#you would think I was down bad but believe it or not I'm a lesbian so

[ogsherlockholmes]

I'm rewatching Granada Holmes and I know everyone talks about this so I'd like to add my voice to the crowd: Jeremy Brett is magnificent.

Tempted to just leave it there but seriously, I'm in awe of his performance and I must find out if he won any awards for it because, as someone training to be an actor, I'm absolutely mesmerised by his facial expressions, his line delivery, his body language... it's so exact and everything is so meaningful and tells us so much that it comes to a point where it seems to come to him too naturally.

I'll admit, I don't find some of the other actors very believable, but it's fine because it's still entertaining.

But Brett just...shines. He does these quick flash grins, those hand flourishes, he enunciates specific words and rolls his 'r's, he never drops the act and it's unbearably impressive because, despite the theatricality, it still feels real.

As well as being an incredible person, I think he's an incredibly inspirational actor, and I'll be shouting about this to my grave. I'm obsessed.

[muwapsturniolo]

...Looks pretty 𐙚 C. Sturniolo

"Answer me or I stop."

✘ NSFW content ahead, fingering, mutual play, exhibitionism (?), the girls might as well be lesbians!

@bernardsbendystraws pov for doll is in the title!!

Bun was scared, her stomach in the pits of hell.

Her, Doll, Chris, and Matt had decided to sit in the living room and watch a movie. Nick would have been with them, but he had work meetings to attend, so the four were on their own.

Each couple were in their own world, curled up on opposite couches and watching 'Planet of the apes'. However, Chris and Matt had their own plans.

The two males knew how close their girls were to each other, in fact, they were too close to each other. The girls would cuddle with each other, change in front of each other, and sometimes even kissing eachother.

It's like they were attached at the hip - Like they were in a relationship.

So Matt and Chris decided to test how close they really were, as well as show the girls who they belonged to.

Chris eyes Bunny, watching her eyes dart across the tv, reading the subtitles quickly so she won't miss the action on the screen. He looks to Matt, giving him a subtle nod before starting to rub Buns thigh. The girl thinks nothing of it, used to Chris always touching her in some way.

She loved it, she loved affection - his affection.

However, what she didn't love was the way his hand started to sneak up her thigh and down the front of her frilly shorts, the same shorts Doll was currently wearing. She tenses and tries to pull his hand away, her brows furrowed and eyes wide. She hears Chris snickering softly. She may be sitting in front of him, but she could just see the smirk making it's way onto his face.

"Chris-" she hisses softly, her eyes darting to Doll and Matt, hoping they didn't see or hear what was going on.

He ignores her and simply spreads her folds apart and begins toying with her clit. Her eyes flutter shut before she snaps them open, trying to look inconspicuous.

She couldn't believe she was letting this happen, she felt bad - sort of.

The situation was ludicrous yet exciting, the idea of her boyfriend fingering her while her best friend and her best friend's boyfriend were just a few feet away, made her embarrassingly wet. The idea of being caught, maybe even having them watch, made her brain go fuzzy and her walls flutter.

She finds it hard to stay quiet, biting her lip and constantly clearing her throat.

"Y-You ok B-Bun?"

Bunny's head snaps to Doll, her eyes wide thinking she had been caught. She tries to get away with nodding, but Chris doesn't let her, asking her another question as he speeds up his assault on her puffy and aching clit.

"Yeah Bun, you ok?" Her breath hitches as he whispers in her ear, his breath warm.

"Answer me Bunny, or I stop."

"I-I'm goo-" Her jaw drops open as Chris pushes two fingers into her aching hole, immediately curling them against that spot that makes her turn into a mess. Her fingers harshly grip at Chris's arm, trying to stop herself from moaning out loud.

However, as soon as she hears a soft moan falling from Doll's lips, she allows her own to follow. It became clear what was going on, both boys forcing the girls to participate in exhibitionism. She couldn't even be mad, it was something so taboo yet so exciting.

Now not having to hide what was happening or what she was feeling, Bunny throws her head back onto Chris’s shoulder, closing her eyes and gyrating her hips to match the quick yet lazy movements of his fingers. 

“M-Matt!”

Bunny’s eyes snap open hearing Dolls voice, her focus now on her. 

She looked so pretty.

Her face scrunched, her lips in a soft pout, the way her nipples poked through the tight fabric of her tanktop. 

It was an erotic sight.

She’d never tell the other three, but the sight of her best friend being pleasured was enough to send her over the edge.

“Come on Bun, let go f’me.”

Chris pants into her ear, his own orgasm approaching. Her walls flutter around Chris’s finger, her moans going up in pitch. Chris groans lowly as he feels her wetness seep through the material of his sweatpants, his dick twitching softly. 

Both girls lay against their respective boyfriends, panting softly and high off of their orgasms, their minds racing with thoughts about what just happened. 

Chris and matt look to each other, confirming what they already knew with a silent nod.

Both girls were more than comfortable with each other for this to happen.

What group activity could be next?

[biibini]

okay so not many people explore this often but i think so hard about the softer side of mizu like when she was married to m*kio (🤢). Yes, we get a lot of the butch lesbian mizu content where shes the tough gf and all, but what about with a gf just calling mizu pretty!!! calling her beautiful and holding her face!!! telling her that shes the most gorgeous woman!!! MIZU DESERVES SOME SOFT COMPLIMENTS TOO ABOUT HER BEAUTY BC SHE IS GORGEOUS ! ! ! 😭❤️

fluff modern!mizu x reader headcannons

tags: fluff, mizu x reader, modern au, cute moments, pretty mizu, compliments, kissing, kisses on the cheek, gifting, flower bouquets, safe relationship, mizu deserves this :(

a/n: FUCK M*K*O !! she is my gorgeous beautiful girl!! ok school isn��t that bad but i do have a weekend trip so i'll be lowk MIA :(

modern!mizu tries to put up a tough front

but with you, the barrier breaks down and she feels comfortable exploring new aspects of herself

she's never felt that kind of safety

she barely felt it with m*k*o after learning his true nature

as time passes by with u, she begins to bring her guard down

compliment modern!mizu and she immediately doesn't know what to do or what to believe

earlier on in ur relationship, u helped her get dressed for a sports-day after party held by the school

in celebration of a well balanced and eventful day, there was a formal event for athletes and their plus ones

and mizu didn't know how to present herself

yeah she had the clothes

but she had trouble styling it

u came over to fix her clothes in ur beautiful blue dress that totally didn't compliment her eyes

mizu showered u with compliments, saying how her "pretty girl was so dressed up beautifully"

or calling u a "beautiful sight"

without thinking, u called her "my beautiful girl" as u fixed her hair

she immediately went quiet

"Mizu?", you questioned. She had gone silent after your compliment. "Did I say something wrong? I'm so sorry, I'll just-"

You look up to find her, her mouth agape. Not out of disgust. Instead, Mizu whiplashed by your words, her face flaring red. Only three words and she's suddenly out of commission.

yeah, mizu would def short circuit

and she did for a brief moment

until she snapped and kissed u

and totally not ruin ur makeup

modern!mizu loves it when u cup her face while y'all kissing or make out

mizu mainly is the one talking and touching during heated moments but even the soft feeling of her significant other’s touch makes her stomach fill with butterflies

or if ur just chilling in bed and u start tracing her face

externally, she’s relaxing

internally, she’s mesmerized by ur touch

when u trace around her eyes and lips and play w her hair, she has never felt such softness and safety

or even if u cup her face to give her a kiss on the cheek before u leave for work or class

it makes her feel secure and happy

modern!mizu loves being called pretty

she still likes dressing more masc but that doesnt mean she isnt pretty

especially if u compliment her eyes

or her strangely healthy hair

the fact that its long and still shiny

sometimes u pray u had her hair genes bc wtf this isnt fair

“Your hair is so pretty, it’s not fair.”, you say as you play with Mizu’s hair. It was late at night and while she was busy figuring out calculations for a project, you were busy relaxing.

She hummed in acknowledgement. With her back still turned, you ran your hair through her scalp, feeling the silky texture of her raven hair.

Normally, Mizu would just tie her hair up to focus late at night. Tonight would be a little different since you were still up.

As your hands sectioned continued to run through her hair, Mizu relaxed. In a calm state, she solved the equations with ease, listening to the faint lofi studying music guide her thoughts into the night.

Time passed yet Mizu never felt it until she realized your hands had slowed down. She turned back to see you, eyes heavy and ready to doze off.

She looked back at her nearly completed homework. One problem couldn’t hurt in the morning.

Mizu shut off the desk lamp and silently collected her things in a neat pile. She rests your head on your pillows and pull the covers on top of you. With one foot into dreamland, Mizu gives you a kiss on your forehead.

modern!mizu’s favorite places to get kissed are her cheeks

she loves any kisses from u tbh

whenever u would give a goodbye kiss, she always forgets ab the “final” kiss

it’s so simple yet so endearing

when u guys first started dating, u were a little hesitant on ending the first few dates with a kiss

so u choose a simple peck on her cheek instead

u could see blush form on her cheeks afterwards

and they still flush to this day

after mizu went back to her place after the date, she would not stop smiling

it lowkey threw off ringo for a while

modern!mizu enjoys fresh flowers

it seems small but it’s a pretty reminder of ur love

she never got flowers as a gift in her previous relationship so she wasn’t use to these gifts

(yeah fuck u m*k*o)

it makes her heart warm every time she sees the vase on her desk

preferably, she likes peonies bc of how fluffy and full they bloom

but if u bring a new bouquet, she’ll gladly clean and take care of it

u insist that u will do it

but once u saw her carefully pluck and cut the bouquet, u let mizu have her way

she just looks so joyful getting new flowers to take care of

when the flowers start to fully bloom, mizu likes to check and make sure they have enough water

basically she gives them the love and care they need

(im crying sobbing while writing this)

[banana-with-a-bow-tie]

is being gay/trans REALLY a sin? Is being attracted to the same sex/wanting to dress as the gender you feel you should be really all that bad to christians? Why do christians care what people do with their own lives to the point that they tell them it’s “sin”

I'm seeing three questions here. 1. What is sin? 2. How do we know something is a sin? 3. Why do Christians care if people sin?

What is a sin?

In order to understand what sin is you need to understand who God is. God is good. He does not just possess good or desirable qualities. He is good. The word "good" comes directly from the word God because God is the very standard of what it means for something to be good. We can say things like flowers and sunsets and sharing are good because they are based on God who is the source of everything good (James 1:17).

God is also our Creator. He designed us according to His perfect goodness so that we could be like Him and walk in His good ways (Psalm 25:8; Hebrews 12:10). God would be unloving to create the world and not follow His goodness.

Sin, then, is our rebellion against God and His goodness. When Adam and Eve first sinned, they were tempted with the idea that they could be like God and decide what is good and evil for themselves. They wanted to be able to say, "God is not king, I am king. God's ways are not good, my desires are good."

This is a lie from the father of lies. Satan wants us to believe that if I just do whatever I think is best then I will find true goodness and satisfaction, but all it does is lead us further and further away from true goodness which comes from communion with God (Psalm 34:10).

2. How do we know something is a sin?

When Adam and Eve sinned, our communion with God died. We all like sheep went astray and turned aside to our own ways. (Isaiah 53:6). We stopped listening to God's loving care and instead started following our hearts, but our hearts are deceitful and wicked beyond understanding (Jeremiah 17:9).

We cannot listen to our attractions or our feelings because we are attracted to and find pleasure in things that God declares are evil, things that are contrary to His good design. If people did not find pleasure in things like cheating on your spouse or stealing, then they would never do it. They are drawn into wrongdoing by their own wicked desires (James 1:14).

But God is still good. He has not left us without a witness. He has given a conscience to people who are hostile to Him so that even they can recognize when their desires are not good. We all know inherently that lying is bad, that pride is bad, that fighting and anger are bad, because God has hidden His law in our hearts (Romans 2:15).

However, because we have deceitful rebellious hearts, we try to justify ourselves and explain it away and muffle the conscience so it can't bother us any more, like searing your hand with a hot iron so it can't feel anything (1 Timothy 4:2).

The only way we can know something is sinful is by God giving us new life and enabling us to trust in the goodness of His Word again. We can know with certainty that all sexual desire outside of marriage is sin because God told us it defies His character and people do it because they want to rebel against Him, so God gives them what they want (Romans 1:24-25).

3. Why do Christians care if people sin?

Ray Comfort tells a story about a man who hated homosexuals. There was a broken elevator in his building with a sign on it that said "DANGER! OUT OF ORDER!" The hateful man saw two lesbians approaching the elevator so he took the sign down so they would use it and fall to their deaths.

God has given us a clear warning in Scripture that following your heart is dangerous. It's like an addictive drug, numbing your mind with pleasure so you don't realize it's killing you. If someone you loved was overdosing in front of you, you wouldn't say "whatever man, live your truth." You would shake them awake so they could see what is happening to them and try to get them help. If I believe that God's warning is telling the truth, the most unloving and hateful thing I can do is not tell anyone about it. Woe to me if I see judgment coming and don't tell anyone how to be saved (Ezekiel 33:6)!

Christians aren't trying to control you or force you to follow their personal preferences. Some people who profess Christ do that, but mostly we have met a God who loves us, who saw us hurtling in a downward spiral of guilt and shame and earning eternal punishment for our crimes against Him, and choosing to show us forgiveness in an unfathomably kind way.

Every single one of us has disobeyed God and tried to take His place on the throne. We all stand guilty before God not just for things like murder or homosexuality, but for lying and envy and idolatry. We have broken God's laws and because He is good, He cannot leave evil unpunished. The wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23). Every single one of us dies because it is what we have earned for ourselves. We deserve for God to give us His wrath and anger for waging war against Him (Romans 1:18).

But God is rich in mercy and abounding in love even to those who hate Him. We owe God a righteous life, but none of us are righteous, so God decided to wipe away our debt by living the perfect life for us. God became a man, Jesus, lived a perfect life, then died on a cross, taking the wrath of God we deserved, then rose again on the third day, proving that the price had been paid, then He ascended to God's right hand to offer Himself as the reason people can stand before God as righteous.

God does not delight in the death of the wicked. He does not want you to keep trying to find your identity in yourself. He wants you to know Him and His love for you. He wants to wipe away your sin and make you white as snow. What you need to do is confess your sin to God, which means to agree that you are guilty of rebellion against Him and that He is truly Lord, and you must believe that He will forgive your sin and give you eternal life because of what Jesus did for you on the cross. God is faithful and just to forgive the sin of anyone who asks Him (1 John 1:9)

I care about what you do with your life because I love you and because God loves you, just like a Father loves His children and wants what is best for them. I don't want you to miss out on the amazing gift of grace God is offering to you. Don't let Satan keep deceiving you. He promises you peace but all he can give you is death. Every promise of God will always come true (Titus 1:2)

[melodic-haze]

Hellooo!!

I wanted to ask if you make content about Furina (I love your writing and Furina, so seeing that combined would be the BEST 😻) and if you do, could you write to needy!sub!Furina that after going through all that suffering for 500 years, she just want her girlfriend to take care of her and love her like she always needed?

Thank you!! :33

(and sorry for the bad English 😭)

☆ — DEMO TRACK: sub!Furina x dom!fem!Reader

☆ — TYPE: NSFW

☆ — CONTENT WARNINGS: None

☆ — NOTES: FIRSTLY THANK YOUUUU I'M FLATTERED YOU LOVE MY WRITING OMG???? And yes, I do make Furina content I love my silly thespian lesbian girlfailure :3 DON'T APOLOGISE DAWG your English isn't bad!!

I'd like you all to know I converted a Furina hater first of all with my extensive knowledge of ouji lolita clothing. But that's not what you wanted to see here

Being Furina's lover would be. Very much in need of constant attention, you right!!! Wish I could generalise it all but this is ME that's making this and ME making this means I have to actually Put My Mind into this 😭😭😭. Being in a relationship with her is NOT for the detached and the unavailable bc of just how needy she is

She's very! Attached to you! I think eventually she does learn to latch off and act independently without fear of losing the ones she loves (read: you), but it'd take a WHILE before she's at fully at peace with herself.......but rn she NEEDS to catch up on YEARS of intimacy

That DOES translate beyond a simple want for companionship however 😄

You wake up in the middle of the night to soft sounds from your beloved, whose back is turned towards you.

"'Rina..?" Your hands reached towards her in an attempt to let her know of your presence, "Babe, what's wrong?"

You see her shoulders still at your touch, her blanketed figure highlighted by the stream of moonlight escaping from the small gap between the curtains. You took it as a sign that perhaps touching her right now was a bad idea, so you draw your hand back.. but her hand darts to hold yours, squeezing desperately as she turns to look at you.

And oh, you could feel your heart shatter at the sight—tears streaming down her face, eyes glassy and a horrified expression that swiftly twists into relief at the sight of you.

What she says after breaks your heart even further as her voice cracks and loses its usual bravado, eyes meeting you and searching for something—reassurance, perhaps—in your moonlit gaze, "I'm not... This isn't a dream, right? You're-- you're here, I'm here, this is.. this is real. Please tell me this is real."

A former archon, no matter the authenticity, is pleading to you as if you were the god. Praying for some form of reassurance that she wasn't going to wake up cold and alone, doomed to be on the outside looking in as she performed and performed and performed for more times than she could ever possibly count.

"Yes. Yes, of--" You swallowed your initial response (saying that 'of course it's real' would do her no good), "I'm real. This is all real. And I am not going to let you go until you believe it yourself."

"I need-- I need to feel you, to know you're not just saying what I want to hear," her free hand frantically went underneath your shirt, grasping onto your waist as she ducked her head and mumbled into your collar. You could feel fresh tears dampen your skin.

"..Are you sure?"

"Mhm."

"No, no, come on." You gently combed through your hair with her fingers, "Look at me."

No answer.

"Furina. Please."

..It takes a little bit, but she does end up following through.

"Are you completely sure? I don't want to do anything if--"

"Yes. Yes, I am."

"..Okay." You moved above her, placing your knee in between her thighs, "But if you need me to stop or you want a break, do not keep quiet."

"Thank you."

NeedneedneedNEEEEED to take care of babyyyy :(((

She's veryyyyy needy PLEASE take care of her. NO rough sex this time, I need her to be treated juuuust like the girlprince that she is :((((( which means giving her so much love to the point where she CANNOT handle it❗️❗️ Poor girl doesn't know what to do when she's been basically in isolation for so long, only to now have someone so undeniably special to her REASSURING her that she's not going to be alone. If that meant overwhelming her and winding her up in the best possible way, well. Who's complaining, really 🤷‍♀️

Shower her in kisses, worship her body. She might be ticklish at first (which is good bc it distracts her :3), but then you get to more sensitive spots on her body and it has her bucking up into you, even tearing up at just how utterly devoted you're being to her

HOLD HER HANDS. OHMYGOD. Keep her laying down as you finger her, let her watch your desire for her translate to reality, let yourself feel just how close she wants you as she tugs you even closer while begging for more. Whatever baby wants, baby gets 😊😊😊😊😊

"Good girl.. good girl, there you go, just... Mmm, keep sucking me like that-- fuck you're so tight, you needed this, didn't you?"

You ask, and yet you expected no answer from her. Why would you, when you had stuffed her mouth with one of your tits, offered it for her to do whatever she wished as your fingers prodded and explored the insides of her wet cunt?

By god, she was trying her best make the most of what she was given, interchanging between her tongue swirling around your nipple and her lips suckling as if she were starved.

And perhaps she was, with the way she had grasped onto you so tightly as you brought her to the peak over and over again in an effort to show just how much you treasure her just for who she is.

Along with the fact that she was here in the present, sharing this moment with you.

You see her eyes go glassy again (it was hard to count just how many times it's happened throughout the night, not like you cared to), and you press a tender kiss on the crown of her head—a stark contrast from your hand's harsh motions, "Let it all out, baby... Let me hear you."

Her mouth lets go of your nipple as she let out a cross between a sob and a dumbed-out whine, her hand moving as a stand-in to squeeze your chest. "Ffffaster, pleeease-- yesyesyesthank you--"

"You're still so polite, you lovely little thing!" You curled your fingers up, in the same direction at which her hips rose up to, "I'll show you just how much I appreciate all of you."

By daybreak, you know your loving partner, however insecure she is now due to the lasting damage done to her after hundreds of years of doing nothing but perform to a grand audience with a role that is much too big and lonely for herself, would be more than assured that she is now accompanied by the present—she is accompanied by you and those who she deems special.

After all, if you were nothing but a dream, then however could she truly feel the raw sensation of every overstimulated nerve in her body?

If this were a dream, then however could she truly feel, for that matter?

Gotta GOGOGO until she's way too exhausted to go on. Furina is built for extensive dramatics, which means that she's going to have stamina, but she wasn't built to FOCUS on stamina, so at some point she Does pass out. Doesn't help that she's so unbelievably touch starved to the point where a LOT of her body's Extremely sensitive to intimate touches soooooo 🥰🥰🥰

And by the end of it? I pray to fucking GOD you both cuddle. She will forever be little spoon so hold her, have your legs all tangled together and make sure she can feel your warmth and the way your chest expands whenever you breathe :3c if this is a dream, then may it be a long-lasting one for the both of you🫶

[stealth-liberal]

Whew, I have a lot to say, and I know for a FACT that not a single non Jewish person on here will give a shit... but I have to vent.

Antisemitism in America is so bad that I honestly don't know if it's safe to send my daughter off to college in 2 years. She doesn't know either. Both of us have discussed her staying home and doing as much of her university education online, so as to keep her safe. She has sensory issues and an anxiety disorder... and already she has been rejected all over the place in her high school campus since 10/7.

The Women's Empowerment Club? The club leader has made it so that no female Jewish student feels safe there, and all of them quit. The little leftist neo nazi in charge of it probably cheered as they left and patted herself on the back for her "praxis". Maybe she can start goose stepping and yelling "Heil Hitler!" while she's at it. But she's not unique. Feminist organizations the world over deny mass rape of Jewish women. Why? Because it's Me Too Unless You're a Jew. They want us all raped and in the grave. Period.

The Pride Club? Forget it. All queer Jewish kids are persona non grata there. Apparently it's cool if Jewish queers are the subject of violence... and I can't say more or I'll start wanting to kill people. I am bisexual, my husband is bisexual, our daughter is lesbian. I have been part of this community since I was 12 as an ally and since I was 15 as a bisexual (took me some time to figure out what I was). My daughter came out in 4th grade for G-d's sake. We've been there, fighting the fight and now... queer organizations all over the world are abandoning us. They honestly hope we will all die, the more violently the better.

I was a proud intersectional feminist and a proud queer woman my whole life. Or at least ever since I could make decisions about that sort of stuff and what I believed. And I have been abandoned, my daughter has been abandoned, for blood sport. Her friends are pulling away from her and we all know why... because she committed the unpardonable sin of being Jewish.

Funny part? The Muslim Student Union has done nothing to her or the other Jewish kids on campus. Ponder that thought leftists if you will.

My son is in 8th grade and for the entirety of his 6th and 7th school years he was relentlessly bullied for being Jewish. We live in a red town and it was right wing antisemitism. It was so bad that I had to remove him for his safety from the school for a while. Now? It's left wing as well, he's catching it from both sides and I don't know how to protect him.

No one cares. Frankly, if my 13 year old son committed suicide to get away from it all... they would throw a party. Another dirty Jew/Zionist down... am I right? None of you give a fuck.

I marched, I protested, I voted, I phone banked. I lived my beliefs in action, and the left betrayed me. They fantasize about me and my children being raped and murdered. The more graphically it could happen, the better for them. Frankly, I think they get off to the videos Hamas released in the privacy of their rooms at night.

There's nowhere to run. Israel isn't an option. I know everyone thinks Jews are dripping in wealth... but I frankly do not have enough money to move my family to the other side of the planet. My husband is in IATSE, the stage hand local. There are no jobs waiting for him there. There are no jobs waiting for me there. I have no family there. Neither does he.

Actually, my husband isn't Jewish. I am, our children are, but he is not. He supports us in our Jewishness 100%, but he is not a Jew and he never wanted to convert. Which is fine with me... but how the hell does that work in a country where there is no civil marriage?

I'm not Orthodox, I don't want to be Orthodox. I want full egalitarianism, so I go to Reform, Renewal, or Conservative synagogues, depending on what is closer to wherever I live. Israel is a VERY Orthodox country, and the options are Orthodox or completely secular. This is a criticism I've been laying at Israel's feet for DECADES.

And Jew Haters better not use this as a way to say how awful Israel is. Not when the countries surrounding Israel are either dictatorships or absolute power, divine right monarchies who kill dissenters constantly.

So... there's really nowhere for my family to go. So I guess I'll stay where I am being a liberal Jew and waiting for the sick marriage of MAGA and Leftists to come to my door and kill me and my family.

None of you care. All of you would cheer. I'll never trust any of you again for the rest of my life. Till the day I die... I'll never trust any of you in any part of my life (online or offline) again.

1 in 5 members of Gen Z think the Holocaust didn't happen. 2/3rds of Gen Z think stories of the Holocaust are exaggerated and that Jews were somewhat complicit in what happened to us. Blame the victim...amirite? The rates amongst Millennials are not as horrific... but they're still bad. You all are going to commit a 2nd Holocaust and pat yourself on the backs. And when history remembers you all as the Nazis part 2... you will babble in your nursing homes that you were "Just trying to save the world from the Zionist/Jewish scourge."

When that happens, I hope you die in a puddle of your own shit.

[grenade-maid]

there's a lot of reasons more people aren't into yuri that are troubling to consider, but equally, I genuinely think it cannot be understated how much of it comes down to most yuri being boring as hell. Like truly. I've been reading the front page of Dynasty Scans like it was the newspaper for 15 years I am not exaggerating I can show you the download file data 15 years.

You know what the complaint about yuri by yuri readers was back in 2009?

"wow that really was just 5 volumes of them blushing at each other and then they don't even kiss"

You know what the complaint about yuri by yuri readers is today in 2023?

"wow that really was just 5 volumes of them blushing at each other and then they don't even kiss"

Don't get me wrong, Yuri has grown a LOT in that time, to the point that most people today wouldn't even understand a Maria-sama reference if it were dropped in front of them (thank God). It's expanded and evolved to encompass more stories about adult women, wider varieties of scenarios, a greater acknowledgement of real life lesbianism, and is more comfortable showing girls kissing with tongue and having sex.

Yuri Manga is maybe the best is it's ever been, and it's also getting the widest readership it's ever had in the English speaking world. The titles we carry at work are always on back order with long queues, and, when I've asked them, most weebs of all gender or sexualities report keeping up with at least a few Yuri series.

At large though? Most of it is still really boring. That's not a bad thing necessarily. I like it because it goes down easy. For the most part any series you pick is gonna be pretty chill. Even shit from Sal Jiang which is PRETTY EDGY for yuri is a pretty breezy read. More serious ones like How Do We Relationship? cover some pretty real subjects about how intimacy is actually quite difficult even when both of you love each other, but it's not like... Exciting. Yuri isn't where you go to pump your fist or get perched on the edge of your seat.

So when the comparison is made to yaoi, well, I mean, have you READ any yaoi? Even in some of the more restrained titles those boys are likely to be sucking and fucking balls and all within the first volume or two. There's gonna be drama, intrigue, shit is gonna get messy, passions are gonna get heated, clothes are gonna be ripped off, people are gonna get sold to One Direction, it's stuff you can sit down with a bowl of popcorn with you know? Stuff you can message your friend and gush Hey Can You BELIEVE? A lot of it is pretty trashy, but that's the appeal. The generic state of yaoi is torrid and exciting and sexy. Ultimately, as a species many of us like to see pretty people fuck. In yaoi you'll get that. In yuri you won't. Nothing wrong with that, but it is gonna be a major contributing factor to their relative popularity.

It's also worth making the comparison to hetero romance manga, which has undergone a renaissance of it's own in recent years. There's now a whole meta around crafting a handful of mean shitty grouchy dysfunctional bully women and flinging them at the protagonist of the day who, unlike in years past, may actually have a face and personality. Most of these are also very trashy and truly scrape the bottom of the bucket in terms of writing.

AND YET?

I would bet money on the fact that you'll have heard of these women and probably even have a good idea what they're like without ever having touched a page of their manga.

I'm sorry but the straights are whipping donuts around the yuri girls in terms of delivering a wide variety of weird compelling fucked up women. How many yuri leading ladies by comparison can you point to as standout recognizable characters even divorced from their story? There's definitely a few, but not many. I'm not talking quality or depth of writing, I'm talking straight up pure recognizability. There are many beautifully written women in yuri, now more than ever. I can't think of many who'd like, get a figure made or have their face splashed on merch, though.

I don't really have a conclusion here. I love Yuri a lot, but at the end of the day this is just kinda the state of things right now.

[reorientation]

I'm very late to this kink but I think I've been in it for years? Not even on purpose.

I live with my roommates, me and my three guy friends 💗 which is funny because it just worked out that way. Anyway, years ago I went through this awful break up and we'll just leave at that. I was crazy about this girl and it like actually messed me up when she broke up with me. So in a really weird mental space but just trying to move on from it, I keep getting crazy drunk with my friends, partying through the pain lol

One in particular, we're pretty tight, I'll call him Zach here. So Zach and I were really close at that time, like really really close, and one night we start doing kind of sexual stuff while really drunk. This wasn't a thing between us at all before that night and I can't remember exactly what lead to it, but yeah we're doing some fool around stuff and then more and then more. I'd never done stuff with guys really, not beyond little party game things, like spin the bottle. He knew that and at one point that night he put it inside me and to be honest I wasn't sure what to think.

I remember at the time wondering if I should stop him or something? I don't know it's kind of funny to think about now, but I was thinking maybe he shouldn't do this, maybe I need to tell him this is too much? It felt really weird and I guess I didn't know if it was in a good way or a bad way yet. But he was saying things like "I can't believe you're letting me do this" and "you're letting me ruin you" and it was so hot that I let him fuck me. Those things he was saying were making me so wet and I guess that's this kink.

He never says that stuff anymore I just remember that being the point where my mind just silenced all the "should I tell him not to?" thoughts and it just went blank while he fucked me. It wasn't crazy good sex, we were really drunk, but it was hot and it was very different from what I was used to.

So all and all this made my other friends jealous because both of us told them. At the time it was really odd! No one saw it coming! So they all wanted a turn lol and I had told them that I found it weirdly hot so of course they both wanted to prove something. Okay one of them, we'll call Tom, wouldn't say that but it's kind of true.

Anyway all three of them got their chance and it just became a thing that would happen pretty frequently. Maybe a few times a week? I'm a very horny person so being single has always been hard on me and on top of that I'm an attention whore. I wouldn't say I'm not a lesbian because I'm still not attracted to men but I am definitely a big enough attention whore that it doesn't matter lol I just like that they all need to get with me.

So over the years this arrangement has been a thing I guess, when I'm single they can just fuck me whenever because my libido is really high. They don't talk about me being a lesbian while we fuck but I notice every once in awhile I find it kind of hot that they might think about getting to fuck a lesbian yknow like they think it might change something? I think about how Zach said that stuff and it still makes me wet, I think I should bring it up to him maybe? But that might be weird.

One of the really juicy things that happened recently was that Tom fucked me really hard. Tom has always been a very sweet kind of guy and he definitely is that guy in bed, but he also hasn't been fucking me at all for the past... five months maybe because he has a serious girlfriend. But a few weeks ago he came home and we were chilling and he got very intense and held me down and fucked me really hard from behind. Like toe curling hard. It was so hot and I had already found this kink so I kept thinking about it as like him trying to "break" me.

He hasn't done anything with me since but I wish they would get in on this kink without me saying anything. I feel like I can't say it because it'd be embarrassing and weird, but it'd also kind of ruin it to ask for it? Or maybe it'd just turn my brain off again when they actually said something and it wouldn't matter?

What a pure, sweet example of lesbian sexuality: a girl who's been maximum-convenience, any-time-you-want pussy for three different men for years, but "wouldn't say that I'm not a lesbian because I'm still not attracted to men".

As if it matters! As if your little categorization criterion means anything when you spend your life taking cock whenever men decide you will!

The very first time a man fucked you, he said the right words to get your mind blank and your pussy wet - and now it's years later, and you've been fucked hundreds of times.

And the funny thing is, they don't even have to earn it by playing with the dykebreaking kink. That's your idea, that you use to get off, and you're hoping that they'll indulge you in it. Countless guys get off to the idea, but I don't know if it even really occurs to the men fucking you anymore: how do you see a girl as a lesbian when you and your buddies have been emptying your balls in her for years?

But if you're too shy to ask them to think of you that way, the solution is easy enough. Have you ever spread your legs for them on top of a lesbian flag? Worn a "This is what a lesbian looks like" shirt until they took it off?

Just remind them what you claim to be, as you keep being a good fucktoy for them. With any luck, they'll laugh at you for it, as they fuck your little "lesbian" brains out.

[gatheringbones]

[“G: Why did you get pregnant?

M: To prove to myself that I was a woman.

G: And then how did you feel about it?

M: I had been doing a lot of self-destructive things since I was thirteen - I dove into heterosexuality and I did it angrily and was contemptuous of any man I ever fucked. I somehow thought that fucking them would get back at them for everything, and somehow I thought that debasing myself would do something. So I got pregnant, which was very heavy 'cause at the time I thought I wanted to have kids. I really believed that there was a living person in me - my whole body was freaking out. They say you can't feel it, but I felt that energy, and I knew there was something alive in me - even if it was not more than a lump of cells, I thought it was still something alive - it was something that I was going to stop from being alive, but I figured I would rather do that. First of all I knew if I had a boy I'd drown it, and even if it was a girl I knew it had 23 genes I hated - and I didn't know who had made me pregnant. All of my hostility came to the surface - I was blind with fury and it all came out. I couldn't sit in the same room with one without wanting to murder him, literally. I couldn't listen to male music, I couldn't read male poetry. Lots of great male artists who had always been a great comfort to me I just couldn't... no male... I couldn't deal with any male, I hated them. After I calmed down about that it became very clear to me that I loved women, and I always had loved women, and that I had never had good relationships with men. I had always had good relationships with women. I had never been attracted to men, I had always been attracted to women, and I realized that I was just going to have to get used to the fact that I was a lesbian.

G: You had an abortion then?

M: Yes. I had two abortions... that was the first one. I dropped out of school and plunged right into feminism. It was obvious to me even at the time that the main reason I was there was because I wanted to come out. I wanted to come out so bad - I just wanted to do it and get it over with, you know, and just be comfortable in my identity as a lesbian. I had been avoiding the women's movement for years because I didn't want people to think that I was the old dyke who couldn't get a man. I wasn't able to become a feminist until I realized that I didn't give a shit if I was an ugly old dyke who couldn't get a man. I didn't want a man anyway. So I became active in the women's movement, and I met lesbians for the first time in my life. It was scary because even though I knew I was one I had never met a real one.

G: Were you saying you were a lesbian at that time?

M: Oh yeah, I had been saying that I was a lesbian for years before that. I can remember saying to a friend a couple of years before, when I was fucking all these men, "You know, I'll bet I'm a lesbian, because people with case histories like mine always turn out... if I didn't know me and I heard my case history I would be convinced that was a lesbian." And she said, "Oh, don't worry, you're not a lesbian." She tried to reassure me, but I knew. I just didn't want to deal with it; it was scary being a lesbian. Particularly since being a woman was so important in my family. So I became involved in the women's movement full-time. Then I needed money - so I got a job as a waitress. I was working nights and sleeping during the day and I didn't have any time for the women's movement. The only people I was hanging out with were the people I worked with. All of a sudden, since I didn't give a shit about men, I was really attractive to them. I'd never been attractive to them before, but all of a sudden I was fascinating - I guess every man want to fuck a dyke, you know, to prove they're a real man. So they started following me home. I was horny and I didn't have any lesbians knocking at my door, and I knew how to manipulate men, so I figured fuck it, I'll give them one more chance - so I started fucking a couple of guys. I told them, "Look, I hate men. I'm  a lesbian, I haven't come out yet, but I promise you I'm a lesbian." So I fucked them. And at that time I had an IUD which I had gotten after my first abortion, which they had promised me would be very effective. I got pregnant again, six months after my first abortion. My second abortion was really nice. I went to a really nice clinic and it was very clear to me, never again, never again. It's over. There was a really nice woman who was my counselor and I was awake for the abortion. She was holding my hand and while the fetus was being taken out of my body I was holding her hand saying to her, "Never again," and she said, "Oh, you're going to come out?" I said, "Oh, yes," and she said, "Far out," and she called across the room to another woman who was a counselor, and said, "Hey, this woman's coming out." It was so nice, so supportive, she's holding my hand, a woman, and I was telling her that I was a lesbian. She was telling me that that was great, and they were taking that goddamn thing out of my uterus. It was almost worth being pregnant, it was such a nice abortion. I was so into her that I didn't feel any pain, it was annoying, but all of a sudden it was over. It was really nice.”]

The New Lesbians, edited by Laurel Galana and Gina Covina, moon books, 1977

[butchpeace]

I want to have an important discussion: This is a disclaimer that I'm not seeking to cause trouble but need to get this off my chest. I've seen you give advice to many young women on here and hope you have something to say here. Of course, feel free to delete the ask if it's too much. I'm a heterosexual female who spent time in radical feminist spaces as a teenager. Growing up, I struggled with being the only female in a socially conservative, religious and immigrant household. The trifecta of hell. I started wishing to be a boy ever since I was a young girl because I hated how I was treated for being female by my family.

I got into radical feminist spaces as a teenager, after my brief stint as a trans-identified female and, I can honestly say, it didn't help in a way that mattered. Sure, it was nice to have other women who related to my experience, but can we talk about the corrosive hatred that goes on in these spaces? It exacerbated my dislike and discomfort with being female with all the talk about being oppressed and hated systematically by men. How does a young, heterosexual girl process that and still go on to have healthy, normal relationship with men?

What's the end goal with radical feminism, exactly? A young girl peaks and is aware, but then what? Naturally, she'll have negative feelings towards men and the patriarchy, and because radical feminism is not interested in bridging understanding between men and women, we're left with two paths: we embrace the cope of trad women or we suffer more while "aware".

Let's face it: I genuinely don't believe that women's liberation is possible with an antagonistic view towards men or even at all. As much as I hate to say it, we see what happened to the women under Taliban. Men allowed and supported feminism for their own interest. If the male government didn't see value to it, it would have been crushed and done with. Men have been in power for centuries, across many, if not all aspects of the world. And they also have women (likely heterosexual) willing to support them because the path of least resistance is safer for them. I don't want to put down women here, but what else can I say?

I don't believe in female separatism and such a proposed, isolating and unrealistic "solution" makes me wonder if radical feminists know, acknowledge and work with the simple fact that the majority of women are heterosexual, so we have an innate attraction to men that wasn't "conditioned" and can't go away once you've gone to enough feminist meet-ups. Or is radical feminism realistically only for lesbians who can naturally decenter men romantically and be completely fine.

I still believe in radical feminism and its ideas. I don't believe men are innocent, but I'm trying to overcome my hatred towards them because it accomplished nothing. I'm realizing that radical feminism, in its current state, isn't providing answers for me, but I'm sure some other heterosexual women would agree. What's the solution here? I still think radical feminism is an important part of my life, but I'm also done sticking my head in the sand. It's really bringing back my old feelings of wanting to transition. Sorry for being a gender traitor.

I have a more nuanced look at all of this than some people do, so I don’t think everyone will agree with me. But…

Personally I believe that being aware of how patriarchal oppression works is always a net positive, even though it hurts to be aware. Understanding the problem is how we learn to fight back and change things.

I 100% hear what you’re saying though about toxicity in online communities and how the hatred and fear of men can snowball to an unnecessary degree. I see it too and I don’t like it. But generally that kind of attitude is coming from women who have been seriously harmed by men and need a place to vent about it. At what point these spaces and that attitude become unhealthy for them is an individual question.

So yeah there’s some bad vibes. But the solution isn’t to turn our backs on feminism. The solution is to shift to doing work that has real life meaning, and the potential to make real life change in the lives of women. Radical feminism wasn’t ever just about sitting in a room together and complaining about men. It’s about taking those feelings, and our understanding of gender oppression, and turning it into action. Whatever form that action takes.

I also think that the whole concept of separatism is poorly understood in the online community. Not many people are truly advocating for everyone to live in female-only communes and never interact with males. Although that is important for us to have as an option.

I think the general goal of separatism can be looked at more broadly - It’s about creating female only spaces that we can use when we need them. Domestic violence shelters, women’s organizations, even book clubs and female-only friend groups are all part of the goal. That way, separatism is woven into our daily lives in ways that support us and help us heal.

We need places where we can support each other’s mental and physical health, do consciousness raising, and talk about activism outside of male influence. That’s separatism.

At the very least, heterosexual women can benefit from temporarily having a female-only space after they’ve been victimized or harmed by a man. Eventually going back into the wider world and having relationships with men again shouldn’t be seen as a sign of betrayal. It’s natural for everyone to want love and companionship with someone they’re attracted to.

A lot of people would disagree with me on that last point, and say that male-attracted women should just never have sex or a relationship. I think that’s unrealistic, and the broader goal is to decenter men.

So many women put a man at the center of their world, put all their care and effort into that man, to the point that she isn’t taking care of herself and she’s disconnected from other women. That leaves her vulnerable to abuse and manipulation. That’s the problem that radical feminism wants to solve.

Thinking of it that way, the goal would be to take care of yourself first, cultivate female-only spaces and relationships, and essentially just put the men in your life secondary to your own wellbeing.

No shade at all to anyone, but I think a lot of women are using radblr as an “I hate men” space rather than really learning about what radical feminists were saying and trying to turn that into productive action.

Edit to add: Also, if you don’t find that you relate to radical feminism specifically, there are plenty of other schools of thought within feminism. “Radical feminism”, at least online, seems to me like it’s a catch all for everyone who doesn’t agree with the more mainstream form of liberal feminism. But we’re all individuals with our own ideas, forming our own opinions, and that’s what it’s all about! The important thing isn’t what label you use, it’s what you’re doing.

[youling-the-ghost]

sfth incorrect quotes pt.8 because I have to compensate for not posting these for almost a week even though I just posted one yesterday

AJ: Adulting is hard. AJ: How do I quit? Tom: Time travel. Sam: Die. (yes the time travel was a reference to Tom's lesbian scifi comic) Luke: I'm gonna need a human skull but you can't ask why. Sam: Only if you also don't ask why. Sam: *pulls four pristine human skulls out of his bag* Luke: ... Luke, grabbing a skull: This one will do. Tom: Damn, the power went out. AJ: Don’t worry, I got this. AJ: *shakes rapidly and starts to light up* Tom: What-? AJ: I swallowed a glow stick! Tom, on the verge of tears: WHY WOULD YOU-

Luke: But who gets which pencil? Sam: Since they're my things, I get the good one, Tom and AJ get the broken ones and you don't get one because fuck you. Sam: Why do you not believe that ghosts are real? Tom: Never seen one. Sam: Okay, I mean, there’s a lot of things that you can’t see that are real. Tom: What can’t I see? Sam: You can’t see gravity. That’s real. Tom: Yeah, I can drop an apple. Sam: Fuck. AJ: *is hugging Luke* Tom: Hey! It's my turn to hug Luke! Tom: *grabs Luke* Sam: *kicks down the door* What do you mean, "yOuR tUrN"? We agreed now is my time slot! AJ: No, It's still my turn! Luke, suffocating: Guys, I love you, but just because I'm the smallest doesn't mean you can be hugging me constantly! AJ: But we need the moral support! Tom: And you're small! Which is cute! Sam: If I don't hug you right now I think the depression will kick in and my body will stop functioning. Luke, close to tears: Well- I, I guess. Luke: I hate you with every inch of my body! Sam: That’s not a lot of inches. AJ, texting: Don't worry, I have your phone! Text me when you're gonna come get it! Tom: I have no respect for Santa. Don’t sneak in through the chimney and undermine my authority by bringing my family presents. Walk in through the front door and fight me like a man. Tom: There are three ways to handle a difficult situation. The right way, the wrong way, and the Sam way. AJ: Isn't that the wrong way? Tom: Yes, but it's faster. Hairdresser: How would you like your hair cut? Sam: Preferably with scissors, but a sword could be badass. Luke: What do you call a dictionary on drugs? Tom: If you say "addict-ionary" I swear I will slap you. Luke: I was actually going to say "high definition", but your answer's much better. Tom: *sees someone doing something stupid* Tom: What an idiot. Tom: *realizes it's AJ* Tom: Wait, that's MY idiot! Sam: Can you pass the salt? Luke: Can you pass away? Sam: Too much salt. Luke: I mean, sure, I have my bad days, but then I remember what a cute smile I have. Tom: Say no to drugs. Luke: Say yes to drugs. Sam: It doesn't matter if you say yes or no to drugs. If you're talking to drugs.. then you're on drugs. Sam: Yum, thanks! Kidnapper: *puts more tape over his mouth* I said stop eating it. Luke, to the Squad: If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands! *silence* Luke: Damn, y’all depressed as fuck! AJ: You didn’t clap either- Luke: SHUT UP! AJ: English is CRAZY. Oregano is both a spaghetti leaf topping and a form of paper art! Tom: What is this "paper art" you speak of? AJ: That shit where you make cranes and stuff out of folded paper! Tom: ...AJ. AJ: I honestly feel like some of our conversations here are almost word-for-word accurate to the generator. Tom: Yup. Sam: Maybe the generator is watching us. AJ: Wouldn't that imply this conversation will be added? AJ: ... AJ: Wait— (I just included this because breaking the 4th wall is funny) AJ: This was almost a great idea. Sam: You just described 90% of our stuff. Tom: I’ve never smoked marijuana. I ate a brownie once at a party. It was intense. It was kind of indescribable. I felt like I was floating. Turns out there was no pot in the brownie. It was just an insanely good brownie. AJ: Hey do you wanna hang out this weekend? Luke: Generic excuse. AJ: I can’t believe you said that out loud, to my face. Luke: I can. AJ: Wasn't icarly that guy that girlbossed too close to the sun because he was down for Apollo? Sam: ICARUS? Tom: Is something burning? Luke: My burning love for you of course! Tom: ... Luke: ... Luke: And the kitchen is on fire... AJ: Hey, did you know as a kid I accidentally ate paper? Luke: I feel like we've all done that at least once. Sam: I ate it too- Luke: See? Sam: -On purpose... AJ & Luke: ...What? Tom, texting Sam: Roses are red, Tony Hawk is a skater... Sam′s phone, auto-replying: I’m driving right now–I’ll get back to you later. *Later* Sam, texting back: Fuck you.

[uconnposter01]

Me and you

Warnings: Cursing

3.k Words

Chapter 1

October 2021   3rd person pov

Aniyah Sanchez was uncomfortable, she has been at this house party for 2 hours and if one more frat boy tried to hit on her or try to touch her she was gonna scream, she was only here because her teammates  wanted to go out and since they haven't in over a year she was down to come but now Aniyah's over it. It's hot, she's tired, it's crowded, and her teammates were preoccupied with other people leaving Aniyah alone on a couch in the living room surrounded by loud drunk students.

"Damn girl you are bad as shit" a male voice says in her ear way too close for comfort. 

"6 feet” Aniyah says, finding herself starting to feel annoyed.

"My bad" the guy next to her said, backing up a little 

 Aniyah looked at the guy over seeing a light skinned  guy with short curly hair and green eyes. Both of his arms are covered in tattoos, his teeth a vibrant white.

She could tell by the smirk on his face he usually got whatever girl he wanted and the way he shamelessly checked out Aniyah made her skin crawl. 

"I'm gay boo so move along"Aniyah says looking at her nails dismissing the man.

 "Damn don't be like that girl, so I can't even get your name,I'm Ant” 'he says flashing his million dollar smile. 

Aniyah took a deep breath hoping telling Ant her name he would just leave her alone. 

 "Aniyah'' She replied, praying that the interaction would end.

 "See, that was so hard," Ant says, sitting down on the couch.

“Why are you sitting down?" Aniyah questions her eyebrows furrowing  in confusion.

You don't want no friends?" Ant questions smirking.

     He didn't believe the girl next to him could be gay she is way too beautiful. Ant figured if he smooth talked to her and got her to take her guard down he would be golden. 

"Nope" Aniyah says, putting emphasis on the letter p. 

“ What you drink, let me get you a drink from the kitchen,” Ant says, smirking. 

“Fuck no” Aniyah says rolling her eyes.

”Damn, you kinda mean," Ant said, rubbing the back of his neck.

Not sure what to say,he didn't want to give up on the beauty,he was sure she was the most attractive girl in the party right now. He couldn't help but to stare at her hazel almond shaped eyes, they hung low and Ant couldn't tell if it was from weed or was it natural.

"I'm not mean enough seeing that you are still here trying to talk to me" Aniyah responds back rolling her eyes once more. 

"Sheesh" Ant mumbles.

Aniyah's standoffish attitude wasn't gonna deter him though. Once again Ant begin’s to stare at Aniyah, this time noticing how full her lips are,and he couldn't help but think what they would feel like wrapped around his dick.

 "Nigga can you stop staring at me" Aniyah snaps glaring over at Ant

"What's with the attitude shawty?" Ant asks, eyebrows creased in confusion. 

"I'm gonna say this nicely. I'm a lesbian, I'm not interested at all, leave me alone before I get real mean "Aniyah stresses, about to go off on the man.

"How you even know you gay?" Ant asks, disregarding what Aniyah said trying to scoot closer to the brown skinned girl.

 "How do you even know you're straight?" Aniyah questions.

"I'm serious, I think you haven’t got the right dick yet" Ant says, his eyes trailing down the girl's  body hungrily. Aniyah looked at the guy sitting next to her with pure repulse, not too sure Ant took the girl's silence as a cue to move closer and touch Aniyah's thigh.

"Don't fucking touch me nigga, are you fucking dumb dickhead" Aniyah yells pushing Ant away from her. 

"Why are you acting like a bitch, I'm being nice to you and everything, you ain't that cute to have that much of a fucked up attitude" Ant complains, his eyebrows furrowed in anger.

"Because I'm gay, I'm a fucking lesbian,I don't know why your dumbass can't grasp that shit, my body language and my words are telling you that I don't want to be fucking bothered, stop trying to talk to me, I'm not interested in your dumbass take the fucking hint!" Aniyah yells even louder. 

Before Ant could reply to the girl yelling next to him, someone behind him spoke up. 

“Yo, I don't think she wants to be bothered, move along” A tall blond said behind Ant.

    Aniyah looks over at the girl instantly recognizing her as a player on UConn's women's basketball team, she couldn't lie the point guard looked good, way too good if you asked Aniyah. The blond had on an all black Nike tech suit with low top panda dunks on her feet, her straight hair pulled back in a low bun.

"This you?" Ant questions the girl towering over him.

 "Yup, that's all me” Paige says, licking her lips and  looking past Ant and at Aniyah.

“Nah you lying, she’s pretty as hell he can’t be gay” Ant replies in disbelief. 

“You sound ignorant as hell bro, get the fuck outta here, ain’t nothing over here for you” Paige says glaring at the guy. 

“Whatever, shawty wasn’t that cute anyway" Ant gumbles, stomping away, angry he couldn’t take  Aniyah home.

  “My bad ma,I didn't mean to come over like that, but I overheard you and I couldn't just stand there and listen to that shit happen” Paige says rubbing the back of her neck. 

”I appreciate it, I really do,” Aniyah says, biting her bottom lip. 

She likes hearing the point guard call her ma, and between the eye contact and the nickname it all made Aniyah feel somewhat special and giddy. but the giddy feeling disappeared once Aniyah remembered that Paige is a player and that she has probably said these same things to other girls. After hearing so many stories about Paige from her teammate Jazmine she's not sure if she really wants to deal with Paige on a serious level, but she didn't mind having fun.

“What's up ma, you good?” Paige asks,her face etched with concern noticing a slight change in Aniyah’s mood.

 Her face etched with concern noticing a slight change in Aniyah. Paige is so excited to finally talk to the girl, she's seen her everywhere and she couldn't get the girl out of her mind,no matter how hard Paige tried. The first time Paige saw Aniyah on campus was in the dining hall, the second time she saw her was at the library and the third time she saw her was at her game sitting in the crowd and Paige ended up scoring 31 points that night.

As bad as she wanted to go up to the girl each time, Paige decided not to,knowing she has a player reputation. A nasty rumor that started going around on campus during Paige’s freshman year and not being sure if the girl to her left was aware of the rumors about her she never had the confidence to go up to the girl.

Paige was excited, as soon as she saw the girl walk in with the rest of her friends Paige knew this was her chance to talk to her. She proceeded to watch the girl from afar the moment she got here two hours ago waiting for the opportunity to speak to her.

After gaining some liquid courage and overhearing what was happening with Ant, she knew she couldn't pass up the opportunity to help the girl out and talk to her. Paige has let the girl slip through her fingers on three separate occasions; she refused to let it happen again. 

“Yeah I'm good,” Aniyah says, flashing a closed mouth smile. 

“You sure?” Paige asks scooting a little closer. 

“I promise I'm sure” Aniyah responds softly  looking in Paige’s eyes.

The energy around the two girls felt thick as they continued to look at each other, their stares filled with lust and longing.

   “Is this okay?” Paige questions softly, putting her hand on Aniyah’s exposed thigh. 

“Yes” says just as soft her eyes never leaving the intense stare of Paige's blue eyes. 

“What's your name ma?”Paige asks softly in the girl’s ear. 

“Aniyah” She responds just as softly, glancing down at Paige's lips. 

“Paige,” the blond says, holding out her hand to the girl.

 Paige kissed Aniyah's hand and she immediately started to feel  flustered trying to hide her smile Aniyah faced the other direction.

“You are so beautiful please don't hide that pretty ass smile from me, I love it already” Paige says while gently turning Aniyah's face back to her.

Aniyah's smile and the blush on her face grew even wider. Paige smiled back enamored by the braces clad girl, she wanted to learn everything she could about Aniyah she has never been this attracted and infatuated with anyone before especially not this fast.

 ”Do you smoke”? Paige asks after a moment pulling out a baggie with 4 blunts in the process. 

“Of course,” Aniyah responds. 

“Come out back with me, It’s hot, loud and packed in here and I wanna get to know you better” Paige says standing up.

Aniyah stood up with her and they walked towards the back of the house. Paige led Aniyah through the party with her hand resting on the small of her back.

 Aniyah couldn’t lie she became enamored with Paige in the short amount of time of being in her presence just off of the energy alone, she wasn't stupid though.  Even  though Jazmine’s words about Paige kept playing over and over in her head, and right now Paige is saying all of the right things that's and doing all of the right stuff.

Even down to her confidence that bordered on cockiness that was emitting out of her, It all screamed player and it made her nervous, but Aniyah isn’t looking for anything too serious right now, she couldn’t even look for something serious if she even tried so this could be a good thing.

The pair walked towards the outdoor couch, the twosome both picking opposite sides of the wicker couch to sit. 

“Why you sitting so far, come mere” Paige mumbles, lighting the blunt.

 Aniyah inhaled trying to not let her attraction for the girl make her make a fool of herself. 

 “That’s it ma, I won't bite, I mean unless you want me too” Paige teases, her eyes are already starting to become hazy. Paige passes Aniyah the blunt and she watches the girl inhale and look up in the sky.

Maybe I do” Aniyah flirts looking over at Paige passing the girl back the blunt. 

The vibe between the two was thick with tension, both semi lost in their thoughts about each other and how to proceed in the conversation.

  “Tell me bout yourself” Paige says, glancing down at Aniyah’s lips.

 “What do you wanna know?” Aniyah questions.

 “Everything” Paige states, turning to face the girl.

“Well I’m 19,  Aquarius gang over here, a Freshman, I’m from PA, my major is Sports Management and my favorite color is green '' Aniyah says rattling off basic information about herself. 

“Where in PA, and you know i wanna know your birthday mama not ya sign, lemme me know when that is” Paige says rubbing her hands together. 

“February 13th” Aniyah says, finishing up the blunt and pulling out another one.                                           "Damn, Ma you a stoner for real huh” Paige teases.

“Yeah” Aniyah says laughing and lighting the blunt, her eyes  glossy and red. 

“Back to birthday’s tho, it’s lowkey crazy that ya birthday is right before Valentine’s Day''Paige says laughing.

 “I know right, It’s pretty chill I guess,'' Aniyah says, feeling like she’s talking about herself a little too much. 

“You didn’t answer my other question though” Paige says, blowing out smoke, looking over at Aniyah intensely. 

 “ What question?” Aniyah questions her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

  ``Where in PA you from, I meant it when I said, I wanna know everything bout you” Paige says softly while staring at the girl.  

  “I’m from Upper Darby, it’s the Philly suburbs,” Aniyah explains. 

“Cool, cool Imma have to come see the vibe down there” Paige said smiling.                   

  " Okay I'll take you one day, I wanna know about you know, tell me about you though” Aniyah replies softly.                                                                                        “Well I’m from Minnesota, I'm 20, I play ball,  my birthday is October 20th and my favorite color is purple,” Paige responds.

  “Oh shit happy belated birthday, I'm sorry I didn't realize your birthday was a couple of days ago,” Aniyah says, playing with her fingers.                                                                                     

It’s aight ma, how was you supposed to know we just met like 30 mins ago ''Paige jokes.       

    “I know, but still” Aniyah says, pouting

“Do you like basketball?” Paige questions after another moment of silence.

   “Yeah, not as much as my sister though, I've even been to a couple of Uconn games” Aniyah says.

  “ How often do you usually go to the games?” Paige questions, licking her lips. 

  “Whenever I can really” Aniyah answers looking over at Paige, glancing at her lips in the process. 

“You be busy?” Paige asks quietly while focusing intently on Aniyah.

   “A lot of times yeah, I do gymnastics and sometimes I genuinely just don't feel like leaving my dorm, my sister goes to all of the games though,she said she's gonna get y'all to come to my meets” Aniyah rambles.

Paige’s heart drops a little hearing that Aniyah is a gymnast,  the chances of her knowing about those rumors have increased tenfold.

     “Who ya sister?” Paige questions her eyes glancing down at Aniyah’s lips.

    “Nuveah Sanchez” Aniyah answers.

    Paige’s face lit up upon hearing the Soccer players name, Nuveah and Paige had gotten pretty close during the 2020 school year, they really couldn't hang out or interact too much,however they would play Fortnite and text all of the time.

  “Nu-Nu is my dawg, she talks about you all of the time, she never said your name though or showed you to us, I would've remembered” Paige says once again glancing down at Aniyah’s lips.

  No matter how hard Paige tried not to look at Aniyah’s lips she couldn't help but to, they look so soft and smooth and she desperately wants to feel them on hers. Aniyah quickly caught on to Paige staring at her lips; Paige wasn't even being sneaky anymore she was blatantly staring at her lips. Aniyah didn't mind though, in fact it made Aniyah feel prideful and bold. Licking her lips Aniyah glances over at Paige to see her reaction. Paige bites her lip and clears her throat moving closer to Aniyah so there's no room in between them. Grabbing the blunt gently from Paige’s hand Aniyah lights it puffs and exhales.

“Can I try something?” Aniyah questions softly, grabbing Paige’s chin

   “Yeah of course ma” Paige says just as softly, her eyes low and her voice husky.

Aniyah takes a hit from the blunt and lightly puts her lips on Paige’s blowing smoke into her mouth in the process. Paige opens her mouth accepting the smoke.

   “Damn” Paige says, exhaling the smoke, her eyes dilated and low.

 Aniyah touched her lips still feeling Paige’s lips on hers. Paige wants to kiss Aniyah, the spark she felt when she had her lips lightly touched her lips still lingered. 

Your lips are so soft" Paige says softly while gently tracing Aniyah’s lips with her thumb.

"Thank you" Aniyah says, staring in Paige’s eyes.

"Can I feel them again ma?" Paige asks, her voice low, dripping with desire.

    Aniyah leans in, her lips softly gently meets Paige’s lips in a kiss that is firm and soft. Paige sighs into the kiss, her hands slowly sliding down to Aniyah’s waist. Breaking the kiss Aniyah rests her forehead against Paige’s relishing the kiss the pair just had. Paige wants to kiss Aniyah again, the kiss was everything that Paige thought it would be plus more. She wants to kiss Aniyah over and  over again. Before Paige could lean in and kiss Aniyah once again a voice interrupts her.

     “There you are, I was looking for you, i’m ready to go” Jazmine whines coming outside.

Paige separates from Aniyah after hearing Jazmine's voice not wanting the girl to catch them she didn’t have it in her to deal with a Jazmine  tantrum. 

  “Hey girl” Aniyah says awkwardly slowly scooting away from Paige. 

Jazmine felt anger bubbling up inside when she saw Paige with Aniyah, she had so many questions, why were they out here alone, and why did they look so awkward and guilty. 

“What’s going on with ya’ll?” Jazmine questions annoyance covering her features.

“Nothing, we just chilling,” Paige mumbles, looking down.

 Agitation and sadness spread throughout Paige once she saw Jazmine, Aniyah knowing Jazmine made Paige realize that she 100% knows about the rumors or that they sleep together which made Paige a little worried, she wants to try to pursue something with the girl, and those two big factors make things a little more complicated for Paige.

“You ready to go?” Jazmine asks sharply to Aniyah while glaring over at Paige.

“Yeah, just gimme a minute, I'll  meet you out front” Aniyah says dismissing Jazmine.

“I can wait for you here” Jazmine says sitting in between Paige and Aniyah.

“ Chill, we just talking,” Paige grunts, feeling annoyed. 

“You can’t talk in front of me?” Jazmine questions angrily at the blond.

“Why you acting like this”? Paige asks, looking over at Jazmine, her nostrils flaring in the process.

“Like what, I’m just waiting for my friend” Jazmine challenges.

“Whatever bro” Paige mutters her voice low and tense.

Aniyah sat clueless at the end of the wicker couch confused on the nature of the relationship between the two girls, Jazmine always says that Paige did her friend dirty, but this is a little too intense. Jazmine seems way too jealous right now for her and Paige to not be way more familiar than her just being a friend of someone that Paige fucked in the past. 

“Get my number from Nu-Nu, imma go head and leave, I’ll talk to you later okay” Aniyah says standing up.

“Aight ma” Paige mumbles standing up and pulling Aniyah into a hug.

Jazmine stares angrily at Paige during the hug with Aniyah biting her tongue not wanting to expose the nature of her relationship with Paige, she will be addressing Paige about this later.

“Let’s go” Jazmine huffs getting up.

“Jazzy slow down, why are you so mad?” Aniyah says as she struggles to keep up with Jazmine.

“We’ll talk when we get to our dorm” Jazmine grumbles.

“Girl what, I wanna talk right now” Aniyah says not appreciating how Jazmine is treating her like a child.

“Why did you do the opposite of what I said with Paige” Jazmine questions her voice tense with anger. 

Aniyah blinks, not wanting to go off on Jazmine, taking a deep breath Aniyah pauses before continuing. 

“Because I wanted to, why are you so mad about this?” Aniyah questions her eyebrow raised slightly.

“I told you all the shit did to my friend, and you ignore that and still go fuck with her”Jazmine says her tone confused.

“I don’t want nor can I do a relationship, so I’m cool with just fucking around” Aniyah says nonchalantly shrugging. 

Jazmine rolls her eyes and says nothing to Aniyah, knowing that she would say some smart shit to her, and she damn sure didn’t want to have any issues with Aniyah. Both girls get inside the uber the energy between them is icy and tense. After getting to her dorm Aniyah wordlessly goes inside her room. She truly didn’t understand why Jazmine is being so weird about Paige, she appreciates the girl for trying to look out for her but she’s good. She’ll just check in with the girl and make sure they are still good when the sun comes out. 

  After completing her nightly routine Aniyah laid in bed scrolling through Tik Tok, when she got a message that made her smile grow immensely.

          203-436-2177: Hey ma its Paige

                   Read: 1:20 AM

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Criticism more than welcomed

I hope y'all have a good day 💜

[eylih]

Frozen fandom, I have a message for you!

Y'all really need to calm down on the asumptions cause it's possible that none of them turn on canon. I'm gonna adress the two big ones: Norse myth and Hans (by extension Helsa)

Unless, we've heard completely different speeches, Jennifer Lee never mentionned Norse myth. The castle in the sky could be Asgard as much as it could not. Let's not forget the question castle ruins in Ahtohallan. Ahtohallan already being its own entity. Norse myth could play a role in F3 and F4 as well as it could not. Yes, Frozen has inspirations and references to Norse myth, but it's not the only one . One thing you tend to forget is the great inspiration of Saami culture the Frozen franchise have, especially in the second movie. It would be more logical if they keep that way for the new movies instead of going after Norse myth as their main base. Nothing's confirmed.

Y'all have the right to make every theory you want but, keep in mind that at the end of the day, they remain theories. Mrs Lee told us to not hold onto that concept art. Let's consider all possibilities. It could be completely wipped off and we wouldn't know before 2027. Don't forget they were still chanoine the script a few months before F2 premiere and that Elsa was villian before Mrs got involved in the project. We're never sure with Frozen.

I'ma be fully honest, I don't want Hans to be a relevant character again and I'm quite fine with him being a joke along the franchise. The idea of a redemption arc with him having a positive role in the sisters' story, the possibility of Helsa even more make me sick. BUT all I'm about to say could also apply to my views on Honeymaren and elsamaren.

"Coming out of Frozen 2, we still have some questions. A lot of questions. That is just page one. Now you see why it will take two films to answer them. Just a tease, once again just a tease." These are Mrs Lee's words

This more looks like a list of the questions they've received. Rather than the ones F3 and F4 are gonna answer. Mrs Lee didn't say that. Considering the fact that the first two are already answered. Ahtohallan. The fifth spirit is the human spirit, Elsa and Anna are the bridge between spirits and humans (one side of each). Just watch Frozen 2 and the Myth short, please.

But let's say, all of these questions are gonna get answered. Some of them can just be mentionned a few seconds. And It's still not a confirmation of Hans's return and even less of a potential redemption arc. You can theorize what you want but Hans could also remain a blatant franchise joke. Or we could just see a memory of him in Ahtohallan showing what he became. Mrs Lee didn't confirm which characters are coming back for the sequels (even though it seems clear our five MCs and the Nokk are). We don't know anything about Hans's future.

1- Long story short, I'm not telling y'all what you should believe or not, I'm just asking to not act like what is NOT confirmed is. Don't hold too much on your asumptions cause you might end up not appreciating the actual movies if none of them happens. As an elsamaren shipper, I feel what I say.

2- I also fear y'all might start a new misinformation wave. Critical thinking and media literacy being concepts unknown in most of the fandoms, it can turn out really bad. I haven't forgotten how dirty some of you did Honeymaren just you didn't like the idea of lesbian Elsa. To this day, there are still being convinced she is her cousin. I remember really well how many people fall for that ai fake news made by a SATIRE disney account that Elsa was getting married to a woman in F3...

[bengiyo]

Sailom from Wedding Plan? 👀 ✨?

Ah, Sailom, my beloved. Thank you, bestie.

How I feel about this character

I think he's one of the best versions of a closeted rich man we've ever had in Thai BL. Sailom works so well because Namnuea isn't poor, and Wiwa Square isn't struggling. He's also got completely valid reasons for withholding information from Namnuea. The way this situation spiraled is so believable, and it's also believable how they got themselves out of it. This is my favorite MAME work because I completely get both Namnuea and Sailom. I will forever love this man for putting his own life on hold to protect his best friend's lesbian relationship.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Namnuea, baby!! My man earned this moment!

But also...I know in my heart that he and Prapai fucked exactly twice in England.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Yihwa is the only answer. The entire story revolves around how much Sailom is willing to sacrifice for her. The reason why they are one of the best platonic OTP's of all time is that Yihwa and Marine never took what Lom was doing for them for granted, and they were also unwilling to let him sacrifice something real with Namnuea for them. He and Yihwa protected each other for over a decade. He was genuinely sad when they couldn't go to England for their wedding. Their friendship is so important to me.

My unpopular opinion about this character

My unpopular opinion is that he's not a bad guy, and Namnuea isn't a damsel being abused by him. I find it a bit difficult to engage in romance stories if we're reading one person as an giver and another as a receiver. It feels a bit reductive, and the characters start to feel inhuman. What I love so much about Wedding Plan is how actively engaged all of the characters are in their stories, even down to the supporting cast. I think this show captured queer peril in a real way. I think I'd feel differently if the show didn't directly confront Lom's actions as he flirted with Namnuea and stressed him out. As it is, they are married, and I love that for them!

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I kinda wish we'd see Lom's dad. It feels pretty pointed that he's completely absent from everything that happened, and we know he's around. I'm a bit sad that we only ever saw Lom be flippant with his mom, when we saw Nuea's parents involve with the entire wedding.

For the Character Breakdown Ask Game

[justanothershippingcan]

So, aside from Tumblr, if you are chronically online on Twitter as I am, you might have seen that one post about the little gingerbread man plushie being bought and then loved by the owner after being considered ugly. If, besides being chronically online on Tumblr and Twitter, you are specifically sailing aatwt waters you must have seen that post being reblogged with "Apollo Justice" being associated with the gingerbread man plushie. Now, hear me out. That plushie post is so real for Mr. Forehead. Because, as someone who has just finished 6-2, I can testify this is what can absolutely happen with Apollo Justice. Because we aren't all Klavier Gavin and so we might not be capable of speedrunning the Apollo Justice Love Parade faster than the smol gay man in Walking Mode on GoogleMaps, the first impression about Mr. Justice is usually "oooh, he is such a bug". Horned hair ― he chooses to have those ― that seem to have a life of their own, short, big forehead, loud suit and louder voice. A stag beetle, as he kins.

Then you start AA4 and you see him balancing being on the verge of a Breakdown Breakdown with competing for the Smuggest Lawyer Boy Ever award. So, average Ace Attorney experience, but you are intrigued and you are cheering. Gogo Bugus. This is the first stage and descent towards the "Apollo Scrimblo" phase.

You proceed through the Apollo Justice game and you get to see him more. You realize how unintentionally funny he can be. How his monologues are so sassy and mean they put Godot's bitterness of his coffee to shame. "I'm a lawyer, I live for needless procedures", "Try working on cases", "I am more concerned about the other criminal. The one who kills people." "Objection! That's… that's just dumb." "Well, hello Ms. Fancy Pants! Please forgive my lack of ladder discrimination." "Believe me, any comic relief I may provide is entirely unintentional". So, you inevitably start to love the guy, he is now your pookie. He is still Just A Guy but also a pookie and a short king. Then, there come the fanarts and fancontent. Now, feeling the Eyes Literally Open with fanarts (like @/u3pxx's Swapollo) was literally the phase I was at when that post of the plushie dropped. So much so that my comment on discord and twitter was "I get Game Apollo isn't exactly hot, but some fanarts are eye openers". And finally, after such fancontent phase, you continue playing and you start to notice more things. Small tangent, but I don't like the idea of most Ace Attorney men being called twinks (like, especially in the OG trilogy, y'all... Edgeworth is built like a fridge, and not a small hotel room one. No one would be able to measure his shoulders even with those Ikea Paper Measuring Tapes they gave out before either capitalism or a good choice for the environment took those away). There are some that can qualify (Simeon is one of them), but I digress.

And so you see: Apollo is no twink, he has damn good arms actually. Good built too, somehow. Red Suit is totally working. Those thoughts get enhanced once you see both his DLC costume and the Only Real Good Thing to come out of DD Apollo (aside from Clay actually, I would have loved him if there was more care in his writing, but I digress again-), aka the bandages and edgy look he, a bug that is going on an upgrade crusade, apparently pulls off. Also, let's remember Juniper. I love the Comp-het Lesbian Juniper HC, but I have an adoration for hitting the bi beam on my favs too, so think of Juniper and the fact you can gather she manifests a crush on Apollo in DD. Klavier, instead, has been down so bad he is bleeding on the floor. So, even in universe, the beetle is considered cute. From there... it's over. Once you reach 6-2 and see him grow more and more and inflict third-degree burns to Retinz and Nahyuta with each sentence, you have come to realize it. Apollo Justice is hot. Loving Ace Attorney Men is a disgrace.

[liquidorcard]

You know, while we're on this topic, to the people who dismiss the idea that media is important in a very tangible way that deeply effects people's lives, let me tell you about the song Saint Veronika by Billy Talent.

Tw again: Discussion of suicide and suicidal ideation.

I'm fully aware Billy Talent is considered one of those 3edgy5me bands to people today. Tbh, I think a lot of people who dismiss entire musicians' bodies of work/genres are often fucking wrong and just irony poisoned when you dig a little deeper but that's besides the point-- for the sake of this point I'll just say, I don't give a fuck.

If this isn't your taste in music, if you don't connect with this because of how aggressively 2010s it is, I got no bones to pick with you. This was the shit I grew up listening to though, and I still love it even if my music tastes have expanded.

Now, to the point:

Picture this, it's 2010. You are a 13 year old deeply closeted AFAB trans kid attracted to women. You're three years any of privately coming out as a lesbian, five years away from openly identifying as one, and a full 12ish years away from transitioning. You live in a conservative hick town and you have good reason to believe if your parents found out, you would be disowned so you do everything to suppress those feelings. You have had a very traumatizing childhood, you live in a very unstable home. You're beginning to develop a chronic illness that will go untreated for 10 years, which causes you a LOT of pain. You have been an insomniac since you can remember, and have had concerningly few good night sleeps your whole life. You have had limited medical and no mental health treatment, to the point where you know asking for any is already off the table. However, have been told all your life by your formerly poor parents because of your upper-middle-class upbringing, any negative feelings you have are invalid and a sign of your laziness, and how spoiled you are. You have been told so often you must be faking your chronic pain, your fatigue, vomiting and migraines you've begun to wonder if you're just a big baby. They haven't even clued in yet that the reason why you're struggling with the switch to English from French schooling is because you're dyslexic and need glasses. In about a year's time you're going to begin developing an eating disorder. You've been bullied at school by students AND teachers since you were in grade 1. It's a good week if you've only cried once. You are ALREADY a year and a half roughly into stealing your parent's booze as quite literally the only resource you have access to to cope-- no fear that you'll be caught since they have such an absurd amount of it.

Now like, I'm not trying to throw myself a pity party here. Honestly, people expressing sympathy when I talk about what my life is like makes me uncomfortable. I understand people mostly genuinely feel bad and don't know what else to say, but like, I'm not telling people about this so they feel bad, lol. No offense, but like, it happened to me not you, and I'm spent plenty of my own time feeling bad for me-- I'm kinda over it, mostly.

No, I'm saying all this to make a point: I feel wanting to die is a pretty reasonable response for a 13 year old to have in those circumstances. Like, what else am I going to do? I had be told all my life the issues I was having were me problems, I couldn't figure out how to overcome them. If I'm the problem, like. You know, that's the obvious solution, right? Obviously as an adult I recognize that's not the case, but. I was barely a teenager.

To give context to the time period, I went to Catholic school. They had JUST stopped teachers from casually saying that people who commit suicide go to hell-- to fucking children. Stay classy, Alberta Catholic School Board. Oh, while we're here by the way, not too long ago they forced all the teachers to take any pride or LGBTQ+ related iconography down and started implementing policies like teachers being forced to out kids to their parents or risk being fired. Policies that would have put MY well-being in danger if they were implemented when I was a kid.

Here's their publically available email and phone number. No reason, just, if you're looking for a place to express your feelings on adults using their positions of authority to endanger children, or for a place to spam your dankest memes. I'm sure they'd love that:

E: http://acsta.ab.ca

T: (780) 484-6209

But, anyway, the new """progressive""" approach was to basically say just, "killing yourself is never the answer. Think of everything you have to live for." Literally, "Aha, don't kill yourself, your so sexy," before it was cool. 10/10 counciling. We had two suicides when I was in high-school, and countless other attempts.

What we have now isn't even that much better. What the fuck IS a teenager supposed to do with, "mental health is important, let's talk about it" but find out a lot of people are just as miserable as them? Which, finally, brings us back to this song . . .

"She was sick and tired of being invisible, Hard to see in color when you’re miserable,"

What is this I see!? Actual validation of negative emotions, articulated shockingly efficiently in a fucking song lyric?

"Veronika, Saint Veronika, You can't leave this world behind, So be strong enough to hold onto us, We're still right here by your side,

I know people kind of reflexively cringe when people say this or that piece of media saved their life. And, if it must be said, it's kind of fucked up that ANYONE has to get therapy from something like an emo-agacent rock band-- that's not supposed to be their fucking job. However, I can't articulate how much this meant to me when this song came out. "This IS as shit as it feels, but find the strength to hold on," managed to be just enough for me to survive until adulthood and get real mental health help. For me to tell my parents and be taken to the hospital after my first attempt at 16. Reframing it from "your life is precious" even though all perceived evidence was to the contrary for me and many other kids especially, to "find the resolve to keep going, you aren't as alone as you think."

"Always said her life was never meant to be, Stuck here living someone else's dream, Well beyond your window there is so much more, Even every prison has a open door,"

Though I'm a little jaded to some extent to the "it gets better" narrative, that was a more fresh idea at the time, and it is good to try and inspire hope in people going through suicidal ideation. It just can't be the be all, end all of the discussion.

Regardless, this verse articulates the emotional displacement of suicidal ideation really well. Especially for a kid stuck in a bad environment like I was.

"And while the angels sleep, All of the devils are awake, Waiting to steal your love, Right outside of Heaven's gate, And all the sacred hearts, Can't numb the feeling from the pain, Cause when the drugs don't work, You're gonna curse his holy name,"

To this day, nothing has captured my personal experience with suffering with suicidal ideation more than this bridge. Especially as someone raised Catholic. The metaphor of devils stealing your fundamental ability to love and be loved, to have meaningful bonds, just agapnizingly out of reach of safety and comfort. Because the systems supposedly there to protect your very "soul" aren't paying attention.

The Sacred Heart is the concept of God's divine love for humanity in the Catholic faith. The thing that is supposed to make you feel whole, complete and fulfilled. But, it's nothing. It's a sugar pill. It's symbolic of all the non-solutions presented to you to hand-wave away the problem without dealing with it. So you curse life itself, you reject the divinity of your own existence.

The music video is notably, pretty impressively tasteful too. Especially for the time. Yes it's visuals are also a little 2010s, but compared to trash fires like 13 Reasons Why that came out five or six years later. It threads the needle of using visual metaphor to communicate the pain, validate it, without glorifying suicide-- in my opinion.

Simple but effective: Doll girl unravels the more isolated she becomes, until it takes her life. It accurately depicts the act of suicide as a desperate attempt at ESCAPING from agony, not the solution. It manages to get the idea across while not showing any real life method itself. Genuinely, an extremely thoughtful exploration of the topic.

I don't know for sure if I'd be here today to write this post without this song but . . . There's 100% a chance. Real, accessible mental health care is what we really need, but in the mean time this is all some of us have. Especially minors.

Media matters.