#you're absolutely killing me with all this it's so good!!!!!!
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lodane · 2 days ago
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Tubi Testimony (pirate POV, tubi-n-chill x reader)
Context? i came to the site for gothic soap opera Dark Shadows on ABC in the late 1960s. if you're gonna do the same... look for "Dark Shadows: the Beginning" because that's the real 1966 start of the series (before Barnabas shows).
Ads... Like, ANY?
first things first... i assume tubi has ads but i use ublock-origin (win10, firefox/opera) and haven't seen any... at all... ever.
. n . o . t . h . i . n . g .
Account?
in my browser, you don't have to have an account. I REPEAT: NO SIGN-UP OR SIGN-IN REQUIRED. can't speak for the phone app, haven't used it 🤷‍♀️
Watch Party
i'm not sure if they're one of the services that black out the screen when you stream to friends on discord/etc. (tbh i don't think they do this? but...) if so they're one i've worked around by disabling hardware acceleration in the browser's settings. 🤷‍♀️ like candy from a babbyform.
Subtitles [CC]
the captions aren't perfect but they're a straight up SRT file 👀 you can rip with anything (including, just, like... the ublock logger showing you the direct URL). i don't know where they came from, and they don't seem *entirely* automagically generated... so, i can't tell if they're pulled from some (phoned-in) DVD, they're paying someone to caption, scraping some (really half-assed) fan subs...or some combo?
this is important to me since i'm going to be fixin' up my OWN fan subs for this show and it's great when someone saves you some legwork. i use downsub dot com (which is SHOCKINGLY not a k*nk site) to scrape the captions when i'm being lazy.
The Video Itself
the videos themselves are quite easily obtained, too... but... i'll tell ya... i never bothered ripping the show, and i stopped downloading it from elsewhere atm, because i legit enjoy just watching it on tubi... the vibes are good, the ux/ui are good, and they basically have the same files as i can find elsewhere (admittedly scuffed, for the example of Dark Shadows) on any archive or torrent for a show...
i can side-by-side a rip to a file and see there's basically no difference... so i don't think they attempt any reformatting/editing/etc. of the media they, uh, obtain... from... somewhere?
🤔
actually... i have a test for this... brb...
(pulls up Buffy's 'Once More with Feeling' on Tubi)
so, since it's shockingly different on various platforms and editions, it's a great little litmus test.
VISUAL DIFFERENCES? placing the file and tubi side-by-side, playing the exact same spot... yeah, i guess... there's a little bitsy change in color/contrast/fuzz (very likely just throwing a few less pixels on the screen) that's probably just some lossy compression they do to make it easier to house/stream all these files…
BUT WHICH VERSION IS IT? for Buffy's s06e07, OMWF, they have the 00:50:45 runtime version, which afaik is "the good* version" with all the original visuals intact. i'm sure someone is a bigger Buffy scholar than me, but i think this the "DVD version" (not an old DVR/TV rip, like i subsisted on for years, not the terrible blu-ray wherein they cut several minutes).
the captions are LITERALLY identical from the "Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season 1 to 7 Mp4 1080p" torrent (which, again, are likely originally from the DVDs).
tangent: the entire scene before and after "I Have a Theory" is an amazing case study in why those Blu-Rays were strangely good 5% of the time but absolutely still ruined the show. why? well, tbh there are a couple edits this episode could use… changes that were made for the better in the blu-ray version, like... i guess i can understand taking out the donut/cruller Magnolia PUA joke, since it's very dated? along with Anya dropping the m-slur… we could lose that, for sure [which, i just checked, is in the tubi version, so it's def not blu-ray]. too bad the blu-ray also kills the pterodactyl joke??? they cut out the shared visual framing device of the shoppe's door/bell when buffy/dawn enter for one but leave the other? it feels like the level of brainpower that went into that Hitchhiker's Guide movie when they ruined the joke about "beware the jaguar" and all that in the first 10 minutes?
conclusion...
go watch Dark Shadows: The Beginning or Buffy the Vampire Slayer on tubi tv ig? do a fan sub for the first 365 episodes of an ancient soap opera in a desperate effort to get ppl to watch it?
fuck man idk...
💋
Tubi is the best streaming service because it captures the feeling of a video store, but not a corporate video store like Blockbuster, or even a good indie store, but a rundown video rental place under a overpass weeks away from closing down. You'll find, like, 2001: A Space Odyssey next to a unwatchable copy of a 70s exploitation film and a micro-low-budget indie and a movie called STRIPPER VAMPIRE MASSACRE III but you can find no evidence of STRIPPER VAMPIRE MASSACRE one or two existing.
This is a real, commercial streaming service and they've uploaded films with the DVD menu visible for the first few seconds bc it's a recording of a DVD copy. What a titan in the landscape of streaming
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evanhereonearth · 7 hours ago
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Solas, outnumbered seven to one, overpowered by a lot more than that, betrayed by his best friend Mythal who bound him to her service and coerced him into leaving the Fade and coerced him into making a weapon that would make an entire people tranquil to stop the war she started AND ignored him when he said it would create *checks notes* a blight and made him do it anyway. Solas, facing seven blighted wannabe gods who turned on his best abusive friend Mythal when she finally stood up to them after CENTURIES of him begging her to do just that and starting a rebellion to free all their multitudes of slaves: *creates the veil, imprisons the blight and the Evanuris, and preserves all life in Thedas* World: FUCK THE DREAD WOLF, GOD OF TREACHERY AND LIES *worships the Evanuris and their dragon thralls*
Solas: zzzzzzzzzz (knocked out cold from saving the world for LITERALLY SEVERAL MILLENNIA MORE)
Tevinter: *razes what's left of Elvhenan, steals all their magic, enslaves the elven people for entire length of Solas's world-saving-induced coma*
Also Tevinter: *breaks into the fucking black city and brings out the blight*
Also also Tevinter: *uses so much blood magic that the veil ends up in tatters*
The Blight: >:)
World: fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck *throws everything they can at the blight, including--*checks notes again*--the blight
Orlais: you know what sucks? elves. let's kill them all
Ferelden: good shout, mes amis
Orlais: you know what also sucks? mages. put them in prisons.
Ferelden: you're full of good ideas when you're not invading us
Free Marches: MAGE PRISON, YOU SAY?
Orlais: add templars who can decide to murder them or make them tranquil on a whim at any moment
Ferelden and Free Marches: *frantically taking notes*
Rivain and Nevarra: we're just going to be...over here...
Blights 1-5: i've got a great idea i've got a great idea
Blights 1-5 after a while: my great idea didn't work :(
Archdemons 1-5: ....... :(
Evanuris 1-5: ......... :(
Solas, waking up in 9:40ish Dragon: what the...WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCKING FUCK. they can just KILL MAGE CHILDREN? AND PURGE ALIENAGES? AND ALMOST EVERY ELF IN TEVINTER IS A SLAVE? *absolutely rabid, seeks out the Dalish, as remnants of his people*
The Dalish, at Solas: *ARROWS*
Solas: ......fuck this shit, fuck all of this shit, fuck these tyrants in particular, fuck this fucking...UGH
The veil, after all this: (o.O:0oO.)
The remaining blighted Evanuris and the 99% of blight that did not escape: :)
Solas: well, that is a problem, going to need to address that ASAP, but turns out millennia of coma doesn't leave a spirit spry
Corypheus, busting out of warden jail: I AM FREE
Solas: hm, could kill that guy letting him unlock my orb, since he broke into my blight prison in the first place and defo deserves dying
Corypheus: veil needs a certain je ne sais quoi, a...bigger hole. i will make one.
Wardens: yes, good plan, blighted magister man. we are in control of the blight inside us and also heroes *in death, sacrifice = divine justinia's ritual sacrifice under thrall*
The veil:
O
Corypheus: >:( but like...not dead
Solas: well, i did not see that coming
Lavellan: *in chains, threatened with execution*
humans: KNIFE EAR >:(
Lavellan: *hole in the sky, hole in her memories, hole in her fucking hand* fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, wait, this hole in my hand helps close holes in the SKY
Solas: *.* It seems you hold the key to our salvation
Lavellan: i'm sorry what
the human Chantry: HERALD OF ANDRASTE!!!!!!!! *falls to knees*
Lavellan: I'M SORRY WHAT
Cassandra: time for you to decide the fate of the world
Lavellan: I'M. SORRY. WHAT???????? you know what? fine. *stops alexius from blood magicking his way through redcliffe and time itself, gets punted into a hellscape of nightmares and makes it back with the help of a rebel tevinter mage* the mages i rescued from becoming probable slaves to tevinter are our allies and dorian is my new best friend for being the only reason i made it back alive and the whole world didn't die *dabs*
Cassandra: >:(
Mother Giselle: >:(
Lavellan: ffs
Corypheus: *dragon temper tantrum*
Lavellan: *somehow escapes both dragon and Corypheus, trudges through blizzard, collapses*
Mother Giselle: *.* I FEEL A SONG COMING ON
Literally everyone but Solas: *falls to their knees*
Solas: a word?
Lavellan: OH THANK HEAVENS
Solas: these people are wack and aren't going to like that Corypheus is using elven magic *cough*, they're a hairsbreadth from executing us at all moments lol, btw here's a castle, you know, for you cos i highkey see myself in you and god i'm so fucking lonely
Lavellan: me too but wait, what the fuck is happening. you know what? fuck it. solas, what if we kissed,,, in the fade
Solas: what IF we kissed,,, in the fade *fade tongue*
Solas: ...you continue to surprise me. you show a wisdom i have not seen...since my deepest journeys into the fade!
Lavellan: don't you dare walk away from me now
Solas: okay vhenan i stay
Vivienne: this is a DEMON and NOT A PET
Lavellan: *blinks* right, no, this spirit kid who is the literal only reason we escaped Haven alive is my son now. if he hadn't read roderick's mind we'd all be avalanched or blighted dragoned, so SUCK IT UP
Vivienne: >:(
Cassandra: >:(
Sera: >:(
Solas: :D
Wardens: btw we're doing blood magic and raising an army of demons. not really our fault but also not NOT our fault? idk, blight in the blood, morally grey area. get it? grey...war--never mind, we'll be at adamant xoxo
Cullen: lotsa soldiers gonna die
Lavellan: fuck, is there another choice?
Advisors: ...no
Cory's dragon: *burninating the adamant, burninating the wardens, burninating all the people and this crumbling ROCKY BRIIIIIIDGE! CRUMBLING ROCKY BRIDGEEEEE*
Lavellan, flying through the air hundreds of feet towards the ground: fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck *opens a rift into the fade*
Everyone but Solas: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK WE'RE IN THE FADE
Solas: we're in the FADE!!!!!
Lavellan, after escaping the nightmare's lair: glad half the team is pissed at me, what's next, an imperial ball? how hard can that be?
Orlesians: they invited an ELF SAVAGE >:(
Lavellan: you know what, fuck this and fuck Celene for genociding the entire Halamshiral alienage and fuck you, Gaspard, you can be Briala's little French Orlesian bulldog
Half the Inquisition: *shocked pikachu*
Morrigan: allow me to shemsplain all of elven history to everyone, including Solas, yourself, and all the ancient elves in this temple
Lavellan: you know what? okay. *rubs at Mythal's vallaslin, makes eyes real big* who is this "Mythal"
Solas: *choking in the corner*
Cassandra, muttering: i do not want to do a ritual to a false god
Morrigan: lemme have the well, lemme have it, i deserve it more than you
Lavellan: ...abso-fucking-lutely not *drinks from the well out of pure spite*
Solas: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, VHENAN
Lavellan: idk vhenan, this world sucks and i wanna make it better and i love you
Solas: ...you are everything and you inspire me, hurry, i need to tell you i'm the dread wolf but am going to break up with you and remove your slave markings instead and btw they're basically a drawing of me in my true form and honestly, this whole thing is real fucked up and you're the only real person in my entire life who sees me
Lavellan: wait what
Solas: i'm bad and don't deserve you and had to harden my heart to save the world before and everyone hated me for it so i'm projecting when i say you must harden your heart to a cutting edge to kill Corypheus, I'll explain after we kill him
Lavellan: ...oh yeah guess we should do that but I gotta go meet Mythal first
Solas: wait what
Mythal: *is Morrigan's mum, is only mostly dead, also 100% cool with overriding her servants' will entirely for shits and giggles, 0/10 do not trust* i'll help you if you fight this dragon lol
Morrigan: *choking in the corner*
Corypheus: *has a mahoosive temper tantrum when Mythal's pet dragon kills his pet dragon, dies*
Solas: ;-; ilu, inky, what we had was real but i'm afraid to do to you what Mythal did to me. I MUST AWAY
Lavellan: ....
World: HERALD OF ANDRASTE!!!!!!!!!!!!*
*some restrictions may apply, like in a couple years we're going to forget everything you did and be real mad at you
Solas, somewhere: been there, vhenan
World, two years later: :D we're here to hate you, right on schedule
Qunari: you are in need of the gentle path. therefore, we are coming to kill you all
Solas: like hell you will. but come to think of it, this is a good excuse to see vhenan again
Lavellan's arm: TIME TO DIE
Solas: defo another good excuse to see vhenan again. probs should study that arm anyway
Lavellan, after several Qunari too many: CAN ANYTHING IN THIS FUCKING WORLD STAY FIXED
Inquisition, including Divine Victoria: *shocked pikachu*
Lavellan: i'm going back through the fucking looking glass to talk to some ancient elven sentinels with Mythal's magic whisper well, they're the only fucking thing that makes sense here
Qunari: *destroying everything in sight but getting hounded by the dread wolf at every step*
Lavellan, whose arm is trying to kill her but is following Qunari through her own people's magic mirror world: ...i think i'm in love with the dread wolf
Companions: pfffffft
Cole: :D YES, YOU ARE AND HE LOVES YOU TOO
Lavellan: thank god i have you, cole, my spirit son
Solas, in a statuary garden of petrified Qunari: i suspect you have questions
Lavellan: honestly, fen'harel, not really
Solas: *shocked pikachu* well done
Lavellan: i'm real tired and you could have just trusted me back in Crestwood.
Solas: this world is broken, i must tear down the veil
Lavellan: yep, i'm one "knife ear" away from putting a knife in the next human's ear who says it tbh, i'd rather live in the fade with you and my spirit son, can i help you pls vhenan
Solas: ...no
Lavellan: wtf
Solas, internally panicking because he followed Mythal wherever she went and she dragged him to literal hell and trauma and now his one true love is offering to follow him while he probably makes things worse again: absolutely not, no, but i love you forever
Lavellan's arm: >:(
Solas: ...right, i gotta take that
Lavellan: wait what
Solas: i will never forget you *trundles through mirror with severed arm*
Lavellan: oh fuck my entire life, you know what, Ferelden and Orlais? Inquisition is no more, i'm going on sabbatical to Stone Bear Hold where at least people are not insane and Storvacker loves me, and then i'm going home to the castle vhenan gave me. don't call me. byeeee
ten years later
Varric: gonna go stop Solas, who invented the veil and is From Fade, from doing things i don't understand, wish me luck, inky
Lavellan: WAIT ONE GODDAMNED SECOND I'M COMING WITH YOU
Varric: no <3 i found a complete rando who will fuck everything up
Rook: hey, what if i drop a statue on this nuclear arsenal protecting the biggest biological weapon of mass destruction known to all of thedas? that'll help
Neve, a literal mage who should know even small rituals can blow up and kill you: probs not a good idea but Varric, a dwarf who knows nothing about magic or the veil or the Fade whatsoever says this ritual must be stopped At All Costs By Any Means Necessary so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Varric: Solas I will shoot you with Bianca
Solas: ffs stop *breaks Bianca*
Varric: can you promise me your way is better
Solas: i know way better than to make promises like that, have you seen this world???
Varric: GOTCHA, YOU LYING LIAR WHO LIES
Rook: TIIIIIIIIIIIIIMBERRRRRRR
Varric: defo going to attack the guy whose millennia of existence has been centred on this massive magical problem i do not even comprehend a little after waiting ten years to ask a single question about it when he'd already got going *tries to stab Solas*
Solas, feeling everything he's spent all of world history protecting the world from breaking out of jail: turns the dagger and stabs Varric instead
Elgar'nan: >:)
Ghilan'nain: >:)
Solas: oh for fucking FUCK'S SA--*exit, stage Fade Jail*
Blight: >:)
Rook: oops
Neve and Harding: omg this could not possibly be our fault at all, not even a little. it's Solas's fault, the lying liar who lies
Lavellan: i will not murder this stupid child, i will not murder this stupid child, i will not murder this stupid child
Morrigan: we have to help the stupid child
Lavellan: we have to help the stupid child
Morrigan and Lavellan: *look at each other*
Lavellan: when this is over, i stg--
Morrigan, who has millennia of memories of Mythal abusing Solas and decades of Flemythal abusing her: yeah no i will throw you a going away party and take care of Dorian for you and help you get your boyfriend back and no way will i fight him, this is actually ridiculous
Ferelden, Orlais, and the Free Marches, all of whom turned on Lavellan ten years ago: hELP help HELP there's BLIIIIIGHT
Lavellan to Leliana: you owe me a hundred gold
Leliana: *hands over a solid gold nug*
Ferelden: X_X
Orlais: X_X
Free Marches: X_X
Lavellan: *grits teeth* i better go meet with rook
Rook: andaran atish'an, honoured inquisitor
Lavellan: yo. sure would be nice to be meeting without our gods, you know, destroying absolutely everything i've spent a quarter of my life protecting and rebuilding after the last apocalypse but here we are i guess
Morrigan: *smirks at shade*
Northern Thedas: ROOK IS THE BEST
Southern Thedas: is rook tho
Ghilan'nain: muahahaha i have so many drago---nooo you killed my dragons and i am BLEEDING LIKE A MORTAL PIECE OF MORTAL SCUM
Elgar'nan: my dragon used to be bigger :(
Ghilan'nain: your dragon's fine
Elgar'nan: Ghilly, make it bigger again
Ghilan'nain: can't, too sad. blood. :(
Southern Thedas: *throwing nugs at blight* hELP
Lavellan, with half of Southern Thedas crammed into skyhold: thanks for the castle, vhenan, we'd all literally be dead without it, again
Morrigan: erm, Inky? seems everyone's telling Rook Solas is just a big monster lying liar who lies and blaming him for everything
Lavellan: that's what people do, blame Solas. had a bad day? blame Solas. Mythal wants to sever the titans' dreams? Blame Solas. Rashvine nettle sting? Blame Solas. Bring the veil 5/7 or so of the way down themselves after releasing the blight? Blame Solas. Rook let the gods out? Blame Solas
Morrigan: Inky.
Lavellan: you want me to go pour out my heart to the person who imprisoned vhenan and let out Ghilan'nain, Mother of Tentacles, and Elgar'nan "My Dragon is Bigger than Your Dragon" First and Worst of the Evanuris, don't you
Morrigan: yee
Lavellan: FINE but you better spill every ounce of tea you've got on the stupid child before i go because i need to at least make rook squirm a LITTLE
Morrigan: i thought you'd never ask
Elgar'nan: you won't make my dragon bigger??? fine i'll move the moon instead
Northern Thedas: i'm sorry what
Anyone at sea anywhere on the planet: I'M SORRY WHAT
Ghilan'nain: *throws a temper tantrum and dies*
Elgar'nan: >:(
Solas: fuck this shit, i'm getting out of Fade Jail
Rook: :(
Minrathous: fuck fuck fuck FUCK fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK
Solas: hello, people who enslaved my people for millennia, i am here to save the day i guess
Minrathous, slapping blight tentacles out of their faces: ...honestly thank you
Solas: wait what
Rook: I ESCAPE FADE JAIL SOLAS YOU BASTARD LYING LIAR WHO LIES
Lavellan: i will not murder the stupid child, i will not murder the stupid child, i will not murder the stupid child
Solas: you know what, fair play, here's the dagger, there's elgar'nan, ima bite his dragon, you go have a great time. have fun storming the blight tentacle
Venatori, poster children for the Leopards Who Eat People's Faces Party: nooo the leopards keep eating our faces
Minrathous: wow who could have possibly predicted that
Everyone else: yes, yes, very sad
Elgar'nan, eating every face in the magesterium and effectively cleansing Tevinter of the worst of its monsters in one fell swoop: ah, rook, you can't kill me, i have the biggest dragon ever to dragon
Dread Wolf: honestly he's kinda not wrong, this dragon is a bastard and i am like a fifth of its size and getting p tired, ngl
Rook's Blighted Companion: welp gonnae put this trauma to use for the greater good. go go gadget blight tentacles, release the Dread Pupper
Elgar'nan: *shocked pikachu*
Dread Wolf: *chomp*
Elgar'nan: *throws a temper tantrum and dies*
Solas: oh ffs finally
Rook: not so fast
Solas: oh ffs here we fucking go
Rook: i don't actually want to fight you
Solas: wait, what
Rook: i think this is all my fault but everyone keeps telling me i'm the hero and that's fucked up. and your vhenan, she's nice to me, no one really else is, i'm just everybody's apocalypse therapist, and i even kinda like you tbh, my whole team basically does fun stuff without me and doesn't even invite me to book club and emmrich's the only one who asks me about my feelings instead of just asking me to do stuff for them, and anyway, i'm going to trust the inquisitor here because i'm honestly starved for connection and she thinks you're worth saving so can we talk i don't wanna fight
Solas: what
Lavellan, out of sight, reliving the litany of "i will not murder this stupid child": oh haha awkward
Solas: look,,, i've been bound to the service of an ancient elvhen god for millennia and everything i do, whether i know it or not, is for her, so i can't do what you want and this sucks
Lavellan: even if i'm here, walking the din'an shiral with you?
Solas: ...vhenan
Lavellan: ;_;
Solas: ;_; ...I cannot
Morrigan: yo dread wolf, my mum's a piece of work and i have all her memories and everything she did to you was fuuuuuuuuucked up, anyway, over to her, honestly not pissed you killed that part of her btw, she reeeeally fucked you up, but rook somehow managed to talk her out of her essence, so that's impressive
Solas: what
Mythal: yeah i kinda tore you out of your home and twisted you from your purpose and made you do murder and worse for me for millennia and said i wanted your wisdom and then never ever listened to you ever and just dragged you through every atrocity i created and perpetuated
Solas: it hurts and i guess you're going to kill me now so here's the dagger ;_;
Mythal: it's still mostly your fault but i was there too i guess, anyway, i release you from my service, which i could have done at any point in the past several millennia but instead I tortured you endlessly, lol god of retribution, that's me. k bye
Solas: what the fucking fuck
Lavellan: right there with you, like literally forever, our love is a miracle and the only thing i can even cope with
Solas: yeah honestly fuck this shit, i'm out, i will put myself in fade jail
Lavellan: you are not going by yourself i stg take me with you i wanna go home
Solas: ...home is a literal prison now
Lavellan: sealed away from all this shit? from getting blamed for everything we do no matter how much we sacrifice? if it's you and me there together, i don't care if it's a grey box full of darkspawn
Solas: there's no darkspa--
Lavellan: ffs i said i want to go, you don't have to sell me on it. you're the only person in this world who Gets It. we go on together, forever.
Solas: *.* my wife
Lavellan: *.* my wolf
Northern Thedas: and rook saved the world from the dread wolf, who was a lying liar who lies
Southern Thedas: *busy being dead and blighted*
Lavellan: yeah, fuck this shit, we're out
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hannieehaee · 15 hours ago
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svt missing an anniversary?
them missing your anniversary
content: established relationship, angsty but not too angsty, fluffy-ish, mentions of anger, crying, etc.
wc: 1001
a/n: idk if i should label this as angst or fluff so its both!
masterlist
seungcheol -
seungcheol is very particular about his birthday, which leads me to believe he's probably very particular about special days in general. if he were to forget an anniversary, you best believe he'll feel like absolute shit. he'll go to hell and back to make it up to you. even if you're not mad at him, he'll be angry at himself, taking the executive decision to still hold an extravagant celebration a few days off just to make up for it.
jeonghan -
he'd be so sad once he realized he forgot!!!! like how could he make his baby sad!!! as per usual, he'd baby you about it, cooing out apologies and taking all blame for it. he'd let you wallow and give him the could shoulder if you felt like it. would also bend to your every whim in order to make up for it.
joshua -
he'd become the stereotype of perfect boyfriend as soon as he realized his mistake. would groan and moan at himself, mad that he could've somehow forgotten. he knew you wouldn't find it a big deal if he couldnt be with you on the exact date, but to completely forget it?? he'd be so mad at himself just thinking about how you must've felt thinking he forgot about you!!
jun -
he'd be so surprised at having forgotten. he had it on his calendar, on his agenda, his manager even knew. yet he'd have forgotten. and he'd immediately run (whether physically or metaphorically) to apologize to you. he'd straight up just ask you to ask him for anything you wanted and it'd be yours. would feel so guilty when you gave him a gift, knowing you clearly remembered and had expectations that he destroyed. permanent pout on his face.
soonyoung -
would freak out as soon as he realized he missed it. his response to it would depend on your reaction. if you froze him out, he'd go into boyfriend mode, buying you every little treat he could think of along with some huge gift he knew you'd been eyeing. if you were sad about it, he'd wallow and cry along with you, apologizing nonstop. if you were mad, he'd get on his knees and plead for forgiveness (not in an entirely serious way, but still).
wonwoo -
wonwoo's the type to be incredibly emotionally in tune with his s/o, so he'd know exactly what you needed from him in such a situation. would apologize, explain whatever circumstance that led him to forget/miss it and would take complete responsibility. he'd take time off specifically to make it up to you, giving you a perfect anniversary celebration to make up for it.
jihoon -
he'd mostly be disappointed in himself. he keeps to himself so much and isn't too outwardly affectionate most of the time, so missing out on an anniversary would just add to the list of insecurities he'd have about not being as good a bf as he could be. he'd make no plan to make up for it right away, instead opting to sit down with you and wax poetic at you as he apologized, coming up with some anniversary plan with you, willing to do whatever you wanted.
seokmin -
i don't think he's physically capable of forgetting an important date for you, but if he somehow does, he'll take it so personally. he'll feel as if he's somehow broken some huge piece of your relationship, being devastated enough for the two of you. to forget the day he met the love of his life would literally kill him. he's grovel and beg and cry to you for forgiveness.
mingyu -
he's boyfriend personified, so i feel like there'd be some sort of alarm built inside him to remind himself of all important dates. however! if he were to forget, he'd end up remembering right after the date and freak out. he'd panic and rush to put something together to make it up to you, literally running to your side and doing something dramatic and silly like getting on his knees to apologize.
minghao -
he'd be so disappointed in himself. he knows an anniversary is just a date of the year and that the two of you could do something any day, but he'd still feel terrible for not even remembering it. he'd put himself in your shoes, thinking of how disheartened you must've felt at thinking he forgot about you. but he coudl never forget about you, you're his favorite person. he'd tell you all of this as he apologized, getting you a cute and quiet day together to make up for it.
seungkwan -
he seems the type to really go all out for his apologies. he has way too much love in him and it'd just explode when he realized he'd missed out on one of his favorite days of the year. he'd do this huge surprise celebration for you, tailored exactly how he knew you'd like it. along with that, he'd coo and pout (and maybe even cry) as he apologized for forgetting.
vernon -
he'd feel like an absolute idiot. he already feels like he's not the best at expressing his love in a noticeable way, and this would make things way worse. he wouldn't even know how to apologize, feeling embarrassed snd like a disappointment to you. he'd have to go to one of the more romantic members for some insight on what he should do. in the end, he'd give you the biggest romantic gesture (tailored to your specific tastes) in order to show you that he does care, he's just an idiot.
chan -
he'd get scolded by everyone in his vicinity at forgetting. he works overtime getting some last-minute gift for you, also writing you a letter expressing how much he loves you, along with an apology. i remember him saying something about letters being one of his love languages or something like that, so i think he'd be able to really express himself through one in an instance like this.
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seitosokusha · 2 days ago
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hear me out, isekai!villainess!dan feng. xingfeng with a side helping of jingheng
Standard set up. Dan Feng gets hit by Truck-kun and wakes up in the novel he just finished reading. He's the villain(ess) older brother to the protag, Dan Heng.
In the novel, Dan Feng is cold and cruel to his younger brother. Imprisoning Dan Heng inside of the house, never letting anyone meet him. Trying to isolate him, control him and keep away from everyone.
The male lead is Yingxing, a genius commoner, who is the one breaks Dan Heng out. Dan Feng goes mad, trying to get his brother back, and ultimately dies at the hands of Yingxing. Dan Heng goes onto his happily ever after with Yingxing.
This, our isekai!DF, thinks is bullshit.
The answer is simple (as per all isekai tropes), avoid that fucking ending.
The problem, isekai!DF doesn't claim to be any warmer than the novel character he's replaced. "How to be a good sibling?" "How to show love and affection to your younger sibling"
Look at this poor sap. He's in such deep water.
DH: You're being nice? Did something happen? DF: ??? -hasn't even done anything to DH- DH: You're paying attention to me. DF: Ah -has been observing and trying to figure out what NOT to do-
isekai!df makes it work!
isekai!DF (somehow!) manages to get a functional(???) relationship with Dan Heng.
Mostly by shutting up, listening to Dan Heng and paying attention to him. (While having a minor crisis because by the Aeons, wtf novel!DF, your younger brother is so starved for attention that this is enough?!)
Then Yingxing wanders into the story. Which isekai!DF has been dreading but surely it's not going to end with his death because Dan Heng is (marginally) happy now, right?
YX -waltzing up to df- "hello, let's get married" DF: ....
DF: did i misread the book?! I'm pretty certain Yingxing was supposed to go to Dan Heng?
Meanwhile in side plot B, Dan Heng is free to leave the house with Dan Feng's blessing and explore. During a trip to the market he runs straight into a stranger. It's crown prince Jing Yuan.
While DF tries to figure out Yingxing is trying to charm him instead of Dan Heng, he is also utterly horrified to learn that DH is seeing JY.
DF: the crown prince? -aghast- DH: -worried things are gonna revert- yes? DF: He's not good enough for you
(Remember DF, locking DH up is not the solution! That's a death flag! )
DH: he's the crown prince? DF: Do you know much *work* that is?! JY: I understand, I must prove myself worthy.
On the other side, JY and YX are besties.
YX was a scholarship student, JY was top of his class and they shouldn't be friends, but they are. YX is such an OP genius that JY is absolutely justified elevating YX up the social ladder. Which is great for YX. Because now he can marry DF because equals. <3
No idea how this ends. Something something 2nd Queen Phantylia has an evil plot to kill her stepson, JY. Something goes wrong, YX becomes Blade under her control. Blade tries to kill DH. JY saves DH, gets injured in the process. DF steps forward.
And Doki doki, true love breaks her hold over him and DF is just like "FUCK FINE! I love you idiot." YX: knew you loved me >:3c DF: The Aeons know why. -head in hands- DH: feng-gege just needed someone stubborn enough to break down his walls.
We end with a wedding, a jingheng wedding.
YX: What! Why aren't we the ones getting married? DF: Because you haven't proposed. YX: ... YX: DF, will you marry me? DF: -smile- yes.
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threadsun · 1 year ago
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Alright, last round of bois for the "kink list" thing, hope you've liked this little mini series (tiny series?)
Jack: Hypnosis, Jack wants you under his control, not always, but when it matters your mind belongs to him. He also just can’t help but find it cute, seeing your eyes so empty yet so full of love, it’s perfect. Jack plays nice with the others but that’s only because he doesn’t really see them as a threat, he fully believes that he is your best option and it’s only a matter of time before you realize that. He’s also a big fan of exhibitionism, he loves laying his clam on you and just letting the others watch as he makes you forget your name. He’s also much more willing to see you having sex with the others than he would in canon. He’s so confident that he can win you over that he just sits back and lets you have your fun, making sure to remember what makes you scream so he can do it later while pointing out how much better it feels when he does it
Joseph: Impact play, Or really any kink that’s more touch-based? Joseph has been numb to the world for so long, he just wants to feel something, and while regular sex is great at doing that he gets the most out of it if there’s a lot of sensory input. He loves spanking and biting and scratching and heat and cold, he especially loves when he has something to remember it by. He wears any hickeys you give him with pride, and he’d gladly let you carve into his skin if you ever wanted to. He’s yours after all, his body is yours, so long as you like it he likes it
Jo just wants to be taken care of but you have to pull that info out of him. Seeing as you’re the child of prophecy he never even considers you taking care of him an option. Every time you do ask to take care of him in the bedroom he’s constantly fretting over you, saying you don’t have to do this just because he wants it, and asking if he should be doing anything. You need to absolutely wreck this man before you can be soft with him at least the first few times you have sex. It’s not like he doesn’t like it soft, it’s that he likes it “too much” he’s insistent that he’ll mess it up or that you don’t really like him in that way and he will not stop talking like that until your tongue is down his throat
Jean: The sacred bond of marriage-no I’m kidding, kinda. What Jean’s really into is claiming you for himself. A little rule in your harem is that no one can mark your neck, this rule helps with public appearances and keeping everyone at bay. If you didn’t have rules like this it would be like dousing yourself in chum and hopping into shark-infested waters. Which is why you’re so pissed when Jean marks your neck almost every time you two make out. Desperation, Jean already thinks you love him just as much as he loves you, but being able to see it clear as day that you need him? Oh, honey, you’re fucked. Although, playing into his delusions is probably the safest option for him. Lying and telling him that the others are just your boytoys and he’s the only one who owns your heart while making sure the others know you’re bullshitting is your best bet with Jean honestly…unless
Making him your bitch, tie this fucker down in your basement and brat tame him until he learns that sharing is caring. Make him watch and cum to the sight of you getting fucked by the others, promising that if he keeps his mouth shut and doesn’t get in the way he can lick their cum out of you. Jean loves this little fight for dominance, his brain only really allowing him to submit if he’s forced to, even though he really likes it. Jean is the enemy to everyone including himself, but if you can make him stop thinking and just lose himself to his pleasure he’s putty in your hands
These are sooooooo goood!!!!!!! I've loved this whole lil thing, your thoughts are absolutely spot on mwah chef's kiss 😘👌
Jack being such a cocky bastard because in this AU he has no reason not to be, I love it sooooo much!!! And subby Joseph is always perfect, both the masochism and wanting it soft sometimes, he deserves it all!! And then Jean, of course that fucker wants to claim you and make you entirely his, but also of course he'd melt if you were the first person to ever put him in his place.
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itshomobirb · 16 days ago
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if my parents keep talking to me im going to (remembers that suicide jokes are bad for mental health) go outside and dig a hole to narnia
#borbtalks#'borb u got a letter from vsp. why are you paying for vsp. i dont think u need it bc of xyz. oh you're getting mail from y insurance?#they're a good company. im also covered under them. are they cheaper than ur previous one? they must be. did u know medicare has a page#online where u can compare all the plans? well did you? ik you've been on medicare longer than me but idk if you knew :/#sooo do u have a valid drivers license? oh when did u get it renewed? when does it expire? we were looking at car insurance earlier...#oh btw when are they gonna reevaluate u for disability? do u know? when did they last reevaluate u? when do they reevaluate others?#ANYWAY. what if i brought over x's dog. the dog that stresses ur cats out so much that they puke everywhere and spend all day hiding :)#wdym it'll stress [cat] out. what if he. didn't get stressed? :)'#like SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP#cant even walk into the bathroom without her trying to talk to me. can't make dinner w/o her trying to talk to me#and of course im the bad guy in telling her not to stress the cat out#just by saying 'vet says he's not supposed to get stressed out. he's at a higher risk for blockage if he does#which will KILL him.'#same woman who sat next to me while i was the phone w/ the phone company. petting the cat and whispering 'oh borb abuses u doesn't he?#maybe ill just steal you away one day. keep u away from borb. oh yes borb treats u oh so horribly.'#and my dad. sitting on the other side of me. said absolutely nothing.#i get it. im the family's designated fuck up!! the designated brat !!!! and no one gives a shit if my feelings get hurt !!!!!!!#i swear. my mother could smack me and everyone would rush to her side and comfort her stinging hand
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longagoitwastuesday · 3 months ago
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Kusakabe, dear, you're too beautiful to be saying that kind of stuff
#jjk spoilers#All the prettiest characters were brought back from apparent death#Nobara was okay and it's true that when I read the lawyer's and Kusakabe's fights against Sukuna I thought it was being kept vague#but to pull a Nobara with all of them... idk#No one stays dead here except for the people who actually care for the kids and by that I mean 'including Yuuji'#kinda lowkey bitter about it#Don't get me wrong I like the characters and also they're super pretty but idk It makes death feel cheap? And the high stakes kinda fake?#Choso Gojo and Nanami actual only characters who died apparently#Well. Poor Itadori#And Kusukabe goes and runs his mouth that way in front of the kid. He is not entirely wrong but also he very much is#And yes he also says 'don't worry it's not for you to feel guilty over anything you're just kids' but also he did very much say that thing#about it all being Gojo's fault for not killing Itadori. In front of Itadori who feels guilty for that precisely#and in front of Megumi who asked Gojo to spare him and also went through the experience of Sukuna using his body as well#So Kusukabe's reassurance about them just being kids and not to feel guilty falls a bit empty#It does feel in character but man it truly makes one appreciate the way Gojo and Nanami dealt with the kids a lot more haha#Ui Ui seems like a dear#Anyway... this chapter felt a bit lame for the most part for me? I like the idea of the characters discussing the could have/would have#and feeling guilt and helplessness over their choices but the way it was done felt a bit lame and without any real emotional punch#It felt more like an explanation to the reader in an awkward way. And there's a lot of empty chat about guilt and grief#without any of the characters really giving off a grieving air about everything and everyone they've lost#And this is precisely what I felt was going to happen with this manga's writing haha#I truly don't understand this kind of writing choices. Contrary to some other shonen writers this author did seem to have the potential#to write this kind of thing well besides the worldbuilding and powers and fight stuff. It's truly a pity. It so breaks my heart#And still this is considered one of the good shonens. Well. WELL haha#I do think shonen can be good! I just think it falls almost always even when there's potential into bery shallow writing#I don't know. Maybe I should read that one Alchemist manga#I've been repeatedly told that one's good and it does seem like it doesn't do... this. But I find the art style so not to my linking#I wish I had never gotten into JJK for real for real. I absolutely adore it. I always end up frustrated. It could be so good. Genuinely good#And yet it's just okay in a sort of forgettable way. What a pity#Everything good ever is present but it never dares do anything to fully explore what it sets. It just does the typical shonen stuff
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tenok · 8 months ago
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.
#I want complaine not only about bad takes in this fandom but also about theories that just!! so!! stupid!! but also I'm a good person that#doesn't shit on other people's fun#so I mostly suffer in silence#and block people in bunches#'you see! this theory absolutely doesn't take agency from character and doesn't minimize emotional impact!'#says person about theory that roughly summariasized as 'Crowley AGAIN knows more than Aziraphale and it's all so SAD because if only#Aziraphale knew he wouldn't make this desicion!'#I want to scream#somehow it also never about what kind of monster Crowley would be to willingly hide memories Aziraphale supposedly erised and never gave it#back in whole four years they had before season two#like. maybe not be a cowards and embrace 'I was a pussy and somehow didn't get a courage to RESTORE MY FRIEND'S MEMORY with some kind of#VITAL INFORMATION that could've IMPACT HIS LIFE OR DEAT DESICIONS#and now he's in place where he could be abused erased or killed and IT'S MY FAULT' angle hmmm?#at least it could've made it interesting#but noooo#also how the fuck them kissing in 1941 should've impact Aziraphale's desicion anyway I can't get logic behind this theories#(the angle with 'memories are not about some stupid kiss but about what Crowley saw in heavens' could've work but like first: Crowley didn'#saw anything Aziraphale won't hear from Metatron in next scene or can extrapolate using base logic#and anyway if Crowley wanted to use it as argument he like. should've start with it and not with 'blah blah you're an idiot we should run#from earth'#AT BEST I could've get behind him giving Aziraphale some kind of weapon or possibility of safe out or like. hell's fire to self destruct as#last resort. but memories? and especially Aziraphale's memories??)#anyway yes it's me being a hater. I just have no place to vent about it but I sure hope that no one that likes this theories will see it.#you do you!!! but I hate it so much!!!
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corpocyborg · 1 year ago
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me, in a video game: *chooses the bad option* NPCs: good god! how can you say that? you don't mean that! me, who's been consistently choosing these options since the start of the game: -_-
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vamptastic · 10 months ago
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Hey so I doubt anybody cares about this given that my blog has like, 50 followers and half of them are inactive or old friends, but if anybody's been wondering why I have so few posts on here about Israel compared to other political issues it's because I'm not putting anything on here that isn't credibly sourced. I noticed quite a few posts containing misconceptions and some straight up hoaxes early on and I've just really not noticed anybody start to think more critically since then, so I'm just not posting anything unless I can take the time to verify it.
I think a large part of this is just that I'm on the English side of the internet and most people are not able to read Hebrew and Arabic so there's just going to be more misinformation than American current events. But ngl, there's been some stuff that I really can't understand why anybody would not immediately flag as a hoax unless motivated by anti-Arab racism or antisemitism of the conspiratorial variety.
Also I just have complicated feelings because I grew up very involved with Judaism and my first Rabbi was a hardcore Israeli Zionist, and I also spent a lot of time at Chabad which was also quite Zionist. So while from a logical & moral standpoint I am, as far as I can tell, quite anti-Zionist, there's just some personal feelings in the mix that are hard to let go of. So I'd rather not invite conversation unless it's with people I trust to be understanding because I grew up with an extremely biased view on this and there might be some ideas I still hold without realizing they're motivated by my upbringing and not the reality of the situation.
Again, I can say with 100% certainty that Israel's actions since October 7th have been reprehensible and that it is their actions in the years before that led things to this point, and that I wish Israel had at the very least not had such heavy British colonial influence in its' founding, if it was ever possible to found a morally good Jewish state in the first place.
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todayisafridaynight · 2 years ago
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I think what anon meant to say is that Mine is the complete opposite of Kiryu, but they have their similarities (both being orphans who became weirdo’s when they grew up) however their paths, the people they surround themselves with, and their worldviews are different.
yeah alright thats fair 😩
#snap chats#i accidentally deleted all my tags im going to fucking scream. im gonna type them all up again but just know im mad#LIKE YEAH. its just the words 'mine is evil capitalist kiryu' shotgunned me in the face i coludnt discern what it meant#the comparison between mine and kiryu is somethin that ive always been interested in tho highkey#after mine's caregiver died he had absolutely no one growing up. meanwhile kiryu had the likes of yumi nishiki and kazama + kashiwagi#kiryu might not have had a biological family anymore but he very much still had a family and a role model#whether kazama was a good one or not aint the topic at hand Point Is its obvious having family in your early years is pretty important#its only astounding mine was able to become a white collar citizen all alone but god...#this is just reminding me i have to finish my childhood development paper WHOOPS its almost done i prommy but anyway#its so unfortunate for mine to be like 'you're like me why are you so happy' because he /isnt/ like mine#he had an entirely different life growing up so of course the two cant connect at all#and with that perspective its just a little insane for kiryu to try to assert that mine should Just Think Differently#thats not his fault obviously he cant know the extent of mine's childhood. all he heard was I Was An Orphan#and took his own experiences and applied them- as mine did towards kiryu#i am. RAMBLING anyway common grounds mine and kiryu do have are orphans + daigo + the lengths theyll go for loved ones#only problem is for mine that includes killing The Loved One because he's insane and thinks coma patients should be mercy killed#like no mine !!!! thats not a thing you can decide put the guN DOWN#ok bye. im gonna stare at my wall
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musical-chick-13 · 2 years ago
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Maybe I’ve just been Thinking Too Much About the Concept of Justice due to...currently watching....something (Idon’twannatalkaboutit)..........but GENUINELY the way most of y’all talk about the death penalty and about ANYONE who decides to go through law school for ANY reason is terrifying.
#like. aside from the fact that y'all think thoughtcrime is real (to the extent that it's the Same Thing as actually committing a heinous#crime that affects real people) and would thus be punishable by death (fuck you if you think this btw)#I simply don't think anybody should have the power to decide who lives and who dies#that is a level of absolute and (in the case of death) irreversible power that I believe NO ONE is entitled to#and like. idk. maybe this is just the result of The OCD™ always telling me that because of [unrelated innocuous thing] I'm a terrible human#and should kill myself for the good of society. but. uh. given the inherent fallibility of human nature#and the fact that the justice system is fucked up in the first place#and the fact that marginalized people of any kind are ALWAYS demonized for being marginalized by the oppressors in power#I don't think it's worth risking all those innocent lives for what YOU consider a personally-satisfying idea of justice that could be#achieved through other means#idk man when your brain (inaccurately but still significantly) is always convincing you that you are an Irredeemably Evil™ person#it makes you scared to just. exist as a person in society when people talk like this all the time about people they believe don't deserve#human rights or who should ALWAYS be executed in bloody painful gruesome ways with NO chance of anything else#because you're gonna think that they mean you! that you are included in that!! even if that's not their intention#!!!!! aside from EVERYTHING ELSE I've mentioned that is gonna fuck up people's mental health SO much#(ESPECIALLY if they're stuck in a terrible church environment that condemns them for innocuous things!!!!)#I understand that we're all angry and the world is terrible but maybe consolidating ALL major decisions within One Justice Person or#One Organization is bad actually!!!! even if that person/group is you and you mean well!!!!!!!#tw: suicidal ideation#tw: death#my god I hope this doesn't breach containment I do NOT need people telling me I need to reevaluate my stance that 'human rights'#includes 'all humans'#this blog does not support capital punishment if that's a dealbreaker for you then...don't interact with me I guess???#also every single lawyer ever is not your inherent enemy it's not like cops
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snekdood · 15 days ago
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i just feel like jewish people shouldnt have to die for people to recognize their importance and innocence
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inkskinned · 11 months ago
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i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".
it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.
do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.
but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.
do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).
you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.
walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.
no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.
do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."
you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.
there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.
i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.
he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."
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redrook · 3 months ago
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thinking about the time I was 5 and a teacher explained what Heaven was to me for the first time (all the best people are there, recess is forever, and I could eat as much chocolate as I wanted) and I'm like ma'am sign me the FUCK up (roughly speaking) and then she had me pray to Jesus to ask to become Xtian
And I was SO absolutely excited, because I thought I'd get immediately beamed up into Heaven, Star Trek style. Everyone else in my class may have been excited about recess coming up, but they were SUCKERS because I was about to get FOREVER recess, and INFINITE chocolate
And I'm like man what's wrong with people that everyone doesn't do this. And my teacher was like you are so smart and that's so true and I'm like yeah I AM so smart and that IS so true
cut to around an hour later, and I'm now angry, confused, and hurt, that Jesus was taking so long to beam me up to Heaven and I was expected to go to REGULAR, FINITE, TEMPORARY recess. A little delay, I could understand. The man was probably very busy. But once it got to a whole hour, that was just unreasonable.
So I go and ask the teacher what went wrong, and why Jesus was dragging his feet on this whole taking me to Heaven thing, and she was like oh. I'm sorry. You only go to Heaven when you're dead.
And I asked her something along the lines of, so the only people who know about Heaven are dead people. and we can't talk to dead people
And she uncomfortably said, Yes.
And I just scowled at her and walked away.
She never tried to talk to me about Jesus or Heaven ever again, but I hope the next time she wanted to convert a five year old, she thought about me scowling up at her in my thick rimmed glasses asking what exactly the holdup was for the Good Lord to just fucking kill me already lmao
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depresseddepot · 8 months ago
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finished how not to die alone by richard roper and I have Thoughts but all of them put me on the verge of tears
#the way I understood andrew perfectly. the weight of a lie that has snowballed and the grief behind it#obv nothing quite like what happened to him happened to me (this is a spoiler free vent post thank you) but still#that one line in the beginning still fucking haunts me#it was like#''after a long day andrew sits in his dark room and talks to his friends on the forum. this is everything he was waiting for.''#''this is everything.''#(obv written better but i can only fit so much in a tag)#THE DOUBLE MEANING BEHIND THAT#he is content and relaxed to be home and alone and able to indulge in his interests. but that is all he has#im going to fucking vomit#that book caught me off guard so many times and each one felt like i was being killed#richard roper. shaking you and shaking you and shaking you#i said spoiler free so it will remain spoiler free#but something about andrew's anxiety and regret and absolutely fucking horrendously suppressed grief hits way too close to home#the subtle signs of autism and the even subtler signs of repressed trauma beneath that. fucking christ#books with messages like this always make me nervous though#(the message being something akin to ''just do it'' and ''the longer you wait the more time you're wasting'')#and like. yes the message has good intentions but im a fucked up 20 year old who gets EXPONENTIALLY more suicidal#when i begin to think that i will be left behind because i adjust too slowly for everything else#haha! crying now#will abandon these tags post haste#anyway i liked it a lot. 9/10
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