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wolfertinger · 5 days ago

Note

Actually, if I may, I'd like to come back here and make one other statement in regards to a lot I've seen on this blog now that I've gone through it and digested some of it. I don't usually agree with blogs like this existing, which is one of other reasons I tried to steer clear of it. Even if I do agree with a lot that's been said or pointed out about these people, but I feel that those that run this blog don't have malicious intent in mind. Most people here clearly just want these people to do better.

This isn't me trying to be preachy. It's just something I'd like to say, because I find a lot of similarities in some of the behaviors I've seen shown on this blog in regards to Salem and others, that I have somewhat experienced myself.

My statement is mainly regarding the kind of "Oh but I've changed, I'm different now I'm not that person anymore!" behavior that Salem, Majora and even Wis seem to love exhibiting while avoiding accountability. I apologize if this is long.

I'll start off by saying and admitting that I myself am guilty of being a pretty "problematic" person in my past. I won't go over the entire list of shit I've done, but I can admit I was not a good person. The last decade of my life was rough. I did A LOT things that hurt people. Whether or not it was intentional, I still hurt people. Whether or not it was my mental health issues worsening and making my behavior more erratic and explosive, I still hurt people. That's the point. I was reactive, selfish, and unable to take criticism in any way. This was somewhat due to unresolved declining mental health issues and addiction issues I had making my behavior worse over time, but still. I was responsible nonetheless. I still am.

I never liked being told I was wrong, even though I often was. I was deeply insecure and would lash out a lot. It even got to the point where I was so desperate to be liked and accepted that I made friends with the wrong people. If someone was even remotely nice to me, despite any obvious red flags, I would associate with them because I just wanted to be liked. It was that bad. It got to the point that I wrongfully defended someone who was actually disgusting and even was friends with someone who was a proven groomer. People tried to warn me. I didn't listen because I felt like the warnings were personal attacks and I felt I could trust this new friend. I was also told by this person herself that the callouts were "old" and "exaggerated" and that she "wasn't that way anymore" (newsflash, she was and was indulging with very disgusting content during our friendship without me knowing). And I wrongfully defended her. Hell, I didn't even touch her callouts. Never read them. That's where I fucked up.

It was only until my best friend pulled me aside and said "hey you need to actually look at the warnings these people are giving you because this person you're friends with and her other friends are not good people." Because she took some time to look into the issue herself.

When I looked at the evidence, it was like this moment of "oh my god what the fuck have I been doing defending someone like this and associating with anyone like her?" and I cut her off and felt horrified. Ya know? Because I myself am a victim of grooming and SA and know that the kind of content this person was indulging in (she liked loli/shota and lied to me about liking it) was harmful, and the people she was caught associating with (like that groomer mentioned prior) were BAD. PEOPLE. I told myself I'd never get involved with people like her, and yet, there I was doing what I said I'd never do. And why? Because I was insecure and just wanted acceptance. I didn't care where it came from. That realization was mortifying. I felt disgusted with myself. As I should have.

And again, before this even happened, as I said before: I'd burned many bridges in the past over being unable to take criticism well, or needing attention, making mistakes and blowing up over them. I wouldn't say I was abusive, but I was certainly volatile and nasty about it. While some people who I had run ins with in the past did have bad intentions towards me, not all of them did. And I took every criticism thrown at me as a personal attack. Much like how Salem and his associates are doing now. It's not something I'm proud of but yeah. It all just lead up to this point where I realized I had a problem and I was putting myself in the positions I constantly found myself in. After all, if you constantly find yourself in turmoil so many times, do you ever get to that point where you stop and think and go "maybe I'm the problem? I should do something about this."

When this happened, I publicly denounced her, made a post on an old blog apologizing to those I'd hurt through the years and through my ignorance, I nuked all of my accounts, and left the internet for a while to get real help. I got sober, I got some therapy, got some diagnosis done and started working on ways to improve and undo a lot of the toxic behaviors I was exhibiting and internalized within me. I'm STILL working on this, by the way. This shit isn't something you can fix easily. I started working on music again and teaching myself new and healthier ways to cope with the things in my life that had always attributed to making me such a difficult individual to be around. I've also worked hard at being able to take criticism better (albeit I still struggle sometimes lol) and to be a lot more careful of who I associate with. (Though, let's be real. I kind of slipped up again in accepting Majoras friendship last year, when there were many red flags there that I should not have avoided). I've also worked super hard to educate myself on matters I was ignorant towards in the past, and tried to undo and unlearn a lot of harmful mindsets that were ingrained into me during my upbringing that I'd never addressed before. The responsibility to do all of this falls on me, and me alone. As it should for any individual. It doesn't matter what traumas you experienced in the past, or what mental health struggles you face: you are still responsible for yourself and your own actions.

And for the millionth time: I'm STILL working on all of this. You don't just change over night. I've been working on it for 3+ years now. I came back to the internet just a little bit before getting back into music and posting my shit online. Ever since I've made better efforts to improve myself, I've found my current friendships healthier. I've been more honest with myself. I even came out with my gender struggles (genderfluid) and my sexuality (lesbian) that I'd been hiding from friends and family for years. I've found myself to be happier, and more honest with myself and others. I also now make art that is more organic to me and isn't just made to make other people like me, or to give me validation from strangers who don't actually like me at all but just wanted wanking material. Because I also did used to make a lot of overly sexualized content for that reason. (That and my struggles with hypersexuality and unaddressed sexual trauma but yeah). And ever since I started making art that's actually organically me and is something I enjoy doing, I've never been happier and more at peace. I don't care about the audience attention or size anymore. I just find joy in expressing myself through my art. That's all I need. And in time, the audience has just kind of built itself. Because the people who like my art now appreciate the genuineness and personality within it. And while it's cool and all to have a big audience, now that I've worked on finding validation within myself, I don't really need that external validation anymore. It's not that addictive now. I just like to create. That's what brings me true happiness.

This is something I feel Salem and his associates fail to grasp. They desire the attention from a sizable audience. They desire attention in any way they can get it. It's not good or you. When you focus too much on this desire for validation and attention from so many strangers that don't actually know you, you cannot truly look inside yourself and change. It becomes unhealthy.

Real change isn't something you can brag about (and I stg I'm not bragging about mine. I'm trying to make a point here.) You can't just sit there and constantly announce "I'VE CHANGED I'VE CHANGED MY PAST IS BEHIND ME THAT'S NOT ME ANYMORE GUYS LOOK I'M TOTALLY DIFFERENT NOW" and then lash out at people who are criticizing the repetitive behaviors you are clearly still exhibiting. Real change is about looking inside of you, and around you and being able to criticize yourself and to start undoing those problems. YOU have to put in the work. You can't just get a slap on the wrist, and be on your way to repeat it. And no. No one from your past has to forgive you for what you've done. If you're truly changing as a person, you'd know and accept this. Even if you change for the better, you are still not owed anyone's forgiveness. And YES, you can have good intentions and try to work on yourself while slipping up and making a few mistakes along the way. That's literally what change is all about. Being human, making mistakes and learning from them.

And when you use your identity or mental health struggles as a shield from criticism, you're actually doing so much more harm than good for yourself. AND towards others.

And also, I get it: callout culture is honestly very toxic. Especially nowadays. Yes. There are people who abuse it and use it to ruin other peoples lives. Or they use it to emphasize on problems that could easily just be solved in person and aren't that serious.

But when you're being warned that you are associating with actual predators, or rape apologists, abusers, etc when you already have a questionable history that you clearly learned nothing from? I don't think that's people targeting you for the wrong reasons. While some of the things said on this blog are actually pretty disgusting, I will admit, most of it is not. Most of it is people wanting someone with a large platform to do better and to not spread harmful rhetoric and ideologies to their impressionable audience. I really don't think that's so difficult to understand or for people to ask of you. It's very sad to watch someone like Salem, who is actually a decent artist, refuse to take this in and reflect. Brother, you're still young. You have time to do better NOW at a very young age. Don't be like me and let that shit fester well into your 20s to the point that you have a severe crash and burn moment so low that you almost can't pull yourself out of it. It's not a great road to go down. Trust me. And shit, if you want to make fetish content? Great! You do that. More power to you. But don't act like you're some furry body positivity art messiah when there's many others who make the same type of content as you. Humble yourself. Just be honest with yourself. There's no shame in being a fetish artist, so long as you're responsible about it. This ain't a dis at you either. You clearly have talent. I won't deny that.

I feel 95% of the people on this blog do want what's best for you. It's not being done out of malicious intent. Others clearly not so much, but yeah. Although many of the things you've done I don't think are that easily forgivable. Even so, you still are at a good point in your life where you could actually reflect and change.

That's really all I have to say. Sorry if it's long or repetitive. It was just something that was stewing in my mind as I took the time to really digest all the shit here. Seeing a bit of similarities between my past behaviors and the shit Salem and CO are showing now, it was pretty jarring to say the least.

thank you again, for your thoughts. they are genuinely appreciated. and again, i am sorry if this situation, myself included, brought up any old wounds. your statements have all been incredibly enlightening, as to the kind of person majora really is. especially as, several times now, i have given them the platform and opportunity, to be honest and share their story. yet, they would rather spout vague lies, as a way to detract from survivors of their abuses, like you. best of luck moving forward. and please know, there are many people that support you. the truth, always prevails.

#brainpilled #lokistinywaist

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un-welcome · 2 months ago

Note

On anon because I'd prefer to keep my nose out of this overall, but have information I felt you'd want to know:

I saw some of your posts about @/brainpilled and thought you may like to know about this. I see you're friends with luluyam, but it doesn't look like she has her askbox open so I figured I'd alert you - brainpilled is up on Bluesky saying Yam and her friends (which I'm guessing includes you) have been harassing and drawing r@p3 art of her, which seems to be... Incredibly incorrect? Here's the post link, can send screenshots in DMs if you're unable to view:

https://bsky.app/profile/brainpilled.bsky.social/post/3lcvcta3l422w

Hi there, yea, we're friends with Luluyam! Have been for almost a year now. Dont be afraid to reach out in dms if you see this, but yeaa this is SOO not correct.

Brainpillrd, previously known as cultc0re, has been throwing this lie around for MONTHS without any let up. Lulu wants nothing to due with brainpilled anymore and its for good reason. Everything said in that link is fake, and I can verify myself. Shes referring to a piece of art between her old oc and lulu's oc, which WASNT EVEN OF THAT NATURE?

I wish she would just drop her beef with Yammy, even though I KNOW what it is, shes just mad she finally got deplatformed after 2+ years of harassing, stalking, and abusing others.

Oh btw Bodybag, Jinx, whichever you prefer, I know the oc of mine you stole wasn't the only one. I also know youre still actively following those that are into r@pe/non-con on bluesky, and you actively seem to be talking about pokemon that dont pass the harkness test on there too. And are you gonna address the feral p0rn on your deviantart as well? Your racist character designs? THAT is why you were run off the internet, NOT because youre transfem. Stop using your identity as a shield pooks.

Anything else she mentions about my friends, I will not be addressing in any form. They are all lies and I can prove in dms since I do have minors following me here! Please prove you are at least 18 or older before asking for evidence.

#brainpilled #drama post?#this isnt drama shes been stalking me since 2022 #i have her blocked EVERYWHERE for a reason #oh yea im still pissed about the fact she took Creator and sold them to someone else #oh and the vampire adopt too #how many more of my ocs have you taken huh?#do i bring up the fact shes 24 and had groomed at minimum two minors #im gonna let the victims speak up on their time though

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