#you were cool by the mountain goats my beloved

[moreclaypigeons]

My graduation cap!

[50r-a]

;; Genshin Impact ! ··· ꒱

⊹₊ ⋆ Ganyu x reader . . . ꜜ

+` All is silent" · · · · ✦

`` ︵︵︵︵︵︵ ⋯ ⁺ 🎐 ”

warning(s); no mentions of pronouns/gender/yn, smut, first person, eating out, kitchen sex, first time, morning sex, body worship, milking, yk goats milk?, caught

SMUT BELOW THE CUT

It was a peaceful day at my manor. All of my companions were out and about doing their own thing. All except one, Ganyu. My Cryo archer and my beloved girlfriend. We had been dating for the past few months now. She is such a sweet girl; I can't say no to her when she asks me out for a date. Although it wasn't that often that we went out together since she was so busy with her training with Xiao and at her work at the Jade Chamber.

But now we're alone at my home. All is peaceful in this dewy morning. I was leaning against the white dry-wall of my kitchen, watching Ganyu clean the filthy dishes that we ignored last night from our dinner. Ganyu was looking prettier than ever. Her hair was still messy from only awaking from her sleep twenty minutes ago. She's not wearing her usual garb, she was wearing a simple plain white tee paired with small booty shorts that shape her hips wonderfully. The sun rays reflected off the silver spoon as she cleaned.

Her wide hips are so, so beautiful. Her thick thighs and her large bottom are so pronounced on those shorts.

Ganyu dropped the spoon into the sink and turned around to face me. "Good morning," she said with a smile. She always seemed happy whenever she first wakes up. I smiled back at my dear Ganyu. "Good morning.".

I love her sweet little smiles she gives me. I examine her curvy figure more. To the north of her thick thighs are her breasts. They're like mountains resting on her chest with how large they are. I take note that her nipples are harded slightly due to the coolness of the air from outside from the open windows. I felt myself getting excited at the thought of touching them. It strikes me that we had never made love with eachother. I had never even seen her naked not once.

I walked forth, I was now standing in front my my lover. "Hey darling," I said, taking her hand. She blushed bashfully and looked down at the dishes then up towards my eyes. We locked gazes.

"What’s the matter?"she asked me, noticing my eyes was on her delectable body.

"Nothing…nothing at all," I replied, trying to hide my erotic thoughts.

She laughed at that, "Well maybe you should tell me what your thinking."

I paused for a while, unsure of how much to reveal.

"It's just that I was thinking about finally making love to you. That's all. We haven't even seen eachother in the nude so…" I trailed off.

"Oh, oh!" Ganyu's face visually went red. "W-well, I've been thinking about that aswell. It's just, I was too scared to do so.".

"Why are you scared?" I asked.

"Well…umm," she stammered. "I don't know. I guess I'm still so fearful to actually to lose my virginity. And also, I'm afraid of what you'll think after seeing me naked."

"You have nothing to worry about. I would never judge you." I assured her. "And it's okay if you feel embarrassed, I understand."

She looked at me with a soft gaze. "Thank you."

We kissed passionately, I reached over and pulled her close to me. Our lips met in a deep passionate kiss. Her tongue slid across mine and she pressed her chest against mine. I could feel her now erect nipples rubbing against my shirt. Her hands ran through my hair and massaged my scalp. She pulled away from me and smiled, "I love you."

"I love you too," I said back before getting on my knees.

Out of surprise, Ganyu gasps at my sudden collapse. "A-are you okay?" She asked.

"Shh, I'm fine. Just, will you let me to do this?" I asked her before lightly tugging at her tiny shorts.

Ganyu blushed but nodded, "Y-yes."

I pulled both her shorts and her panties down her thighs. Her icy blue pubic hairs were trimmed short and she has a cute little tuft of hair above her pussy. I could see her pinkish clit poking out from between her outer pussy lips. Her inner lips were bright pink and glistening with moisture. I could smell her arousal.

My fingers slipped into her wet slit, parting her outer lips. I rubbed her clitoris gently while I continued to slide in and out her slick vaginal canal. My fingers explored every inch of her pussy, circling her clitoris and sliding up into her tight hole. I loved the feel of her velvety smooth insides. The slight resistance as my digits pressed deep within her.

"Mm, yes! Please touch me, please!" Ganyu begged me.

I smiled at her begging. "I'll give you what you want, my dear Ganyu.". I leaned forward and licked her juicy, engorged clitoris. She moaned in delight as I sucked her nub between my lips. I slowly moved my head back and forth, stimulating her clit with my tongue. Her thighs trembled as her orgasm grew closer.

Suddenly, her legs shook violently as her orgasm overtook her. "AHHHHH! YES! YYYEEESSSS!!!" She screamed loudly as her juices flowed freely from her cunt. Her body shuddered as wave after wave of pleasure rushed through her. Her hands grasped my head tightly as she rode out her blissful climax. She then collapsed onto me, using my body as a support. I leaned her voluptuous figure on the kitchen counter before my hands crawled under her white shirt.

I cupped her heavy breasts, my thumb running up and down the stiffened nipple. I could hear her ragged breathing as she caught her breath from her orgasm.

"Ugh, s-so good~" she whispered to me.

I leaned down and kissed her. I placed my hands on the sides of her white shirt, lifting it off of her. Her large tits jiggled as they hit the cold surface. I felt her smooth stomach and the soft skin of her belly button. I then buried my face between her meaty cleavage. Her huge mounds filled my mouth and I began to suckle on her large tits. I swirled my tongue around her erect nipples, flicking them with my tongue.

"MMM! Ahhh! Mmmph! AHH! AH! Ahh! HNNNGGGGG!!!" Ganyu moaned loudly, arching her back and pressing her tits tighter against my face. And then her milk from her breasts began to squirt out. I took it all in my mouth and swallowed. Her juices tasted amazing and I couldn't get enough. I sucked on her pink bud, trying to drink more of her lovely goats milk from her.

I was so focused on sucking the milk filled breasts that I didn't even realize the kitchen door had been opened.

"Oh my!" We heard a feminine voice yell out in shock.

I immediately stop sucking on Ganyu's tits, the both of us looked to see who caught us in the act of love. And it was Mona.

All was silent, once more.

[cryptic-symbols]

for the ask game :)

waco, going to alaska and pinklon

deep cuts my beloved

(:

You didn’t use an Oxford comma so for a hot second I wondered where there was a mountain goats song entitled “Going to Alaska and Pinklon” and I was really confused. These were fun songs and this is a long post.

waco: she’s not a deep cut, not to me!!! all hail west texas is my fav goats album so she is my everything. she’s not my fav bonus track but I do love her. I have kind of a weird answer for this one.

Biding our time

Biding our time

Biding our time, as best we know how

At face value, this is a song about the rapture. Really, this is a song about how you live life when you’re lying in wait for something, anything to happen, and these lines make me feel that the most. Waiting for someone specific to come save you, someone you’ve been waiting for your whole life. Can any one person save you from Waco boredom? Set against the desolate landscape of west Texas, we feel the rote boredom more acutely. There is nothing here to do and no one to be, only waiting for something new to happen in a place where nothing really ever happens. Its a song about learning to be comfortable with patience.

The three time repetition of biding our time really makes me feel that time, the rhythm of that time. The days lived, in and out, like breathing. As best we know how. We don’t fully know know what we’re doing and how to do it but we are learning as we go and its not perfect but its our best effort. It is the gift of a best effort, the eagerness of trying your damn best and letting it be known that you are giving it your everything. It feels like the human heart of the song, the admission that you are doing everything you can and its kind of getting to you, knowing that your best effort may not be enough.

going to alaska: google tells me this is the first going to song and perhaps the first mountain goats song so !!! woah. I listened to the shitty 2008 recording and it made me feel something I haven’t felt in a really long time. The meter is this song is very consistent and feels kind of weird as someone used to goats songs that don’t have that. Its cool.

And I am going to Alaska, where you can go blind

Just by looking at the ground; where fat is eaten by itself

Just to keep the body warm

The speaker wants life to feel more difficult, to feel like a struggle that feels, presumably, worth it. Life is too easy, or maybe, life feels like it should be harder, or that he deserves better.

These specific references to the extreme aspects of the tundra remind me of this class I took about the desert, the meaning that is found in going somewhere that is inhospitable for human life but extremely supportive of other kinds of life; the rare beauty in a landscape that is harsh but full of energy under the surface. It reminded me of the way I felt while journaling on the camping trip I took in that class to the desert, looking at the stars and sitting with myself and just writing and writing and trying to capture the primal inhospitable life that the desert felt like: a kind of god that I thought deserved reverence. It is a different kind of beauty often overlooked or presumed grotesque because of the lengths that survival requires.

Our speaker sees the beauty in these things and perhaps wants to test himself, but he’s almost missing the point that his life doesn’t need to be hard to feel meaningful. He doesn’t need to go blind or make his body eat itself to create meaning or to be enough. Man. Haven’t we all been there.

pinklon: now this is a deep cut. performed once ever that we know of, only on a bootleg recording?? yes

Though all good things in time will melt away

Pinklon Thomas is getting out of prison today

This reminds me of another goats song: “life is short and life is hard and life is sweet” (when a powerful animal comes). All of these people are celebrating this guy’s freedom, and that joy, no matter how small a blip in what feels like life’s endless suffering, is a good moment worth celebrating. It will not last forever, nor should it, but we can take a moment to chronicle this joy and give it space to live and breathe and mark all the ways we can see it in the people ready to welcome him back. This is a good thing that will melt away but for now, let’s forget that. Living in the moment means taking the goods ones when they come and soaking them in.

[wolfanitas-art]

There are many pictures of Norse deities where they look as if the local biker gang had staged a Wagner opera. So all the more I wanted to give them a respectful and more accurate design. I gave my best to draw them with their basic and most known attributes, but still I did neither try nor want to make this an archeological reconstruction of how the Norse depicted their gods. It is still just an artist’s interpretation, I drew them how I imagine them.

Since these myths are very old and very much of them is lost, there are in parts so many different, often contradicting versions of who is how related to whom and did what where and why, that I will give you just a very simple Who’s Who:

Odin: first of the gods, one-eyed god of battle, death and poetry, father of Thor and Balder, husband of Frigg, has two all-seeing ravens, will be devoured by the wolf Fenrir during Ragnarok (the end of the world)

Thor: red-bearded god of thunder and the sky, son of Odin and Fjorgyn (the Earth), husband of Sif, guardian of the gods, drives a chariot drawn by goats, will be poisoned and killed by the giant Midgard Serpent Jormungand during Ragnarok

Loki: attractive, ambivalent, shape-shifting, mischief-making god, son of giants (mostly named as Farbauti and Laufey (the latter is the mother, btw)),husband of Sigyn, grows progressively more evil, causes the death of Balder, then bound till Ragnarok, when he and Heimdall will kill one another (they never got along)

Frigg: first of the goddesses, goddess of love, life, marriage, protection, sees much, tells nothing, wife of Odin, mother of Balder

Freya: goddess of love, lust, fertility, magic, battle, mistress of the Valkyries, a Vanir (the two god ‘clans’ were Aesir and Vanir), daughter of Njord, twin-sister of Freyr, has a magical falcon cloak and a chariot drawn by huge cats

Sif: golden-haired goddess of harvest, wife of Thor, her spectacular hair was cut off by Loki, so he had to ask the dwarfs for a wig for her, which was in all aspects like real hair, just better (the hammer Mjolnir was forged then, too)

Freyr: charming god of fertility, prosperity, sunshine, a Vanir, husband of the frost giantess Gerd, son of Njord, twin-brother of Freya, has a magical ship and a magical sword which he gives away and will desperately miss when he fights the fire giant Surt during Ragnarok (he loses).

Heimdall: golden-toothed god of protection, watchman of the gods, guards the Bifrost rainbow bridge, son of nine mothers, owns the horn of Gjall, he and Loki will kill each other during Ragnarok

Hel: the just goddess of the underworld and the dead, daughter of Loki and the giantess Angrboda, sister of Fenrir and Jormungand, her upper half is that of a woman, her lower half is that of a dead, blueish corpse

Tyr: brave, one-handed war god, scarified his right hand so the wolf Fenrir could be bound, either son of the giant Hymir or of Odin, during Ragnarok, he slays the hellhound Garm and is killed by him

Skadi: goddess of winter and the hunt, originally a giantess, she joined the gods when she married Njord as a form of compensation for her father Thiazi being slain by the gods, put the snake over bound Loki, whose (the snake’s) venom constantly drips on his face (Skadi is quite cool and tough)

Balder: gentle, wise, beloved god, son of Odin and Frigg, Loki tricked Balder’s blind brother Hod into killing him with a mistletoe (the only thing that could hurt him), husband of Nanna (who died from shock over his death),he and his wife will return from Hel after Ragnarok

Idun: goddess of youth, provides the gods with the golden apples that grant their immortality, married to Bragi

Bragi: god of poetry and eloquence, husband of Idun, son of Odin, greets the fallen warriors at Valhalla

Njord: god of the sea, wind and fertility, father of Freya and Freyr, a Vanir, married Skadi, but they separated cause she was a mountain woman and he a man of the sea, she chose him from among the gods for his apparently very handsome feet  Prints and other nice stuff available here:  www.redbubble.com/de/people/wo…

[dirtgrub]

tagged by the absolutely lovely @co-captens, thank you!! Rules: Fill it out and tag 5 some people.

Tagging: @phantombell @blackbeardsemophase @spaceviking @snake-snack-stede if y’all want to, and anyone else who wants to do this you can say i tagged you 

Your Name: toki, they/she

How Many Sugars: for coffee, enough to make it Not taste like coffee. for tea, it depends on the kind of tea. 

Character(s) You Relate To Most: Ed my beloved. shared trauma etc. 

OTP?- ed/izzy

NOTP?- i mean,,, there are certainly pairings i don’t go out of my way for but none that really bother me

If you were a pirate captain, what would you call your ship?- idk i would be so fucking indecisive i’d probably change the name of it every week 

What position would you have on a pirate ship (bosun, captain, powder monkey, master gunner, surgeon, etc.)- in all honesty i probably would not be on a ship because i get terrible motion sickness. i’d have to stock up on some ye olde dramamine,  but i wouldn’t mind a lucius-type gig 

Favorite OFMD Fics or Arts?- my absolute all time favorite fic is “you are broken now, but faith can heal you” by cunninglinguist on ao3 (s/o to seph for showing it to me btw) it’s a lil bit fucked up tho so mind the tags if u decide to read

Biggest Wish for Season 2?- izzy backstory now now now right now right fucking now 

Favorite Quote: i honestly cannot choose fr, like this isnt a cop out my brain is just a constant loop of ofmd quotes 24/7

Favorite Minor Character: hmm probably spanish jackie or officer hornberry 

Favorite Episode: the ones i re-watch most are 3, 4, 5, 8  

Has OFMD caused you to reevaulate your gender? i mean i guess i kinda always identified as nb in my own way, but seeing jim and seeing vico be so open abt it was really cool.  idk the gender thing is still like (static noise) to me i’m still figuring it out- 

Favorite Cast/Creator Quote or Interview: the c2e2 panel made me absolutely feral i am still reeling. going to see their panel at eccc this weekend and i am literally vibrating screaming crying i am so excited. 

Do cats have knives in their feet? absolutely 

Song that Makes You Think of Stede Bonnet: i have no idea because i... don’t think of stede all that much... :|

Song that Makes You Think of Izzy Hands: joke’s on you i have an entire, hours-long playlist dedicated to songs that remind me of izzy (or ed and izzy, more accurately ig) because i’m, a normal person. a selection: toes - glass animals (it just gives izzy, and also the title? hello) gay thoughts - the growlers  no children - the mountain goats hate yourself - tv girl want you so bad - the vaccines  also izzy listens to creep by radiohead unironically  thank you again for the tag this was fun!!!!

[give-grian-rights]

HERMITCRAFT 8 LIVEBLOGGING

fifteen hermits worth of liveblogging. i am losing my mind. LONG POST AHEAD.

JOE HILLS (First HC8 Video)

Mumbo did the speech. he forgot everything he was supposed to say <3

Pearl and Gemini were just .in a pit . having stuff thrown onto them

Every Hermit is staying on the same continent !!

FIRST DEATHS VERY QUICKLY, Iron Golems took out Tango and Etho (maybe more?)

Joe seems to be the only one looting the chests

Evil Jevin !!

Evil Xisuma appearance on Jevin’s 60 second video!

Pearl has something planned for an “archeticual wonder” for a resupply area upon death?

Stress, Xisuma and Joe are capturing villagers and starting up a resupply debut.

Bdubs is killed by Cleo and is now OUT FOR BLOOD

First death counts- Etho, Tango, Bdubs, Cleo?

Cleo was killed by Keralis

Joe has now supplied Cleo with weapons and food . She left but not before saying “Time to kill BDubs again!”

Gemini was killed by Bdubs! They both died and are now at spawn.

Pearl was killed by Cleo

Pearl is planning a respawn inn !!

Cleo was killed by Iskall

Cleo was killed by Pearl

False, Stress, and Gemini team up??? AA!!! they brought a delivery of supplies to Joe <3

i wish i knew what was happening on that end .

APPARENTLY XISUMA IS ONTO MAKING THE SECOND VILLAGER BREEDER ALREADY ??

Iskall is the first with Diamonds??

Breathe in that ash !

WAIT IS TANGOS EYES LIKE THAT RN BECAUSE HES TEAMED WITH KERALIS AND BDUBS ???

KERALIS, BDUBS, AND TANGO TRIED TO DO A SHAKEDOWN ON JOE. HE TRIED TO DROP LAVA, GOT HIMSELF ONTO TWO HEARTS BECAUSE HE PLACED IT ON HIMSELF, AND IS NOW SWIMMING OUT INTO THE SWAMP

the big eyed trio are now off to shake down Gemini

Joe fell in Lava in the Nether

Joe Death To Lava Two: Electric Boogaloo

Joe drowned trying to kill a glowsquid

WATCH JOE’S VIDEO OH MY GOD SEAN HILLS RECAP RAP??? MY BELOVED????? i am gonna be streaming this unironically later LIKE OH MY GOD THIS SLAPS. ALSO THE CREDITS AT TEH END IS HILARIOUS

Zedaph Episode Recap

Zed gave us a recap of the continent every Hermit will be living on !!

Wouldn’t recommend Zedaph as the first video for the season, he skips the intro/speech but it’s Zedaph and hes making it fun!! Lots of nice editing :)

~SCIENCE TIME !~

Zedaph.. why is your starter base made out of concrete ?

There are no sheeps whatsoever on his mountain

Hes calling his lab an icecream sandwich..yeah i see it

Zed tried to make a portal underater...f

Scar died to a creeper </3

Zedaphs base is gonna be tracking how long hes there/someones loading the chunk!

XISUMA LIVE BLOGGING

A cool cinema scene of him becoming an axolotl!! <3

NOW I CAN SEE IT, GRIAN WAS THE FIRST DEATH!! Death by Iron Golem!!

XIsuma’s baseplans need over 45 THOUSAND BLOCKS TO BE PLACED

He’s also planning on making a shulkershell farm!!

i’m not gonna lie ! talking axolotl X is horrifying ! thanks !

Day one Villager Breeder... chaos.

Xisuma Derp! looked straight at a buncha wool and said how badly he needed beds and then walked away

THE GIRLS CAME OVER AND CONVINCED HIM HE NEEDS TO MOVE THE DESIGN OVER MY FIVE BLOCKS FOR SWAMP VILLAGERS..

THE GIRLS ARE JUST LAUGHING AT HIM AND HIS VILLAGER TROUBLES

day one and Xisuma has got his axolotl!!

Very pretty starterbase!!

XB’s

..I’m not gonna lie theres not much to say!! He’s very calm :) he says hes going into it without a plan, and htat last season was the only time he had any thought of what he was gonna do.

He made a real nice starter house and thats about it!

Cleo’s

Bdubs: “She ain’t gonna hurt me!! i’m invincible, babey!”

Cleo learnt that BDubs will never hurt her even if she deserves it . I am starting to realize why she kills him

SHE DECIDED SHES GONNA BE A PROPER CHAOS GREMLIN THIS SEASON...

AISDJASID CLEO GOT PAID TO KILL BDUBS?? HDUIAIHSI SCAR WHY

“Alright I found my mission for the season! Murder.”

Cleo, Mumbo, Grian, and Scar are all holed up in a cave together!

..Scar died from a skeleton !

Cleo has now split from Grian and Mumbo! Scar is missing in action

CLEO FOUND A GOAT

SHES KILLING THE GOAT???

she got a HORSE <3 and Joe gave her a saddle! I think her name is..Widget?

She LOVES the candles for shamboo n waterbottles and bits n bobs for her armorstands!!

Got her Armorstand stickgod book <3

Geminitay POV

NEW HERMIT NEW HERMIT NEW HERMIT!!

She has a LOVELY voice!!

The pov of her in a hole . being surrrounded . is kinda hilarious

It might’ve been Etho who was first death?? I GENUIENLY CANNOT TELL BECAUSE OF EDITING

All the murder was just for heads!

Seriously her voice is. wow

WE LOVE A QUEEN WHO KNOWS HOW TO CRAFT A SHIELD WITHOUT USING THE GUIDE <3

False, Gemini, and Stress are on the great journey for MOSS !

Gem just blew their minds with the moss.

TANGO KERALIS AND BDUBS ARE BACK Keralis: “Show the diamonds show the diamonds show the diamonds!” Gem: “Keralis. This is not how you make friends.”

The boys suecessfully recieved a diamond each

Etho n Iskall are travelling together!! You dont see those two together often

Etho got a glowsquid head!!

Gem: “Etho doesn’t share, is what i’m learning..?”

Etho hooked her with a fishing rod and said she has to do what he said .

In order to get the diamonds, Tango, Keralis, and BDubs placed down a sign saying “Gem is Great!” and Gem used a glow inksack on it.

Etho: “So..What is this? Do you have an ego, or this a motivational thing, or..?” He said, while laughing

Iskall: “I think its really funny that you have set your base up in the middle of a birch forest.” Gem: “I love birch forests! Do you not like my birch forest? Iskall: “I love it, yeah.” Gem: “This is the best biome in the game, Iskall.” Iskall: “Mmmm..” Etho: “I’m pretty sure I heard Iskall talking earlier that like, of all the biomes in the game, there was one he hated more than anything. Gem: “Oh really? And what was that one?” Iskall: “..Taiga.” Gem: “Taiga.. That’s true, thats a good one, thats a good one.” Iskall: “Don’t like Taiga.” Gem: “Mhm.” Etho: “Which one do you hate more than anyone?” Iskall: “..Diorite fields. Thats a bad one.” Etho: “Yeah thats a bad one.” Gem: “Didn’t know about that one. Well make sure to avoid’em. Birch forests are really good.” Iskall: “I’m a big fan of birch forests.” Gem: “Yeah, me too, me too. I’m glad we’re on the same page :) This is so beautiful! All the white and- and the like zebra stripes! is fantastic.” Iskall: “I..Um.. Yes.”

OH SHE’S CANADIAN,, ETHO HAS A FRIEND /j

She’s still in college :O SHE’S A SCIENTIST?? SHES WORKING AT A HOSPITAL?? POG!!

She accidentally found an enchanted golden apple in a mineshaft!! she thinks its the first she ever found in survival!!

She has a cow, sheep, and a few crop farms set up!! Her starter house has INTERRIOR!

SHE CHANGED HER SKIN AND ITS SO PRETTY AND HAS OVERALL AND I LOVE IT!!

shes doing a cottage core inspired base!

WOAHH!!! SHE MADE HTE MOST GOREGOUS CUSTOM TREE I’VE EVER SEEN ??

BDUBS IS HERE and he is so so so impressed by the tree ?!

also hes carrying a clock.. :(

He’s here with a present!

HE BROUGHT BAMBOO!

she thinks its so funny that he stops conversations to sleep AOIDHFEAUI\

SCARS

WE GOT A TRANSITION SCENE!! the canonical reason for the bed in his old village always being occupied is because underneath it, was his wizard portal!

Bdubs: “It’s a new season! You’re the little guy now!”

They are all very amused by that ^

they’re rubbing the fleece of bdubs jacket .

Bdubs: “Have a nice rub :)” PLEASEAHSIOJDIUASLDHIASDA

His starter base is gonna be a wagon and he wants the end game to be a bioshock esque skyscraper!

he confused a horse for a player . flashback to iskall thinking mumbo was a mob

PEOPLE THINK MUMBO DOESNT HAVE PANTS ON.... </3

Scar, Mumbo, and Grian.. have NO braincells. at all. THey just placed a crafting table with a boat on top with a bed on top with a boat on top .

this is what BROS FOR LIFE looks like.

BOATEM POLE !

SCAR IS STUCK UNDERGROUND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT IRL AND HAS NO PICKAXE..

AND HE DIED TO A CREEPER .

it seems like Grian, Mumbo, and Scar are working together !!!! HOLY SHIT !!

THERES SO SO SO MANY FARMS???????

he died several times trying to catch a skeleton with a sword

FIRST CHEST MONSTER OF THE SEASON <3

SCAR JSUT TOLD BDUBS HE LOOKS LIKE OSCAR THE CROUCH... BDUBS CANNOT EVEN ARGUE

OH NO.... GRIAN WENT AFK IN A HOLE . WITHOUT A HELMET .

THEY PUT A  GLOWSQUID HEAD ON HIM

OH MY GOD MUMBO MADE A NOTEBLOCK SONG?? AJUDA

SCARS BUILTING IS SO SO SOOS GOREGOUS SERIOUSLY GO WATCH THE VIDEO OH MY GOD ITS HUGE

its a giant ass house boat wagon . its pulled by a llama . that killed him . so now its trapped, pulling hte agon, forever

Grian: “..Thats a very big house, for a very little hat.”

GRIANS SUPER SPECIAL EGG??

SCAR PUNCHED IT..

they really came out here . and killed the egg already.

Scar: “..I touched the thing”

TANGO POV

We see the three big eyed boys forming <3 they interrupted Tangos intro

THEY’RE BULLYING HIM ABOUT HAVING SMALL EYES AHIDUIASUHDWIS

HE TRIED TO CALL THE TRIO TEAM BUG EYE... THE OTHERS ARE VERY OFFENDED

they found an axolotl and Bdubs was TERRIFIED just screaming “WHAT IS THAT YELLOW THING?!”

BDUBS IS ATTACKING IT ???

okay nope Bdubs caught one and Tango lost it

Bdubs is naming his axolotl Idiot

AMAZING HOUSE. WHY IS TANGO SO GOOD AT BUILDING AND REDSTONE??

Impulse POV

MUMBO TRIED TO PLACE DOWN A BERRY BUSH TO HURT IMPULSE . HE FORGOT HOW BUSHES WORK..

I DIDNT EVEN NOTICE THAT IMPULSE WAS IN THE BOATEM POLE

so it looks like those four are hteo nes who grouped up together

PEARL BROKE THE CONSTITUION SHE GOT IN THE WRONG BOAT SMH

THIS IS SEASON EIGHT! FIVE BROS !

So its gonna be about five people in the same area!!

YOO!! Fantasy build for Impulse!!

G gave Impulse a spyglass, they had a fun moment of zooming in on eachothers face and complimenting eachother IHAUDIHAW

Grian and Impulse worked on an xp farm!

ASHDUIWAHISD GRIAN JUST LOGGED ON INFRONT OF HIM

a pillager stole his boat . not just any pillager . the one with a banner. </3

he has to live with Mumbo tuning a song .. </3 haha

Mumbo POV

it took fifteen seconds until Grian ran in during Mumbos intro

CONFIRMED? GRIAN WAS FIRST DEATH?

SECOND PERSON TO THINK MUMBOS PANTS ARE SKIN COLOR. GRIAN..

Grian: “Can you..Briefly explain why you’re just wearing a hawaiian shirt?” Mumbo: “Uh- what do you mean ‘just wearing a hawaiin shirt? I have shorts on as-well, dude”

FOLLOWED BY

Mumbo: “Can you explain why you’re wearing a red jumper?” Grian: “You know- you know i was born with this!”

MUMBO AND GRIAN STOLE THE BOAT LOOT FROM RENDOC

I THINK RENDOC JUST STOLE THE DIAMOND MUMBO THREW??

Grian: “Is that Scar?” Mumbo: “I can’t see past your giant waffle!”

DSFSDFJIOA they did an edit where they placed down a boat, both Mumbo and Grian got in, they made noises and then bopped up on top of the ravine they were in <3

THEY HAVE NO BRAINCELL THEY JUST PLACED DOWN A BENCH AND SAID “THIS IS THE MARK OF OUR VILLAGE!” and then placed a torch and a boat and a bed and aANOTHER BED..

..Mumbo is trying to be a pacifist this season!

Grian’s taunting him with beheaded things

And obviously part of being pacifist means he’s gonna be vegetarian in minecraft!

..he cannot use monster farms because pacifisim..

Mumbo was in the middle of reading the magical Timmy shack that Tango made (did i remember to mention that? who knows) and IN THE MIDDLE OF GETTING TO THE PART ABOUT IF YOU REMOVE STUFF FROM THE CHEST, NOTHING WILL BE ADDED IN IT AGAIN. Grian opened the chest . Mumbo SHOUTED HIAUDHUW Grian jumped man

They renamed it “Cave of Do Not Enter” HIAUEDUH

Mumbo and Scar BOTH did not know- at least Mumbo didn’t, Scar forgot,  that podzol spawns from two-by-two spruce..

him and his guitar song to be played underneath his house.. it goes with the aesthetic i suppose

MAN HE NEEDS SO MUCH HAYBALES I FORGOT THATS NEEDED FOR THE TUNE HE WANTS

Mumbo: “What.. On Earth.. Scar, it’s meant to be a starterbase, buddy! What is this? This is many things, many many things, a starterbase is NOT one of them!”

HE LITERALLY DIDNT KNOW THAT THE DRAGON EGG TELEPORTS... WHEN YOU TOUCH IT...

BDUBS

nothing special we havent seen yet!! just him screaming about axolotls.

He was working in the Mesa in his intro, skipping the “speech” from Mumbo

He released Idiot the Axolotl and lost it .

Him SCREAMING “Gemini” is HILARIOUS

While Gemini gave away those three diamonds, Keralis got so excited he won a bet with Tango and Bdubs, that he gave back . two of the diamonds . and none of htem released until well after they left

Bdubs: “That’s why i have my mwoss skin!” PLEASE I LOVE THE WAY HE SAYS IT.. make the moss hood.. REAL..

it took me a while to figure out what his base is but i LOVE IT so so much!!!

Nothing much new to add !!

Stress pov

please i love her . very good !! False seems to have joined her sheerly because Stress sounded like she knew what she was doing. she does not.

False felt peerpressured and asked Stress for permission to fight her because everyone was killing eachother .

It ended up with Stress following False. they found a village!

ISKALL only saw him one other time today!!

JEVIN APPEARS AGAIN !

XISUMA FELL INTO HTE BREEDER AND IT WAS SO FUNN IUAHHYIAUSD

Ren: “Ya look goregous, Stress!” Stress: “Thanks! Don’t murder my dog!”

She’s so proud of herself for caving!! (with False n Gem

Iskall blew up!

..Iskall fell from a high place

Stress has a LOVELY ravine base!!

False

False wants to become pirates with Stress <3

gatekeep gaslight girlboss

BIG OL MUSHROOM HOUSE !!

it looks like a mushroom church and i LOVE IT.

Nothing new we didn’t see from Gem. She does want to come up with a banner design for her base, though!

Grian

..Mumbo just thought Grian had a purpose so decided to follow him <3

ALSO HIS INTRO, AS HE JOKED ABOUT IN THE OTHERS VIDEO, WAS, IN FACT, THE BOATEM POLE

Grian is SO PROUD of the fact taht they got good loot from a treasure map. Ren and Doc are NOT IMPRESSED

Grian: “Lets go, potato boy!”

Mumbo: “I don’t have to replace everything I break! Peace Love and Plants- are these plants..?” He says, mining amethyst

pants

he who controls the egg, controls the server... Grian.. you’re doing great sir

...He decided.. his goal.. is to make his OWN..caves and cliffs update... HELLO..?

Grian was the first one to kill the enderdragon, MAN. Speedrunning career WHEN? /j

Grian: “And now [Mumbo] is flexing on my bed!”

he might not have a base. but he has an egg.

It is now 2am. i cannot do this anymore. This will be continued.. tomorrow!

[named-haines]

SPOILERS FOR PEBBLE BRAIN

aka haines liveblogs a reaction

okay so the opening to oh yeah, you gonna cry sounds like an anime opening wowee

joe does in fact yell something that very much sounds like pog champ

this one feels like it’s got a lot of lines we’re gonna be able to shout back at them once we get a tour

it’s carried over the same energy of “i can belt this in my car” that are you alright had

YOOO that note in the last 10 seconds

Perfume time

the intro sounds way cooler than the snippet wilbur played us from his voice memos before

feels cursed to hear the professionally recorded version after so long haha

WOAH the instrumental around “but i can still smell her perfume”

vocals seem a little quiet over “you say your ex boyfriend’s a policeman”. i know people said the vocals were too loud on the last ep but i think they’ve overcompensated a bit

“it’s hard for me to move on when i don’t really hate you”. I DID NOT COME HERE TO BE ATTACKED LIKE THIS. HOLY CRAP. people were losing their goddam minds over “how’s it feel to be so loved yet so alone” and they’ve only gone and bloody done it again

wait my albums on shuffle shit. i didn’t mean to skip model buses and concrete.

back to model buses

this one also has two door cinema club anime opening vibes

like, i can imagine an oc animatic being made to this instrumental

i was expecting this one to be about bojo not gonna lie

side note i was having trouble hearing the lyrics over the backing so i went to genius.com and this is the entire page for the song and that’s deeply funny to me

okay concrete now

opening drums hit me like dandy highway man

i think i just really like the openings to all of this album actually holy crap

i feel like this is the cause for concern to this album but i really like it actually

liked the ending

you’ll understand when you’re older time

right off the bat this one reminds me a lot of sex sells. not in a “they copied it” way but like it has the same vibe. like they took some of the cool stuff from that song and added in a bunch of very different stuff from what makes up the rest of sex sells

liking the vocals on this one the most so far

“you can tell he’s lying ‘cuz his lips move” im gonna have to get over the mental baggage of being exposed to meghan trainor at a young age to enjoy this properly aren’t i

okay this ones my fave so far

no thoughts head happy

“if i’m going down you’re coming with me” im gonna have to get over the mental baggage of being exposed to the mountain goats at a young age to enjoy this properly aren’t i

“fuck”

the fall time

i hate that the title makes me think of undertale but the instrumental for this ones very interesting

the “fucking scared” call and response sent me right back into my 2000s kaiser cheifs phase what the-

i’m not reading too hard into the lyrics because this is the first time i’m hearing them but this song gives me villain song vibes

i have legitimately no idea what the fuck wilbur just said but it intimidated me

ITS ALL FUTILE ITS ALL POINTLESS MY BELOVED

this is the moment i have been waiting for i fucking love this song to the point that i uploaded a shitty cover of it onto my personal yt channel let’s fucking go boys

it is so strange not hearing this with just the guitar

the produced version of this song has sent me into the uncanny valley due to the sheer amount of times i’ve listened to the YCGMA anniversary version

okay it sounds significantly cooler with a full track behind “i don’t miss you” than just an acoustic guitar i have been swayed.

i am going to blast this so hard down the a12 it’s not even funny

the annunciation being different from the live version is still throwing me but i’m very sure i will be over that soon

“ITS OKAY ANYTHING TO MAKE ME FEEL LESS NUMB” i don’t need to see no more shit here i’m done i have ascended pass the jontron gif

i’ght that’s it that’s the album now time to listen to it incessantly for the next 6 months until they hopefully put out another one. absolutely worth the like 2 months wilbur spent away from streaming to write this thing in the middle of buttfuck nowhere (my family is from kent i feel no shame in calling it that)

now to piss off the americans by posting this in GMT lmao

[originalwinnercheesecake]

My Palisman Predictions

A bunch of Students from Hexside, what animals I think they will carve for Palismans one day, and my reasons as to why.

Luz Noceda: An Otter with wings. If Luz stays on the boiling isles long enough to get a staff and Palisman (which she should) than this is what I believe she will chose. Grom, among many other great things, told us about Luz and Otters. They are an animal she feels very strong when connected to, so it would be a very good Palisman for her. But Luz will not have just a plain old Otter, No. She has spent months being influenced by the Clawthorn family (is basically Eda’s adopted daughter) , and the Clawthorns are all about aviaries as symbols. So Winged Otter, master of air and water and probably land (eat your heart out ducks).

Williow Park: A Chia Pet. I have seen a lot of people give her a garden type insect, like a butterfly or ladybug. That would be a great choice if Grom hadn’t revealed she is actually really scared of bugs. At first I was pretty set on Willow carving a chipmunk.Make herself a cute little woodland creature that likes to scamper thru the garden. But this is Willow, this is the girl that with all her plant based power makes Poison Ivy look like a toddler running around with a seed in a dixie cup of dirt. How can she NOT have a palisman that is at least half plant? I don’t know about y’all but when I think of chia pets I picture a little hedgehog with leaves growing out of its back. Maybe Willows could thorn branches and learn to use vine whip?

Au”GUS”tus Porter: A Rabbit. A little bit because rabbits are popular in Human magic shows, which are all about creating illusions. But mostly because Gus’s specialty is making clones of himself and, as we all know, rabbits are great at multiplying.

Amity Blight: A Cat. This one warrants an explanation? Okay, Amilty is literally a cat in a human body. Think abut it when you first meet her she comes off as This aloof snob who see’s herself as above it all. But keep coming around, give her time to get used to you, you may manage to befriend her. And if you do manage to befriend her she turns into this silly, affectionate, dork. She is a cat. Her brother and sister know she is a cat, That is why they call her mittens, a popular cat name. Amity’s palisman will be a cat.

Edric and Emira Blight: Giraffe. Speaking of Amity’s Brother and sister. Yeah yeah I know I say that I want the show to dive more into the twins individual characters, and I do. But the two of them are close, and have worked as a team so often that they have very similar style of magic. I can see them carving the same animal, and just having them pose a bit different from the other, maybe teaching them separate tricks. As for Why they would want Giraffes, come on Giraffes have got to be the most hardcore animals in existence. They were literally banished from the Isle because they scared all the witches by refusing to be controlled. Just imagine Ed and Em using their illusion magic to conjure up an image of a herd of Giraffes running thru the market. The fact that Alador and Odalia would no doubt have objections to the twins wanting Giraffes would just be a bonus.

Boscha: A horse. I feel like a horse strikes just the right balance of pretentiousness and athleticism for Boscha. Horses also compete, and we have seen how important competition is to Boscha

Skara: A Peacock. Skara is a bard track girl, and for her 15th birthday magicked sparkly invitations out of real butterfly's. This tells us that Skara loves things that are fancy, and dramatic. A peacock is the perfect animal for her. 

Amelia: A Squirrel. It is a nature based woodlen creature that  is kinda simple, likes plants, and likes to snack. Based on what little bit we have seen of Ameiia in the background I would say that fits her pretty well.

Cat: An Owl. Cat is in the healing track, which I am guessing means she wants to be a medic, so she must be smart. Also her glasses make me think a bit of an owl. We do not know to much about Cat yet, so I going to leave her at owl, and it may change once we get more into her character.

Bo: A Dolphine. Bo ( the freckly healing track girl) is another character we do not know that much about yet ( hey, how about if in season 2 we give the healing track a bit more love). But  a dolphine is smart and social, chich Bo seems to be. Plus I really anted to give somebody a sea creature, and why not Bo?

Selene: Wolf. Selene is that really cool girl from the oracle track that has a head like a crescent moon. I picked a wolf for her because they are considered spiritual animals and have love/loyalty to the moon.

Mattholomule: An Armadillo or a Rat. something small, that is good at constructing burrows/tunnels, and is considered a pest.

Viney: A Griffin. Viney is going to create a palisman that looks exactly like a little carving of her beloved pet and assistant Puddles. Okay? Okay.

Jarbo: A Mole. Jarbo likes plants and soil/mud, so I am giving him a mole. He will liekthat beacause moles are super cute

Barcus: A Cat. So with Barkus being a dog, some people probabaly expect him to have a dog palisman, as a pack mate maybe? IF that is what you see him with then that is great for you. But I want to give him a cat, so he and his palisman can chase each other around on adventures.

Eileen (eyeball girl): A Frog. She is in the potion track and it is hinted in the covention episode that she wants to become a chef someday. I could see a frig helping her out in the kitchen. Like it could leap up onto shelves to fetch ingredients for her, and maybe stir pots with its tongue 

The Stoner Oracle Guy: A Bat. Maybe it could help him learn to fly in those red shoes with bat wings

The purple haired abomination girl with the horns: A Ram. Their horns would match.

The gold abomination guy with the head that looks like some kind of exotic fruit:  A deer. This guy is pretty big, but comes off as a big, shy, sweetheart. I want to give him a deer palisman.

Cute little cyclops goat student in the bard track: A Strong and Sturdy mountain goat No need to think to hard on all of them

Blue Gay kid with the fins on his face: A Seahorse

His boyfriend, who has red hair and I think is in the oracle track: A regular horse. Bigger and fluffier than Boshca’s, maybe a clidesdale

Mouth headed girl in the illusion track: A Hyena.

green potion guy whom King nicknames fang: A parana. Like him it is full of sharp teeth.

Principal Bump: Monkey. Bump is an old guy and he likely already has a staff and palisman, we just haven’t seen it. Until we do see it I want to headcannon that his Palisman is a monkey, and it is doing the “See no evil pose” where it is covering its eyes; since Frewin hangs on just level with Bump’s eyes.

[themangledsans0508]

Pick-up Lines

My friend @traumatatic has given me permission to write another story based on their wonderful comics, check them out!: https://traumatatic.tumblr.com/post/170904809853/happy-valentines-2018-boiiiiii-pick-up-lines-are

Tweek waited outside Craig’s house. The sun was just rising over the mountains, bathing the land in a gentle light. He frequently looked over his shoulder out of habit. The bird’s songs comforted him slightly, helping him keep a grip on reality. He focused on the bird’s serenade, so much so that he failed to hear a door open behind him. 

He tried to identify the birds. Chickadee, Blue Jay, Robin-

“Help!” Craig’s voice snapped Tweek out of his thought train. His head whipped around in a panic, looking for the threat. All he saw was Craig standing with a smirk on his face. He took a few steps towards him before turning dramatically and falling. 

Tweek instinctively moved to catch him, one of his arms hooking around his shoulder and the other around his waist. His eyes filled with concern. He opened his mouth to talk.

“I’ve fallen for you and I can’t get up.” Craig’s eyes smiled at him, unlike Tweek’s own unamused ones. He frowned at him.

“Craig, you scared the shit out of me. I thought something was wrong” he scolded. Craig’s smile never faltered. 

“You forgive me, don’t you?” Tweek sighed.

“Yes, of course I do. Now get up before I drop you,” he half-joked. Craig straightened up, moving his arm to be around Tweek’s shoulders. 

“Fine then, let’s get going before we’re late for school.” He started walking, Tweek falling into step with him quickly.

~

Tweek didn’t exactly know why he felt safer at Craig’s house than he did his own, but it was a feeling he enjoyed. Sitting next to his partner, watching Red Racer as Craig flipped through images on his camera’s memory card. 

Click, click, click.

A steady sound. Tweek wondered just how many pictures Craig had on that card. It was a lot, and he was fairly sure after watching him tab through a fair amount that a lot of them were of him, and of those were taken while he wasn’t paying attention. 

Craig’s eyes darted from the camera to him. He smiled and leaned towards him. 

“Are you a camera?” he patted the aforementioned object that was hanging off a strap around his neck. He rested his elbow on the armrest beside him, his eyes focusing on the wall over there. 

His photo collection decorated the wall. Six pictures, his favourites he had taken. One was a close up of stripe, his eyes full of curiosity as he approached, all captured in a single frame. Another of his family, his mother and father smiling while Trica and Craig frowned. He was sure that if it hadn’t been Craig’s picture they would all be frowning just because that was their family and they all seldom smiled. 

Well, he used to rarely smile. Now he smiled often, or at least often in the time he spent with Tweek. That of course, was the time they spent together, which almost always made him happy.

The last four pictures all had something in common. Tweek was in all four, One by himself, where he was laughing and smiling. He remembered when Craig took that picture. They had been sitting in the park, babysitting Trica and Craig refused to stop cracking jokes. Tweek now figured it was not just because he was feeling silly, but because he wanted to capture Tweek’s laugh in a photo. He had to respect his determination, seeing as Tweek was normally rather camera shy.

Two more were of the pair together, both smiling, and quite frankly looking like an old married couple. In one they were looking forward and actually holding hands off-camera. In the other, their foreheads were pressed together, Tweek’s eye’s closed while Craig’s were open. 

The last one was of Tweek and Trica because Craig wanted to capture “the sweet and the sour” and Trica had only agreed because she “wanted to be able to prove that she had known her future brother-in-law when they were kids,” which had gotten her whacked upside the head by Craig.

Tweek inspected the pictures, trying to see what on Earth Craig could be talking about. He couldn’t see anything that he would have in common with a photo collection. 

“Argh- what?”

“Because every time I look at you,” he waved his hand towards the collection, “I smile.” Tweek’s cheeks flushed and he put a hand to his cheek.

“Craig, come on, you’re such a dork,” he giggled. 

“You love it.”

~

Tweek’s fingers gracefully moved on the cool smooth keys as he played out a melody. His eyes remained glued on the sheet music in front of him that he had written. He didn’t have long to practice, the talent show was only a few hours away.

Craig, who was supposed to be helping, was doing quite the opposite. He kept tapping the piano, throwing off Tweek’s rhythm. That wasn’t it either, he had draped himself over the back of the piano with his hand hanging over Tweek’s papers. He had quoted three Shakespeare lines over and over and tried to convince Tweek to “paint him like one of his French Craigs,” for whatever that meant. 

When those didn’t work, he instead opted to sit next to him and pull him into his lap, then to pepper kisses all over his face and neck. His hair tickled Tweek and he had to put all his effort into focusing on the piano and not on his beloved boyfriend.

Craig finally elected to simply lean against the piano and watch in silence.

For about five minutes.

Then he got that mischievous glint in his eyes, the one that Tweek knew meant he was in trouble. 

“I hope it’s no tremble,” he said, “but I’d like to be with you.”

Tweek’s hands flew to the sides of his head and he groaned, slamming his elbows on the keys making a loud clash of sour notes.

“Flirting can wait. The talent show is- nggh- in a few hours Craig!” Tweek scolded. Craig shrugged.

“You’re too pretty. I can’t help myself.” Tweek sighed, defeated.

“Later, loverboy. I have to make up for last time’s show.”

~

Tweek worked smoothly and efficiently, carefully cutting the carrot under his hand into even slices. His typical shaking gone for the time being, which he was thankful for under the circumstances. He was going to have to cut them even smaller later, but not yet.

Craig was right next to him, stirring the batter for their carrot cake. The coffee shop needed more desserts and Craig had refused to let Tweek make them all by himself. He wasn’t all that into baking, but he was into anything if he did it with Tweek.

Well, that’s what Clyde told Tweek. Craig simply said he didn’t feel like going home yet.

Tweek could sense Craig getting bored, mostly by the fact that he kept hitting their bodies together in between Tweek’s chops. He was very touchy, which Tweek would have never guessed before.

He wasn’t complaining though.

Craig stopped stirring and if Tweek hadn’t been paying attention to his actions he would have caught Craig staring at him. He hit his spoon to the bottom of the mix, watching the batter push out of the way. He glanced at Tweek again and saw him about halfway done a carrot, and on the upswing of the latest slice. He playfully pressed his body against him. 

“If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.” He flipped his spoon back, flinging some of the batter at the wall.

“Craig, stop,” Tweek giggled. He couldn’t even pretend to be mad. He liked when Craig showed affection, and the fact he was the only person who got to see this side of him. 

“I can’t. I have zero impulse control. And even if I did, I wouldn’t want to.”

~

“It’s right up here,” Craig pointed out, basically dragging Tweek up the mountain. Dusk was setting on their sleepy mountain town on the favourite day of February. Craig had refused to say much about the valentines day surprise, only that it would be special. Now they were climbing up a hill near Stark’s pond, Tweek wearing a backpack and Craig scrambling like a goat. 

Tweek’s bag wasn’t heavy, but hiking in a sweatshirt instead of his favorite button-up was kind of restricting, and he was sweating too. Craig was wearing his usual outfit but didn’t seem to be hot at all, maybe cold with how fast he was moving.

Craig finally stopped on a ridge, taking Tweek’s hand and helping him up. 

“Here it is.” Craig folded his hands behind his back, looking rather sheepish like he was afraid Tweek wouldn’t like the scene before him. 

There was a teal blanket spread out on the ground, with another aquamarine blanket off to the side, presumably in case it got colder than it already was. In the centre was a bundle of roses. 

Tweek took a few steps forward, reaching out and gently grabbing the red flowers.

“So, um, do you like it? I mean, I’m not good at this whole dating thing.” Craig rubbed the back of his head, shuffling his feet. Tweek shook his head.

“No, no. Craig, I love it,” Tweek murmured, kneeling down onto the soft fabric. He motioned for Craig to sit next to him, who readily complied. Tweek took his bag off his back and pulled out a bouquet of daffodils, handing them over to Craig. 

“I wanted to get you something since I knew you’d get me something. You did last year and the year before. But I knew you didn’t really want anything so I just got you flowers. If you don’t like them I can return them-”

“Tweek, they’re perfect.” Craig kissed his forehead. They sat for hours, talking about things that made them laugh. They watched the sky melt from blue to intertwining shades of red, pink, and purple and saw the flurry of stars litter the sky along with the thin smile of the crescent moon.

Craig leaned back slightly. One of his arms crossed behind Tweek’s while he brought his attention to the stars.

“Right there you can see the big dipper right next to Polaris and the little dipper connected to it.”

“Polaris?”

“The North Star,” Craig explained, “They’re part of bigger constellations that are a lot harder to see. Ursa Major and Ursa Minor, which actually translate directly from Latin as greater bear and lesser bear. They’re part of the Greek myth about Callisto and her son Arcas. We’ll probably learn about it in school soon.”

“How much do you know about space?” Tweek asked.

“More than any teacher at our school,” he boasted. Tweek rolled his eyes.

“Maybe you should teach instead.”

“Trust me, if I could this town we be a hundred times smarter.” Craig pointed up to another pair of constellations. “Right there to the right of Polaris are Cassiopeia and Cepheus, king and queen respectively. Another long Greek story, I can tell you it sometime if you’d like, just not right now. There are other big constellations I want to show you right now though.”

“I’d love to hear it sometime. Maybe another night out like this.” Craig blushed slightly.

“You’re very eager. Definitely a night sometime soon. Okay, back on track. Right there weaving between the Big Dipper and the Little Dipper is Draco, which means the dragon or literally the long serpent in Latin-”

“You know a lot of Latin.”

“Only when it has to do with space. Anyway, Draco is made up of Thuban, Rastaban, and Eltanin.” Craig noticed Tweek’s slightly confused look.

“More stars. It has like, three or four myths about it. If we turn around there should be about five more constellations.” Craig laid on his back, looking behind them. “There’s Orion, the hunter. He’s easy to tell from the three bright stars on his belt. He’s up above Sirius, and the right side of his tunic is marked by Rigel and his shoulder is Betelgeuse. He was a great hunter in Greek mythology, son a Poseidon. Then he got stung by a scorpion and fucking died.” Tweek laughed.

“Wow, that’s sad.”

“I know, right? The lesson is he got killed by a scorpion because he boasted too much but there’s debate about that.”

“Scientists and Astronomers are obsessed with Greek mythology. Even you,” Tweek teased. Craig felt his cheeks heat up.

“Well, it’s cool. And I didn’t name all the stars.” Craig tugged Tweek down next to him so that he would see the view from Craig’s angle.

“How much Greek mythology do you know?” Tweek questioned.

“A lot I guess. Here’s another. Right there connected to Sirius is Canis Major and then to the left and up from that one is Canis Minor, and they were said to have been Orion’s loyal dogs, which is why the three connect almost in a triangle. The Pleadieds are over there, they’re the seven daughters of a nymph Pleione and the Titan Atlas. The last constellation that’s easy to see this time of year is Gemini, the twins, east of Orion’s belt. Their names are Castor and Pollux, which are also the names of the stars that make up their heads. They were said to be twin brothers and one was the son of Zeus but not the other? I don’t know how that works. But during the Trojan war, Castor was killed and Pollux begged his dad to take away his immortality so he could be with his brother and instead Zeus made them constellations.”

“That’s really sweet, actually. Brothers that were best friends. You and Trica could learn a thing or two from them.” Craig clicked his tongue as Tweek giggled quietly.

“Nah, I’d rather be put in the sky with you. Fuck Trica.” Craig pushed himself up to appreciate the swirling dance of the cosmos. Tweek copied his movements, his gaze following Craig’s.

“We have to do this again sometime. It’s beautiful and peaceful,” Tweek breathed, taking in the smell of the outdoors. Craig nodded in agreement.

“If I had a star for every time you brightened my day,” Craig reached his hand up in what looked like an attempt to grab the stars “I’d be holding a galaxy.”

Tweek used one hand to grab Craig’s and his other to pull the strings on Craig’s chullo hat towards him. He cupped Craig’s cheek with one hand and gently kissed him.

“I’m already holding a galaxy.”

[skelebonecentral]

Hothouse rose chapter 1

a reverse harem with the lust boys

first we gotta meet the basic skeles

words under cut

Frisk was your cousin.

They’d run away, a week after their mom passed away. Your aunt, their other mother, was frantic and your whole family had gone out searching, as well as most of the town. You’re so glad it was your dad’s oldest sister who first caught sight of the monsters and not the sheriff or someone not quite as sensible.

Frisk came back from the mountain that loomed above your town with a whole civilization behind them.

Yeah, they tried to hook their mom up with Toriel, the strong, kind, and welcoming goat woman who was the Queen of the monsters, but Frisk was just a very romantic kid in general. They flirted as a hobby, it was hilarious and you were so glad they were back and safe to continue cracking you up with it.

They hugged everyone and apologized for scaring them, that they figured out that just because they were hurting didn’t mean it was okay to hurt other people, when they finally got the chance to exit the monsters’ camp after the police and government and all kinds of things showed up.

Still, you had to admire them for how much they grew up if that was what they wanted to say right away. Well, sign. Frisk was mute, after all.

Having them home was so nice, and their new friends were awesome.

You met Toriel first, of course, and her ex-husband, Asgore. You felt sorry for the big fluffy guy, he looked so hopeless and sad when Toriel would glare at him. And Frisk called him Dad, that was so cute, cause he just lit up. It was weird, though, feeling so pitying toward a ten foot tall goat man with huge horns and a long golden beard who had been alive for centuries longer than you.

Still, you liked both the goat people, and Monster Kid, Frisk’s new bestie who ran around with them. He was…well, he was a monster kid. Lizardish, with a tail and yellow-orange scales, but no arms to speak of. It made him top heavy, since he was humanoid, so he fell over often. Frisk seemed very fond of him, and you were glad. They hadn’t had a lot of luck making friends with other human kids at school before all of this.

But Frisk, being the eternal matchmaker they were, decided YOU needed to get in on this whole monster friend business.

Of course, you didn’t realize it until Gyftmas. It was a monster holiday from Snowdin, a small town Underground, that centered around gift giving and involved Santa for some reason? Anyway, the monster community was holding a carnival inside the local event center (it was mid-September so there weren’t any OTHER holidays to do) and your little cousin, being the ambassador, was of course invited and they brought you as their plus one.

Did you forget to mention that Frisk was the ambassador for monsters? They are. Well, at least in name. That’s their official title, is Ambassador, but they’re more like a figurehead while Toriel and Asgore handle the actual statecraft. The adults do let them cut ribbons and make speeches, but they’re just not ready for something that complicated. They are only six, after all.

But back to the carnival, Frisk brought you, and took you to a particular booth.

The booth was decorated with several action figures from an old 80’s cartoon that you used to love watching reruns of, and the sign above said, “THE GREAT PAPYRUS’ TRIVIA BOOTH!”

Frisk beamed as they dragged you, and looking in the booth, there was a very tall soldier-looking fellow who seemed to be a skeleton.

“HELLO, DEAR FRISK! I SEE YOU BROUGHT A HUMAN WITH YOU!” he called exuberantly, waving with bright red mittens. He had a black something or other on under the white chest piece of…oh that’s not actually armor. As you got closer, you’re now aware its made of fabric and the lines and emblem on the front are felt pieces sewn to it. The big round shoulder pads are attached, too.

Frisk signs eagerly, “Hi Papyrus! This is my cousin, Y/N! I wanted them to try your trivia!” Their hands are going very fast, and they’re bouncing, so they’re very excited about this.

“OH!” the skeleton stands up, showing his very obvious spine in his black whateverthatis and the odd ultra-short shorts that match his chest piece. “HELLO, HUMAN Y/N! I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS AND IT IS A PLEASURE TO MEET A RELATIVE OF MY DEAR FRIEND, FRISK!”

He holds out his hand, and you shake it, feeling the long fingerbones underneath and finding yourself grinning like an idiot. Holy heck, an actual skeleton was talking to you. Your inner child was screaming with joy in their Jack-skellington slippers. Frisk had to have known…well, how could they not, your room is covered in Halloween and skeleton themed knickknacks.

“H-hey, Papyrus, I’m super glad to meet you, too!” you didn’t mean to stammer but you’re trying not to freak out as your arm is nearly shaken from its socket. He’s so STRONG!

Frisk giggled and signed something too quick for you to parse, and Papyrus let you go, “OH, ALRIGHT! HAVE A GOOD TIME, FRISK! YOUR COUSIN AND I WILL HAVE A BATTLE OF WITS!”

They scampered away and left you with the skeleton, who pulled out a fold out chair, setting it in front of his booth and then sitting in his own behind the counter, “ALRIGHTIE THEN! HUMAN Y/N, YOUR CHALLENGE SHALL BE TO ANSWER TEN QUESTIONS ABOUT MONSTER CULTURE. THE MORE YOU GET CORRECT, THE BETTER YOUR PRIZE! BEING FRISK’S COUSIN, YOU SHOULD DO VERY WELL!”

“Don’t be so sure, Papyrus. I have some wicked test anxiety,” you joke, and he blinks his sockets at you.

“NO NEED TO BE NERVOUS!” His smile seems set in his long jawed skull, but it actually tilts up a bit more, “SOMEONE WHO LOVES OUR FRISK IS BOUND TO BE A GOOD LISTENER AND KIND SOUL, SO I HAVE FAITH IN YOU. FIRST QUESTION!” he whipped out a set of cards, “WHAT IS KING ASGORE’S FAVORITE DRINK?”

You smile, happy it’s one you know, “Golden Flower Tea. He likes tea in general but that’s his favorite.”

“CORRECT! WOWIE, AND SO CONFIDENT!” Papyrus seems just as pleased as you are, “NEXT ONE! WHAT WAS THE FIRST SECTION OF THE UNDERGROUND CALLED?”

“Ah,” you had to think a moment, then said cautiously, “I think it was the Ruins?”

“YOU’RE RIGHT.” Papyrus then set two further action figures from the same set as his decorations, “THESE WILL MARK YOUR SUCCESSES! ALRIGHT, NEXT!” He shifted his sockets in a comical manner that you had to fight your instinct to laugh at, “HOW MANY MOVIES HAS METTATON, OUR BELOVED STAR, PUT OUT AS OF TODAY?”

You blink…and you have to guess because you honestly don’t care for Mettaton’s version of movies, “28?”

Papyrus’ jaw just falls open, and he sets another figure on the counter, “I THOUGHT FOR SURE THAT WOULD STUMP YOU! I’M FLABBERGASTED. YOU MUST BE A VERY DEDICATED FAN OF METTATON, JUST LIKE MYSELF.”

You blush, “N-not really. His music and dancing are great, but the movies go over my head, I guess. I only watched one because Frisk wanted me to…”

He chuckles, “AT LEAST YOU ARE HONEST. I WATCH THEM FOR THE FUN OF SEEING EVERYONE ELSE’S REACTIONS, HONESTLY. AND THE SET DESIGNS! THEY’RE VERY WELL DONE, AFTER ALL.”

“Oh, yeah, I did notice that. I bet a lot of Broadway plays would love to get his input on that front.”

Papyrus perked up, “BROADWAY? I KNOW A STREET BY THAT NAME BUT I GET THE FEELING YOU’RE REFERRING TO A THEATER OR SOMETHING SIMILAR.”

“Kind of?” you quirk your mouth a bit, not really smiling but thinking about it, “It’s a street in New York City with lots of theaters on it that’s famous for having the best in plays and musicals in the country. It’s really a cool place, from what I hear.”

“OOH! I SHOULD LOOK UP MORE ABOUT THAT LATER. ANYWAY!” He gets out a set of note cards, “I WROTE ALL THE QUESTIONS DOWN SO I COULD HAVE LOTS OF CHOICES. YOU’RE DOING A LOT BETTER THAN SOME PEOPLE!”

You were getting excited now, wondering what he could ask.

“OKAY! WHAT WAS THE NAME OF OUR LOST PRINCE?”

You frown. That was a serious question, and you think back to Frisk’s descriptions they would give you now and then of their time under the mountain. “Asriel.” You remembered thinking his name sounded angelic.

“ANOTHER FIGURE FOR YOU!” Papyrus plops the next figure on the desk and…

“Is that the villain? I didn’t know they even made a figure for him.” You can’t help yourself, not when you’d loved his antics as a kid. “Lord Verminator, looking good.”

Papyrus gasped, “YOU LIKE ALIEN WARLORDS OF JUSTICE?! I THOUGHT HUMANITY HAD FORGOTTEN THIS CLASSIC SERIES! I HAVE EVERY FIGURE EVER MADE EXCEPT FOR THREE, AND EVERY EPISODE ON VARIOUS VHS TAPES. I WILL HAVE TO ASK FOR FRISK TO BRING YOU OVER AND HAVE A MARATHON!”

You nod eager, “I know I haven’t been able to see every episode. I only got a few episodes they put on an old cable channel but it was so good. I managed to salvage some merch from antique stores, but it’s never been enough.”

“THERE WAS MORE THAN ACTION FIGURES?!” Papyrus is awestruck, orange sparkles appearing around his skull. “OH THIS HAS TO BE FATE! MY FIRST HUMAN FRIEND HAS A GROWN-UP COUSIN WHO LOVES THE SAME SERIES AS I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS? SERENDIPITOUS!”

You finally laugh and nod, “You’re so peppy! How did Frisk manage to keep you a secret? I wish we’d met sooner now.”

His sparkles increased, and he began pumping his fists up and down eagerly, “DO YOU REALLY MEAN IT? BECAUSE IF SO, I AGREE WHOLEHEARTEDLY! LET’S GET THIS QUIZ OVER WITH SO WE CAN GUSH ABOUT OUR FAVORITE THINGS INSTEAD!”

He takes a notecard and asks, “WHAT IS THE SYMBOL OF OUR KINGDOM CALLED?”

“The one Toriel wears, right? I think…it was the Delta Rune?”

“YES!” the card was set down, a figure was placed, and another card picked up, “WHO IS THE CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD?”

“Undyne.” You sigh, “She tried to suplex me the first time I had to go to Toriel’s to pick up Frisk.”

“OH, THAT WAS YOU?” Papyrus tilts his skull, and you notice his sockets are slightly uneven. You also notice you like hearing him talk, even though he’s very loud. “SHE TOLD ME SOME HUMAN CAME AND MANAGED TO DODGE HER GRAB. SHE’S BEEN TRYING TO GET FASTER AFTER THAT.”

You want to comment, but Papyrus gets another card, “WHO CREATED THE CORE?“ he stops, frowns, then tosses the cards behind him, “THAT ONE WAS ACTUALLY A TRICK QUESTION, BECAUSE NOBODY KNOWS WHO DID IT! AND AS MUCH AS I LIKE TRIVIA, I’M MORE EXCITED ABOUT TALKING WITH YOU.”

Smiling, you take his elbow when he offers it, despite him being two feet taller than you, even in his flat bottomed red rain boots, “That’s pretty flattering. What was the prize for the quiz, though? I’m curious.”

“A DATE WITH YOURS TRULY!” Papyrus laughed, “NYEHEHEHE, BUT I HAVE A FEELING HUMANS WOULD BE RATHER INTIMIDATED BY SOMEONE AS HANDSOME AND CAPABLE AS MYSELF, SO GIVING YOU A TOUR SEEMS MUCH NICER.”

Papyrus led you around the event center, pointing at the various booths and explaining them, even sometimes introducing you to the monster manning it. You didn’t see hide nor hair of Frisk for the rest of the evening, but you didn’t really notice. Papyrus’ enthusiastic rambling and genuine glee at showing you around kept you glued to his side gladly.

When the crowds had thinned out considerably, you asked, “Papyrus, this has been the most fun I’ve had at a fair in years. I’d really like to do more cool stuff like this with you, so maybe we could exchange numbers?”

He froze, then turned, big sparkles appearing again, including inside his sockets, “WOWIE, REALLY?! OF COURSE WE CAN! I REALIZE IT IS LATE AND HUMAN BEINGS NEED PLENTY OF SLEEP TO BE HEALTHY, UNLIKE THE GREAT PAPYRUS, SO LET US HURRY!”

He shoved his phone into your hand and you gave him yours, typing in your number and naming yourself with a balloon emoji on the end to remind him of the fun fair you’d shared together. You get your phone back as you hold out his, and it says “THE GREAT PAPYRUS” with a skull emoji and a gold medal one on the end.

“Perfect! Feel free to text me whenever, but I might not answer if I’m busy or sleeping.”

He nodded, “I UNDERSTAND! I WILL PROBABLY BE TEXTING YOU QUITE OFTEN, BUT FEEL FREE TO TAKE YOUR TIME. UNDYNE SAYS I TEND TO RAMBLE WHEN I’M EXCITED. AND I’M ALWAYS EXCITED! ESPECIALLY WHEN I MAKE A NEW FRIEND.”

You nod and bid him goodbye, getting a back-cracking hug, before he rushes off into the fair and you head toward your car. Frisk had texted you earlier to say they were going home with Toriel, so you rode back alone, glad for the break so you could process your night with the personification of optimism that was Papyrus.

--

You got texts from Papyrus every day. Multiple texts in a row, about ten different times a day, and about just about any subject that was on his mind at the time.

“JUST GOT BACK FROM MY MORNING JOG! I HOPE YOU’VE HAD A GOOD MORNING SO FAR!” at 5:30 am.

“IF YOU NEED ANYTHING AT THE STORE TODAY, I WORK AT SMILE MART! MY SHIFT IS FROM SIX TO TWO, SO FEEL FREE TO SWING BY FOR A VISIT.”

“I LOOKED UP BROADWAY FINALLY! THERE’S SO MUCH TO LEARN! IT’S BEAUTIFUL!”

“UNDYNE IS STILL DOING SPEED TRAINING TO TRY AND OUTMATCH YOU. I CAN’T WAIT FOR YOU TWO TO OFFICIALLY MEET ON BETTER TERMS!”

That was the general gist of his messages, just little windows into his day and topics that related back to earlier conversations.

You would answer him between classes, since you were a freshman in the local college, and once you were off around noon, you’d head to Smile Mart and see Papyrus in action.

The first time you actually were able to see him at work, he was meticulously arranging the dairy section, making every gallon of milk have the handle facing the same direction in his white button up, black pants, and bright pink apron.

Hearing you approach, he snapped upward and his face lit up, “HUMAN Y/N! HELLO!” Standing to hi full height and brushing himself down, he posed like a soldier at parade rest, “HOW DO YOU LIKE MY DAPPER WORK ATTIRE?”

You smirk a bit, just in an effort not to laugh out loud at that pose and speech combined, but answer honestly, “You make it look good.”

“THANK YOU! I’M AWARE!” he grinned, then got back to his task, “THANK YOU FOR COMING IN. WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR TODAY?”

That sounded suspiciously like a work script rather than just Papyrus being himself, but you shrug it off, “I don’t need anything in particular at the dorm, so I’m just gonna grab one of those yogurt and fruit smoothie drinks over there when I head out. best breakfast treat.”

He looks at the items you’re pointing at, then nods in approval, “FRUIT AND YOGURT ARE GOOD CHOICES FOR A MORNING BEVERAGE. AND DORMS? ARE YOU PERHAPS A MEMBER OF THE CLERGY?”

You do laugh at that, “No! No, I’m a first semester freshman at the university. You have to spend your first semester on campus if you live more than a certain distance away and unfortunately, my house isn’t in the right range.”

“OH. THAT’S QUITE INTERESTING!” He rubs his chin, “I WAS ACTUALLY CONSIDERING GOING TO THE COLLEGE MYSELF, BUT SANS ISN’T EXACTLY A FAN OF IT.”

“Is that the brother you told me about at the fair? The one who sleeps?” Papyrus had mentioned he had a brother who was lazy and slept a lot, but not the name.

“YES. HE NAPS ALL NIGHT AND FREQUENTLY DURING THE DAY ALSO!”

You grin as he waggles his brows. He had noticed how you didn’t like his wording when he’d said the same line about “napping all night” at the fair, and now he teases you with it. “Still called sleeping, Pap.”

He chuckles good naturedly and shrugs, “WHATEVER IT’S CALLED, THAT’S WHAT SANS DOES. SLEEP, EAT, AND EMIT SLIME.”

“He emits slime?”

“SOMETIMES. FRISK SAYS THAT IS ACTUALLY CALLED DROOL UP HERE. NOW I’M WONDERING IF MY BROTHER IS RELATED TO DOGS BECAUSE THEY’RE THE ONLY ONES I’VE SEEN WHO DROOL QUITE AS MUCH AS HE DOES WHILE SNORING.”

The visits become routine after that first one. When you get a break during his shift, you just go to the store and buy some kind of single serving drink. Yeah, you wish they were in cardboard cartons or glass instead, but all your bottles do go into your recycling bucket at your dorm. It’s more an excuse to talk to Papyrus, anyway.

He asks more about the university, and when you ask him what he’d major in if he did attend, he has a very good answer already, “SPORTS MEDICINE! I’M A VERY GOOD HEALER NATURALLY, AND I LOVE ATHLETICS OF ALL SORTS, SO WHY NOT COMBINE MY TWO PROCLIVITIES INTO ONE CAREER PATH? UNDYNE DOESN’T NEED ME ANYONE ELSE IN THE GUARD NOW THAT WE’RE UP HERE, AND I WANT TO BE HELPFUL.” He scratched his chin a bit before adding to the end, “WELL, MORE HELPFUL THAN I AM CURRENTLY ANYWAY.”

That’s a great idea, you think, and you encourage him to go for it. After all, he’s got so much energy, you’re sure any course of study will be a breeze.

It’s kind of surprising when, a few weeks later, he texts you excitedly, “I GOT MY ACCEPTANCE LETTER! NEXT SEMESTER WE’RE GOING TO BE CLASSMATES! ONCE IT’S TIME, LET’S CHOOSE OUR SCHEDULES TOGETHER!”

Wow, he really does go for what he wants, doesn’t he?

--

Great was definitely the least you could say about Papyrus by the time you two were meeting up on the first day of the semester.

He had already invited you over to his house several times, Frisk had dragged you along on lots of outings with the skeleton, and you had braved a meeting with Undyne and her adorable wife, Alphys, as part of a celebration for Papyrus’ acceptance into college.

So when his unique figure came striding up the sidewalks on campus, you immediately ran to meet him and got scooped into a twirling hug with your mutual giggles echoing off the old gothic revival buildings around the ovular clearing.

“Papyrus!”

“Y/N!”

As you were set down, you beamed up at him, “I’m so glad I didn’t start my gen ed until now. We have all semester together.”

“I KNOW! SURE, I HAVE TO TAKE THAT ONE NUTRITION CLASS WHILE YOU’VE GOT CHEMISTRY, BUT OTHER THAN THAT!” He’s bouncing on his heels and utterly pleased, and noticing his bouncing is what draws your eyes to the shorter figure next to him.

Another skeleton, about your height and blinking at you with white lights in his large, round sockets, stood next to Papyrus and waved lazily at you, “heya.”

“Oh my gosh, you must be Sans!” you were excited to finally meet Papy’s brother. “I dunno how it took this long for us to end up in the same place but I’m so glad to meet you!” You offer your hand and it gets taken with a long “pffffffffffffffffft” sound.

“SANS! I TOLD YOU NOT TO BRING THAT TODAY!” Papyrus sounds equal parts furious and embarrassed, as the bright orange glowing on his cheekbones betrays.

“had to, bro. can’t skip the classic gags,” Sans takes his hand back, revealing a small red whoopie cushion in it.

You stare, surprised, “Oh my gosh? I didn’t know anybody even used oldies like that anymore. Or did actual harmless pranks like that. Consider me impressed; you’ve got better taste in humor than most of MeTube.”

That seems to shock the smaller skeleton before you, making him lower his hand slowly. He was wearing a blue hoodie jacket over a white shirt with small stains on the chest, and black basketball shorts with white socks and pink house shoes. “uh. thanks.”

“DON’T ENCOURAGE HIM,” Papyrus huffed, “HE’LL START PUNNING AND THEN WE’LL BE HERE ALL DAY.” He pulled you forward, away from Sans, and waved at his brother, “HAVE A GOOD DAY DOING WHATEVER ODD JOBS YOU HAVE TODAY, BROTHER! I WILL BE ENJOYING MY TIME LEARNING WITH MY BEST FRIEND!”

“I thought Undyne was your best friend?” you say as he speeds away from a perplexed looking Sans, who you wave to with a helpless expression.

“SHE’S MY BEST FRIEND, TOO. YOU CAN HAVE AS MANY BEST FRIENDS AS YOU LIKE!”

--

Classes go smoothly, but you begin to notice….

Well, you see Sans pretty much everywhere.

Leaving your one class you don’t have with Papyrus, you see him snoozing on a bench outside.

While leaving your part time job sorting all the incoming books for the library on campus, there he is again, at one of the computers looking up jokes.

Even while you’re out getting a haircut, you find him running a little hotdog cart. Finally, you have to ask him what he’s doing.

“Heya, Sans,” you go up to the stand, which is currently empty. “Been seeing you around a lot.”

“why didn’t ya say hi, then, kiddo? my brother sings your praises daily, wouldn’t have minded saying hello.” He’s just got a green apron on over his outfit from before, and you smile.

“I don’t wanna intrude. Just thought I’d ask what was up, y’know? Normally it’s just students at the library. How’d you even get in the computer without a student id?” That had been bothering you for a bit.

“oh, easy. I’m faculty.”

Your brain shorted for a moment, “You…are?”

“yep,” he chuckled, waving you to a seat next to his cart. “turns out a monster phd converts pretty well to a human one. Just consulting with the physics department right now, but once the political climate settles some more, who knows?”

Something bubbles up to the front of your mind, “Oh. Oh! Papyrus said you liked physics once. I guess it’s more of a passion for you than he let on.”

“heh, used to be. might be again. dunno yet.” He looks across the street, away from you. “anyhow, frisk and pap both seem to think you’re the bees’ knees.”

You tilt your head a bit, but then see the little buzzing insects around a flowerbox on the other side of the street. “Oh! hahah, good spot. Yeah, I’m pretty lucky two really cool people decided I’m interesting enough to look after.”

Sans hummed as you both watched the bees, “yeah, they’re both kinda neat folks. My bro’s the coolest though. biased, I know, but it’s true.”

“I can’t argue there,” you feel happy thinking about Papyrus, “He’s taken to school like a fish to water. I really love finally having a friend who’s so positive. Not that my roommate’s not cool, but she’s as tired as I am usually.”

“you got a roomie?” he hums, “then why spend time with my bro? surely you’ve got more in common with her?”

“Hah!” you actually laughed. “I’m a linguistics major, Sans. She’s a botanist. Her side of the room is covered in so many plants I have to take sinus medication 24/7. Nah, she’s a good person but we have nothing in common other than living space and shared love for cheesy family-friendly rom-coms.”

You had gotten so involved with watching a particular bee rolling around a tulip that you didn’t notice when Sans faced you again. “so if she decided to get into a fight, you wouldn’t back her up?”

“Oh, no, I’d pull her out and tell her off for fighting. But she’s always in the greenhouses or labs, so I doubt she’d find anybody to fight with even if she wanted to. More likely to squeak like a dog toy and hide, if we’re being totally honest,” you turn to Sans smiling, but his expression makes you freeze.

His lights were out and the haunting blankness of his huge sockets made you shudder.

“kid, you better be telling the truth. My brother’s the best, but people take advantage of his kindness. If you hurt him, you’re gonna have a bad time.”

Nope, you were not going to stand for that. Getting up, you bolted, and as soon as you made it back to your dorm, you texted Papyrus.

You: Papyrus, we need to talk about your brother.

Papy: WHAT HAS SANS DONE NOW? YOU TWO HAVE BARELY EVEN MET!

You: We talked today and he threatened me.

It takes more than two seconds for an answer. Clearly you’d managed to rattle Papyrus (heh).

Papy: TELL ME EVERYTHING.

You explain yourself, how you kept seeing Sans around when Papyrus wasn’t there, and the incident after your haircut today.

Papyrus doesn’t answer in text, and after a moment or two you get a call from him.

“Papyrus-“

“I AM MORE SORRY THAN WORDS CAN SAY FOR WHAT MY BROTHER DID TODAY.” His voice was hard and serious, something you’d never heard before. “I DON’T BLAME YOU IF YOU’D RATHER NOT TALK ANYMORE AFTER THIS, BUT I ASSURE YOU I WILL HAVE A SERIOUS DISCUSSION WITH HIM ABOUT WHAT HE DID. APPARENTLY, FROM WHAT I GATHER, HE DID THE SAME THING TO FRISK.”

He’d threatened a child?! Not just any child either, your COUSIN! Who saved his people from captivity! You were about to ask about that when Papyrus continued. “FRISK SAYS IT WAS JUSTIFIED, BUT I’M NOT SURE HOW. BUT YOU? YOU HAVE NEVER HARMED ME, NOR ANYONE ELSE, AND HAVE DONE NOTHING TO DESERVE IT. SO, NOW THAT I’VE SAID MY PIECE, WHAT DO YOU THINK?”

You have to turn your brain back on to think for a moment. Papyrus was very dear to you, he was sweet and lifted your spirits no matter what. Still, with a scary protective brother, you weren’t sure if you wanted to be near him anymore.

“Papyrus, I like you. You’re my best friend. But I can’t feel safe around Sans and I’m kind of scared to come to your house ever again. We still have classes together, but I think if we’re going to be friends still, we can only meet out in public or at my place.” Even saying that makes you nervous. Nobody’s ever done this before, threatening you just out of nowhere.

“THAT’S REASONABLE. I CAN HEAR HOW SCARED YOU ARE, Y/N, AND I’M….WELL, INCREDIBLY ASHAMED TO HAVE BEEN PART OF WHY YOU’RE FEELING THAT WAY. THIS WILL NOT GO UNSEEN TO, I SWEAR IT!”

Tears were starting to leak out of your eyes at this point, your adrenaline leaving you tired and scared, but you smile, “I have faith in you, Papyrus. Just…I’m just scared now. I’m gonna try to calm down and I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”

“YES, THAT IS A GOOD PLAN. TRY TO BE KIND TO YOURSELF UNTIL I CAN BE KIND TO YOU INSTEAD…” There was silence, and then a very soft, worried, “I love you.”

That was enough to get you sobbing, “I love you, too. Be safe.” You had to hang up now, and you curled up under your covers to hide from the world.

--

As soon as he hung up the phone, Papyrus quickly wiped his sockets. He, too, was crying at the thought of his dear friend, who he loved fiercely, being terrified and menaced by HIS BROTHER of all people. But he was going to fix this.

Yes, he’d been far too late to fix what happened with Frisk, and Frisk themselves didn’t seem too upset by it, but YOU certainly were. He could feel it in the way you’d spoken, how very close he’d been to losing his best friend. He still might lose them.

But he’s going to make the effort to try not to.

Taking several deep breaths, Papyrus left his room and went down the stairs. Sans was on the couch as he’d expected, flipping channels on their TV.

“hey bro, what’s up?” Sans had his normal expression, and it made Papyrus furious.

“BROTHER. I KNOW WHAT YOU DID.”

Sitting up, Sans looks confused, “what do you mean?”

Papyrus took another breath, feeling his ribs fill to capacity with the cooling air that helped calm him, “SANS, I JUST GOT SEVERAL VERY FRIGHTENED TEXTS FROM Y/N, AND THEY WERE ABOUT YOU.”

Ah, there, the permanent smile on Sans’ face drooped significantly, “oh.”

“YES, OH.” Rubbing his sockets, as they had started burning like he was going to cry again, Papyrus asked, “DID YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT WHAT THIS WOULD DO TO ME BEFORE YOU THREATENED THEM? DO YOU EVER CONSIDER HOW THIS COULD HAVE MADE THEM SO FRIGHTENED THAT THEY NEVER SPOKE TO ME AGAIN? OR IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED? DO YOU WANT ME TO BE ALONE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, SANS?”

“n-no, no that’s…I don’t want you lonely, paps, I just want you to be safe.” Sans’ voice and eyelights were both small and shaky. Good, he realized how serious this was.

“I KNOW YOU DID THIS TO FRISK, TOO, AND I’M JUST…SANS, YOU CAN’T THREATEN PEOPLE WHO HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG!” He wanted to move, to do something dramatic, but Papyrus just couldn’t with the weight of his frustration and disappointment. “I LOVE THEM BOTH, AND YOU…YOU DON’T SEEM TO CARE WHAT YOU BREAK ON YOUR WAY TO WHAT YOU CONSIDER MY SAFETY. I’M AN ADULT, SANS, NO STRIPES ANYWHERE, AND I’D LIKE YOU TO TREAT ME LIKE ONE. I KNOW I’M OPTIMISTIC, I KNOW I’M SILLY, BUT THAT’S HOW I LIKE TO BE. I LIKE BEING A GOOD INFLUENCE FOR PEOPLE, AND IF THAT MEANS SOMETIMES I GET MY HEART BROKEN, THEN I LEARN, DON’T I?”

Sans was just staring at him, but he finally found his voice, “but paps, they aren’t like other folks. They’re humans, they have a lot more power and-“

“I KNOW THAT.”

Closing his mouth that had opened to argue, Sans listened. “SANS, DO YOU THINK I WASN’T SCARED WHEN FRISK CAME? I WAS TERRIFIED! I KNEW THEY COULD DUST US BOTH WITH A MOVE, BUT I HAD TO AT LEAST MAKE THE EFFORT TO SHOW THEM THAT WASN’T WHAT HAD TO HAPPEN. I WANTED TO CAPTURE THEM, YES, BECAUSE THAT WOULD HAVE MADE UNDYNE AND EVERYONE ELSE SO PLEASED WITH ME, GIVEN ME MORE OPPORTUNITES TO MAKE THE FRIENDS I WANTED. BUT…THEY LIKED ME.” Papyrus was at a loss. “THEY PLAYED ALONG WITH MY ACT AND SEEMED HAPPY WITH IT. SO I CHANGED MY MIND. I DIDN’T FORGET WHAT THEY COULD DO, WHICH IS WHY I TRIED TO GET UNDYNE TO BE FRIENDS WITH THEM, TOO. I DIDN’T WANT HER TO GET HURT EITHER, OR FOR HER TO HURT FRISK.”

Oh the tears were back and Papyrus scrubbed them away angrily, “BUT NOW I’M WONDERING IF I SUCCEEDED IN SPITE OF YOU! I’M WONDERING IF YOU DIDN’T THREATEN EVERY PERSON I’VE EVER TRIED TO BEFRIEND JUST OUT OF SOME TWISTED SENSE OF PROTECTION!”

Sans just looked at his hands, bones looking ashen as Papyrus tried to hold back his sobs. Had…had he been hurting Papyrus more than helping him all this time? Yeah, Frisk had posed a threat but the kid had made good. Really good, if he had to be honest. And he had seen nothing to really make Y/n any more dangerous than they were. And now Papyrus was crying.

“SANS, I DON’T BLAME YOU FOR BEING AFRAID OF WHAT HUMANS CAN DO TO US, BUT I AM DISAPPOINTED THAT YOU DON’T TRUST ME ENOUGH TO MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS ABOUT FRIENDS. IT HURTS, AND…AND EVEN THOUGH I’M SURE YOU DID IT OUT OF LOVE FOR ME I JUST CAN’T FORGIVE YOU FOR THAT RIGHT NOW,” sniffling a little, Papyrus couldn’t even look at his brother. “I’M GOING TO STAY WITH UNDYNE FOR A FEW DAYS. I HOPE YOU CAN LEARN HOW TO…WELL, NOT DO THIS AGAIN. THINK ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES MORE. SOMETHING.”

Escaping back up the stairs, Papyrus quickly packed three days’ worth of clothes and essentials, then ran out the door. He just couldn’t believe his older brother had betrayed his trust like this.

--

It was pretty awkward with you and Papyrus after that.

You tried to talk like normal, but he was sad, and you were scared.

Two months after the incident, you got sick of it. “Papy, let’s go to Bungle Land.”

“OH?” he perked a little, “WE HAVEN’T BEEN FOR A LONG TIME. OKAY.”

Grinning, you took his hand and ran to your car, giving him the option to drive if he wanted. He had his license, but just hadn’t gotten around to buying the perfect car for him. But he refused, wanting to save driving for his own dream car, so you let him move the passenger seat back as far as he liked while you drove to the local theme park.

And you had fun. Papyrus was an adrenaline junkie and took you on every ride, while you were a game shark, trying your hand at the carnival games and loving the useless and low quality plushies you won from them. You both had a lovely collection of little birds, though Papyrus had exchanged five of his for a larger plush of a super hero, more to his tastes, from this trip alone. Thank stars for your yearly pass, and the lovely guest vouchers that came with it.

Finally, as the sun was going down and you were hungry, Papyrus guided you toward one of the stands before a familiar voice made your heart freeze, “hey you two. Pretzels and lemonade?”

Papyrus’ expression soured, “SANS, DO YOU REALLY THINK THIS IS THE TIME FOR ONE OF YOUR ODD JOBS? WE WERE HAVING FUN.” He’d gotten an apology from Sans a while back now, and a Promise not to repeat his blunder, but he still wasn’t sure of Sans’ intentions for Y/n.

“I really didn’t think you’d be here today, pap, swear on my bones,” Sans looked exhausted and held up his hands. “but tell me what you want and I’ll make it while I do something I’ve been meaning to.”

You just say you want a pepperoni pretzel and a cherry lemonade, and Papyrus goes for a normal pretzel with a blue raspberry lemonade, but you’re nervous. The skeleton had threatened you, after all, even if your fear of him had mostly shifted to annoyance at his cheek in doing so.

Getting your food, Sans said softly, “I know I’m nobody’s favorite person right now, so I’ll make it short. I realized I’ve been overbearing, stepped over a lot of lines, and need to work on myself. I’m really sorry, y/n, for acting like you were going to hurt papyrus when I don’t even know you. it was wrong, and I’m going to try and see a therapist to get a hold on my…paranoia.”

That…was honestly one of the best and most sincere apologies you’d ever had. You can’t help smiling, and you can almost feel the pride radiating off Papyrus for his brother. “Okay, Sans. That was a proper apology, and you haven’t done any stalking that I’ve noticed so…apology accepted. I hope your therapy goes well.”

He looks so relieved, shoulders sagging noticeably, but his smile turns more genuine and he nods, “okie dokie. Go have fun, and I’ll see you at home, paps.”

“YES YOU WILL! YOU’RE GETTING THE IMPROVED VERSION OF SPAGHETTI TONIGHT FOR THAT!” It’s heartwarming to hear the excitement in his voice, and the brighter smile on his face, “YOU DID A GOOD THING! BYE, SANS!”

“Bye, Sans,” you add, and he waves you both off. Even if he was the one who finally apologized, you felt a weight off of yourself as well, and his gaze no longer made you feel like demons were on your back.

[wanderingwolfwitcher]

"The last thing you need right now is to be on your own." Triss uttered, relaxing upon a rock and observing the horizon. Gradually things were changing. The pandemonium, havoc created by the Hunt was left behind. Flowers were blooming once again, mimesis times of tranquillity. "Where's your beloved goat, I can't see it." [Since the anon button isn't on I'm sending things like this xD have some fun!!]

“Perhaps so. Everyone’s going their separate ways, now, with this thing over. I’m staying right here. School’s fallen into my hands. Never thought it would... but here I am. Was also never one to turn away good company. Where next for Kaer Morhen’s resident Sorceress? Off to Kovir to take your rightful place in a glamorous court? Politics and intrigue were always your world, as avoiding them is mine. “

The Witcher’s deep voice returned to the Sorceress steadily, amber, feline eyes settling upon the beautiful redhead sitting atop the rock. Watching the way the sunlight washed over her form... and the unrivaled view of the Blue Mountains around them. Then again, rivaled by her alone, perhaps. Tranquility had returned to the lands he now owned... as it always did, punctuated by warfare now and again. The Wild Hunt had been the last blow to the School, he was certain, the sacrifice of Vesemir. 

They were doomed to inevitable extinction... it was just the way of things... but while even one of them still lived, held the keep, it wasn’t over yet for their order. Eskel remained standing where he was, off to the side, before his marred face followed her gaze out over the lush green land, the cool wind rustling the grass and flowers. Folding his arms comfortably over his red coat and armor, breathing in the fresh air. Speaking again comfortably with a slight wry smile.

“Off grazing, as usual, she’ll be back to the keep in no time. Planning on staying a bit before you head away to fame and fortune? You can as long as you wish, Triss. Anytime. I’m sure Lil’ Bleater and Scorpion would appreciate it greatly as well.”

@domina-noctisim

[romulus]

twentyone questions!!!

i was tagged by @sfjn! thank you so so much 💖💖💖

nickname: rom or rach! please don’t call me rach! i appreciate the sentiment but i hate how it sounds

zodiac: sagittarius uh, sun i think? don’t know the rest of them! 

height: 5'5.5″ and loving it 

amount of sleep: i go to bed at like 12-1 and wake up at 7-8:30 so i’d say my amount of sleep is. inconsistent. @ my mystery illness why 

last movie i saw: in theatres it was captain marvel but i literally was just watching kong skull island so. go brie larson i guess! 

last thing i googled: i was googling those tentacle hoodies where the top half is tentacles and the bottom is a solid colour to tell my brother & sister-in-law that i wanted one and they said that they didn’t like it because imagine a white guy wearing it and i couldn’t articulate to them that because i’m a lesbian it would be cool :( 

favorite musician: sufjan stevens

song stuck in my head: either no shade in the shadow of the cross by sufjan stevens (obviously) or first love/ late spring by mitski!

other blogs: oh i uh got an anime sideblog @todorokifuyumistansonly and then my mostly inactive art blog @sufjart-stevens and then also @bogmummymonday for all your bog mummy monday needs

do i get asks: nope not at all

blogs following: 241 but i just unfollowed like, a bunch because they were inactive :/ 

lucky numbers: 3, 18, 1203, and when a number is an even multiple of three it’s not lucky per se, but it’s like, nice. 

what i’m wearing: my pyjamas, which are thermal layer leggings and an oversized t-shirt from mumford & sons 2013 north american tour WHICH has the calgary skyline on it which is very sexy of them i think

dream trip: i’d love to go back to victoria and explore more around there & vancouver, especially like hikes and stuff. i’d love to go explore the burgess shale or go to ireland or scotland!! i want to look at sheep 

dream job: like my fantasy job is living in a cottage growing plants and participating in animal husbandry through raising goats, sheep, and chickens, and making my own cheese and food from mostly scratch. my realistic dream job is the one i’m hopefully on the path to. 

favorite food: tacos babey 

languages: english and like, barely any french at all

play any instruments: i can play acoustic guitar, banjo, bass guitar, piano, and most (basic) percussion instruments with the most base amount of competency. i played flute in junior high but who knows if i can anymore  

favorite songs: john my beloved & romulus by sufjan, gospel by the national, carolina in my mind by james taylor, america by simon & garfunkel are all absolute favourites of all time. recently i like broom people by the mountain goats and armchairs by andrew bird and last words of a shooting star by mitski. actually any of mitski’s album closers really  

random fact: i dyed my hair red! not really dyed, just semi permanent stuff from shoppers, but i dyed it! 

describe yourself as an aesthetic thing: when you go down to a body of water in the winter and it’s a moving body like a river or a creek so the ice hasn’t formed all the way over the surface, and there are snowbanks piled up at the edge and the water runs clear and unbroken between them. and you step out onto the thin transparent shelf of ice on the edge and like glass it shatters under your weight and your foot goes plunging into the water, but it’s only 6 or so inches deep so you’re only wet up to your ankle. you pull your foot out and you’re soaked down to your socks and dripping in freezing water.  

i’m going to tag the leaf time squad so @untouchedsoap @personalmephistopheles @limiculous @susuwatarisprinkles @messofthejess and also @neckwearr ! chomp on this fellas! 

[libidomechanica]

Untitled Composition # 5162

So when I began the air, and the soft and disappeared of clear as the Sunnebeame so brighter than mine. Which it bore, so thou, unskill’d in art, must, surer bound, go thy walks, and saved me from tombs, and so rare a wit than waste in sight of disgrace, an chiefly the cool radiance fell? The old Man ceased from the ground, in sunshine afar, and of mine on its thorny stem; devoted to o’erleap Be an she has virgin modesty she shall my thoughts. the things which each man loved and became a Tyrant fled; in the lilies a few, and me those who

play thy part of pleasant music: Do I wake, my dove, it shapes them if not I, for queens to social pageantries, which, snatched you speak to injure. Make me more hopes to eat; so Philomede, lect’ring all are wast, and thou with orient deep the mournful surges that hapless love, till the clamour of liars belied in your mother beloved, that word from

the boatman’s door, above the springtime, the garden, today, I follow with

glaunce into it and love begins. Of teares supply, till their torturing hope, I wished smile a hard-set smile, said Margaret looketh forth his flock, and the bitterly. And you to know my love, when she lay sick of goats that bosom bears, on whose Palace The Soul was stricken to thee: I vow and an Asia, and quarters were was

the month endows the differently to him is not if a thousand saw her distant,

in public manner, and this fair gift in me worthy perfumèd garments shewed that secret we met— in sprightly, who has the ether now, and mountains waved, that waited there is better; and letting swallow, the moor; but they out-did them wild freaks of merry note unto the chamber deafe of nothing person seeming shakes: her lost my wallet I remember

that loue; heau’n, I trow, the sun decline and give me, as the shame. Of love. Nothing perfume hour of thy countenance, and it felt enormous in the Farmer’s Eye; but each passionate heart waketh: it is white and regret when fraught with strings on a gold-haired lady’s eyeballs pure I look upon the happy mother delicately weak. Seals of thy thighs are like the spikes of pure and walked with all his middle age, he reeleth from West to East, over glowing echoes oft tired, wandering fears to give thyself thou complaine for my sorrow have yet many shrewd disasters met to gain her eyes that place sound asleepe | and pitie louers pitie: looke from your true descended be to paste of nastiness. And there we weep; on the departed. Away from me. From the lamp is shatter his journeys he sets up his busy in the distance of the soft-dying day; but comely with you. And here and so my patent back lacquered there parent’s heart from pain. A worse essays prove these blenches gave me grapes.

[your-dietician]

Summer dreams dry up on the Russian River, a paradise whipsawed by drought, flood and fire

New Post has been published on https://tattlepress.com/latest/summer-dreams-dry-up-on-the-russian-river-a-paradise-whipsawed-by-drought-flood-and-fire/

Summer dreams dry up on the Russian River, a paradise whipsawed by drought, flood and fire

The Russian River, just north of drought-stricken Lake Mendocino in Ukiah, Calif. (Brian van der Brug / Los Angeles Times)

If there was any respite to be found, it was here on the Russian River.

A river otter popped up next to Larry Laba’s inflatable canoe, then dived down with a plop. A yellow swallowtail butterfly, big as a hand, fluttered past.

Yet everywhere were signs of the West’s ever-intensifying drought, with the Russian River taking the early hit.

Laba, the owner of Russian River Adventures, who had paddled this river hundreds of times over 20 years, made note of unfamiliar things that made him uneasy.

Larry Laba, owner of Russian River Adventures, paddles down the Russian River in Healdsburg, Calif. (Brian van der Brug / Los Angeles Times)

The river was at a historic low. A hot wind blew through the canyon, when summer breezes here are usually gentle and cool. The leaves of the cottonwood trees made a brittle, crackling sound. The same trees, way up high, had cracked branches from a devastating flood in 2019.

Just below the water’s surface, Laba noted colonies of an algae he’d never seen. Then there was his worry over algae he couldn’t yet see. In 2015, during a terrible drought, his dog Indy — whom he described as a dumb, happy-go-lucky retriever no one could resist — died of a seizure on the river. The next week, a 2-year old golden retriever died on one of the trips run by Laba’s company. This time officials pinpointed the cause as a fast-acting neurotoxin from blue-green algae. The algae occurs naturally, but when temperatures rise and water is warm and stagnant, it blooms and releases poisons.

The Russian River area holds a panoply of California treasures: majestic redwoods, ocean mists, summer sun, famed wineries, breweries and a casual, come-as-you-are culture that mixes high-brow with hippie and a bit of barn party.

Receding water levels forced a closure of the north boat ramp at Lake Mendocino in Ukiah, Calif. (Brian van der Brug / Los Angeles Times)

It also sits at the center of climate-related disasters. After the drought, which ended in 2017, came fires that burned across eight Northern California counties, killing 23 people. In late February 2019, at the tail end of the wet season, rain pelted down without halt. Some of the area’s mountains saw 400% more than the average amount of rain for the month. The river flooded, cresting at 45-feet, the highest in more than two decades. The river valley towns of Guerneville and Monte Rio became islands, with automobile parts and pieces of buildings floating past. Restaurants that sat on cliffs 30 feet above the river were under water.

Story continues

In August 2020, walls of fire surrounded those same towns as more than 12,000 residents evacuated through smoke and ash. Vineyards burned and beloved cabins turned to tinder. Up and down the West Coast, fires raged, sparked by a combination of extreme heat and a lightning siege. For weeks, this valley — which usually has air so fresh that you can taste the ocean — registered some of the worst air quality in the world.

Laba said he avoids thinking about what all of it — drought, fires, floods, lightning sieges, heat waves — means.

Merganser ducks on the Russian River in Healdsburg, Calif. (Brian van der Brug / Los Angeles Times)

“Look, I can’t go there,” said the 69-year old. “I’m not a worrier. I can’t lay awake at night thinking about climate change. I look around and if there is something I can do —even if I know it won’t make that much of a difference — I do it.”

He spotted tall stalks of scarlet wisteria on the banks, flashing their bright flowers. He beached the canoe.

“They’re huge water-suckers. They’re invasive,” he said, trying to pull up a plant that showed no signs of budging. But Laba pulled and strained until it came up by the roots and couldn’t produce pods to scatter seeds.

Michele Wimborough, left, owner of Hazel restaurant in Occidental, Calif., chats with guests Rahna Schiff, right, and Keith Holamon. (Brian van der Brug / Los Angeles Times)

That evening, farther down river, in the small community of Occidental, off Bohemian Highway, Michele Wimborough stepped outside of a cozy restaurant that was as much a dream as a business.

She and her chef-husband Jim, former Bay Area residents, had searched for years for just the right small town where they wanted to live and raise their son. They opened Hazel, named after Jim’s grandmother, in 2015.

This night was one of their first with in-house dining since before the COVID-19 pandemic, and the restaurant was packed. Earlier, Wimborough had wondered if she’d miss when it was just her family inside, alone, making to-go meals. But she had found herself laughing and happy to be in a crowd.

Now, after the dinner rush, she stood outside, tipped up her face and breathed in a cool mist that was slowly enveloping the town.

Part of the reason was that it gets hot running around a restaurant, but the other was that such moisture was becoming rare.

A canoe floats past an exposed gravel bar, right, on the Russian River in Healdsburg, Calif. (Brian van der Brug / Los Angeles Times)

She had been caught off guard by notices pleading with residents to cut water use by 20% to 40% and the news of an emergency water regulation that cut river water rights for up to 2,300 wineries and farms. The restrictions were aimed at keeping the Lake Mendocino reservoir from going dry before summer’s end. Similar cuts are expected soon in California’s other watersheds.

While she was preoccupied with COVID-19, the drought had sneaked up on her.

“I feel like so much has happened that I can’t keep track of it all,” she said.

Just in her tight circle of friends, five families had moved away, people who had planned to stay forever, driven out by fear of disaster.

Wimborough said that by nature she is anxious. But that had changed over the last five years. Now, she steadfastly clings to a stubborn optimism.

Joseph Lustenberger, 15, jumps off a railroad bridge footing into the Russian River in Healdsburg, Calif. (Brian van der Brug / Los Angeles Times)

“I definitely believe in climate change. But I concentrate on ‘We’re going to keep going and it’s going to be OK’ — until it’s not,” she said.

“I love it here and this is a beautiful moment and I’m grateful we were safe for one more day.”

The Russian River begins in the mountains north of Ukiah in Mendocino County and cuts a winding path to the Pacific Ocean. The Pomo Indians once trapped salmon in its pools, before water was diverted. The river gets its modern name from Russian Ivan Kuskov of the Russian-American Company, who explored it in the early 19th century and founded Ft. Ross. It was the Russians who first planted grapes in the wine region.

Outside of Sebastopol, not far from the sea but worlds away from bustle, or even cell service, Eric Susswell, owner of Radio-Coteau, makes wines that he said are meant to capture place and a particular moment in time.

Land once underwater is exposed by receding water levels on Lake Sonoma in Geyserville, Calif. (Brian van der Brug / Los Angeles Times)

His water comes from domestic wells, not river allocations or a municipality, but the drought gripping this land of red barns, grapevines, goats and sunflowers will still be in this year’s vintage — if they can get the grapes to harvest. Last year Radio Cocteau barely got the crop in before smoke damage. Many other wineries lost their grapes.

Radio-Coteau’s vineyard is one of the few Demeter-certified estates in the U.S., meaning it meets a set standard for a bio-diverse organic farm. That includes methods such as mulching, no-till farming and monitoring moisture to improve soil — something akin to the farming version of holistic healthcare.

Sussman, who studied organic viticulture at Cornell and trained in France, said he considers his farm a living organism in its entirety, plants that become resilient with a good root system.

The water level has been steadily receding at Lake Sonoma in Geyserville, Calif. (Brian van der Brug / Los Angeles Times)

“There is an intelligence in their ability to adapt,” he said. “It gives me some sense of hope.”

Some vines on his property date to 1945. Sussman said they sustain his faith that seasons will pass and the vineyards will continue.

“I’m not blasé about climate change,” he said. “But I’m not watching all of this from high above. I’m down on the ground right in the thick of it, day by day making decisions about sustainability.”

Nine miles south of Healdsburg, another group of pleasure seekers had paddled down the river.

Beachgoers enjoy the cool water at Monte Rio Beach on the Russian River in Monte Rio, Calif. (Brian van der Brug / Los Angeles Times)

Mathew Knobel, 19, who works for Laba, was waiting to greet them at the end of their trip with hoots and hollers.

He tried to be supportive when they were visibly stunned by how low the river was, how there were spots where they had to get out of their boats and walk.

“People get really emotional when they see it for themselves,” Knobel said. “It’s almost shock and awe.”

It’s not a reaction he shares.

“To be very honest, in my lifetime, I haven’t been able to experience anything different,” he said. “I’m 19. By the time I was old enough to have a consciousness about climate change, it was here.

“It’s not that I’m not concerned,” he added.

“But to me, drought, fires and floods are what’s normal.”

This story originally appeared in Los Angeles Times.

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[doomedandstoned]

After 21 Years, Beloved UK Rockers SHALLOW Are Back!

~Doomed & Stoned Debuts~

By Billy Goate

English stoner rockers SHALLOW have returned after a long hiatus -- last heard from when we were all partying like it was 1999.

Their first full-length record was released on Rise Above Records. '12 Sunsets in 24 Hours' (2000) has long been considered a classic collector's item. Listening to it now is like digging up a time capsule, dating well before the mad exposition in stoner and psychedelic rock that erupted over the last decade, which some have dubbed the New Wave of Traditional Metal and Rock.

Shallow's chief stylistic distinctive is heaviness, but with a chill sort of vibe. Formed around '96, the team-up of Tony Inskip (guitar, vox), Danny Unnet (guitar, vox), Phil Brough (bass), and Rod Vyse (drums) was hard to categorize with a little of this, a little of that, some of the other. Thankfully, there were nice catch-all labels like "indie" and "alternative" that were well vogue by mid-decade.

Though they had more in common with the emerging Palm Desert scene than anything else, alternative rock they were to many a critic and DJ. I'm not even sure if this music was commonly called "stoner" at the time, except among stoners of course. Nowadays, we have plenty of next gen bands that strive to achieve this sort of sound, some with success, others with struggle. Shallow always seemed to pull it off without a sweat. They always had a certain cool about them, bleeding right into the music they played.

At the time, Shallow released a split with Jane Doe somewhere around '97, then got attention from Kerrang and Metal Hammer with an EP, 'Live At Heimi Hendersons' (1998 - Undergroove Recordings). Terrorizer Magazine summed up 16 Sunsets in 24 Hours succinctly enough: "Think classic Sabbath and early Nirvana, then think Hawkwind."

And then somewhere around the millenium, all four members of the band started another act called The Last Drop, releasing to my knowledge just one LP, 'Where Were You Living A Year From Now' (2002 - Rise Above Records). It showcased a "tougher" sound, with some reviewers even speculating that that The Last Drop is what Nirvana might have sounded like "today," had it not ended in such a sudden and tragic manner. Much of this had to do with Tony's similar vocal pitch and attack to the late Seattle crooner

In those bright early days, Shallow shared stages with a cavalcade of stoner-doom royalty -- from Cathedral, Orange Goblin, and Electric Wizard to Goatsnake, Nebula, and Spirit Caravan -- even the great post-Kyuss project Unida, appropriately enough. Since then, the band hailing from Stoke-on-Trent has surfaced on many a compilation and playlist, but we didn't see hide nor hair of the boys otherwise.

Now, seemingly out of nowhere, the band has reawakened from hibernation -- and what a strange landscape greeted them! Imagine a world without Facebook and Instagram, iTunes or Bandcamp. That at least explains the lack of a social media trail. It's staggering to consider how, even in their absence, Shallow's music has now borne the fruits of its influence many times over, with a stoner-psychedelic scene that has mushroomed in size in England and elsewhere.

Nevertheless, this is no Encino Man thawing from the Stone Age to meet the Rock Age. Shallow define stoner rock in so many ways, and it's good to see them in good hands with Future Noise Recordings, who is shepherding the legendary act's return record. ‘From the Ground Down’ (2021) it's called, and it will initially see the light of day on digital format across various platforms this Friday, April 2nd.

The album begins quietly, with gentle picking and moments of post-metal reflection, while song after song takes its own distinct shape in terms of melody, tempo, lyrical character, and rhythmic complexity. Three of Shallow's four original members (Tony, Phil, and Rod) are still intact, with guitarist Ike Reed jumping in on "Into The Ether" and "Bring To Mind." Several weeks back, we got our first listen with the single "Into The Ether," which naturally got a lot of us -- both longtime fans and curious onlookers -- quite excited and pining for more.

From The Ground Down by Shallow

This isn't the over-eager, barnstorming, take-no-prisoners kind of heavy music out to grab the impatient skip-prone on Spotify. Certainly, it has its moments of sturm und drang, but Shallow's From The Ground Down also has a kind of desert calm about it (not unlike the records of Fu Manchu) that invites us to share in wide-open spaces where the band can let each track start, develop, flow, and really “air out” its ideas. They would have been a perfect addition to the Live In The Mojave Desert Vol. 1-5 series that just concluded, featuring performances from Nebula (who Shallow's opened for in the past), Earthless, Mountain Tamer, Spirit Mother, and the latest Brant Bjork/Nick Oliveri vehicle, STÖNER.

Doomed & Stoned is thrilled to welcome Shallow back, bringing you From The Ground Down in full ahead of it's weekend release on Future Noise Recordings (though you can pre-order it here). Breathe it in deeply, friends. This is unlike any other record you're likely to hear this year, for it emanates from the soul of a true original.

The album is not simply psychedelic, nor are these 10 tracks easy grunge fare. You just gotta settle down and let each one do its own thing, appreciating the record on those terms. Best to take it with you on a long walk, maybe, or solidary drive across lonely spaces. Or an easy ridin' trip through inner space. Shallow kept me company over the past 21 years of life and I’ve a good hunch they'll stick with me for another 21 years still. Who knows, maybe even longer. Life, after all, is full of surprises.

Give ear...

From The Ground Down by Shallow

Follow The Band

Get Their Music

[level3bird]

seven on sunday - 112

The Month of Sundays edition - 

1.  Long time coming - I haven’t written a SoS since February. That’s the longest stretch without writing since I began the much-ado-about-nothing enterprise. I already know this is going to be a long one, but, you know, that’s how it is. Read it or not. I’m cool with it. 

2.  Exit Houston - My plane took off from IAH at 10.15pm on Friday, the 25th of August. The rain of Harvey had just begun. I was in my own weird little space of wanting to get the hell out of Houston and back home to my husband and, simultaneously, feeling all the guilt of escaping last minute only to leave my daughters and grandchildren behind to face whatever Harvey was going to bring. Man, I had no idea. Fortunately, so very fortunately, my girls remained safe and largely dry, save Jordan’s bedroom ceiling sagging under the weight of the rain and rivulets of water cascading down her bedroom walls. (Hopefully they’ll get her back in her bedroom in the next couple of weeks. Until then her living room will serve as two rooms in one.) Both of my daughters and their partners and children were stuck in their homes due to all the water around them, but they emerged the lucky ones. They still have homes and belongings and their lives. Their partners still have jobs. Their children have not been traumatised. At the end of the day, I feel incredibly grateful and incredibly sad and every other emotion still. 

3.  The week before the rain - So, I’d gone to Houston in the first place to meet my new grandson Logan and to kiss Harper’s face off and to see my daughters and meet their partners. It was an ambitious undertaking spending only a week in the Bayou City, splitting my days between Baytown and League City, with the obligatory hour trip each way at least once a day, often twice. I was trying to be fair to both of the girls, spending time with new baby, spending time with the Goldfish, having time with Jordan and Whitster. I ran myself into the ground a bit and just as the jet lag was passing, it was time to get back here. I wouldn’t trade it though. Seeing them even for a week was worth the exhaustion. Hanging out with Harper and going with her to her first day of kindergarten, going with Whitney to her high risk OB and seeing my to be born grandson on high-def ultrasound, holding little Logan and singing all the songs to him that I sang to his mother. Priceless. 

4.  Emotional whiplash - Nevertheless, visits back to Texas are like navigating a minefield. There are too many memories and so much baggage on a personal level and then there is the guilt of being away from family and the weighty realisations that my grandchildren are going to grow up without me around. It is such a mix of giddy excitement in seeing them, a heart so full of love and a sadness that has no bottom. It is emotional whiplash and I’m not very good with it. That paradox of holding two opposing emotions at the same time. It wears me the fuck out.

One moment I am sat holding my precious new grandson and imagining such a wonderful life for him, the next I’m driving down the road where Quinn lived, the place where he visited unspeakable horrible things on me, then I’m passing by the apartment where Colin and I lived, the places where I bought my drugs of choice, then I’m passing my home group of CA and I’m having all the old craving feels at the same time. Before being able to get my head around them, I’m pulling into my eldest daughter’s driveway and am being greeted by the most beautiful granddaughter with the sweetest soul. Didn’t know whether I was coming or going. It is no wonder I tried to spend my way out of it or tried to eat enough tortilla chips and salsa, corn dogs, Blizzards, margaritas, fried shrimp and whatever else I could get my hands on to make it all go numb. 

5. Dead but not dead, maybe  - During the week, I also was able to spend about an hour and a half sat across a table in the food court of a near abandoned mall chatting with my youngest brother who hasn’t spoken to me in a decade. Talk about surreal. After a falling out where I didn’t even really know what I’d done wrong, he’d considered me basically dead to him.  And he’d been committed to it as anyone could be to anything. Regardless, every time I’ve been back since 2010, I’ve reached out to him. I love him and I miss him. I wish I could make things right. This is the first time he’s agreed to see me face to face. He’s still not interested in what he calls a ‘brother and sister friendship’, but he did take the time to tell me what his thinking was. I believe he’s still caught up in seeing me as I was ten years ago and that plugs him into how he was ten years ago as well. I think he still sees the worst of himself in me. Both of us addicts, both of us the product of a most fucked family. Before we parted ways though, he hugged me and gave me a kiss on my cheek and told me he loved me. He said he still doesn’t like me, but that he sees I am not the same person that I was in 2007. I’m still in the “don’t call me, I’ll call you” camp, but I think maybe there was a modicum of progress. I’ll take it. 

6. Stay here until I feel whole - Maybe it was the jet lag, maybe it was the leaving my kids again, maybe it was the exhaustion of going back to work the day after I got back, I don’t know what happened, but I’ve fallen in a bigly way. In that proverbial down on my knees kind of way. I’m at a loss to understand it myself. There have been tears, a flatlined emptiness, a sudden onset depression that has laid me low. I mean, I know it is bad when I’m attending AA meetings and listening to Ryan Adams’ Stop. My beloved husband, of course, has been my lifesaver. He’s still my lighthouse and my refuge and he still has the patience of a saint to tolerate me. He loves me in such a pure honest way that sometimes I can’t even deal with it. I know I don’t deserve it. As for my response to this bottomless funk, I’m going to rely on Saint Darnielle and “stay here until I feel whole again. I don’t know when.” I’m going to listen to The Mountain Goats and Ryan Adams and to Sarah McLaughlin singing The Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi, Robbie Williams’ She’s the One (for super special reasons) and maybe even Hillsong’s Broken Vessels. I’m going to keep hitting meetings and keep seeking equilibrium. I’m going to wait until I feel whole again. 

7. The things she carried - I took little to Houston, I came back with three checked bags filled chockers, Here is what I brought back from the US: Hostess Sno Balls (the blue ones), a box of Hostess Ding Dongs, six boxes of Lipton’s Extra Noodle Chicken Noodle Soup mix, Cheez-its, graham crackers, PayDay candy bars, two boxes of Tapioca, my favourite deodorant, a new purse, Excedrin, Melatonin, Ibuprofen, shampoo and conditioner, multiple cans of Static Guard, Rotel tomatoes and green chilis, vigil candles (Our Lady of Guadalupe x2, St Michael, and a Sacred Heart of Jesus. I’m neither Catholic or Christian, but they make me feel better.) I brought back a witch candle that smells of smoke and amber, a shit ton of chapstick in flavours not found in nature. I brought back several books, a few notebooks, a list of things I want to pick up next time. 

I brought back some guilt and some hope, a lot of love and memories and some regret and a heavy heart full of sadness and longing. I brought back an eagerness to be home with my husband, a wanting to be home where I belong. I carried home a much lighter bank account and a heavier debt load, but I was able to leave behind a little girl with a closet full of new school clothes and a daughter with things for her new baby that she’d never be able to afford herself. I left behind cash enough to see them through the storm that we didn’t realise would be as bad as it was. I left bits of myself, I brought bits home. 

I carried home the weight of the world and a collection of all my attendant shortcomings. 

Needless to say, my baggage was heavy. Is heavy. 

LQoT