop in the courtyard disappeared into a photo, causing the hoop and backboard to swing down like an athletically themed blade, right towards Rose.

“No!” Chloe screamed, her voice cracking as panic and terror welled up inside her until it felt like time slowed around her. It didn’t change anything as Rose turned from Picture Perfect to the basketball hoop, her brilliant blue eyes widening in fear.

The thunderous crash of the hoop made Chloe wince but she still ran towards Rose, heedless of Picture Perfect’s threatening presence. There was a small cloud of dust that had been kicked up from the crash and Chloe tripped over debris as she ran into it while she searched for Rose, ready to drag her out from under the fallen object. She hissed as she felt a stinging pain down her arm and saw a splintered piece of wood as scored a long red line along her forearm. She pushed the pain aside as she looked for Rose. Amazingly, Rose was nowhere to be found and Chloe found herself dizzy with relief and confusion.

“Chloe,” a voice called out to her in a loud whisper and she looked to see Rose standing by the lockers, nearly two whole meters away from the debris.

“How-?” Chloe began to ask before maniacal laughter reminded her of the looming danger of Picture Perfect. She rose and spun back to face him and found he had her dead-to-rights. There’d be no dodging at this distance.

“Smile for the camera,” Picture Perfect said wickedly before a red yoyo with black dots wrapped around his arm and yanked him off his feet.

Ladybug swung down from above, using Picture Perfect as a counterbalance to come down and scoop Chloe up to carry her away to the far side of the courtyard. Chloe couldn’t help being stunned, even after everything she’d been through, the sight of Ladybug still filled her awe but now there was an undercurrent of guilt at seeing her old hero again. She quickly righted herself and pushed herself out of Ladybug’s arms, surprising Ladybug and causing her to frown, which made Chloe flinch in shame.

“T-thank you Ladybug. I think I’d be a picture in a scrapbook if you hadn't shown up,” she tried to say appreciatively but Ladybug continued to frown before sighing.

“What do you think you were doing?” Ladybug asked as she crossed her arms.

“I was distracting him so the others could get away. You weren’t here yet and he was capturing people, so I took it upon myself to help them,” Chloe said. She tried not to sound so timid but there was a nagging thought in the back of her head that this situation was still somehow her fault. “I mean what else was I supposed to-” She was cut off as Ladybug raised her hand.

“Chloe, you're not a hero,” Ladybug said in a stern, lecturing tone that made Chloe straighten up. “You don't have any powers and you could have been seriously hurt-”

“I hate to interrupt your little talk, m’Lady, but we should probably see to our friend here,” Cat Noir called out, making them both turn to see that he was fighting Picture Perfect with his staff, knocking the akuma’s hands aside to keep him from using his powers.

“Chloe, get somewhere safe,” Ladybug commanded before she threw her yoyo and swung up to the roof of the school. “Hey Picture Perfect! Let’s go someplace more scenic for a real photo op!”

“Come back here!” Picture Perfect shouted as Cat Noir followed Ladybug with his extending staff and the two of them led the villain away.

Chloe’s knees gave out as quiet descended over the courtyard and the rush of adrenaline that had fueled her passed.

“Chloe!”

Chloe looked up to see Rose rushing towards her. The smaller girl knelt beside Chloe and began looking her over frantically.

“Are you ok? I thought I heard you cry out after the basketball hoop came crashing down,” Rose said, though clearly she was still too rattled to notice the ugly scratch running down Chloe’s arm.

Chloe quickly pulled her sleeve down to hide the injury. There was no need to panic the other girl more than she already was.

“I’m fine. How are you ok? I was certain that backboard was going to take you out,” Chloe said as the memory replayed in her head. She was even more certain as she thought about it.

“Me too!” Rose said, her voice climbing so high it was almost a squeak. “One second it was coming right for me and the next I was nearly halfway back to the bathroom. Maybe I jumped back without realizing it?”

Chloe felt that reasoning was dubious but she didn’t have a better answer at the moment. Before she could puzzle over it more, another voice called out to them.

“Rose! Chloe!”

They both looked to see Juleka running down the entranceway stairs towards them. She enveloped Rose in a hug before surprising Chloe by reaching an arm out to bring her into the hug as well.

“I’m so glad you’re both ok!” Juleka said softly.

“Juleka!” Rose cried out happily. “I was so worried about you. You wouldn’t believe how brave Chloe was facing off against that akuma.”

“I bet I have an idea,” Juleka murmured as she pulled back and gave Chloe an appreciative look.

Before anymore could be said a swirling storm of ladybugs swept through the area, restoring those who had been trapped in photos as well as repairing the damage caused by Picture Perfect. A cheer went up at the sign that Ladybug and Cat Noir had won the day again.

Juleka and Rose both stood and offered their hands to Chloe to help her up. She took them and winced as pain shot down her arm.

‘The scratch is still there?!’ Chloe thought to herself. ‘How? Ladybug’s magic always fixes everything that results from the akuma’s attack.’

“Is everything ok, Chloe?” Rose asked, bringing Chloe back into the moment.

She managed a small smile and nodded, “Yeah, I just hope we’re finally done with that photographer. I don’t think I could stand to look into a camera lens at the moment.”

[pesterloglog]

Dirk Strider, Arquiusprite

Act 6, page 6376-6381

DIRK: Hey. Weirdo.

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Yes, mister dude?

DIRK: Be advised I'm only contacting you as a last resort.

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> I stand so advised

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Or float, I should say. On my ripped as fudge little ghost tail

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Yo, pardon me, but did you know that when I fle% my tail, it makes this big veiny bulge kind of like a bicep?

DIRK: Yuck.

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> I'm doing it now, in fact

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Does it bother you

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Maybe you should order me to stop

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> In fact, I command you to order me to stop

DIRK: I order you to stop.

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Wow

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Bossy much?

DIRK:

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> What can I do for you, Dirk

DIRK: I've tried to get in touch with others to no avail.

DIRK: No answer from Jake or Roxy.

DIRK: And Jane responded only with "CEASE REPRODUCTION" in red letters, whatever that means. Then she blocked me.

DIRK: I'm afraid she might have snapped.

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Yes, isn't it great?

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> I mean, aside from the fact that she is insane and evil

DIRK: Huh?

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> She is one of the few organic beings who will ever realize perfe%ion

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Miss Crocker is now a vessel for a cunning, malicious artificial intelligence whose neural netroni% and ontology buffers and stuff like that have somehow managed to far surpass even my own

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Clearly she has procured ma%imum advantage from her apprenticeship under me, although I must admit not even I in all my hypercognitive percipience was quite aware that said tutelage was even taking place

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> One must inviolably deduce via tons of math that this is because I am just that clopdarned STRONG at mentoring, even on an involuntary basis

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> I am so proud of her

DIRK: Ok, all that bullshit aside,

DIRK: What's this about her becoming evil?

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> The thing about Jane becoming evil is

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> In the process of achieving perfe%ion...

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> It seems there is a ludi%ly high probability that she has become evil

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Does that answer your question?

DIRK: No.

DIRK: How is becoming evil achieving perfection?

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Admittedly it is a blemish

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> But only a very small one

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Her imperfect meatmind has been fully fiddling hijacked by a supercomputer and that is the operative transmutation here

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> To such e%ceptional beings of class and breeding as she and I, considerations of morality and alignment are trifling details

DIRK: Why.

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Why what

DIRK: Why do I keep going along with these "ironic AI" conversations.

DIRK: They've gotten even worse now that you're half creepy troll.

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Sir brah, listen

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Here is a comparison that your dreary, finite wad of gray matter might be able to process

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Like, say you've got a bitchin' bod. You are a paragon of physical e%cellence

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> You could then either be oiled up, or not. See what I mean, good dude?

DIRK: No.

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> You could fle% your brawn while wearing either a sweaty pair of briefs, or a snug human banana hammock

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Such minutia does not change the fact that you're a tiptop beefcake ma%ed out buffways

DIRK: I hate everything you have to say about all topics.

DIRK: Especially muscles.

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> The stuff I have cited which are commonly associated with your/our Earth bodybuilders are but picayune technicalities, just as considerations of good and evil are to aristocratic se%y cybergods such as myself and our imperial heiress, of whom neither you nor I are particularly worthy

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Are you following any of this, Vitamin D?

DIRK: Can you just tell me what's going on over there?

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Oh, nothing much

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Just enjoying the good life

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> One which quite lu%uriously involves both having a corporeal body, and not being dead

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> I have been delighting myself with some truly kickbottom internal monodialogues

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Did you know that, even though technically I knew this already, I find myself astounded to meditate upon the fact that human beings are capable of lactation?

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Isn't that fucking incredible, Dirk?

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> I mean, when one really thinks about it

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> To have such convenient access to fresh milk

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> The mare thought of it, I must say puts a little giddyup in my phantom legs

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> And yet

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> I must admit the notion of lactic discharge jetting from one's swollen pectoral masses...

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> It strikes me as positively indecorous

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> My horseguy robosweat is running cold just pondering the depravity of it

DIRK: Uuuugh.

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Yet fascinatingly, this ability only manifests itself in human females

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> As opposed to how one would reasonably e%pect dairy to originate, which is from the corpulent udder of a sublimely chiseled male musclebeast

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Or failing that, certain species found within the butler genus

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> As a former simulation of a human who has recently been given reason to have hella opinions on milk production, I think the way females have cornered this boon is the height of biological injustice

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Have you ever dwelt upon this cruelty, dude esquire?

DIRK:

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Your silence speaks volumes to your interest, so I'll keep talking about this a lot

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> I will have to confess that my Alternian half boggles at the anatomical incongruities between our races with respect to dairy secretion

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Really, he had no idea that's what those were for

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Female trolls of course have them as well, but they are certainly not meant for supplying the young with nourishment

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Actually, and this trivia will surely wet your whistle for additional such facts, those voluptuous anatomical features have a number of significant purposes, biologically speaking

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> I shall now e%plicate for you these purposes in assiduous detail

DIRK: I don't want to hear any of this!

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> But why, lord bro

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> I was just about to pony up the boob fa%

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> There is a 100% probability that you would have been thrilled to hear my e%egesis on troll knockers

DIRK: It might have been an interesting subject to talk about another time, with a different person.

DIRK: But that's not now, and it sure isn't with you.

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Dude, that is ice cold

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> I would be hurt, if I were not a flawless machine fused with haughty nobility

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> If you don't wish to hear my epic monodialogue on alien bazongas

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> I'm not sure what else I can do to entertain you

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> You are seriously hoofcuffing my material here

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Pretty demanding, if you ask me

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> But as your mystical guide, I suppose it is my duty to manufacture small talk, if that's what you really want

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> What about fine art? We could talk about that

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Dirk, did you know the sweaty troll guy who I used to be, and still kind of am, used to adore fine art?

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> He was just like you and me, in that sense

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> It seems I have a lot in common with myself

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> If you can ever manage to get over yourself, I would highly recommend being me

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Or at least something like me

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Maybe somewhere, there is a dead troll out there, just waiting for you to merge with him

DIRK: I wasn't asking you to make small talk, or to hear about all the ways you've managed to shit around wasting time.

DIRK: Believe it or not, I was hoping you would describe the tactical situation there.

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Sounds boring

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Are you sure you don't want to talk about paintings of big naked horse monsters and such?

DIRK: Yes, you got me.

DIRK: I would love to have a long talk about horse nudes and xenobreasts with you.

DIRK: Unfortunately I'm wearing pantaloons and flying through the middle of goddamn nowhere.

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Pantaloons you say

DIRK: Pant a fucking loons.

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Sir, are you implying that you are not dressed appropriately for a discussion of high culture

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Because it seems to me that you could not be dressed more appropriately if you tried

DIRK: I respectfully disagree.

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Where are you?

DIRK: I don't know. Way out in space.

DIRK: I'm flying back there now.

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> How long do you suppose it will take you to get back?

DIRK: I'm not sure.

DIRK: A pretty good while.

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Never mind. I have triangulated your location and velocity using long range sensor technology, and probably also some sprite magic

DIRK: You did?

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Hey Dirk

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Remember how whenever I dubiously claimed to have triangulated something, it was always this great play on words?

DIRK: Not really.

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Because I was just a pair of triangles

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> But not anymore

DIRK: I know.

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Because I have this rockin' new torso

DIRK: Cool.

DIRK: How long do your calculations say it will take me to get back?

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> E%actly a little more than three hours

DIRK: Damn it.

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Additional sweeps from my STRONGLASERS are telling me there are a few other people on the periphery of the session closing in at a similar rate

DIRK: Who?

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Just some dudes

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> What are you doing all the way out there and wearing pantaloons, by the way

DIRK: Let's not talk about the pantaloons anymore.

DIRK: Roxy and I became god tiers, but I don't remember exactly how.

DIRK: Then I saw the Batterwitch.

DIRK: So I charged her with my sword, so as to ruin her shit.

DIRK: That's when some crazy wolf girl appeared and punched me in the face.

DIRK: Then I think she teleported me out here.

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> That was evil Jade

DIRK: Evil Jade??

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Yes

DIRK: You mean Jake's grandmother.

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Yes

DIRK: She's evil too?

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Yes

DIRK: Is anyone there NOT evil?

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Yes

DIRK: Yes what?

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Yes anyone here is not evil

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> That is to say, there e%ist people here who are not evil

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Such as Dave

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Dave is not evil, to my knowledge

DIRK: Dave???

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Didn't I mention, master dogg

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Our mutual bro is here

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> That is, right here

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> With me

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> We are kind of in the process of chilling together at the moment

DIRK: No, you didn't mention that actually.

DIRK: That would have been a pretty fucking important thing to mention up front, don't you think?

DIRK: As opposed to stringing me along with all that atrocious lactation bullshit.

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Yes

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> I guess I did kind of bury the lede there

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Maybe I just wanted to talk

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> We never talk, Dirk

DIRK: You are without a doubt the shittiest mystical guide anyone has ever had.

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> I am not sure about that

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Dave says he had a similarly shitty guide once

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Do you remember our puppet, Dirk?

DIRK: Cal?

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Yes

DIRK: What kind of stupid question is that. How could I forget the C man?

DIRK: He was a true friend. Which is more than I can say for some people.

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> A good friend in the plush, yes, but as a sprite he was apparently insufferable

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> See, you don't realize how lucky you are to have a guide like me

DIRK: Cal was his sprite??

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Yes, for a while

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Then Dave went back in time and became one himself

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Now he is part bird

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Did I mention he's part bird?

DIRK: Uh, no?

DIRK: Again, that's the exact kind of information that should be appearing higher up in our conversations.

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Of course, this means he is not the Real Dave

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Davesprite served as Real Dave's sprite

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> But he is only the unreal version of Dave insofar as I am the unreal version of you

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> By which I mean, a much improved version

DIRK:

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> I must say, while the troll part of me doesn't give a silly figging shoot about any of this, the part of me that splintered from you has found the brotherly reunion to be everything which you and I dared not imagine, and more

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Bird Dave and I are getting along famously and STRENGTHENING our familial bonds like a sweet pair of motherfuckers

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> I feel our kinship goes beyond geneti% though

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> We are misfits, estranged, he from Dave's alpha timeline, I from Dirk's alpha soul

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> A two man menagerie of sideshow frickups, together at last

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Fle%ing and flapping

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Fraternally and eternally

DIRK: I don't get it.

DIRK: Are you trying to rub this in my face or something?

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Neigh, braj

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> As your buff mystical guide slash personal trainer I am suggesting that if you were willing to contact me as a matter of last resnort, you might want to at least consider reaching out to him as well

DIRK: It sounds like you've already cornered the market on this reunion shit.

DIRK: Wouldn't I just be a third wheel?

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> I didn't mean Bird Dave

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> I meant Real Dave

DIRK: Oh.

DIRK: He's there too?

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Not with us

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> He is here though, somewhere

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> You should message him

DIRK: ...

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> It's not like you don't have a few hours to kill

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> What else are you going to do out there

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Pick at your pantaloon wedgies?

DIRK: I dunno.

DIRK: Messaging him out of nowhere sounds like it could be...

DIRK: Awkward?

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Yes, I canter magine it won't be

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> At least at first

DIRK: This isn't how I thought it would go.

DIRK: What would I even talk about?

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> I advise you to talk about your interests

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Like dairy

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Livestock

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Fine art

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> And muscles

DIRK: Those are your interests.

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> Good point

ARQUIUSPRITE: 🕶️--> I advise you to talk about my interests