#you're lucky i still have the book! for those quotes

[chemicalarospec]

i saw your post about chandler legacies, and unfortunately, i fail to see how it is aphobic. within a single book i think it is alright for all characters to have romantic interests. it is not put up as any sort of implicit objective by the author either, it's just how the course of the book went. it's a typical drama book, at the end of the day. i just don't know how it's against us on the aspectrum. could you elaborate?

It's not a major theme or anything, so I can see how you missed it, anon! But it's definitely there, once you notice it.

I'm not going to directly address anything else you said because it honestly sounds like you said it in bad faith to make me look like a petty asexual strawman who can't stand any media with relationships. I don't want to accuse you of lying about being on the a-spectrums though, so that's probably me assuming too much. (It's only been a few minutes and I feel bad about this, so I want to apologize in advance for doubting you... Situations definitely getting to me.)

I read it again and think my first post is extremely clear about the evidence and why I felt there was an aphobic message after reading, but here's it with direct quotes:

In the first chapter, Beth mentions she would like to “maybe even date [a Chandler] girl.” She is a lesbian in the rest of the story, she says so by the end. In the 3rd chapter, Ramin thinks about his ex-boyfriend, Arya. Ramin is gay. He comes out as such later in the book, tries to kiss Freddie, and is dating a man in the epilogue. In Freddie's first chapter, he thinks about liking both girls and boys. He's bisexual, he says so later on. So it's fair to assume that the character's sexualities are established in their first chapter, right? Now read this paragraph from Amanda's:

She thinks about the things that don’t appear broken that she’d love to fix. Like her inability to fall in love. Everyone on campus gossiped endlessly about the reason she broke up with Chip Whitney last year, concocting absurd stories. But the reason was simple. She just didn’t love him. And she suspects she just might not be capable of feeling that for anyone.

This book was published in 2022 and every other main character is queer. The language used here is EXTREMELY specific, not just a general "that she hasn't been in love," -- "inability to fall in love" and "she suspects she just might not be capable of feeling that for anyone." This is literally the definition of aromanticism.

I was actually excited when I read this passage! I thought, I should make an 'aromantic' shelf because I didn't see this book described as aromantic! So what happens with this during the rest of the story?

Well, Amanda never talks about thinking she can't feel love again, but she does say....

“I also told myself I wouldn’t date anyone my senior year," she says. "Oh, why?" he asks, genuinely curious. She signs. "For starers, most guys are sex-obsessed jerks." Freddy laughs uncomfortably. "But also," she continues, "no one here really gets me. But with you… I don’t know, I think maybe you do get me.”

“The thing is," she says, "I’ve had three boyfriends, but I didn’t really care about them." "You just dated them to be nice?" he jokes. But it doesn’t sound like a joke to her. It sounds like a sliver of truth. "Honestly, kind of. I mean, yeah, I can be a people pleaser. I guess I stayed with each of them way too long because breaking up with them would’ve made me the bad guy.” "That doesn’t sound fun," he says. "It really wasn’t. It was like I was waiting for each relationship to runs its course, like a bad cold or something." He laughs. "So the guys you dated were like viruses." "Basically." She stares into his eyes when she says, "But you feel different.”

This? How she talks about her past relationships? Not at all continuous with her original setup on dating-relationships. Her "inability to feel love" is changed into a "wrong person" thing, a "not yet thing", and "but you're the first, you're special" thing.

Her relationship with Freddie is explicitly a romantic relationship: On page 282, they say “I love you” to each other. Amanda notes “I’ve never said that to anyone else before.” And in the epilogue, on pages 320 to 321, Spence is dating someone else.

Given that there is an entire paragraph about Spence not falling in love (unlike Beth and Freddy's single sentence allusions), you are supposed to remember that she thought that way. So what do you take away? She was immature, she was overdramatic, she hadn't found the right person yet -- all things constantly used to discredit aro people, especially young aromantics around the age Spence is.

If this was an intent to portray an aromatic-spectrum story, it was a colossal failure, because that first paragraph is NEVER addressed again. There is already an epilogue set 7-8 years later! The author could have pushed it back a few more and had Ramin say, “Funny how it turned out that we were all [queer/not straight]. Spence emailed us just the other day explaining [the term “greyromantic"/"demiromantic”/the aromantic spectrum] and how a lot of things in her life fell into place after learning about it. I'm glad she figured that out.”

So, either this is an "accident", with unintentional aphobic messaging (because whether it's intentional or not, you cannot argue that the book does not have an aphobic message in Amanda's relationship arc), or the author purposefully wrote and designed these scenes so readers would take away the idea that if someone says they can't fall in love, they just haven't found the right person yet.

Why would I even think of the second possibility? Look, I've been around a very manipulative person lately who does stuff like this, and I encountered a very insidious aphobe online. (This is why I also had a very suspicious read of your ask, which is in all likelihood is innocent as on first appearance.) There are people out there who absolutely would do such a thing. I am not making the claim that the author is one, but I am saying it's a possibility.

Whatever the reason for writing Amanda's love arc this way, it will certainly sow unneeded doubt in many young questioning aromantics and encourage others to doubt any they encounter. Hench, aphobia, especially arophobia.

extra acephobic scene + analysis under the cut:

“You know why I want to stay in bed." She changes tone, speaking more seriously. "But we don’t have to do it if you don’t want to." "Of course I want to," he says. "It’s just, you said that you didn’t want to date most guys because they only had one thing on their minds. And I guess I didn’t want you to think that I only want sex or anything like that." She laughs. "You really are too sweet for your own good, Freddy. I didn’t mean that I never want to have sex.”

I actually thought this scene was really sweet when I first read it! I thought it was a great portrayal of how people can have different wants in different relationships, and not want a relationship centered around sex but still want sex. But after realizing how arophobic the book was, this scene gets a lot more icky. It basically reads as, "Don't worry everybody! If your parenter says they don't want sex, you just misunderstood, or they're lying, or they're come around eventually, because everybody wants sex!" Respecting and not pressuring your partner when you think they don't want sex is "too sweet for your own good." Like, what?

In short, this book is trying to get its young readers to NOT believe or respect any future aro and/or ace people they may meet/become interested in.

[bumblebeesfromvenus]

TF141 getting a boudoir photo album as a wedding gift ♡

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A/N: THIS WAS SO FUN!!! Great, absolutely phenomal idea, dear anon. Simon's part is very sappy (I cried) which might be ooc for him?? Idk, that's how I write him/interpret his character! :) let me know who's your favorite 👀

~Fi 🐝

《Warnings》: NSFW content. proceed with caution. PiV, creampie, cunnilingus, Johnny's oral fixation (yes, that is a warning.)

It's still very sweet and lovey dovey with all of them bc I'm a certified sap <3

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ──��─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

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John would be grinning and smirking like a proper idiot when he lays his eyes on those delectable photos of you.

I imagine you had a date night at home, sipping wine on the couch and talking about your wedding that's supposed to take place in only 3 days. He's telling you how he can't wait to see you in your wedding dress and slip that ring onto your finger.

Sneaky bastard.

Be prepared to he called Mrs. Price the days leading up to the big day. John excuses it with:

"Need to practice, love. Don't wanna mess it up in front of anyone, eh?"

He knows what he's doing, you know what he's doing, all is well because if he only knew what that did to you. You're just talking, trying to get the nerves out now so you can go into your wedding with a clear mind and have a good time. When you tell him you have a gift for him, his eyebrows almost overshoot his forehead. Yeah, he knew that was a thing some people did, but he never gave it another thought.

In all honesty, marrying you was the best gift he could ever get. Which is why he feels slightly guilty that he doesn't have one for you (at least that's what you see, internally he's crushed) but that all goes out the window when you sit back down with a sleek beige photo album that has a little romantic quote on the front.

What he doesn't expect, however, is the angelic image of your plush body on full display, draped over a velvet chaise lounge with layered pearl necklaces hanging from your neck. This man is shell-shocked. If he wasn't frozen in place, he would've snapped the book shut.

"And what's this, doll, hm?"

His heart feels warm and fuzzy, thinking these are some lovely pictures of you together on holidays you went on, casual trips to the local pub or just some domestic shots you managed to sneak during his leave.

You can basically see the connections to his brain frying. His jaw slacks, and only after what feels like 10 minutes he regains his ability to think and close his mouth. John is sweating and his cock is rock hard as he flips through the remaining pages.

He shoots you the occasional glance while he's trying not to hyperventilate. You just sit back and savor your wine, trying to hide your laugh behind the rim of your glass. You'd expected a reaction, of course, but you didn't think you'd render the John Price speechless just from a few suggestive photographs of you.

But what absolutely breaks the camels back (or John's, in this case) is the last picture of you. You're kneeling, slightly leaned back and supported by your arms, with one of his Flannels covering your soft tits. That alone would've been enough to drive him crazy, but the sight of his old dogtags sitting against your sternum has him groaning out loud.

The only other thing covering you is a simple pair of lace panties, cupping the soft curve and rolls of your tummy so beautifully, John was ready to take a bit out of that damn page.

He nearly misses the inscription underneath the photo;

To my John; the love of my life, the man of my dreams,

I love you.

You hold my heart and you will forever.

May I be so lucky to find my place in the stars by your side when the time comes, so we'll never have to be apart.

With all my love,

Mrs. Price

And that does it. The album snaps shut and you barely have time to put down your wine glass before John is all over you, taking handfuls of you, whatever he can reach. With how fast he smashes his lips on yours, he nearly gives you whiplash.

He's tugging and pulling at your clothes as well as his own, not saying a thing, just hungrily swallowing every one of your sounds and giggled objections before he decides the couch is uncomfortable and he moves you to the bedroom. You're hoisted up without a warning and you cling to his neck. Immediately, worried words start spilling from your lips, remembering how he'd complained about a sore back just today;

"John, baby, your back-"

"I don't give a flying fuck about my back, love."

He's heaving and grunting like a fucking animal, he's downright feral. Despite all of that, you're still laid down gently on the bed, John would never, ever be reckless with you. But he needs to be inside you now, he'll actually lose his mind.

Usually, he'd spent hours between your thighs first, but he just can't wait. He's pounding you into another dimension but with such gentleness in his gestures, it makes your head spin.

He's holding your hand, breathing sweet praises into your ear despite him filling you to the brim. His urge to claim you goes haywire and he fills you with his cum multiple times before he's sane enough again.

He's covered in sweat and his beard is wet from your spit from all the sloppy kisses he gave you. John will definitely make it up to you and eat you out for as long as you want after.

He'll make a copy of one of the photos and take it with him when he's on deployment, just for the nights he's feeling lonely.

His wedding gift to you are the hickeys on your thighs and tummy and new sheets because you two tore the other ones to absolute shreds.

♥︎

Johnny would probably have a boudoir album for you, too. You get at least one shirtless pic a day, so a whole album of his body on display or in suggestive poses basically screams Johnny. He's already drooling the second he spots that book because he knows what it is and that he's in for a treat.

He's buzzing with excitment.

You never really send nudes for privacy reasons, and then for you to do something like this hit him like a truck in the best way possible. You're standing opposite from him behind the kitchen counter, and you look so nervous to him.

Cue his signature shit-eating grin. You tap your fingers on the dark blue album before having enough of your nerves and just sliding it over to him with a few mumbled words of what it is.

"Awe, for me, mo leannan?" He's a teasing bastard, and he chuckles when you huff and turn your head, obviously flustered. Johnny is legit licking his lips, but when he opens the book, his grin fades so fast.

He knew it would be good, but holy shit, this was so much better than he expected. His pupils dilate as he takes in each of the pictures of you, all of you, all your curves and bumps.

Everything he loves about you. God, you're such a woman, he thinks to himself. Some with lingerie, some without. He's full on drooling at this point, and the only reason why he roughly wipes it away with the back of his hand is to not get it on these sacred images.

He smirks at the picture of you in a tub, all soapy, with pebbled nipples. An obvious dig at his nickname, but, god, does your ass look amazing when it's covered in a thin layer of bubbles. He loves lathering you up in the shower and feeling you up while you're all wet and slippery.

"Good thing I can hold my breath, aye, hen? Might even try to set a new personal record." He's grinning and chuckling meanwhile you give him a sharp glare. You can't deny that the idea intrigues you, though.

But this, oh, this one was him swallowing thickly. It's you in very sheer panties (they're barely even underwear) and his name patch is sewn onto the front. Your hair looks so nice, so do your thighs, he doesn't know whether to look at your eyes or your tits. The button on his jeans is about to pop off from his throbbing boner.

He can't take his eyes off that 'MacTavish' patch that sits right on your lower belly, with the slight curve it has to it from your soft tummy.

Johnny has to hold himself back from gripping the book too hard. He wouldn't want to ruin it.

"Steamin' bloody Jesus, bonnie..."

The album is shut and tucked under his arm, and Johnny jumps over the counter to get his hands on you. Or his mouth, more like. He has a huge oral fixation, so he loves sucking and biting on every inch of your skin. You're pushed back into the bedroom, even though you end up on the floor, and the book is thrown onto the bed.

He rips your shirt up and sucks at your tits and nipples, groaning and moaning at the taste of your skin, all while he's rubbing his clothes cock against your leg. You end up on your hands and knees with one of Johnny's hands on your lowerback while his face is buried in your cunt.

He's eating you out like he's been starved for years, and his stubble is already starting to irritate the skin of your thighs and ass.

You'll have the worst case of beard burn in the morning, but how could you care about that when his tongue is so deep inside of you?

Remember when I said he'd have a boudoir album too? Yeah, now you're in between his legs, your back pressed to his chest with Johnny's album in your shaky hands. And the way your engagement ring catches the dim light of the room has your eyes rolling back.

And Jesus christ, Johnny looks fucking phenomal. You clench around his fingers hard, and he doesn't even have to pull his head from your neck to know what photo you're looking at.

He's smirking and grinning like the ceshire cat, knowing that the image of him in a kilt with no shirt one is gracing your field of vision right about now.

"Ah knew ye'd like tha' one, bonnie..."

Johnny's cooing in your ear, telling you to keep looking at the pictures while he's knuckle deep in your pussy. His bare dick is pressed against your ass and you can feel him rocking his hips to get off.

He's mumbling all kinds of gibberish into your ear, but one of the few things you can make out is "mo bhean"* which pushes you over the edge. You won't be leaving that bed anytime soon.

*(My wife)

♥︎

Kyle is such a sweetheart. I've said it before, and I will say it again, he's such a cutie pie!!! But that doesn't mean he can't or won't get nasty.

He'd offered to make lunch, which was delicious as always, and now you're chatting casually about your day at your dining table. Your fingers are laced together, and he's wearing the biggest smile because all he can think of is how he gets to marry you in just a few days.

He's over the moon. He can't wait to see you walk down the aisle, say your vows to each other, and overall have a great time with all your friends and family.

But the thing Kyle is looking forward the most is the honeymoon. He'll have you to himself for 2 whole weeks and he's stoked. He can't wait to treat you to nice things, love on you, but he's the most excited to fuck you as your husband.

He may look sweet and 'innocent' but this man can fuck, okay. And he fucks well. He knows every little spot that has you mewling and he's so good at using them for his gain.

Kyle will fuck you into the mattress in the Hotel you booked, he's already made up his mind about that, but he wants to absolutely melt your brain by being so loving whole doing it that you can't help but cry out for him.

He has heart eyes at this point, watching you talk about all that happened today and he only snaps out of his dream world when you present the deep red album to him with a sweet smile.

He's got a hunch of what it is so there's a hint of a smirk on his lips. Still, he almost gets whiplash when he opens it.

There's no easing into it, just straight up tits, ass and tummy. And let me tell you, Kyle is loving every second of it. It's no secret that he loves your chub, and that fact that it's extenuated so beautifully in every shot makes his heart and his cock happy. He's a very balanced man after all.

He comments on every single photo because he think it's endearing how you get all flustered and giggly from his compliments.

One picture that has him taking a second, though, is one where you have a lacy band tied around your thigh, with a little golden 'Kyle' charm hanging from it. He's all smiley and giddy, but he does try to discreet adjust his trousers because, holy shit, that's hot.

"Have you still got that, dove? Would love to see it tied around your pretty neck."

All you answer is that he'll have to be patient and wait till the wedding night to find out. He's laughing and teasing now, but just what till you get to the last page, Gazy.

And the way his smile just melts off his face is priceless. His gaze is flitting between you on the page and you sitting across from him with a shot eating grin. All the blood that drained from his face went straight to his dick.

Not only are you wearing a set of lingerie in his favorite color, but you've got his iconic pair of sunglasses hooked on the center of your bra. And that's not all either, his eyes travel upwards and his base cap is sat on your head and you've got that beautiful smile of yours on your face.

He makes an audible noise, one that indicates you took his breath away, when he takes in the whole picture.

"How in hell did you manage to snatch my hat and my glasses from right under my nose?!"

"Skilled hands, babe."

He's laughing at you breathlessly because he's still enarmoured by the sight of you.

And Kyle will absolutely whisk you away and fuck you stupid in front of your bedroom mirror while you're wearing his hat.

It makes him feral, seeing you like that. He's got both of his arms wrapped around your middle and he's panting into your shoulder. He does look up from time to time to see your blissed out face all while still wearing his cap.

He lets out a strained moan everytime he looks at you in the mirror and his hips stutter ever so slightly.

Kyle is just spewing jumbled words of love because he's genuinely so happy. You make him so happy.

He honestly can't wait to give you your wedding gift. It's a little booklet filled with poems or quotes that reminded him of you, or of how you make him feel. And it will make you cry when he reads them to you.

Definitely not because he'll be ballsdeep inside of you while doing so...

♥︎

Simon, Simon, Simon.... first of all, he's completely blindsided by this. And he hasn't got a fucking clue what's in that black book you hand him one night when you're cuddling in bed.

There's just a giant question mark above his head. When you tell him it's a wedding gift, he goes silent and just looks at that album in his hands.

He never really got gifts, which obviously changed since he's been with you, but he's still not used to it. You're so thoughtful. And sweet. And kind, and perfect and-

he turns his head to you when you softly call his name and if you notice the slight sheen of tears in his big brown eyes, you don't mention it. You just encourage him to open the book. And when he does, a small huff and gentle smile leave him because how are you so perfect?

Yes, all of the pictures are all filthy, but they're all radiating of love and softness, and he can't get over it. How are you so soft? Simon can't get enough of you. You mess up his emotions in ways he never thought possible, and he can't help that his heart starts beating twice as fast.

That you did this for him means more than you could ever fathom, and he'll treasure this album until his end. He absent mindedly reaches for your hand as he flips through the pages, trying to tell you thank you when his words fail him, like they did so many times before with you.

He comes across a shot of your neck, a black leather collared fasten around it with a little silver skull charm. It makes him smile just a bit. He knows just how much meaning is behind it.

That you love him. All of him, which includes the Ghost. In cursive, 'Riley' is written right above your heart, and he gives your hand a squeeze.

Although you love the Ghost because it's a part of him, you've shown him that it's not all he is. That Simon is enough. That he should give Simon a chance and that he's not incapable anymore, like he was as a little boy. Ghost is sort of a protector of Simon, something not many people know, that's why he wears the mask outside of duty too. To shield himself.

But as much as the Ghost's service is appreciated, Simon can handle himself now. The Ghost will forever be with him, but so will you, and you'll wipe his bloody hands with a smile. You've shown him that you accept Ghost just as much as you accept Simon, and that means the world to him.

He sniffles ever so quietly, and you lean your head against his shoulder, pressing a kiss to his cheek. He moves on, gently turning the pages, and as much as his heart is touched by your kind gesture of this album, that doesn't stop his cock from stirring. It's pictures of your naked form, after all.

He loves every single inch of you and he's told you and shown you so many times, kissed all your insecurities away and took your mind off any bad thoughts about yourself by fucking you so well and lovingly to the point of tears.

Never, in a million years, had he expected you to return these efforts. You kissed all his scars and held him softly when reassuring any doubts he had. That's when he truly and fully fell in love with you.

He can feel himself getting hotter with every passing image of your soft body bent in different positions and clad in delicate garments, if any.

The best for last, as always, and it's a picture of you kneeling in front of a mirror, completely nude. A picture of Simon in full military regalia is tapped to the mirror and it's surrounded by a bunch of hearts drawn on with lipstick.

His name is written under the picture in your handwriting, and he can see you holding a lipstick, in the middle of finishing another heart. His breath hitches just for a split second.

He swears he'll burn this photo into the back of his eyelids.

It shows him just how great and raw your love for him is, and it makes him all fuzzy on the inside. The text at the bottom finishes it all off, and he's actively holding back tears, overwhelmed by so many feelings for you.

Dear Husband,

We're flawed; but that's how I like us. You're you, and I'm me, and I wouldn't change it for the world. You've made me a better version of myself, and that makes me love you so much more. I'm so proud of you, Simmy.

Love,

Your wife

"Thank you, my love. Thank you for this, and for loving me and for everything you've done for me. I love you"

His words are soft and painfully honest as he gently sets the album aside. You've made him a better man. A better Simon. A happier Simon. A Simon that's slowly starting to heal.

It starts off with a soft kiss that slowly turns more desperate and needy to the point you're gently being pushed back onto the bed, your clothes are discarded, and Simon absolutely worships you. He kisses every inch he can reach and touching you in all the ways he knows you like.

And, yeah, Simon can be rough and fuck you stupid for hours, but tonight, he just wants to feel close to you, and make you feel as good as you make him feel by simply loving him. He's talking you through it, holding you while he makes sure you take every inch of his cock.

His strokes are slow and deep, just like his love for you, and he revels in the way your eyes roll back each time he slides into you to the hilt. The drag of his dick against your walls has you moaning and whining, and when he presses down on your pudgy lower belly to intensify the sensation, you're putty.

You two fuck the whole night like this, no matter how sensitive you are, you need to be close to each other.

And in the morning, he'll wake you up with his face buried in your pussy because he's out of his sappy mood and his only goal now is to absolutely ruin you.

♡

Bonus: I can totally see Simon giving his dad the biggest middle finger known to man all the way in hell when he's standing by the altar on your wedding day. It just screams: 'fuck you, stupidly bastard. Despite all you've done to me and my family, despite all that's happened, I've persevered. I've overcome it all. Look at me now.'

Right after he's smiling up at the sky, knowing that his mum and brother are watching and that they would've loved you just as much as he does <3

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I hope you enjoyed!! I love all my boys <3

(If you find any typos, it's 2.am. give me a break pls)

[susiephone]

the internet's lack of nuance in general is always annoying but one thing i see come up over and over again is people refusing the acknowledge that book piracy is different than pirating tv or movies. and it is. it absolutely is.

unlike tv or movies, where, with some exceptions, everyone gets paid an agreed upon amount for their work, regardless of how much money the end product makes, authors make royalties- meaning how much they make is completely dependent on how many copies sell. some authors get an advance, which is a flat fee you get no matter what, but you don't start making royalties until you "earn out" your advance - so if i get an advance of, say, $10,000, i don't get any royalties for my book until it's sold enough copies to make $10,000 in royalties and paid the publisher back for the advance. most books never get that far. and $10,000 is not a number to sneeze at, but when you consider that books can take months to years to write, plus editing time, plus marketing (because 95% of that responsibility falls on the author unless you are extremely lucky) - when you break it down to how much money you're making for every hour of work you put into a book, it's really not a living wage, unless you're one of the lucky few who sells a lot of copies consistently, and/or gets large enough advances that you can live on it for a year or two while you write your next book.

i've seen some well-meaning people say that pirating from indie authors is wrong because they don't have the support or resources of a publishing house, and often don't sell a lot of copies at all - which is true. but i think a lot of people don't fully realize that most authors who are traditionally published, even ones who have had overall positive experiences with their publishers, don't usually make that much either. like i said, most people never earn out their advance, and most authors have to handle marketing mostly themselves - the books everyone's talking about, most of them probably got a big marketing push from the publisher with more money behind it. which isn't a dig at those books; publishers put money behind projects they think will make money, often because those books are good! but it is a self-fulfilling prophecy, and the books that get covered by every reviewer, get goodreads banner ads, get quotes from famous authors, end up in subscription boxes? very much the exception, and that's because the publisher can't afford to do that for every book. obviously sometimes there's an underdog, a book that didn't get a big marketing push but gets great word-of-mouth and grows that way, but if you're trying to make a living writing, you have to work for that to happen.

so with all that in mind, it really grinds my gears to see authors who say, "hey, book piracy significantly hurts my income" being called greedy, selfish, or "scabs".

i think some people think, "wow, you have a publishing deal from a big 5 publisher with a five-figure advance, and you still want more money? how greedy!" because they don't fully realize how the math actually works out for most authors.

like, pedro pascal is getting his fat paycheck no matter how many people pirate the mandalorian. no one working on dear evan hansen lost a dime because of the bootleg recordings floating around. and for the big new york times bestselling authors? yeah, most of them probably won't be hurt by people pirating their book instead of buying it. almost certainly stephen king is not going to notice if a few thousand people download an illegal pdf of the shining. but most authors, it does have an impact.

obviously, there is some nuance here - not everyone can afford books to read, and not everyone can access a library. and obviously if a book is out of print, that's a different discussion entirely. but "it's fine to pirate books because piracy is always ethical and victimless and authors who are against it are just scabs who hate poor people" doesn't really hold water for me. authors are not the bad guy for wanting to be compensated for their labor, and while it's not the reader's fault the royalties system doesn't let most authors make a good living at it, it's also not the author's fault.

if you want free books that don't screw the author over, advocate for more libraries with more funding! most libraries will also take requests for books to purchase for their collection, and, at least in the USA, "interlibrary loans" will let them temporarily borrow a book from another library system if someone wants it. see if your library is part of libby and hoopla, and if they're not, suggest they join. if you have a little extra money but can't afford new books, thriftbooks is a great place for cheap used books.

like i said, i am not saying everyone who ever pirated a book is a bad person, or that there's never a justifiable reason. i just wanted to introduce more nuance into the conversation.

[lucky-clover-gazette]

captive prince book 1 highlights & annotations

chapter 7

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

Seeing no reason whatsoever to cooperate with that order, Damen stood up.

very much a “damen is not a slave” moment. this is the opposite of what they’ve been trained to do.

‘You are really courting danger tonight,’ Laurent said. ‘Am I? I thought I was appealing to your better nature. Order whatever punishment you like, from the coward’s distance of a chain-length. You and Govart are two of a kind.’

yessss, question his integrity! i love that they both get really pissed off when they’re implied to be bad people, but only by each other. it’s like they’ve mutually identified each other as their own personal moral arbiters, and couldn’t stop caring even if they tried.

Laurent transferred his gaze back to Damen and said, pleasantly, ‘Does that bother you? I recall you being free with your own hands, not so very long ago.’ ‘That was—’ Damen flushed. He wanted to deny that he’d done anything of the kind, but he remembered rather unequivocally that he had.

called out for enjoying the bath scene a little too much

‘I promise you, Govart did a great deal more than simply enjoy the view.’

vine boom so you WERE enjoying the view

‘To a slave,’ Laurent said. ‘The Prince’s Guard doesn’t interfere with the Regency. Govart can stick his cock into anything of my uncle’s he likes.’ Damen made a sound of disgust. ‘With your blessing?’ ‘Why not?’ said Laurent. His voice was honeyed. ‘He certainly had my blessing to fuck you, but it turned out he’d rather take a blow to the head. Disappointing, but I can’t fault his taste. Then again, maybe if you’d spread in the ring, Govart wouldn’t have been so hot to get inside your friend.’

context of what laurent is implying here (not what’s actually true): this is not laurent’s command or responsibility, but the regent’s. and it’s somehow damen’s fault that this happened to erasmus, because he didn’t let govart take him instead, which is what laurent had intended to happen. massive laurent ethical L on both counts. do better.

Damen said, ‘This isn’t a scheme of your uncle’s. I don’t take orders from men like Govart. You’re wrong.’ ‘Wrong,’ said Laurent. ‘How lucky I am to have servants to point out my shortcomings. What makes you think I will tolerate any of this, even if I believed what you are saying to be true?’ ‘Because you can end this conversation any time you like.’

damen won this interaction! called out laurent for clearly giving a shit, because he’s still talking!

also, craft note: great back-and-forth throughout this entire exchange

With so much at stake, Damen was sick of certain kinds of exchanges; the kind Laurent favoured, and enjoyed, and was good at. Wordplay for its own sake; words that built traps. None of it meant anything.

i have several hundred annotations that suggest otherwise

‘When someone doesn’t like you very much, it isn’t a good idea to let them know that you care about something,’ said Laurent.

context: nicaise :( and horse :( and a lot of things :(

break the cycle of abuse laurent i know you can do it

‘Would it hurt worse than a lashing for me to cut down someone you care for?’ said Laurent.

context: laurent knows, from experience, that the answer is yes

‘I don’t think I need to bring in more men,’ said Laurent. ‘I think all I have to do is tell you to kneel, and you’ll do it. Without me lifting a finger to help anyone.’ ‘You’re right,’ said Damen. ‘I can end this any time I like?’ said Laurent. ‘I haven’t even begun.’

damen won the confrontation morally, and they both know it. laurent won in practice by being intentionally immoral, and instead reminding damen that he has been given power over him that he can abuse. this is exactly what the regent has done to laurent, over and over again. sad.

Laurent said, ‘There is no bargain between us. A prince does not make deals with slaves and insects. Your promises are worth less to me than dirt. Do you understand me?’ ‘Perfectly,’ said Damen.

translation: “you win.” “i know.”

Damen rethought that particular approach. He turned over the information he’d just been given. Re-examined it. Turned it over again. ‘What changed your mind?’ Damen said, carefully.

context: maybe i’m too optimistic, but i think it’s genuinely an ethical decision on laurent’s part. there’s a strategic purpose in here, too, but that’s more of a convenience. laurent knew he was wrong, and might have even connected himself to his uncle and disliked the similarity. he doesn’t act smug when he’s doing something he doesn’t want to do, but he knows he should do this. that’s why he’s pissed at damen, but not playful about it at all. so i do think this was ultimately a “laurent was called on his bullshit, and has too much integrity not to act based on that callout” thing.

‘I’m not sure that I believe anything that you’ve just told me,’ Damen said. ‘Do you have a choice?’ ‘No.’

silver lining for laurent: re-asserts his own power and moral high ground by helping damen, instead of threatening him in a way they both know is fucked up

He has experienced things many adults have not, and his mind is no longer that of a child.

laurent would know :(

‘Is there anyone at this court who isn’t my enemy?’ ‘Not if I can help it,’ Laurent said.

okay this is just him being mean. it’s his enrichment 

‘So he’s tame,’ said Estienne, and reached out tentatively, as though to pat a wild animal. It was a question of which part of the animal he was patting. Damen knocked his hand away. Estienne gave a yelp and snatched his hand back, nursing it against his chest. ‘Not that tame,’ said Laurent. He didn’t reprimand Damen. He didn’t seem particularly displeased with barbaric behaviour, as long as it was directed outward. Like a man who enjoys owning an animal who will rake others with its claws but eat peacefully from his own hand, he was giving his pet a great deal of license.

they’re insane

As a result, courtiers kept one eye on Damen, giving him a wide berth. Laurent used that to his advantage, using the propensity of courtiers to fall back in reaction to Damen’s presence as a means of extricating himself smoothly from conversation. The third time this happened Damen said, ‘Shall I make a face at the ones you don’t like, or is it enough to just look like a barbarian?’ ‘Shut up,’ said Laurent, calmly.

emotional collapse animal to keep people from annoying laurent. love the banter here. damen knows that’s exactly what’s happening, and laurent is annoyed that he knows, because it makes him seem like an antisocial loser, which he is

Torveld was a handsome man in his forties

ew. leave laurent alone. he’s like half your age and he has specific trauma that makes this particularly uncomfortable

He reconciled himself to an evening of listening to Laurent lying a great deal, about everything. Laurent was a nest of scorpions in the body of one person. To hear that Akielos was weakened was as painful as Laurent must have meant it to be.

context: not entirely sold on the idea that laurent is having this conversation about akielos specifically to upset damen, but i get why damen feels that way

‘I wish we had more time together,’ said Torveld, showing no inclination to rise.

GET A JOB. STAY AWAY FROM HER

‘Nephew. You were not invited to these discussions.’ ‘And yet, here I am. It’s very irritating, isn’t it?’ said Laurent. ‘You’ve never applied yourself seriously to anything in your life.’ ‘Haven’t I? Well, then it’s nothing serious, uncle. You have no cause to worry.’

laurent applies himself seriously to most, if not all, of the things he chooses to do. regent just dislikes that laurent has a choice and uses it.

[mysterious-animated-skulls]

Random quotes and scenarios from a crossover idea. Credit goes to the discord chat.

Vivi: Being branded a pirate wasn't on my bucket list. But when in Rome! *whips out the hat she bought for fun at a local shop* Ahoy, me mateys!

----

Lewis: I might not know how to sail a boat, but we also don't need to right now. *snaps fingers; magenta fire flares around the tub, transforming it into a black, intimidating, and ghostly ship*

We still need to learn and fast. And get a better boat. But while we do that, I can get us around with comfort and style.

Vivi: *with stars in her eyes* That's sooooo cool!

Arthur: *grinning with excitement* That's definitely cool. I bet the inside has everything we need to stay comfortable from your words.

Lewis: It sure does. But I have a feeling I'll strain my powers often here. We will need to restock the old-fashioned way, too. But I have no idea what necessities a boat should have when you're out on the open sea.

Vivi: Leave that to me and Mystery! We're very good at research and being stealthy. I want to know more about those 'Demon Fruits'. They could provide the information we need to return home.

Lewis: Apropos- Should we need stealth, I can modify the outside to look like any other ship. Marines, traders, a shipwreck...

Vivi: *nudges his side* Or make it invisible, right? *wraggling her eyebrows*

Lewis: *exaggerated gasp* You wound me! Which ghost would not include invisibility with a haunted ship?

Vivi: I'll add sketch books to our shopping list so that you can practice visualizing the designs.

Arthur: I'll go check out how we can make money. Lewis is right. We can't solely rely on his powers. And we'll not always have that much luck to find a sunken treasure chest that just happens to contain swatches of the local currency.

Mystery: Lewis could draw portraits and sell those. He has the skill to enthrall many people. Under an alias, of course.

Lewis: Oh, right. What do we do about our appearances? Vivi's the only one so far who's gotten a Wanted Poster-

Arthur: Which is still so weird and creepy. How did they get that photo of her?!

Lewis: -and the cameras here don't seem to work me, too. But even if we're not notorious and stay on the down-low, we might get attention we don't want. Which is weird to think about since- OMG, GUYS, GUYS. WE HAVE THE CHANCE TO BE LIKE SAILOR MOON AND HAVE SECRET IDENTITIES.

----

Arthur: I've encountered yokai and ghosts and demons. But it's seeing a guy disperse and reform from smoke that makes my brain hurt.

----

Mystery: Vivi, you've been holding that Devil Fruit for several minutes now. Are you alright?

Vivi: I'm trying to get a reading of this thing. It's definitely not a normal fruit, but I can't tell what kind of magic it is either. Maybe if I had a second one to compare with...

Oh, right. These things are incredibly valuable and rare. Either protected until it's sold or somebody eats it. We were lucky to find this one. Damn it!

Mystery: *puts a paw onto it* One thing for certain is that it is powerful. To have things like this exist, that give you a variety of powers with only just a bite of them...

----

Arthur: Half of these people are physically stronger than Lewis, right?

Lewis: I can throw them around but it doesn't do anything to keep them down. It's a weird feeling.

Arthur: The same number is also stronger than Mystery?

Mystery: As much as I loathe to admit it. They're not even the strongest people around. *grouses*

Arthur: And if we get into a prolonged fight with them, their numbers means there's a very high chance that Lewis' attention will slip or he'll tire out, leaving an opening to capture us on the ship. Or that they hurt or kill either Mystery, Vivi, or me directly.

Vivi: Very much so.

Mystery: Unacceptable.

Lewis: What he said.

Arthur: Mystery Skulls. Since we're not dealing with our usual brand of the supernatural, and nothing else is keeping us here... What do you think about leaving this shithow? Like... vanishing under their feet?

Vivi: Ohhh, yes. We are on a ghost ship, are we not? A ship that our Lewlew is steering.

Lewis: Artie, I love the way you think. I'll add just one modification.

Outside: *Marine soldiers of different ranks yell as they drop, because the ship's deck they were on is gone; deeply confused they hit the decks of their own ship*

Random marine: What happened???

Other marine: Where's the pirate ship? It's just gone!

Lewis: I've been experimenting. I now can manipulate the space on top of my constructs, too, not only within. It makes for dramatic escapes.

Mystery: That will be useful. Where did you set up this time?

Lewis: One of the small closets where they store the washing soap.

Vivi: *snickers* I know they won't find us, but I'm imagining the poor man's face who goes to fetch the soap and the drawer opens to a luxurious bathroom.

Lewis: Don't tempt me. I want to prank these guys after this mess, but I don't want any of those stronger marines close.

Arthur: Just let the Deadbeats drop us off some miles away and go our merry way.

Arthur: ... You know what, please forget everything I said. The Deadbeats will cause mischief AND transport us at the same time.

----

Vivi: This interview has been very informative, thank you so much for your time.

Random marine: This is an interrogation! You'll not leave this room except back to your your cell until you've told where your companions are!

Where did you get this notepad from, this is Marine standard-

Vivi: Toodeloo~ *vanishes into thin air*

Marine: ... That was my favorite notepad.

----

Marine: S-stop hitting me, I'm an official representative of the Marines, you'll be- ACK!

Arthur: *fuming* Do you know how hard I tried to disassemble this thing so that I can re-use the parts?! Do YOU? I could've made so many things, but nooooo!! You had to be an asshole just because! Now it's not any better than scrap metal!

Lewis: Should we stop Arthur?

Vivi: Give him some more minutes to get it out of his system. He's not been using the prosthesis for months now, but he still made it himself.

Marine: What do I care for the trite hobbies of a civilian. *dodge* *duck* STOP DOING THAT, I'LL HAVE YOU ARRESTED FOR ASSAULT AND RESISTING-

Voice: Ahem.

Marine: What- Urgh. *turns as white as a paper sheet as he comes face to face with Vice Admiral Garp* Ah, Vice-Admiral, this civilian is a troublemaker, I was just-

Vivi: Well, that's another way to deal with it.

Arthur: *smacks the marine upside the head with his ruined prosthesis*

Mystery: *in human disguise, as a trader* It seems that the local Marine base has a problem with internal discipline, has it not?

Garp: And training, Ma'am. *grabs marine by the lapel from the ground* I remember telling you to shape up or face the consequences. I see neither improvement in conduct nor in strength. What does it say about you that a 'civilian troublemaker' effortlessly fought you off?

----

Vivi: Mystery, I love you and appreciate that you went to get help. But did you have to get one of the highest ranking officials and strongest people of this world involved?

Arthur: Of the very organization which is hunting us after they branded us as pirates?

Mystery: It worked, didn't it? And meeting that man gave me important information:

Garp: *somewhere else, before* Where the fuck did this lady go? It's as if she's never existed.

Mystery: I can vanish from whatever skill he and likely others used to track us before. I'd wager the same goes for Lewis. And if I can do it once, I can do it again.

[chrisfriel]

beginners guide to dying 040724

rarely post non photographic stuff but this moved me today

In September 2023, Simon Boas was diagnosed with throat cancer. Aged just 46, he was told the disease was terminal, and that it would ultimately take his life.

Over the following year, he knitted together his reflections on life into a book - A Beginner's Guide to Dying. The book is set to hit the shelves in October. It will be a posthumous publication.

In what he expects to be one of his final interviews, Simon spoke to Emma Barnett on the Today Programme, offering his reflections on life and death as he moved into hospice care.

My pain is under control and I'm terribly happy - it sounds weird to say, but I'm as happy as I've ever been in my life.

I used to think I'd rather be hit by the proverbial bus, but having a couple of months knowing this is coming has really helped me both do the boring 'death-min', but also get my thoughts and prepare myself, and feel so accepting of what's to come.

It's been such a great bonus, actually.

The book is called A Beginner's Guide to Dying, but really what I'm trying to convey is how enjoying life to the full kind of prepares you for this.

In some ways I was lucky that my life and my career have taken me to quite a lot of places where death is more a part of life than it is for us in the West.

I spent my life as an aid worker - quite a lot with the UN - and I've lived in places where death is something that not just exists in the background, but is imminently possible.

I spent three years running a UN office in the Gaza Strip. I spent a lot of time in Rwanda, Sierra Leone, and I've been working in Ukraine. Seeing people there for whom death is such a part of life - they lose children, they don't know where the next meal is coming from - has really helped me.

I've also been a Samaritan for the past four years. In some cases you are on the line while people end their lives, so I think death has been more a part of my life than for many people.

It does us all good to think about it.

That's not in a gloomy way… by kind of realising it's inevitable and it's a part of life, it actually throws life into perspective and helps you to enjoy it more and prioritise the important things.

My family are about to go through the most difficult thing in their lives. My lovely wife, Aurelie, and my parents… are well surrounded, and I hope that my cheerfulness in the leaving of life might perhaps help them in the next few years…

All our lives are little books - but they're not someone else's complete book. You're a chapter or a page or a footnote in someone else's life and they are going to keep writing beautiful chapters when you are gone.

And those green shoots can grow around grief and put it in perspective. I hope people will think, "I'm glad I read that - Simon's story". And just because it's over, doesn't mean it's gone.

You don't need to have been a politician or a mover and shaker or an aid worker or anything in life. All of us make a huge difference.

I love this quote from George Eliot's Middlemarch:

"The effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistorical acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.”

All of us make a huge difference in life. I love the idea that most films about time travel revolve around changing one tiny thing in the past, and of course they come back to the present and everything is different.

If you project that forward, you can change huge amounts of things into the future.

All our tombs will be unvisited in a few years - all our actions will mostly be unremembered - but the smile you gave the checkout lady or the kind words you gave to a stranger in the street could still be rippling forward.

We all have that opportunity and it's a huge power. And I want everyone to realise how special and precious they are.

I love melted cheese. Unfortunately I haven't been able to eat since Christmas. The chemotherapy killed my taste buds and the radiotherapy killed my salivary glands.

So, sadly, melted cheese and all the things I loved are off the menu.

However, I've been given full permission by my oncologist and my hospice team to enjoy as much Muscadet and as many cheeky rollups as I want - and I shall certainly be indulging in those and spending time with my family.

I'm sort of - not looking forward to my final day - of course that's the wrong way to see it. But I'm kind of curious about it, and I'm happy and I'm ready.

As Julian of Norwich said: "All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well."

FULL INTEVIEW

[mcflymemes]

ALISTAIR THEIRIN QUOTES *  dialogue from dragon age: origins, updated version

excuse me while i begin projectile vomiting.

you were the first person i ever spent the night with, and if i had my way... you'd be the last.

do you think you might ever... feel the same way about me?

will you miss it once it's over?

i care for you so much.

i love you. more than i ever thought possible.

i wish i could be better at this.

you know that i've never done anything like this. with anyone.

i guess i was raised not to take this sort of thing lightly.

it's just like being home again.

i can't run away from it anymore.

given the circumstances, things could have been so much worse.

i locked myself in a cage once, when i was a child. for an entire day. ah. good times.

i'm willing to... give it a shot. if you are.

aw, that's sweet.

you're beautiful. i am a lucky man.

i know it might sound strange, considering we haven't known each other for very long, but i've come to... care for you. a great deal.

now's as good a time as any to talk, right?

i'm so grateful that you're... you.

let's get back to... what we were up to before.

i hope it hasn't... put you off.

anyway, uh, sorry about that. i'll take it from you right now.

great. they just love me.

i was just thinking about you! isn't that a marvelous coincidence?

now that i've handled that with my usual deft brilliance, time to move on! and take a cold bath, maybe.

locking the door and throwing away the key was plan b.

is it just me, or did i do really badly back there?

don't look now... but. well. look now!

i don't think we're alone. i really don't think we're alone.

all right! let's go!

oh? you want to... right now? well, who am i to refuse?

um... that sounded better in my head. i just meant to say that i can't imagine having done this without you.

we're not exactly traveling in the lap of luxury here.

you feel that? it's actually colder up here.

is this place even on a proper map?

look at it all!

i'll be... standing over here. until the blushing stops. just to be... uh. safe. you know how it is.

maybe it likes you?

swooping is bad.

what is it, then? rats running amok? cheese supplies running low?

i see you can't sleep, either.

i was just thinking... here i am doing all this complaining, and you haven't exactly been having a good time of it yourself.

why are you smiling like that?

that just seems so excessive.

are you just making these up right now?

now that's dedication!

it's all been death and fighting and tragedy.

make fun of you? perish the thought.

old books. you think any of those might still be readable?

do you get the feeling things are just getting worse as we go up?

more crazy? i thought we were all full up.

i thought maybe i could say something. tell you what a rare and wonderful thing you are to find amidst all this... darkness.

they say you can get anything here. i once got pick-pocketed.

this is where the nobility come to get drunk and debate who's the most self-important of them all.

we get lost, people die, and the next thing you know i'm stranded somewhere without any pants.

now that's just unnecessary.

have you ever licked a lamppost in the winter?

can't... keep my eyes open. someone... pinch me.

where do you think they get all this stuff?

oh! here i am! and there you are! you just disappeared!

why do they call it a brothel? there's no broth. or is there?

we're not going to be mobbed, right?

now that is a big tree.

i hate you. you're a bad person.

i'm not falling asleep again!

we seem to be heading... up? yes. i think these caves are going up to the surface.

can we expect more of those?

what is that smell? fish? and something else. oh. more fish.

uh oh. i'm terrible at puzzles.

i know most guys would probably leap at the chance to be with you, but i don't know if i'm ready for that. it's a big step.

maybe i should touch them. or stand on them?

pleased to meet you. nice campfire you have there.

let's try not to get lost here.

bluff called! damn! you saw right through me!

i think there's something ahead. something big.

you have my condolences.

and here i was going to name one of my children after you.

you seem more "ooh, pretty colors!" than "muahaha! i am princess stabbity! stab, kill, kill!"

i gazed, glanced in that direction, maybe. but i wasn't staring. or really... seeing anything, even.

what? lead? me? no no no. no leading. bad things happen when i lead.

they're really quite tasty.

we take our ingredients, throw them into the largest pot we can find, and cook them for as long as possible until everything is a uniform grey color.

watch as i thrash our enemies with the mighty power of floral arrangements!

i will overpower you with my rosy scent!

i was looking at your nose.

your desire is my command.

i guess that must make me sound like an idiot.

just what every man wants to hear.

now if we could move right on past this awkward, embarrassing stage and get right to the steamy bits, i'd appreciate it.

[soullikethesea]

More parts stuff

I woke up still feeling connected to Fox, and with a book in mind. Remembered that Fox really loved that book. The theme of the book is grief and wondering about being bad.

"Why am I made the way I am? Why do I care about all the wrong things, and nothing at all for the right ones? Or, to tip it another way: how can I see clearly that everything I love or care about is illusion, and yet – for me, anyway – all that’s worth living for lies in that charm

A great sorrow, and one that I am only beginning to understand: we don't get to choose our own hearts. We can't make ourselves want what's good for us or what's good for other people. We don't get to choose the people we are.

...

A self one does not want. A heart one cannot help."

(From The Goldfinch, by Donna Tart).

It connects to Fox, but to younger parts as well. I felt that conflict so strongly, that who I was was bad. And that, at the same time, there was no escaping it. I could try and try and try, control as much as I possibly could, but my real self would still shine through. I still cared too much, cried too much, loved too much. The best I could do was hide it, but I could never change it - no matter how much it disgusted me.

Fox carries that sense of being unable to escape it and being rejected by adults. Longing for people to please, please care. Please be kind. Please love me. Please welcome me with open arms. Please tolerate me.

I was lucky that my sister tried to help me when she got older. I could feel that she felt sorry for me, that she realized something unjust was going on. She was constantly nauseous, which later turned out to be psychosomatic. She must have been super stressed out from how unsafe things were. My brother was too small too understand. He was very much in his own world.

When I feel connected to Fox, I feel connected to those heavy feelings of badness. It is a responsibility that does not belong to me. It does not belong to you, dear Fox. You don't have to make yourself as small as possible in the hopes of not being offensive. Yes, you are a teenager and teenagers can be difficult to connect with for adults. But perhaps you can think of your sister - she saw something in you that was worth helping? And our mom's new boyfriend, he also connected to you, didn't he?

He must have seen *something* in you, right? And was it hard to connect with him? No, it wasn't. So were you *really* that hard to connect with? What did it take? It only took him showing you where constant snacks were available, that he had a very shy cat that he still loved nonetheless, that he had a gay daughter who was still more than welcome, that he asked questions and read a book you mentioned, that he asked you if you wanted to join for activities. Those things felt threateningly nice. Heart-meltingly, devastatingly, terribly nice. It still makes me cry to think of it. *Someone* saw you and didn't think you were terrible, too much, needed to be reduced. Most adults in your life, Fox, they were overwhelmed. They had no space in their hearts to connect - and that was not your fault. You could have been much happier in different circumstances and much more loved. I'm with you in this shame and grief that was not your fault. I'm with you in the anger about how much it still holds you back. I wish I could scoop you up and save you. You're not too old to be saved, darling. I think you might like to read another book. It's called "A Closed and Common Orbit".

A quote:

"In that moment, she could feel a bridge stretching between her as she was right then – giggling and gasping in a spaceship kitchen – to her at four years old, sucking algae gunk from her nails in the dark. She felt as though she could reach out to that little girl and pull her through the years. Look, she’d say. Look who you’re gonna be. Look where you’re gonna go."

I'm not saying that life is perfect now, but we are more comfortable now. More accepted. Less scared. And you are welcome here as well, Fox. You don't have to carry the pain and bury it along with yourself. I'm sending cozy blankets and hot chocolates and hugs and caring looks and peace and quiet. I'm sending the message along that in this moment, right now, things are alright.

[mesillusionssousecstasy]

Sense8 : Season 1

What a disappointment.

The scenes were too long, for not enough story.

At the end of season 1, we still don't know who are the Whispers and BPO and what they want.

Some parts were also too boring.

Worse, the characters couldn't even speak in their own language. Apparently, in India, Kenya, Korea, Germany every people speak only english. Come on.

It would have been great if Lito, Hernando and Daniela could have been a throuple.

Also, so many sex scenes without any reason. They are in an extreme dangerous situation, but they find the time to fuck. Seriously.

Some quotes:

"- Anything I could to keep myself separate from the rest of the world." (Episode 1)

"- Music... books... booze. You know, you just look them right in the eye and you lie. It's what we do. It's called acting." (Episode 2)

"- We all know when people are lying to us, we just don't want to listen." (Episode 2)

"- Even now... you don't know how to act like a man." (Episode 4)

"- Visiting is not calling or texting someone. It's not something you make happen. It is something you let happen." (Episode 4)

"- If your enemy will not be humbled, destroy him." (Episode 5)

"- I was suddenly struck by her beauty and the knowledge that... all beauty is temporary." (Episode 5)

"- Decay and death haunt every breath we take." (Episode 5)

"- In Iceland, we have a saying that it's not the drugs that make a drug addict, it's the need to escape reality." (Riley - Episode 6)

"- Hey, you are so lucky. - No, I'm not lucky. - Privileged, not lucky." (Episode 7)

"- You make music, Riley, and for a moment, people forget the troubles in their lives." (Episode 7)

"- You think you're better than the rest of us. - Not better or worse, just different." (Episode 8)

"- Only if one assumes that a master's in economics constitutes a smart mouth, as opposed to educated. - Many educated people are quite stupid, and many stupid people like to start fight for no good reason." (Sun - Episode 8)

"- We make choices... and life has a way of making us pay for them." (Episode 8)

"- That's what men do, they make threats. And you, more than anyone, know they have the ability to carry those threats out. - And you, more than anyone... you know that their threats and even their violence.... cannot touch the things that matter." (Episode 8)

"- What the fuck you talking' about, Gorski? - Not fair? - This is the real fuckin' world. - Nothing's fair." (Episode 8)

"- You keep using "us" and "them". Who are we? - Who we are is less relevant than what we are, and what we are is different from them." (Episode 9)

"- I know how that feels." (Episode 9)

"- But at a certain point, I realized there's a huge difference between what we work for and what we live for." (Episode 9)

"- Can we just fast-forward to the end of this shit?" (Episode 10)

"- Killing is easy... when you can feel nothing." (Episode 10)

[awellboiledicicle]

i keep coming back to the mental image of dot trying to explain cow tools and just losing her shit every time. because it's a funny, absurd, silly little comic of a cow and things that the caption insists are tools but have no obvious purpose. It's hilarious.

But if absurdist humor isn't a big thing in Faerun the whole gang is going to be sitting there like "Oh, so our de facto leader is fucking nuts"

Even the whole concept of motivational quotes would seem kinda wild. Because yeah they get the concept of 'cool words to inspire people', speeches are literally that. But also like. A random quote saying your dreams don't work unless you do is a bit... abstract. Add in that Dot clarifies at some point that the purpose of the quotes is less "become inspired" and more "have just enough inspiration to make it through whatever exceptionally soul sucking task you're handling rn" and it would just seem like. very fucked up.

"Oh no, it absolutely is fucked up. Capitalism is a cancer upon the human condition and is rapidly killing the human spirit."

"Another quote, i take it?"

"Oh no that was just off the dome. Don't get me wrong, y'all seem to still be in feudalism, which is not GREAT but I don't have to work a desk job so i'm fine with that."

"So is everyone just... miserable all the time? You work, you eat, you sleep, then you die?"

"Oh pretty much. The only ones that aren't miserable are very lucky, honestly. I'm very serious about it killing the human spirit. I don't think anyone i knew wasn't at least a little dead inside."

"That's.... Gods, was there anything good there?"

A long pause.

"Cats. The food. People when we weren't being ground down. Nature, when you could see it. Books were cool too, when i had time to read them. When you only have real, human suffering in the world, people would come up with all sorts of good fiction about things going right. Or going even more wrong, just to see where that'd go." A shrug. "It wasn't all bad there, the main problem was the fact society got built up to be about your labor being your worth and if you didn't produce something in high enough quantity for your bosses, then you were worthless. It was a cultural thing rather than a person literally sitting there making you feel that way. So, like, you'd have spans where it was fine and then spans where it was worse. So, like here i imagine."

"And you treated this spiritual ennui with... quotes."

"Oh and alcohol and drugs. I just couldn't afford those so I read a lot. Being numb or disconnected was a good way to make it through the day, but watch out." When no one laughed, she coughed. "Basically, yeah. I get through most days by thinking about which quote applies and if i can't find one, i'll make one up. Oh, and little comics help. Like cow tools."

"Right."

"Don't give me that look, okay, i got by. And now i'm here, saving the day and figuring out why the worms in our heads aren't killing us yet. It all worked out and now i have other things to worry about."

[lucky-clover-gazette]

kings rising highlights & annotations

chapter 6

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

Damen watched Laurent enter with his first adviser Vannes

LET’S GOOOOOOOO

The little brow furrows as he searched for vocabulary, the ‘How do you say—?’ and ‘What is it called when—?’ were gone.

awww cute that damen noticed them before :’) sweetheart

‘It’s lucky for him he speaks our language so well,’ said Nikandros, as they returned to the Akielon camp. ‘Nothing involving him has anything to do with luck,’ said Damen.

Their camps, they agreed, would be kept separate.

ah, the sitcom “line down the room” solution

The Veretians were scornful too, in a different way. Akielons were barbarians who kept company with bastards and walked around half naked. He heard the snatches of what was said on the edges of their camp, the ribald calls, the jeers and taunts. When Pallas walked past, Lazar wolf-whistled.

this reminds me of the two factions from the infamous avatar the last airbender episode “the great divide.” also look, new gay people!

And that was before the more specific rumours, the murmurings among the men, the sidelong speculation that had Nikandros in the warm summer evening, saying, ‘Take a slave.’ Damen said, ‘No.’

so it’s like a social expectation. but he’s still not doing it. even LAURENT does it (kinda), although he has much more to prove than the akielons

He buried himself in work, and in physical exercise. During the day he threw himself into the logistics and planning, the tactical groundwork that would facilitate a campaign. He plotted routes. He set up supply lines. He commanded drills. At night he went alone from the camp, and when there was no one around him, he took out his sword and practised until he was dripping with sweat, until he could no longer raise his sword but only stand, his muscles trembling, the tip of his blade pointed to the ground. He went to bed alone. He undressed and sluiced himself down, and only used squires to perform those menial tasks without intimacy. He told himself that this was what he had wanted. There was a working relationship between himself and Laurent.

no this is so sad, but so relatable. breakup behavior transcends worlds

There was no longer—friendship—but that had never been possible.

tell that to laurent, who allowed himself to become your friend and sexual partner, fully aware of the fact that you killed his brother

He had known it would not be some stupid fantasy of showing Laurent his country; of Laurent leaning against the marble balcony at Ios, turning to greet him in the cool air overlooking the sea, his eyes bright with the splendour of the view.

HE 🗣️ WAS 🗣️ WATCHING 🗣️ THE 🗣️ ROAD

To Kastor, he sent only a single message: I come. He didn’t watch that messenger depart. It’s not naive to trust your family. He had said that, once.

damen. girl.

love the conflicting themes of trust here. damen needs to learn that he can’t trust everyone to have intentions as noble as his, and laurent needs to learn that some people in the world can be trusted to have noble intentions. mistrust makes them both feel alone—laurent takes comfort in that loneliness, because it means no one can hurt him, but it also means that he’s never truly relaxed or vulnerable (in a good way). damen feels awful with the loneliness of mistrust, and wants so badly to reach out and make connections with people even when the flags are very, very red.

Guion was a man in his late forties, with an indoor figure.

does “indoor figure” mean “not fit” because that’s so funny 😭 let’s not bruise the man’s ego by calling him out of shape, he’s just an indoor cat instead

When he saw Damen, Guion bowed in the same way that he would have bowed to the Regent: deeply, sincerely. ‘Your Majesty,’ said Guion.

bitch.

Damen had come here to learn what he could of the Regent’s plans, but there was only one question rising to his lips. ‘Who hurt Laurent at Charcy? Was it you?’ ‘He didn’t tell you?’ Damen had not spoken alone to Laurent since that night in the tent. ‘He doesn’t betray his friends.’

i love damen. he is giving laurent the distance he requested, despite it breaking his (damen’s heart), but he’s also still fiercely protective of laurent behind his back. to the extent that his questions about guion hurting laurent feel more important in the moment than tactical ones about the regent. laurent pretends not to care in an attempt to lie to himself, but damen is only pretending in front of laurent to respect his wishes. he’s not lying to himself about giving a shit, and hasn’t even tried since like chapter 6 of book 2.

also - “he doesn’t betray his friends” implies that damen doesn’t see laurent’s poor treatment of him as betrayal, because knowing the truth now about laurent’s awareness, damen would never expect laurent to have considered him a friend. this gives book 2’s “friends? is that what we are?” a whole new layer of complexity.

'I captured him on his way to Charcy. He was brought to Fortaine, where he negotiated with me for his release. By the time he and I came to our arrangement, he had spent some time as a prisoner in the cells and had suffered a little accident to the shoulder.'

to be fair, i think this is what laurent would want guion to say, and might have even dictated to him exactly. anything else would make him sound weak. but damen knows laurent better than that, and can easily read between the lines.

‘You put Govart,’ said Damen, ‘in a cell with Laurent?’

run.

‘Yes.’ Guion spread his hands. ‘Just as I helped to bring about the coup in your country. Now, of course, you need my testimony to win back your throne. That is politics. The Prince understands that. It is why he has allied with you.’ Guion smiled. ‘Your Majesty.’ Damen made himself speak very calmly,

being a king sucks, you can’t even throw hands with the guy who had your divorce husband tortured because said divorce husband is using said guy as a political asset

‘Did the Regent know who I was?’ ‘If he did, having you sent to Vere was rather a miscalculation on his part, wasn’t it?’ ‘Yes,’ said Damen. He didn’t lift his eyes from Guion. He watched the blood rise and mottle Guion’s cheeks. ‘If the Regent knew who you were,’ said Guion, ‘then he hoped that when you arrived in Vere, the Prince would recognise you, and be provoked into a blunder. Either that, or he wanted the Prince to take you into his bed. The realisation of what he’d done then would kill him. How lucky for you that didn’t happen,’ Guion said.

the regent failed to anticipate the secret third option: laurent knowing exactly who damen was from the start, accidentally falling in love with him and semi-purposefully gaining a powerful ally, taking him into his bed despite the brother killing, having a messy breakup about it, but still remaining a powerful duo of world leaders unified in wanting to take him (the regent) down

‘You swore a sacred duty to hold the throne in trust for your Prince. Instead you turned on him, for power, for personal gain. What has that won you?’ For the first time he saw something genuine flicker in Guion’s expression. ‘He killed my son,’ said Guion. ‘You killed your son,’ said Damen, ‘when you threw him into the path of the Regent.’

i think this has one of two meanings, diverging with the interpretation of guion’s line.

damen: you swore to help the prince, but then you turned your back on him for personal gain. so did you gain enough to justify that decision? guion: (briefly genuine) meaning #1: i lost my son when the regent’s manipulations resulted in his (aimeric’s) death, so actually i lost something. meaning #2: the prince ended up being so mean to my son that he killed himself, so he wasn't deserving of my loyalty. damen: you’re the person most responsible for aimeric’s death, because you let the regent use him as a political pawn and sexual object.

i’m really not sure if it’s meaning #1 or #2 here. #2 might not make sense at all, because it’s not guaranteed that anyone told guion the details of laurent’s reaction to aimeric’s betrayal—it had only been damen, laurent, aimeric, and jord in the room, right?

regardless of guion’s meaning, damen’s response still stands. and at least it hurts guion emotionally, if not physically. it’s almost like damen is finding himself turning into laurent, acting the way laurent did in the court of vere. he can’t take the direct route, so he has to be backhanded and cruel instead.

He had not dealt with Makedon. Round one came when Makedon refused to accept the extra rations available to his troops from Fortaine. Akielons didn’t need pampering. If Veretians wished to indulge in all this extra food, they could do so. Before Damen could open his mouth to respond, Laurent announced that he would likewise change the provisions among his own troops, so that there would not be a disparity. In fact, everyone from soldiers to captains to kings across both troops would receive the same portion, and that portion would be determined by Makedon. Would Makedon inform them now what that portion was to be?

jesus christ laurent (affectionate)

Round two was the skirmish that broke out in the Akielon encampment: an Akielon with a bleeding nose, a Veretian with a broken arm, and Makedon smiling and saying that it had been no more than a friendly competition. Only a coward feared competition. He said it to Laurent. Laurent said that from this moment on, any Veretian who struck an Akielon would be executed. He trusted the honour of the Akielons, he said. Only a coward hit a man who wasn’t allowed to hit back.

in a way, damen helped laurent with that one, since he’s the honorable akielion who told laurent the same thing in book 1.

It was like watching a boar try to take on the endless blue of the sky. Damen remembered how it felt to be coerced to Laurent’s will. Laurent had never needed to use force to make men obey him, just as he had never needed men to like him in order to get his way. Laurent got his way because when men tried to resist him, they found, sweetly outmanoeuvred, that they couldn’t.

he thought to himself, with heart-eyes,

(i don’t think anyone here is interpreting laurent as “sweet” but you, damen)

In fact, the way Laurent’s men talked about their Prince now was not substantially different to the way that they had talked about him before: cold, ice-cold, except now he was cold enough to have fucked his brother’s killer.

:)

No one was looking at Laurent. It wouldn’t have mattered if they had been. His face showed nothing.

but damen looked at them not looking, and thought of laurent, because this is marlas they’re talking about

‘I’ve been there before,’ said Laurent. ‘Then you’re familiar with the area,’ said Nikandros. ‘That makes it easier.’ ‘Yes,’ said Laurent.

He wanted . . . he didn’t know what he wanted. For Laurent to have looked at him when Nikandros had announced that they would travel to the place where, six years ago, Damen had killed his brother.

messy messy

A rueful flicker of guilt: he knew that these men breaking curfew would not expect their King to appear and admonish them personally. His presence was ludicrously disproportionate to their crime, he thought.

damen kingship theme

‘Stand,’ said Damen, ‘like the men you think you are.’ He was angry. The men, standing, perhaps did not recognise that. They didn’t know the slow way that he came forward, or the calm tone of his voice. ‘Tell me,’ he said, ‘what it is you are doing here.’

wait no we are totally seeing the laurentification of damianos

The boy was badly bruised, and he could not stand under his own weight once the ropes were cut. Damen lowered him to the ground. More had been done to him than target practice. More had been done to him than a beating. They had put an iron cuff around his left wrist, like the gold cuff around his own—like the gold cuff around Laurent’s. Damen knew with a sickening feeling in his stomach exactly what had been done to this boy, and why. The boy didn’t speak Akielon. He had no idea what was happening, or that he was safe. Damen began to speak to him in Veretian, slow, calming words, and after a moment the boy’s glazed eyes focused on him with something like understanding. The boy said, ‘Tell the Prince I didn’t fight back.’

oh fuck, laurent would be horrified by this. it’s like an echo of nicaise and aimeric’s victimhood, and the only reason the boy hadn’t fought back was laurent’s threat. that lack of self-defense goes against so much of laurent’s own values and behavior, and he’d be disturbed to realize how he had inadvertently disempowered this vulnerable person.

‘Makedon of the north,’ said Damen. ‘You were a friend to my father. You fought with him for almost twenty years. That means a great deal to me. I respect your loyalty to him, as I respect your power and need your men. But if your soldiers harm a Veretian again, you will face me at the end of a sword.’

okayyyy so we’re starting to see a hint of where the kingship theme is going—damen getting past the whole “this is how it’s always been done, so i have to do it the same way” idea, and approaching “well i’m the king now, and this is what i think should happen instead”

‘You walk a fine line with Makedon,’ Nikandros said, on his return to camp. ‘He walks a fine line with me,’ said Damen.

YES BITCH!!!

‘Bruising, a broken rib,’ said Paschal. ‘Shock.’ ‘No, I meant—’ He broke off.

aw. damen really has come a long way, in terms of how he sees veretians. i think some of this is laurent-related, but i also think that damen is now extending the honor he’s always shown his own people to people he wouldn’t have considered worth honoring before the series’s events.

‘Thank you,’ said Damen. He heard himself continue, ‘I don’t expect—’ He stopped. ‘I know that I betrayed your trust, and lied to you about who I am. I don’t expect you to forgive me for that.’ He could feel the incongruity of the words, falling awkwardly between them. He felt strange, his breathing shallow.

i really appreciate paschal’s role in this story. a male figure in damen and laurent’s lives who cares about them both, but doesn’t give a shit about their sex lives in the slightest. paschal has always been kind of grey re: the war between akielos and vere too, evaluating people based on their individual qualities rather than their political allegiances. thanks doctor dad, you’re a real one.

‘We all do what we have to,’ said Paschal.

mysterious old man is mysterious…

[the-way-astray]

"First, let's remember the fact that this poll WOULD NOT EXIST if Sophie was a boy. Like at all. You'd see these flaws and think that made her/him actually realistic."

You're right! And we don't actually need to imagine Sophie as a boy to see this phenomenon at work. There's a male character in this very series that has most of the flaws OP listed.

His name is Keefe.

Let's break this down, shall we?

"I cannot think of any likeable qualities that Sophie has."

A subjective opinion. I'm disregarding this since there's no way to either confirm or deny. I feel the same about Keefe, but I recognize that that's just a me thing.

"She also has little to no flaws, and the ‘flaws’ that she DOES have don’t impact the story in any way, and they’re only played off for laughs and are, essentially, meaningless."

This person did not list any of these so called "meaningless" flaws that are supposedly "played off for laughs", so moving on. Keefe also has little to no flaws, and the ones he does have are often played off for laughs. One of Keefe's biggest flaws is the way his guilt masks his reasoning abilities, making him stupid and run headfirst into danger. Here's a quote: “‘See, but “smart” isn’t my brand. I’m more “reckless dream guy without a care”! It’s part of my whole “bad boy” image.’” (Legacy, 95). See how Keefe jokes about his stupidity, making it out to be trivial? If that's not "play[ing] off [flaws] for laughs" then I don't know what is. As for "meaningless", see how Keefe's flaw of recklessness still, nine and a half books in, has not been reflected upon, developed, or changed from? If that's not a "meaningless" flaw, I don't know what is.

As for Sophie, I cannot think of a single time her flaws are played off for laughs (there might be something, if there is, tell me). If you're referring to her clumsiness or so-called obliviousness, neither of those are character flaws. She's just clumsy and she gets made fun of for it. It's not that deep. People around her find it funny that she can't see that she's the object of three crushes, and make fun of her for that (which is, admittedly, slightly less amusing). That's not a flaw. Flaws Sophie has in the beginning include her inability to stand up for herself and her tendency to run into danger. Both of these are at least somewhat developed by the time book nine rolls around. Do I like the way it was executed? Not really. But I can say that there has definitely been some development there. A flaw cannot be meaningless if it has been developed and grown from. Therefore, Sophie's flaws are not "meaningless".

"Additionally, all the fucking characters are either in love with her, like her, or are evil. I hate it."

This statement actually applies to neither Sophie nor Keefe. The three characters that dislike Keefe to some extent and are not evil are Ro, Grady, and Tam. As for Sophie, there's Stina. Stina is not evil and does not like Sophie. Yes, she is villainized by the story for not agreeing with Sophie, but she is not evil: Stina is just another fifteen (fourteen?) year old girl who is caught up in a rebellion. Because of some very, very poor writing choices, all the development she received in the eighth book was hopelessly and mercilessly mangled. However, she is still on the team in the ninth book, and she does make some very good suggestions and points here and there. And in Legacy, before the great massacring of her development, she and Sophie did not like each other, yet she still was seen as an important part of the team and appreciated for her efforts. So despite the fact that she is villainized, she is not evil, yet she does not like Sophie.

"At this point in the series, Sophie has FIVE FUCKINF ABILITIES (where most characters only have one, or maybe two if they’re lucky)."

I assume the person who wrote this is completely up-to-date on the series. "At this point in the series", Sophie's abilities have been very obviously overshadowed by Keefe's, who is even more OP than Sophie is. At least all of Sophie's abilities are abilities that have been heard of and studied and such. All of Keefe's abilities, with the exception of empathy and polyglotism, are brand-new and incredibly overpowered. And it always annoys me when people state the literal premise of the series and then go and bash it without thought. Have you maybe considered that Sophie's OPness is the point of the series? Perhaps Messenger is trying to tell us that, at a certain point, it doesn't matter how strong or powerful you are, wits and good planning will always take precedent. Perhaps this is a segue into more development on Sophie's recklessness, which is the exact opposite of good planning, which she will need if she wants to take down the Neverseen. Maybe before saying "This character is OP!", think about why that's a bad thing. Yes, OP characters don't tend to be the greatest if they just win every time and hose down the enemies without breaking a sweat, but in KOTLC's case the literal exact opposite happens. So what point was attempting to be made here, I cannot say.

"She is honestly…so fucking stupid. Like, it’s not even funny at this point. Not only has she burnt down a storehouse with enough evidence to basically convict all of the bad guys, but she also tries to JUSTIFY her actions, saying that she was burning all their supplies (while also burning the things her organization needed)."

If you think Sophie is stupid, you better fucking think Keefe is stupid, too. He is literally the stupidest character in the entire series, hands down. He gave Sophie a tracker from the Neverseen, brought back false caches, compromised Alluveterre, gave the Neverseen some of his blood, thought he could sneak into Ravagog by himself and take on the ogre king by himself when he's never even seen the place before, and he couldn't stay out a conflict even if every single person was screaming at him to. The things I listed here are only a tiny piece of the full scope of his stupidity, by the way.

With regards to what was said about Sophie, this part stands out to me: "she burnt down a storehouse with enough evidence to basically convict all of the bad guys". Do you know how the elvin justice system works? They don't do evidence or witnesses like humans do. They don't have lawyers or prosecutors or a jury. The Council literally just decides if a person's guilty, and if so, what their sentence will be. (Think Alvar's trial.) And the Council are fully aware of what the Neverseen are doing. I bet they even have their sentences picked out. Trust me, no evidence is needed. (Side note: I'm not saying that's a good system, by the way. I'm just saying, given the circumstances, evidence is not necessary, and everybody knows that.) Evidence is not what matters here, what matters is winning the war.

And yes, she does try to justify her actions. While, certainly, I think that Sophie could've been smarter on that front, we have to remember that she is not a full-grown woman. She's a fifteen year old girl. Her decision was reckless, sure, and it was guided by emotion, absolutely. But we have to remember that Sophie's fifteen. The series also acknowledges that? The first thing Forkle does when Sophie gets back is sit her down and walk her through her thought process and have her learn from her mistakes. That is character development.

But wait, you may say. Keefe is also fifteen (sixteen?)! Doesn't that mean that we should excuse his actions on the basis of age, too? Not quite. Keefe ignores good advice. Plenty of adults advise him not to do something he ends up doing later on down the line. They tell him not to go to London, with good reason. He does it, and drags Sophie into it because she's tearing up her mental health over what will happen if he goes alone. They tell him not to go to Ravagog alone, with good reason. He tries to, anyway. They tell him to follow Lady Cadence's lead when in Ravagog. He ignores that, as well. Keefe actively chooses to disregard good advice even when provided with every logical reason to. He's an emotional thinker. Sophie simply gets caught up in the heat of the moment and her reasoning goes out the window, which is not the same as being an emotional thinker. Nobody specifically instructed Sophie not to start the fire and provided good reasons for that beforehand. Is getting caught in the heat of the moment a good thing? No. But it is a far cry from actively disregarding good advice because your feelings are hurt.

And the last thing I will say about the storehouse fire is that Sophie is grilled over that decision several times by several people. Where has Keefe ever been grilled, over and over, for losing the caches? Or for giving Sophie the tracker that got her attacked? Or for compromising Alluveterre (which, by itself, is a way worse offense than the burning of the storehouse)? Or for giving up his blood? Or for any of the countless reckless, stupid things he has done? Never. Grady calls him out on it a few times, then Sophie strokes his ego and he throws himself a pity party and the matter is entirely dropped. Why the special treatment for our poor, misunderstood Keefe? May I remind you that the only reason Sophie even went looking for the caches in the storehouse is because of Keefe's own stupidity? Why do I never see any mention of that? The answer is that it's all a matter of perspective. The series repeatedly shoves the storehouse fire in our faces, so we as an audience see it as a worse offense than all those things Keefe has done because they get dropped quickly and easily fade into the background. You could almost forget about them. I bet most people don't even remember that Keefe compromises Alluveterre, and for no good reason, at that. Why? Because it's a small, throwaway detail. If you are going to call out Sophie for the storehouse fire, you best be calling out Keefe for the hundreds of equally stupid or more stupid things he's done, too.

"She’s also said to be clumsy throughout the series, but the SECOND she needs to use a knife, bam; she’s amazing at it, and has perfect fucking aim."

This is definitely true of Keefe. Have a quote for proof: “'Oh, so that’s how it is?' Keefe shouted, whipping one of Sandor’s weird throwing stars at him. The silver blades clipped the figure’s shoulder, tearing his cloak and making him drop his end of the net.” (Exile, beginning of Chapter 58) (I don't have a physical copy, sorry). This is Keefe's first time using a throwing star. And he hits the figure. And on his very first time sparring, he beats the literal ogre king, even though he'd had no battle training up until that point. And I'll finish with a quote that summarizes my point: “‘Ugh, I shouldn’t tell you this, since it’ll just make you think I’m even more messed up than you already do---’ [. . .] ‘All I know is, weapons and blood don’t bother me the way they bother other people, so . . . yeah. Feel free to think I’m super creepy---’” (Flashback, 161). He's literally less affected by violence and blood than other elves. He's able to train easier. If that's not OP (for a KOTLC elf), I don't know what is.

Now what about Sophie? It's true that she's pointed out to be a "quick [] study" by Bo while learning to throw knives, which Sandor says is because she's "special" (Flashback, 515). But compared to Keefe, she really isn't overpowered at all when it comes to battle training. And I wouldn't say it's the "SECOND" she needs to use a knife; it's specifically stated that it takes her a while to get into the rhythm of things: "But by the time her lesson was finished, she'd found a rhythm [. . .]" (Flashback, 515). She trains just like everyone else. It's not actually that OP. And unlike Keefe, she is affected by blood, as shown by her reaction to Sandor's rigging the dummy with lushberry juice. So I would say Keefe is more OP in this regard, and strangely so.

"Also, all of the guys are in love with her."

Also applicable to Keefe. He's described to have girls literally lining up at his locker to give him presents. He's described to be very attractive, and we know that Biana and Shayda Adel are only two of many, many girls to have had a crush on him (canonically).

"All of them."

Simply not true. Tam isn't in love with Sophie, for example (and thank goodness for that). It seems Jensi isn't either.

"I also find it annoying how she always goes on and on about how she has a different view on the world, since she was raised by humans or whatever (she lives in a world with elves), but she actively avoids and/or tries to sympathize with elves that have no ability, making them feel worse in the process. She has no idea what it’s like to feel powerless in a world where you’re surrounded by power, and I fucking hate that about her."

Keefe did not grow up with humans, so I cannot make a claim that he's like this. However, in Sophie's case I don't even think this is true. Sophie never "goes on and on about how she has a different view on the world". That's Forkle and the Black Swan about what their hopes for her were. What Sophie "goes on and on about" is the fact that she's the moonlark and that she was designed to have a role to play in what's happening. Aren't these the same? No, they are not. Sophie asserting that she's meant to be a part of the fight to bring down the Neverseen is not the same as asserting that she's meant to have a different world view. Now, is asserting that she has a part to play in the "war", as I'll call it, any better? I would say not really, but I also don't think she really believes it herself. Sophie is fifteen. I believe she's internalized what Forkle has projected onto her, his hopes and desires for her, and is simply parroting that dogma back. I don't think she actually wants or thinks that. I think this is simply an example of how she's been manipulated by the adults around her, even those with supposedly good intentions. But that's just my interpretation.

As for "she actively avoids and/or tries to sympathize with elves that have no ability", I have no idea what this says. I assume it meant to say "she actively avoids trying to sympathize with elves that have no ability", which is blatantly incorrect. There are several instances where she thinks about how unfair the matchmaking system is to them or just how unfair things are for them in general. This quote in particular comes to mind: “'Seems kind of unfair,' Sophie mumbled. 'You can’t control how much talent you’re born with. Why should you live a lesser life?'” (Keeper of the Lost Cities, Chapter 16). This is what she says when Edaline explains that the talentless have their own city (basically segregation) for "their kind of work".

As for that statement about power . . . ability restrictor anyone? In a world where abilities equals respect, status . . . power. She was stripped of her . . . abilities. She became talentless. Powerless. And it crushed her. She literally went into a period of severe depression over it, remember? So this is also blatantly untrue.

I would say that statement is more applicable to Keefe than it is to Sophie. Yes, Keefe didn't have much power in his abusive household, but he refused to let that make him powerless. He fought back any way he could: he drew, he pulled pranks, he got in trouble. He has never been put into such a state of powerlessness as Sophie has been. He always had something.

"Finally, she decided that even though her friend was fucking going to die/being tortured/black swan secrets were going to be leaked/being forced to betray all of his friends, it was more important to get a hot date instead."

I . . . have no idea what this is referencing. A little clarification does wonders. I assume this is referring to how much time Sophie spent with Keefe when Tam was with the Neverseen? I have no idea. And when does this so-called "hot date" take place? As I recall, that's the book where Sophie and Fitz are tentatively dating. But this couldn't be referencing Fitz, because Sophie doesn't talk to him one-on-one in that book at all, except once when she's recovering, once when they break up, and once when they make up after Tam has been rescued. So . . . what is this "hot date" that I apparently missed on my reread? What??? If this is referring to Sophie's quest for her biological parents, yes, I do agree that priorities could've been shifted and Legacy was unnecessarily focused on romance (in my opinion, but I'm aro-spec, so take it with a grain of salt, I guess), but we also need to understand that Sophie is a fifteen year old. And she does eventually move the biological parent search to the bottom of her priorities list: "We're pausing the biological parent search." (Legacy, 521).

And what about all the times Keefe puts Sophie above his other friends, just because he has a crush on her, just as Sophie put her dating life above Tam? He uses his emotional breezes only for her, with one exception in Nightfall. He could've used one on Fitz in Flashback when he was getting worked up over Alvar. But he never does. Why is that? Because he doesn't think to. Why doesn't he think to? Because Sophie is always his top priority. And this is not good at all. He reserves his breezes and his sad backstory almost exclusively for Sophie, because he prioritizes her over everyone, because he has a crush on her. How is this any different from Sophie prioritizing her dating life over Tam's situation (and feeling incredibly guilty about it, may I add)? Why do I never see anyone talking about that? It's largely the same thing.

"My hate for Sophie Elizabeth Foster is a burning, inferno of passion. Hate does not even describe it."

My hate for Keefe Sencen is a burning inferno of passion. Hate does not even begin to describe it. This is made more annoying by the fact that nobody every calls him out on his shitty behavior, while simultaneously proving that they find certain qualities he has annoying by calling them out in other characters.

(Everything I wrote here is expanded upon a lot in my grand Keefe rant coming soon.)

HOT TAKE TOURNAMENT!

PRELIMINARY #261

Submission 493

Sophie Foster from Keeper of the Lost Cities is a terrible protagonist.

I cannot think of any likeable qualities that Sophie has. She also has little to no flaws, and the ‘flaws’ that she DOES have don’t impact the story in any way, and they’re only played off for laughs and are, essentially, meaningless. Additionally, all the fucking characters are either in love with her, like her, or are evil. I hate it.

Spoiler territory after this.

At this point in the series, Sophie has FIVE FUCKINF ABILITIES (where most characters only have one, or maybe two if they’re lucky). She is honestly…so fucking stupid. Like, it’s not even funny at this point. Not only has she burnt down a storehouse with enough evidence to basically convict all of the bad guys, but she also tries to JUSTIFY her actions, saying that she was burning all their supplies (while also burning the things her organization needed). She’s also said to be clumsy throughout the series, but the SECOND she needs to use a knife, bam; she’s amazing at it, and has perfect fucking aim. Also, all of the guys are in love with her.

All of them.

I also find it annoying how she always goes on and on about how she has a different view on the world, since she was raised by humans or whatever (she lives in a world with elves), but she actively avoids and/or tries to sympathize with elves that have no ability, making them feel worse in the process. She has no idea what it’s like to feel powerless in a world where you’re surrounded by power, and I fucking hate that about her.

Finally, she decided that even though her friend was fucking going to die/being tortured/black swan secrets were going to be leaked/being forced to betray all of his friends, it was more important to get a hot date instead.

My hate for Sophie Elizabeth Foster is a burning, inferno of passion. Hate does not even describe it.

Propaganda is always encouraged!

And remember to reblog your favourite polls for exposure!

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Can we have more Jason x Disabled reader? Maybe where he turns all squishy and adorable and apologetic when she snaps at him, because she feels like he's underestimating her abilities. With a lot of fluff, please.

"What are you doing?"

You open your eyes slowly and look at Stephanie, scowling. "Saying a prayer for patience," you huff.

"Why?" she stage whispered.

"Because if I say a prayer for strength I'm gonna need bail."

Steph winced in sympathy and plopped herself down in your chair, petting Cola when he pawed at her. "One of those days, huh?"

"I'm not made-"

"Steph get out of her chair," Jason groused, "There's like-"

"Fucking christ," you yelp, "I'm not made of fucking glass! All day long you've been following me around like if I sneeze too hard I'm gonna fucking die. I get that I'm broken, okay? I know. But- but-"

"Y/N," he said wincing, reaching for you.

"Just stop," you tell him, swatting his hands away, pinching the bridge of your nose, trying to stop the swell of frustrated tears.

"I'm just gonna- yeah- bye-' Steph said, slinking out of your office, feeling awkward.

For a long moment, all Jason can do is stare. Watching you try to choke back sobs, shoulders shaking. And when the weight of it all bore you to the ground, where you sank to your knees and just rocked yourself, seeking any comfort you can find, hugging the dog that wormed his way into your arms. He feels like an asshole.

It was easy to forget, when you were in pain, when you needed help. That you survived on your own for a long time. That you found a way to keep your siblings fed and clothed. That Bruce hadn't just scooped you out of an orphanage. He'd busted you running the books on illegal street races.

"I'm sorry," he said, lowering himself down next to you slowly. He didn't reach for you though. Cola wouldn't have let him. He knew that, even though he was letting you cry into his fur, the dog was still standing guard. He liked the rest of the family. But you were his person.

Broken.

He hated it when you used that word. You weren't broken. You weren't defective. You were... you. And when he watched you hurt. Watched you struggle- he wanted it to stop. He wanted to make it better.

"You're not broken," he murmured.

"I am though," you sputter. "And I know it. Fucking physical therapy. Doctors. What good is it? I don't need reminded every fucking day that no matter how hard I try I can't do it. I just can't."

Cola whines and leans against you, laying across your legs as you wipe your face on your sleeve.

"What good is it?" Jason asked softly, "What do you-"

"Fucking useless."

"Useless?" Jason blinked at you. "Y/N, have you met you? You can give Alfred attitude and live. You can solve ciphers faster than any fucking person I've ever met. You saved all our asses because you followed a hunch we all thought was a dead end."

"Luck-"

"Bullshit," he said fiercely, snatching tissues off the desk for you. "There's nothing fucking lucky about it. That's skill. You survived on the fucking streets- sweethear- Y/N, you can't do that with luck."

"I had help-"

"Don't," he warned, watching you wipe your nose, "Stop giving people credit where they don't deserve it. You did that. You're still doing it- and I'm sorry. I just-" He broke off and took a deep breath. "Just smack me next time, okay? I just- the last time you fell it just. It scared me."

"I fall all the time-"

"I know," he said, cupping your cheek in his hand gently. Your face is hot. Too warm for comfort and your hands are shaking. "But Jesus Christ." He could still hear the thud of your head hitting the floor. And the way you protested that you were fine, pushing away anyone who tried to help you up. "I know you'll be fine but- I won't."

"Jay-"

"I love you, okay?" he breathed, "It sucks knowing that every second of every day you're in pain and there's nothing I can do but watch while you suffer-"

"Jay you can't-"

"Love you?" he scoffed. "Fuck you mean I can't? You quote Hamlet at Bruce when he's whining- Beautiful that ship has sailed. I'm ruined and I can't-"

Your lips crash into his and all Jason can do is hold on, cushioning the fall when he melts into the floor. He can't even be mad about the dog hair that's going to be all over his back. All he knows is that right now, he never wants to let you go. And he's never going to to make you cry like that again. Not if he can help it.

[empressofdiamonds]

What do you do in your free time? Do you have any suggestions about valuable activities to do instead of scrolling social media o wasting time online? thank you <3<3<3

I do art, mostly. Yeah. A lot of the time. All the time.

Books, novels, non-fiction, biographies. B(dash)ok(dot)cc is an incredible resource if you're broke.

I write in my journal. I sometimes put in what happened today, my feelings, sometimes I just put down quotes from newspapers, magazines, books, online, etc.

I do a LOT of hikes. I'm incredibly lucky as there's like 5!!? long hike paths very close from home.

I go tea shopping. I can even go as far as the next villages over to check out the new arrivals, or restocks.

I do roadtrips with friends. Sometimes it's multiple days, sometimes it's one evening. We prepare music playlists with good bangers or new genres we want to make others discover.

Solo picnics or picnics with friends.

I go at the dogpark every week. I meet there new interesting folks, talking about dogs is such a EASY topic.

In the summer I sometimes do memory refresh classes for my horse riding skills. I've done classes for almost eight years, but I've stopped since I moved to superior studies but I sometimes return to refresh my memory.

Again, sometimes I just go on horse hikes. It's pretty chill in comparison to classes.

I sometimes assist a family member's astronomy (not to be mixed up with astrology!) conferences. He is highly interested in this stuff, I'm a bit less interested but those meets are incredibly informative. (Like the good spots to check out the milky way in its entirety)

Sometimes I contact far away friends to hit them up and like travel and see them. I see every friend at least once a year. It heals the heart to see old faces.

I focus on my language learning skills. I (ambitiously) think that I got English down, and now I'm focusing on German, I'm still like a wobbly little fawn in this new language but consistent work will get me somewhere!

When I feel I got extra time I give some of my time to freelancing work.

[neechees]

I know jkr is a terf but how is she a racist

There have been like multiple posts detailing why extensively over the years & I'm surprised if you apparently haven't come upon any at all & google is a thing but you're lucky because my hatred of JKR is big so I'll give you a short rundown fueled by this hatred. Also I might've forgotten something but in short:

Just. The whole thing with the muddle/pureblood thing. This is reminiscent of white supremacy + antisemitism & how they tend to view Poc, mixed race, & Jewish people, but when asked to address the (correct) accusations & criticisms of racism in Harry Potter, JKR essentially said "well its just a book, I don't think its going to have a big effect on anything IF there's racism in it" (thus dodging the question, didn't actually address the racism in her books, & was comfortable with making wizard racists for her hyper popular shitty series but can't be bothered to talk about its racism?)

The fucking. Goblin race that run the banks?? That's like textbook antisemitism?

Asian people have pointed out discomfort with her turning Nagini into an Asian (Indonesian I believe?) Woman who can transform into a snake, played by Claudia Kim, who then becomes an evil white dude's eternal servant & his horcrux

Gave her Chinese character 2 Korean Surnames instead of a Chinese one

Made an entire race of creatures that are slaves, like being slaves, the ones that dont are considered weird, & Hermione was considered a nuisance & embarrassing for trying to change their situation (even worse when you consider one vers of Hermione is Black, in the musical I believe?)

Thought Indigenous kids + magic/spirituality + a boarding school was somehow a good combination & not at all a bad idea (like UHHHH HELLO? RESIDENTIAL & INDIAN BOARDING SCHOOLS?? Our kids were literally being sent to those to be assimilated specifically FOR our spirituality & "magic" (or "devil worship" as it was called") & this literally just clashes wish oyr actual hustory, doesn't make any sense, & is disrespectful. Native kids today STILL have trouble in school bc of how racist the education system is & Natives' trauma with mandatory schooling)

The trailer for said American magic school spinoff livermony shows two Native girls being burned alive for practising their spirituality

Used Native spirits as "houses" analogous for Hogwarts, which she had absolutely no business doing (and oh btw these spirits are also subservient to the white colonizers who founded the school) & there's also the use of sk!walkers because of course there is

Her newest shitty (violently transmisogynist) book features a serial killer who dresses as a woman as a disguise while killing in. A headscarf. She's adding Islamophobia to her list of bigotry I guess

Fantastic Beasts is suspiciously white & not that diverse despite being set in 1920''s Harlem, New York. Her response to being called out was, quote, "Everyone in fantasticbeasts is not white." (Like. 4 poc total in the entire movie where 3 of them are extras doesn't count)

In general this cunt literally dodges any and all criticisms of her racism while maintaining a mask of progressiveness. Oh and being a t/erf automatically makes you racist btw

& there's probably more shit that I don't know about but yeah JKR can eat shit & die.

[lustbile-archive]

Good Morning

KunxReader (Requested)

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: Smut & a little fluff. Daddy kink and “punishment”

You weren’t one for asking for what you wanted, and honestly? You weren’t really to blame for that either.

From the moment Kun even caught feelings for you, you had him wrapped around your finger. He perked up every time you spoke, did anything you asked, always made a point of asking how you were doing, all because you were his baby.

This phenomenon only got worse once you started having sex. One pout or whine from your lips and he’d melt. You wouldn’t say you were particularly bratty, but you liked to be taken cared of, and Kun was more than a willing participant in your nonsense. Especially if your nonsense gave him the opportunity to rough you up a bit.

Yeah you were his baby, and he loved you, but something else that he deeply loved was watching you cry underneath him. And lucky for him, you liked the things he would do that made you cry.

One morning, you woke up in search of one of those reasons to cry. You weren’t sure what brought it on. Maybe you were just horny, so much that your body craved something you hadn’t gotten in awhile. Maybe calling it a punishment wasn’t accurate, considering how much you enjoyed yourself when it happened, but something in your gut told you that you needed some pain to alleviate the distracting need between your legs.

You didn’t get punished often, with you getting pretty much anything you wanted you didn’t really have a reason to act out. Misbehaving wasn’t really something that interested you anyway with Kun, so it seemed to you that your best form of action was to simply tell him to punish you. But maybe not with so many words.

The book he held was thick and clearly had all of his attention. The paperback was gripped tightly in his fingers, his eyebrows threaded together as he squinted at the words. He looked almost angry as he read, and as he sat slouching on the living room couch, his legs bare and set wide as he had gotten up only an hour or so before you. You couldn’t help the dreamy sigh that you let out when you peaked at him from around the corner from the hall. His loose white t-shirt had pulled up when he sat down, exposing the line of hair that formed on his lower stomach, this combined with bulge that showed through the thin fabric of his underwear made you feel like you were going a bit crazy.

The soft fabric of your socks dragged against the hardwood of the floor as you emerged from your hiding place to get to him, and he loudly grunts when you finally reach him and immediately and ungracefully drape yourself across his lap. You press your face into the couch and begin to wiggle against him, letting out a whiny sigh when he rests his book against your back as his other hand moves to rest on your upper thigh.

“Why aren’t you wearing any pants?” you ask, your voice muffled by the couch cushion. Your words are quickly followed by a pleased hum rumbles from you at the feeling of his calloused fingertips brushing against the sensitive skin of your thighs.

He quietly laughs at the question, softly tapping the book against your spine, “you’re not wearing pants either.”

You thoughtfully hum, tilting your hips to force his hand closer to where you needed it, hoping he would begin get the message, “and what are you going to do about it?”

“Hm?” he questions as you turn your face to look at him from the corner of your eye, “am I supposed to do something about it?”

“You could,” you shift again, his thumb finally pressing into the hem of your underwear, the feeling of fabric and your words making him softly smile, “if you wanted to… daddy.”

You add the word quietly, but you still feel him stiffen under you when it reaches his ears, a small groan hitting yours in response.

“I can?” he plays along, trying to keep the tone casual, but you hear the slight strain that lies beneath. You melt into him when he uses his thumb to push the seat of your underwear slightly to the side, his fingers only lightly brushing against where you really want his touch, “you want a punishment for something you’re allowed to do?”

You grumble as you feel yourself start to slip into a more petulant attitude, “it’s not like I’m gonna get punished for doing something bad, I do whatever you tell me.”

“Hm that's true,” he quickly agrees as he reaches up to run his hand over the curve of your ass, “then I guess since you're such a good baby for me you should get what you want.”

He punctuates his words with a cracking slap that fills the room, his hand harshly meeting your flesh, making you yelp.

You feel him place his book on the couch, next to your arm, before he grabs your hip to move you closer to his chest. He adjusts your body to get a better hold on you before landing another stinging slap against your skin.

The muscles of your thighs tense as they press together, a desperate attempt at relieving the pressure between your legs. You can already feel yourself becoming wet from the pain, as your chest swells with pride at getting exactly what you wanted. You knew you would. You always do.

“Is this what you wanted?” he asks, with full knowledge of your answer before you can even speak, “you like it when it hurts?”

“Hmm yes,” you buck back into his hold, one leg falling from its place on the couch to dangle off the side. Your toes painfully bump into the floor when he lands another hit at your skin, but the buzzing heat from your ass distracts from any other feeling.

“Always so good,” he mutters to himself as he lovingly inspects the bruising skin. He adds a few more quick, sharp swats to your skin before his fingers wrap around the elastic of your underwear, “now let’s see how much you’re enjoying this punishment,” he says the word in a way that, if his hands weren’t busy, would warrant air quotes.

You quietly sob, turning your face to press back into the couch. Something about the way he tugs the garment down, the fabric scratching at your tingling skin, makes you flush in shame. You whine into the cushion when your underwear hit the floor and your boyfriend groans at what he finds.

‘Sweetheart,” he starts, his fingers prodding at you as he gently spreads you apart for his greedy eyes, “you’re already dripping baby. Is this just from a few hits?”

“Yes,” you squeak while trying to press yourself tighter against his roaming fingers, but he only pulls away to hit you again.

“Yes what baby?” he asks, his voice holds an air of authority as he speaks but you know him well enough to hear the sadistic pride he has from asking.

“Yes daddy,” you respond almost immediately, your feet kicking slightly in impatience.

“That’s right,” he hums in content, his hand running over you in an attempt to sooth the burn his hand left behind, “always so good for me.”

You can’t help but keen at his praise as you lean further into his touch. Your eyelashes begin to flutter against your cheekbones when his free hand moves to scratch at the base of your skull as the other finally reaches to gently pet at your clit.

“You just lay down and let me play any way I want dont you?” his questions rattle in your head, but quickly slip away as you’re too wrapped up in the soft pleasure that begins to run up the length of your spine. Slow circles are rubbed against your buzzing bundle of nerves as your fiery skin is being cooled by the morning air that moves through the room.

Your nails grit against the weave of the couch’s fabric when he moves from your clit to dip the tips of his middle and ring fingers inside you, only reaching past the first knuckles before he’s tucking his bottom lip snug between his teeth and groaning around it.

He pushes his fingers as deep as they can reach, before they slightly curl inside of you. Your legs fall open even farther as you go lax from the way you stretch around the digits. He savors the way you gently clench around his fingers, his eyes unmoving from where your body greedily sucks him in, before he slowly removes them.

“So wet,” he speaks to himself as he looks at the evidence of your arousal that you’ve left on his fingers, before he swiftly presses them back in, “and all for me.”

You whine as he begins a gentle pace of fucking you on his fingers. The stimulation is not enough to make you come, but enough to get you worked up and desperate against him.

“Kun,” you hiccup before quickly correcting yourself again, “daddy please.”

“Please what baby?” he beams at the name that slips past your lips, both at receiving the title and at the fact that your mind had gotten so muddled that you had to correct yourself, “gotta use your words or I don’t know what you want.”

“Need more, please more,” your hips begin to roll in sync with his fingers moving in and out of your body, your toes bumping against the floor again.

He only makes a noise at the back of his throat in response, before he’s moving his hand from your neck to crawl between where your hip presses against his thigh. His forearm lifts your hips up as he reaches underneath you to meet his other hand to return the soft pets to your neglected clit.

His fingers unintentionally pick up pace once he’s paying attention to rubbing four fingers flat against your clit. The way you're covered completely by his hands and the way your legs begin to gently shake making it feel like someone is sending electric shocks to his brain.

Your body immediately reacts by meeting his motions once again. Your hips now make small circles in the air, and your toes begin to curl. Your eyes close tight and a mean smile stitches itself onto his face as he watches you squirm.

The stretch of his fingers are suddenly ripped away as he pulls back before landing another biting slap against your skin. You squeak at the unexpected feeling, as until then you had completely forgotten the sting of your raw skin.

He swats at you a few more times, before he moves to smack at where his fingers were only momentarily pressed into before. The sting and shock of being hit where he was just pulling you apart, makes you begin to rut against the fingers rolling against your hypersensitive clit.

A sadistic laugh rumbles his chest, before his fingers find their place back inside of you, his pace quicker than the one he kept earlier.

“I need you to come for me baby,” he speaks sweetly as if he’s not the man turning your skin different darker shades and lighting your nerves on fire. His tone is almost condescending as he fucks you roughly on his fingers, “want you to come nice a pretty for me.”

His fingers are unrelenting as you move in hopes to come like he’s asked, both for your own pleasure and his. Something about the way his usually soft voice has gone gruff at the actions you two have started in the middle of the living room, makes your skin crawl in the best way possible. You only shake harder when you feel his chest press momentarily against your back, so he can lean over a spit harshly at where his fingers drill in and out. His thick saliva drips against your skin, and is quickly collected on his fingers and shoved inside of you. You can only babble and moan as it makes you fish around him more.

“Fuck Kun,” you swear as his words tip of the pressure in your lower stomach to begin to build. The way his fingers curl, makes his knuckles dig into a spot inside you that makes your head spin as you begin panting and whining into the air. You feel his fingers struggle to keep their pace when you clamp down hard as you begin to come.

It feels as if the fingers on your clit pick up even quicker to make up for the shallow thrusts he presses into you, the pleasure the motion brings is almost overwhelming as you subconsciously try to squirm away amidst your blinding orgasm. He tenses his arms to lock you against him as he stimulates you through the pleasure. Your legs thrash against the couch as you lose control of your rolling eyes, your orgasm bleeding into what feels like every nerve of your body.

He pulls his fingers out slowly when you begin to whimper in his hold, but he continues to barely roll his fingers over your clit in both an attempt to help you calm down, but also to enjoy the way you twitch every few seconds. Once your orgasm subsides, the sleepiness from having only woken up about an hour ago begins to crawl back into your skull and makes you sink into the couch.

You hear a soft sucking as he moves his fingers to his mouth, a quiet grumble of happiness vibrating the skin of your hip where it meets his torso when the taste of you hits his tongue. You feel your eyelids start to droop when he moves his still damp fingers to knead the tense muscle of your thigh.

You do nothing to suppress the dopey smile that you begin to wear. The intense feeling of coming now over, making your body relax into him. You don’t remember the thought of speaking forming in your mind before the words are spilling from your lip, “good morning daddy.”

He leans down pressing a small kiss onto your burning skin as he laughs quietly to himself, somehow finding the spot that stings the most and makes you hiss, “good morning sweetheart.”