#you watch one of their videos and have no IDEA WHO IS GOING TO BE DOING WHAT

[clini-calia]

It's tough. It is.

I'm a 30-year-old transgender man. From ages 16 to 23-ish, I was stuck in the alt-right pipeline, as well. I watched all that stupid bullshit with "feminists getting owned!!!1!" and what the fuck ever else. I think what pushed me towards it was how people on Tumblr used to be upset over EVERYTHING and would belittle me for my masculinity. I remember seeing a post that had a gif of a scene from some anime, I dunno which one, and it was of a naked girl laying down. People were complaining about her breasts not being realistic - it wasn't the size, it was that they weren't sagging or drooping, and that men need to be portrayed with rock hard dicks that never soften or whatever. But I was just sitting there thinking, "She's laying down... lol. Gravity is literally pushing her breasts against her chest, not pulling them down."

Anyway. Posts like that, but they got worse. I've had a lot of people on the left question my gender. "Why would you want to be a man? Women are the better choice." "I don't know why you'd want to do that, why give up your femininity?" I got into a small argument with a woman once on it, basically saying that it felt like trans men weren't really counted much and were largely ignored in the trans community, along with non binary people, who are usually just treated as "Women Lite." She got so angry that she told me, "You probably just wanna be a guy because you're too ugly to get one for yourself."

That's what tipped me over to the right for a bit. Until I realized they cared even less about me and that if given the chance, well. What happened on November 5th would happen, and they'd look for any excuse to strip me of my rights.

For cis, straight, white men it's not so easy to get out of. They're welcomed with open arms, there's no looming threat of having their rights taken away. So the pull of some "brotherhood" is more enticing. I was groomed and sexually assaulted by a man, but I was also sexually assaulted and groomed by a woman. I'll always believe that, no matter what, humans are just humans. White, black, gay, straight, trans, cis, man, woman - humans. And humans can be good, and they can also fucking suck. So I'll never say "all men are trash" or "all women are garbage" or anything like it ever again.

I see men's issues with mental health. I wish they would understand that it's the patriarchy that ultimately fuels those issues, and I wish some women would see how they also contribute to it. I see a lot of younger women these days placing men's entire values on their income, their careers, their appearances, what they can buy for them... I've seen a tweet of dudes just chilling and playing video games, showing off Pokemon cards or some shit and a woman quote retweeted it and said, "Men used to fight in wars. 🙄" Yeah. That'll stop toxic masculinity - tell men they're not real men unless they go to war and give up what makes them happy. Nice...

The patriarchy hurts women by enforcing the idea that they are to submit to men's wishes, stay at home, clean, cook, have babies. That's all women are allowed to experience.

The patriarchy hurts men by enforcing the idea that they are to overwork themselves, abandon any non traditional masculine interests and basic human emotions in favor of that work, and go to fight and possibly die in wars.

These ideals were put into place as soon as different tribes, races, countries and so on realized that, "Oh. There's OTHER types of people, and I want to be the most powerful and rich so they don't take what I have. Hmm. Better make sure women can only spit out plenty of babies and that plenty of those babies are men to be my soldiers and workforce."

If you're a man that supports any of those ideas, fuck you. If you're a woman that supports any of those ideas, fuck you, too. I'm sick and tired of generalizing people. I'm sick and tired of having to give up pieces of ourselves in order to put more money in billionaire's pockets. I'm sick and tired of men being told they're "too feminine" to be a man over being into stuff like sewing, baking, dolls, fashion, cozy games and I'm tired of seeing women being told they're "too masculine" to be a woman for being into coding, mechanical work, FPS games, science and I'm tired of seeing non binary people being told they're too much of one or the other to be non binary.

I'm tired of seeing men put down other men for having a fucking emotion other than anger or goddamn numbness. I'm tired of seeing women put down other women for being more attractive or not attractive enough. Just... stupid, petty bullshit that should have been over and done with decades ago, why the fuck are we STILL here?

It's tough. Because I love men and care deeply about men. But I also don't think we need to baby them and pat them on the back and say, "It's OK that you joined a fascist group of people that openly and proudly call themselves Nazis." And if a man ever tells me or any woman or AFAB person that it's "your body, my choice," I will grab the nearest blunt object I can get my hands on and beat the snot, shit, and blood out of them.

But I do think we need to work harder at not alienating our CIS, straight, white, male allies. We need to stop generalizing everybody and correct our language when talking about people. And we especially need to make it clear that the alt-right only seeks to divide for their own benefit, not for anyone else's. It's money and power that they want. Men, unless you are wealthy, you are just a vote and a pawn to them, nothing else. We need Democrats in the USA to stop rolling over and blowing kisses to Republicans in the hopes that they'll play nice and cut us some slack. It's not going to happen, not in meaningful numbers. And we NEED to crack down harder on alt-right online spaces. I don't give a fuck no more, get rid of that shit, I don't care if it's seen as too extreme or censorship, if you give these dangerous people a place to commune and feel safe with their harmful ideologies, then it WILL spill over into other spaces. And parents of young children: you need to BE BETTER at monitoring what your kids are seeing and doing online. Take it from someone who no-lifes online games: they are going into these spaces and saying heinous, horrible shit. They are being groomed, they are saying slurs and sexually harassing women, they are even seeking sexual attention and guidance from adults and strangers, and some of those adults are sick enough to take them up on their offers. One little trip into a few public instances of games like VRChat will be all the proof you need. I love the Internet, I really do, but I also see how its anonymity has done harm to us and has severely damaged how young people interact with each other, online and offline.

Anyway, sorry that was so long. I've been pissed the fuck off since I saw that Trump "won" the election and this shit has been on my mind for years, just even more so now.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

[supernovafics]

boyfriend!steve who loves recording everything

wc: 899

a/n: been thinking about this a lot a lot and finally got around to writing it

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

“and here we have my beautiful girlfriend who put this whole party together.”

you looked into the video camera for a brief second, drunkenly smiling into it before looking up at steve. “you’re having way too much fun with this thing already, birthday boy.”

“what? it’s actually a very cool gift.” you could tell steve was a little drunk too, but you didn’t think that would’ve changed how into the gift he was; the camera the kids pooled their money together to get for him. “say hi.”

“hi,” you said, smiling and looking right into the lens again, and then you playfully stuck your tongue out at it. 

“i love you,” steve said with a soft happy laugh. “so much.”

“i love you too. so, so much,” you told him and he leaned down to kiss you. 

“thank you again for doing this whole thing,” he mumbled against your lips. “best surprise ever.”

you couldn’t help but smile. “no need to thank me. you deserve it, best boyfriend ever.”

the camera was filming the wooden floor at this point, but it probably still picked up what you two were saying. 

you pulled away from steve after a second, knowing that the longer you two were wrapped up in one another, the more your friends would playfully make fun of the two of you.

“you should go film robin and nancy doing karaoke. i think that them drunkenly singing bohemian rhapsody needs to be documented.” 

steve nodded. “great idea.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

after that first night, it should’ve been obvious, but that camera became steve’s favorite thing. it almost made the new pair of nikes you’d gotten him look like the most boring gift ever, but you didn’t really mind it.  

it was always the most random moments that he wanted to record of you two. “for memories” was always his response when you asked why he wanted to record you two brushing your teeth in the morning or you two lying on the couch and watching a bad movie that he brought home from family video. 

or even in this moment when you two were cooking in the kitchen of your shared apartment.

you immediately gave him a look when you noticed him turn on the camera. “steve, you’re making it seem like we’re cooking something super elaborate. it’s just a grilled cheese.” 

“it’s still like a fun cooking show,” he said, smiling as he set the camera up on the counter, placing it on top of a stack of random containers. “what do you need, chef?”

there was no way of telling if either of you were actually in the frame— you had a feeling that at least your heads were cut off— but still, you decided to play along. he was acting too cute and adorable not to. 

“bread and cheese, chef,” you told him as you went to grab a pan from the cabinet below you. “oh, and butter too.”

“got it,” steve nodded and went over to the pantry and then the fridge, and then made a show of showing the camera all of the ingredients he grabbed. 

you couldn’t help but laugh a little as you watched him. you decided to play along further and follow suit as you did most of the actual cooking; making a point of showing the camera exactly what you were doing and even exaggeratingly explaining it too. 

and when you two were eating at your small kitchen table ten minutes later, you admitted to steve with a smile that he was right, and filming everything did make it feel like a “fun cooking show.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

and then there were the moments when you were the one to grab the camera and initiate the recording. it was seldom, but when you did do it, steve always got the happiest grin on his face. 

like, in this moment, when you were coming out of the bathroom and grabbing steve’s t-shirt that had been haphazardly tossed to the floor thirty minutes earlier and slipping it over your body. for no particular reason, other than you found yourself wanting to, you grabbed the camera off of steve’s nightstand and then slid into his lap, straddling him.

he was already smiling as you turned on the camera and the familiar red light came on when you pressed record. 

“say hi,” you told him, your own smile on your face as you pointed the camera at him. his messy hair from what you two had previously been doing was probably the cutest thing you’d ever seen and you made sure the camera saw it. 

he smiled wider. “hi.”

one of his hands found your bare thigh and you let out a contented hum in response. 

“y'know, i’m surprised you haven’t asked to film us yet,” you said softly. "us doing what we just did…”

his eyes widened a bit at your shy suggestion and you smiled wider, zooming in on his expression. “is that an option?”

you stopped recording him then and reached over to set the camera back down on the nightstand. 

“maybe,” you answered, shrugging innocently. “i think it could be kinda hot.”

steve shook his head. “not just kinda. very hot.”

you leaned down to kiss him then. it was slow and languid and steve’s hands immediately went to your waist, pulling you impossibly closer to him.  

“very hot,” you hummed in agreement. 

[mamaclownhunter]

I read a few but I am kinda soft for the idea of System!SY but like a player in a Video game.

Specifically I am thinking of the game Off! Where the player is their own entity the character it kinda aware of.

So SY dies and wakes up when Binghe lands in the abyss. He is given the objective to help Binghe out of the Abyss and steer him towards the best ending!!!

SY is excited because he!!! Gets to help Binghe!!

Binghe is pissed his seal came off and now he is being ordered around by some green spirit. His powers are still sealed and slowly being released by said kinda annoying ghost.

The worst part other then the Ghost being overly excited to be in Hell and seemed to be too elated about one of the worst fucking moments of his life-

The Ghost is actually fucking helpful. ‘Shen Yuan’ (what a fucking joke to give him a ‘Shen’ as a guide) knows more about monsters and their weaknesses, has an idea on what is edible what isn’t, he knows what plants to avoid, what areas are safe- and he also seems to genuinely want to keep him safe.

SY has a the video game advantage of either knowing when attacks are coming or knowing how heavy an attack will be. He also knows what Binghe can do at anytime/is controlling the attacks to some extent- either pokemon style or like the game OFF! Where is auto attacks or manual where Binghe can’t attack unless SY! Chooses.

For the first little bit Binghe resists or does the opposite where SY directs him only to- shockingly- get hit.

So I feel like for the longest time they were just at odds and bickering before SY puts it on auto and just plays it like a turn based game. Like for him sometimes time is slower except for Binghe, so he has faster reactions and honestly is more in canon with the “protagonist halo”. Where he can spend points and has his own little influence if things are dire otherwise he is more or less following his favorite protagonist through the story.

And Being such a big Binghe fan he is more than happy to just Let Binghe have the power only taking control when things look dire. He is the biggest hype man, offering information and support, offering insight or knowledge only him as a strange green figment that only Binghe can see.

He vanishes when Binghe flirts with women though. He goes off and explores or watches monsters, he hated this aspect of the book and if Binghe wants then he should- he only gets protective and sticks around if he feels like Binghe is getting taken advantage of- (though the first few times Binghe snapped at him and told him to scram- so he did in his own pissy fit) they go right back to Bickering but fuck SY still cares and he kinda likes how he can see this part of Binghe’s story.

They can’t go far from each other (I am thinking about as far as camera can scroll out) but SY can turn off audio and stuff on his side.

Though eventually Binghe just starts to trust SY. If SY says right he is moving right, if SY says between the eyes his sword is inbetween their eyes, if SY says run and hide he vanishes from the field. Because for all the bitching, raging and ranting- Binghe does notice a lot is on his sake.

And you know…. In the Abyss he isn’t alone. He isn’t figuring this shit out by himself he has someone who floats next to him asking what he wants to improve. Attack? Speed? Health? He has someone that he can mentally connect with and they just both viciously attack low IQ villian and plots where only they can hear.

The angst that the only person to interact with SY is Binghe. Who he can’t hold when Binghe has nightmares, who he can only heal if he has the resources and to produce medicine/fast heal, but is also the only person who sees and hears SY. So if he is ignoring SY- SY is alone- and I think deep down he is a social person. Binghe is subjected to a flood of questions SY wants to ask.

And Binghe has one person who cares about him and is always at his side (even forced SY never implies he feels forced in fact he seems always excited to be next to Binghe)- and Binghe can’t touch him, can’t feed him (‘I would love to try your food- but I can’t.’), can’t cherish him.

SY who is nice, who is considerate, compassionate, he cursed like he lives in a brothel and rages like a demon- but he also scolds Binghe for ignoring people, he snaps when Binghe doesn’t actually help- just takes what he wants and leaves, he believes Binghe is so much better for the world if he only got over himself and stopped thinking with his rage and anger. He thinks Binghe is smart, he thinks Binghe is strong, he thinks even half demon- Binghe is meant to be good.

What a kick in the stomach.

They can’t touch but Shen Yuan is trying his fucking best to get Binghe through hell. He apologizes for bad calls, he gets better himself, he takes his hands off the reigns but I think there are times he can’t help it. They fight, they talk, they are together.

Shen Yuan always loves Binghe and maybe he still ends up a little blackened but Binghe is quietly determined to make SY corporal. Pull him from that control panel and somewhere Binghe can hold him close. Maybe tuck him away in a nice little cottage where there is a little farm and greenhouse with all the plants SY can tend to, bookshelves filled to the brim with books and stories, in a place where SY can see all sorts of creatures to his hearts content.

The “Video Game” character being protective of their “player”

SY being a rage gamer also is so funny to me, Binghe is the only one he hears the absolute filth and insults SY throws at their enemies and frankly he either repeats it or relents that he isn’t as creative.

Binghe maybe not aware of his protagonist halo but aware of the little green ghost who can just barely manipulate the world if Binghe is in enough trouble. Shen Yuan being the only one who gets quests and updates of things Binghe needs to do and being limited on what he can tell Binghe.

The soft apologies when SY can’t control where they go or what happens can only help Binghe respond.

This is long and I am still pulling thoughts but I am slowly getting brain rot

[pseudophan]

nora can i just ask… WHAT was he thinking? how was that lie ever going to work when they were doing everything so publicly in 2009? sure you can delete stuff but he must have known it was still out there anyway right? isn’t it pointless to be like i didn’t watch his videos when he was commenting on the interactive adventures like his life depended on it ?? he was trying to convince people he just happened to be in manchester one day with a friend and he just saw phil ???? when we all saw you counting down the days to meeting each other online like WHAT

https://x.com/pinofdnp/status/1855973085771387187?s=46

tweet link (it's one of the infamous 'we met through a mutual friend' claims)

to be fair to them both, if the phandom wasn't as unhinged as it was (is) they could've gotten away with that lie. kind of. dan and phil are hardly pr experts but this isn't really too crazy a move, like yeah the people who know the truth will always know the truth but if you tell a lie enough times then in theory new fans, and people who just never looked into it, are gonna go with your version of events and not question it. the main issue for dan and phil specifically was that their fanbase was essentially built on and around speculation about their relationship and cataloguing any and all proof of it. new fans and casuals often believed the lie at first just because like, why wouldn't they, but the second they stepped foot into the phandom they obviously discovered the not-so-hidden truth, because you didn't have to be a shipper or be looking for Phan Proof in order to come across it, all you had to do is search dan and phil on literally any website with a prominent phannie presence

to their credit they seemed to realise it wasn't gonna work pretty quickly, they abandoned the 'mutual friend' story almost immediately it feels like. then they went with the 'yeah we met online but we met up to collaborate' angle but i kind of feel like they didn't go too hard on that one, probably because they had finally started to learn that Oh My God Say Less Please Say Less Always Say Less Stop Talking Jesus Christ. like by far the most damning part of the clip in the tweet is dan insisting on being like "a lot of people seem to think-" about the actual truth like girl why would you plant that idea in the heads of those who hadn't heard it before. just say you met through a mutual friend and move on like fbsdhjfbdjksf. also at that point they kinda didn't give a fuck anymore, by the time they gave that infamous editing tips interview in 2015 they had long since abandoned trying to convince anyone they didn't meet because dan was an amazingphil fan and desperately wanted to befriend him because of it. the only part they were trying to hide at that point i would say was the whole y'know, fucking and sucking of it all

this whole reply is way too rambly and idk if it makes sense but i guess my point is IF dan and phil had a more casual core viewerbase (and also didn't give up on the lie immediately. and dan was less blatantly defensive about it) they probably could have made it work in the long run, even with the amount of evidence against it. i would go as far as to say that if not every then at least nearly every single influencer/celebrity/public figure of any kind have readily available information about them out there that most people, even fans of theirs, don't know about literally just because they wouldn't think to search for it. like how often does a Major Scandal break about some celeb and some people in the comments are like yea this has been known since 2004 everyone just stopped talking about it, lmao. not that dnp being gay for each other is a scandal but you know what i mean

basically they started telling that lie just as their popularity skyrocketed and i guess the hope was that the massive influx of new people would allow them to rewrite history, but alas...

[littleredwing89]

FAMOUS [PART SEVEN]

Bodyguard!Jason Todd x Singer!Reader

Summary: As the camera started rolling, you could feel Jason’s gaze burning into you. The male model’s hands grazed your waist as he leaned in for the shot, and you could practically hear Jason grinding his teeth.

Warnings: Some coercive nature, nothing too extreme. Language. Friendly banter.

A/N: Sending all my love to you wonderful readers & please enjoy the next chapter - Elle xoxo ❤️❤️

———

NO MEANS NO

———

The drive to the set was quiet, tension filling the air like static. You drummed your fingers nervously on the edge of your seat, stealing glances at Jason every now and then. He hadn’t said much since you left the apartment, but you could feel the weight of his presence, steady and solid. The shoot today was different—more provocative than you were used to—and the idea of it was gnawing at your nerves.

“You good?” Jason’s deep voice broke through your thoughts, startling you.

You gave him a tight smile, nodding. “Yeah, just… you know. A bit nervous.”

Jason glanced over at you, his brow furrowing slightly. “It’s just a shoot. You’ve done this a million times.”

You sighed, chewing on your bottom lip. “I know. But this one’s a bit more… raunchy.”

Jason’s grip on the steering wheel tightened imperceptibly, his jaw clenching. “You don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

“I know, but it’s part of the job.” You shrugged, trying to play it off, though the butterflies in your stomach refused to settle. “It’ll be fine. Just… more skin than usual.”

Jason didn’t say anything, but you could tell he wasn’t thrilled. His protective side had always been strong, but when it came to you, it seemed to go into overdrive. As much as you appreciated it, there were times—like now—when it felt like too much—this was just your job. But you couldn’t deny that a part of you found comfort in knowing he was there, watching your back.

By the time you reached the set, the pit in your stomach had grown, but you pushed it down, slipping into professional mode. The lights, the crew, the chaos—it was all familiar territory. You could do this.

Jason lingered on the outskirts, his eyes following your every move as the makeup artist prepped you and the director went over the shots. He looked more on edge than usual, and you could tell it was because of the male model standing way too close, rehearsing a scene that involved a little too much contact for Jason’s liking.

As the camera started rolling, you could feel Jason’s gaze burning into you. The male model’s hands grazed your waist as he leaned in for the shot, and you could practically hear Jason grinding his teeth. His jealousy was palpable, a simmering tension that made your own nerves feel even more frayed.

After a few more takes, the director finally called for a break. You stepped off the stage, relief washing over you—until the director approached.

“Alright, for this next shot, we’re gonna need you to strip down to your underwear,” he said, his tone casual as if he was asking you to grab coffee.

You froze. “I’m not comfortable with that.”

The director sighed, clearly annoyed. “Come on, everyone does it. It’s just for the video.”

You shook your head firmly. “I said no.”

Before you could take another step back, he grabbed your arm, his grip tight. “Don’t be difficult. You’re not that special.”

That’s when everything happened in a blur. Jason was there in an instant, his hand locking around the director’s wrist, pulling him away from you with a force that left the director stumbling. Jason’s face was a mask of barely-contained fury.

“The lady said no,” Jason growled, his voice low and dangerous.

You stepped back, heart pounding, but the moment Jason was between you and the director, you felt a surge of relief. He stood like a wall, his broad shoulders blocking you from the world, and in that moment, you were grateful for every inch of that protectiveness.

The director’s face twisted in anger. “You can’t just—”

“I don’t care who you think you are,” Jason interrupted, his voice icy. “She’s not doing anything she doesn’t want to do. Got it?”

The director straightened, his chest puffing out as he tried to regain control of the situation. “I’ll have you fired.”

Jason smirked, his eyes cold. “Try it.”

You stepped forward, placing a hand on Jason’s arm, feeling the tension rippling through his muscles. “Jay, it’s fine. Let’s just go.”

Jason’s gaze flicked down to you, softening slightly, but his grip on the director didn’t loosen. “He shouldn’t have touched you,” Jason muttered, still seething.

The director huffed, waving his hand dismissively. “Whatever. Go ahead and leave, both of you. You’re done here.”

Jason released him, stepping back but keeping himself between you and the director as he led you out of the set. The ride home was tense, Jason’s knuckles white on the steering wheel, his eyes fixed on the road ahead. Neither of you spoke, the adrenaline still thrumming in your veins.

———

When you finally reached your apartment, Jason hovered by the door, guilt flickering across his face. “I shouldn’t have blown up like that,” he muttered, glancing down.

You shook your head, stepping closer. “No, Jason, thank you. No one’s ever stood up for me like that before.”

Jason looked at you, his eyes searching yours. For a moment, the world felt quiet, the tension between you from earlier lingering but now mixed with something else—something deeper.

“I’m just doing my job,” Jason said softly, but his usual cocky tone was absent.

You smiled, your hand brushing lightly against his arm. “Well, you’re pretty good at it.”

Jason’s lips twitched into a small, rare smile as he looked down at you. “I just… I don’t like seeing people take advantage of you.”

His voice was low, rough with emotion he wasn’t used to showing. The space between you felt impossibly small, your heart pounding in your chest as you took in the way he was looking at you—protective, but something more. Something that made your breath hitch.

Your hand lingered on his arm, fingers brushing his bicep, the tension between you thickening. Jason took a step closer, closing the distance, his breath warm against your skin. His eyes flickered down to your lips, and for a moment, everything around you faded. It was just the two of you, standing in your dimly lit apartment, the air charged with unspoken words and possibilities.

Just as Jason leaned in, your phone buzzed loudly in your pocket, jolting you both out of the moment.

You blinked, startled, quickly pulling it out. Harley’s name flashed on the screen, her timing as impeccable as ever. You let out a sigh, holding the phone up for Jason to see. “It’s Harley.”

Jason exhaled sharply, shaking his head with a grin that was both amused and frustrated. “Of course it is.”

You answered the call, trying to ignore the heat still simmering between you and Jason. “Hey, Harley.”

“Babydoll!” Harley’s voice crackled through the speaker. “Just checkin’ in to see if you’re okay after that scumbag director tried to pull a fast one on ya. I swear, next time we’re gonna break his kneecaps, Gotham-style!”

You chuckled softly, glancing over at Jason, who was standing by the door now, arms crossed but eyes still locked on you. “I’m fine, Harley. Jason handled it.”

“Good ol’ Jaybird,” Harley chimed in, her voice loud enough for Jason to hear. “Always knowin’ how to make a statement. Anyway, just wanted to make sure you’re alright. Ivy’s threatening to plant rotten prawns in that director’s office. We’ll keep you posted!”.

You thanked her and hung up, sliding your phone back into your pocket. Jason’s gaze was still on you, but the intensity of the moment had been interrupted. He ran a hand through his hair, clearly still on edge from earlier.

“Well, Harley has your back too, it seems,” Jason muttered with a soft smirk, though his eyes were still stormy with everything unsaid.

You walked over to him, standing close enough that you could feel the heat radiating off his body. “Seems like I’ve got a whole team looking out for me.”

Jason’s expression softened. “You do. Always.”

For a moment, neither of you spoke, the weight of the evening hanging in the air. Finally, Jason exhaled, his hand brushing your arm lightly before he stepped back. “I should go. You need rest after today.”

You nodded, though part of you wished he would stay. “Yeah, You’re probably right,” you said softly, even though you didn’t want him to leave. The warmth of his presence was comforting, and the thought of being alone after everything that happened on set felt unsettling.

Jason lingered by the door, hesitating for a moment. He looked at you, his expression unreadable, a mix of concern and something more that neither of you seemed ready to voice. “If you need anything, you know where to find me.”

You nodded, offering him a small smile. “Thanks, Jay.”

He took a step toward the door, hand resting on the knob, but before he could open it, he turned back. His eyes met yours again, and for a split second, the tension from earlier resurfaced, thick and undeniable.

“Listen,” Jason began, his voice lower now, as if he was struggling to find the right words. “About earlier… I didn’t mean to overstep. I just—” He paused, jaw tightening. “I care about you. I don’t want anyone hurting you or pushing you around.”

Your heart skipped a beat at his words, and you took a step closer to him. “I know, Jason. And I’m really glad you were there.”

For a moment, you both just stood there, the weight of everything between you hanging in the air like a taut string about to snap. Jason’s eyes flicked down to your lips, but instead of leaning in, Jason just nodded, his usual cocky demeanour softened by something more vulnerable. “Get some rest,” he said, voice gruff. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

With that, he opened the door and stepped out into the hallway, leaving you standing in the quiet of your apartment, heart still racing from the closeness of the moment you’d almost shared.

As the door clicked shut, you let out a breath you didn’t realise you were holding, feeling the lingering warmth of his presence and the unspoken promise of something more hanging in the air.

Whatever was building between you and Jason—it wasn’t over yet.

————

Jason sat on the edge of a bench outside the coffee shop, absently stirring a cold brew in his hand. The morning sun was just starting to peek through the clouds, casting a warm glow on the world around him. There was a nagging feeling of conflict settled in his stomach.

“Earth to Jay!” Roy called, approaching with his usual exuberance, a bright grin plastered on his face. “You look like you just got hit by a truck. Or maybe you finally got your ass kicked by a squirrel?”

Jason rolled his eyes. “Funny as always, Roy.”

“What’s eating you? It’s not like you to be so… contemplative.” Roy leaned against the railing, his posture relaxed but his eyes keen.

“I think I’m falling for her,” Jason admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.

Roy’s eyes widened in exaggerated shock. “Wait, you mean you’re actually having feelings? That’s a plot twist I wasn’t prepared for!”

“Shut up,” Jason muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. “I mean it. I really like her, but I’m supposed to be protecting her, not… I don’t know, trying to date her…I’m not right for her anyway...”

“Ah, the classic ‘I can’t love you because I’m a tortured soul with a dark past’ dilemma,” Roy said, shaking his head as he feigned seriousness. “How original”.

“Dude, it’s not a joke,” Jason snapped. “What if something happens to her because I’m too close? I can’t stand the thought of her getting hurt.”

Roy raised an eyebrow, the teasing tone softening. “You’re a good guy, Jay. You’re going to protect her regardless of whether you’re dating her or not. And besides, wouldn’t you rather have her close? You know, where you can keep an eye on her and shower her with affection?”

“Right, because that’s not going to complicate things at all,” Jason retorted, crossing his arms.

“Complicated? Please, that’s the foundation of every great romance!” Roy grinned, leaning in conspiratorially. “Besides, have you seen how she looks at you? Like you’re the last cookie in the jar, and she’s ready to fight anyone for a bite.”

Jason couldn’t help but chuckle at the image. “That’s… oddly specific.”

“Hey, I’ve been known to get creative with my analogies,” Roy shrugged, then turned serious again. “Look, if you really care about her, you owe it to yourself to figure this out. Don’t push her away just because you��re scared. That’s the kind of thing that leads to a lifetime of regret.”

“Yeah, but what if I screw it all up?” Jason sighed, looking away. “What if I’m not enough?”

Roy placed a hand on Jason’s shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “Look, you’re a total dork, but you’re also one of the best guys I know. If she makes you happy, go for it. Just make sure you bring your A-game. I expect romantic gestures, flowers, maybe a serenade?”

Jason laughed, shaking his head. “No serenades. I’d rather face a horde of angry thugs.”

“Suit yourself, but just know that I’ll be expecting updates. And I’ll also be taking notes for my own love life,” Roy said, grinning. “So, when’s the first date?”

“I don’t know,” Jason admitted. “But I’ll figure it out. Just… thanks for the pep talk, man.”

“Anytime, buddy. Just remember: love is like coffee. Sometimes it’s bitter, sometimes it’s sweet, but in the end, it’ll keep you awake at night thinking about it.”

Jason chuckled, shaking his head again. “You really are full of shit, you know that?”

“Yep! But at least I’m your shit,” Roy said, winking. “Now, go make a move, Romeo.”

***

[domm1etae]

Hello!! If requests are still open can I ask for a Seonghwa/reader office fic? Ever since I've found that one office asmr video he did I can't stop thinking about it 😭

Overtime Attraction

seonghwa x reader

oneshot | mdni

2.5k

Y/N’s strict, no-nonsense boss Seonghwa calls them in for a late-night “work session” that quickly turns into way more than just project revisions

nsfw tags under

readers gender not specif. , top seonghwa, boss/employee, workplace tension, power dynamics, praise kink, slow burn, buildup, desk sex, possessive seonghwa, tension release, passionate make-out, teasing, thigh touching, mutual pining, eye contact, unguarded moments, lap straddling, finger teasing, deep kissing, after-hours intimacy, needy touches

Y/N hurried down the marble hallway, heels clicking in sync with the beat of the clock ticking on the wall. It was 8:59, and every second mattered when it came to Park Seonghwa. As their boss, he was notorious for his unwavering punctuality and no-nonsense attitude. Nothing frustrated him more than tardiness, and Y/N had been on the receiving end of his reprimands enough times to know they didn’t want to push his patience any further.

Sliding into their desk just as the clock struck nine, Y/N let out a small sigh of relief. But the relief was short-lived. Seonghwa’s office door opened, and he stepped out with his usual commanding presence. He scanned the room, his sharp gaze briefly landing on Y/N, and for a moment, they could feel their pulse race.

“Team meeting in the conference room. Now,” he announced, his tone clipped and direct. No unnecessary pleasantries. Just business as always.

Y/N grabbed their notebook, gathering themselves before following him. As they settled into their usual seat, they couldn’t help but feel a rush of nerves. This project was crucial, and Seonghwa had been working them all hard to ensure everything went perfectly. His expectations were high, and they didn’t want to be the one who let the team down.

Seonghwa took his seat at the head of the table, flipping through his notes with focused precision. He went over every aspect of the project, analyzing each detail and making it clear exactly what he wanted. His calm, authoritative tone filled the room, and Y/N found themselves hyper-aware of every word, jotting down notes to ensure they wouldn’t miss a thing. But despite their efforts, Seonghwa’s expression remained as unreadable as ever.

At the end of the meeting, as everyone else began packing up to leave, Seonghwa’s gaze fell on Y/N. He raised an eyebrow, his face as composed as always.

“Y/N, stay behind a moment.”

Y/N felt their stomach tighten with a mix of anticipation and dread. Had they made a mistake? They waited as the room emptied, glancing up at Seonghwa as he watched everyone file out. Once the door closed, he leaned back, his fingers steepled in thought.

“There’s a section in your report from last night that has some errors,” he said, his voice firm but not unkind. “Some critical data was left out. I’ll need to go over it with you later to make sure it’s fixed before tomorrow.”

Y/N nodded, feeling a pang of embarrassment. They’d spent hours on that report, meticulously checking each line, but evidently, it hadn’t been enough to meet his standards. “Of course, sir. I’m really sorry about the oversight—I thought I’d gotten everything.”

Seonghwa’s gaze softened, but only slightly. “I know you worked hard, and I appreciate the effort. But my standards are high for a reason.” He glanced at his watch. “I have meetings the rest of the day, so we’ll handle this tonight after hours. Make sure you’re available.”

Y/N’s heart skipped at the idea of being alone in the office with Seonghwa, especially given the tension that had been building between them over the past few weeks. There was something about him—his intense focus, his precision—that made it hard not to be captivated by him. And though they’d never admit it, the idea of a private meeting with him was thrilling.

“Understood,” they replied, maintaining their composure despite the rush of anticipation.

Throughout the day, Y/N worked tirelessly to finish other tasks while nervously glancing at the clock. The office gradually emptied, and by 7 PM, they and Seonghwa were the only ones left. As the last few coworkers waved goodbye, Seonghwa finally emerged from his office, his expression as composed as ever.

“Y/N,” he called, gesturing for them to follow him. They stood up, clutching their notes and laptop, and walked into his office, feeling a mix of nerves and excitement settle over them as he closed the door behind them.

He sat down across from them, pulling up the document on his computer. “Let’s start from the top,” he said, his tone matter-of-fact as he scanned through the lines. They worked through the report, his voice low and steady as he pointed out each section that needed correction.

But as the minutes ticked by, the air between them grew more charged. Every time his hand brushed over the mouse, or his shoulder accidentally brushed theirs, Y/N felt their heart skip a beat. His closeness was almost dizzying, and the usual stoic, unbreakable mask he wore seemed to falter slightly as they moved through the corrections together.

At one point, as they both reached for the same section on the screen, their hands met, lingering longer than necessary. Y/N looked up, catching the flicker of something deeper in his gaze—a hint of warmth, of something that wasn’t entirely professional. His fingers lingered on theirs, and he didn’t pull away.

Seonghwa cleared his throat, finally releasing their hand. But his gaze remained intense, locked on them with an unreadable expression. “Y/N,” he began, his voice lower than before, carrying a hint of vulnerability. “I… don’t usually let things like this happen.”

Y/N’s heart pounded. “Me neither,” they whispered, barely able to find their voice. There was something raw in his expression, something they hadn’t seen before. And in that moment, the weight of his controlled, disciplined exterior finally broke.

He leaned forward, his hand reaching out to brush a strand of hair from their face. “You’ve been working so hard,” he murmured, his fingers grazing their cheek with surprising tenderness. “But I think there’s been something between us for a while now.”

Y/N’s breath hitched, and before they could respond, he closed the distance between them, his lips brushing softly against theirs. The kiss was gentle at first, almost cautious, as if testing the waters. But as they melted into his touch, his grip on their waist tightened, pulling them closer. His strict, measured demeanor fell away, replaced by a passion that left them breathless.

Seonghwa lifted them onto his desk, his hands exploring with a newfound freedom that left them shivering. He whispered praise, his words quiet and reverent, as if he were savoring each moment. “I’ve wanted this for longer than I should admit,” he murmured against their skin, his voice thick with desire.

Y/N wrapped their arms around his neck, pulling him closer, their own restraint slipping away. The air was charged, heavy with everything unspoken between them.

Seonghwa’s lips brushed against Y/N’s, deepening the kiss as his hands found their waist, pulling them flush against him. Y/N’s legs shifted, one knee rising as they positioned themselves on his lap, their skirt hiking up as they straddled him. A low sound rumbled from his chest, sending a shiver down Y/N’s spine as his fingers traced circles on their thighs.

“Y/N…” Seonghwa’s breath ghosted over their lips, his voice thick with a want he had carefully kept buried until now. “You… have no idea…”

Y/N’s fingers traced up to his tie, tugging it slightly, silently urging him closer. He let out a soft groan, pressing his hips forward so they could feel the evidence of his own need. His hands traveled up their sides, grazing over the fabric of their blouse, his touch just shy of indulgent.

“More,” Y/N whispered, the word escaping them in a needy breath. They felt their pulse quicken as his hands finally traveled to cup their face, his thumb brushing softly over their bottom lip before trailing down, brushing over the sensitive spot at the base of their neck.

A sly smile played on Seonghwa’s lips as he watched their reactions, reveling in every hitch of their breath and the faint flush on their cheeks. “Oh, you want more?” His voice held a note of control, deep and rich, as if he was savoring each moment of their unraveling.

“Yes…” they murmured, and he raised an eyebrow, his hands sliding back down to grip their waist firmly. They gasped softly as he lifted them onto his desk, his expression darkening as he took in the sight of them, legs spread just enough to reveal the hint of lace at the edge of their skirt.

He leaned in, capturing their lips again, a little rougher this time, his gloved hand reaching to cradle their cheek while his other hand trailed to their thigh, inching upward with a slow deliberateness. Each kiss became more intense, more consuming, until they felt dizzy with need. His thumb traced small circles on the bare skin just below the hem of their skirt, his lips moving to trail down their neck, nibbling softly as he went.

Y/N’s hands clutched the back of his blazer, pulling him close as he teased them, letting out a quiet whimper as his hand finally ventured to the edge of their underwear. “Seonghwa, please…”

He smiled against their skin, his breath warm as he whispered, “Shh, we’re not alone yet. Do you really want someone to hear?” But despite his caution, his thumb pressed into them through the fabric, earning a muffled gasp from Y/N as they bit their lip to keep quiet.

"Good. Just like that,” he murmured, his voice heavy with approval, as he toyed with them, keeping the touch just light enough to drive them wild with need. “Be good for me, and I’ll give you exactly what you want.”

Unable to contain their need any longer, they pressed their hips up to meet his touch, their body aching for more as he continued to tease, his fingers tracing soft circles around their most sensitive spot, still separated by just a thin layer of fabric. His control, his restraint, was maddening, and he relished every second of watching them unravel under his touch.

With his other hand still steady on their cheek, he finally whispered against their lips, “Hold on to me, Y/N.”

Seonghwa’s voice was steady and sure, like he was holding the reins even as the world tilted beneath them both. Y/N’s pulse quickened, their hands clutching his shoulders, fingers digging into the firm line of his back. His words echoed in their mind—Hold on to me. They did as he commanded, wrapping their legs around his waist, drawing him closer still, as he continued his slow, torturous exploration.

His fingers traced the waistband of their underwear, skimming over their skin just enough to leave a tingling path. He maintained eye contact, a look of both mischief and fierce intent in his gaze, as if savoring the power he held in their shared secret, here, alone in his office after hours. Y/N was panting softly, struggling to keep quiet even as their restraint unraveled under his measured, relentless touch.

Seonghwa’s lips met the edge of their jawline, and he brushed his nose along their cheek, lingering by their ear. His whisper was barely audible, but it sent a shiver down their spine. “You’re so beautiful like this, Y/N,” he murmured. “So responsive… so ready for me.”

Y/N’s head tilted back, giving him access to the curve of their neck, and he didn’t waste the opportunity. His lips trailed down, placing open-mouthed kisses along their throat, teeth grazing just enough to leave a whisper of pressure before he soothed each spot with his tongue. His hand slid up their thigh, and this time, he didn’t stop at the edge of their underwear. His fingers slipped beneath the fabric, finding their center, slick and warm with anticipation.

A shaky breath escaped Y/N as his fingers began to move, slow and sure, teasing and tracing over every sensitive spot he discovered. Y/N’s hands found his tie again, tugging at it reflexively as their head fell back, eyes fluttering shut as they lost themselves in the sensation. His touch was skilled, and the friction drove them to the brink, each movement adding fuel to the smoldering fire between them.

“Look at me,” he commanded, his voice low, a trace of roughness seeping into his usually controlled tone. Y/N’s gaze met his, and the intensity in his eyes made them feel as if they were laid bare, every inch of desire on display for him alone. He didn’t look away, his fingers moving with greater purpose now, watching every small gasp and whimper, reveling in the effect he had on them.

When he finally withdrew his hand, Y/N bit back a whine of protest, only to feel him shift them back on the desk, guiding them to lie back. The cold surface beneath was a stark contrast to the warmth radiating from his body as he loomed over them, lips curved in a self-assured smirk.

“Be patient, Y/N,” he whispered as he leaned down, his hands tracing the curves of their body before he carefully unbuttoned their blouse, his touch gentle yet decisive. “We don’t want to rush this… not after all that time spent building up to it.”

With each article of clothing he removed, his gaze became more intense, drinking in the sight of them with an appreciative, possessive gleam. When they were finally bared before him, he let his hands roam, mapping every inch of them, his touch both comforting and electrifying.

His lips claimed theirs again, and this time, there was no restraint. His kiss was demanding, consuming, his hands gripping their hips as he settled between their legs. They could feel the hard press of him against their core, both of them beyond any semblance of control. His fingers laced with theirs as he aligned himself, pressing forward with an exquisite slowness that made them gasp. His forehead rested against theirs as he whispered, “You’re mine tonight, Y/N. Every part of you.”

With every thrust, his control slipped just a bit further, and he abandoned the careful restraint he had kept around his desire for so long. They clung to each other, their shared need overcoming any lingering hesitations, their breaths mingling in the heated silence of the empty office.

Each movement was a promise fulfilled, a long-held tension finally released, as he guided them to the brink, his voice a steady, grounding presence in their ear, murmuring words of praise and desire that left them trembling beneath him. And as they reached their peak together, Seonghwa’s name fell from Y/N’s lips in a breathless whisper, echoing into the quiet, marking the end of one kind of distance—and the beginning of something far more consuming.

They stayed close, breaths slowing as they held each other, still entangled on his desk. Seonghwa’s fingers gently traced along their arm, as if reluctant to let them go, even now. He smiled, soft and real, his usually sharp expression softened in a rare, unguarded moment.

“Tomorrow…” he began, a hint of amusement in his voice, “you might just have to stay late again.”

[lokisprettygirl]

Twice the love (Daemon Targaryen x Female Reader) (Non Canon Modern Au)

Read chapter 1 here

Chapter 2

Summary: Daemon gives you a choice.

Warning: 18+, Sexual assualt, blackmailing, abusive relationship Drowning, Resuscitation, suicide, cheating

His grip on your forearm was tight as he hauled you towards the hotel room and as soon as the room arrived he shoved you in and glared at you.

“I saw you kissing him you fucking whore” he said as he advanced towards you in the manner that always made you afraid.

“I wouldn't have if I knew you had a twin brother, you never told me about him why?” You asked him so he closed the distance between you both.

“It's my family, I'll decide when I want to share about them” he sneered as he glared at you.

“You lied to me that night.. didn't you? You never saved my life -” Before you could finish your words he had your chin between his fingers in a tight painful vise.

“And? What's your point? Why does it matter? It's been two years, love, you love me now don't you or it was all lies hmm?” He asked you and the confirmation made tears roll down your eyes, not that you needed it, the moment you had kissed his brother you knew he was the one.

The man who saved your life couldn't have been this callous with you. Your mind reminisced the moment you had kissed him, Daemon, his touch was so tender, so unlike what you had in Raymond at the moment.

“I can't do this anymore -” you raised your voice but that only earned you a harsh slap on the cheek in response, the last time he had hit you he had promised to never do it again, his promises didn't really mean much though.

“You are going to be mine sweetheart, for as long as I want” he sneered as he pushed you down on the bed, his tone dripping with malice “Do you not remember those pictures and videos I took of you hmm? Do you want them out for the whole world to see? Want to show them what a whore you are?”

You froze as he loomed over you, shock coursing through your body. Despite his past transgressions, you hadn't expected him to stoop to this level. Few months into the relationship he had persuaded and pressured you into making the video, the idea had made you uneasy, but your love for him had overridden your reservations. And now, those foolish choices were coming back to haunt you once again.

You laid motionless beneath him until he was satisfied, until he was exhausted and worn himself out before drifting into sleep, you watched him carefully to make sure he was deep in sleep and then you grabbed a shawl to wrap it around yourself as you stepped out of the room and took the elevator down to the lobby. As soon as the elevator door opened you flinched as you saw Daemon, they looked so similar it unnerved you now. For a moment you thought it was Raymond.

Without saying a word you walked past him so he sighed and hesitated for a moment before he followed you out of the hotel, he had noticed the red mark on your cheek, he knew his brother and he knew what he was capable of.

There was a beach nearby and as he watched you heading towards it he caught up with you, his presence made you halt your steps and stare at him.

“What are you doing?” you asked as you crossed your arms.

“It's late, I'm making sure you-” you interrupted him before he could even finish his words.

“What? Making sure I won't Drown again?”

You snapped at him, knowing far too well that your anger was misplaced, it hurt knowing that the man you loved wasn't really the man you wanted to love, knowing that the man who saved your life wasn't the one you had spent two years with. You felt foolish.

“Just want to make sure you are safe” your eyes teared up as he said that, he had the same voice as Raymond but there was a softness in his tone that was unmatched and foreign to you, you weren't used to a man speaking to you this way.

As you turned to walk towards the shoreline again he followed you and then sat down next to you, there was a slight chill in the winds so he took off his coat and placed it around you even though you had a shawl already.

For a few moments none of you said anything, but then he couldn't take the silence anymore.

“Why were you in the water that night darling?” He asked you, making your eyes well up again for two different reasons, the memories of that night still haunted you and you realized how Raymond had never cared to even ask why you had given up on your life.

“It was an accident” you answered, trying to keep your voice nonchalant but failing miserably.

“I watched you go in” he mumbled softly but there was a hint of sadness in his tone “I was on a phone call, not far away from you, I saw you go in, you didn't fall, nobody pushed you”

As tears rolled down your eyes he quietly leaned his shoulder into yours, he didn't want to get into your personal space but he wanted to comfort you, he had thought about you almost every day for the past three years.

You were quiet for a minute before you spoke again,

“Life at home wasn't..great. My father often got mad at the drop of a hat, one minute he was fine, the funniest man in the room, the other moment he'd be verbally abusing everyone around him. It was confusing, I didn't know whether I was supposed to be happy and enjoy the moment or not whenever I was around him” your voice choked on your tears but you continued ,

‘My mother on the other hand, she never thought of anyone else above herself, in her mind the world revolved around her, that trait was shared by her and my dad, they always had an opinion about everything I did, nothing I did seemed to be enough for them. So as I got older I moved out, i know they were toxic, but at least i could go home at times and be with them, talk to them, still have a family, that Christmas three years ago, everything changed, a disagreement happened between me and my mother and my dad wanted to hit me because of it, that was the last time I saw them or talked to them, i wasn't in good headspace, I lost the only family I had, I had no family anymore” you looked down as you said that, trying to keep your tears at bay, you really wanted to tell him about that night, you always wanted to share.

“So when I got drunk that night, the ocean didn't seem to scare me anymore, it felt like an escape -”

He didn't interrupt you as you spoke, not once, a part of him knew you needed to let it out of your system.

“That's not to say that I wanted to die..as soon as I felt that i was drowning I begged to the universe to pull me out somehow, make a miracle happen, i wanted my life back so I could live it on my own terms now-” your voice choked so he placed his hand on yours, his thumb brushed gently over your skin so you looked at him.

“And then you saved me, like an angel” you mumbled so he brought his fingers up to tuck your hair behind your ears before he responded.

“I was no angel my darling, I was just around” you shook your head as he said that.

“For me you were, i could never get you out of my head, so when I saw you a year later, i latched onto you like a koala bear, except it wasn't really you..it was your brother” his eyes teared up as you said that,

“He lied to you didn't he?” he asked and you couldn't help but chuckle.

“I'm the fool here”

“No you are not, I'd have done the same if it was me”

He wasn't telling you what you wanted to hear, he was telling you the truth, if he had found a twin of yours he would have latched onto you as well.

“I know my brother, he has always been troubled, to put it mildly-”

“He never told me about you”

“Why would he? He despises my existence” he said as he brought his fingers up to caress the mark on your cheek “You don't deserve this after everything you have been through darling”

You opened your mouth to say something but then Raymond's threat flashed through your mind.

“I should get back before he-”

You quickly got up so he sighed and stood up as well, you couldn't help but stare at him as you walked side by side, the way he talked to you, comforted you, his gentle aura, it reminded you of that man you had built up in your dreams but it was pointless to think about it now, you were stuck with Raymond and he won't let you go until he was bored.

“It was lovely meeting you again, I never got the chance to thank you for doing what you had done for me”

You said to him as the hotel arrived so he nodded, he wanted to say something too but he didn't know how you'd take it at this moment.

“Good night” you mumbled softly as you went into the hotel, when you reached the room Raymond was still asleep so you breathed a sigh of relief, as you went to the bathroom you realized you hadn't returned his coat and you'd be in so much trouble if Raymond would find it the next morning so you hid his coat in your luggage.

Next day as you were getting ready for the wedding Raymond approached you and hugged you from behind.

“I'm sorry about last night, I was in a bad mood” you stared at him in the mirror as he said that, this was a pattern you were familiar with by now.

“Okay” you responded casually so he grabbed your chin and turned you towards him

“Okay? That's all hmm? You're not going to throw tantrums?” he snickered so you shook your head in response.

“No”

“Good girl..I love you”

He pecked your lips before he stepped away from you. Every inch of your skin felt disgusted, it was easier to tolerate his behavior when you were burdened by the knowledge of him being your savior but after meeting Daemon, after realizing that the man who had saved your life was exactly how you had dreamt of him, Raymond only disgusted you now. You escaped a toxic situation only to end up in another one and the thought saddened you. How could you be so weak?

As you sat in the Church, you saw Daemon on the other side of the aisle, he gave you a nod before he approached you and sat down next to you so you looked around for Raymond.

“You look beautiful darling” he mumbled softly so you looked at him.

“Thank you but Please sit somewhere else” you said to him as politely as you could.

“Are you afraid?”

“No..i..i mean i wouldn't want him to assume things-”

“Don't worry he's .. occupied” he said as he looked at you, he saw the confusion in your beautiful eyes.

“With what?”

“With one of the bridesmaids.. I'm not sure if it's the same one as the last night or not” your eyes teared up as he said that. You had your doubts, he was an attractive man, you couldn't deny it but it still hurt to have someone else lay it out so casually that your boyfriend didn't give a shit about you.

“I'm staying in 222 ..you can come talk to me anytime you want, I'm leaving for London tomorrow” he said as he got up and left before Raymond would return, he wasn't scared of his brother ofcourse not, but he was scared of what he'd do to you if he had any idea that his twin brother was trying to steal away his girl.

When Raymond came back he looked happier, well satisfied, his hair was messed up which he desperately tried to fix with his fingers. Later that night you watched him eye fucking that one particular bridesmaid throughout the wedding reception and when you couldn't keep your mouth shut you finally spoke.

“Enjoyed it?” You asked him so he glared at you.

“What are you talking about?” He asked nonchalantly

“You KNOW what I'm talking about” he snickered as you said that before he turned to you and placed his palm around your nape and gave it a light squeeze.

“Well now that you know i’d ask you to mind your own fucking business sweetheart, you do not own me you know that right?”

Your eyes teared up so you looked around, the only person who had his eyes on you was Daemon. Sweet Daemon, your angel, perhaps it was your bad luck it wasn't really him that night at the bar. Luck has never really been your friend.

Raymond was absolutely shit faced by the end of the night, you had seen him drunk before but this was different, he couldn't even walk properly, two of his cousins had to carry him to the room. Once he had passed out you took the coat out of your luggage and made your way to 222. On the way you put it on yourself, enjoying the way it felt around you, his scent engulfed you,

You knocked on his door with bated breaths and were about to take off the coat when he opened the door and quickly grabbed your hand to pull you inside.

“I..I came to…return this” you mumbled softly so he stepped away from you after closing the door.

“Keep it, it looks better on you..have a seat” he smiled as he walked towards the fridge and gestured for you to sit on the couch so you obliged “Want a drink?”

“No i..can't stay for long, he gets up in the middle of the night��� his heart clenched as you said that, you were living in such fear of the man who was supposed to protect you and take care of you.

“Don't worry, I took care of it, he won't be up until tomorrow morning, I promise you” you looked at him curiously as he said that, not that you weren't grateful for the escape even if it was for a few hours.

“What did you do?” he smiled as you questioned him, even the way he smiled seemed warmer somehow.

“That's for me to know and you to never find out..so a drink?”

“Just a soda”

He handed you a can of coke before he sat down next to you on the couch, you could smell his perfume and a part of you just wanted to crawl up to him and hug him but everytime you looked at him he reminded you of Raymond, they had the same face but the difference was the man next to you had saved your life once while the man who pretended to be him has been trying to ruin it.

“I thought..twins were supposed to be like..this” you said to him as you placed the can on your lap before you conjoined your palms together.

“Common misconception..me and my brother has never seen eye to eye”

You nodded as he said that, you didn't want to pry yet or ever, both of you would go your separate ways tomorrow.

“That night..ummm..after you saved me..you disappeared..why?” you asked and he was anticipating the question.

“I had to..I had a flight i couldn't really miss even if i wanted to miss it.. desperately” his voice was riddled with a touch of regret as he spoke.

“Okay..I just wish I knew your name”

“I have wished for it too darling” he mumbled as he sipped on his bear, one of his arms resting on the head of the couch, you noticed how effortlessly attractive and sexy he was unlike Raymond who had to try really hard at times. Your face flushed as you thought about the dreams you used to have about him but then his question snapped you out of your naughty thoughts.

“Why won't you leave him?” You gulped as he questioned you, your fingers fidgeting with the tab of the can.

“I love him” a part of you indeed loved him but after what he had done to you and how he had threatened you and how he was cheating on you, that love was fading away really quickly.

“Sure you do” he said as he placed his beer on the table and scooted closer to you. His thumb brushed over your cheek, you had tried to hide the mark as much as you could but he knew they were there, he knew how his brother treated you and it made him want to take you far away from him.

As you leaned into his touch he cupped your cheeks and leaned forward to kiss you, you reciprocated too, you had been thinking about it all night even though you felt guilty about it, you then pulled away slightly to look at him

“I can't..it's wrong..I'm not this person” you mumbled as your eyes teared up.

“I can tell..I don't know why you still want to be with him, knowing he lied , knowing he's cheating on you..but if you ever want to get out of this I'll help you i promise” he mumbled softly so you let out a bitter laugh.

“You don't even know me..I'm just some girl you rescued three years ago-” you got up as you said that, you had to leave now or you knew it would hurt much worse if you were to give into these desires you felt for him and he didn't stop you from leaving either.

Next morning you had to go back to Cardiff with Raymond and your heart felt heavy. He was throwing tantrums first thing in the morning so you grabbed your luggage and took the elevator to the lounge, you didn't know what Daemon had mixed in his drink and you didn't care if you were being honest.

As you sat down you retrieved Daemon's coat from the handbag, your fingers ran over the soft fabric and as you reached the coat pocket you realized there was something inside. You pulled out a paper and as you opened it you saw your own face staring back at you, it was a sketch of you, drawn with immaculate details, there was Daemon's signature at the bottom of the picture with a date written on it.

It was dated a week after that night at the beach.

Your eyes welled up as you couldn't really make sense of it, he made a sketch of you from memory? Why? Why would he make a sketch of you? Did he want to remember you too?

“Excuse me, Mam?” You heard a voice so you wiped your tears and looked up, it was the receptionist.

“This was left for you” she said to you as she handed you an envelope so you took it and thanked her politely.

It was from Daemon, it smelled like him.

You quickly opened the envelope before Raymond would get down there but by the time you were done reading it you knew you had a decision to make, a decision about whether you wanted to suffer the rest of your life and live in fear or take a chance on a man who had already saved you once.

“Darling,

Whatever I'm going to tell you might sound like fabrication but it's not, whether you want to believe me or not is entirely your decision. That night at the beach, I wasn't the only one to save your life, you saved mine too..

I was on a call with my taxi driver, he was waiting for me and I was about to leave when I saw you at the shoreline. For a moment I was stunned, you looked beautiful with winds tousling your hair, the way the moonlight kissed your silhouette, I was mesmerized and then I watched you go into the waters and the rest is history, our history. The following day I discovered that the taxi I most definitely would have taken if it wasn't for you had crashed and the passenger was killed on the spot. So you see, if I hadn't stopped to save you, I probably would have died that night.

Even though I left you behind, your beautiful face never really left me, I dreamt of you ever so often and I have looked for you for so long but I could never find you until two nights ago when you stood right behind me and hugged me. For a moment I thought I was dreaming again but then you kissed me and I knew you were all real.

I know you have been hurt by my brother and you stayed because you thought you owed him your life but you don't and you definitely don't owe me anything either, if you choose to leave him I'd not want you to put me on a pedestal or treat me like a god or an angel because I'm none of those things, I'm just a man who couldn't look away when he saw the prettiest girl on a beach that night. And that man would like to know you further and he'd certainly want to treat you better. .

I'm leaving my information on the back, my contact number, my address, anything you could need, I'd wait for your call darling.

Daemon”

💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

[zyafics-recs]

reblogging comment review from @zyafics

guess who has to be studying for another exam but instead she needs to catch up on this fic? (this girl) little annotations below ⬇️

Or the next. You couldn’t. Every time you picked up one of the stupid boxes, your heart would drop to the pits of hell and your hands would start sweating. You’d shove it back in the drawer like it could disappear if you just ignored it hard enough.

manifest it girlypop

What if it was positive? Then what? The thought of seeing his name pop up on your phone after you blocked him, or worse, hearing her voice if she picked up...you’d rather die. He didn't deserve to know.

i eat up any scenes where she wants nothing to do with him and he barges into her life and finds out all the things he's been missing out? the angst of not being able to go backward in time no matter how much you regret it

You heard that voice in your head, the one that sounded like your mom, at least what you remembered from watching old videos.

i would burst out in tears

Your younger cousin, Topper the bitching backstabber, had been born and raised in Los Angeles before he moved to Figure 8 when he was five. 

i was like why r we bringing up topper's bitch ass here and then i realized it to put in a frame of reference that she couldn't possibly know topper's birth bc he moved to kildare later. i just thought reader needed to put in a quick jab about topper 😭

You weren’t exactly the picture of health. What if you weren’t strong enough? What if something went wrong, and you ended up in a hospital bed, alone, because Rafe sure as fuck wouldn’t be there. It was just you.

i love the spiral of madness. i'm reading (and analyzing) it and i'm so so amazed by how ur structure descends. it flows so smoothly - from one topic to the next - all at a great pace and with a lot of internal turmoil. it builds up to me feeling everything reader feels.

It hit you just how ironic this was. You were sitting here, freaking out about being possibly pregnant, scrolling through nightmare stories about abortion and pregnancy complications, while Lily was talking about a fundraiser for children’s health. Kids. It felt like some twisted repulsive joke the universe was playing on you.

ugh, i love the parallels between her being (potentially) pregnant and the idea that she has to wrap her life around this foundation for children.

The fucking nerve. To your gala. Your blood boiled instantly, your fingers gripping the phone so tight you almost cracked the screen.

i love her i feel like she inches closer to insanity every day and i, too, feel the same

If Rafe wanted to play games, you’d ruin his life if you had to. He thought he could fuck you over, leave you with all this—leave you with nothing? No. You weren’t going to let him have that power.

like i said

You were shaking now, but it almost felt good. Even if it was just a stupid guest list. Let him find out when he got there and there was no table for him. No seat. No fucking room. 

BABES 😭 YOU'RE CARRYING HIS CHILD oh this is too good, the idea that she wants to erase him from her life and leave no space for him (mind), but her body is accommodating spacefor his child, making her reserve a permanent space for him in her life

Every year. He’d sit with you while you struggled through every word, telling you it was okay to take your time, reminding you that you didn’t have to do it if you didn’t want to. And when the gala came, he was always by your side, standing just off stage, waiting for you after the speech was done. You’d run into his arms, and he’d whisper that you 'did great baby', holding you until the room stopped spinning so much.

i fear i would crash out if i am currently stressed with the idea of being pregnant and remembering my ex bf and remembering my lost parents

If he thought you were weak, if he thought he could break you, if he thought you were the same girl who used to cling to him like he was the only thing keeping you together—he was wrong.You were going to do this without him.

my boss baby!!!

There was a sigh on the other end, the sound of him trying to not to lose his patentience, like he was the one in the right here. Typical Topper. Always wanting to smooth things over, play peacemaker between you and Rafe, like this was just another fight you’d get over.

topper, in the words of reader, a bitching BACKSTABBER

“Maybe what? That he could swoop in and save the day?” You let out a bitter laugh. “He’s not your golden boy, Top. He doesn’t fix anything. He ruins things.”

ugh i love ur dialogues sosososo much

You were having a meltdown, and he’d stepped in, like he always did when you went off the rails. That was the problem with him—he cared, even when you didn’t want him to. He was family, the only family you had left, and he was too loyal for his own good.

so fuck his parents then ig

You sat down, staring at the stick in your hand. This was insane. You were insane. Who the fuck took a pregnancy test ten minutes before they’re supposed to host a charity gala? 

apparently me

There it was.

+

💌 — aaaaaaaaaa, i'm so glad i waited until after my exam to read this and truly experience the gift of ur writing. i love the juxtaposition and parallels in this scene! especially with her deleting rafe from the gala's list, erasing space from him in her life, but having his child grow inside of her. i love love how she has to have a gala for children—and crippling over the current dilemma of whether she has a child herself. and i love that she's very isolated in a sense, because it amplifies how this child can truly make or break her. topper was so enjoyable—especially their conversation. u always write dialogues so smoothly!! honestly, i thought this scene would end with rafe showing up unannounced at the gala, haha but ig we'll see in next chapter

LOVED YOU AT YOUR WORST - r.c series - TWO

pairings: ex!sweethearts; rafe x thornton!reader; rafe x sofia. chapter warnings: mentions of possible pregnancy, of abortion, of pregnancy risks & death. self-loathing. chapter one

You lied.

You didn’t take the tests the next day.

Or the next. You couldn’t. Every time you picked up one of the stupid boxes, your heart would drop to the pits of hell and your hands would start sweating. You’d shove it back in the drawer like it could disappear if you just ignored it hard enough.

Once you knew, you knew. 

There was no more pretending as if nothing happened.

No more pretending like you didn't care that Rafe moved on like he didn’t just dump you, with no real closure and ran to the next girl he found. 

Fuck, why did he have to look so happy that night? He got to be carefree, living his perfect little life with her, and you were there, sitting on the bathroom floor, too scared to even pee on a stick.

What if it was positive? Then what? The thought of seeing his name pop up on your phone after you blocked him, or worse, hearing her voice if she picked up...you’d rather die. He didn't deserve to know.

He didn't deserve anything from you anymore.

You started googling abortion clinics before you even touched the tests. You could afford it. That wasn’t even the issue.

You had more money than you knew what to do with. Your inheritance was just sitting there. You could book a flight tomorrow, pay for whatever procedure, whatever it took—fly out of state, out of the country, if you had to. 

But that wasn’t the point. It has never been about the money. It was the overwhelming shame. The fear. The realization that Rafe might have left you, but he was still there, stuck in your head, in your body, in your fucking life. Even when he wasn’t.  

He didn’t have to worry about any of this. He was most likely out on the boat, not even thinking about you. Not thinking about what he did to you. 

And you— you were left with this. Sitting on a bathroom floor for hours a day, trying to figure out how you were supposed to make a decision that changed everything.

You started looking up clinics again, scrolling through the options, but your mind was barely even there. It was legal in North Carolina for now, but you read something about the 12-week ban they passed in June, and suddenly you were spiraling one more time, wondering how much time you even had. 

Could you wait? Could you put it off like you’d been putting off the tests, like if you waited long enough, maybe the problem would just... disappear? Shit, wouldn’t that be easier?

You heard that voice in your head, the one that sounded like your mom, at least what you remembered from watching old videos.

It was depressing how life didn’t let you hold tightly to your memories sometimes. She always reminded you of the kind of person you were supposed to be. The type of girl who had her shit together. The type of girl who didn’t get herself into situations like this, in the first place.

But instead, you were the girl who lost everything—the life you were supposed to have—and somehow, you’d still found a way to screw up what was left.

You kept scrolling like you couldn’t stop.

One page led to another, and soon you weren’t just looking up clinics—you were looking up everything. 

What happened during the procedure, how long it took, the side effects, the complications. You read horror stories about infections, about women who thought it was over and then bled for weeks, about people who changed their minds too late.

You even looked up what could happen if you didn’t get an abortion—what pregnancy could do to your body. And that was a whole other rabbit hole you didn’t need to go down. Your body changing, your hormones going insane. You thought about your boobs getting sore, your stomach stretching, the possibility of throwing up every morning, and it felt like your body was already betraying you. And then you read the serious stuff—gestational diabetes, preeclampsia, all these words you didn’t even know existed before that night. There was a minefield of things that could go wrong, things that would go wrong.

Complications. Risks. Dangers.

You read about women who almost died in labor. About miscarriages and stillbirths and the trauma of carrying a baby for months, only to lose it. You never even thought about that, how pregnancy wasn’t just this smooth, magical process people make it out to be. It was brutal. But you’d been the little sister, you never saw your mother go through it, or anyone for that matter.

Your younger cousin, Topper the bitching backstabber, had been born and raised in Los Angeles before he moved to Figure 8 when he was five. 

You were terrified—not just of being pregnant, but of what it meant to stay pregnant. Would your body even handle it? You’d always lived off coffee and takeout half the time. An unreasonable amout of parties. Too many drinks some nights.

You weren’t exactly the picture of health. What if you weren’t strong enough? What if something went wrong, and you ended up in a hospital bed, alone, because Rafe sure as fuck wouldn’t be there. It was just you.

For a second there, you thought you might pass out.

You’d thrown your phone across the room, it hit the wall with a thud, but it didn’t help. The anxiety was still there, vibrating under your skin, making you want to scream. You glanced at the bathroom drawer again, where the pregnancy tests were hidden like some cursed thing.

Maybe you should’ve just taken one.

Rip off the bandaid.

The stupid phone rang, like was having fun pissing you off, vibrating on the floor where you’d thrown it. You stared at it for a second, debating if you should even pick it up. You didn’t feel like dealing with anyone, especially not whoever was about to ask something from you.

But it kept ringing, and of course, it was a number you recognized—Lily, one of the coordinators from your dad’s foundation. Shit. You forgot about the gala. Again. The one that was happening in two freaking days, the one you haven’t even thought about preparing for.

You swiped to answer, “Yeah?”

“Hey, I didn’t want to bother you, but we need to go over the final details for the gala,” She greeted you, sounding way too perky for how you were feeling. “I really need your input on the seating arrangements, and the auction items, and—”

It hit you just how ironic this was. You were sitting here, freaking out about being possibly pregnant, scrolling through nightmare stories about abortion and pregnancy complications, while Lily was talking about a fundraiser for children’s health. Kids. It felt like some twisted repulsive joke the universe was playing on you.

You blinked back into the conversation, realizing she still talking, and you hadn’t said a word. “Uh, yeah, sorry. I’ve been busy. Can you just handle it?” you muttered, feeling guilty but not enough to actually deal with any of it.

“I’ve already taken care of most things,” she said carefully, “but we really need your approval on the final guest list and the speech. You’re the face of the foundation, after all.”

The face of the foundation. The legacy your dad left you. It was supposed to be this huge responsibility. And it was. You’d always taken it seriously. The one thing in your life you never ruined. But this year, you hadn’t written the speech yet. Jesus, you forgot it was even happening. And the guest list? No clue.

You rubbed your forehead, “I’ll look at it later. Just send it over.”

Lily hesitated again, probably sensing that something was off, you'd always been a control freak. “Okay, I’ll email it to you. Just let me know by tomorrow, alright?”

“Yeah, sure.”

You hung up before she could add anything else, staring at the ceiling. One more thing. One more responsibility piled on top of everything else. You were drowning in all these expectations—being the good daughter to dead parents, the responsible one, the perfect kook girl who was supposed to have everything. You were supposed to be the girl who had the trust fund, the perfect life, the foundation that helped kids in need.

You earned to be her.

Your phone buzzed again, this time with an email notification. You rolled your eyes, already knowing it was from Lily. She’d sent over the guest list, and you groaned, thinking you’d skim it, give it a half-assed glance, and send it back. But as you scrolled down the names, you stopped.

Rafe Cameron.

Of course, he was going to be there. Why wouldn’t he? His family had been involved in your dad’s foundation for years. It was like you couldn’t escape him.

The fucking nerve. To your gala. Your blood boiled instantly, your fingers gripping the phone so tight you almost cracked the screen.

Fuck him. 

If he thought he could just show up and rub his new life in your face, he had another thing coming. Without thinking twice, you deleted his name, erasing him like he didn’t even exist. And then, without checking another name, you sent the list back to Lily.

You didn’t give a shit if it was petty. You didn’t care if it wasn’t professional.

If Rafe wanted to play games, you’d ruin his life if you had to. He thought he could fuck you over, leave you with all this—leave you with nothing? No. You weren’t going to let him have that power.

Not over this. Not over you.

You were shaking now, but it almost felt good. Even if it was just a stupid guest list. Let him find out when he got there and there was no table for him. No seat. No fucking room. 

You still sat there staring at the screen with that stupid blinking cursor. The email from Lily sat open in front of you, and somewhere buried in the list of attachments was the speech. Blank.

Your speech—the one you were supposed to read at the gala in two days. The one you hadn’t even started writing.

This was always the hardest part. Writing it. Saying it. You used to cry every time. Standing in front of all those people, talking about your dad, your family, how the foundation was this beautiful way of keeping their memory alive. It was never just a speech—it was like ripping your heart out of your chest and letting everyone see it, year after year. It never got easier.

But Rafe, used to be there with you.

Every year. He’d sit with you while you struggled through every word, telling you it was okay to take your time, reminding you that you didn’t have to do it if you didn’t want to. And when the gala came, he was always by your side, standing just off stage, waiting for you after the speech was done. You’d run into his arms, and he’d whisper that you 'did great baby', holding you until the room stopped spinning so much.

You could still hear his voice in your head sometimes, 'you’re stronger than you think'.

That’s what he always said, even when you didn’t believe it. He’d hold you, kiss your forehead, and make you feel like it was true, like you really could get through it. He was always so sure of you. But this year? He wasn’t going to be there. He’d stop believing the lies he fed you. You were angry. You were seething. You were utterly alone.

You’d been avoiding this moment—writing.

This time around, it wasn’t just about the speech. It was about the fact that when you walked out of that stage, you wouldn’t have him waiting for you.

You’d step down into nothingness, with no one to catch you.

Your fingers hovered over the screen, but they wouldn’t move. What were you even supposed to say this year? How were you supposed to stand up in front of all those people and talk about love and family and legacy when yours was shattered?

You hated looking at yourself in the mirror, feeling like you’d lost every single piece of who you used to be.

Fuck the speech. Fuck the gala. Fuck Rafe Cameron and his stupid lies, his stupid smile, his stupid promises that he never kept.  

If he thought you were weak, if he thought he could break you, if he thought you were the same girl who used to cling to him like he was the only thing keeping you together—he was wrong.

You were going to do this without him.

You were going to stand up there and give that speech, no matter how much it hurt. And if it killed you, so be it. You’d still do it.

Because unlike him, you didn’t just walk away from the things that mattered. Even if it tore you apart. Even if it was killing you to keep pretending like you were fine. You weren’t fine. But you’d fake it. You’d fake it until the whole world believed it. 

You’d barely hit send on the email when your phone rang again, and this time it wasn’t Lily.

It was Topper. You hadn’t talked to him since that night—the night. The party where you’d found out, where you’d seen Rafe and Sofia together for the first time. Where you realized that everyone knew.

How he’d called Rafe over, like you needed him to fix it, like he was still yours to rely on.

“What?”

“Hey…” Topper’s voice was cautious, “I, uh, I wanted to call and apologize for the other night.”

You snorted, leaning your head back against the wall. “Yeah? For what part? For calling Rafe like his little bitch or for getting in front of my car when I was trying to leave?”

“I didn’t mean to fuck things up. I was just trying to stop you from doing something stupid.”

“Like what?” you snapped. “Leaving the party? Getting out of there before I had to watch him with her for one more second? Yeah, Top, real dumb of me.”

“You almost ran me over,” Topper shot back, his voice rising just a little, like he was offended you hadn’t mentioned that part. “Kinda felt like maybe you weren’t thinking straight.”

“You jumped in front of the car you fucking idiot. What the hell did you expect me to do? Slam on the brakes and listen to whatever bullshit you and Rafe had to say? Because trust me, ’m all out of patience for either of you.”

There was a sigh on the other end, the sound of him trying to not to lose his patentience, like he was the one in the right here. Typical Topper. Always wanting to smooth things over, play peacemaker between you and Rafe, like this was just another fight you’d get over.

He never really got it.

“Look,” Your cousin started, calmer this time, “I didn’t mean to call him. I just thought—”

“You always think calling him will fix things,” you cut in, “Like he’s the answer to every problem I have. He’s not. Not anymore.”

“I get that,” He added quickly, like he was afraid you’d hang up. “But I didn’t know what else to do! You were upset, and I thought maybe—”

“Maybe what? That he could swoop in and save the day?” You let out a bitter laugh. “He’s not your golden boy, Top. He doesn’t fix anything. He ruins things.”

Topper went quiet for a second, probably trying to figure out how to respond without setting you off on an angry rant again. “I get it,” he said finally, “You’re pissed at him. You have every right to be. But I didn’t call him to hurt you, okay? I was worried about you.”

You hated how genuine he sounded, hated that he meant well. He was a nuisance half of the time, sure, but he wasn’t malicious. He never was. He just had terrible judgment. 

“Next time, don’t,” you muttered, rubbing a hand over your face. “I don’t need you playing little brother and calling him when things go wrong."

“I wasn’t trying to clean anything up,” Topper explained, a little defensive now. “I just didn’t want you driving like that. You were upset.”

You rolled your eyes. “Upset doesn’t mean I need you or Rafe deciding what’s best for me. I’m not a kid.”

“You’re not,” he agreed, “But you weren’t exactly in a great headspace, so yeah, I stopped you. I wasn’t gonna let you leave like that and end up in a ditch somewhere.”

It hurt like a bitch, because deep down, you knew Topper had a point.

You were having a meltdown, and he’d stepped in, like he always did when you went off the rails. That was the problem with him—he cared, even when you didn’t want him to. He was family, the only family you had left, and he was too loyal for his own good.

“You could’ve told me,” you confessed what had been upsetting you, your voice losing some of its initial attitude. “About them. Instead of letting me walk into that party blind.”

Topper sighed again, “I should’ve,” he admitted. “I didn’t want you to find out like that. But it wasn’t my place to say anything. And I didn’t want to make things worse.”

Your hand instinctively moved to cup your stomach. You didn’t even realize you were doing it at first, but the second your fingers touched your shirt, the earlier panic welled up inside you again. If he only knew how bad things were. How bad they could get. You yanked your hand away like you’d been burned, heart hammering against your ribs most painfully. There was no way you could even begin to explain what was going on inside your head—or your body.

Not to Topper. Not to anyone. If he knew, he’d freak and you didn’t need that right now.

You clenched your jaw, pushing yourself to focus on the conversation, on Topper still yammering on about apologies and guilt You shook your head, a bitter smile tugging at your lips. 

“Are you even listening?”

“Unfortunately,” You sounded apathetic even to yourself, fingers tapping against the phone, agitated. “Look, Top, I don’t have time for this right now. I’m busy.”

He sighed. “I know you’re pissed, okay? I get it. But the gala’s in, like, two days. You... you still going, right?”

“Of course I’m going,” you scowled, barely able to hide the bitterness in your voice. “I have to. It’s not like I can just dip out and pretend it’s not happening.”

Unlike some people, you thought, but you bit your tongue.

“Good, because I’ll be there too. And I—”

“Oh, joy,” you interrupted, “Another chance for you to babysit me and make sure I don’t make a scene? Can’t wait.”

“Jesus, I’m just trying to help!” Topper groaned. “I didn’t want to make things worse the other night. I—”

“Yeah. Whatever, I’ll see you at the gala.”

You hung up. You didn’t have the patience to deal with him right now. 

The day of the gala came faster than you thought it would.

It was like you blinked, and suddenly, you were standing in the middle of the venue, walking through final checks with Lily, nodding along as she rattled off details you barely absorbed.

The room was all glitz and glamour, with chandeliers dripping from the ceiling, and everything draped in the foundation’s signature gold and white. 

Crisp tablecloths. Flowers in perfect, elegant arrangements. Waiters in black-tie uniforms were circulating, making sure everything looked flawless. Flawless.

That word made you want to gag.

You moved through the space like a ghost, smiling at the right moments, giving half-hearted approvals when needed.  You didn’t care. People were running around, asking for your opinion on this or that. You’d stayed at the venue longer than planned, making sure everything was in order, but your mind was stuck in that floating-place. You wanted to burn the whole thing down, if you were being honest.

You should’ve called your doctor. Days ago. Hell, maybe weeks ago.

Making smart choices wasn’t your thing lately, was it?

When you finally slipped into the room where they’d set up your glam team, you just wanted to sleep. The room itself was a suite off to the side of the venue, a private space meant to make you feel like royalty.

A massive mirror ran across one wall, surrounded by soft, glowing lights. A table was set up with everything—hair tools, makeup brushes, palettes, serums. Bottles of champagne sat chilled in the corner, the condensation dripping down the glass, untouched. It was the kind of place you were supposed to feel special in.

Normally you did. But this year you were numb.

The stylist worked quietly on your hair, soft curls falling into place as she tugged and pinned each section with meticulous care. The makeup artist was dabbing foundation onto your skin, blending and contouring until you didn’t even recognize yourself in the mirror. The dress hung behind you, a shimmering white gown, custom-designed by Versace for the occasion.

You looked like you were stepping into one of those perfect, glamorous lives. But on the inside, you felt like you were going to lose it at any second. You nodded along, giving tight-lipped smiles when they complimented you, and then they finally left.

The room was dead silent now, just you and your reflection. You stood in front of the mirror, staring at yourself, the perfect curls, the glowy skin, the gown waiting behind you. It all felt wrong. It felt fake. You didn’t bear a resemblance to yourself.

You looked like the version of you that the world expected—the untouchable girl. A doll.

Your rifled through your bag for your phone, but instead, your fingers brushed something else. Cold, hard. 

You hadn’t even realized it was in there.

One of the pregnancy tests. You must’ve thrown it in without thinking earlier that morning when you were rushing out the door. You hadn’t even noticed it until now.

What the fuck were you doing?

You had a gala to host in less than an hour. People were going to be looking at you, waiting for you to give the speech, expecting you to hold everything together like always. And there you were, standing in a private dressing room, about to do something so monumentally stupid. Maybe it was the pressure of tonight, or maybe it was the anger you’d been shoving down for weeks, but suddenly, you didn’t care.

You were going to do it.

Without even thinking, you stormed into the bathroom. You were so fucking tired of avoiding this. Tired of pretending like everything was fine, like you were fine.

What the hell was fine about any of this? You tore open the box, hands trembling as you pulled out the test. The room was so quiet, you could hear every little sound—your breath still uneven, the rustle of your dress against the tiles, the click of the test cap as you flicked it off.

You sat down, staring at the stick in your hand. This was insane. You were insane. Who the fuck took a pregnancy test ten minutes before they’re supposed to host a charity gala? 

You couldn’t get a proper breath out as you waited, heart pounding so hard it felt like it might rip your chest open. You leaned against the sink, gripping the edge. Your stomach churned, the nausea rising again, and you had to close your eyes to stop the floor from spinning.

What if it was positive? What if it wasn’t?

You stared at the test, willing the result to appear, but it didn’t. Not yet. The little window stayed blank, as if taunting you, making you feel like you were losing your mind. You knew you had to wait longer. You weren’t stupid. You’d read those instructions a million times by now, but you hated waiting.

Hated not knowing.

You couldn’t take your eyes off the stupid little piece of plastic. Just one line or two. That was all it came down to. One fucking line or two, and your entire life would either fall apart or what? Be fine?

You glanced at the mirror, catching another glimpse of yourself, and it almost startled you—your eyes were wild. Desperate. They were the eyes of someone who was just about ready to do anything to get this over with. 

You tried to picture telling him again, but the idea alone made you sick. You thought of Sofia, of her perfect smile next to his, and bile rose in your throat. Your hands never stopped shaking. You wanted to run. You wanted to throw that thing in the garbage can and never stare at it again.

Your thoughts spun in circles, going nowhere, just making everything worse. The clock on your phone ticked louder and louder, and you knew—somewhere out there, everyone was getting ready. Guests were arriving. The gala would start soon, and they’d all be waiting for you. Watching you. Expecting you to be the poised, perfect version of yourself you’d spent your whole life pretending to be.

And you were in here, trying not to lose your fucking mind.

You peeked back at it. Still nothing.

No line. No answer.

It felt like you were suspended in time. You closed your eyes, gripping the sink harder, praying for it to end—something to happen, anything.

Then finally, you felt it in your chest—a heavy, sinking feeling, like the moment before a fall.

You opened your eyes. 

There it was.

TAGLIST: @maybankslover @october-baby25 @haruvalentine4321 @hopelesslydevoted2paige @rafebb @rafesbbyy @whytheylosttheirminds

@zyafics @astarlights @bruher @nosebeers @carrerascameron @serrendiipty @sunny1616

@yootvi @ditzyzombiesblog @psychocitylights @maibelitaaura @kiiyomei

@stoned-writer @justafangirls-blog-deactivated2

@starkeygirlposts @enjoymyloves @ijustwanttoreadlols @icaqttt

[deadpoetmagda]

The way everyone now took up in arms blaming women and girls for the elections results and young men turning into the far right truly made something click in me, literally everyone and their grandpa is blaming women, even groups who hate each others are now bonding together like besties just to blame women, so excuse me for ranting on tumblr.com, this is gonna be long :)

What's been happening lately really opened my eyes to how hypocritical everyone is, what's everyone only ever good at is pointing their fingers at women and throwing the blame at us, misogyny and violence against women in all its shapes and forms since the dawn of time till these days didn't cause women to go out on the streets and murder men in masses, yet apparently misandry is real and some comments online made by the evil feminists were enough to radicalize young men and turn them into far right incels and are to blame for the elections in the US, women are always to blame for everything, I'm not surprised with this coming from men but to see women spewing this dumb bullshit too is so disheartening, to me you're no different than the conservatives who blame women for men's "loneliness epidemic" instead of encouraging them to start treating us better, teenage boys and men are shouting "your body our choice" at little girls and young women yet all you fuckers can take from that is that these girls and women are somehow to blame for it!!! A 19 yo girl typing I HATE MEN on her silly little Facebook page or reddit discord after years of nothing but stories of rape and misogyny in the news and in her neighborhood and her school and her home and literally fucking everywhere is to blame for men and boys being radicalized actually, meanwhile the internet is filled with men sharing rape videos and their violent fantasies about us and then they go out in real life shouting and smirking at us admitting how badly they want to strip us of our rights!!

Teenage boys are watching violent porn, men gang rape teenage girls, women and girls get trafficked, raped, beaten, murdered on the daily around the globe, it's statistically proven that husbands mistreat and abuse their wives on such a high scale even in first world countries, not to mention the daily misogyny and sexsism we face, men don't even need to get "radicalized", the majority of men out their don't want us to reach them and be "nicer" to them like you preach, they simply want power over us and to misuse that power, and women and girls who recognize this and see it clearly in the world we live in right now and the thousands of years of recorded history we have and not even to mention personal experiences are the ones to blame... for being aware of it and acknowledging it and demanding change!!!! How fucking dumb are you, or maybe you're just a pretentious hypocrite :)

No one's ever blamed these boys and men for me and other women to end up having radical feminism views, nah they're too busy calling us demented and mentally ill and lecturing us about how to treat men better lest we fail them and blaming us for everything wrong with the world!

Ever since I got introduced to radical feminism and found myself agreeing with some of its ideas and arguments I was always still critical and sometimes even wary of it and never really called myself one, but now if I get totally sucked into it and get "radicalized" myself it's actually all your fault, how about that? Congratulations, centuries of men raping us and creating endless systems to oppress us in unimaginable ways didn't radicalize me, you and your hypocrisy did that instead :)

Honestly fuck all of you dumb shitheads, you can't gaslight us into cuddling men while they keep beating us bloody, I've had enough!

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

A new challenger approaches (slowly)

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[baddingtonbitch]

my current favourite youtube channel is this guy that just gets high as fuck and loses his goddamn mind reacting to various divas for the first time. he understands.

[vammieposts]

I am going fucking insane do they make drivers ed intentionally brain melting??

Everytime i hear this mans voice i feel like im watching honey crystalize or paint dry or cheese Very Slowly grow moldy

Like i know im overreacting but i cant focus on this?? I have to do 30 hours and its like every time i start watching one of the videos my brain turns off and i cant focus on what hes saying i hate online learning stuff so much

i dont care if i have to go to a classroom just make me learn this in literally any other way than listening to this man reading aloud multiple choice questions from a weirdly formatted slideshow for 30 minutes straight with the crunchiest audio known to man

[deepseawave]

obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog

Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force 😂❤️

Can‘t believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D

[thedrotter]

Do any of you remember a Youtube video about Re:Kinder talking about how the game is seen and percieved by some people (mostly touching upon and arguing against how it has been treated insensitively as some sort of weird legend like "ooo disturbing game with a hidden truth behind it" due to it's creator being dead), as well as talking about the charm of the game (even mentioning it's art at some point) and sadness of the themes without spoiling anything at the same time?? I remember the video avoided saying any spoilers at all and only touched on the literal plot as the kids being stuck in a dire situation in the town with all the adults dead without really getting into the why (it didn't even say one of the kids themselves was the cause— as thus, spoiler free), other than that it just touched on the emotional side of it and vaguely mentioned some scenes.

i also remember at some point the later half (at the very least if not in all of it) of the video, music by Siinamota was playing in the background. Does anyone remember seeing a video like this?

I can't seem to find it anywhere and don't even remember the exact year I watched it.😭 It was the way I found out about this game a while ago, which eventually ended up in me playing it, and I really wish I could watch it again. I thought it was a deleted video by someone called hazel as it was mentioned by a lot of people, but I found that one and it isnt it.😓 I'm wondering if anyone remembers watching something along the lines of what im describing and knows if it's still up.

[carcarrot]

well everyone now that sparkstember is over i can now devote my energy to being insane in other still sparks-related ways

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

.