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Burning Rotten Bridges
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#mianmian#nie mingjue#jin guangyao#JGY is nothing but outwardly calm and carrying on his duties as the chair for the meeting#but in that small pause after Nie Mingjue commemorates Mianmian for leaving...you can feel the tension.#Because Nie Mingjue comes from a place of privilege. He's always been in a position where his legitimacy and political standing-#-were never challenged. He didn't have to fight for respect. He was born into this world respected.#For people like Mianmian and JGY who clawed their way up from the bottom...this is a huge deal.#Truth be told I have a lot of things to say about what it means and feels to be in a position where leaving is messy.#There are times where the situation is bad but to leave means that those years of your life will have been for nothing.#That all the other suffering incurred will be fruitless. So you just *keep going*. Because it *has* to be worth it.#Because going back to what you were before is even more terrifying than the hell you are boiling in.#My concrete example for this is post-grad academia.#Because that cohort will have spent over a decade pursuing a goal and leaving means...well...it means throwing away those years.#It means losing (likely nearly all) your connections. It means going into debt you'll never pay off.#It means putting up with some pretty heinous abuse from your supervisor because what are you suppose to do? Leave?#Leaving is for those with the privilege to have options.#And even if you do have options...#Ultimately we would rather love the pain we know than risk the unknown. Hoping it's worth it one day.#With that mindset established; never say JGY should have just left like Mianmian. He couldn't. This was what he dedicated his life to.#He never had the option. Even if it seemed like he did - no he did not. He never conceived this ending ever happening for himself.
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out of context acftl spoilers in the form of stock images
#IM GIGGLING#I LOVE STOCK IMAGES#anyway if you've read the book you'll know what these mean#if you haven't idk#tbona#ouabh#jacks prince of hearts#evajacks#the ballad of never after#evangeline fox#jacks x evangeline#caraval#books#stephanie garber#acftl#a curse for true love
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the relationship between the chantry and the mortalitasi in nevarra is SO fucking funny. the carefully politic and civil syncretism of it all. the ‘I’ll refrain from scratching your back to bloody shreds if you refrain from scratching mine :)’. left hand politely averting its eyes from whatever the fuck the right hand is doing merrily up to its elbow in entrails because it usually knows what it’s doing I guess. speak softly, and have an army of the restless dead ready to go banapants horrorshow bonkers if you don’t get to tend to them. We Receive: being able to keep doing our goth thing mostly unimpeded. You receive: us not raising the great majority to protest your unwelcome meddling. render unto the chantry what is the chantry's and unto the watchers what is theirs (or, with all possible courtesy you understand, else…)
#dragon age#nevarra#mortalitasi#a watcher's work is never done#The maker may take the souls but someone still has to care for the graves#the necropolis is such a trump card for the nevarran mages when you think about it -- try to annul the mortalitasi?#soon you'll have some VERY unpleasant things starting to come up from underground and no one who knows how to deal with it#that place has grown and been built upon itself for like a thousand years at this point hope you're good with surprises with no guide#it's not grey wardens in a blight levels of immunity granted but it's up there. thedas realpolitik hits different idk what to tell you#the idea that the ‘higher dead’ are the original souls lingering after death must be getting spicily close to heresy right#even more so than the mortalitasi usually get I mean#Poor Cassandra. Imagine being born a jock among goth nerds no wonder the religion got to her#if her parents had lived she could have been a hotheated dashing noble getting in righteous duels but instead. her uncle. alas.#I jest but I really am so interested in seeing more of nevarra to understand even more of where she's coming from originally#I'm visiting my wife's folks for the first time I'm really excited :) (I do think my adaar would find it fascinating actually so. sry cass)
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you can make fun of felix for sounding dumb when he speaks, he does say some very funny and questionable, somewhat bizarre things at times, but there's a certain point where I am going to judge you for it a little bit <3
#he reminds me of my brother#are either of them particularly graceful in their use of the english language? no. Regardless.#god this is why i can never deal with smartie pants people on this website bc you'll be So omg i support everyone#im so progressive 😌 and then you'll just go and mock someone for struggling with words lmao#youre really not and i know you and your 'I was a gifted student' ass was probably nasty to the kids who had to get extra help at school#like laughing at foon or him saying does chicken have meat in it is legit fine- he has some great stoner lines for a sober guy#but when he uses a slightly awkward turn of phrase but you can still easily understand what he meant and yet youre calling him an idiot?#Uh. I will judge you for that :)#like maybe im sensitive after getting called dumb more than once by literal adults as a child- adults who missed my very obvious and#apparent dsylexia and adhd has made me sensitive but i dont care. some of you are just mean for the sake of being mean#felix might never see your posts but other people who relate to him in that way very well might
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sometimes doing art is a random person coming by u and winking at u and u absolutely do not know what they're doing that about at all. and sometimes they tell u and ur like that's so beautiful that u've found that in my art but I didnt put it in there
#not art#just externalizing some thoughts so I have bandwidth to do things tonite this is not a jab at anyone#one of my deep anxieties abt my art n stories is someone might pick up#something I dont mean to put in there. and then theyll keep coming to me to ask for that thing that I never intended to provide#this is a completely baseless and paranoid anxiety like irl if that happens what I do is I tell them to fuck off lmao#like what's the repercussion there for me? close to nil. people ask things of anyone every day#and they get turned down every day literally nothing apocalyptic abt it. I just have had a few moments of like#oh at a certain level I will be misconstrued and recontextualized. bc where I come from is foreign to a chunk of my audience#this is a reason why I ask people to not edit my art directly#or. yknow. that if you do that then have the courtesy to not show me#but also on a lighter note it is especially funny when someone does this at me abt shipping#like esteemed guest mine. rest assured if I intend something you'll Know#I'm not known for my subtlety lmao
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since i'm back in my stucky feels, i just need to know why they chose "it's been a long long time" to reintroduce bucky to steve. i mean what in the actual fuck were they thinking if they didn't want us to be absolutely unhinged about them?
#HAVE YOU EVEN LISTENED TO THE LYRICS????#THEY MAKE ME INSANE#'NEVER THOUGHT THAT YOU WOULD BE / STANDING HERE SO CLOSE TO ME'#'THERE'S SO MUCH I FEEL THAT I SHOULD SAY / BUT WORDS CAN WAIT UNTIL SOME OTHER DAY'#'HAVEN'T FELT LIKE THIS MY DEAR / SINCE I CAN'T REMEMBER WHEN'#'YOU'LL NEVER KNOW HOW MANY DREAMS / I'VE DREAMED ABOUT YOU / OR JUST HOW EMPTY THEY ALL SEEMED WITHOUT YOU'#anyway#ANYWAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY#i mean it's been what? ten years? whenever that fucking movie came out#AND I STILL THINK ABOUT WHAT A DELIBERATE CHOICE THAT SONG WAS#fuck meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee#anYWAYyyyy#stucky#captain america#marvel#steve x bucky#bucky barnes#steve rogers#catws
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I just had a whole actual married, mother of two adult woman be the first person older than about 21 to actually accept the fact that I don't want to get married and be willing to talk through what that means for me, instead of trying to convince me that I'll change my mind as I get older. I'm going to fucking cry
#I told her I'm lonely and why. and I told her that part of it is because I never want to get married#and so as the people I love move on to new seasons in their life I will always be left behind. because I don't ever want marriage#and she was just like ''okay. that just means you have to figure out what YOUR milestones are going to be#because that's going to look different than most of the people around you.''#I've never had an adult woman. especially not a church one. just accept it before#it's always been ''ok but everyone feels that way at your age [a blatant lie. most of the people I knew in high school#got married RIGHT out of high school] you'll feel differently in a few years''#or ''well don't shut yourself off from the possibilities!'' or ''oh but you'll meet The One''#so it's like. earthshattering for someone like this to just accept that I know my own heart in it and help me figure out what that means#for the future#like. I'm going to cry. I'm literally in tears.#Lu rambles#sorry for swearing. it's for emphasis. I'm very emotional rn
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Long-Running Story Ideas That I Very Much Wish I Could Actually Write
Original Fiction
Shadowstruck
Lily Between Worlds
Cardinal's Map
Paper Wings
A Beautiful Tomorrow
Henry and Mouse
Starfall
The Dust That Falls from Passing Stars
Cinderella retelling
Starfall novel
Arateph
The Princess and the Pea
Rapunzel
Snow White
Cinderella
Half-baked ideas for Little Red Riding Hood, The Goose Girl, and the romance of Auren's parents
Other Fairy Tale Retellings
The Tattercoats Retelling
Traditional East of the Sun, West of the Moon retelling
Political Goose Girl retelling
The Servant's Crown
Twelve Huntsmen retelling
#adventures in writing#because it's a season for lamenting that another year has gone by without progress on stories that actually matter to me#not that i don't like what i've written#but it's frustrating when the only things you can write are ideas that you come up with on the spur of the moment#and have to write within about 1-3 days because if you get time to put any thought into it you'll never finish it#because then it means all these ideas i have put thought into are doomed to languish indefinitely#these are at varying stages of brainstorming and wish to write#some like the arateph rapunzel have more-or-less full outlines but i just can't translate it into prose#others like a beautiful tomorrow have a few characters that have haunted me close to half my life#and a deep wish that i could write a story in a well-defined political landscape for them without ideas of how to develop any kind of plot#they are all stories that matter to me at least a little#hence the frustration with only finishing stories that i don't let myself think deeper about until after they're published#maybe i just need to translate that energy into nano-style first drafts who knows#whatever it is it never gets any less annoying
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I promise this is a conversation I will have in therapy
( @ohitshoneybee and @bowersbubbles )
#i did have one of them download the mod that puts minthara in act two regardless of what you did with the grove#i need to look up if you can still recruit her without passing that check with zrell to get her to spare minthara#one of these days I'll get them to be the legion of doom with her shart and astarion#you'll never have a more goated lineup#anyways being an oathbreaker paladin of shar has been a ball#i promise i'm not a bad person i'm just mentally ill#fishgills speaks#fishgills plays bg3#bg3#baldur's gate 3#minthara baenre#when i say i have anger regulation issues#i mean that i don't know how to express it properly since being angry meant getting in trouble as a kid#so instead of blowing up at people i do war crimes and world domination in video games and fanfics i write
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I updated the controversial thing after the last mega playthrough + veilguard + fandom making me realize stuff <<
The tier list
The way Loghain and Merril sprinted to the friendship tier after only one year lmao this is totally fandom's doing, I went back to the games thinking "let me look real close" and fell in love
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Again, this list is subjective, I feel people when they go "this character deserves more love" trust me, I like #1 fandom favorite punching bag. But I can't be forced into liking stuff only because it's another person's favorite 🤷
#dragon age companions tier list#poor varric got demoted lol#it's all in good fun I don't have a personal vendetta against any of them (except for blackwall)#(you know how I feel about him lol)#when I look at alistair and cassandra 'nothing compares to you' starts playing in my head#watch me getting hate because I dislike two big fandom faves lol#I'll reiterate what I wrote under the other post:#you'll never catch me tagging 'I don't even go there' or mean shit in my least faves reblogs. most of the stuff involving them is 👌👌👌#and I'm a sucker for good art even if I'm not into the character portrayed
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I actually find it really sad that people's response to missing some allusion in fiction is to say the story did a bad job of explaining it rather than to think "maybe I should read closer next time" or "maybe the target audience for this piece has some context that I don't and it's worth my time to gain some of that context before reading more stories like these". And I mean sad, not in a condescending way, but in an "it genuinely hurts my heart and I wish I could help" way.
#like sometimes stories *are* bad at explaining#but 99% of the time you'll see three people saying “the author never explained this!!”#just for someone a comment down to be like “I loved how well this was foreshadowed and how well it landed” like#I get this a lot in terms of beta/editorial feedback too#three beta readers will comment that they loved how well X was explored#meanwhile an editor will say “this was never addressed or touched on at all”#it's okay to miss things. i miss A LOT especially on a first go which is why i like to revisit things that are really complex#but the assumption that it's always *the work* that failed and never you as the reader makes it impossible for you to grow#you just go around hating everything you read instead of ever just growing the skill you need to have a better experience each time#and that means you'll never be able to enjoy stories that go beyond what you already know#or that are curated toward audiences who are differently educated or perceive information differently than you#and that's really sad to me#writing#reading#media analysis#media literacy#fiction
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Lan Wangji goes to Lotus Pier (No relation to the AU of the same name)
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#poorly drawn mdzs#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#Another split type comic because I decided to be ambitious.#This flashback is currently beating my ass. There are so many timeskips within the flashback! My flow and pacing are wheezing!#I loved how this scene starts with the crowd's point of view. The observations and gossip add a lot.#And it helps reposition us to what the external perspective is on these two. Namely that 'they don't get along.'#Tensions are known! Even here in Nouveau Lotus Pier.#Ah...Lan Wangji never got a chance to see the Lotus Pier of Wei Wuxian's childhood and adolescence...did he?#It's not the same. He's not the same. Call them by the same name and people will know what you mean...#...but the first version - the one with the fond memories - is gone for good.#It's sort of interesting isn't it? How names can hold so much power and still be hollow?#We often get stuck over past versions of things. Be it ourselves or other people or places.#Change is scary but the truth is nothing ever stays the same. It's always moving. You're always moving.#It's okay to mourn the past. Maybe it's people you lost or the person you hoped to be. Let yourself feel the grief.#And then? Then you grow around that pain and keep on going. If you feel like you can't - remember you don't have to do it alone.#A side note: Listening to the tossing flowers extra is so essential for this scene. It's cute and gives us more of [redacted]#What's [redacted]? You'll see in the next comic!
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arshatta dum — arshatta lam — arshatta lamdumbona
#you'll never know what this means unless you've had english in class 11 cbse :)#desiblr#desi studyblr
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blame @seeking-elsewhither for this one. it's echo time and i'm having thoughts (tm)
#yeah it's more hfsw bad batcher time. this means suffering on the part of echo#...whose armor design i kind of hate but at the moment i haven't had time to give him a definitive design so we're stuck with this for now#star wars#margin doodles#hfsw#look at my guys#handprinted#okay but i am not going to lie. i have so many thoughts about echo. ESPECIALLY in hfsw#like. you were supposed to die. but you didn't. you were brought back and it was the most painful thing you've ever experienced#and you have to endure months on end of torture practicing the very black arts you were born to fight against#so that the monsters who saved your life can use your knowledge to kill your brothers#and the only thing keeping you from completely giving up is the memory of a supernova smile that grows fainter every day#and then you're finally rescued after an eternity of torment but something is wrong because the person who was supposed to rescue you...#isn't there#and he never will be again#and you'll never see his smile again#(but you could. you could you know. you have that power now. you could bring him back. if you really wanted.#but you could never. you would never forgive yourself for dredging him back up from his well-deserved rest for such a selfish reason.#you'd never forgive yourself for putting him through that pain and white-hot agony just because you miss him. so you don't.)#and you love your new brothers. really you do. and you love your little sister; you love her so much that your wrongly-beating heart aches#and you love what you do; even if it's terrifying and dangerous saving your brothers from a fate worse than death (and you would know)#but... there's a sour knot that throbs in your gut every time your vision snags on your skeleton hand or bony feet#and every time you look in the mirror and see the unnaturally glowing green crackles in your irises#you're not of this world anymore. and you're not sure you'll ever be okay with that.
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"your father thinks it's all my fault, your sister thinks it's all my fault, you think it's all my fault" okay at a certain point you have to look inward and ask yourself "am i making life difficult for everyone around me?"
#told my mother some things. well i cried about them. and her response was ''this is why it's so important that you go to therapy''#or you could. try to become a better person. that's also something to consider#at a certain point i have to think ''what is WRONG with you''#imagine your child telling you that they're afraid of you because they never know what you'll be like in 5 minutes#because even if you're happy and loving one moment it could all turn around in 5 minutes.#and you say ''this is why you need to see a therapist every week instead of every two weeks''#WHAT. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU#HOW INSENSITIVE CAN YOU *BE*#''i don't understand what you mean. i care about you so much.'' then don't act like i'm just there for you to take your anger out on????#what the fuck am i still doing here man#persimmon's rambles
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what was your first favorite transformers character when you were new to the franchise? are they your favorite still, or did your thoughts change?
Ratchet, followed closely by Optimus. And they are definitely still my favourites for sure. I'm happy ratchet is one of the more consistent and recurring characters in tf media because I <3 him and every characterization of him except you bayverse fuck you fuck you fuck you penis blast of which I did not know when I had only watched tfp because, well, I had no idea about any of the other media except the movies and g1.
#which in hindsight is crazy#that I managed to not know about literally any of it at all#like truly had no idea there were other shows#or comics#or anything#when its rivals DC for its amount of random one offs and shows and comics and fractured storylines#like how did I do that#I say knowing full well I'll do it again#they call me the unknower. and well. you'll never believe what I don't know#though recently I met my match#one of my coworkers who's a real movie critic was talking to me about the MCU.. specifically the spiderman movies#and when I started talking about the origins of Spiderman. how Stan lee first got the comic published etc#he was like Stan Lee didn't write the comics?? he's a movie director#and I was like BOY DO I HAVE SOME INFO FOR YOU#it was crazy#it was so crazy. I mean he did say he's not a comic reader. or a cartoon watcher. so I suppose it makes sense he was only interested in#stan lee's career as the director of the earlier marvel movies#but like.... holy shit man#where have you been. how#how did you manage to not know that#a kindred spirit....
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