#you're going on a rant about it in tags you are obviously nor in the headspace for a fair and nuanced critique of term usage

[dragonlights]

.

[kanvis]

⊹₊⟡⋆Jealous! Jealous! Jealous! Girl⊹₊⟡⋆

!!tw: none (SLIGHT angst) ((depending on how you look at it :p))

pairing(s): childhood friend!katsuki bakugou + reader

tags: childhood friends! to enemies??? (but its one sided???), JEALOUSLY (bkg), one sided pining (bkg), (BAKUGO IS SO OOC MB!!)

synop.: it was always you, katsuki, and izuku. sometime after it was found out that izuku was the only one out of the three of you to not receive a quirk, katsuki makes you choose between him and izuku.

"c'mon. it's me or him."

"you can't make me choose between the two of you katsuki..." you're small voice responds to the blond-haired boy standing in front of you.

izuku stands behind you, trying to prevent the tears that were currently welling in his eyes from falling down to his cheeks. the small burn mark on his arm making it evident that katsuki had something to do with it.

katsuki stares at you for a few seconds before shifting to issue's shaking form. his eyes meet you again before scoffing.

"fine. then you're both losers."

from that day, it was always you and izuku.

izuku seemed to become a much more quiet and withdrawn person as you both got older. preferring to remain silent at school, likely out of fear. however, it was like night and day when you two were alone.

izuku spoke of his hopes and dreams when you were alone. long since given up the hope that he would spontaneously develop a quirk. instead, he dreamed of something like a supersuit that would sill allow him to be a hero. like the american hero iron-man (like you were supposed to know who that is)

you smiled, listening to one of his rants, wondering how this was the same boy that was terrified to speak in front of the class.

"alright class, quiet down so we can begin class"

with that, the various conversations quieted down and your classmates begin to make their way to their desks, including one of your former best friends, katsuki. he doesn't spare you a sour look as he passes your desk.

katsuki always confused you. you had assumed that what he had said the day you two stopped being friends meant he was going to treat you the same way he treated izuku, but you were wrong.

katsuki was never outwardly mean to you. never an insult, never a cross word, never laying his hands on you. the only thing he ever did was give you dirty looks. the few times he had to interact with you, he was neither nice nor mean. in fact (not obviously to you) the only times he seemed to give you these dirty looks, was when you were with izuku.

katsuki confused you to no end. and it seemed you would never get and answer to your questions about how he felt about you.

you were wrong. you did get answers. not until the three of you made it into u.a. your second day. day one of combat training. you and izuku vs. iida and katsuki.

"don't you get it?! i refuse to lose to deku. especially when it comes to you."

LMK IF YALL WANT A FULL FIC VER OF THIS (i'm making one anyways :pp) ((lmk if you want to be tagged))

[strawberryradiodemon]

Even if you do add asexual, ace or aromantic to the search there's gonna be those "no fictional thing should ever have to present anything accurately or respectfully ever" people like "as an asexual you have my permission to do whatever you want with alastor's asexuality!" like... who tf asked them? they have an agenda they're trying to push, they do not speak for the ace community as a whole 🙄

Yeahh, even with the aro and / or ace tags we're not entirely safe unfortunately.

Such things do annoy me, I'm not gonna lie. I can understand that romance positive aros, sex positive aces or those who still have sex / are in relationships/ etc use the "aro/ace people can still date / have sex" or remind people that it's a spectrum and some still feel these type of attraction because yes, that's true.

But what annoys me is that saying that to people annoyed about the constant sexualisation/ shipping of Alastor is basically siding with the non aroace spectrum people using that "aroace people can still feel that/ do these things!" who saw that and ran with it purely to be able to continue with what they want to do.

Yes, asexuality and aromanticism are spectrums. Yes, some feel the attraction. Yes, some don't but still engage in these activities. And if you're on the aroace spectrum and it's your case obviously I'm not going to shame you for putting alastor in such scenarii because you're using a character like you to relate, and still acknowledging his aroace identity. The problem is that most people putting him in these situations totally disregard his aroaceness. And when as an aroace (spectrum) person, you say "people can still ship him, I do! Aroace people can feel these things or do them!"... You're basically enabling their erasure of his identity. Deep down you're right, but non aroace people don't care about that, and don't do these things the same way you do.

That's why, to non aroace people shipping alastor, I will remind them that he's aroace. And clearly not on the part of the spectrum where he still feels those things, nor is he interested in pursuing them.

And to the people on the aroace spectrum, I will just say, please, don't mistaken their words for a reel need to showcase the variety of our identity, because most of the time that's not what they want. You don't forget his aroaceness in the way your ship him, they do. Ship him all you want, because I know your heart is in the right place. But please don't defend the others.

As a loveless aroace, it pains me to see him constantly shipped and sexualised by everyone (even though that's clearly not what he'd want), and these things being defended.

I thought I had found a character I could relate to, that I could search stuff about him peacefully without seeing all kind of romantic and sexual stuff. I've been proven wrong, and it hurts. And the excuse they use hurt even more, because it feels like we're only palatable or interesting if we can still feel these attractions sometimes or engage in those things. As if alastor being a loveless aroace is a disappointment, that they *need* to ship him to be satisfied, for him to be enough.

Sorry for the rant, I definitely repeated myself, but I wanted to take the opportunity this ask gave me to give a bit of my opinion on this.

Tldr: I have no problem with aroace spectrum shipping him because I know they keep his aroaceness in mind. I have, however, a problem with non aroace spectrum people doing that because they erase his aroace identity completely AND use the diversity of it as an excuse to continue doing so. And it pains me to see fellow aroace people defending that, because I feel like they don't realise how those people ship him.

[honeyhotteoks]

i'm just...... going to rant under the cut for a minute because people have been on my last nerve today BUT for all of you lovely readers of TNT who are kind and wonderful, i want you to know i wrote basically all day today and i'm making progress on more!!

anyways ranting under the cut...

tw - discussion about homophobia/rude comments etc.

so i received a pretty aggressive anon message earlier about the sanhwa scene in TNT... and i already deleted it because honestly i found it fairly offensive, but to that anon if you're reading this.... not cool. i understand that not all people are into m/m fic... but telling me it was ruining the fic and that i should have been clearer about tagging and warnings? it's genuinely been bothering me all day and kind of offending me. i write m/m pairings as part of my work all the time - you can see it in aurora, and definitely in my husbands series (fucking obviously).... and it's going to keep happening.

while i would never assume the real members sexualities (it's obviously none of our business), these are fictional characters and representations. they can be whatever i want them to be IN FICTION. if that offends you or troubles you or isn't sending the plot in the way you want, go find something else to read.

i also should not have to mark an m/m relationship in a fic with the same severity as a trigger warning. it isn't triggering, it's a relationship pairing. if you prefer other pairings, go elsewhere, but don't expect me to bend over backwards in my work on my blog to make queerness palatable for you.

this combined with some frankly rude messages on ao3 are just doing me in today. i understand that not everyone wanted to go down the woosanhwa road, but i wrote this fic for me and that's what i wanted. their relationship is meant as an intentional foil for yungi, the heats are supposed to be starkly different to help the MC understand herself and her feelings. y/n isn't perfect nor are any of the other characters and that's the fun of it. if you just want smut, find one-shots to read.

i just want to remind people that if you're writing comments on ao3, putting comments in your tumblr reblogs, etc., the author is going to read them!! be kind. if you don't like something, stop reading. your constructive criticism / helpful suggestions aren't necessary, they're rude. i'm not a published author, i'm a random on the internet posting fic for free, i don't want or need your negativity or your supposed help. you need to get a hobby or try writing something yourself.

anyways that's it. i'm kind of shocked at how negative a few of y'all have been given how overwhelmingly kind and positive everyone else has been. but i'm beyond shocked at the thinly veiled homophobia in my ask box earlier. what you said you said to a queer person and it hurt, and very quietly i'd like to ask you to do better and to not message me like that ever again.

i'm going to go back to writing now. and if there's a wild gay makeout session later in this fic, it's fucking dedicated to you.

[trashbins-stuff]

Hello. I have seen that you have been tagged by @neobixiscool on one of their posts. I am planning to make a rant post on them. If you can provide some background info and your side of the story, that would be great. If you feel uncomfortable discussing this, that's ok. Have a good day/evening.

rub hands together like flies. my time has come/silly 😋😋

and thank you for coming to me :3 i appreciate it/gen also i get to go all cabby on this hehe

oh and, im not really hurt-hurted by them, i feel like mocha (mochablogger), liam (moonmxple) and mac (blairdrawzstuff) are most affected. They did have a book with my character in it but in a different universe or something (without my consent nor credit btw). Anyway under the cut is my observant. Honestly i think i might have jsut make the rant post for you lmao hrgbnhe 😭😭

the background/before:

mocha was working on a little story and xe said we could be in it! so obviously me and my friends signed up for the fun, not really expecting anything, the story was called "The Traumatized Cup", thats when we first meet him.

In one of the chapter mocha had introduced rubix, at first i didnt really think much about him, i was just aware of his presence, i do notice him and mocha started to become friends and i thought that was great :)

something that you should probably contact cuppy for more info:

so rubix (or according to rubix, "jasp" was roleplaying) and mocha were friends on facebook, and they roleplayed there i think, this i just know but apparently he said crap about liam (mocha's platonic partner and my best friend). Mocha is very sensitive and even in roleplay xe's still uncomfortable with what rubix said

"bezel's" divorce headcanon (and possible influence on further problems):

i heard people talked about it but never knew where it came from, but thne i found out and,,

tdlr; 1st one is about mocha and rubix, i dont know if mocha consent to it. 2nd one is uh a bit weird i i guess like he could have ask facemoji to make another one ;-;. 3rd ah yes the divorce that i had heard about!/vneg

rubix said bezel forced him into making the 1st one, even if thats true, rubix said the divorce was bezel's headcanon but hes the one that decided to post the 3rd one ("okay i asked facemoji again..")

seem kinda sus not gonna lie..but what do i nose right :-)

bezel probably influence more but even after all these months im still not sure if he really did do those things, idk lul, it is pretty weird that bezel's blog was a sideblog though (liam told me)

heres a bunch of words with link attach, those r my opinions lmao:

these u can just click to read so i hope thats okay

on wattpad he have a book in which he painted mocha, hazel and blair as manipulative (admittedly his writing was good, he could have used it for something different though)

he also uses some of our characters (such as mocha cuppy, hazel, blair, harp, blueberry, winter, bin (mine btw), seedling, galaxy journal,...etc) he did the delete that book tho, anyway heres more screenshot proof (credit @moonmxple )

mocha asked liam and neobix said its cringe

i remember this one also

the one where he tried to ban pet name and online dating (in 2023) (check the comment and other reblogs also theres alot, its practically a goldmine/silly)

and can i say he barely knows our friend group? like sure he knows mocha but hes trying to fit into our group (very poorly)

please read what cass wrote in the comment (thanks cass for speaking out about it ily)

the ask i sent him

NOT to get all bitchy here but mocha blocked you therefore you literally dont appear anywhere on xer dash, you're out of xer life and xe had no reason to pester you, not everything has to be about mocha. You guy's relationship (or supposedly lack there of) had change but honestly? thats okay they dont have to like the same people that they liked yesterday. You might think you know that's them but it wasnt, mocha in real life is kinder and better than the version inside of your head and they're happier now and its so sad that you cant see (because you're blocked)

and again, not everything has to be about YOU

he also made it all about HIM like excuse me ???? can i not complain for little bit without you coming in and nag about your problem ??? if you're suffering go talk to someone dont talk to online strangers ??? :)))???????

bro cant even read a long paragraph post like go back to elementary school lmao, also reporting ppl just because they use their right to not forgive you is such a sore loser move, it make you sound like petty six year old (also max be spitting facts tho)

bro brought out HIS right (reporting mocha, which he actually cant do if he doesnt have a valid reason) while ignore MOCHA's right (not forgiving him, which isnt a valid reason for him to report xem). The definition of petty is literally complain way too much about unimportant things that could have and should have ended already

"you dont have to relate to everything you see on the internet, somethings are simply not about you" :)

did you know that to report someone you have to click alot of buttons??

common salad W <3333

oh yeah, this doesnt have links but jasp/neobix is being so casual abt bezel's death but also uses it as a way to make people feel bad for getting upset with what he did

Sorry for playing the dickhead role, but you wouldn't be laughing if you knew how we felt about every single one of you. (why it sound serious all the sudden lol)

why i still doubt (uh and heads up, galaxy brush, kodu, cuppy,..others who think @/rubixisanidi0t was saying the truth, im not saying he isnt but you cant blame me for not trusting can you? please skip this part if you're sensitive):

naw so if this was suppose to be jasp then whats jasp motive lmao :/..he dont gain anything from this + who tell people their secret plan publicly?? + how did jasp know about rubixs hallucination?? rubix please dont tell such personal things to jsut your friends and please just talk to an adult in real life. And jasp, dont let these kind of things on the internet its not safe/srs

this is just straight up weird and also why did neobix/jasp said "old friend" like hes rubix?? when he supposedly told rubix and i quote "yeah.. Soo.... This person named @/mochablogger seemed like some cool person, and when I tried to talk with them... Nothing happened, so when I figured they didn't care... It all happened at once." neobix/jasp and mocha werent even friend to begin with why was he SO obssess over getting mochas forgiveness when they supposedly barely interact much??

aint it a bit weird how this is supposedly jasp/neobix but why would they make this video??? it???doesnt make any sense?? and like were rubix and jasp still good friend??? why wood bezel make jasp of all people do it??? unless yk

HOL UP, WAIT A MINUTE..if rose jelly dated rubix but rubix tunred out to be jasp then..WHO IS ROSE JELLY ACTUALLY DATING??????

if @/neobixiscool is suppose to be jasp then how did he get a screenshot for a show rubix was making???

i translated it and head up. it has death threat in it

you know, if someone stole my account and ruin my reputation i wouldnt be following them and be mutuals with them :)

i appreciate him saying hell save us but like..why would @/neobixiscool linked the real rubix's yt and discord knowing full well that the real rubix was there and could told joiners the truth??? that seem kinda dumb ngl also on the channel you can find a video called "waitng for forgiveness" which @/neobixiscool had talked about. and lets do a bit of timing here, if rubix really was telling the truth and havent been on social media since his alst post on @/rubixcuix (last posted in august) and the divorce arc and the roleplay thing and EVERYTHING had started in september, and if the yt belonged to rubix, then he shouldnt have known that mocha didnt forgive him and make that video????? bc he wasnt suppose to be there since august??? bc if anything he shouldnt be waiting for forgiveness bc if jasp really did steal his tumblr account then its not his fault?? like i find it absoltuely HILARIOUS that the evidence agaisnt what rubix said was on both the account @/neobixiscool AND @/rubixisanidi0t's PINNED post?? and it boggles my mind how no one talks abt this???/lh/nm i mean its quite obvious maybe im jsut really observant though idk

if you got your account stolen and jasp supposedly brought back a wattpad book, i dont think you should be continuing it?? and didnt you said your reported him on wattpad?? on the same account where the book is?? why are you acting like "yes i did promise them this and im fully aware of what happen even though i supposedly havent been here since august and i will continue this book" has it hit you?

uh yeah so these are just my silly little takes, but hey! what do i nose? :-)

[calebs-hangout-corner]

(Long happy/?? rant incoming. Sorry, I just saw your account and had to talk to someone about this)

Ough. I've been thinking about when I read the original The Ghost Next Door book and it honest-to-God changed my mind or something because no book I've read so far is as of high reputation in my mind as that. Maybe it was because I was younger and hadn't read as much, but I have had it in my head for like a month now to Get That Book for myself. My school library has like twenty or so of the books but not that one!! When I saw the Goosebumps collection I was like "NO WAYYYY" but then I got really disappointed when it wasn't there. I need to ask the librarian if they can get it LOL.

Anyway, I remembered it again after going through a nostalgia blog and I searched the tag. Lo and behold, there was your blog! I don't remember any of the other plots very well (from the ones I read; the bookshelf where I originally read it was TINY and barely ever had GB books), nor any of the characters aside from Hannah and Danny, but nevertheless I'm enjoying your Goosebumps art and content a lot. Btw your art style is awesome. :D

I'm now desperate to find somewhere to watch the original 90's show. I've seen it's on Google Play or whatever and Microsoft, but I need to look into that. Help is appreciated, if you know where.

But I guess my question is: what books do you recommend? I like both the standard and the choose your own adventure ones (idk if there are any others). I read/started reading The Haunted Mask, The Werewolf of Fever Swamp, Welcome to Camp Nightmare, The Ghost Next Door (duh), Let's Get Invisible, Monster Blood, The Cuckoo Clock of Doom, The Girl Who Cried Monster (I think. That's the one where the guy eats the bugs or whatever, right?), Escape From Camp Run-for-Your-Life, You Can't Scare Me, Scream of the Evil Genie and/or Be Careful What You Wish For (one of them, lol, maybe both. I think it involved a cola can?).

Any suggestions would be appreciated! Thanks for reading this long-as-hell ask and also thank you if you respond! Obviously, no pressure. Hope you have a great week and good things come your way!

P.S., you got me to start listening to the Goosebumps the Musical: Phantom of the Auditorium soundtrack and it's so good.

-👻🪐 (I hope emoji anons are okay, just in case there's a follow-up ask or something)

Hello!!! This message is very sweet and I had fun reading it, thank you! I'm sorry it took me a day to respond, I was a little busy!

I hope you're successful in finding the book. My library has the opposite problem: It has no books except Ghost Next Door (germany doesn't really sell them anymore, so they're hard to come by, even in libraries). Also, all the Goosebumps episodes you can find on YouTube somewhere! There's many reuploads of them.

As for books I'd recommend, you've already read a few of the ones I really like! But if you need more my favorites you haven't read from the series' you mentioned liking include:

- Phantom of the Auditorium (but like the book version! Very good, very fun, really emphasises the "the gang shares one braincell" part)

- Werewolf Skin

- Calling All Creeps

- Night of the Living Dummy 1 and 2, I've heard the third is good too but that one actually didn't manage to hold my attention, but maybe it will for you!

- Welcome To Dead House (This one's fun)

- Piano Lessons Can Be Murder (I just think it's neat)

- A Night In Terror Tower (Again, I just think it's neat!!), This one also has a "Give Yourself Goosebumps" sequel book "Return To Terror Tower) I recommend aswell!

- Beware, The Snowman!

As for the Give Yourself Goosebumps books I'm like "Please Don't Feed The Vampire"

Those are the books I'm fond of. It's a bit of a list, I hope you don't mind!

[waitingforeddyneddy]

It wasn't about dogs, it was one of those posts about the sadness of the passing of the queen and what a figurehead she was. A lot of people shared it, British and otherwise. I didn't mention Phoebe Dynevor or Charithra Chandran here, but that other person has got a good grip on whataboutism!

I'm also not sure why you act victimized or make Simone out to be a victim when anyone dares to write her name here that isn't brown nosing, like her personal police or something. You have no actual grasp on what is and isn't a microaggression for a poc, nor do you actually care to listen and learn, but that's standard behavior from white people tbh. I know it's hard to grasp, but she will come up in asks on your page dedicated to every breath she takes.

Thanks for using lot of tags though, even if they end up getting flooded. Your parasocial behavior has reached far and wide.

lol a lot of words to say nothing, you think you're doing something when you tell me i'm a white woman so I can't speak on something? lmao

I never victimized Simone, if you feel bothered by someone pointing out that what happened to her during s2 promo than that's on YOU

just because you wanna sweep it under the rugs or don't care about it doesn't mean anyone else doesn't , white or non white

you obviously don't like simone why are you even here? Open a rant blog and do what I do you loser

also i don't get bothered by people asking me about simone, I get bothered by people's blatant attempt to drag Simone when I drag that man with made up stuff about her

JB stans I told you months ago I'm going to keep tagging him so feel free to block me and fuck off ok?

don't bother sending a reply you're going to get blocked

[sukibenders]

You should really be fucking ashamed of yourself for talking about Kate the way you do, for saying she deserves to be criticized. How fucking awful and evil. Imagine having the guts to say this about Kate and justifying Mary and Edwina. Imagine saying Kate was wrong and Mary had the right to be upset, imagine never wasting your pathetic time to write long ass posts about how both Mary needed to apologize to Kate for being a neglectful mother and for Edwina for being a fucking cunt of a sister who threw her sister under the bus first chance she got but finding the time to flood the Kate Sharma tag with hate posts disguised as good criticism. What a fucking piece of shit. Leave Kate Sharma the fuck alone. Leave her the fuck alone. Stop filling her tag with hate. Stay in your fucking lane. Worse than people who call her a whore. Worse. Fucking choke.

She can be scrutinized for keeping the Sheffields deal a secret from Mary, as those were her parents and she had a right to know. That doesn't mean she's a bad person, just that her plan didn't play out well. And I didn't even necessarily say she was wrong for seeking them out, as she believed that was her last resort, you just assumed that and ran with it.

She's allowed to make mistakes and I literally pointed that out, you're just too busy seeing it as something else. Those were Mary's parents, the same people who disowned her because she married Miles and wanted to be Kate's mother, the same people who use every opportunity to shit on her family and nearly drove it apart by making Kate move, the same people who embarrassed her and her daughters in front of everyone, so heck yeah she's mad. And she didn't even take her anger out on Kate, nor did I ever say that she should. She simply sent her a look and walked away, and the next scene everything was resolved. Imagine wasting your time making a rant in someone's inbox talking about how a fictional character didn't have a right to have feelings.

And I did put in my post how Mary messed up when it came to Kate, how she shouldn't have put all the weight on her, and I have said Edwina shouldn't of had called Kate her "half sister" nor take her for granted. You obviously didn't read anything I said, and just came into my inbox to rant about how much you hate Edwina and Mary. And, really, using misogynistic language now? How classy. You act high and mighty like your some defender of female characters, when as soon as one you don't like comes along (with people who like them) you can't find any other way of talking about them except for in derogatory manners. I like Kate, truthfully, and if I didn't I still wouldn't call her what you called Edwina, nor have I ever called her a whore, you're just projecting on to me when you should really reflect on yourself. And maybe learned some comprehension too, because if you had any you would see that I've never had anything hate wise to say about Kate, you just painted it as such because you didn't like me saying that she can be wrong. Which she can, as she's not perfect, and that's fine. Stop going up a wall just because someone else believes otherwise, and watch your mouth acting like you can dictate what people do. How about you stay in your lane and mind your business? Ever thought of that?

[noxturnallyevermore]

NOTHING of what you said so far, nor in your posts, has EVER read as "I support him being bi" it LITERALLY reads as you saying Eddie HAS to like women

I dont see you talking about his possible interest in men ANYWHERE, only him liking women and then you use "just say you hate bisexuals" as a coverup

news fucking flash, eddie liking women isn't canon either, it was never stated in the show that eddie liked chrissy

and if you want to bring up that joseph said that eddie possibly had a crush on her, then I'm bringing up how he said the same thing about steve

or if you want to argue his behavior towards chrissy, I'll bring up the same about steve

you come onto MY post, you say that my headcanons won't be canon when I said IN THAT POST that he at least has to be bi, then you say I have to get over the fact that he likes women when I've never said anywhere that I even care if he likes women or not, I literally said several times that my headcanon doesn't fucking matter because they CAN'T use Icarus, a gay icon, for something straight, then you called me biphobic when I called you homophobic because you ARE BEING HOMOPHOBIC

the topic was NEVER about him liking women as much as YOU tried to make it that way

then you go and make a post basically tagging that I'm pressed, literally just fucking tag me you coward ass bitch, when I literally tagged my post as a RANT and the entire time I was upset about ICARUS BEING USED FOR SOMETHING SUPPOSEDLY STRAIGHT, which you fucking ignored

I have said multiple times that I don't care about Eddie's sexual orientation besides him being straight because if he's straight, then that erases Icarus being gay for being associated with the likeness of a straight guy

if your issue is that you don't understand how icarus is a gay icon, fucking research it

do you not understand how hurtful it is for straight people to touch gay culture and make it straight? that's literally the definition of oppression, you dumb ass bitch

it doesn't matter if it's referencing a song because that song is from the 80s and icarus means something differently now than it did then, and EVEN THEN, that song can still be applied to gay themes just because it is about icarus and the sun and being betrayed by his father, which idk if you know this or not, but queer people get disowned all the time for coming out as queer to their parents, it especially happened more back then

so you obviously know WHY I'm pressed and it has nothing to do with Eddie liking women alongside men but rather Icarus being used in association with straight shit

either that or you can't fucking read and I'm starting to opt for the latter

and I'm sorry if English isn't your first language or if you have a reading disability, but you really shouldn't go and start shit like this if you can't read properly, especially if you plan to publicly talk shit about the people you're starting shit with

im tired, im done, im not arguing this anymore because you REALLY don't understand a SINGLE thing im saying and im blocking you

I fucking hate blocking people but you're annoying and talking to you is like talking to a brick wall, so fuck off, do some research, work on your reading skills

i was accused of being homophobic again lmaooooo

[leftovercheesecake]

okay so i'm going on a bit of a rant because I am PISSED about the current situation with Dream.

Before I start, let it be known that at the moment, I don't actively hate, nor actively support Dream, and the same goes for amanda. this is just something that I think some people need to realise.

tw for swearing, caps and me just being generally aggressive, as one would expect

and fyi I do use tone tags where they apply, if you think that makes me a pussy or some shit, please just fuck off because it's embarrassing that you think that 💀

So, to all the people involving themselves in the whole dream being a groomer thing, DO YOUR FUCKING RESEARCH. I am not saying dream is a groomer. I am not saying he isn't. I AM SAYING THAT IF YOU'RE GOING TO SUPPORT SOMEONE'S SIDE OF A FUCKING SOON-TO-BE LEGAL CASE, DON'T SUPPORT THEM BLINDLY.

Behind each side of this case, there's a lot of arguments and evidence. But guess what! Dream being your comfort streamer does not prove that he's not a fucking groomer! What would prove he's not a groomer is maybe some actual solid evidence! Who would've guessed?? /s

If you actually look into this argument, there's lots of reasons that tie dream into grooming Amanda. there are lots of reasons that tie into her lying about this. obviously, you're free to state your opinion on the matter. but if you argue with other people and you use the evidence "___ wouldn't do that!", im sorry, but you're a fucking moron. there's no other way to put it. You know absolutely fuck all about who they are as a person. it does not take a lot of effort to pretend to be someone you're not. anybody can do that.

I could wake up one day and decide to be exclusively kind and sensitive in front of other people and completely hide how mean and bitter I can be. and how do people know this? Because there's not one person that's never done it. Shocking, isn't it? /s

like I said, I don't have an opinion on this matter yet and I'm not here to tell you who you should and shouldn't support. but instead, I've arrived here to tell you all that blindly supporting Dream or Amanda is only making your argument worse. people will not take you seriously if you choose to look at a person that only lets you see what they want you to see and you say, "they wouldn't do that".

Instead of going with "hey, I'm more accustomed to this creator, I believe them", I'd either suggest looking at both sides of the argument and then make a decision or keep the opinion to yourself and only given an opinion when asked. Evan at that point I'd clarify that I'm not well-informed on the topic and I'm just going with what sounds about right.

And don't forget! It's not a sin to be wrong! If it turns out that dream did groom this girl, it will not kill anyone if you say "hey, I got this wrong and I accept that. You were right. I no longer agree with or support this person". It will not kill anyone if you say, "you were right, I was wrong, sorry this turned into a big deal"

Sincerely,

A very pissed off marin xoxo

[miraculouscontent]

I'm hoping this isn't some vague rant about you and your tags. I don't think you were trying to be racist or anything.

lol yeah, certainly not. Making that tag (if that's what they're talking about anyway; for context, it was concerning what Alya did in "Risk" and my tag was "#ALYA YOU HAD ONE JOB") a race issue is silly in the first place when the whole thing we've been talking about literally this whole season was that we were upset at the fact that Alya was handed Marinette's identity instead of having to realize first that there were limits to how far Marinette would go for her crush (ignoring Alya's role as well in that because we'd be here for like an hour otherwise, but basically, Marinette has wanted to give up multiple times and Alya has been against it, thus making it eyeroll-worthy when Alya chides Marinette for her behavior while not taking any personal responsibility herself).

Marinette digging her heels this deep in on the Lila subject should've set off red flags on The Journalist over here. Like--Marinette is friends with Kagami to the point where Alya thought Marinette was being stupid by wanting to comfort Kagami after her break-up with Adrien when Alya wanted to force Adrienette instead (and then she wonders why/complains when Marinette goes after Adrien so hard :\).

And yet, even when Alya was handed the free pass of "hey, Marinette obviously has a reason to hate Lila which you should know because it's in your interview," Alya maintains the "Alya Knows Best" mindset and apparently can't even tell when her friend is telling the truth about something she's genuinely concerned about. That's what I mean; her "job" - as in, like, literal job superhero-wise - is the guardian's understudy and Rena Furtive, but despite knowing Marinette's identity it literally means nothing to her because "clearly this is just about her being jealous of Lila" (just saying, maybe they shouldn't be friends then if Alya thinks Marinette would lie like that?).

I dislike Alya so strongly because of her personality - no, not "the black best friend," I recall white characters in past shows I watched who fell into similar spots with me - is one I've always despised, and I think it's unfair to immediately make it a race issue. We've all had experiences and there are people who may be biased towards [x] or [y] type of character because they dealt with a bad sort of that type in their past. People shouldn't be afraid to speak up about how they feel about a character simply because they don't want people coming after them and making it an issue of skin tone rather than personality.

Alya being the Black Best Friend is a writing issue and that's a separate discussion. At the end of the day, what she does, did, and will do is still part of the person she is in the show. She also gets off scot-free for stuff and/or gets rewarded where Marinette would've gotten punished. Being the Black Best Friend does not exempt her from criticism (not saying that's anyone's point, just throwing it out there as a statement), and acting like anyone who takes issues with Alya's actions in "Risk" must be viewing it through race (which--if we're going there, Adrien is like--the whitest character in the show and I can't stand him) just creates an environment where people are scared to express their opinions on fictional characters because they don't want to offend people who could go off at a single tag that hasn't even been elaborated on yet.

I've gone into detail over and over and over again on why I don't like Alya and why her type of character just doesn't appeal to me (in fact, most of the girl squad I don't like that much). I, nor anyone else, should have to sit here and have to validate our own opinion by talking about past experiences/personal stuff that are none of anyone else's business. It's a black-and-white view of looking at things to say that "if you're critical of this, then the only reason must be because--" instead of stepping back to think that there could be something deeper. This is the internet where no one knows anyone's age, race, orientation, and so on without it being stated outright.

I get it. Representation is important and it sucks when someone's representation is either written terribly or treated terribly, and even if they're a bad character it can be harder to dislike them because there's a connection there that has to be cut first. I'm all in favor of attacking the writing and criticizing the choices made in the show's creation, but a character is a character who won't thank you for your protection nor suffer if you don't. No one's obligated to defend any character because they don't actually exist. I just encourage that they be defended for their character, not their color.

Here's the thing: the Miraculous writers basically can't write ANYONE. Girls, black people, whoever. The characters are inconsistent, they can go from likable to absolute scum within the span of an episode or two, and things just get worse when going behind the scenes. We can talk all day about who's getting the better deal out of things (i.e: who gets punished more, who gets a pass versus who doesn't, who gets tormented the most for the writers' amusement, etc.) but it's never going to end because it is an opinion, and boiling things down to race (whether out of genuine concern or otherwise) without an understanding of where the person is coming from helps no one and forces said person into an awkward spot where they're in a lose-lose situation no matter what they say.

It's a claim that's just near-impossible to fight back against, and all the actual hard work and effort people put into detailing why they felt a certain way just gets thrown out the window.

(Also, I don't even think I said anything about Nino at all so I'm not positive they're talking about me or purposefully lumping Nino and Alya together because they're black and assuming my opinion of the two is the same for the same reason, which is... yeah.)

(Also also, nitpick, but I don't like how they classify Marinette solely as "white" when she's half-Chinese. Again, nitpick and I know she's white-passing but I just have a thing about people calling part-white people white as if the rest of them doesn't matter.)

[aromantic-enjolras]

Hey, I have a question: You say Enjolras is aro, then what do you make of "Antinous, wild"? "They are Pollux, Patroclus, Nisus, Eudamidas, Ephestion, Pechméja"? "Orestes Fasting and Pylades Drunk"? All the other times Enjolras is compared to historical/mythological gay people? (In other words, Enjolras is canonically gay - not aromantic - and I'm wondering why you're ignoring what's so obviously written)

... Okay, I'm going to answer this seriously, just in case you're actually in good faith. There are a bunch of different reasons, so strap in.

1. I mostly don't make anything of the comparisons in the Brick. Both because it's a 2000 page novel and if I needed to understand and analyze every single image in it before I made any headcanons I would be here until Judgment Day (I'd need a couple of days just for Grantaire's rants); and because Victor Hugo is not shy about beating you over the head with his subtext, so if I have to go looking for it, I consider it isn't on purpose.

2. "They are Pollux, Patroclus, Nisus, Eudamidas, Ephestion, Pechméja" is not a sentence referring to Enjolras. It's part of Grantaire's description. And as much as I see Enjolras as aromantic AF, I can very easily see Grantaire as being in love with him. That said, if you put that sentence in context, it talks about how he's one of those people whose name you only see tagged onto someone else's, like Patroclus and Achilles (you see people talking about Achilles on his own, but if you hear someone talk about Patroclus, it's almost certainly attached to Achilles). Also, one of the people mentioned in that sentence is Pollux!! As in Castor and Pollux! The mythological twins! Unless there is another mythological Pollux I'm not aware of (and neither is Wikipedia), ewww!!!!

3. I'm not knowledgeable enough to say this with any finality (maybe @pilferingapples can give their opinion here?), but are those even "historical/mythological gay people" for Victor Hugo? Because just because someone is a shorthand of "queer" in 2021 doesn't mean they were in 1864 for a straight author. If you're looking for confirmation in the text, you need to look at it from their eyes, not yours.

4. As for "Orestes Fasting and Pylades Drunk", if you had taken the time to browse through my 'aro!Enjolras' tag or my 'my opinions' tag you'd know I have already answered this question multiple times. In particular, here, here and here. Basically, I interpret that scene as Grantaire finally rising up to the occasion, after failing multiple times, and Enjolras finally seeing him as more than a nuisance and offering him respect and acceptance in his final moments. It's the culmination of Grantaire's arc, not Enjolras' (at least not that way).

5. On the other hand, there are a few lines in the Brick that just scream 'aromantic' to me. In particular, "it did not seem as though he were aware there was on earth a thing called woman. He had but one passion—the right; but one thought—to overthrow the obstacle.” and “His impassive temerity astounds me. He lives alone […] Enjolras has no woman. He is not in love, and yet he manages to be intrepid. It is a thing unheard of that a man should be as cold as ice and as bold as fire.” Enjolras did not appear to be listening, but had any one been near him, that person would have heard him mutter in a low voice: “Patria.” Yes, you can interpret those as him being not into women 'because he's into men', but what the text gives us is that he's not into women because he's too preoccupied with the Revolution. He has no time nor inclination for romance.

6. That said, of course I don't mean to imply that Victor Hugo consciously coded Enjolras as aromantic. I don't think he even knew what aromantic was. This is how I interpret it: you are in no obligation to agree with it, because interpretations are just that: interpretations.

7. Also, if we're going exclusively by the Brick, I'm pretty sure Enjolras is also supposed to have no flaws outside of Loving The Revolution Too Much.

8. I have to ask, though: you do know a person can be aromantic and gay at the same time, right anon? If you go through my tags, you might even see that my Modern AU Enjolras headcanon is aromantic and homosexual. He has sex with men, he just doesn't fall for them or want to date them.

9. And lastly, simply because it sparks joy. I also ignore the fact that they're all dead most of the time.

And a couple of extra points that are kind of off-topic so I put them aside:

10. This might be a pet peeve of mine, but honestly, talking about the Ancient Greeks as "gay" already feels iffy to me. Their way to structure relationships was so different from ours that it doesn't make sense. Homosexual relationships for men were a rite of passage and of patronage that had little to do with romantic attraction and love as we understand it. If sex between men is socially mandatory, does it make sense to say they were gay because they had sex with men? Were all married women in the XIXth century straight or bi because they had sex with men?

11. On that note, every time I see someone brandishing Achilles and Patroclus as the OG canonical gays I wonder if they know anything about them that doesn't come from pop culture. Because if you read the Illiad, they're cousins. It was the Classic Greeks, around Plato's era, who started shipping them.

@p-trichor you wanted to read this rant? Here you go. ^^

[void-selfships-archive]

Ok I just FINALLY finished bojack horseman after taking a very long break from it cuz it was not good for my depression BUT!!! I was strong enough to finish it and I’ve followed this blog for years and I know you self ship with bojack but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a post explaining how you fit into that world?? Like, what’s your role, how did you and bojack meet, how does your story grow along with the others? AND!! Woooo, “the view from halfway down” episode was. Wow. How would you/your s/i (idk which one you use) react to all that? Are YOU maybe the one bojack calls instead of Diane? Do you/your s/i have their own “view from halfway down” episode? Sorry if this is a lot but I’m back into this show now and I’d love to know your role in the whole thing. :)

SOBBING CRYING SHAKING RN HOLY SHIT YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW EXCITED I GOT SEEING THIS FJEJCJEJXJS

Also i get having to take breaks with this show bc if you aren't doing well it will NOT be good for you fjekwjcje I'm on my 4th (5th?) Rewatch rn after like a year (it's a comfort show) [ALSO VIEW FROM HALFWAY DOWN POG??? <- (my top favorite episode)]

BUT ALSO IM. SO GLAD YOU ASKED BC I HAVE SO MUCH LORE FOR THIS MFCKER AND IM TOO NERVOUS TO TALK ABT IT WITHOUT BEING PROMTED !!!

I'm gonna put everything under the cut for SPOILER REASONS but also PLEASE read the tags just in case!!! We're talking abt the mfckin CANON timeline I have for my self insert shits depressing as hell (also I hope I generally explained everything fjejcjdh bad at doing that smtimes)

I'm almost glad I'm not talking abt the Childhood friends au bc its SO softcore like wheres the angst bestie? But also damn. Why all the angst in the canon tl? Chill OUT /lh

Generally the canon tl follows the show pretty accurately, aside from the fact that IM there and a few things r obviously different

I met him in a bar during the 90s! It was one of those "Oh we're both actors! Pog." And we basically drank together and trauma-bonded. They quickly become good friends (It was funny, considering the first thing we said to eachother was "oh you look familiar" and "YOU'RE THAT GUY FROM THAT SHOW I WATCH!" Truly the start of a wonderful friendship.)

And, I basically stayed around him. The Whole Time- through Herb getting fired and both of our shows ending and various depressive episodes (on both ends), parent funerals and hallowern parties and benders and awful horrible shows that definitely should never be mentioned nor have been put on air.

And weird one night stands with eachother that never get brought up the next day (or at all for that matter) just to keep things from being weird.

So I've known him for awhile, and I've stuck around for awhile, basically a ride or die friend (with a tiny little crush that I'm not acknowledging) that's my role, the Yearning Best Friend- so cringe but it works out in the end.

I think, major event wise, everything still happened the same. It's right until S4 when things are, a little different? (Not by much though)

When he heads to his old family summer home he invites me to come with (I also didn't think itd be smart to leave him alone) and through that entire trip he told me about Horsin Around and his family and at a point a drunken rant abt New Mexico that neither of us remembered in the morning. (It was a bonding trip, definitely the start of Feelings too) we start dating in the middle of that season (specifically when we all got trapped underground, you confess a lot when you think you're going to die)

So naturally, S5 is different too, he's not dating Gina in that season, but everything still happens the same otherwise. (Of course I knew something was off the whole time, you don't stay friends with someone for several years and NOT notice when something's off, motherfucker wouldnt *talk* to me though, and when he did it was to tell me someone was trying to sabotage the show and of course you cant have two paranoid mfers under the same roof, they just end up fueling eachother until it's too late and something horrible happens)

And something horrible happened, and Diane told me about what she thought happened in New Mexico, and I'm thinking "I feel like I've heard this story before." And then Bojack tells me what happened in New Mexico and then he choked his co-star and hes going to rehab and everything is obviously too much and I tell him I can't visit of course, because theres a lot of information i need to process, but I'll still write and I'll still text and watch over the house while he's gone since I practically live there at this point but I cant see him rn.

And I didn't! Until he got out of rehab, of course and it was back to "Bojack and Jackson against the world!" And "Let's move! Go somewhere different get a change of scenery!" And we did. He got that job at the university and I! Stayed with him, ever the loyal boyfriend. (Until in getting calls from a reporter and suddenly we're trying to figure out what shitty thing he did before the reporter calls and Oh. It's about Sarah Lynn and Oh!! Thus is certainly new information I wasn't told about! Fuck.)

After the interview- the second one- it was...complicated. I didn't want to leave but i also recognized that i needed to. For now, to let him deal with the aftermath of his mistakes because if he came to me- and he did- he'd be looking for reassurances I couldn't give him. We got into a really bad argument, it was moreso implied that we weren't dating anymore, neither of us said it but we both walked away and that was the last time we spoke.

It's so funny that you asked abt The View From Halfway Down because I was literally just thinking about that episode the other day and if he would've called me and not Diane and honestly! Yea. He did! Tho he called me. Twice that day, once before, after he left Angela's house, and again before he got back in the pool- I picked up the first time but he was pretty much incomprehensible and I couldn't pick up the second time so when I called back and he didn't answer I was. Quick to panic. (I was right for being worried too, all things considered)

And then he went to jail. And we didn't see eachother again until PC's wedding (bonded a lot with her, during that break up period. It was hard y'know? But she got it. Also I was Helping Babysit with Todd, she was rlly making me rethink my opinion on adopting a kid)

We didn't start dating right away tho, but we did start hanging out again? So that was a bonus!

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 31

First time reader click here

it's a mental breakdown *off-key kazoo*. One (1) incident of physical abuse from a parent. And Stephen Strange arc begins opening. Kind of angsty, but more of a filler chapter to resolve the parents-suck thing.

A couple of days was all it took for me to get back on my feet... Figuratively speaking. Neither Bruce nor Tony was particularly excited about me being up and about, I was carried to my desired destination point by one or the other on most occasions. Physically, my body grew tired very easily - I took a lot of sporadic naps throughout the day, more often than not falling asleep in someone's arms. Nobody minded, really - even Loki, who wasn't a touchy-feely person by any means, relented and acted as a body pillow for me when we crashed on the common room couch to catch up with the TV show episodes I'd missed.

Tony was very obviously on the verge of a nervous breakdown. During the few hours I had spent being chased by the Cursed Box Demon in my nightmares, all the leads towards the contractor proved to be cold. Natasha was the most irritated of them all - a late-night talk with Clint through the vent above my room revealed that she took it as a personal insult, unprepared for a simple merc to be so good at evading the world's most notorious spy.

Hulk kept taking over Bruce's body - eyes shining fluorescent green - at the times we were together, periodically clutching me to his chest with clumsy but careful movements. I pitied the mercenary should he encounter my gentle scientist - I didn't think Bruce would even attempt to hold back Mean Green. They seemed to have achieved some sort of symbiosis those days, switching between the two personalities in one body almost effortlessly. Circumstances aside, I was very happy that the tension and the persistent internal conflict inside Bruce had almost disappeared.

What made me upset was Strange. The sorcerer was behaving, well, strangely. He began avoiding all of us - his excuses of helping the search for the merc were flimsy, and Wong's long, deep sigh, when asked about the sorcerer's state of mind, spoke volumes. I suspected Stephen was either seething with anger or drowning himself in the sea of guilt; I had a hunch he was similar to Tony in a way that he hid his vulnerability behind an impenetrable wall of malice and sarcasm and dry wit.

Perhaps I was wrong. But the pent up frustration resulting from the conflict between my overactive brain and my uncooperative body had to blow - and my mother was the fire to my already short fuse. Somehow, she got ahold of the information that I was hurt indirectly because of the actions of the Avengers - and she had called the first available phone she found, which meant Pepper Potts got an earful of vitriol regarding Stark Industries, SHIELD, Tony, and everyone else, including my father. Stoic as she was, Pepper took it all with grace, replying politely to my mother until she hung up on the redhead.

Pepper placed an urgent call to Coulson immediately after that, making the already uncomfortable situation spiral into something truly disgraceful. It ended with strict orders for me to return home - not that anyone besides me and Coulson knew about it. I was a legal adult, I could choose to stay in the tower and my mother was told so on numerous occasions... Knowing her, I was well aware she wouldn't be above storming Tony's home with a small army of her lawyer friends.

Inwardly seething, melting with the anger sitting in the pit of my stomach like a sharp piece of ice, I managed to convince Tony to have Happy escort me home at the guise of gathering more necessities. Tony, being Tony, offered me to buy anything and everything I needed, but relented under my puppy-eyed pleading. It was getting harder and harder to lie to any of my men, the weight of it settling unpleasantly bitter on top of my already foul mood.

Happy grumbled in displeasure at being tailed by a nondescript black SUV - I knew SHIELD would have eyes on me 24/7 now, at least until they catch the rogue mercenary - but seemed to be happy at my general state of relative wellness in his own... Happy... way. Five-second side-grin and "Glad you're up and about, Princess," was probably the most I was going to get from the man who's nickname contradicted his personality. In my humble opinion, he should've been called Brick instead. He was built like a shit house, too.

The moment I stepped into the living room, wearing Wanda's spare sweats and Tony's hoodie, I took a slow look around the room and immediately knew this was it. Most of my anger had receded, courtesy of finally being able to get out of the tower and do something, but the ice in my stomach persisted. The smell of whiskey and cigarettes hit me like a wall, news playing on the TV doing very little to dissolve the viscid, tense silence.

"Sit down," My mother instructed me in the tone of voice she used on people in the courtroom - convicts, people who knowingly broke NDAs.

"I don't think so," I replied, refusing to give in to her bullying. I was being absolutely reckless, I knew it, and still it didn't stop me from standing up for my men. Logically speaking, it could have happened to me anyway, Avengers or not. The cursed box came along long before I'd even met Peter Parker or any of his rag-tag superhero friends.

"Fine," She turned around, steely eyes leveled on me. I was but a speck of dirt under her nails - for the first time in my life, I felt terrified of my mother. I knew what she was capable of. "Listen well, daughter of mine. I'm going to only repeat myself once," She started in that deceptively calm tone of hers. "You are to stop mingling with Stark and his... Company. Immediately. I do not want to hear any more of that Parker boy, either. You will not destroy your future and our family's legacy over some fling with a man twice your age. This little game has gone long enough and it's time for you to get back to reality."

The more she spoke, the higher my eyebrows rose. I was supposed to take orders from my own mother now? Something thin, something thin and crackling with electricity within me just snapped - like a live wire. The hairs on my nape stood up, goosebumps appearing all over my skin. "And what if I do not?" I asked, just as quietly.

I was not prepared for her reaction. One second, she was sitting on the couch and the other - my cheek was burning and my mother was standing over me, breathing the stench of alcohol and tobacco right in my face. I saw the whites of her eyes. "Then you are no daughter of mine. I did not raise you to be someone's cumrag and all this play-pretend scientist shit had to have ended in middle school. I hoped you'd grow up but apparently, you insist on being a baby," She was full-on screaming in my face, so rabid she was shaking.

All I could think of was... How wrong she was. How wrong she would be, her sad little world broken when she finds out just exactly how much I'm capable of. Long gone were the days where I timidly questioned my scientific contributions; thanks to my men - the same men she'd hated so much - I knew my value. I knew I could achieve the things that I wanted.

"If that is your choice, you have thirty minutes to get your shit and get lost. I will not have a whore of a daughter living under my roof," I had missed a good part of her rant; most likely, it consisted of nothing but meaningless insults anyway. After she'd finished, she gave me a shove towards the stairs.

It didn't bother me as much as it should, I think. My cheek smarted and somewhere deep inside, I knew that the eerie calm that had settled over me wasn't normal - on the surface, I felt only relief. The things I suspected all along, finally came to light - she didn't even perceive me as a human being, I was no more than a means to her end. A tool. A thing.

The waterworks started when I frantically shoved most of the shit I could fit in my three suitcases. Upset as I was, my scatterbrain did me a favor that time and I gathered most of the important things. Notebooks full of my research - projects that my mother had called a child's game, projects that could be patented in a week, add a tweak or two. With sudden clarity, I realized I needed none of her money. None of her... At all. In short, I was emotionally all over the place and at the end of it... None of it made sense.

I threw the credit cards with her name on them on the coffee table as I hauled out my suitcases, not sparing the bitch a glance. She was equally quiet, boring into my back with those steely eyes of hers. I felt my skin peel under her stare. In my distraught state, hauling and dumping the suitcases in my car was quick work. Detaching the house key and tossing the last things that connected me to her house on the floor at her feet was a spur of the moment decision; my mother was right, to some extent, and I still had childish tendencies. "You had no right to call yourself my mother in the first place. All you were was an egg donor with more money than you could make sense of. Enjoy your hoard, you damned dragon," I seethed, seeing her frozen in place with her arms crossed and chin held high.

Some part of me hoped she would apologize. That naïve, childish part - I knew my mother and I knew myself, and the trait that we shared was stubbornness. I sped out of the estate without ever looking back, driving aimlessly for a while until the honking coming from drivers around me began reaching alarming levels of volume; tears began flowing down my face at some point, all but obscuring my vision. I parked in the nearest place I could find, in front of a Waffle House out of all places.

Crying in a Waffle House parking lot, how pathetic was that. Logically, I knew at least five people had my back: Tony and Bruce, who surprisingly loved me back; Loki, who had become strangely clingy after my declaration - clingy in the best way. Together with Wanda and Peter, they made my heart warm and my eternally racing brain feel calm and safe.

I called my dad, he didn't pick up. I don't know what I expected of the man, but any and all remnants of my respect for him shattered, breaking into tiny little pieces as I helplessly banged my fists against the steering wheel in a fit of desperate rage. One look in the mirror and my already ashen complexion was made worse by red, puffy eyes and the blooming bruise on my cheek where my mother had slapped me. It was the first time she'd laid a hand on me; I wanted to throw up.

I sat in the car until my breathing slowed; completely and utterly clueless as to what to do. I had no home of my own, three suitcases worth of clothes and research that was useless without a lab to run experiments in, my car, and a small trust fund in my name. The recent incident with the curse box had left me mentally drained as it was, now, I could surely say that my head was empty: no thoughts.

And throughout it all, Stephen's avoidance crossed my mind. As if the self-loathing wasn't enough, as if my own blood, the people who were supposed to care for me, rejecting and ignoring me wasn't strong enough of a blow... The sorcerer's avoidance raised more anger within me. I didn't know why but the thought of him made me want to cry and seethe once again.

Logic gone out of the window, I typed in the Sanctum's address into my GPS with shaking fingers, figuring that if he wasn't willing to do the legwork, I will come to him myself and clarify things for all at once. The mixed signals were just a cherry on top of my sky-high problem sundae.

I banged on the door and it flew open immediately, a surprised sorcerer quickly turning concerned and panicky, noticing my general state of appearance. I was still wearing the same clothes and my hair was in disarray, my face looking somewhere between a coke bender and a manic episode.

"You," I stated darkly, taking a deep breath. "You need to tell me what the fuck is wrong with me and reject me, so I can move on already. And you," I poked the man in the chest, right above the fancy eye-shaped necklace, "Need to stop it with the mixed signals. Stop wallowing in self-pity. Whatever you are doing, STOP IT," My voice involuntarily raised in pitch from all those emotional rollercoasters I've been on that day. "Get back to being normal. Let me fucking live," I finished my tirade as the man stared at me, frozen and open-mouthed.

"I..." He stammered, eyeing me with concern. "What in the multiverse happened to you? What..?" He was so confused, pulling out his phone the moment I bailed my fists.

"My mother threw me out, my father doesn't give a fuck about me, apparently I'm a cheap whore with delusions of grandeur. You're avoiding me and everybody is waiting for me to blow up," I screeched, all but vibrating in my spot. "This is me blowing up. I want answers!" I demanded.

Strange recoiled from me, frowning and pocketing his phone. A deep sigh left him, the kind that made his whole body sag. He ran a careful hand through his hair before looking away and slowly pulling me against his chest, the door shutting behind me and keeping the cold out. I hadn't even noticed I was freezing; my feet were wet from the NYC winter slush and mud.

Stephen's embrace was warm and tender; I wanted to lean into it and push him away at the same time. I was so messed up, it was embarrassing. There was nothing acceptable about this situation - I felt guilty as soon as his face fell.

"Jesus Christ, baby," He mumbled quietly. "Sounds like you had one hell of a day. Let's go, I'll put on some tea," He rubbed soothing circles on my back, something that confused me - I just had stormed in and dumped a bucket of bile right on top of his head.

"I should go," I mumbled, yet had no real strength to move away from him.

"You're not going anywhere. I suppose I need to explain myself, too," He sighed, and despite his obvious discomfort, picked me up, letting my limbs to wrap around his torso like a monkey. I was careful to keep my weight off his hands, even if the trip to the fireplace room was short. As soon as I was placed onto the couch and my shoes were removed, Cloaky drifted over from a dark corner, urging me to take off my soggy hoodie, and wrapped itself tightly around me.

Turns out, semi-sentient cloaks were quite warm.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit ​ @littlegasps ​ @pilloclock ​ @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads ​ @hermione-grangers-wife ​ @individualistfem ​ @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby @cutenessloading @romeo-the-cactus @jelly-fishy-babie @mikariell95

[atsunflower]

Rated: SFW

Author notes: *sigh* for the third time the damned app ate up the tags. This one took me too long and I'm excited for write about my man suna again. This is also pretty different from what I'm used to write, but why not? Please enjoy your reading.

Warnings: cursing, substance usage/mentions, break-ups and me trynna be funny.

I – Cancel me.

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He looked at them with expectation as the beats smoothly faded, indicating the song's ending. 

If he were to be honest, the pair before him was a pain in the ass, but their opinion was that important because, when it came to music, they were the best at it. He felt no shame nor jealousy in admitting it.

"Dunno, the hook sounds like a Vice headline ta me." The bleach-haired male said, hearring the song's outro blaring through the studio speakers.

"Isn't it a Kid Milli reference, tho?" The other asked while munching a chip. He frowned at them, not understanding their point.

"Whatever. You two are no help anyways." Hearring their bullshit, the brunette already regretted this collab. He paused the queued song, turning to the other two with a blank stare.

The twins before him snickered, knowing they successfully hit a nerve. They couldn't help it, provoking Suna was one of their favorite hobbies.

"The song is good, but I gotta tell ya this butt hurt phase of yers is pretty lame." The faux-blond opened his mouth again, spinning around the studio with the desk chair. 

"Fuck you, Atsumu" He snapped, almost giving in to the desire of decking them both on the face.

"Tsumu's right, ya Lil Peep wannabe. Can't believe this break up ended up that bad." Osamu said in mockery, throwing the empty Lay's wrapper at him. He scoffed, disposing the wrapper on the bin before getting back at the screen to look at the FL studio interface.

"It's not that I have a broken heart. I just wanna know what's wrong with my life" He shrugged, blindly tacting over the desk in search of his Juul.

"Yeah Samu, he's just grieving over those fancy ass Dior Jordans. Sunarin is incapable of mundane things like a broken heart." His blond friend was partially right.

Suna Rintaro was many things: alt model, music producer, cloud artist and a decent volleyball player that almost went pro. But if there was something he could never be, it was a lucky man on love matters.

With his fair share of failed relationships, the artist could never pinpoint when things went wrong. It would always be the same: he would meet a girl, they would have a good time and then, the chick would turn out demanding as fuck.

In the end, every single one of them would slap him across the face and leave his life banging the front door shut like crazy — last week, it was Mika who broke things off, but not before setting his limited edition pair of jordans on fire. He would never get over those sneakers.

"Good for him, those kicks were kinda ugly." Osamu said in a bored manner. Suna felt his soul leaving his body.

"The hell, Osamu?" He was ready to fight, deeply offended by the attack at his taste in fashion.

"Yo, you two." Atsumu butted in, checking something on his phone "Y'all are drifting away from our problem."

"That is?" The other brother asked.

"Cheer up Sunarin before he fucks up with the Album." If Suna had the energy, he would kick both Miyas out of his studio "And I gotta the perfect thing. Let's hang out at Akagi's tonight, he just invited us." The already distressed musician felt the soul leaving his body for the second time that afternoon. He was sure both twins wished his death.

"Not a fucking chance. Last time I went there I almost died because of that weird stuff we smoked." 

"Aw, Sunarin, Kita'll be there too." The faux-blonde tried to persuade. The mention of their older, responsible and straight edge friend made Suna look at them with interest. But he needed more, though. Based on the last experience, he didn't have the will to risk his life going to Akagi's house once again. A shiver descended his spine as the male recalled how much he threw up that night.

"Suna, man, I gotta agree with Tsumu. Yer feelings are showing in your music." Osamu said as if he was some kind of genius.

"Isn't art about it, tho?" He deadpanned "Expressing feelings and shit?" He asked, staring them dead in the eye. The males before him shivered because of its intensity. Suna snickered.

"Man says art, but most of his songs are about the Nikes on his feet and the Tesla in his garage." Atsumu mocked "What the fuck?" The blonde barely dodged the moleskine thrown at him.

"Don't chew on me when you do the same, asshat. This is called character development." As unnerving the twins were, he felt a whole lot better in their company "Just lemme produce my sad stuff in peace."

"Cut us some slack, ya dumbfuck. We're just worried about ya." Osamu protested " 'Sides, no wonder no girl sticks by yer side. You know what the chicks find sexy? Seizing the means of production, not yer dumb car."

"You two are so la—" The musician was interrupted mid sentence, startled by the blond figure clutching his phone with enthusiasm.

"Oi Samu," Atsumu's loud voice startled the other two, as he excitedly fisted the air.

"What the fuck?" Suna asked, dropping the Juul on the floor.

"She'll be there tonight." The blond said, looking at his brother with a new wave of joy.

"The fuck? She who?" The brunette frowned.

"Ya gotta go and find out, man." The gray haired twin said with a knowing smile, matching his brother's excitement.

The night out felt somewhat draining. The booze, the music and the company were great, but his lack of energy was a mood killer.

Cheer me up my ass, Suna cursed internally as he observed everyone getting wasted all over the place. He grimaced at the sight, realizing the meeting with the twins was enough social interaction for the day.

He didn't know what's gotten into him. The male knew it wasn't necessarily caused by the break up, but he couldn't help the feeling down.

Right now, life just felt lowkey suffocating. 

Being a public figure meant being under the spotlights the most of time.

People talked.

People assumed.

Media was all over him, ready to catch a scandall.

And of fucking course his name was on gossip headlines. It even occupied a spot on twitter trending topics for a day or so.

"Fuck me." He said before the lukewarm beer went down his throat.

"Sunarin!" He heard Atsumu shouting from his right "I want you to meet someone!" And only now he noticed the blond had his left arm over a girl's shoulders.

Oh, that's the one they were talking about, maybe? the brunette realized. What's the hype, tho? He asked himself, eyeing your figure.

"[Name], this is Suna. Sunarin, this is [Name], best girl ever and the mastermind behind the visuals of mine and Samu's last album" The bleach-haired male said with a proud smirk, ruffling your hair. You were obviously shy.

How cute, the brunette thought.

"Dumbass, don't embarrass me in front of others!" You nudged the Miya with your elbow "Nice to meet you, I saw your name on TMZ last week—" You said beaming and he grunted.

I take it back. Not cute at all, the man internally screamed, not ready to talk about the recent events. He didn't even want to listen to the rest of your speech, your cheery voice went through his ears in a white noise.

"And this makes me really excited for your album. The interview about the collab with dumb and dumber was lit." You continued, the words were genuine and you seemed really interested "And I also relate on a spiritual level because I know working with them is hell."

Oh, she's talking about the album. He realized in relief.

"Yo, I heard good things about you too. The design of their album was hella sick, even though they two suck ass." Suna snickered when he heard Atsumu protesting. You only left out a giggle, joining him on the teasing.

The blond kept ranting about how bad of friends the two of you were.

"I didn't introduce y'all ta gang up on me. Bye, I'm finding another company. Ya two suck." The blonde Miya said, leaving only you and Suna in the sofa area.

"Uh, so…" He drifted off, trying to start some small talk

"Yeah..." You both giggled at the awkwardness "Not enjoying the night?"

"Too much happening right now. Lots of people talking shit 'bout me." He sipped the beer, grimacing at the stale taste of the drink "Hope they cancel me already. So all this shit dies down." Suna looked away, suddenly shy for opening up to a stranger.

"You're a famous guy and the break-up wasn't that scandalous. It'll be over eventually, just beware the sneaker cult." Your amusement was comfort enough. You didn't make intrusive questions about the events and merely joked it off. He felt so worn out by the situation but, at least, your presence wasn't overbearring.

"How is it everyone knows about the jordans?" You shrugged it off, laughing at the distressed face he mocked. Sighing in relief, Suna couldn't deny how refreshing your presence was. Not to be a jerk, but usually, the girls either were all over him or judged every single move he made. You were just that easygoing.

"Well, I don't think you came here to sulk on the sofa all night long. Why don't we join them by the pool and down some shots?" You hopped off of your seat, pointing to the glass doors. All the boys were waving at you two and suddenly, Suna felt a wave of joy run down his body.

Atsumu was right. Best girl ever.

At some point of the night, everything became about you.

All he could hear was the sound of your voice and all the time, his eyes were drawn to your figure. He couldn't figure out a reason for it, but the rapper wasn't complaining either.

A sharp pang at the side of Suna's head broke the trance he was in. Osamu had a shit eating grin on his face, eyeing the ravenette with amusement.

"We told ya so." The younger twin mused whilst he handed a long neck of vodka to the other.

"Stop. This is dumb."

"Yer dumb. But you ain't that dumb ta dare ta mess with her." The gray-haired Miya squinted at him, menacingly pointing the bottle in his hand at the brunette. The latter shrugged it off, opening his drink.

"Nah, I'm good." And he meant it.

But how could he explain the situation he was in?

Lips and hands wandered over the expanse of his skin. Everything was too hot and too good at the same time. Overwhelming, even.

He wanted more, more and more. There wasn't enough of you.

And if it wasn't unfair enough, his body felt lethargic. He was desperate, but couldn't keep up with the rhythm you imposed. Be it the alcohol or the stress, his body gave up and blacked out, even before you could undress each other.

In the morning after, a pounding headache woke him up. Suna didn't dare to open his eyes, but the morning breath fanning over his face was unbearable.

"I can't believe a cutie like you have a stinky breath like this." The complaint came out in a raspy voice, accompanied by an annoyed grunt.

Someone snickered on the other side of the room.

"Man, I didn't know you had the hots fer Samu." Atsumu was somewhere across the room, laughing at him.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" Hearing the other, Suna's body jolted, dizziness made his head spin in the process. He felt sick in the stomach and the morning light made his eyes sting. "When did I get back here?" The male looked around, realizing he was sprawled over Akagi's floor, right beside Osamu, who didn't even squirm at the loud voices in the room.

"What do ya mean? We never left" Atsumu frowned, uncaping a water bottle he was holding "Ya puked on Kita and passed out. The boys were too wasted ta drag yer sorry ass back home so we all crashed here." The blonde was dumbfounded, trying to figure out how wasted Suna got last night.

Suna wanted to know too. After all, there was no way the events envolving you were a product of his drunk mind.

facts:

• Suna's artist name is yosemite.

• He has a Tesla Model S because of Frank Ocean.

• He takes his Nikes very seriously.

• No, not all of his songs are about the car and the kicks.

• He and the Miya twins got a sports scholarship because of volleyball, but they dropped out of school to make music.

• The three of them created Inarizaki, the label they're making music under. Kita and Aran manage it.

• Both Miya twins are beatmakers and music producers. They recently debuted as artists and now are making a collab EP with Suna, thus Atsumu's concern about the album.

[bright-whump]

fyi, i agree abuse is abuse. and it's not ok. you're not alone my dude. i don't get why people aren't on board with that.

also you're latest fics have been giving me life. so thank you for that too!

HELP I saw "fyi" and "abuse" and I thought the worst and was like "nah, I gotta go, not rn" /tosses phone/ lmfaoo thank God

I'M REALLY GLAD TO HEAR THIS !!! Like!! It's not hard!! It's really not!! To just!! "Yep, hitting kids is bad! Next question!" ????? THAT'S. Why is that controversial! Abuse is not a contest nor should it be "well this abuse is worse so this 'lesser' thing shouldn't be called abuse." Especially in this fandom where she literally on screen slapped Malcolm so hard he almost fell down and he was crying. Like. That wasn't a little nudge on the arm! And the amount of screenshots I have of people saying he deserved it and it wasn't abuse and "you can't even blame her!" ??????? And especially they use him being an adult as an excuse for why it's suddenly not abuse, and then as soon as you bring up that she also showed abusive behavior when she shook 10yo him while he was telling her "please stop you're hurting me!" you get blocked and labeled a sexist meanie or something because obviously there's no such thing as being abused by a woman and being triggered/arguing with people who are trying to convince you child abuse is okay is Wrong and Bad and YOU are the one in the wrong because you should simply let people have their harmless opinions...

You can still love the fuck out of Jessica/Ainsley/Martin and have them be your absolute favorite people on the show and all that! I super love Ainsley and I love to hate Martin and I even liked Jessica a few episodes! But you literally can't make posts in a fandom that attracted people who related to Malcolm and had abuse in their pasts, making reasons why they're angels and perfect and explain in essays why Malcolm just deserved/deserves their abuse/abusive behavior??? Or say shit like "disrespectful kids actually NEED to get hit it's good for them" or "I know Martin abused the shit out of him but he's still a really good father, abusers can still be good parents :(" or "Malcolm's an adult he shouldn't be so stupid as to fall for what Martin does" as if the second you turn 18 you gain magical powers to suddenly be immune to horrific gaslighting and emotional/psychological manipulation

These weren't like AO3 fics tagged "victim blaming" and "abuse apologism language" or whatever else, it wasn't "ooo whump, love whump" where whump is already by definition "fictional pain", there was no "well clearly it's just fiction, it's just a story, it's just a bad guy saying these things for drama or Malcolm thinking it because he's traumatized" no, these were actually just people's real opinions and they weren't fiction, they were real, about all victims/survivors. Malcolm is fake but posting your opinions that "you can't be abused as an adult and if your parent hits you you deserved it stop acting like it was a big deal" (someone on another platform literally called me crazy for thinking it was abuse and said "good job showing me you know nothing about "real abuse") is real and affects people and was so gross to see just thrown into the main tags.

It was so. Fucking disgusting. And so fucking triggering. Constantly fucking triggering.

Throwback too to being on a server of literally like 60 people and being told in the middle of everyone by a homophobe 20 years older than me (who was defending Jessica and insisting about how it wasn't abuse of course) that I personally irl wasn't actually abused and not only did no one say "hey, that's really fucked up, don't do that" and instead just watched and then awkwardly tried to change the subject, but then I was said to have overreacted because I got upset??

I am. Ranting. Holy shit. Sorry. Lmao. Man. MAN. I really! Don't like a lot of people!

Thank you so much for sending in this and making me remember the small part of the fandom that is in fact kind and good and caring lmao, I appreciate you, and thank you SO MUCH FOR YOUR COMPLIMENTS!!! I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKE MY STUFF!!! Much more whumped boy coming 😌😌💕💕💕